Reaction & Review | Wings of Desire

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a film from 1987. That movie is "Wings of Desire".

Now, I have a bit of a story about this movie. You see, years ago, I was watching TV late one night and I happened to stumble across this movie on TCM. I'm not exactly sure how far into the movie it was, because I caught it at random. But what I watched looked really fascinating, and I wanted to keep watching more of it. Unfortunately, like I said, I caught it pretty late. And it was about 1 o'clock in the morning when I watched it, so I had to turn it off and get some sleep. And for the longest time, I couldn't remember the title of the movie. I knew it had something to do with angels, but I just could NOT remember the title. And then as time went on, I was slowly remembering bits and pieces about the title. Like, I was remembering something about angels and wings, but my memory still wasn't clicking yet. It took a while longer after that before I finally remembered the actual title of the movie. Now the only problem was trying to find a copy of it, because it was a pretty rare movie to find. I know it was released under the Criterion Collection, but I didn't figure that out until recently, so I didn't get it from them. Plus, the DVD's and Blu-rays that Criterion releases are also pretty steep in their pricing. Thankfully though, I was able to find a different copy of it for about $10. So, I'm hoping it's worth the purchase after I'm done watching this thing.

As for what I know about the movie itself, like I said, I know it has something to do with angels, and that it's directed by a man named Wim Wenders. I also know that this movie was made shortly before the Berlin Wall fell. And if you don't know the story about that, look it up, it's a rather pivotal moment in history and you're bound to find plenty of stories about it online. But getting back to what I know about tonight movie's going in, I also know that the movie stars Bruno Ganz. And I've seen one other movie that he starred in, which was called "Downfall". Which was the story about the last days of Hitler and the Third Reich in the bunker. It's a pretty good movie, though, personally speaking, I thought it ran on a little bit too long for my tastes. But still, I would totally recommend it, especially if you're a history buff. So, knowing that Bruno Ganz stars in this movie, I am totally all for it. Because he was really good in "Downfall", so I have the highest of hopes that he'll pull off something similar in this movie.

I'm hoping that this thing is going to be really good. In fact, I've heard nothing but positive things about this movie. And I'm certainly hoping that what little I watched on TCM all those years ago will be what I experience tonight. But I'm also gonna be a bit cautious because, even though this thing has been massively praised by a lot of people, I also know that it could be just a tedious, dull experience. And that it may not live up to that high amount of praise that it got. I'm certainly hoping that it does, though. And the only way I'm gonna find out how good this movie could possibly be, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Wings of Desire".

17 minutes later

Well, guys, I'm not able to say very much about the movie right now. But what I can say is that I'm really getting sucked into this story already. I'm kinda hoping it's able to stay this way throughout the rest of the movie. And if it doesn't, then I'm gonna be sorely disappointed.

7 minutes later

Wow...guys, that scene there with our angel providing comfort to this stranger was just...beautiful. I wasn't really expecting much from it, but the way it was handled made that small scene great. I'm actually really impressed by that.

20 minutes later

Guys, I'm sorry I haven't been saying very much about the movie itself. But, god damn it, this story is just so fucking good! I'm really curious to see where all of this is going.

6 minutes later

All right, I gotta ask this. A lot of these hats that I'm seeing Peter Falk put on look very similar to each other. I mean, OK, there are a couple of hats that aren't dark as hell, but how the hell would he know about picking which one that makes him look anonymous? Granted, I'm not a hat expert, but, like I said, a lot of them look very similar to each other. I don't think a lot of them are gonna look anonymous if most of them are similar to each other. I understand that what I'm commenting on is all trivial and stupid, but it is something that I kinda wanted to mention.

19 minutes later

OK, I think now is the time to mention this. Now this is, like, the third time that this movie has decided to go in color. Now I'm sure there's a meaning to this, but it is a little bit distracting. Mind you, I am not dumping on this movie, but it is very noticeable, especially when you consider that 90% of the movie has been in black and white. I'm just saying that I'm hoping there's a reason behind this.

19 minutes later

Once more, guys, I'm really sorry that I don't have a lot to say about the movie. I know I should be commenting more about it, but this story is just so good, and so interesting, that I can't take my eyes off it. I'm really loving this movie, guys.

The Review

And the movie ends with a 'To Be Continued'...interesting. Well, I'll ponder on that later. Anyway, guys, that was "Wings of Desire". Let me shut the movie off...OK. Wow...what to start with? Well, I guess, going into it, I had really high hopes. Because when I briefly saw this movie on TV years ago, it really fascinated me. And I was hoping that when I watched it for this series, I was hoping that what I experienced back then was gonna be the same experience I watched tonight. Well, I can honestly say that it definitely lived up to what I watched all those years ago. And it actually turned out even better, now that I've finally gotten a chance to watch it in it's entirety.

Now that I've finally got that introduction out of the way, let's actually talk about the film itself, shall we? And there's no better way to start than with the writing. Our story here is incredibly simple, but yet so good at the same time. So we have these two angels, both played by Bruno Ganz and Otto Sander, observing the people of Berlin as they go about their daily lives. And through the angels perspectives, they're able to hear what they're thinking, whether it's a baby able to see things while being carried by the back from it's parent, or with a guy on a subway train about how he feels that he has been betrayed by his wife and how his parents disowned him, or this storyteller that Cassiel, the angel played by Otto Sander, follows. The storyteller definitely gets a lot of time in this movie, as he's trying to find this city called Potsdamer Platz that he use to be a part of. But anyway, the angels are there to hear what they're thinking. And in some cases, they try to provide comfort to those that are suffering in their lives. I brought it up way early on, but I mentioned the stranger that was on the subway train that felt betrayed by his wife, disowned by his parents, and his children only recognizing him through his stuttering. That scene where Damiel, the angel played by Bruno Ganz, is giving him comfort, is such a touching scene. It's short, and it definitely goes by pretty quickly after that, but the way the movie handled it was so good that it almost left me speechless. As for the plot itself, Damiel is tired of living behind the world as an angel. He wants to live how other people live by doing mundane activities that people do everyday. Whether it's getting a cup of coffee, listening to music at a bar, smoking a cigarette, feeling pain, wanting to come home to a family he would love to have. Those are just a few examples I gave out, but there's a lot that Damiel listed that would be too much to count. Point is, he just wants to live an everyday life like we do. And he also falls in love with a trapeze artist, who definitely has a story of her own that I won't go too much into. And Damiel has to make a decision on whether or not he should break into the mortal world to be with her or stay an angel forever. Now normally, a plot like this shouldn't sound interesting. And by itself, it does sound kinda boring. But I'm gonna tell you, guys, this movie handles this premise so incredibly well that I couldn't take my eyes off where they were going to go next. This movie is going to keep you engaged on where it wants to go and it's damn near addicting to see it play itself out.

