Reaction & Review | Creepozoids

Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a sci-fi horror movie from 1987. That movie is "Creepozoids".

Now, I do know a few things about this movie. First of all, it's another movie from Full Moon. And as I've been doing for this year, I wanted to cover more films from Full Moon Features. And so far, the results have been a little bit of a mixed bag. There's "Skull Heads", which I actually wound up enjoying. Then there was "The Day Time Ended", which really kinda sucked. And then there was "Assault of the Killer Bimbos", which wasn't good, but I still enjoyed in a so bad it's good kind of way. If you want to know more about my thoughts on it, then you can look it up somewhere on my blogspot.

The next thing I know about this movie has to do with who stars in it. The person who stars in this movie is Linnea Quigley. And she has had a rather interesting history with this series because she's been in movies that I've covered that either really sucked, such as "Panther Squad" and "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama", or stuff that I actually enjoyed like "Malibu Express", which was the first film in Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series. So regardless of the quality of films she's been in, she's always had some sort of presence with this series. And also, I didn't even know about this until I looked at the front cover of this movie. it also says that she was in "A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Masters", which was a movie that I covered not too long ago. And yeah, she actually was in that movie, which I didn't mention at the time because her appearance was very brief from what I remembered. But yes, she's been in a lot of movies that I've covered for this series, and she's also the star in this one. Now whether that's a good thing or not, I'll just have to find out for myself.

A couple of other minors things that I know is that David DeCoteau is directing this movie, as he is somewhat of an infamous B movie director that makes hit or miss movies. Really, guys, his track record for me is straight in the middle here. I'm hoping that this one will at least lean towards the positive rather than the negative. And the last minor thing I know about this film is that it's really short. It's only 72 minutes long, so even if this movie is terrible, my pain will be short and sweet. Though I have regretted those words in a couple of movies I've seen beforehand and they turned out to be incredibly painful despite being short.

I'm hoping that this movie isn't going to suck. In fact, I want it to be decent. But considering who's directing it, it can really go either way. And the only way I'm gonna find out where this film will lean with me is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Creepozoids".

6 minutes later

Oh my god...guys, I know this is still early in the film, but the acting in this thing is horrible! Mind you, I was sort of expecting terrible acting. I didn't think it was gonna be this fucking bad, though. But who knows? Maybe this will be a situation where the horrible acting might actually become funny. I don't know yet, but I'm hoping that it's not just gonna be completely horrible throughout the entire movie. Though now that I just said that, I fear that it might actually just be me putting way too much faith in this movie. Still, I could be proven wrong. I'll just have to wait and see where this film goes.

8 minutes later

So the guy in glasses just discovered a severed head, and upon screaming, the rest of the gang go and check it out. But instead of asking questions as to why that head exists, the leader, I'm guessing, just kicks the head away and says that it's not gonna hurt you, before he, and everyone else left that was with him, left. It might just be me, guys, but if I was the leader of this group of survivors, and I saw a head like that, I would begin to ask questions and then tell my group to stay armed on the off chance that there might be something here that was responsible for this kill. I'm just saying, guys, a little common sense wouldn't hurt.

14 minutes later

O...K...so, two things, guys. One, Jesse's dead. That's the guy who was wearing the glasses. And the way he died was actually really kinda fucked up. And it probably would've been more tragic if not for the way that a couple of the team members reacted which ended up being fucking hilarious as shit. Again, I want to emphasize that the acting in this film is fucking terrible. But that scene just now made that entire thing hilarious as shit. Just wow...

11 minutes later

Oh, now we have a giant rat taking a bite out of Butch's arm. And it looks like an oversized hand-puppet, too. God damn, guys, this movie's getting stupider with each passing moment, yet I'm sorta kind of enjoying it so far. Oh wait, it's *not* a puppet it's looks more like a giant doll rat. Well, still, it looks stupid as hell. But again, I'm actually kind of enjoying it. It's surprising me a little bit.

4 minutes later

So, guys, I'm now getting my first actual look at this monster in all it's form and...it kinda looks like a, uh, Xenomorph hybrid of sorts. It has hands, so it knows how to throw people...really, guys, it's sort of hard for me to describe what I'm seeing here. Oh, it can also produce acid rain, I think. Not sure how it's able to actually do that, but at least it's sort of unique. So that counts for something.

