Reaction & Review | Cinco De Mayo

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we're a celebrating a rather festive holiday. One, in which, I normally don't ever celebrate, but since today is that day, I figured I could do something a little different for this series, which is celebrating Cinco De Mayo. And what better way to celebrate this holiday than by checking out a movie that literally has it in the title. It is a Mexican slasher film from 2013. That movie is, well, "Cinco De Mayo".

And really, guys, I don't know a damn thing about this movie, other than that it's a slasher film and I've also heard that it's the very first Mexican slasher film to ever be made. Which I question that greatly, however, I'm not gonna check whether or not that claim has any real credibility. The only other thing I know about this film is that it's operating on a rather low budget. So, this movie could go either way for me knowing that.

I'm hoping that this movie will, at least, be decent. I don't know if it's going to be any good or not. I haven't seen any clips or trailers, so I'm going into this one as blind as possible. But hey, even if it does suck, I can at least say that I've covered the first Mexican slasher film to be ever made. Which would be totally cool, if that claim was actually true, but I still don't know if it is or not. The only thing I'm focusing on right now is this movie. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is decent at all is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Cinco De Mayo".

4 minutes later

So, guys, we just finished our opening prologue where some guy was walking on the sidewalk in the middle of the night. A couple of guys in a truck pass by and kill him, and one of them suggests that they gotta get rid of the body somehow. And there's no context to any of this whatsoever. I'm certainly hoping it'll make more sense as the film goes on, but right now, I'm just left rather confused by the whole thing.

5 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a question here. Is it normal to only have about 5 people attending a classroom? I ask this, because the professor's class only consists of about that number. I haven't really attended a classroom in years, but normally, I would usually envision more than 5 students there. I just don't think that's normal, you know what I mean?

11 minutes later

I swear to god, guys, the acting in this movie is horrible. Like, this is some of the worst acting I've heard in quite a while, especially from a low budget movie such as this. This is just shit, and I'm probably gonna have to get use to it for the next 50 minutes or so.

4 minutes later

Wait, so let me see if I understand this. According to this doctor, he claims, discreetly, that people of Valdez's color are prone to violence and predicts that Valdez will eventually snap himself. And so as his way of preventing that with treatment, he's gonna give Valdez a knife so that he can practice his bloodlust in a "safe" environment. What fucking sense does that even make?! I thought he was gonna give him some kind of medicine that wasn't approved by the FDA, but no, instead, he's just gonna give him an actual knife just so he can practice and let out his anger in a "safe" matter with each session! Words cannot begin to describe how retarded that idea is, guys.

10 minutes later

So this guy who showed up at Valdez's house claims to be a sheriff, and he had just gotten a complaint from Valdez's neighbor that Valdez had threatened him earlier. Now what's interesting about the sheriff is that he's not wearing a police uniform, nor is he wearing a badge to show off that he is indeed a sheriff. Either he's off duty, which is rather suspect considering he just admitted that he got a complaint from a neighbor, or the filmmakers were just too lazy to find a police costume of sorts to put the actor in. I'm gonna take a safe bet here and choose the latter in this case.

8 minutes later

So, we just got our second kill of the movie, where our killer uses a garden tool to kill the gardener. And that probably would've looked really cool if the camera didn't keep cutting back and forth like that the way it just did. It looked really cheap and kinda shit, really.

6 minutes later

OK, guys, two things. One, the acting has gotten worse, especially coming from Valdez's actor. And two, setting aside that, how the hell does he know that his students are gonna have a party at the woods? I don't recall any scene beforehand mentioning that. And if I did, then I must've missed something, because it went by really quick. So I'm wondering how the hell did he know that his students are gonna have a party in the woods? I'm really sorta curious now.

6 minutes later

So now, the movie's decided to stop itself entirely just so we can have some woman, who was also at the beginning of the movie, promote a different film that she mentioned earlier. And we're actually seeing a trailer for it, too. Why the fuck is this in here?! Why are we stopping at this late juncture of the current movie just so we can have a trailer for something completely different?! And maybe I wouldn't be complaining about this if the trailer for this movie was actually any good. But it's not. In fact, it's just about as dull and boring as the movie I'm watching currently is. This movie is bordering on becoming unwatchable, guys. It really is.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Cinco De Mayo". And that was ending was retarded as hell...no, shut up. I'm done listening to your awful soundtrack, movie. Fuck off and die. Jesus Christ...so, where the hell do I even begin here? Well, I guess, I can officially say that, after watching this piece of shit, I am never celebrating Cinco De Mayo ever again. Now, don't let what I say discourage you into celebrating it. If you actually do, that's totally cool. I am not against people celebrating that particular holiday. However, as I said before, I don't really celebrate this holiday to begin with, and this movie already soured me on that idea anyways.

Now then, let's just get right into this film here and try to figure out where to even start here. Well, I may as well just start with writing, because that's how I normally start these reviews anyways. The writing in this movie is garbage. Now, conceptually speaking, the film sounds very simple. It's about a teacher trying to teach Mexican culture to his students, who most seemed very disinterested by, which makes me question why they even attended his classes to begin with? But that's just a minor problem. Anyway, our main character, Humberto Valdez, tries to get his students to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by protesting against the attacks that have been happening lately where Mexican flags are either being taken or destroyed at people's houses, and is also trying to raise awareness about the kid, who I mentioned at the prologue, where he was supposedly killed by some gang members, and his body was found somewhere near the campus where Valdez is teaching his students at. And after through some questionable scenes involving racism, Humberto is given a knife by some crazy psychologist, and not a doctor, as he slowly transforms into the killer we have for our film.

Now, in the hands of a competent writer, this film would definitely have the potential to be really good. However, this film fails at being both a horror movie and as a social commentary. And in the case of the latter, it really rears it's annoying head in by being preachy as hell with it's messaging involving racism, which most of it involves almost every white character being racist towards Humberto, which somehow makes him the good guy in the end as some sort of reincarnated spirit of something that I don't remember the name of. It doesn't really matter anyways, because none of it makes any sense, and the messaging is just too overly preachy for it to work anyway. Also, as a horror movie, it's not scary in the slightest, and it's also being overshadowed by the film's message as well. Which gives out more of an impression that the movie has a bit of an identity crisis. It doesn't know whether or not to be some stupid, campy B-movie horror film or a social commentary flick involving racism and Mexican heritage. Like I said earlier, in the hands of a competent writer, you could probably make it work. But as is, it doesn't really work here at all.

Just about all of the characters here are all shallow and lifeless. The only one who has any sort of depth is our main character, Humberto Valdez. Because he comes off as this tragic, awkward character who had good intentions in regards to his teachings. And if he was written better, I probably would've said that he was the best character in the entire movie. However, by the time he becomes our killer, he ends up becoming boring as hell, and as a killer, he has no real interesting aspects about him, other than his mask, which he got from one of his students who made it in their art class. All of his kills are also dull and uninspired. A lot of it is just stabbing his victims. The only one that had any potential was the one involving the garden tool. However, as I said earlier, the potential of the kill kinda got ruined with it's camerawork. However, I got quite a bit to say about the camerawork later on. But yeah, the kills here are not very good at all, which is rather disappointing.

There's one more thing I wanted to mention about characters, and it has to do with our sheriff. Well, our supposed sheriff, anyway. As I mentioned earlier, he doesn't wear any kind of police uniform or any sort of badge claiming that he is a sheriff. And I'm willing to bet that what he's doing is rather illegal, too. See, he comes across Valdez's neighbor, who ends up being the first victim killed. And when he discovers his body, he doesn't immediately call for an ambulance, nor does he call for any kind of backup, just in the case killer might still be around the area. And he doesn't even do this for any of the other victims, too. No, he just decides to investigate all this by himself because that's most sheriffs actually do, right? Well, I don't know any sheriffs that do that, unless they were bought off or corrupt as hell. Either way, I'm still willing to bet that they're at least more smarter than our pretend sheriff tries to be.

Now let's talk about the other problem involving writing, and that would be it's pacing. The pacing in this movie is beyond horrible. First off all, our first kill doesn't come in until well over half an hour into the movie, which is already a red flag, especially for a film that's only an hour and 10 minutes long. And also, during the last 20 minutes of the film, the entire movie stops itself just so we can have a fake movie trailer that does nothing more than pad out the film's runtime. And the trailer itself, outside of it being complete shit, is four fucking minutes long! So, just to reiterate to you guys, you have a movie that's an hour 10 minutes long, and you dedicate 4 minutes of it to a fake movie trailer that, again, does nothing more than to pad out the film's short runtime.

And what's really infuriating about all this is something I picked up from regarding the special features on the back of the DVD case. And two things stand out at me. The first is that they have the fake movie trailer by itself, without it being crammed into the actual movie we're supposed to be watching. And the other thing that stands out is that they actually have deleted scenes. Now, I don't know if they would've helped the movie at all or not, but it's really telling of a movie that, instead of actually putting those scenes into the actual movie itself, you decide to put in your fake movie trailer over it instead! And it's even more insulting that you actually have it as an option to watch the trailer by itself, but they decided to put it into the movie for nothing else other than fucking padding! And that is fucking inexcusable.