That being said, this is going to lead into a bit of a problem for some people. You see, this movie has a VERY slow boil. Meaning that it's not just gonna rush through everything in order to get to it's conclusion. This movie is about 2 hours and 8 minutes long. And it definitely takes it's time to build up it's story. And to some people, they're gonna see this movie as a huge pacing issue. And to an extent, I can understand why you would think that. Because, like I said, this movie really likes to take it's time to build up it's story. And admittedly, there might've been a couple of scenes that they could've trimmed down, such as anything involving the circus. But personally, I didn't mind any of that, because I was too fascinated by where this movie was going that I didn't notice it too much. But it could definitely be seen by others who might see this movie as it being too slow. Another problem I could see is that some people will think that this movie doesn't offer a lot of explanation on certain things. For example, for a long time, I didn't understand why this movie, on certain occasions, will switch from black and white to color. I thought maybe it was some sort of stylistic choice for the movie. And for a while, it kinda bugged me. Well, it wasn't until around an hour and a half into the movie in which they actually sorta clarify the whole black and white/color aspect of the film. I say 'sorta', because they don't come out and tell you what they were trying to do. You actually kinda have to figure it out for yourself in order to understand why some of those scenes were filmed like this. And I really like that this movie doesn't really hold your hand, because it's smart enough to where you can draw your own conclusions. For example, after watching this movie, what I got out of it was that it's a film about appreciating life and about how you want to live it. There is no right or wrong way on how to live that life, because that's an answer only you can discover for yourself. Now I understand that might sound rather philosophical, and that's rare coming from me, but that is what I got after I finished watching it. There might be different ways on how you could interpret this movie and the way it treats it's message on how to live life. But that is just the way I felt about it after watching it.

There are a couple of minor issues that I had with the movie. The first one has to with character names. Now, what do I mean by this? Well, even though our main angel character is named Damiel, I don't think he EVER gets called by that name in this movie. There was one time where Cassiel gets name-dropped, but that was rather late in the film that it just goes by really quickly. The only names that I do know of are Marion and Peter Falk. Marion is the trapeze artist that I mentioned early on that Damiel falls in love with. Her name gets dropped quite a few times in this movie, so I knew who she was rather easily. As with Peter Falk, well, he essentially plays himself in the movie. And throughout it, he's trying to film a movie in Berlin. So it was rather easy to guess who he plays as the moment he enters the film. But Damiel, again, as far I know, never gets called by his name for the entire movie. MAYBE he might've gotten name-dropped once that I missed it somewhere, but if it did, then it must've gone by really quickly. The only time that I actually found out his name was when the credits started to pop up, and that's when I figured out who Bruno Ganz's character name was. So that was something that did kinda bother me a bit. Another thing that kinda made me raise an eyebrow was something that nobody is going to notice, except for me. Because I'm kinda trained on how to catch smaller details. Now, seeing as how we're working with a movie involving angels, you would assume that they're not suppose to have any physical altercation with people and things. Now with people, they kinda work around that by having the physical people feel like they're being touched, but not really, and it does make some sort of sense. But with items, I'm not totally sure. You see, on a couple of occasions, you'll see Damiel pick up items that shouldn't be picked up, being that angels are technically ghosts and all. One item he picks up is a pen from a library. The pen is still there, but he's able to pick it up with no problems. Another item he picks up is either a pebble or a stone from Marion's trailer. I don't know WHY he picks it up, he just sorta does. Now I guess, MAYBE, it's some sort of astral thing where you can pick up an astral version of an item in your hands without actually having to lift it up physically. I don't know, but then again, I'm not a spiritual person, so maybe I'm just putting way too much thought into this than I should.

But aside from that, the writing here is absolutely amazing. Our characters are deep and very fleshed out. And tied into an amazing story like this, it makes the writing shine even more beautifully than it already did. And that is awesome to see. Now, to add on to an amazing story, we also have fantastic acting. Every actor turns in an awesome showing. Everybody here sounds natural, and I feel like these characters have known each other for many, many years. That is an amazing thing to see, because I would usually be able to pick at least one actor here or there that may have phoned it in. But not here. EVERYBODY turns in an awesome showing. Now admittedly, there is a mixture of actors who either speak German or English. The only actors who speak English in this movie are Peter Falk and the people that are filming the movie that he's working on. Most of everyone else speaks German, which makes sense seeing as how this movie was filmed in Berlin and all. Now while I'm not an expert on German acting, I can say that it's still really good. And Bruno Ganz turns in an awesome showing, much like I expected from him after seeing his amazing performance in "Downfall". So yeah, the acting is great from everyone in this movie, and that is awesome to see.

Special effects are pretty good. The most noticeable digital effects are when you get to see the angel wings that form on the back of Damiel at the beginning of the movie. And you do get to see them a few more times in the movie as sort of a scene transition. There is one bit of blood in this movie, which doesn't happen until about pretty late in the film, and it's a very minor effect, too. And while I can't comment much about it, seeing as how it would tie into spoilers, I will say that it was pretty good for the moment that it appeared. Our costuming here is done really well. Most of that involved the circus performers as they are performing their routines in front of small crowds. So overall, the special effects are pretty good in this movie.

Camerawork here is really good. And thankfully, for the first time in 3 movies, I didn't notice any issues involving editing. And thank god I didn't have to bring it up again here. Lighting here is mostly well lit. But, then again, a majority of this movie was filmed in black and white. And most of that looked really good. One bit of it that I really liked was during the last ten minutes of the movie where Cassiel is standing while laying his back on the wall, and you get to see his shadow pop up behind, I think, a German rock group that is performing their song. And I understand that it's probably just typical lighting that no one would mention, but it was something that I thought looked rather cool, so you just have to take it for what it's worth. Music, for the most part, is great. Our score here is fantastic. It really sets up the atmosphere for this movie, and it does it so incredibly well. There is music playing during scenes involving the circus, but nothing about that is ultra memorable. There's also that German rock group that I mentioned a moment ago, and of the three songs that they play, the first one sounded kinda like shit. Now I haven't listened to a whole lot of German rock music, but that first song definitely sounded like shit to me. The other two songs are OK, but they weren't anything amazing. So overall, the music in this movie is really good, save for maybe a song here or there from this German rock group that sounded kinda shitty. At least, to me, it did. Oh, and a bit of a pro-tip for anyone who's looking to get this movie on DVD, make sure you turn on the subtitles first before watching the film. Because I made the mistake of just letting the movie play without turning them on. It was about 2 or 3 minutes into the movie and no subtitles were popping up. So I had to go back and turn on the English subtitles, and thus I was able to understand what the actors were trying to say. It's a minor thing, but it did sorta bug me a bit because I wasn't expecting it coming from this movie. Still though, I would recommend turning on the subtitles, unless you're someone who has mastered the German language.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Wings of Desire"? You bet your ass I can recommend it. This movie is absolutely amazing! I loved just about everything in this movie. Now again, the slow buildup might be seen as a huge turn-off for some people. And if that is the case, you're probably not gonna want to watch this movie. But for everyone else, I whole heartily recommend this movie. I'm also gonna recommend it to anyone who has recently lost a loved one. I know that sounds kinda morbid, but let me try to explain. If you're someone that is religious, and you believe that angels exist, then this movie is an instant recommendation. Because they could be watching over you and providing you with the comfort that you might need to move on with life, and how you want to continue living it. And this movie could provide you with that kind of condolence. Now, if you're someone who's not religious and don't believe in any of that, then obviously, this kind of recommendation is not going to apply to you. But overall, I can definitely recommend this movie. And if you can find it anywhere, pick it up, as long as it's a reasonable price to you. For me, it was well worth the $10 I spent to get it, and I am honored to have this movie in my DVD collection. It is just that awesome. Now...I'm gonna find something else to watch to kinda keep this spiritual theme going. I'm gonna go watch my copy of "A Letter To Momo". Why? Well, because it does involve yokai, and being that they're spirits, I figured why not? So I'm gonna go do that next, and this movie is going to have a very prominent spot on my DVD shelf.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Anna and the Apocalypse

 

Welcome, one and all, to the Reaction & Review "Christmas in July Special". Yes, guys, I decided that I'm gonna be doing another one of these Christmas specials in July, what with it being a holiday and all. And I've found a rather unique movie to cover for this special. It is a British zombie musical from 2017. That movie is "Anna and the Apocalypse".

