Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a science-fiction film 1989. That movie is "Millenium".
Now, I discovered this movie a couple of years back when I was searching for movies that I could possibly cover off of YouTube. Now I am gonna spoil this much, I won't be covering it off YouTube. I found a copy of it at one of my local video stores for about $3. So, on the off chance that this thing does suck, I won't be losing out on too much here.
Now the main reason why this movie peaked my interest has to do with it's premise. The premise to this movie is that an airplane ends up taking a flight a thousand years into the future through time travel. How exactly that happens is something I don't know of, as of yet, but it did intrigue me enough to warrant covering for this series.
Now seeing as how I didn't have a whole lot of information to work with, I decided to dig into this movie's history and see if I could come up with anything. And I can tell you guys a couple of things. First off, this movie is based off a short story called "Air Raid", which was written by a man named John Varley. And not only did he write that story, he also wrote the screenplay for this movie, too. So, at the very least, this movie will be pretty faithful to it's source material. Granted, I haven't read the short story, but again, at least I know that this thing will most certainly be faithful to it's story.
But then I kinda came across something else about this movie. Apparently, it had a rather troubled production. The film started out life in 1979, and the story had to be written at least six different times, according John Varley. It also went through 4 different directors before it was taken over by someone named Michael Anderson. At one point, legendary actress Natalie Wood was set to be in the movie and the film was gonna be put out by MGM. Unfortunately, due to the actress's untimely death, they backed out of the project, which caused more problems for the film's production. And eventually, the movie was released by a now defunct studio known as Gladden Entertainment.
Now with all that aside, I'm curious to find out if this movie will still be any good, despite all of the problems this movie went through during it's production. I'm hoping that it is good, or at least halfway decent, but there's really only one way for me to find out. And the only way I'm gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Millennium".
18 minutes later
All right, guys, so far, this movie hasn't given me much to work with. But I can confirm two things. One: A plane from the beginning of the movie crashed and killed just about everyone on it, after the plane hit that odd flying object. And two: Some of the passengers that had digital watches are suddenly counting backwards. Why? How? I have no idea. But I will say that at least I am interested enough to keep watching. And hopefully, the movie will provide some answers at some point.
15 minutes later
So let me see if I understand this. When they brought the wreckage of the destroyed plane, nobody, aside from Bill here, discovered the blinking red light that was a part of the wreckage? Furthermore, I'm actually kinda shocked that it survived from being damaged in any capacity. It still looks perfectly intact. Which raises my question again on how the hell nobody discovered the blinking red light when they were surveying all of the broken parts? Yeah, it was still hidden, but it wasn't hidden all *that* well. I'm sure one person might've discovered it at some point. But nope. Nobody discovered that whatsoever. I'm sorry, guys, but I find that just a little bit hard to believe.
18 minutes later
OK, I have a couple of questions here and it's really starting to bother me now. One, why exactly are our female characters from the future traveling back to 1963 to begin with? I must've missed something, because otherwise, it doesn't really make much sense unless if they were trying to fix the space time continuum, or some such bullshit like that. And two, one of their cohorts is possibly dead now thanks to a nutcase who held a woman hostage with a gun. Wouldn't that already be messing up the time paradox and causing the future to be messed up again? Guys, this movie's already starting to hurt my head, and the less sense it continues to make, I'm probably gonna end up hating this one. I don't want to hate it, but the movie's not giving me much of a choice right now. I just hope it'll make some sense later on.
3 minutes later
All right, guys, I do want to make one quick correction on my part. The woman I mentioned who got shot with a gun that was from the future is still alive. And according to her, she "stopped" the bullet. How exactly she did that? I don't fucking know. It doesn't really make any sense, but then again, this movie isn't really making much sense to begin with. But still, at least I can kinda admit that I was wrong into thinking that she was already dead.
4 minutes later
Once more, guys, I have to make *another* correction on my part. The woman I mentioned a second ago, who's now named Susan, did end up dying. I know it's probably a trivial thing to correct myself on, but it's something I feel like I have to do. So hopefully, I don't have to make that kind of correction again from here on.