Now, having said that, the writing as a whole is shit. Again, in the hands of a competent writer, this mixture of it being a horror movie and as a social commentary could've had the potential to be decent. However, with the way that it's handled as a final product for the movie, it's completely terrible. Which, on that note, greatly transitions over into the acting. Because the acting in this film is beyond terrible. Nobody here puts in any actual effort. The worst of this comes from our would-be sheriff. Because his acting is so damn wooden that it almost hurts to listen to. In fact, I'm willing to bet that a lot of these actors here have never been in a movie before and I'm just going to assume that they were pulled off the street somewhere and asked if they wanted to be in a movie, and thus, they quickly got the part. At least, that's what I'm going to assume anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if even part of that was true. So yeah, guys, the acting here is horrible.

Special effects here are really cheap and shit. OK sure, I wasn't expecting much from an ultra low budget movie, but I was at least expecting something kinda decent here. Instead, most of it is just cheap blood effects that we've seen done in many other slasher films. But what makes it worse here is that a lot of the kills are done off camera. And I know I've beaten this horse already, but the one kill that I had some hopes for was the one that involved the garden tool. Unfortunately, it kinda gets brought down by the camera cutting back and forth while the victim is screaming in pain. And we actually do get to see the aftereffects of his death, as you get to see his face, which is suppose to be covered with blood and, I'm going to assume are either cuts or blood wounds. Unfortunately, that kinda gets ruined when you see that the latter is just small strips of black tape covering parts of his face. It looks kinda shit and is what ultimately ruined what could've been a cool kill.

Let's talk about camerawork next. Because there are two things I need to mention when it comes to this movie's camerawork. The first thing is consistency. Now, this movie is suppose to be something of a homage to grindhouse movies, which is why the quality of the film looks like it came from a VHS tape. And I will say, for the most part, it looks really decent. However, there was one scene that I noticed where the quality seems to change whenever Valdez's neighbor gets killed. The camera's quality will lower, which I assume was suppose to give off a dark vibe to the whole scene. Which I find really odd, because they don't do that for any of the other kills beyond just that one. Why would you do that for this one scene but not the others is something that I found rather odd. Now, mind you, this one is more of a minor problem and it's something that you probably wouldn't notice as much as I did. But still, it is something that I still wanted to mention.

The second thing I wanted to mention about this film's camerawork is actually something that I talked about a long time ago back when I reviewed "Drive Thru". In which the camera did a close up on an actor as they were wearing sunglasses, and you could see the film crew in the lens of the sunglasses. Which made the camerawork in that movie look absolutely amateurish and shit. Well, a similar situation happens here. Only this time, our actor isn't wearing sunglasses. They're just wearing normal glasses. So, on top of what I mentioned back then, I'm going to add another tip for any filmmakers who might happen to be reading this review out of curiosity. If you're filming your scene outdoors during the day, and if you seriously need to do a closeup of your actor while they're wearing spectacles, make sure that they're not standing in a position where the sun is beaming down on them. Otherwise, you'll get a scene where you get a closeup of Valdez's glasses as he's wearing them, and you can actually see the cameraman filming the shot while he's standing behind the camera stand at the same time. Again, it makes your film look completely amateurish and shit. And considering this movie was filmed on an ultra low budget, I was at least expecting better when it comes to this film's camerawork, but I guess not in this case.

So, outside of the very questionable camerawork, lighting here is actually kinda decent. The sound-mixing here is actually competent, too. The score, however, is terrible. There's one piece of music here that really pissed me off because they kept playing that same damn piece over and over again. The best way I can describe it to you guys is if it's someone playing a piano with only one hand, and they're playing about 7 or 8 different notes in one sequence. And you'll hear this same piece of music in a good number of scenes, mostly with ones that are suppose to be serious. And they're not, thanks to this awful music, because they kept playing it so damn often, sometimes on repeat! I got sick and tired of hearing that piano piece really quickly the moment that they kept replaying that shit! The rest of the music is, well, unmemorable and also really kinda shit, too. Not as awful as that piano music, but still pretty bad.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Cinco De Mayo"? No. There's no way in hell I'm ever gonna recommend this movie to you guys, even if you celebrate that holiday. I guarantee you guys can find better movies to watch on Cinco De Mayo. I don't know what exactly, but I'm sure they're probably better than what was shown here. As a horror slasher, it sucks. As a social commentary, it blows. And it's, overall, just a really horrible film that I can't possibly recommend to anyone. Now is it the worst horror movie I've ever seen? Not even close, no. It's never going to top shit like "The Item", for example. However, a movie would have to actively go out of their way to ever reach the lowness that was "The Item" in terms of it's suckage. But just because this movie is nowhere near as bad as that film was doesn't mean that it's not a horrible movie by it's own standards, which it most certainly is. And on that note, I'm gonna go and watch a better horror movie. I'm gonna go and watch "Stage Fright" again, because that is definitely a much better slasher film that I could've been watching over this thing, so I'm gonna go do that right now as soon as I get done with this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Chokeslam

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Canadian romantic comedy from 2016. That movie is "Chokeslam".

I'm gonna be honest with you, guys, I know almost next to nothing about this movie, outside of a couple of things. First off, I know this movie involves wrestling. And you would think that I would be interested in watching this movie because I am a pro wrestling fan. However, it's also coupled with the fact that it's a romantic comedy. And I can count on one hand the number of good romantic comedies that exist...which I'm still trying to think about, because that number remains at zero. So this movie is already off to a bit of a rocky start, and I haven't even pushed play yet.

Now I also know one of the stars of this movie is former WWE Champion, and hardcore legend, Mick Foley. And while I know that Mick Foley can cut a really good promo when he needs to, I don't know if that's necessarily gonna translate into whether or not Foley can act. That's kinda sorta the thing here. I don't know what role he's suppose to be playing in this movie, though I'll find out shortly as soon as I start the film up.

I'm hoping for this film to at least be watchable, or perhaps maybe even be actually good. However, as I just stated, I'm not a fan of romantic comedies, so there's a high chance that this movie is gonna suck. I'm not saying that I want it to suck, but my bias against romantic comedies is most likely gonna play a factor here. So with that said, I may as well see what this movie can actually do here. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is at all watchable is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Chokeslam".

14 minutes later

So, guys, I'm able to at least confirm one thing so far. The acting in this movie is just awful. Like, seriously, this acting is some of the worst I've heard in quite some time. And I'm probably gonna have to put up with this horrible acting for the next...hour and a half or so. This might end up being a painful experience, guys.

17 minutes later

All right, guys, I've been patient for a while now, so I may as well ask this now, even though I don't think I'm gonna get an answer for it anytime soon. When does this shit get funny? I mean, OK, I know I'm biased against romantic comedies and whatnot, but you could at least churn out something related as a joke! This movie's not even trying to be funny, and the only thing that it's actually doing is making me bored and depressed as all hell. That's really kinda terrifying, guys.

14 minutes later

So the best thing this movie can do for it's comedy is having a piece of wood from Corey's fence stick up in his ass. I'd say this makes sense in context, but with or without it, it still isn't funny at all.

20 minutes later

Well, guys, at least this movie got one thing right. The title of this movie is basically just Smasheena's finishing move. I know that's not saying very much, but at least the movie was able to provide that much, so...I guess that's a positive.

16 minutes later

Oh boy, guys, now we have actual drama between our two main characters. Perhaps maybe if I gave half a fuck about this, I would probably care about it. But no, all the fucks I have left are completely gone. Actually, they went away long before this, but still, I really don't a single fuck about their troubled relationship. The only thing I really care about is the movie ending. And thankfully, there's almost 20 minutes left to go, so I'm gonna finally be happy once this film is done, guys.

10 minutes later

Wait, how the hell did Tab even know that Corey was in the building? Corey was barely in the building when he, his friend, and Dad showed up. So how the fuck did Tab even notice him? I'm really curious here, because that honestly just seems like it came from outta nowhere. Just thought I'd mention that.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Chokeslam". Thank god, it's over. I'm gonna shut this garbage movie off now...OK. God, that song was annoying. You guys didn't hear it for obvious reasons, but that ending credits sounded incredibly annoying. Anyway...where the fuck do I even start here? Well, I guess I can answer this first, even though you guys already know what the answer plainly is. Was this movie good? No. Fuck no, this movie was boring as shit. Is it at least watchable? Uh...kind of, I guess. If you can overlook the horrible pacing this movie has. However, I'll get into all that later.

Might as well just start off as I usually do with these reviews. Let's start with the writing. What fuck writing...? There is no story here whatsoever. At least one that doesn't have an interesting plot or characters that you can care about. No, this is the kind of movie that you would find airing on the Hallmark Channel, only without any of the profanity or the stick up Corey's ass joke that would never fly on the Hallmark Channel. Because without any of that, this would totally qualify as a Hallmark Channel Original Movie. Well, "original" is stretching it, because the Hallmark Channel doesn't know the first thing about being original. Especially when it comes to airing their Christmas movies, since they're all the same god damn movie, just by reworking the plot a little bit and giving it a new title, and there you go. Brand new movie title, same fucking shit. And I would not be shocked if this movie somehow actually aired on the Hallmark Channel in Canada, where this film was being made. I don't even know if Canada actually has a Hallmark Channel, but if they do, well, there you go Canadians, I've found you a new movie that you can air if you're that desperate for something slightly different for your Hallmark Channel.

