Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Hong Kong sports comedy from 2001. That movie is "Shaolin Soccer".
Now I do remember seeing ads for this movie a long time ago back when I believe Disney was airing previews for one of or a few of their movies on DVD or VHS. Which was interesting to me because, at the time when I saw the previews for this movie, I had never seen anything like it before. And also, I'm someone who use to play soccer back when I was a kid. So this movie already interested me. Though unfortunately, I never actually got to see it for many years until about a few months ago, I found a copy of this movie at one of my local video stores for about $5 and I was instantly sold on it because, well, I already explained why. So tonight is finally the night I get to see this movie for myself.
Now I can tell you guys a couple of things about this movie before I even push play. First of all, I know this movie was directed by a named Stephen Chow. And I've only seen one film from him beforehand, which was "Kung Fu Hustle". Because that movie looked hilarious as shit back then and I always wanted to see that movie. And after finally watching it, I found out that I wasn't really the biggest fan of that movie. I wasn't sure what turned me off from it, but something about it just didn't sit right with me. Maybe it was the style of comedy that turned me off or something. But then again, this was a long time ago, so I can't really give you guys a straight answer as to why I didn't like it back then.
Now something else about this movie piqued my interest. You see, there are at least two different versions of this movie that is advertised on this DVD. One is the English language version that is about 89 minutes long, while the Chinese version is at least 23 minutes longer, at around an hour and 50 minutes long. And I wasn't sure why at first. That is, until I saw the studio that put this movie out on DVD. The studio goes by the name of Miramax. And Miramax has a very notorious history when it comes to editing their movies. I'm not gonna go too much into detail about it here, however, I will say that, at the very least, they didn't completely cut out the full version from the DVD. Otherwise, I would've been stuck with only one version that has cut out over 20 minutes of footage for their English dub. So yes, I am gonna be watching the Chinese version here because I would like the full the experience for this one.
Now I'm hoping for this film to be good. However, as I have already mentioned, I wasn't a fan of "Kung Fu Hustle", so there is a possibility that I'm not gonna like this film either. I'm certainly hoping that I will like it, hopefully enough for me to add to my DVD collection. But I won't know if I end up liking this movie or not until I start shutting up so I can push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Shaolin Soccer".
5 minutes later
Wait, so this soccer player, who, 20 years ago, watched his teammate get his leg kicked in by angry fans after overshooting the goal post, is now not only a coach, but his team is actually called "Team Evil". Now, I'm not a betting man here, but I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that *maybe* they're gonna be the antagonists of this movie. Don't ask me why, exactly, I'm just taking a wild guess here is all.
5 minutes later
So let see if I understand this. If you learn kung fu, it'll help you to avoid completely falling after slipping on a banana peel. I would've never known that. I always thought that if you slip on a banana peel, you just trip and fall. Or if you watch any cartoons that pull this kind of shit, then you would slip and fall in an over-the-top fashion. But I guess if you learn kung fu, you can avoid all that easily. Again, would've never known that.
9 minutes later
OK, so we're now going into a song and dance sequence here. Well, at least the dancing anyway. The singing from before kinda sucked, but now we're now in a dance sequence. Which I didn't think I would actually say about a movie featuring kung fu and soccer, but I'm actually getting it. And it's...rather odd, to say the least. Oh, and it just now stopped. I'm kinda thankful because that music was starting to become shit.
11 minutes later
Well, guys, I am willing to say that, as horrible of a singer as this guy is, at least his kicking skills with a soccer ball are really cool. So, at least it's something of a trade off.
16 minutes later
Did they seriously just repeat the exact same joke about the slightly overweight guy eating an egg out of one of his brother's mouths? They seriously did...I think we get the point that the slightly overweight brother likes to eat food. Granted, it wasn't really that funny to begin with, but for them to repeat the same joke just kinda ruins it a little bit.
6 minutes later
OK, guys, I really do like how they're utilizing the comedy here in which the random chaos that's going on in this soccer game is basically like a war going on where our main kung fu guy, and no I still don't know his name by the way, is crawling with a gun and talking in his walkie-talkie. It actually is a little bit creative, I'll give them that much.
12 minutes later
You know, guys, I would probably believe this potential romance between our main kung fu dude and this girl named Mui, if not for the fact that she hasn't been seen in this movie for nearly an hour since she last appeared on screen. It just seems a little odd for her to be showing up now when she's been gone for nearly half the movie. Just saying.
10 minutes later
OK, I need to say this right now, guys. The makeup on Mui doesn't look too bad, except, she looks as if she's gotten a nose job, and it just looks incredibly off-putting. Maybe it's just me and I probably shouldn't be questioning a woman's choice on how she wants to present herself, but that nose job, if it really is one, looks ugly as shit.
