Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Reaction & Review | Vegas in Space

 Amazon.com: Vegas in Space: Barton, Matthew, Champagne, Connie, Crone,  Daniel, Fischer, Ramona, Fish, Doris, Galster, Arturo, Gates, Pearl E., Kay  (III), Susan, Kincaid (II), Sandelle, Lay, Freida, Lee, Ida, Naslund, Lori,  Pace,

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a sci-fi comedy from 1991. That movie is "Vegas in Space".

The only thing I do know about this movie is that it was put out by Troma. And I've seen only two other films from them, both of which I covered for this series. The first was "Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies", which was, surprisingly, really good. And the other movie was "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.", which turned out to be one of my favorite superhero comedies of all time. And, thanks to those two movies, I have grown massively fond over this indie film studio, and I always want to see what else they have in store.

Now, as for tonight's movie, I don't know much else about it. I know that it has something to do with a planet that is solely occupied by women, and there's something involving a jewel heist. And I know it's, as I've stated, a sci-fi comedy. So...outside of those several details, I don't know much else about this movie. And honestly, I'm not really sure if this thing is going to be any good. But you know what? I did remember back when I covered "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.", and I went into that movie with low expectations. And it surprised me by being pretty damn good. So, even though I'm gonna do the same thing with "Vegas in Space", I'm hoping for it to pull out something similar with my low expectations.

But, then again, I'm also prepared for this thing to really suck. However, I still want this movie to, at least, be interesting. And the only way I'm going to find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Vegas in Space".

2 minutes later

Well, guys, I can say that this opening song here is amazing. I'm certainly hoping that this is a good sign of things come.

5 minutes later

Wait a second here. So, this weirdo's plan on how to get on this planet that's inhabited by women is by taking a bunch gender reversal pills, so that they can turn into women. I understand he said that they should save pills so that they can turn back into men after their mission is done, but don't you think that this is something that you should really think about BEFORE taking on this mission? You know, at least consider the side effects of what'll happen after you do take these pills that transforms your gender? I understand that it sounds trivial, and stupid, but I hope that this blue dude has this all thought out. Otherwise, this plan sounds really fucking stupid.

2 minutes later

And...I was right. This idiot decided to take two of these pills instead of one because...reasons. And he's dead...I think. Either way, I was right. I kinda hope that this movie will get better, but right now, we're off to a little bit of a bad start, guys.

9 minutes later

Well, guys, I can tell you this much, so far. The sets in this movie are fucking dogshit. Like, this is some the cheapest sets I have seen in a movie in a long time. And that's saying a lot, considering that this was put out by Troma, who are known for putting out low budget titles. I thought that they could better with sets, but apparently, I was wrong.

19 minutes later

So, guys, I've been meaning to ask this. When does this movie start to get funny? Because, last time I checked, this movie was being advertised as a comedy. So...can we get something funny to happen soon? Or, barring that, can we, at least, get the acting to be better? Because, I'm gonna tell you guys this now, the acting in this movie is terrible. I'm certainly hoping for either one of those two things I mentioned to get better. But, as of right now, I fear as those I might be asking for too much.

14 minutes later

Guys, I have no clue what the fuck is going on in this scene. Apparently, we're in a dream sequence...I think? Maybe? What the fuck happened to the story we were suppose to be following?! Why is any of this apparent dream sequence happening? Guys, at this point, I just want this fucking movie to end. And I still got over a half an hour of this crap to sit through. This is really gonna suck.

20 minutes later

Why the hell isn't this fucking thing finished yet? Guys, you have no idea how much of an urge I have right now to shut this steaming turd off. This thing has been painfully boring, and I'm just counting down the seconds until this fucking thing ends. There's about less than 15 minutes left, so...I'm almost there, guys.

The Review

Thank Christ, this piece of shit is over. Well, guys, that was "Vegas in Space". I'm gonna shut this horrendous thing off...OK. Dear lord, that was fucking stupid. Well...I can easily say that, out of the three Troma films that I've seen so far, this is quite easily the worst. Now, there definitely will come a time where I'll watch another film from Troma, but I'm certainly hoping that they're not as bad as this thing was. This was just...my God, was it ever fucking terrible.