So now that I've turned away any Canadian viewers who might actually be reading this review, let's talk some more about the movie itself. Now if you really want a summarized version of this movie's "plot", allow me to go through some of the motions for you. A female wrestler named "Smasheena" comes back for a 10 year high school reunion. Our main character, Corey, is looking to try and make amends with her and see if she wants to go out with him again. Turns out she actually has a boyfriend, who also happens to be her manager and is also a bit of a sleazy scumbag. Well, during a conference, Corey, with the help of Luke, and a couple of other people through various events, ends up promoting a retirement match, to which Sheena was already contemplating on with her manager to begin with, and also tells Corey not to reveal this information. To which, he inadvertently does, because his friend, Luke, ends up messing the idea by revealing it early and Sheena gets pissed at Corey, even though he it wasn't entirely his fault. And through all that, they end up play wrestling and eventually she has her retirement match in Corey's hometown, despite her manager's suggestions of holding it in some bigger arena in either Chicago or Florida. And, oh, drama happens between Corey and Sheena, and through via bullshit shenanigans and pep talks, they end up together and the movie just ends.

Seriously, guys, I'm not kidding when I say that this movie would be perfect for the Hallmark Channel. I know I've been beating that horse a bit, but I seriously don't know how I else I can describe the plot to this movie. It's predictable garbage that we've seen done many times beforehand, and this movie does nothing new whatsoever. Even with wrestling added to the mix, there's really not a whole lot of it that's interesting or even unique about it. It just feels incredibly tacked on, with a couple of wrestlers added to the mix to bring flavor to the movie. And on an off note, the wrestling itself is just boring as shit. I know people will keep bringing up the whole "wrestling is fake" shit, but, guys, as someone who has been to a couple of wrestling events, I can tell you that the matches I saw there were more fast paced and interesting than what we actually got in this movie. That's how uninteresting the matches are.

Now since this movie also advertises itself as a romantic comedy, I should go ahead and tell you guys that the comedy in this movie is a complete misfire. There's not a single joke in this movie that'll you make laugh. Actually, this movie doesn't even try for a joke at all because it just relies it's own made-up bullshit as humor, and none of it is funny. None of it is witty. And unless you find Corey's awkwardness to be completely humorous to you, then I guess you might find something funny about that. But again, this is something that's been done numerous times beforehand, and it wasn't interesting then, nor is it interesting in this movie. The humor in this movie is, as I just said, a complete misfire.

Adding onto that, the pacing in this movie absolutely atrociously bad. This movie feels like it takes *forever* to get itself going. I thought that, by the time we got to the retirement match for Sheena, the movie would probably end there. And it really should've, because at least then it feel something like an ending. But nope, the movie keeps going for another 20 minutes or so, and it just feels so fucking long. And even before that, the rest of the pacing is also horrendously awful. Nothing about this movie flows in a good matter and it makes wish that there as an actual editor for this movie who would trim a lot fat from this film and condense it down a bit. There is no reason whatsoever for this movie to be 102 minutes long. I would've not minded being that long, if, again, the pacing actually flowed better, and we got something that was actually interesting for it to warrant being 102 minutes long. But no, this movie feels way too long and really should've gotten rid of a ton of padding.

To give you guys an example, let me talk about the characters for a moment. As I already said about Corey, he has this awkwardness to him that makes him unsure about whether or not he should go for the girl that he let get away from his high school reunion. That part doesn't really bother me as much as it should. No, it's every scene where he talks with this Indian woman about his troubles, and these scenes offer *nothing* of value. I'm serious, guys, every scene that involves her is, not only pointless, but also unfunny, too. If this film had cut out every scene involving her, the film would've flowed a *lot* better. And before I get some kind accusation of being racist, I'm not attacking her race. I'm attacking the scenes that she's involved in that serves no purpose to the movie whatsoever. If she had played more of a bigger part, like Luke or Corey's mother, I would probably be fine with it. But as is, her scenes had no rhyme or reason to be in this movie whatsoever.

As for other characters, well, you have Tab, who, as I said, is going out with Sheena, and is also a sleazy scumbag manager. Because that's totally not an overdone trope that we've seen done in many other films and TV shows, where the manager is always the villain and I'm personally really sick of that trope in general. As for Sheena herself, well, she's rather inconsistent. See, at the beginning of the film, it's shown that she has some anger issues. And I thought that would play more of a part as the film went on, but they really don't do very much with it later on, and eventually, she just drops that whole anger thing altogether as if it never happened. And as such, her entire personality is boring as shit and all she does is contemplate her feelings on either Corey or going to Japan to wrestle over there. And like with everything else in this movie, it's not interesting at all.

So yeah, guys, I think it goes without saying that what little writing is here is just complete and utter garbage. I really cannot think of a single thing about this movie's plot that I would consider a remote positive. Maybe I would've considered the wrestling bit to be decent, but with how much it's tacked on here, I can't really do that. So yeah, there's not a single positive I can garner out of this movie's writing. The acting here is almost equally horrible, with the one lone exception being Mick Foley. Granted, he's not in the film for very long, but with what few scenes that he's in, he's actually the only one here who seems to be having some kind of fun. And I should also briefly mention that another wrestler by the name of Lance Storm is also in this movie for a short time, too. However, like with Foley, he's not in the movie for very long either, and I personally have never cared about Lance Storm to begin with. But I at least wanted to mention him for anyone who might be interested to know. But yeah, outside of those two mentions, everyone's acting is just beyond garbage.

Costuming here is OK, I guess. And I'm mainly referring to the ring attire "Smasheena" wears. Granted, the bulky shoulder pads aren't really anything special, but at least the costume itself is decent I suppose. There's really not much I can comment on for special effects outside of, maybe, a little bit of blood being poured out at one moment between Corey and Tab. Beyond that, there's nothing much else I can say about special effects.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is lit well enough. Sound-mixing here is decent. The music is honestly special. I'm kinda ranging it on being a little shit, mainly for the ending credits song. Like I said, it sounded really annoying to me and I doubt it'll actually get any better if I took the time to listen to it. So yeah, music here is kinda shit.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Chokeslam"? Hell no! There's nothing about this movie that'll appeal to you, unless you find the whole tacked on wrestling bit to sell you on this movie. That, or if you are one of those sad bastards that actually watches Hallmark Channel Original movies and you want something that's safe and similar to that, then yeah, you could probably add this crap to your collection of viewing. But if you want something that's actually interesting, or if you don't like romantic comedies like myself, then there's no reason for you to watch this. It's boring, slow, and it offers nothing new or interesting, even as a romantic comedy. It's also not funny either, so that's another reason why I could not recommend this film to you guys. It it just trash from top to bottom and I'm thankful that I no longer have to contemplate on whether I should keep this thing for my DVD collection or just sell it, because it's going straight into the latter option. Now, speaking of my DVD collection, I'm gonna go and watch something better right now. And I want to watch something that both involves wrestling and is also a comedy. Well, I have two of those things. One of those is "The Calamari Wrestler", which I reviewed not too long ago and loved it. And I also have the first 4 episodes of "Ultimate Muscle" on DVD. I'm gonna go and watch those episodes first, and then I'll watch "The Calamari Wrestler" afterwards, because I could use a good laugh after getting through this fucking turd.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Cecil B. Demented

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a black comedy from 2000. That movie is "Cecil B. Demented".

I cannot begin to tell you guys how long I've had this movie in reserves and never got around to it. Mainly because, other movies had higher priorities on my schedule. So, I just kept putting it off, and putting it off some more, until recently, I had an opening for my schedule, saw that I had still had this film on me and I've finally decided to buckle down and finally get around to watching it. So I'm actually hoping that it's finally worth it after all this time.

Now the premise to this movie is actually really interesting. Basically, it's about a group of terrorists, who ends up kidnapping our female lead into making an underground movie of sorts for them. What kind of movie it is in context is something that I don't know at this time. But I will say that it does sound rather interesting. And I also know the movie was directed by John Waters, who's had a rather interesting history with movies and TV. Mind you, now, this is the very first of anything of his that I'm watching, so I'm curious to see if this film will be a good beginner for me of his.

Other than that, guys, I don't know what else to expect from this movie. Like I said, I hope that it'll finally be worth watching after putting it off for so long. So I may as well just see if this film is any good at all. And the only way I'll know that for sure is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Cecil B. Demented".

7 minutes later

So, guys, I'm going to assume that this is suppose to be our actress, Honey Whitlock, who will soon be kidnapped. And she's already becoming the most unlikable character in the entire movie. However, I could also apply that to a good majority of actors from Hollywood who also put on that facade, too. I hope, by the time this movie ends, that she ends up being dead after all this is over. Calling it right now.

9 minutes later

You know, guys, what's kinda weird about all this? So Cecil has taken in Honey hostage, and his goons are basically forcing everyone out of the theater in their terroristic ways. And yet, the kid who is in a wheelchair and just got done with surgery, is still up on stage, and seems to be taking all this pretty well. I'm not totally sure how I would react if I was in his situation, but I don't think laughing at the whole thing isn't something I would do. But maybe that's just me.

11 minutes later

Cecil: Do you SEE the pain your performance is causing me?!

Dude, your actors aren't really any bettor. Yes, I know the joke is that the acting for his movie is probably suppose to be bad, but I've seen low budget movies with horrible acting, and they don't compare to the horrible acting that Cecil's actors are doing. Just thought I'd mention that.

6 minutes later

So, upon entering the theater, Cecil and his actors, along with Honey, are rolling their film in real time. And as soon as they interrupt a screening of "Patch Adams", they throw tear gas into the crowd and then they just immediately retreat after saying their lines. I really thought they were gonna do more than that to "destroy cinema", like mass murder or something. But no, they just throw tear gas at the people watching "Patch Adams" and...that's it. I'm gonna be honest, guys, that scene really kinda sucked. Oh, and also, this song that's playing right now is also really shit, too. Thankfully, you guys can't hear it for obvious reasons. But still, that song, and that scene before that, really sucked.