No, guys, I am not kidding. This movie is literally a zombie musical. I, myself, was kinda surprised by this a little after I discovered it at one of my local video stores last year. And I had originally thought about covering this movie for my "Christmas Special" last year, but I instead chose to do "Bad Santa". And seeing as how I already have my other "Christmas Special" locked in for this year, I decided to cover this movie for my "Christmas in July Special" instead.

Now, when I originally discovered this movie, I had no idea it was going to be a zombie musical. I looked at the cover, read the back of the DVD case, and I thought it was going to be some standard zombie movie. So I was curious and decided to look it up before I bought it. And the first thing the results showed was that it was being advertised as a zombie musical. And that alone peeked my interest, because I don't think I ever came across a zombie musical before. I mean, the closest I ever came to that was when I watched "Dead & Breakfast", but it wasn't entirely a musical. This movie, however, looks to be heading in that direction, and I'm not totally sure if it's gonna be a good thing or not.

Now, mind you, I am still looking forward to watching this thing. I just don't know if the songs are gonna be any good or not. I haven't seen any clips from this movie, so I'm gonna head into this thing completely blind. And the only way I'm gonna find out if the songs in this thing are any good, as well as the actual movie itself, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Anna and the Apocalypse".

8 minutes later

So, guys, we're up to our first song here, and...it kinda sucks. I think it's partially because the singing isn't that great. Well, at least from Anna it's not great. I'm certainly hoping for her singing to get better though. Because hey, it's only the first song. So maybe her singing will get better as the movie goes along.

8 minutes later

You know, guys, I am willing to grant that this song here is pretty good. It's just that, unfortunately, it's sorta reminding me of something that I would hear in the "High School Musical" movies. That's a rather bad sign when a song like this is reminding you of shit that you would hear from a "High School Musical" movie. Mind you, it's not a real negative against the movie, but it is something that I felt needed to be addressed.

14 minutes later

O...K. Well, that's certainly a creative way to take off a zombie's head. Never thought a see-saw would do the trick, but hey, it certainly worked. And it was pretty cool, too.

9 minutes later

All right, you know what? That kill would've been really cool, if the editing during that sequence wasn't so poor. Seriously, guys, that scene was just terribly edited.

11 minutes later

OK, this guy's high notes are REALLY fucking terrible. I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but every time this guy attempts to sing a high note, it sounds really fucking bad. And it's sorta ruining a pretty decent song here, too. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

15 minutes later

You know, guys, it's kinda funny. The best and worst song in this movie is sung by our villain. I know that it sounds like it doesn't make any sense, but I'll explain my point when I eventually review this thing.

13 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe I have some good news for once. We actually have a rather good song here. It's kind of a pity that it took this long to finally find a decent song out of this entire musical. But hey, it's better late than ever, right?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Anna and the Apocalypse". And we end the movie with some rather cute ending credits...interesting. Let's just shut that off...OK. Well, um...I'm gonna say this right now. I am really disappointed with this movie. I really thought that this being a zombie musical would make this movie more interesting, but...it really isn't.

Well, seeing as how this movie was advertised as a musical, I may as well just start with the music. When I heard that this movie was going to be a zombie musical, I really thought that it was going take that concept and turn it into something interesting and cool. And I know that music is very preferential to a lot of people. But I'm gonna tell you, guys, for me, out of every song in this movie, there's only one good song that I actually kinda liked. And it was the last song that was sung by Anna and Savage. The only downside to this is that the song is very short and only lasts about a minute. And I would've counted the other song that featured Nick and his buddies, when Anna and her friends first encounter them, but that gets kneecapped by the fact that Nick's high pitched singing, at certain points, is fucking garbage. To a point where it actually kinda ruined the song for me. The only other song I can make mention of is the one sung solely by our villain Savage. And I said that it was the best and worst out of this entire movie. Well, the reason why I said that is because the song he sings actually does have some energy to it. The problem, though, is that his singing does not match the style of the song itself. And that, to me, is why I considered it to be the best and worst song at the time. Well, the best song, as I just stated, was the very last song of the movie. The worst song would probably have to be this one rap number that a couple of guys in penguin suits were dancing too. Not totally sure if they were singing it or not, but, either way, the song was fucking terrible. In fact, I will even go so far as to say that almost none of these songs have any real energy to them. No song here is going to stick out at you as being completely memorable. Which is pretty sad to say, because you want to have songs that are going to catch the viewers interest, especially if you're doing a musical. And as much as I didn't care about "Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure", at least there, there were at least 2 or 3 songs that were sorta catchy. The problem with that movie was that there were too many songs that brought the story down to a screeching halt. This movie, however, only has one good song, and it doesn't last very long at all. In fact, by the time that I upload this review, I'm not gonna remember ANY of the songs from this movie, because they're just so fucking forgetful. That is actually really depressing, because musicals would normally have a song here or there that would be catchy and memorable, but...no. Not this movie. This movie has some of the most forgettable songs in any musical that I've ever watched! That's not something I say very often about musicals, but this movie has certainly accomplished that feat.

Now, setting aside the music and the songs, the writing itself is a very standard, by the numbers, zombie movie. Nothing about this plot is anything new or different. And for some people that are into zombie films, they're not gonna mind that. Because I know a lot of people that are into zombie flicks. But you see, guys, the reason why I was interested in checking out this movie was for the songs. And with how that ended up turning out, it actually takes a standard zombie movie like this and makes it into a really bland, uninspired movie. Where it does nothing new with the zombie mythos, and it does the same boring shit that we've seen in plenty of zombie movies. I'm gonna tell you guys something. One of the reasons why I loved "Dead & Breakfast" so much was the fact that it didn't do the same bullshit that we've seen in other zombie flicks. It actually did something different where it didn't follow the same stereotypical route in how zombies function. Without going too much into it, because you can go read my full review for that movie somewhere in my R&R file, one of our main characters had a wooden box, and they put bodies parts into it, thus turning them into controlled zombies. THAT was a creative take on the zombie mythos. This movie is doing nothing like that. It takes the very standard route of if you get bitten by a zombie, then it's pretty much game over for you. And I would probably not mind any of that, if the characters were, in any way, memorable. Which they aren't. All of our characters are completely shallow and devoid of personality. Anna wants to go to Australia so that she can get away from her controlling father. John is her best friend. Nick is, or was, her boyfriend. It's a little complicated story there. We have this blonde chick named Steph, who ends up either getting dropped off or abandoned by her parents so that they could take off for Mexico. Again, it's a bit of a weird story there. And Savage is, I guess, sort of a nutcase because he really wants to be the head of this high school that Anna and her friends go to. And honestly, he was the only character that had some level of charm. But, then again, that's not saying very much, because nutcases don't really have much depth to begin with. And then there's Anna's father, who Anna and her friends try to get to, so that way they can escape with as many survivors as they can. I'm tempted to spoil this, but I'm not going to, on the off chance that you want to go and see this movie for yourself. But the way that they handle this twist about Anna's father ends up becoming rather stupid. And I didn't give a fuck about it when it was revealed. In fact, I didn't care about any of these characters, because, as I just stated, they don't really have any depth or personality to them. And by the time that some of these characters end up being bitten by the zombies, I didn't feel a thing for any of them. And that's usually a rather bad sign when a zombie movie fails to make you care about characters that you're suppose to get behind.