Let me start with the writing. Specifically, I want to talk about the dialogue. The dialogue in this thing is horrible. Because, first of all, nobody here sounds like a natural person. Nobody talks as if they're in a normal conversation. And there's a reason for that. Almost every character in this movie has the exact same kind of dialogue. Where you could switch out one character's line of dialogue, and you could replace it with somebody else's, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. It's this kind of dialogue that makes nobody here sound unique, or different from anyone else's. The only characters who sound, even slightly, different are our space cadets. Because, before they take these stupid gender swapping pills that turn them into women, at least some of them sound a little different from each other. Granted, that's not saying very much, but at least it was something. But once they turn into women, they also have the exact same problem that everyone else on this planet of women have. They talk no differently than anyone else in this fucking movie. Oh, and, by the way, speaking of the gender swapping pills, I mentioned the part where the space cadets are suppose to hold on to these blue pills so that they could turn back into men after their mission is over. Bit of a spoiler on that, they never turn back into men after they're done with their mission. So, why bother bringing up this tidbit of information, when these space cadets were never going to turn back into men, anyways? My guess is because fuck you, that's why. Either that, or the writers completely forgot about that, and they just didn't fucking care. It doesn't matter, because it wouldn't have made this movie any better. Our characters are all shallow and lifeless, thanks to this samey dialogue that they all get stuck with. Nobody has any real personality, other than they're dressed in drag. And I'm talking about both the male to female space cadets, and everyone else on this planet, which is literally called Clitoris. And no, I'm not kidding about that name either. That is what that planet is called.

As for the story, it goes pretty much nowhere. Apparently, these jewels that the Empress or Queen, or whatever, has are stolen from her. And these jewels are suppose to be what keeps the planet Clitoris from being destroyed. And we're told in this movie that without the jewels, the planet has gone up in crime, murder, tremors, and all this other shit that's been happening. And, outside of a few tremors, we don't really see any of this happen in the movie. There is one scene where that happens. However, that doesn't happen until the end of the movie. And I'm not gonna tell you who, on the very off chance you want to go and see this thing for yourself. But aside from that, everything else looks fine. So, what does it matter if there are a few tremors? The planet looks fine. Oh, but we do get one character who steals stuff. I couldn't remember if she played any big part in this movie or not, because most of these characters look the exact same with their makeup effects. But outside of her, who cares? It's obvious, to me, that this story wasn't meant to be taken seriously. And I would've not minded that, except you have to have some sort of charm and wit to your story. I can recall a couple of movies that I covered for this series that didn't have it's story taken seriously. I'm talking about movies such as "City Hunter" and "The Villain", where they were self aware that their story was either lackluster, or didn't have a serious story to boot. But, you see, the difference between those movies and this one is that, both movies I mentioned had that level of charm and wit. And they also had something happening that made you want to keep watching. This movie, however, doesn't have any of that. This movie is boring, if anything else. And what level of 'humor', and I'm gonna use the term 'humor' as loosely as possible because there wasn't any humor in in this movie, goes completely wasted. Speaking of something happening, we also have a ton of padding in this movie. We have long scenes of characters talking, and almost nothing of value happens with these interactions. Especially with our main character, Tracy Daniels, and Queen Venor, where we have this one scene with them together, and this conversation lasts way too fucking long. It was suppose to establish them trying to figure out who would steal the jewels, but the scene just goes on and on, and it doesn't really go anywhere. Speaking of things that go nowhere, we also have this three minute dream sequence that makes no fucking sense. If it was suppose to be weird and trippy, then that's all this movie accomplished with that sequence. That, and it just wanted to fill in time that didn't need to be there. Going back to Queen Venor for a moment, we also have this drawn out chase sequence involving her and Princess Angel, and, in a couple of shots, it's either slowing down, or speeding up. I'm going to assume that it was suppose to be played up for laughs, but it didn't really do anything for me. And while this chase scene is going on, apparently, our main characters forgot their mission, because they have to play this drag queen show, and their singing was awful. Guys, writing in this movie is terrible, and the long, drawn out padding doesn't help either.