17 minutes later

Wow, guys, this movie couldn't be stupider if it actually tried. So, we just had a shootout between Cecil's actors and some police officers at this film festival of sorts. And out of all that, we have one of Cecil's actors shot dead, Cecil himself being injured, two officers down, and Honey turning herself in, only for her to realize that her name power doesn't mean anything when the officers take her in, and she tries to yell at Cecil for help. Oh, and now Cecil and his cronies are going to rescue her, and they're *still* filming their stupid movie. God damn it, this movie is becoming stupider with each passing minute, and I'm not sure how much more of it's stupidity I can actually take!

8 minutes later

So, Honey was actually married to Eric Roberts. That's...a little interesting. Not really funny, mind you, but still, at least that's kinda sorta interesting.

7 minutes later

All right, I have a dumb question here, and I know it's too late for me to be asking this, but where the hell is security?! You would think that, with how Cecil and his crew of retards have been invading cinema related places, that they would have tighter security in response to all these terror attacks from Cecil and his posse. But I guess that's not the case, because the people of Baltimore, Maryland are fucking retarded. And I'll get to why later once I start reviewing this thing.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Cecil B. Demented". Thank fuck, it's over...no, shut up. I'm done listening to your bullshit soundtrack, movie. Fuck off! Jesus Christ, that was horrible...! So, I guess that sorta gives away what I thought about the movie, but yeah, this movie fucking sucked.

So, let's just try to get into this one and see what the hell I can dissect here. Let's start with the writing. The writing in this movie fucking stupid as hell. Now granted, there are some things here that, on the surface, are actually kinda clever. Because this movie, even though it came out in 2000, actually does poke fun at the idea of stuff like movie's getting remade or the rise of more video game movie adaptations being released in theaters, or nowadays, streaming services. If this thing were actually remade today, I guarantee that almost everything here would be made with modern ways to watch movies and TV shows. But even then, I strongly doubt that this movie would ever be remade today because Hollywood movies are completely different now to how they were made in the early 2000's. Which, for some people, will some seem like we had it better back then, but I personally think that it goes far beyond that. However, I don't want to turn this into some preachy mess about how movies back then were "so much better" in comparison to today's movies. Which I find it to be a bit unfair, because there were a lot of shit movies back then that still suck today. At least, from my perspective, a lot of movies are like that. And this movie is no exception.

Now with that aside, I do want to talk about one of the biggest problems with this movie is that the whole film just feels like a chaotic mess. One stupid thing leads to another after Cecil and his goons kidnap Honey Whitlock, and it just gets stupider each time Cecil and his gang shoot their movie in real time by sabotaging theaters and trying to destroy modern cinema. Which, OK, the premise itself had a lot of promise, but it really doesn't feel natural because, like I said just a moment ago, it just begins and ends with a chaotic mess. It especially gets more stupider each time Cecil and his gang get into a shootout with either the Baltimore police or any of the staff for the "Forrest Gump" sequel. Both of these scenes in particular are some of the stupidest scenes I have scene in a movie in quite a while. And both of them have similar patterns when it comes to their scenes.

The biggest I'm gonna give out is when they invade the Maryland Film Commission and they eventually get into a shootout with the police offers of Baltimore. And it's where I have to point out a remark I made about the people of Maryland being complete retards. Because it looked like there was no security at the event. Even when shortly after Cecil and his band of retards enter the fray and start causing a commotion when they're filming their movie live. And when the police arrive, there was only *one* cop car and two police officers that show up, both of whom are shot dead. Now I also mentioned one of Cecil's goons was also killed too. I believe his name was Fidget. He actually ends up surviving somehow, probably had bulletproof vest on or something. Now more officers do show up, especially when two of them end up taking in Honey after she temporarily gives up to them. And it's shortly after when Cecil and friends show up to push aside the police car with their van. Now how and why exactly the police didn't end up chasing after them after their little shootout at the Maryland Film Commission is something I don't understand. I'm going to assume maybe they weren't prepped enough or some such shit like that.

Which then brings me to the other scene where they were filming "Forrest Gump 2". Again, almost the exact same thing happens, except some of the staff on set got free and actually fight back with their own guns. They actually took out a couple of Cecil's goons, but Cecil and his group still got away. And continuing on with the people of Baltimore, Maryland being complete retards, there was no security on site around the lot. Which, you would think that they would have some degree of security, especially since Cecil and his goons have been going around sabotaging theaters and stuff related to cinema while filming their stupid movie, but no, that's not what happens. Instead, it just shows more proof that the people of Baltimore, Maryland are stupid as shit and the police of Baltimore are also incompetent retards for not actually going to any lengths to not beef up any security. Now yes, I'm sure an argument could be made that they wouldn't know where Cecil would strike next, but Baltimore can't be *that* fucking big, can it? And since Cecil's not operating out of Baltimore anyways, that would make it easier for them to cover some kind of ground against them. But then again, maybe I'm just putting too logic into a movie that seems to be allergic to it.

Which then brings me to my next point, because there's always that one person who's going to try and say that I'm taking this film way too seriously, and that I should just take it for what it's trying to present itself as, which is suppose to be a satire on the film industry, and enjoy it for what it is. And maybe, if I went into it with my brain shut off, then there would've been a slight chance that argument could hold water. However, I can't really do that here because a lot of it here isn't really that funny. Some of it is clever, sure, but I wouldn't constitute it as funny. A lot of the movie is just chaotic as hell and you're not given a whole lot of breathing room to try and maybe flesh out more of the writing or try to develop it's characters a bit.

Speaking of, that brings me into the other problem this movie has. Almost all of the characters in this movie are completely void of personality and depth. In fact, there's one trait that Cecil and his goons all have. Basically, guys, they're all horny as shit. Whether it's for each other, or for Honey Whitlock. And as I said, their personalities aren't really all that better. I could barely remember any names, save for Honey Whitlock, Cecil, Cherish, and Fidget. Everyone else, I could just write off as a horny retard and just leave it at that, but I'm gonna try to name off a few things that I remembered about certain characters. Honey is unlikable, both before she gets kidnapped and when she is forced to join Cecil's band of retards. Cecil himself has just one personality of trying to get his movie finished before he and Cherish can fuck each other. Cherish is a former porn star who claims to have been molested by her parents and brother. I say that she claims that, because it's never really confirmed whether that was true or not. Fidget is the only one I can remember that's kind of a weakling and is coerced in trying to call his parents by Honey. Which goes nowhere, even after he contacts his parents. And Maggie Gyllenhaal's character is that she's a satanist, which I find incredibly laughable for my own reasons. But still, she really isn't interesting whatsoever, just like the rest of the characters in this movie.

So yeah, guys, I think it's easy for me to say that the writing here is just a stupid mess. And normally, I enjoy stupid movies, but this shit is too much, even for me. Which is pretty sad to say, because this movie did have a lot of potential to be really interesting. But as is, it's not interesting enough for me to watch a second time on. Now I will say that, despite me not really liking the story that much, the acting is mostly really good, save for Maggie Gyllenhaal, who's easily the worst actress in this entire movie. Part of that is because Maggie Gyllenhaal can't act for shit, and ever since her role in "The Dark Knight", I really haven't gone out of my to watch anything that she's involved in. Granted, I didn't know that she was in this movie until I saw her name in the opening credits and I was forced to watch her act in this movie. And she didn't even do a passable job at it. That being said, everyone else here did a pretty good job with the material that they were given to work with. So, I gotta most of them props because they actually did try, except Maggie here, of course.

Special effects mostly consist of pyrotechnics, blood, and blanks for gun play. There's honestly not much I can say about it, other than that it's just fine, really. Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting is lit really well. Sound-mixing here is also good. The music, however, is complete shit. Almost every single piece of music used in this movie is awful, especially the ones that center around Cecil himself. They're all terrible songs, and it's easily the second worst thing about this movie, aside from the messy writing.

So, I guess it goes without saying, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Cecil B. Demented"? Personally, no, because the writing here is too stupid and chaotic to find any enjoyment out of. Unless if you're either into this sort of thing, or if you go into it with your brain shut off, then there is slight possibility that you might really enjoy this film. But as for me, I really don't see myself ever watching this movie again. Like I said, the story had a lot of promise, and in the hands of a competent writer, I probably think that it could've been great. But unfortunately, what I got here instead is a stupidly written plot, along with stupid characters, that I can't see myself ever going back to this film ever again. I just can't do it here. So now, I'm gonna go and watch something better. Perhaps I'll find something better that's both stupid and charming at the same time. And you know what? The first movie that comes to mind is the 1994 live action "Street Fighter" movie. I'm gonna go and watch that next just so I can find some joy in something rather than what I just watched for this series.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Rock 'n' Roll High School

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a musical comedy from 1979. That movie is "Rock 'n' Roll High School".

Now I've been wanting to watch this movie for quite a while, ever since I discovered this film at one of my local video stores some time ago. And the reason why is, partially, because of Roger Corman, who was an executive producer of the film. And I've wanted to watch some of Corman's movies. It's just that I haven't really came across a whole lot of them, save for maybe one, which I'll get to later at some point.