3 minutes later

OK, guys, two things I need to bring up here. One, it took about half a minute for this bitch to actually do something and help get this giant rat off Linnea Quigley. And while I'm on that subject, are they gonna explain where the hell this rat came from? My only guess is that it came from sort of experimental lab somewhere in this building. But even so...oh, it's now biting the neck out of the stupid bitch that finally decided to help Quigley out. Well, needless to say, I don't feel sorry for her. So...two down, three to go, I guess.

16 minutes later

So, that thing can actually produce a baby hybrid monster of sorts. Gotta say...it looks a little disgusting. Wasn't entirely expecting it, but still. Definitely not something I would've called.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Creepozoids". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Well, um...where to even start here? I guess I should let you guys know that for all of this movie's faults, it is actually rather enjoyable. At least, most of it anyways. The last 15-20 minutes or so kinda drag out, and the way it ends is also a little bit disappointing. I'll get to all that later when I get talking about the film itself, but still, I did enjoy for this movie for the most part.

So now, let's dive right into this one here by first talking about the writing. Now, honestly, the writing here is actually pretty easy to follow. At least, when it comes to some of the basics anyway. We have our group of five survivors, who are actually former soldiers that are deserted, and are taking shelter inside some kind of complex laboratory building where something else is lurking there and it's hunting down our survivors one by one, and they have to kill it before it kills them. Now yes, it's a story that you've heard plenty of times in other sci-fi horror movies of it's kind. In fact, while watching this movie, you can totally tell that the writers were inspired by other films like "Alien" and John Carpenter's "The Thing", in which you have some kind of unknown creature that the characters have no idea what they're up against, and there's also a sense of paranoia going on as well as the movie continues onwards. And to an extent, it actually does sort of work. Now again, it's not gonna be on the level of what those two movies were able to accomplish, but I still think the set-up here is actually pretty good for what it was trying to do here. So I can definitely give the film that much for at least trying to make it work as much as possible.

That being said, however, this movie is also incredibly stupid. I mean, you have characters in this movie who are stupid as shit, and I would say they almost border on what you would find in other traditional horror movies where the characters are completely stupid and they get killed off for their troubles. This movie is no exception, of course, as all those tropes are well in effect here. We have our main character, Jake, who is essentially the leader of our survivors. And at one point, he's very hypocritical about his methods. Because when a couple of his comrades mention that there may be something lurking here, he kinda just throws that idea off because the place is completely abandoned. And then later, he then decides that they're going to do some scouting around the place just in case. And it's not because he was trying to heed their suspicions, it's just because he wants to do so. Well, dude, if you weren't suspicious about it then, then why hell are you even bothering with doing some scouting now? OK, yes, he's at least doing something sensible, but for him to say that kinda shit earlier where there's nothing at this building just seems really stupid for him to even say.

As for our other survivors, we have Butch, who mostly acts whiny sometime after Jesse gets killed. Speaking of, Jesse is really just the nerd of the group, and he has no real character besides that, especially since he's the first one to eat the dust in this film. And as for our two female characters, we have Kate, who is the brown haired bitch who took her time to think about helping Linnea Quigley out in getting the giant rat off of her. By the way, you never learn where this giant rat came from at all. My guess is that it came from some laboratory where it's keeping other animals as experiments. And as for Linnea Quigley, well, her character in this movie is named Blanca. And, much like with every character in this film, she really doesn't have much of a character to speak of other than having huge tits. But I guess that's sort of a trait for Linnea Quigley. But yeah, characters in this movie are completely one dimensional and don't have any real depth or personality to their characters.

Now to continue talking about the writing's flaws, Jake, at one point, mentions that this creature that's hiding around the base is supposedly smart and is not actually trying to kill them. Even though it ends up killing 3 of our characters, and one of them, Kate, ends up getting bitten by a rat, who then later turns into a zombie of sorts. I don't know *why* she gets turned into a zombie, but she apparently did for some weird reason. And it's obviously never explained. I'm guessing, what with everything that I saw involving this creature, I guess it can impregnate itself and have a demonic looking baby, which is what I'm guessing is suppose be this big experiment that was going on at this laboratory to begin with. In other words, scientists wanted to play God and that's what it spawned. Mind you, I'm only guessing this kind of shit, because the movie never really expands on this idea beyond what little it actually does here.