So yeah, the writing in this movie is just the same boring shit that we've seen in plenty of other zombie films. The only thing that is different is that this is a musical. But with the songs that they have here, almost all of them end up being completely forgettable. I could also see this movie trying to aim for humor, but it doesn't really work at all. One bit I can remember is when two of our male characters are riffing on famous celebrities that may or may not have gotten bitten by zombies. One of them they mention is Justin Bieber. Funny, because I could've sworn that by 2014 or 2015, people stopped giving a shit about Justin Bieber all together. They also mention Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man and Taylor Swift. Which tells me either they were desperate for relevant celebrities at the time, or they were trying to be as hipster as possible. I don't know, and I particularly don't care. Point is, the humor is most definitely a misfire here. And any other bits that I could mention are just as forgettable as the songs in this movie. And I'll try to stop talking about the forgettable songs, because I've said plenty about that as is. As for the acting, well, you know what? Even though some of the singing from these actors wasn't that great, the acting is actually pretty good. As far as I could tell, nobody here really phoned it in, and I couldn't really spot a bad actor that wasn't really trying. And that's something I can definitely give the actors in this movie for. The acting is certainly on point, especially when they were given this kind of script. So, you know what? Props to all of the actors for giving it their all for this movie. You guys certainly did a pretty good job with what you were given to do for this movie.

I will also say that the special effects in this thing are really good. I have no idea what the budget is on this thing, because I couldn't find any information on the film's budget, but I'm going to take a guess here and say that it was filmed on a pretty low budget. And for what it is, the special effects looked pretty good. The zombie makeup is rather good. Blood and gore effects are also done very well. I couldn't really tell if there was any CG involved in this film. And I say that, mainly for the questionable blood in, like, one or two shots. But if there were any, then those shots looked OK for what it is. Our sets here are pretty good, too. So overall, the special effects are pretty good for a low budget film.

Camerawork here is really good, however, there is a scene involving editing that I need to talk about. And I just noticed this, but this is the third straight film in a row that I have to bring up the editing. I did NOT plan that when I was typing these reviews, but here we are. Anyway, there's a scene in this movie that was not edited very well. I brought this up earlier, but it bears repeating. There's a scene in this movie where one of the kills takes place at a bowling alley. One of our zombies is stalking, I think, John (not totally sure if it was him or not), and Steph ends up rolling a bowling ball at the zombie's feet, knocking it to the ground. Now, here's where the editing comes into play. You see, after the zombie is knocked off it's feet, it falls to the ground on the bowling lane. And then it gets it's head chopped off by a pinsetter that's used to knock off the bowling pins from their positions. To which it's head gets rolled back to where the bowling balls are brought back to the players. Now, that sounds really creative...except the zombie was nowhere NEAR the position to which the pinsetter was at. Because it was, like, 5 feet away from where the pinsetter was at. I could maybe understand if the zombie was knocked off it's feet to a point where it either rolled to or flew under the pinsetter, but it wasn't. Like I said, the zombie fell straight to the ground after the bowling ball knocked it off it's feet. And it was nowhere near to where the pinsetter was at, as it was coming down for the kill. And it takes a cool scene on paper, to which the editing ruins it because the zombie was nowhere near to where it was suppose to be at. So...yeah, a cool kill was ruined thanks to a bit of shoddy editing. But beyond that, like I said, the camerawork is really good. The lighting is really good. I've already touched upon the music, so there's no need to talk about it again. And the sound-mix is also good. So really, minus the music, the technical stuff works fine.

But unfortunately, the one thing I was really looking forward to in this movie ended up being the weakest part of the entire movie. And on that note, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Anna and the Apocalypse"? Personally, no. Because the songs in this movie were mostly shit. And the fact that this movie is just another been there, done that, zombie apocalypse film. However, there might be those of you who might end up really liking the songs in this movie. So if you're a fan of bullshit like "High School Musical", and you love zombie films, then shit, you're gonna absolutely adore this movie. However, if you have taste in musicals, and you're tired of the same shit you've seen in plenty of other zombie films, then you're gonna want to skip this. This movie does nothing new with it's story or the zombie mythos. And I probably would not have minded that if the songs and the characters were, in any way, interesting. However, that's not the case here. And because of how truly disappointing this movie turned out to be, there is no way in hell I'm gonna be adding this movie to my list of Christmas movies that I want to watch every year during that time. And that's really sad to say, because I wanted to like this movie. I really did. Because the idea of this movie being a zombie musical sounded really cool and really interesting. However...as has been the case with this series, cool ideas don't make for good movies. And this movie is no exception. Now...I'm gonna go watch a good musical. And I've got plenty of choices here. Let's see...I got "Repo! The Genetic Opera", "Rock-A-Doodle", "James and the Giant Peach", "The Brave Little Toaster"...I've got plenty of options, so I'm gonna go pick one of those to watch. Because I need to watch a better musical after dealing with the forgettable bullshit that was in this movie.

Anyway, guys, we come to the close of this year's "Christmas in July Special" for Reaction & Review. Well...that certainly ruined my Christmas spirit. I'm hoping for my actual "Christmas Special" to turn out better, but we'll just have to wait and see when we come to it. But anyway, guys, take care, and have an early Merry Christmas. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Suburban Commando

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a family film from 1991. That movie is "Suburban Commando".

Now, for those of you who may not happened to remember, last year around this time of month, I reviewed a Christmas movie known as "Santa with Muscles". Which was a movie that starred professional wrestler Hulk Hogan, and it was my very first "Christmas in July Special". And just a bit of a heads up, I will be doing another "Christmas in July Special" next week. But anyway, in my review for "Santa with Muscles", I stated that I hadn't seen any movies starring Hulk Hogan, not counting the various cameos he had in other movies. One of the movies I mentioned that I hadn't seen yet was "Suburban Commando". And I was lucky enough to find this movie at a local mini-mall for about $10. So I bought it, and I thought to myself that if I'm, somehow, still doing this series, I may review a movie starring Hulk Hogan every July. Because...why not? Make it a weird tradition of sorts.

But anyway, as for what I know about tonight's movie is, honestly, not a whole lot. I know that it's a family film, it came out in 1991, and that it stars Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, and Shelley Duvall. And the plot, from what I gathered on the back, is about some space warrior, AKA Hulk Hogan, landing on a suburban area on Earth, and he somehow ends up with this family. Beyond that, I don't know a damn thing about this movie. I'm kinda hoping for it to be decent, but I really don't know if it's going to be. So the only way I'm gonna find out if this thing is any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Suburban Commando".

8 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this opening song here...really sucks. Like, this is some REALLY shitty hip-hop music. Granted, I understand that early 90's hip-hop music really sucked, but this song is just proving why it sucked in the first place.