Now the reason why I wanted to watch this film is because I read the synopsis on the back of the DVD case, and it just sounds so corny and stupid that it actually might be really cool. Essentially, some principal takes over the school and tries to turn it into a totalitarian dictatorship. Which causes some kids of this high school to basically rebel against her and they actually get the Ramones to help with this little rebellion against her with rock music.

Believe me, guys, this movie sounds incredibly stupid and paper thin, but considering this movie is a rock musical, that in itself is more than enough to sell me on this movie. So, I'm hoping for it to be good. I'm hoping that the songs here are also gonna be really good. I don't know if they will be or not, but that's what I'm here to find out. And the only way I'm gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Rock 'n' Roll High School".

8 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a dumb question here. So Riff has served the most detentions out of everyone at her high school. While I'm not gonna ask how many detentions exactly she's served, how has she not been expelled yet? I'm only asking because her comment her serving the most detentions can be seen as somewhat questionable. Just wanted to ask is all.

8 minutes later

OK, that might have been one of the longest, yet greatest throws I've seen involving a paper airplane. That was really cool.

8 minutes later

O...K, you know, I never actually thought I would see a mouse explode upon hearing loud rock music. I thought Principal Togar was just being a colossal retard, but I didn't think her experiment there would actually work. I guess you learn something new every day, don't ya?

10 minutes later

You know, guys, out of all the things I was expecting from this movie, Clint Howard making out with a blowup doll was certainly not one of them. I get that it's suppose to be some sort of training exercise for Tom to get laid, but it's definitely not working, just based on everything he's tried so far.

5 minutes later

By the way, guys, I probably should mention this now, seeing as how we're nearly halfway into the film already, the music here has been really good so far. I'm really digging the songs in this movie and, so far, there really hasn't been a bad song as of yet. Hoping it stays that way throughout the rest of the film.

16 minutes later

Wow, they actually followed up on that mice joke I mentioned earlier. I didn't think they were gonna do that here, but it actually was really funny. I'm really digging the humor in this film, guys, it's been really good so far.

9 minutes later

OK, this is a little bit weird. Out of all the songs I've heard in this movie, this is the first one that includes subtitles. I'm not totally sure *why* there are subtitles for this particular song to be here. I mean, it's not like the film has any bad sound-mixing or anything. Perhaps maybe it's just a stylistic choice here, but I still have to ask why for *this* song in particular? Mind you, it doesn't ruin the song or anything, it's just something I'm kinda curious about is all.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Rock 'n' Roll High School". And man, what a way to end the movie! Let me go ahead and shut the film off now...OK. Where to start here...? Well, I can let you guys know right off the bat that this movie is really enjoyable. On both a musical front and for it's really campy story.

Now seeing as how as the word 'musical' is in the title, I have to start off differently here by talking about the music first. And in case you also couldn't tell by the title, the music here is nothing but rock music. And I said earlier that I hadn't found a bad song at the time that I was still watching the movie, and that statement still holds true. Every song in this movie is really good. Whether it's from the Ramones or any of our high schoolers, all of the songs here are very solid. And I gotta say, for someone who's not as familiar with 70's rock music, this is definitely some really good stuff. I'm more of a fan of 80's rock music, personally speaking, but I still really enjoyed what was here. In fact, I may have to look up some more songs from the Ramones because what they played here has gotten me interested in listening to more of their music.

While we're on the subject, I want to talk about subtitles for just a moment here. Now earlier, I mentioned that the movie decided to use subtitles for one of their songs. And I thought that was an odd choice, seeing as how all of their songs were really easy to listen to, lyrics wise, so I found it strange that they would include subtitles for one of their songs. Well, the moment that I brought that up, they suddenly stopped using subtitles for the rest of that particular song. Now again, I don't know if that was just a stylistic choice for that song or not, but it's still really boggles my mind on why exactly they needed to use subtitles, all for that to be dropped a minute later? I mean, if they really wanted to use subtitles for that song, then I wouldn't have had that much of an issue with it than I already do.

But then something interesting happened in their next song. See, during one part of their lyrics, the letters "D U M B" show up on screen, which is exactly what the lyrics for the Ramones song was as they spelled it out to the crowd. And then the same lyrics happened again as they repeated it, which comes in the same four letters that I already brought up. Well, while they do show up...they don't do it in the exact order I just spelled it as. See, when the Ramones were spelling out the word 'DUMB' again, the subtitles actually misspell it as 'D M U B'. Which, I thought that was a really bizarre thing that I saw. Because the Ramones clearly spell out the word 'DUMB' twice, yet, on the second time that the subtitles time it with how they spell the word, it's suddenly misspelled. Now I have no idea if that was an actual fuck up, or if that was somehow an inside joke in regards to the song in question. I don't know, but, to me, that just seemed a little convenient for me to consider that as an intentional joke. Now again, it doesn't ruin the song at all, it's just a really odd thing to add subtitles to a movie that didn't necessarily need it, unless if you were watching a foreign movie of sorts.

But otherwise, guys, despite those minor hiccups, like I said, the music here is great. And I would totally say it's worth buying the soundtrack for if you're interested. Now as for the actual writing, well, the writing here is mostly pretty good. In terms of it's humor, this movie is definitely really funny at times. Our dialogue is, admittedly, more on the cheesy side, but it still has a lot of charm to it that makes it rather lovable. And also, since this movie was made in 1979, I kinda sort of expected this. I mean, it isn't like with modern movies nowadays where they use a lot more, for the lack of better term, "realistic" dialogue. But then again, like I said, this was made in 1979, so it's possible that this sort of dialogue was used quite a bit back then. At least according to this movie anyway. I could be totally mistaken there, but still. The dialogue here is cheesy and stupid as hell. But like I said, this kind of dialogue makes the whole movie add so much charm to an already cheesy movie.

If there any real negatives I could comment on in terms of writing, it would have to be the subplot involving Tom trying to get laid. This is honestly the weakest part of the writing, partially because, it's not really that interesting, nor is it really all that funny either. And I don't mean it's not funny by "problematic" standards that retards like to use as an excuse when criticizing an older movie, I mean that the writing is just plainly not as funny as it could've been. Plus also, it really doesn't go anywhere either. Since he ends up with a different girl that they kinda hint at way early on in the movie rather than the one who he's actually trying to aim for, Riff. I feel like if they had focused more on the other aspect of the movie, with Riff trying to score tickets to see the Ramones, I feel like the film could've flowed slightly better.

Now I could also mention Riff's plan to buy tickets to the Ramones in person, where she takes 3 days off from school just so she could be the first person to wait in line and buy tickets for the concert. Basically, guys, Riff's way of saying that she couldn't make it to school is that she had one of her friends come in with a notice saying that her Mom died, which was the first day in which it happened. Then on the second day, her friend comes in with Riff's second notice, to which it said that her Dad died. And then the third excuse is that her goldfish died. Which is pretty laughable, because, somehow, one of Togar's hall monitor lackeys already has the goldfish in hand. Which would normally raise a bunch of questions, mainly, how exactly did they know that Riff had a goldfish to begin with? And also, Togar could've easily just confirmed her suspicions about Riff being absent from school with these sudden notices by calling Riff's home and seeing whether or not one of her parents is indeed dead or not.

However, I also have to remind you guys that this is movie still a comedy in the end, and the movie doesn't really take itself too seriously anyways. So I wasn't expecting anything complex here about a movie involving the Ramones and it being a musical comedy to begin with. So I can easily say that the writing here is really good for the standards set for this kind of movie. The characters here are all likable in their own ways. Whether it's Principal Tagor being a somewhat cartoonish villain, to any of the high schoolers themselves, or even the Ramones, all of them are likable in their own ways, and it makes the movie that much more interesting.

Now, as for the acting, most of it is actually pretty good. I didn't really notice anybody in particular phoning it in. I can't really judge the Ramones, since I'm pretty sure that this is their first time being in a movie to begin with. But I will say that Clint Howard actually turns in a halfway decent showing. The last time I covered anything that involved him was way back when I reviewed "Santa With Muscles". And to make a long story short, he sucked ass in that movie. But I will say that, again, he actually turns in a halfway decent showing here. It's not amazing by any stretch, but it's certainly a hell of a lot better than what he was doing in "Santa With Muscles". So yeah, I can give him a little bit credit here for actually trying. As for everyone else, they also turned in a rather good showing, so I can at least say that the acting here is certainly pretty good.

Special effects here are also pretty good. Granted, there's not a whole lot here, but for the few things I noticed, such as the paper airplane gag, or any of the pyrotechnics in this movie, they work really well here. So does the costuming. The costuming in this movie is great. Mind you, not a lot of it is totally special here, but it does give off the impression that these people are in high school. There's even a couple of rat costumes that I noticed that genuinely gave me a good laugh. It sorta ties in to what I hinted at when I was watching the movie, but it's a lot funnier in context, trust me. So yeah, special effects here are pretty good overall.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is also lit really well. The sound-mixing is also very competent. And the music, well, I've already talked about that way early on, and I already gave you guys my thoughts on that subject. So overall, the technical work here is really good.