One other problem this movie does have is it's ending. Well, to be more specific, the last 15-20 minutes really kinda drags itself out for too long. It's essentially just Jake trying to fight off both the giant black alien creature, and then fighting the demonic alien baby of sorts. Again, don't ask me how that all works, I'm not a scientist in any way to make sense of that shit. But yeah, the last third of the movie really drags itself out, especially with the alien baby fight because it really could've been resolved in about 3 minutes and then the movie would end. But it ends up dragging itself out to almost 10 minutes, and, a bit of a spoiler here, the alien baby ends up surviving, which causes the movie to end with a still frame of this thing before it fades to black and credits start rolling. So yeah, the whole ending sequence was probably the most disappointing thing about this movie.

But that aside, the writing here, while stupid as hell at times, is actually kind of entertaining in a rather hilarious way. Is it good? Fuck no! This movie is in no way "good". But again, it does have that charm to it where it's so bad, it's funny. So, on that end, the writing succeeds in that area. And the acting? Oh, it is beyond terrible. The worst actor, by far, would have to be Jake's actor. Because the man sounds very wooden, especially when he's giving out the most confusing delivery of when he see's Jesse's body convulsing. And the way he calls out to his name is so fucking funny that it actually saves his performance a bit just because it's so stupidly hilarious. Seriously, if you ever get a chance to see this movie, watch it for yourself and you're almost guaranteed to get a laugh out of it. Everyone else is just as bad as Jake's actor was, and that includes Linnea Quigley. She really doesn't have much going for her here. Even though she takes second in having the most screen time, she's still really terrible here because she didn't have much to work with for her character. Now mind you, at this point, I really don't mind her being in these sorts of movies, as she is known to be the queen of B movies by some people, but here, I believe she could've had a little more material to work with. But then again, her character also dies in this movie, so I guess maybe it was better she had whatever was given to her and just gave the bare minimum until that part. But that's just my own theory, really.

Long story short, the acting here is terrible, but it's terrible in a so bad it's good kind of way. Now I will give this movie one big positive, which is the special effects. They're actually pretty decent, at least in terms of it being a low budget movie from Full Moon at the time. The costuming on this Alien hybrid bug of sorts actually looks really cool. And the effects for when you see somebody die and convulse horribly looks really good. It's better that you either look it up yourself or if you ever watch this movie, because me trying to describe it wouldn't really do it any sort of justice. It's nasty as hell, but it's still a really cool effect, and easily the best one in the entire film. The only effect that looked really cheap was the giant rat I mentioned earlier. As it's a mixture of being either an over-sized puppet or just a stupid looking doll. Either way, it looked kinda like shit. But honestly, I'm willing to give that one a pass because it's so fucking stupid that it's kinda hilarious.

Other effects like laser guns are kinda standard when it comes to visual effects, which is far more than what I could give from last week's movie "Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe", where they couldn't even do that much with their guns. And mind you, that movie came out at least 4 years prior to this film, and that movie was made on the ultra cheap compared to this one. So yeah, the special effects here are pretty good. Our sets here are okay, even though there's not really a whole lot to begin with, since you see the same sets many times throughout this movie, especially anytime a character is either walking or running down a specific hallway. Seriously, that shit got kinda old after a while. But other that, guys, the special effects here are definitely the biggest I can give this movie.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is also decently lit, even though there are quite a lot of darkly lit scenes, they still managed to make it work, surprisingly enough. Sound-mixing here is good. The music, well, there's not really much here I can say about this film's score. A lot of it is just techno music from I picked up on. Other than that, though, the score is nothing to write home about.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said done, can I recommend "Creepozoids"? Only if you're a fan of B movies. If you're not into it, then there's obviously no way in hell I can actually recommend this thing to you guys. If you are into it, however, then I would say it's worth viewing at least once. I'm not sure about sitting through it multiple times over, but if you like the campy B movie stuff like I do, then I think there's a chance that you'll really enjoy it. It's not the best from Full Moon, obviously, and I've seen better from David DeCoteau, but this is still pretty decent for what it tried to do here. And that's good enough for me to hold onto. At least, for now, anyway. Like I said, I'm not totally sure how much better this thing will get on repeat viewings, but I'll just have to wait and see the next time I get around to watching it. In the meantime, however, I'm going to watch another Full Moon movie. And the first one I'm thinking of is actually "Skull Heads". I still enjoyed it quite a bit and I kinda want to see how well it holds up on a second viewing. So I'm gonna go do that next after I get this review written and uploaded.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.