7 minutes later
OK, I have a stupid question here and I know it's probably not gonna be answered, but I want to ask it anyway. Now Louise is in the past again where she's meeting Bill before he found the stunner. I'll talk more about her going into the past again later in the review. But anyway, they're redoing some of the scenes where she and Bill first meet up and she tells him that she has her own car. Yet, she doesn't have any actual keys for that car until she got into it and started it up. Did she just steal that car from somebody? Because I imagine it wasn't really Louise's car to begin with so she must've stolen that car on the fly after she and Bill got into it. I know it's a really trivial and stupid thing to be bringing up, but it's those sort of details that makes this whole movie even stupider than what it already is.
20 minutes later
OK, hold up, hold the fucking phone here! So, Louise knows that the stunner that they lost back in the 1963 flight was picked up by a young Dr. Mayer. If she knows this, then why the fuck didn't they just go back in time to a day earlier before Dr. Mayer got on the flight to make sure he doesn't get the stunner?! If he still has the stunner from back in 1963 that means he *still* has that stunner now in the current time of 1989, which means he might've already discovered what the fuck this stunner's intention actually does! Oh my fucking god...you guys have no idea how much I hate this thing now. And the fact that I have to talk about this piece of shit in the review is kinda making me dread for what's to come. This might end up being very painful, guys.
The Review
Well, guys, that was "Millennium". Thank fucking god it's over. Let me shut this garbage movie off...OK. Good god, that movie was stupid as hell. You guys remembered earlier when I brought up this movie's troubled production? Well, after finally getting a chance to watch it, I'm not surprised it turned out the way it did. This movie is just so stupid and so inane with illogical plotholes that I could be here for a whole day trying to explain every stupid thing that happened in this movie.
Let's start this thing off proper here and talk about the biggest problem with this movie: The writing. And the first thing I have to talk about is when you're a doing film that involves time travel, you have to have a set of rules for which you cannot break. An example this movie brings up is that after you come back to the future from where you first time traveled, you cannot go back to that certain point in time in that location again. And this breaks that rule from when Louise is told that she has to go back to 1989 and try to stop Bill Smith, our main character, from investigating the plane crash. She ends up near the hangar from where they first meet up near the beginning of the movie, and, like I mentioned earlier, they replay some of the scenes involving them together. The only difference is the second time when Louise goes back to 1989, they extend the scenes between her and Bill as they go out to dinner to try and get Bill's mind off the investigation. Slight spoiler here, that doesn't happen. He still ends up remembering her and, well...I'm tempted to spoil the ending, but I'm not sure if I should or not.
You know what? Fuck it, I'm going to spoil the ending here. Because it's still fresh in my mind and I cannot get around it if I don't try to explain it. So, for those of you who don't want spoilers here, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs because I'm gonna be spoiling the ending here. To help with this, I'm gonna be separating it into different lines. So it'll be easier for you if you don't want to read spoilers. So if you want to skip the next section here, you are free to do so. For everyone else, I'm gonna spoil the ending and talk about why it sucked.
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SPOILER WARNING
So, you guys remember when I mentioned that whole thing where Dr. Mayer when he was younger and was on the 707 flight of 1963? Well, he still had part of the stunner with him since that time and he's been trying to discover it's secret ever since. Bill Smith visits him as he talks about the woman he saw and how he wants to find her. Dr. Mayer discovers that she might've been from the future and she's also a time traveler. Well, he ends up showing the ignition to Bill, who also had the stunner with him. Louise goes back to that point to try and stop them from creating a time paradox, or else the future she's from will be destroyed.
I should probably try to elaborate further on this. You see, those people at the beginning of the movie who died in that plane crash...never ended dying to begin with. They were taken out unconsciously and were taken to the future by way of a time gate. They then replace those people with fake identical bodies to pass off as them being dead. The reason why Louise and her people are doing this is because, in the future, their people are dying, as is their future, and they need to repopulate as much as possible, especially with females, since they're the only ones who are capable of giving birth. Now what exactly Louise is saying by her people are dying in the future is never explained. They never say it's from something, like, a virus, or nuclear war, or something related to that. She just says that her future is dying and they need to retrieve both stunners in order to stop the time paradox.