And on that note, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Rock 'n' High School"? Oh yes, guys, most certainly. Especially if you're a fan of old school rock music. Granted, I'm not sure how aware you are of the Ramones, but, like I said, if you're a fan old school rock music, and you want a watch a movie that involves a group from that time period, then this movie will most certainly make you a fan of them. If you're a fan of musicals, then this one is definitely worth checking out. And also, if you're a fan of comedy musicals, then fuck yeah, you're gonna adore this thing. This movie is really fucking good, guys, and I plan on watching it again at some point myself. So yeah, I can totally recommend "Rock 'n' High School" to you guys, it's that good. And speaking of musicals, I'm gonna go and watch another one right now. And I think I'm gonna go and watch a rock opera in the form of "Repo: The Genetic Opera". So I know what I'm gonna be doing once I get done typing this review up.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Little Monsters

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a film from 1989. That movie is "Little Monsters".

Now, unlike previous films that I've covered for this series which involved movies from my childhood that I hadn't seen before, this is one of the movies that I have no recollection of at all. Now that's partially because this movie was a little before my time. But also, even when I was growing up, I had never heard about this movie before, nor have I ever watched it on any TV station that would air it. That said, I decided to finally get around to watching it since one of my local video stores was selling it for dirt cheap.

The only things I can tell you guys, going into this movie, is that it stars a young Fred Savage, and it also co-stars Howie Mandell, who you see in that creepy-looking blue makeup of his on the cover. Seriously, guys, that makeup on him is the stuff of nightmares. At least from the cover that I picked for this Reaction & Review anyway. I'm hoping maybe that I'll eventually get use to it once he appears in the film and all.

Really, guys, I have nothing else to add here. I'm just gonna hope for this movie to be decent. I'm not sure if it will be or not, but I'll never truly know that answer unless I shut up and push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Little Monsters".

4 minutes later

Did he seriously just put onion on a peanut butter sandwich before eating it? Who the fuck does that!? I figured he would just do the classic PB&J, but no, apparently, he puts onion on his sandwich. That is just fucking disgusting, dude.

7 minutes later

I swear to god, guys, the acting from Eric's child actor is fucking terrible. Mind you, the acting hasn't really been good so far, but his acting is probably the worst right now. And I'm probably gonna have to put up with his shitty acting for...fuck, an hour and a half?! This might be actually suck, guys.

16 minutes later

So, guys, not only is the makeup on Howie Mandell still creepy-looking. But he's also kind of annoying, too. That's not really a good first impression to make, I'll just say that right now.

10 minutes later

So, Maurice's home world is basically just a bunch of wooden stairs and pillars, along with some dark lighting. Gonna be honest, guys, it looks kinda dreary and somewhat shit, really. I would probably want out of there as soon as possible. But perhaps that's just me.

2 minutes later

OK, I had to assume there was a little bit more to this world, as, apparently, I'm now seeing kids playing arcade games and it's filled with, I'm going to assume is suppose to be Christmas lights of sorts. But wait a minute, I thought Maurice stated earlier that bright lights harm him. So why are there so many lights hanging around this area if he's suppose to be negatively affected by them? Guys, this movie's already running into a bit of a logic issue, and I have a feeling that the movie's not going to answer that whatsoever.

4 minutes later

You know, guys, a thought just occurred to me. So Brian and Maurice are just in other people's houses pulling off stupid pranks while the people are asleep. So what happens if, by some chance, that the sun comes up and Brian's unable to get home via under the bed? That means he's going to be in a whole world of trouble because of all the stupid crap he's been doing. And the worst part about it for him is that if he tries to pull the argument of 'well, it was Maurice's fault' I guarantee you that Brian's gonna end up being in a mental institution because of that. I understand the movie probably would not go *that* far, but I would be shocked if any part of that scenario I brought up doesn't happen.

2 minutes later

Oh, and I just saw Maurice pissing inside one of the kids empty bottle of apple juice to disguise it as apple juice. Thankfully, we don't actually see him do this, as his back was turned a moment ago. But still, that is probably even more disgusting than Brian putting onion in his peanut butter sandwich. Granted, it's creative...but still, what the fuck, man?

10 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe I just found my favorite character in this entire movie so far. I believe his name is Snake, and he's already more likable than any other character I've found in this entire movie, and that includes Maurice, too.

19 minutes later

You know what, guys? This movie started off kinda shit, and it hasn't exactly gotten any better, especially now that we're in the third act of the movie. Granted, there are a couple of things here and there that I sorta like, but I'll talk about all that later once I get to reviewing this movie. Just wanted to let you guys know that ahead of time.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Little Monsters". Thank god, it's over. I'm gonna shut the movie off now...OK. By the way, I should make one quick correction on my part. The villain's name isn't Snake, it's Snik. Granted, it's kind of a stupid name, but that's the least of this movie's problems. Still, I got his name wrong and I just wanted to correct it is all. But yeah, "Little Monsters"...it certainly was something. It's not really a good something, but at least it was something sorta unique. And also really kinda boring, too.

Let's just get right into this film here and talk a little more about it. Let's start with writing. Writing in this movie is just kinda shit and very stupid. Now yes, I know there are some people who grew up watching this movie as part of their childhood and still love it to this day. And that's totally cool. I know some people are very protective when it comes to movies that people grew up with in their childhood. I, myself, am no different from this. I love of plenty of movies that I grew up with and, even though I'm an adult now, I can see some of them are flawed in their own ways, be it minor or major. However, being that this series focuses on movies I haven't seen before, I go into them with fresh eyes and I see if they're good or not, and also, whether or not they're entertaining. And I will say that, while this movie does have a couple of rather interesting moments, those moments are few and far between., and the content of the writing isn't really all that better.

To start with, the story here borders on being plotless. There really is not much of a story here, other than our main character, Brian, befriending a blue monster by the name of Maurice. And from there, they end up doing stupid stuff like pulling pranks in various kids homes and...that's really kinda it. By the way, I should quickly mention something I brought up earlier. That whole theory I brought up in regards to Brian being discovered by somebody in another person's house when the monsters aren't around never actually happens. It didn't even happen during a point where Maurice and his friends go to scare a little baby, and Brian thinks that this is too cruel and just runs out of the house through the front door. I'm surprised nobody saw him and called the police for intruding inside their private property. I knew that him going into a mental institution was never going to happen. However, I remember a scene in "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" where they actually had a mental institution for ugly people. It was dark, yes, but also really funny. And this movie, while it does have swearing and all that, it really doesn't make the film that much better.

One thing that really kinda bothered me is something that they brought up once and never brings it up again. So, when Brian's little brother, Eric, goes up to the attic and asks Brian if he can borrow a flashlight, he discovers that Brian is not actually in his bed. And the next day at school, he tells one of his friends about this and thought it was also strange. Yet for some reason, Eric *never* tells any of this to his parents. Which, you would think that would raise some kind of alarms, because then it would start to get the parents to come together after they were arguing and find out what's going on with Brian and where he's been disappearing to. Like I said, it's brought up one time in the entire movie and never gets brought up again afterwards. I would think that, maybe, this would be a moment where, like I said, his parents would come together after they were arguing with each other. I bring this up because they admit to their sons later on that they're separating and need some time off. However, that whole thing gets dropped later on because the parents don't really play any role here other than arguing with one another.

Almost all of our characters in this movie are shallow, vapid, or really annoying. The latter award goes to Maurice because he's all "wacky" and "goofy", and he almost never shuts the fuck up. I swear to you, guys, he talks so much in his movie that I ended up kinda hating him by the time the movie was finished. And I still don't feel any different towards him even as I'm typing this review up. He's seriously one of the most annoying characters I've come across in a movie in a *long* time. Almost every other character is, like I said, very shallow and vapid. Brian is more of delinquent kid than anything else. The girl he has a crush on named Kiersten is sort of a nerd who's into studying how plants grow. Every other kid I could write off as, well, forgetful, in terms of personality. The only character who I actually liked was Snik, our villain of the movie. Well, one of them, anyway. There was somebody who was incredibly forgetful, other than having some really cool makeup effects. Other than that, our characters are not really memorable, unless you can actually tolerate how annoying Maurice is.

So yeah, guys, the writing in this movie is really not that good at all. Like I said, it feels very plotless and doesn't really have much going for it's story. OK, granted, I wasn't really expecting some kind of deep plot or anything, but I was kinda sort of expecting a little bit more out of it. Unfortunately, like I said, there's not much going on here. The acting is also a very mixed bag. Some actors do okay, like our two main cast members, Fred Savage and Howie Mandell. Even though I still think Howie's character was annoying as fuck, at least Howie was able to kinda make it sorta work. However, then we have our supporting cast, such as our young child actors, specifically, the ones who plays Kiersten and Eric. These two were fucking horrible. Kiersten's actress doesn't know how to emote properly, and Eric's actor was even worse because it almost sounded like he was trying to overact at times, and it sounded like shit. He was the worst actor in the entire movie, and I hope he took acting lessons since then, otherwise, he should not be anywhere near a camera again until he's improved. I don't know if he has since the time that this movie was released, or if he just never got called again to do anything else. Either way, I'm not missing a whole lot if this performance from him is anything to go off by. So yeah, acting in this movie is teetering on being a mixed bag at best.