5 minutes later

Well, if there's one thing I can say that Ramsey and I have in common is that we both despise disco music. I'm beginning to like Hogan's character in this movie already, guys.

6 minutes later

Wait, so Charlie's wife just converted an entire shed into a rentable apartment. When the fuck did she have time to do that? It must've been, like, an ENTIRE day while Charlie was out at work trying to impress his boss, so it must've been quick fucking work! And also, don't you think it's something that Jenny should've consulted with her husband BEFORE she turned the shed into an apartment room? I don't know. Perhaps, maybe, it's just me that's really curious about this.

8 minutes later

All right, guys, it is official. I love Ramsey in this movie. The way he just tossed that newspaper at that paperboy and calling him a smartass in return just makes Hogan's character all the more dickish. And, to me, it makes his character that much more charming.

12 minutes later

You know, guys, I've never seen anybody play "After Burner" in the arcades that intensely before. To a point where even the arcade machine just gives up. Granted, I haven't been to a whole lot of arcades, especially ones where I see people play "After Burner", but I'm somewhat curious to know if any "After Burner" arcade machine back in 1991 just gives up by waving a white flag? It's just something I'm wondering about.

15 minutes later

All right, I have a question, and it's kind of a serious one. So just a moment ago, we saw those burglars using these freeze guns while trying to rob this bank. Where exactly did they get the freeze guns? Did they, like, get them after the bounty hunters landed on Earth? And if so, where exactly were the bounty hunters after they landed on Earth? Were they just walking around trying to find Ramsey this entire time, thus leaving their ship open for the burglars to steal some freeze guns from it? I'm really curious about this now, and it's beginning to bug me a little bit.

11 minutes later

You know, I was actually gonna hold this off until I get to the review, but seeing Hulk Hogan battle The Undertaker in this movie kinda makes me wish that these two actually worked with rocket boots in their wrestling matches. It definitely would've made their matches much more interesting.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Suburban Commando". Let me shut the movie off...OK. Well...that was certainly an interesting movie, to say the least. What to start with?

Well, first off, before I get into the film itself, I need to talk about why someone, like myself, loves these sorts of stupid cheesy films. And the big reason, in fact, the only reason as to why I like these sorts of films is the fact that it knows that it's not trying to take itself too seriously. Now, that's not to say that there aren't serious moments in this movie. But it knows that, overall, it's just there to be a stupid cheesy flick, to a point where it actually makes the film much more lovable. And unlike bullshit such as "Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad" and "Godmonster of Indian Flats", where those movies ended up taking themselves so seriously, this movie does not do that. And it actually benefits the movie in a very positive way. Now, mind you, not everyone is going to be into stupid cheesy family films. And I totally understand why they wouldn't be. Because if you're expecting more quality into your family films, this movie's, honestly, not going to deliver much of that. There are other problems with this movie, which I'll get into a bit, that might also turn you away from ever watching this thing. But I will say, again, that I myself really like these kinds of films where it knows what it wants to be. And I will also say that it's not trying to aim for the tried and true title of "so bad, it's good". Then again, ANY movie that intentionally tries to aim for that title is already setting themselves up for failure. Because then, you have already made a piece of shit before it ever got lifted off the ground. But anyway, as I just stated, this movie wasn't aiming for that. While it may not have the best quality of writing here, it still has enough to where you can get a laugh out of it and even find something that's just considered charming to watch.

And speaking of the writing, I may as well get into it right now. The writing here is OK, but there's one thing that will definitely be considered a negative to a lot of people. And that is that there's not much of a plot here. Because for, like, the first 50 minutes or so, there really isn't much of a story. It starts with Shep Ramsey, which is Hulk Hogan's character in this movie, trying to capture our villain, General Suitor, while rescuing the President of some planet. But he ends up failing to do either of those things, so he blows up the ship that General Suitor was the head of before escaping. And afterwards, he gets a call from his superior that because he failed his mission, he suggests that Ramsey take a vacation to relax. And Ramsey, being an idiot, ends up smashing his controls, to which he forces himself to crash land on Earth. So he ends up living with this family, after he finds out that there's an apartment that Charlie's wife had converted from his shed. I'm still trying to figure out how exactly his wife was able to do all this in just one day, while he's out trying to impress his boss, in hopes that he'll get a raise? That kinda struck me as a bit of an issue, but I'm not going to complain about it too much. And once Shep's settled in with the Wilcox's, that's where the story pretty much comes to a stop. Because throughout most of this entire movie, it's just Shep trying to get accustomed to our way of life, while trying to wait for his ship to get recharged. And for many people, this could be seen as a problem. Because, like I said, the first 50 minutes of this movie doesn't really have much of a story, outside of what I just mentioned. And because of this, the pacing is definitely glacial here. Now, I've often talked about pacing in movies in the past, especially in how they can make or break your movie. And to many people that watch this movie, they will more than likely see it as a deal breaker. Because you want to see the story pick up and get interesting. But because this movie has a rather slow pace, it's not going to pick up, at least until the bounty hunters arrive on Earth thanks to Christopher Lloyd's character, Charlie, tinkering around with Ramsey's gadgets and weapons. Which, that in turn, causes them to be traceable, thus is how the bounty hunters are able to track where Ramsey had landed. So yes, the pacing in this movie is pretty glacial. But honestly, at least for me, this is one of those rare instances where the slow pacing is something that I can overlook. And the reason why I can overlook it is due to the fact that we have Shep just trying to get use to our way of life and how we live it.

And I may as well just jump into the characters. The two characters that are going to help elevate this movie are both played by our main stars, Hulk Hogan and Christopher Lloyd. Hulk Hogan's character, Ramsey, is just such a lovable dickhead when he needs to be. And it actually does make sense, because since he's trying to get use to how we live, he's not gonna understand a lot of things. For example, the funniest bit in the movie, at least for me, is when a paperboy is throwing newspapers at people's front doors. And when Jenny, which is Shelly Duvall's character, tries to explain things to him about how things work, Shep throws a newspaper back at the paperboy and calls him a smartass while the kid fell into some bushes. It's funnier than how I described it, but that is an example. In fact, I will say that the humor in this movie, in a lot of areas, is really funny. However, there are some bits where the pacing actually does kinda hinder the movie a bit. For example, there's a scene in this movie where the bounty hunters, sometime after they land on Earth, are at a drive thru at some burger joint. As some dude was talking in some lame ass surfer accent through an intercom, one of the bounty hunters ends up shooting the intercom, and that pretty much ends the scene. I get that it was suppose to be aiming for humor, but that scene was entirely pointless. Another bit has to do with a running gag where Ramsey ends up meeting a mime, who's just doing his own shtick. And he meets this mime three different times in the movie. The first time you see it is genuinely really funny. The second time would've been fine, if there wasn't an obvious hiccup in editing which I'll get to in a bit. And then there's the last bit, which is really short, but doesn't end up going anywhere. So, even though I am being a bit lenient with the pacing in this movie, I will say that there are some bits of it where it can definitely slow the movie down a bit. But aside from that, the humor is definitely where this movie shines. Not all of it is going to be funny, but it still works really well for the most part. Going back to the characters, because I kinda jumped around that topic, the other one I want to make mention of is Christopher Lloyd's character, Charlie Wilcox. He's basically this wimpy architect that tries to impress his boss in order to try and get a raise. And while all of that is fine, it's when he has to team up with Ramsey that really gets this story going. Since he IS the one who unintentionally lets the bounty hunters know where Shep's located, so that they can try to destroy him. And that's where these two characters shine very well together. As for everyone else, I could say that Shelly Duvall's character is rather bland. In fact, she and Charlie's kids are BARELY in the movie, so I couldn't tell you anything about them. The villains are also pretty one dimensional. But for a movie like this, I'm willing to give it a pass.