Well, here's where it gets really stupid. Dr. Mayer ends up combining both stunners that both he and Bill retrieved. Louise yells at him to stop but he ends up getting electrocuted to death after he combines them together and dies. This somehow leads to the conclusion that the time paradox is beginning to happen in the future, so she and Bill end up going to the future, and everything that's happening there is suddenly going to hell. The guy in the wheelchair explains that Dr. Mayer wasn't supposed to be dead for another 6 years. And that, somehow, causes the time paradox to happen and everyone there is going to die. So they send everybody off that they captured and replaced towards a light that would send them to a distant future where they can begin anew and keep everyone alive. This also includes Bill and Louise, and it ends with a monologue where "the end is now the beginning", or some such crap like that. But yeah, that's the whole ending.
Now, the one question I have out of all this is why is it exactly Dr. Mayer who causes the time paradox to happen? Is it because he had half of the stunner with him this whole time? Even if that was the case, that's still a very half-assed answer because, like I mentioned way early on, they could've just gone back to a day before Dr. Mayer got on the flight in 1963 so that he would not be in possession of the stunner. And the reason why he had it to begin with was because one of Louise's friends and comrade died after getting a bullet to the stomach. So I ask again, what makes Dr. Mayer so damn special for him to be the one that causes the time paradox to happen in the future? It doesn't make any sense and it makes me wonder if he was actually a more important character in the previous drafts of this movie. I don't know, but either way, it's just a whole fucking mess with him being involved.
SPOILER END
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So, for those of you who skipped all of that, let me try to summarize it the best way I can. The ending is fucking stupid as hell and it makes no sense whatsoever. That is honestly the best way I can describe it to you guys. And it also makes this time travel story even more convoluted and stupid than what it already is. In fact, this may be one of the worst movies to ever implement time travel in it's own movie. Now I may eventually end up taking back that statement if I ever end up covering another movie involving time travel. But you know what? Just based on what I saw here, that's gonna be a challenge and a half for any movie involving time travel to implement it worse than how this movie did.
Now...setting that whole issue aside, what about the rest of the writing? Barring the spoilers, the rest of the movie is just kinda bland and uninteresting. It does start off very promising, as we have our cast of characters investigating what happened during the plane crash. That stuff, to me, was the most interesting the movie ever got. Unfortunately, however, the movie slowly backs away from that subplot and goes into the whole thing involving Louise trying to get the stunner back. And it also tries to build up some romantic subplot between her and Bill. However, they have no real chemistry with each other. They only just met, like, a day and they're suddenly already dating, having dinner with each other, and them hitting it off in a hotel room. And I should mention the first time was mostly from Bill's point of view. The second time that they replay these scenes is when we get more extended stuff between them. And it's not interesting either way because their characters are really one dimensional and uninteresting. That goes for the rest of the characters, too. No one has any real depth or personality and you're not gonna care about anyone in this movie.
What also bugs me about the second time that they go out is the fact that Louise ends up becoming an idiot because she's doing the exact same shit as she did with Bill the first time around. And I don't want to hear "Oh, it's from a different point in time where she doesn't remember any of it". I'm sorry, but I hate that kind of excuse when it comes to time travel stories. Very rarely, do they ever do this right. And this movie is most certainly not one of them.
There's also one other thing that bothered me that they really could've explored more. Now, early on in the investigation, they brought up the digital watches that some of the passengers were wearing, and that the clocks were going backwards. I thought this was gonna be used as a plot point where we found out that time is slowly going backwards instead of forwards. That could've been really interesting. But instead, later on in the movie, they just pass it off as a "computer error". Yeah...I'm not kidding about that either. Now, in a little bit of fairness, it could be said that those digital clocks were made by the people of the future and that they didn't know how to replicate digital clocks. Which, again, raises a-whole-nother issue, considering, you know, these people are from the future, so they should know how to recreate digital clocks more accurately. However, I'm attempting to put logic into a movie that seems to be allergic to it. So, why should I start making sense of it now?