Special effects are, actually, one of the few positives I can definitely give this movie. More specifically, it's for the costuming and makeup effects. These are some of the more creative effects I have seen in quite a while. At least, for something that came out during the late 80's anyway. Every piece of costuming here is unique, it's creative, and it really does give you an idea of what this world underneath children's beds looks like. I really liked it, aside from the actual world itself looking really dark and dreary. I almost wanted to say that it kinda reminded me of the dream world from "Nightmare On Elm Street", but at least there, that can be it's own creative thing, depending on what you do with it. This dream world, though, could've looked better. At least, to me, it could've. The makeup effects are also really good, too. I'll even include Howie Mandell's creepy-looking blue makeup, because at least it looks rather unique. Not great, mind you, but at least it's something different for Mr. Mandell.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is pretty good, even with the darkly lit areas in the world where Maurice lives. It didn't really get in the way of the movie very much, so at least there's that. Sound-mix here is fine. The music here, for both score and soundtrack, are great. The score was done by David Newman, and he's always done some pretty good scores for a lot of movies from the late 80's leading into the 90's. The selection of songs for the soundtrack is also really good, too. You have songs from people like Billie Hughes, Frankie Paul, and the Paladins, just to name a few. So yes, I can definitely give the music here a rather big positive.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Little Monsters"? If you grew up with it as a piece from your childhood, or if you know somebody that's associated with children in some way, and you really want to show this to them, then sure. I can probably recommend it in that aspect. However, as I mentioned before, I didn't grow up with this movie. And being that this was my first time watching it, I was curious to see if it had held up or not. And for me...it didn't. Like I said earlier, the story here feels very plotless, the characters are not very interesting at all, save for one, personally speaking. And even though the special effects and soundtrack were really good, that's not really enough to make me want to keep watching it on multiple viewings. It's aged rather poorly, and I don't find it really charming either, as the movie itself is also really boring at times. So I can say, again, with confidence that I won't be rewatching this movie anytime soon. Now, with that being said, I'm gonna go and watch a better movie, and it's something that I briefly referenced earlier. I'm gonna go and watch "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" again. While that movie isn't necessarily good either, at least it holds up better than this movie actually did. So yeah, I'm gonna go and do that next after I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Tekkonkinkreet

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering an animated film from 2006. That movie is "Tekkonkinkreet".

Now, I heard about this movie thanks to watching the previews for it every time that I would watch "Paprika". And it looked really interesting, too. So when I finally found a copy of it at one of my local video stores, I immediately jumped on it and bought a copy of it for myself.

Now admittedly, I don't really know anything about the plot, but I am aware that this thing is based off a manga from the early to mid 90's. So if this movie is any good, I may attempt to check out the manga at some point. Though I'm curious to see what the movie can do on it's standards. So I may as well just shut up, so I can push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Tekkonkinkreet".

8 minutes later

Okay, so our two main characters, Black and White, are chasing after Dusk and Dawn. And while all this is happening, our characters are just either standing on top of moving cars or, in the case of Dusk and Dawn, they're just hanging on the front of a bus. And, aside from one person, nobody else is telling them to get off their cars! Is that, like, a normal thing that just happens in Treasure Town? I mean, OK, I know Black and White are delinquents and they do whatever they want, but I figured at least they would have some common sense to not do this while on moving vehicles. But perhaps that's just me.

20 minutes later

Sorry, guys, if I'm not saying very much at the moment, but I'm really getting sucked into the story here. It's really fascinating so far and I'm hoping it continues to stay this way.

20 minutes later

Well...for the first time in this whole movie, Black has finally taken actual damage from this giant purple dude. And also White, too. But still, I'm curious to see how exactly they're gonna fight back against this dude. Especially knowing that there's 3 of them out in the whole town, too.

9 minutes later

Well, guys, I can comment on one thing, so far. The animation in this movie, specifically the ones where it looks as if it was colored and drawn with crayons, looks really fucking beautiful. I'm really impressed with how good it looks. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

20 minutes later

Once more, guys, I'm really sorry that I'm not saying very much about the movie itself. Like I said, I've been sucked into the story itself and it is so damn compelling that I'm really interested in seeing where it's going to go next.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Tekkonkinkreet". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So...where to even begin here? Well, you guys maybe already caught on that I didn't have a whole lot to say about the movie itself. Now sometimes when I do that, it could mean either the movie's really good or it's just boring me to tears to where I just want it end as soon as possible. And in this case, it's most definitely the former. Because this movie is really good. I cannot begin to tell you guys how much I enjoyed this movie.

So, let's dive right into this thing and see what I can tell you guys without giving away spoilers here. Let's start with writing. Now, as I mentioned way early on, this movie is based on a manga I have never read. So obviously, I can't make any comparisons between that and the film. However, as is a staple of mine, I always like to go into any sort of adaptation on it's own standards. And if this movie is anything like the manga, I'm definitely going to try and track down the manga at some point. Because, one, this movie motivated me in wanted to check it out in the first place. And two, I'm also really curious as to how much this movie was able to work with in under two hours, because I'm mostly positive that there was a lot more in the manga that wasn't in the film.

But anyway, setting aside that, on it's own standards, the writing here is really strong. And from the moment that the movie starts, you're going to be sucked into it's atmosphere, mostly centered around Treasure Town, which is the town where our two main characters, Black and White, are mostly scavenging around trying to survive, since they're orphans. They don't have any real parents, who I'm going to assume are dead. The movie doesn't flat out state that, but it is implied by an old man that Black and White befriend. But still, this is where the movie mostly shines as it mostly focuses on the relationship between the two characters. Both of them are deep and fleshed and you're going to care about them as the movie goes on.

And what's interesting about both of them is that they represent the yin and yang between each other. With Black, he's somewhat more of a cynical character. He doesn't really show much emotion and it's prevalent later on when he slowly starts to go down the deep end by embracing the darkness within him. And with White, it's obviously more on the lighter side as it shows more of his childhood innocence. And there are some moments where Black will tell White to think of happy thoughts. And that's probably because he doesn't want White to become exactly like him. It's a really interesting dynamic and it makes for very compelling writing.

If I had to pinpoint any sorta negatives about the writing, I would say there are two, and they're both really minor. One of them has to do with the ending. Not so much before the ending credits show up, but before that, where we see Black trying to be consumed by his own inner darkness. The whole scene involving that could be interpreted as just being kind of art-housey, where it's all weird and artsy. It's sorta like the ending to season 2 of "Tokyo Ghoul", where the whole thing felt like pure art house bullshit and it soured my interest in that series. This movie, however, handles that much better, although it could potentially be seen by someone as just being too artsy for it's own good. The other minor nitpick involves a subplot about a yakuza who's working for the villain of the movie who's trying to build an amusement park in the center of Treasure Town. And really, the only thing I kinda didn't like about it is it's ending. It just ends somewhat abruptly as he's trying to get out of town with his pregnant wife, and you don't get to see the aftermath of what happens. Now perhaps it might be explained more in the manga, but still, I would've like to have seen some sort of closure to that subplot rather than just ending with no actual followup.

But aside from that, guys, the writing here is still really strong. Like I mentioned earlier, it's gonna suck you in the moment the movie starts up. It's very compelling and you're gonna be hooked into it for the entirety of it's near 2 hour run. The writing is just really that good. Now as for the acting, I opted to watch the official English dub for this movie, and I will say that it's really good, too. A lot of the actors that they got here are veteran voice actors such as Scott Menville, who voices Black, Yuri Lowenthal, Keith Silverstein, and Steve Blum, who I've criticized in the past for just phoning in the same showing he's done throughout most of his voice acting career, but he actually does turn in a halfway decent showing. Then again, he only voices minor characters in this film, so that, to me, is a huge plus.

The only voice that you're probably going to have mixed feelings on is White's voice. See, White's voice actor sounds a little bit flat. Now what I mean by that is that White's voice sounds a little bit on the monotone side. Now I understand that it is rather difficult to replicate a child's voice, especially when you're voicing a character who's suppose to resemble a child, so when I first heard that voice, I wasn't really sure if I was going to either get use it as the film went on or I would wind up kinda hating it. Well thankfully, I don't have to worry about hating, because White's voice actor definitely improves later as the film goes on. The voice has more of a range thanks to the facial expressions of the animation involving White. So White's voice actor definitely had a lot of room to improve and took advantage of it. So yeah, I can definitely say that the English dub here is really good and I'm happy that I stuck with it. Now, of course, if you're not into English dubs, there is an option to where you can switch to it's original Japanese audio. Or if you're feeling different, you could also watch it with it's Spanish audio instead. So hey, at least there's more than two options on how to watch the movie. Still though, I would say the English dub here is really solid.

Animation here in this movie is amazing. The first thing that's gonna catch your attention is Treasure Town itself, with all of it's detail and aesthetics with the color palettes. If this is were a real location, I would love to visit it, aside from the occasional yakuza baggage, but still. The entirety of Treasure Town looks great. They even implement CG here that blends in with the traditional hand drawn animation. It looks fantastic, and it's one of the better animated films that I've seen which utilizes both mediums of 2D and 3D animation very well. The dream sequences that happen a lot of from White's point of view looks great, too. I'm referring to the ones that look like it might've been drawn from a crayon. It most likely had to have been colored pencils, instead. Which, either way, they still look really good, even though at times they can be a little bit on the artsy side. Still though, they look great here. Character designs here are also really good, too, as they all have their own unique design. Which is great to see. So overall, the animation here is fantastic.

Sound-mixing here is mixed fine. The music here, mostly in terms of it's score, is also really good, too. It was done by a group called Plaid, which only consists of two people, and the music that they do here is really fucking good. All of it sounds unique and, much like the animation in this movie, it brings it's own unique vibe to this film that helps make it stand out. It is great music here, and it's one of the best things about this movie, right next to it's awesome animation.