Now, let's talk about the acting. Now, prior to going into this movie, I found out that the entire cast is mainly filled with drag queens. And it certainly shows, because none of these people know how to act. And I'm not saying that because they're drag queens, I'm saying that NOBODY in this cast has ever taken acting lessons in their life. You'll have either two different sides to this kind of acting. Wooden or hammy. And unfortunately, neither one of them works, because none of it has any real charm, and it comes across as them just phoning it in. Part of that has to do with the fact that, as I've stated earlier, almost everyone's dialogue in this movie sounds the exact same. And even with their performances, it sounds no different, because almost all of them sound the exact same way. They talk the exact same way. None of these actors sound any different, and they were all given a script that is completely devoid of life and personality. Now granted, the other two Troma films I covered for this series didn't have the best acting in the world, but at least they put in some level of effort. Not here, though. Nobody tried. Nobody gave a shit. And because they almost all sound like the exact same person, their performances in this movie makes this thing even harder to watch. So, acting in this thing is atrocious from top to bottom.

I don't normally ever talk about this in my reviews, but I want to talk about the sets in this movie. Now, I totally understand that this movie was filmed on a low budget, as is the case with Troma films, but I honestly thought they could do better than this. Apparently, in 1991, that wasn't the case. The sets in this movie are cheap as shit. First of all, I want to talk about the planet of Clitoris. Because, we are treated to a few second units shots in this movie where we get to see the outer part of their homeworld. And, I am not kidding when I say this, when you see this planet from those angles, it literally looks like a children's play set. It looks so terrible that if you want to see how bad this thing looks, then check out this movie, if for no other reason, then just to see how bad these shots of this planet look from those angles. Now, while I'm on the subject of the planet Clitoris, what about the rest of the sets? Well, I want you to imagine yourself going to a shitty looking sci-fi convention, where you have a ton of really cheap looking booths that are sold by nobody, except drag queens. You get this movie. The sets on this planet looks so cheap and so terrible, to a point where I honestly thought it was run by the same retards who invented Dashcon. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, go look up the story of Dashcon on YouTube, it's...rather interesting. But anyway, that's what I was thinking about, at one point. But, unlike Dashcon, at least this movie wasn't cancelled. So, at least I can give the movie that much. But that still doesn't excuse the terrible job that went into these sets.

Moving onto special effects. Special effects in this movie are a ridiculously mixed bag. I want to make a note that the costuming and makeup effects were done by the movie's star, Doris Fish, who also plays Captain Tracy Daniels. And I will say that, at least, the costuming and makeup effects are decent. They really do make the movie look kinda unique. Granted, it's nothing special, but at least it works, and if there's one thing that this movie did well enough in terms of special effects, it would have to be the costumes and the makeup effects. Everything else, though...looks cheap and shit. One scene, in particular, that really caught my attention was towards the end of the movie. Where we get to see the space cadets ship blasting off from the toy set planet of Clitoris. And the ship, itself, when you see it blasting off, looks like a bottle rocket. It looks so cheap, that it could be seen as the one lone effect, for me anyway, that was kinda laughable. But, even then, it still did not look good at all. So, special effects in this thing are a mixed bag, at best.

Camerawork here is OK. Lighting, in most shots, looks fine. It could've been lit a little bit better, but it's not enough for me to knock on the lighting too much. Sound-mix here is decent. Music, I will say is also a mixed bag. For the score, at times, it sounds like something I would hear from either a video game on the Super Nintendo and the SEGA Genesis. It's...OK, I guess. But ultimately, it's nothing special. The songs, however, are really good. And I'm mainly talking about the opening song, and the song that plays during the ending credits. I'm not counting the song that our space cadets/drag queens sing towards the end of the film, because that singing was shit. But that's more so on the acting. So I guess I can add that to things that our main drag queen cast can't do.

Ultimately, guys, am I able to recommend "Vegas in Space"? No. Unless if you're into bad movies, then that's the only way I can recommend this thing, is if you have friends over on a bad movie night, and you want to riff on something, then go ahead and check out this thing. However, for everyone else, avoid this thing at all costs. If you're a fan of Troma, and you haven't had a chance to watch this thing yet, do not waste your time on it. It's an hour and 27 minutes that you'll never get back. And I'm really disappointed in Troma for them even considering releasing something this god awful under their name. It's just...what the fuck did you see in this thing, Lloyd Kaufman? What made you think that this movie was even worth putting under the Troma name? I know I'm probably never gonna get an answer from him, but still, I would like some form of an answer. This movie was fucking garbage on almost every single level. And now that I've finally watched this thing, I never have to see it ever again. Now, I'm gonna go watch a better film from Troma. In fact, I'm gonna pop in the only movie I have on DVD that was put out by them. I'm gonna go watch my copy of "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.". Because I need to be reminded of the good Troma films, and not...this pile of shit that I wasted the time on.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

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