So honestly, the writing in this movie is OK at best. But it's really gonna come down to how much you can tolerate the rather non-existent story throughout a good chunk of the film. For me, I was able to overlook it, but it can definitely be seen as an issue for others. Now, as for the acting, it ranges a bit. I can say that Hulk Hogan's acting in this movie is pretty much on par with what I saw from "Santa with Muscles". I wouldn't necessarily say it's better or worse than what was shown there, but it's decent for what it is. Christopher Lloyd, on occasions, will ham up his performance like he's done in other movies. And that's perfectly fine, but the one actor who hams it up the most is William Ball as General Suitor. He is the definition of how to ham up his performance in this movie. To which, it can definitely be seen as either laughably bad or absolutely hilarious. It definitely ranges from those two kinds of acting. But there's two other actors I have to make mention of. One of them is Jack Elam. I talked about him before way back in my review of "The Villain", but I'll briefly mention it again here. He played the character of Philips from "Rio Lobo". And much like with "The Villain", he plays a minor role in this movie where he plays a retired Colonel. He only has about 2 or 3 scenes in this movie, and he's mentions something to Shep where it gets used as a plot device later on. Aside from that, he's not in the movie very much. But I will say that when I saw his name in the opening credits, it surprised me, and I was curious to see what role he was going to play. It wasn't much, but it was sorta cool to see him in this movie. The other actor I want to make mention of is Mark Calaway. Fans of professional wrestling will come to know him as The Undertaker. As do I, as well, seeing as how I'm one of the very, VERY few people that still likes to stick to kayfabe. But anyway, The Undertaker is in this movie, and he has one line of dialogue that threw me off slightly. And it's not the fact that he had dialogue, but with what voice they gave him. I'm not going to spoil it, because it genuinely is really funny. But I have to wonder if that was intentional or not? Because if it was, then it makes it all the more funnier. But I'm wondering how exactly the scene would've been played out if they used his actual voice? Then again, seeing as how this was around a time when The Undertaker made his debut in the WWF, I'm not totally sure if it was intended for him to use his actual voice or not. I don't know, but, honestly, it doesn't really matter. Point is, the fact that he was in this movie, and the voice that they gave him, made it all the more funnier for me. So overall, the acting here is decent, but none of it is great.

Special effects in this movie are actually really good. Especially knowing that this thing came out in 1991, I am genuinely impressed with how good they actually looked. We have shots of lasers being fired, which is standard stuff, but it still looked pretty good. There is one bit of it that I thought looked amazing. And it involves the character of General Suitor. I am not going to spoil too much, because the movie pretty much gives away what we know about General Suitor. And if you don't figure it out for yourself by the time the movie gets to it's climax, then that's kinda your fault for not picking it up sooner. But anyway, the special effects involving General Suitor looked great during those moments. Costuming here is pretty good, too. Overall, for a movie that came out in 1991, the special effects are really good. And that's something I'm definitely going to praise the movie on.

Camerawork is pretty good, but there's one bit in editing that I have to bring up. It's a minor bit, but it can be seen as being a bit lazy on the filmmakers part. So, I brought up the running gag involving the mime. And the second time you see Ramsey interacting with the mime is where the editing got a bit lazy. So, Ramsey ends up meeting this mime again, and thinks to himself that he needs help. So he gives the mime a lift up and throws him towards a glass ceiling. Now, when you first see Ramsey do this, Ramsey is standing on the left side of the screen. And then he moves towards the middle of the camera to get a good position in order to toss him. Now, this would've been fine...if the camera showed the mime getting tossed upwards. Except here, it still focuses on the back of Hogan. And then, all of sudden in the next shot, he's on the right side of the screen. Which tells me that someone got a bit lazy in the editing department and didn't bother fix that bit. Mind you, everything else involving editing is good, but that one bit of it during the second mime bit could've been fixed if it didn't solely focus on Hogan's back. But anyway, camerawork here is still pretty good. Lighting here is lit well. The sound-mix is fine. Music is kinda all over the place. There is a bit of it where it will play Christmas music when Ramsey and Charlie are first at the bank. Then there was the bit of disco music that plays on a couple of occasions, which totally sucked. And then there's that god-awful hip-hop song that played at the beginning of the movie, which sounded terrible even for early 90's hip-hop. Aside from that, the score here is perfectly fine, but the soundtrack could've been better.

Ultimately, guys, with all that being said, can I recommend "Suburban Commando"? I'm willing to say yes, if you're able to overlook the noticeable pacing problems that this movie has. If you're not, then you might as well just skip this. Also, if you don't like cheesy stupid films, then you're definitely gonna want to pass on this. But if you're able to look past all of that, then what you have is a pretty decent family film. The humor is mostly funny, and the characters are very likable. I can probably recommend this to children as well, especially if they're fans of Hulk Hogan and they watch wrestling. It's mostly a rather harmless family film that most people are gonna get into, unless if you're not a fan of the stuff that I just mentioned. As for myself, I was really looking forward to watching it, and it definitely didn't disappoint me. I was a bit skeptical at first, seeing as how I spent $10 to get it, but I can say that it was definitely worth the $10. However, I would probably recommend that you get this movie cheap if you're able to find it. I'm not totally sure it would be worth $10 to many other people, but it should be fairly cheap, if you're able to locate it. I'm just happy that I'm able to own a copy of this myself. And it will definitely have a spot on my DVD shelf. Now...as for myself, well...seeing as how I saw Jack Elam's name during the opening credits, I kinda want to go and watch "Rio Lobo" again. It's one of my personal favorite western movies, so I'm gonna go do that after I'm done putting this review together.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Godmonster of Indian Flats

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a western horror movie from 1973. That movie is "Godmonster of Indian Flats".

Now, I recently discovered this movie at one of my locals video stores that I go to every other week. And I found this movie sitting there on the top shelf. I read the title, and the little subtitle that was under it which read "WANTED! Have you seen this sheep?" And I was curious to find out what the hell this was even about. So, I read the back, and I can tell you everything I know about it right here.

From what I gathered, the plot is about an 8-foot tall sheep monster that escapes from a laboratory and wreaks havoc across this countryside in Nevada. And our heroes have to capture it before it continues to wreak more havoc. At least, I'm going to assume that's what happens here. I won't know for sure until I start watching the movie myself. What also peaks my interest is a warning label they have on the back, which reads as follows. "WARNING: This program contains nudity and really goofy monsters!". Which, by itself, sounds like it's gonna be a really corny, stupid film. But when they pluralized the word 'monsters', does that mean that there's going to be more than one monster in this movie? I'm not totally sure, but I am rather curious to see for myself.