I believe that pretty much sums up what my answer's gonna be, guys. So when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Tekkonkinkreet"? Oh absolutely, guys, this movie is fucking amazing. I would definitely recommend it, especially if you're a fan of anime, or even if you're an animation buff in general, this movie is a treat to watch. Nearly everything about the movie is great, despite a couple of minor nitpicks I had with the film's writing. Even so, I enjoyed this movie immensely, and I'm totally gonna be adding it to my ever growing DVD collection. And speaking of great anime movies, I mentioned at the start of this thing that I discovered this movie thanks to the previews I would always see for it every time I watched "Paprika". And you know what? I'm really kinda in the mood to watch that one again right now. So yeah, I'm gonna go watch "Paprika" after I get done with this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Schizo

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a British psychological horror movie from 1976. That movie is "Schizo".

Now, I'm actually kinda looking forward to watching this movie. Simply because of it's premise where our female lead is being stalked by somebody who killed her mother when she was a kid, and is also being stalked by him as an adult. This might prove to be really interesting and I'm curious to see if the movie will actually do anything good with this premise.

I can also tell you guys two things about this movie that I picked up on from the back of the film's DVD case. The first thing is that this movie promises a twist ending. Which, I'm not sure if that's gonna be a good thing or not, especially since this DVD comes out and advertises it very casually. However, that could just be me nitpicking there. Now the second thing is something that I found a little humorous. According to the synopsis on the DVD case, near the end of it, it says that this movie was so frightening that squeamish theater patrons were promised free smelling salts if they fainted. Which sounds really stupid, but at the same time, I wonder how much of a common practice that was back in the mid 70's. Where if a horror movie was so scary that pussified theater patrons were promised to get free smelling salts if they ever fainted. Maybe that was just a British custom back then for movie theaters in the U.K or something.

Now beyond those two things, I'm really looking forward to watching this movie. I hope that it's really good and I'm hoping that this movie will deliver on it's really interesting premise. I don't know if it will or not, but that's what I'm here to find out. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Schizo".

18 minutes later

So, guys, we're still early into this movie and I can tell you that nothing of interest has happened. I mean literally nothing has happened yet. I'm kinda hoping the movie will pick up sooner rather than later, eventually, but right now, this movie hasn't really given me much to work with at the moment.

18 minutes later

OK, how the hell did that meat cleaver get inside Samantha's cart? There was no indication at any point to where she grabbed it and put it in her cart. It doesn't make any sense. And also, this movie is really starting to drag a little bit. I'm still hoping that it'll pick up soon, because, otherwise, I'm slowly starting to fall asleep from boredom.

20 minutes later

So, guys, I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that we finally have our first kill of the movie from our stalker. At least I think so, the movie never showed his face. But I'm going to assume that it is the same person that has been stalking Samantha. Bad news is that it took almost an hour to get to this point in a movie that has less than an hour left. This film's pacing is just becoming horrible and I'm starting to lose patience by how slow this movie is going.

19 minutes later

OK, that actually is a little bit creepy with this girl's eyes bugging out all wide-eyed like that while also being possessed. It's just a pity that it took the movie this fucking long to finally start getting interesting at this juncture. So really, it's just a case of too little, too late, guys.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Schizo". And apparently, the movie doesn't have any ending credits. It just goes straight to the scene selection on the menu screen. So, I'm gonna go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, about that "twist ending" I mentioned earlier. This movie promised a twist ending and, without spoiling what it is, I'm gonna let you guys know now that it isn't even a twist. And if you want proof, the hint is in the movie's title. And if you still haven't figured it out by the time the movie reveals it's twist, then you probably should get yourself educated on what the definition of the title really means.

So now, let's get into this review here. Let's start with writing. Now if I had a time machine, and if I had a choice on what year I wanted to travel back to, I would go back to 1976 around the same time that this movie was released. I would then ask the theater patrons, the ones who got so "frightened" by this movie and ask them what the hell did they see in this movie that I didn't that was suppose to be scary? Because, I'm gonna tell you guys right now that, outside of a couple of creepy moments, this movie is in no way scary. It is never frightening in the slightest. In fact, it is probably one of the most boring horror movies I have ever seen in a long time. And that's saying a lot because I reviewed another British horror movie not too long ago called "The Godsend", and as bad as that movie was, at least it kinda kept my interest for a bit. This thing, however, was so fucking boring that I almost fell asleep at one point. Which is a terrible thing for a horror movie, because those things aren't meant to be boring! But this thing, somehow, found a way to be boring throughout almost the entirety of it's hour and 50 minute runtime.

In fact, let's start with that, shall we? This movie's pacing goes at a fucking snail's pace. It is so damn slow that it's filled to the brim with so much padding! You could've honestly cut about 20 minutes of filler from this movie that you wouldn't miss a thing. I know I've stated in the past that I don't mind slower paced movies as long as you have somewhere to go with it, but this movie has almost nowhere to go with it's pacing. The kills, in particular, are vastly spaced out. Because, first of all, there's only 4 kills in the entire movie out of it's near two hour runtime. I'll get a little more in depth about the victims later on, but as for how the kills are laid out, the first one doesn't happen until almost an hour into the movie. And then the next one doesn't happen until about 25 minutes later followed by two more after that. It's that poorly paced out, as is the entirety of the movie. Like I said, you could've cut out about 20, probably 25 minutes worth of filler, and you'd have a much better paced movie.

Now, before I get to the victims themselves, I want to touch upon something that I found when I was reading the synopsis on the back of the DVD case for this movie. It says that Samantha's friends are murdered one by one and is convinced that the stalker isn't a stranger. I'm gonna tell you guys right now that out of the 4 people that are killed in this movie, only 2 of them are actually Samantha's friends. Those two people are Leonard, the psychiatrist, and the housekeeper lady. I don't know her name, but I think she's suppose to be her housekeeper or maid. I'm not totally sure which one exactly. Doesn't matter, though, because she's the second to last victim. The other two victims are Joy, who is the housekeeper's daughter and also a psychic, and the stalker. Again, I won't say who it is but that person is also dead. The latter aren't really friends because she barely knew Joy, and the stalker, well, obviously, she has a history with. But yeah, 4 people are dead, in a horror movie that's nearly 2 hours long. And the fact that the first kill doesn't happen until nearly an hour in is just bullshit.

As for the characters themselves, none of them are really all that interesting, and that includes our main character, Samantha Grey. You would think that, with our main character being stalked by this guy, you would find a reason to care for her and hope that she gets out of this scary situation. But no, that doesn't happen, because Samantha's personality has all the personality of burnt toast and her backstory is also equally rather stupid, too. I'm almost tempted to spoil it, seeing as how it's a 50 year old movie and all, but part of me is going to be somewhat nice to it, so I won't do that here. So yeah, all the other characters here aren't very interesting. The only one who I kinda sorta liked was Leonard, because he actually had something resembling an interesting personality. Yeah, he's a little creepy with how he handles women, but that's more personality than almost any other character that this movie had. And the moment that he was killed, my interest slowly started to die off. Though then again, with how boring this movie really is, that wasn't really too hard for this movie to accomplish in the first place.

So, overall, guys, the writing in this movie is just bad. It's worse with the horrendous pacing that you're almost guaranteed to fall asleep with how boring the movie is. Although I'm sorta getting ahead of myself here. Let me back this up a bit so I can talk about acting next. The acting here was actually okay. It wasn't great by any means, but at least most of the actors here tried to work with what they were given. The best actor would have to be Leonard's actor, since it seemed like he was actually having fun with his performance and all. The worst actress would actually have to be the one playing Joy. She sounded terrible, though I think that's mainly for when she has to speak as one of the heads of this "Psychic Brotherhood" for when they're trying to perform a seance. It kinda sorta makes sense in context. Though that's not saying very much. So, besides her, everyone else did okay with script that was given to them. So that's sort of a plus from me.

Special effects, I will say, are actually pretty decent. I'm gonna take a guess here and say that this movie was filmed on a low budget. And for what it is here isn't really too bad. Although I would say that the blood effects can vary because some of it, when viewed up close anyway, actually looks like jelly. And for what little gore is here is not too bad either. The one effect that I actually did think was impressive was when Joy's eyes are bugging out after being possessed. That actually looks really cool and it was one of the only interesting things that happened in this movie for me. So yeah, I can say that, for the most part, the special effects here are decent.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is also pretty good, too. Sound-mixing here is mixed fine. The score here is also decent, too. There's not a whole lot of music to go on, but what little is here does work fine. So, I can say that the technical stuff here is another positive.

Now with all that said, when it comes down it, guys, can I recommend "Schizo"? No. I honestly can't find a reason to recommend this movie to anyone. Really, what's holding me back from actually recommend this movie is the god-awful pacing. It is so bad and so slow that you're gonna be fucking bored with it and you'll potentially fall asleep from trying to watch the whole thing. Like I mentioned earlier, I was almost tempted to fall asleep because the movie is just so fucking boring. Now is it one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen? Fuck no! This movie is nowhere near in contention for that title. So far, the worst movie I've ever seen belongs to "The Item". But then again, I don't think any horror movie is ever gonna be contention to take that movie's title. But still, this movie is still really bad and it's not even scary in the slightest. So no, I can't recommend this movie to anyone. And so far, I've not had a great track record when it comes to British horror movies. That said, I'm gonna go and watch one that actually is pretty good, and is also funny too. I'm gonna go and watch "Stitches" again because I need to watch something better at this point.

So anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.