4 minutes later
OK, I need to ask the obvious here. Why is it that only two of the girls are wearing fake mustaches and goatees on their faces? I can overlook them having dreadlocks, but them having fake facial hair, and the fact that the rest of their team seems to look normal just seems really odd to me.
10 minutes later
So Hung, our main villain of the movie, basically just injected his entire team with what I'm going to assume is suppose to be a purple liquid substance of sorts. Don't ask me what it is, I'm not in the field of medicine to know that kind of answer. Best way I can summarize would have to be some type liquid steroids. Which, I guess isn't really that surprising in the sports world, but still, not totally sure what a purple liquid would actually be in this case.
The Review
Well, guys, that was "Shaolin Soccer". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, where to even start with this one? Well, I guess I should let you guys know upfront that the movie is just fine the way it is. It isn't great, but it's certainly nowhere near the realms of it being awful either. It's just sort of in the middle here with this one.
Why don't we go ahead and start here by first talking about the writing. Now, way early on, I mentioned the studio that put out this movie, which was Miramax. And I said that they have a notorious history of editing their movies. They did this with "The Thief and The Cobbler", and the history behind the movie is a long one from what I remember. They also tried to do it with Studio Ghibli's "Princess Mononoke", however, Miyazaki put a stop to that when he sent the then head of the studio Harvey Weinstein a present via a katana in which it boldly stated "No cuts, no edits". Or something to that nature. I only heard about it from other people online who were very vocal about any of Ghbili's work being heavily altered without Miyazaki's permission, as it happened with "Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind" which was then called "Warriors of the Wind". I haven't seen "Warriors of the Wind", so I can't judge it, but I do know a little bit about that movie's history as well.
So with this movie also being published by Miramax, there was a chance that this movie would also receive it's own fair share of editing, and sure enough, that is the case here. Now since I chose to watch the original hour and fifty minute Chinese version instead of the 89 minute English dub, I didn't have to worry about anything being cut. However, with that being said, if there is one thing in this movie that I felt like was a pace breaker, it would have to be the scene where the kung fu dude and one of his brothers are singing together at a club of sorts, and that whole scene was incredibly unnecessary. Not just because the scene was unfunny, but also felt like complete filler that didn't need to be here. So if there was any scene that I felt like could've been edited out by Miramax, it would have to be this scene. And if that is the case, then I suppose that would be one thing that Miramax would be justified in editing out. At least, that's how I felt about it anyways.
Now as for the writing itself, I'm gonna let you guys know first hand that this movie is basically just playing itself out as a live-action cartoon. And any attempt of putting logic into this movie is gonna be thrown right out the window because this movie doesn't rely on any sort of logical storytelling whatsoever. Now granted, you could ask if all of the moves that these players do would be considered normal to everyday people in this film, but then again, there's also a scene in this movie where they'll break into song and dance, and that was considered normal up until the bitchy owner of the steamed bun restaurant asked if they were all deranged and told them to stop, which they did. So again, logic and reasoning is not really something that you'll be able to find in this movie. It's more of you, the viewer, in just trying to roll with it. Which, honestly, is the best way for you to enjoy this movie is by accepting all the crazy bullshit that happens here.
And while I'm on this subject, I want to talk about humor next. Now seeing as how this is a sports comedy, I may as well judge on how funny this movie actually is. And I will say that, for the most part, the humor is actually pretty funny. Granted, there are occasions where the jokes will repeat themselves and some of it will fall completely flat. But other times, this movie will rely on physical humor, which is where any of the soccer scenes will kick in because there is stuff that happens in this movie that is completely over the top and goofy that you can't but smile about how ridiculous it is. Such as during the last game, one of our players will kick the ball so hard that, as the ball is flying toward the goalpost, that a CG image of a brightened tiger will show up as it's roaring towards the goal. Or how our main kung fu dude kicks the ball so hard that he has difficulty in trying to control his kicking strength. I could spell out more for you guys, but honestly, it's better for you to see this for yourself just to get an idea of what I'm talking about.
Our characters here are decently developed, but I did notice one problem when it comes to our soccer players. Most of them don't have any names. And I was going to include our main character as well, that is, until I looked up his name online and found out his name was actually Sing. I would've never known that because I think his name was called out one time and it never was repeated after that. Which is why I kept calling him "kung fu dude" because that's literally most of his character is that he wants to develop kung fu into a positive aspect for other people in everyday life. His brothers, who are also part of the soccer team, really don't have any actual characters to them outside of having a physical trait of sorts. For example, one of them is a workaholic and wears glasses, one of them works at a club cleaning toilets, one of them cleans dishes, one of them is slightly overweight and eats a lot, which is totally not a horrible stereotype, but whatever. But if you're looking for names for any of these brothers in the movie, well, good fucking luck, because they don't get name dropped at all here.