Guys, like I said earlier, I could be here for a whole day talking about all the logical issues that this movie had, but I think I covered enough to give you guys an idea of how awful this movie's writing is. And yes, I could say that this movie would be fine if you go into it with your brain shut off. But I can't really do that here, because of how awful the writing is, there's no way you could not think about the writing the moment you start to question it. It really is that bad. The acting is also teetering on being bad as well. I mostly contribute the bad acting to our two main leads. Kris Kristofferson sounds very wooden here. Which, admittedly, I don't really know if that's how he naturally sounds when trying to act, because I've never seen him in any movie before until this one. Or it's possible that he wasn't given enough material to work with, which is also a possibility because, as I've mentioned so many times beforehand, you can only do so much with a bad script that's given to you. Cheryl Ladd doesn't sound as wooden as Kristofferson does, but she still does phone it in as well. She's puts almost no effort into the role that she's suppose to play and I really feel like it's the same case where her character wasn't given much to work with either. Everyone else here, aside from them, sounded OK, but nothing that will set the world on fire. But yeah, acting here isn't really good.
Special effects are actually the one thing I can say that this film does sorta right. The visual effects here look alright for 1989 standards. Admittedly, I don't know what the budget is for this film, but I'm going to take a guess here and say that it was made on a lower budget. And if that is the case, then the special effects here look fine. Costuming and makeup effects, however, are a ridiculously mixed bag. The costuming in particular is something I'm not exactly a fan of. I will admit that I sorta liked that Louise and her comrades were able to get accurate costumes and wigs that resembled hostesses from 1963. In other words, they had to match the hostesses that they stunned in the 1963 flight and replaced them as if they were actually them. That stuff to me looked pretty neat. However, when it comes to their regular costumes in the future, it looks cheap and nothing how I would envision someone in the future would dress.
The ones that stood out to me the most were the council. Now to give you guys an idea of what they look like, I want you to imagine the faces of famous celebrities in "Futurama", where their faces would be stuck in glass containment pods and are still alive. This is a little bit like that, however, the big difference here is that the faces on the council look like half-finished plastic surgery. In other words, the side of their faces would be held up to the side. Which sounds creative, in concept, but once you actually see them talking, it just looks so awkward and out of place that you're not entirely sure if that's what they were meant to look like or if there was suppose to be more done with the council than than what they look like now. Either way, it will throw you off on how awkward their faces look.
Now, aside from all of that, everything involving technical work is fine. Camerawork, lighting, sound-mixing, and music all functions normally. Granted, there's no way in hell anyone's gonna remember this movie for it's technical work, but at least all of it works fine. So I can grant the movie that much.
But overall, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Millennium"? Hell no. No fucking way am I actually gonna recommend this film to anyone unless if you somehow can shut your brain off and enjoy it as a mindless popcorn flick. But I'm gonna warn you right now, the moment that you start to think about how off the writing is, you are more than likely gonna hate this thing. Especially if you're somebody who really likes movies involving time travel. I'm personally not really a fan of these particular movies, because I think the whole time travel concept is completely overdone. But that's just me personally. If you want to take a shot at this movie, then you go right ahead and do so. But again, only if you have your brain shut off. Everyone else, I would avoid this movie at all costs. I seriously cannot recommend it to anyone who's into science-fiction films, especially ones that involve time travel. And speaking of which, I'm gonna go and watch one of the few films I have that involves time travel and is actually good. I'm gonna go watch my copy of "Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox". Because I need to be reminded of something good after watching something like this. This movie is just a massive fucking turd and I'm sorry that I even had any interest in watching it to begin with. But hey, at least the good news is that I didn't have to spend too much on it, and I would've never known if it was good or bad had I not covered it for this series. So, I guess that's at least something.
Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.