What also reinforces my theory about this being a really corny, stupid film is something else I found out about this movie. This film, apparently, was featured on an episode of RiffTrax. For those who don't know, RiffTrax is a studio that is run by the former stars of "Mystery Science Theater". And they have done a ton of commentaries on a lot of films. Basically, it's the same kind of commentary you would find on an episode of "Mystery Science Theater". The only difference is that they aren't just limited to low budget films, educational shorts, etc. I've mostly seen clips from their RiffTrax commentaries, and they are pretty funny for the most part.

So, with that in mind, I'm hoping for this movie to be interesting. You'll note that I said "interesting" and not "good", especially considering that this thing was featured on RiffTrax. But I still want it to be interesting on a fun, cheesy, stupid level. I'm just hoping it's not gonna force itself to be "so bad, it's good". But the only way I'm gonna find out how interesting this movie can possibly be, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Godmonster of Indian Flats".

8 minutes later

Wait a second here. So, this guy's money was secretly pick-pocketed by this woman. And everybody is basically telling him off because he's drunk and because he accused of her stealing his money. Is no one actually gonna check to see if this woman actually HAS the money on her? Because, last time I checked, she stole $200 from him, and I don't think that's money that can be easily overlooked! You would think the sheriff, who's also at this bar, mind you, would actually do something and maybe search her outfit to see if she actually has it. It would take less than a minute, and then problem solved! I honestly thought they would've utilized some common sense, but I guess, maybe, that didn't exist in Nevada back in 1973.

3 minutes later

O...K. What the fuck is going on here? Seriously, what the fuck is happening?! I see birds, and sheep coming towards Eddie, and he's freaking out. Seriously, I can't tell what's going on in this scene! I guess, maybe, Eddie was hallucinating, but again, I couldn't you guys if that was really the case or not. That scene made no god damn sense!

14 minutes later

OK, was that suppose to be an attempt at a jump scare? If it was, then that was fucking pathetic. It might've been unintentional, but it was still pathetic.

3 minutes later

Wait, so what I assumed was suppose to be Eddie hallucinating, actually was just a vision he saw? And that he saw the sky burning, and gold dust, and sheep running towards him, and that, somehow, explains how he ended up with that weird embryo we saw earlier? That's...kinda stupid. Granted, at least the movie tried to explain it, but it still doesn't make any real sense.

9 minutes later

So, the sheriff's dog has been shot...even though there was NO indication that his dog got shot. And it's probably because the editing in this scene is terrible. Guys, I'm REALLY trying to find anything interesting out of this movie, and I haven't even gotten that yet. This movie is slowly becoming unwatchable guys.

14 minutes later

All right, guys, I gotta ask this. Now, last I checked, this movie was about an 8-foot tall sheep monster roaming around Nevada. When the hell are we actually going to see this fucking thing? I mean, we've seen glimpses of this monster slowly becoming alive in this laboratory. Can we ACTUALLY see it move around in wider pastures? We're over 50 minutes into this stupid thing and nothing the fuck of interest has happened! I'm genuinely hoping that the next 40 minutes is gonna get interesting when this sheep monster is eventually unleashed, but I feel like it's just not going to.

20 minutes later

Well, guys, I WAS gonna make a comment about how the lighting in that shot was so poor, but now the sun has finally decided to come up. And a little rapidly, too, I might add. Still though, I'm not real happy about how this movie's turning out. And I honestly can't wait for it to be done.

The Review

Thank fucking god it's over. Well, guys, that was "Godmonster of Indian Flats". That ending was complete and utter shit. Let me shut this thing off...OK. I am...just stunned, guys. I am stunned that a movie with a premise like this ends up turning into...whatever the fuck this movie turned out to be. Dead lord, um...what the fuck do I even start with?

I guess I should start with writing. I am convinced that this movie was meant to be something completely different. I have a feeling that, when this movie's script was being written, it was meant to be something completely different that had nothing to do with our sheep monster. By the way, that warning label I brought up earlier? The one about it containing nudity and really goofy monsters? Well, neither of those end up happening. I can't even recall a scene where it contained such nudity to begin with. The closest I can think of is when one of our characters, Barnstable, is in jail, and he has his shirt off. That's it. Everything else is fucking tame as shit. And I'm saying it's tame, even by the standards of 1973. And as for the "goofy monsters"....yeah, that pluralization of the word 'monsters' is a fucking lie, because there are no other monsters outside of that sheep monster that's advertised on the front cover of your fucking movie! Unless if you really want to count the people that worked on this movie as monsters, but that's just me stretching that theory entirely. By the way, I love the fact that, even though this movie is suppose to be selling you on the point that this movie is about an 8-foot tall sheep monster roaming around the outskirts of Nevada, you barely see the fucking thing until the last 20 minutes of the fucking movie. Which leaves me more convinced that this movie, I believe, was never meant to be about this sheep monster. I believe it has to do with our other plot involving Barnstable trying to buy real estate from our villain, I guess, Silverdale. And I'm only guessing he's a villain, because the movie doesn't really establish this all that well. I'll get more into this subplot in a bit, but what leaves me baffled is the fact that this movie actually took itself a little bit seriously with it's story. Which, I don't know WHY you would do that. I genuinely thought that this movie was gonna be a bit more lenient and silly with it's premise. But the very fact that it took itself seriously actually ruins this movie. Not just the fact that you're working with an 8-foot tall sheep monster, but the fact that you focus on an entirely DIFFERENT subplot that has nothing to with our sheep monster, tells me all the more that this movie was meant to be it's own thing. But someone in the film-making process decided "Hey, you know what? This story is not that interesting, so let's add in some bullshit about a sheep monster to make it more interesting. We're not gonna show you MUCH of it, but at least it'll be there to make it a little more interesting". Mind you, I'm just theorizing about bullshit, but I honestly believe that this story just got crammed in with something else and tried to make sense with it. And it totally doesn't work in the process.

Now earlier, I mentioned that this thing was a western horror movie. Well, I caught a glimpse of the back of the DVD case, and this thing claims that it's mixing science fiction, satire, and politics. Well, they definitely nailed the science fiction part of it, because we get scenes involving the sheep monster being tested at Clemens' laboratory. As for satire, well, I honestly couldn't tell you what the hell they were trying to satirize. I guess, MAYBE, they were trying to satirize the goofiness of monster movies, but that's honestly just a guess, really. And as for politics, I guess the ending had something to do with it, even though it made no fucking sense. That, or it might've involved our other plot involving Barnstable trying to buy real estate. And the reason why, I think, it might've had to do with politics is because Barnstable is black, and the mayor is racist. At least, according to the back of the DVD case. I couldn't recall an instance in this movie where they mentioned Barnstable's skin color. But hey, maybe it was mentioned somewhere, and I must've missed it, because that's how boring this fucking movie was. So anyway, most of this movie involves our only black character, Barnstable, trying to buy real estate from our mayor, Charles Silverdale. But Silverdale refuses, and throughout most of this entire movie, him and his partner, Philip, are trying to get the townspeople to turn against Barnstable, so that he will go away and not bother buying real estate from them anymore. And you know what? This would've been perfectly fine...if it were it's own movie. But it's not. Because, as I stated quite a number of times earlier, mixing it in with our premise involving the sheep monster actually ruins the entire pacing of this movie. Which, I guess there's no way around it if I keep delaying this topic. The pacing in this movie is absolutely horrible. Because, like I said earlier, you BARELY see this fucking sheep monster up until the last 20 minutes of the film. And even then, it's not that interesting. I mean, the few goofy bits that this monster does is actually rather disappointing. The only thing I found kinda amusing was when these kids are having a picnic, and you just see the sheep monster walking towards them without them noticing it. But even though it was amusing, I didn't even grin at it. I just looked at it and went "Well, that was certainly something". But nothing else beyond that is considered interesting. And I know I've kept beating this horse again and again, but if this movie actually focused on this sheep, and cut out the bullshit involving our mayor trying to lynch Barnstable out of town, then this would've been a MUCH better movie. But because it's here, and because it's so poorly paced, it damn near kills the entire movie and what it was originally trying to work with.