You also have one of our only female characters named Mui, the one who works at a steamed bun shop with her horribly abusive manager. Her character in this movie centers around her not being beautiful and later develops feelings for Sing. And it probably would've been more interesting if, again, she didn't disappear for almost half of the movie. I'm serious, guys, she disappears a little after 20 minutes into the film and then doesn't reappear on screen again until well over the halfway mark of the movie. Which, to me, feels like the movie forgot about her when it focused on our team of brothers being trained by our coach, Fung, who is out for revenge against his former partner, Hung, after his leg was damaged from missing a goal kick after the game finished. And we also learned that the mob of people who beat down Fung's leg were actually paid off by Hung. Why? Because he's evil, and leads his own soccer team called "Team Evil". I shit you not, that is really the name they're called and it still makes me laugh.
So, once again, the writing here is pretty good. Outside of a few jokes here and there that aren't really funny, the movie still has a lot of humor that will more than guarantee to make you laugh. Our story here is also not built on logic or reasoning, and as long as you go into it knowing this, then you're probably gonna have a great time with it. Now as for the acting, once again, I chose to watch the Chinese version, mainly because I wanted the whole content rather than settling for 89 minutes of it through it's English dub. And I am gonna say that the acting in this movie is actually really good. You can tell by the actors body language and their facial expressions that they were having a blast with this movie and they know it. Which is great to see, but then again, right before the ending credits hit, there was a small take of bloopers that showed, at least to me, that they were having a great time making this movie. No one here phones it in, and everyone puts in 110%. It's great here. Granted, I don't know how the English dub handles this, but I can say that at least the Chinese dub is totally good here.
Special effects in this movie are actually pretty good. This movie was made on a pretty low budget of $10 million dollars. Which, for 2001 standards, I think that's within reasonable standards. And the effects are, once again, pretty good. We have tons of CG, which can be seen as a mixed bag because this thing did come out in 2001. So there might be some things here and there that could be seen as dated. And really, the only bits of CG really boils down to the smaller stuff. Such as when you see Sing practicing his kicks with a soccer ball, and the soccer ball is all done in CG. There's also a bit where you see a CG temple entrance being panned out before it switches over to live-action. It's stuff like that where some of the dated CG can be noticed, especially if you're looking for it like I did. But like I said, most of that is just small stuff. The bigger stuff is when you get to see characters doing things that are physically and naturally impossible. Most of that is from the soccer matches, and that's where the CG really kicks in because that gives the filmmakers a chance to show off what they can do with early 2000's special effects. And this stuff is really cool, both for it's time and still holds up pretty well by today's standards. In fact, I would say that a lot of the effects here look a lot cooler than what you would see from a modern movie within the last, I'd say, 5 years or so. But that's just me personally speaking.
So yeah, the special effects here are pretty cool-looking and are definitely some of the biggest highlights of the film. Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is also really good. Sound-mixing here is fine. The music is mostly decent, outside of a couple of moments. Such as that song and dance sequence I brought up way early on and it kinda sucked. But it didn't suck as much as when you see Sing and one of his brothers singing as a pair of monks, and the song *really* fucking sucks, along with the music. Now to be fair to this one, I do think it was intentional, because the camera will pan to the audience with some of the most dumbfounded looks on their faces as if they can't believe what they're hearing. So, I'm gonna give this one a little bit of a pass here, even though I could rail on it more like I did way early on. And I wouldn't be surprised if Miramax did cut that scene out in the English version because it really is still a pace-breaker that you could remove from the film and you wouldn't be missing a thing.
But anyway, when all is said and done, guys, can I recommend "Shaolin Soccer"? Yes, I can. As long as you go into it knowing what to expect. Mainly that this is a live-action cartoon that relies on its own logic and rules. And if you go into it with your brain turned off, then I think you'll enjoy this greatly. If you're one of those people that really enjoys Stephen Chow's films, then yeah, I would say it's definitely worth watching, if at least just once. And I will say that while I did enjoy watching this movie myself, I'm not totally sure if it's worth rewatching a second time. It kinda brought back some unwanted memories about why I wasn't a fan of "Kung Fu Hustle". Now mind you, while this movie is, at least in my opinion, better than "Kung Fu Hustle", I still don't see myself rewatching it again on multiple viewings, let alone a second time. Now I don't want you to take that as any sort of discouragement from me. I still can recommend the film, despite some of it's noticeable flaws. And if you enjoy it enough to watch it on multiple viewings, then more power to you. It's just, for me, I just can't quite see myself watching it again a second time. Even though it does have an English dub that I haven't seen yet, I still don't think that's enough for me to hold onto my copy of the movie. At least, that's just me, personally speaking. Now, I'm gonna go and watch a different movie. Preferably a comedy film. And you know what? I haven't seen "City Hunter" in a quite a long time and I feel like I'm due to give it another watch. So, I'll go and do that next as soon as I get done with typing this review.
Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.
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