In fact, do you want to know how bad the pacing really is in this movie? Well, aside from the fact that we have this subplot in here, we also have tons of padding. One instance I can think of is when during the beginning of the movie, Eddie won about $200 at a casino. And after he wins that money, he heads over to a bar and is just hanging out. One of the women beside him steals the money from his pocket, and he accuses her of stealing it. Everyone else backs her up because they think he's drunk and she's a woman, so therefore ALL women are innocent. Mind you, the fucking sheriff and one of the policemen were there. So you would think that they would take the common sense route and search the woman's clothes for his $200. Well, guess what? They don't do that. Instead, they, and a couple of others, drag Eddie out of the bar and throw him out. And that entire subplot involving his $200 ends and never gets resolved. And then we have the other thing I mentioned. So, at one point during the tourist festival, Branstable was busy aiming his gun at some glass bottles that he was shooting at. And at one point, the sheriff decides to lower his dog to the ground. So what comes of this? Well, Barnstable ends up "shooting" the dog. And you'll find out why I put the quotations for that word in a moment. So anyway, Barnstable ends up accidentally shooting the dog, and that almost gets the entire town to go against him. And then, to add to the horrible pacing of this movie, we have an ENTIRE sequence dedicated to the funeral of the sheriff's dog. And this shit goes absolutely nowhere for two big reasons. One, it brings the entire movie down to a screeching halt. Which, again, could be attributed to the entire subplot, but I'm not gonna bring that up again. And two, big spoiler in case you care, the dog didn't actually die. It was pretending to play dead so that the sheriff and his cronies can have a reason to get Barnstable out of town. The funny thing about this is that you don't actually get to SEE the dog in the coffin. Why? Well, after the funeral was over, they admitted that the dog faked it's own death and they sent it to another state so that someone else could take care of it. This scene served NO purpose whatsoever. And, like I said, it brought the entire movie down to a screeching halt. And it makes a poorly paced film even worse, especially when you have scenes, like the ones I mentioned earlier, go NOWHERE.

So yeah, the pacing is absolutely horrible, and the writing is fucking shit. And the very fact that a premise like this gets stitched together involving what was originally SUPPOSE to be the purpose for this film, is just a fucking disgrace in and of itself. That is just horrible, guys. Now, with that said, what about the acting? Well, honestly, the acting is not that bad. I could say that the acting from Professor Clemens and Mariposa are fucking wooden as shit, but that's honestly the only instances of stilted acting that I came across. Everyone else, honestly, did OK. It's not great, mind you, but it certainly could've been much worse. So, the acting here is OK for what it is.

The only thing involving costuming I can talk about is the sheep monster. Oh boy, um...what do I even say about it? Well, I would say that it looks stupid as hell, and it totally is, but...there's something about it I kinda like. Now, the one thing you have to take into consideration is that this thing was filmed on a rather low budget. So, we're not expecting miracles when it comes to special effects and costuming, for example. And while I will say, again, that the sheep costume looks absolutely stupid, there's just something about the costume that gives off that cheesy, stupid look that I was expecting involving an 8-foot tall sheep monster. I certainly wish it did a whole lot more in this movie, but for what little we get to see, it looks OK. At least, OK for cheesy, stupid monster costumes such as this. There's not really much here involving special effects outside of that embryo that we get to see when Eddie first gets a hold of it, and an instance of blood on Barnstable's hand. But aside from that, special effects are just kinda there, really.

Camerawork here is OK, but the editing is shit. And there are two instances I want to bring up involving it. One of them involves that dream sequence I reacted to WAY early on in the movie. The one where Eddie was telling his girlfriend about. Where it involved sheep coming after him, birds, fire, and gold dust. Well...I should mention that the dream Eddie was talking about to his girlfriend, there was no fire or gold dust in that sequence whatsoever. Plus, the whole way that dream sequence was edited looked like fucking shit. Nothing about that dream sequence made sense in the slightest. But the other one I want to make mention of is something else I brought up. So, as I made mention earlier, Barnstable was shooting at glass bottles. And when the dog was told to lie down, Barnstable shoots from his gun. And the dog ends up getting "shot". Well, this would've been believable...if we actually got to see WHERE the bullet ended up. Because after Barnstable fires his gun, it cuts to the bottles, and there was no sign of a bullet anywhere. And it, somehow, ends with people gathering around the dog because it got "shot". Two questions I want to bring up. One, where exactly did the bullet hit the dog? I know he really didn't shoot the dog, but it would've made sense to know where the dog ended up getting shot at, even if it was a lie. Two, where did the bullet end up REALLY hitting? Because if it obviously didn't shoot the dog, then it must've hit something, right? Or it just might've flew past the bottles and it ended up somewhere where we couldn't find it. No matter how you look at it, the editing during that sequence was terrible. Lighting here is also an issue in one scene. And it's during the part where the officers are gathered together after the sheep monster escapes. The lighting in that scene was so dark that I couldn't tell what the fuck was going on. It also didn't help the fact that when it does focus on the sheep monster, the movie looked liked it suddenly fast forwarded itself to where it becomes daylight again. And the comparisons between the lighting during that shot are like, well...night and day. Unintentional pun aside, the lighting for everything else is OK. Sound-mix here is decent. The score is shit. A lot of it just sounds really fucking terrible, and most of it is just fucking noise, so I really couldn't find anything here in terms of the score that is considered decent. So, the music totally sucks in this movie.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Godmonster of Indian Flats"? No. Hell no. There is no way I can recommend this, unless if you, maybe, watched it with the RiffTrax commentary. It might be funnier that way. But to watch it by yourself...no. There's no way I can recommend it on that end. I am extremely disappointed that a movie like this, especially involving a goofy, stupid sheep monster, ended up turning like shit. It could've been better, and by all rights SHOULD'VE been better. But with what it is, and how it got stitched together with some bullshit plot involving some guy trying to buy real estate, is not interesting. At least, not interesting when combined with our sheep monster plot. If we had gotten more stupid bullshit involving our sheep monster, then this would've been a campy, stupid movie that would've been a lot of fun. But it's not. And the fact that it actually took itself seriously is what also kills this movie for me. I wanted to like this thing. I really did. I wasn't expecting it to be good, but I wanted it to be fun. However, all the fun was stripped out of this movie. And what I got was a boring pile of shit. And that is REALLY disappointing to say the least. Now...seeing as how it's the day after the 4th of July, and I haven't watched "Independence Day" yet this year, I'm gonna go watch my DVD copy of "Independence Day". Because I need to watch something that's cheesy and stupid, but makes me feel proud to be an American, dammit! So, I'm gonna go do that...and this piece of shit movie can go flock itself for all I care.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.