Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 2007. That movie is "Drive Thru".
Some of you may happen to recall, a long time ago, I reviewed a movie called "Drive Angry". And I said, back then, that I was trying to find a specific movie with the word 'Drive' in it's title. Well, tonight's movie has that word. And I'm kinda psyched in checking this out after finally coming across this movie.Now, the reason why I wanted to check this movie out has to do with it's premise. The premise for this movie is that there is a clown killer, who happens to be the mascot of a fast food joint, and he starts killing people at this fast food restaurant. At least, that's what I'm going to assume, based off the title. Now, that to me, sounds like a cheesy yet, sorta, cool premise. Because I loved "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", and I have also seen another movie involving a killer clown that some people don't really know about, which was "Stitches". And if you've never seen that movie, I would highly recommend it. It is one of the most underrated horror comedies I have seen in a long time.
So, I know that horror comedies have had a good track record for me. However...just because a premise sounds kinda awesome, doesn't mean that the movie is going to be any good. Plus also, I happen to remember covering another horror comedy for this series, which was "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and that movie kinda sucked. So, I am fully prepared if this movie ends up being a massive letdown. However, I still have plenty of hope that this movie will end up being halfway decent. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this thing is in any way watchable, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Drive Thru".
17 minutes later
You know, guys, I would probably appreciate this movie better if it didn't preach it's anti-Republican message. This is, like, the third time that this movie has done this, and it's starting to get a little bit annoying. I'm certainly hoping that we can move past that, so we can get this movie going. Because, right now, we're off to a little bit of a bad start.
10 minutes later
Oh boy, guys, now we have terrible death metal music in this chase scene. Well, correction, it's just really annoying noise that tries to pass itself off as death metal. Thankfully, you guys can't hear this shitty music for obvious reasons. But, unfortunately for me, I'm still stuck listening to this god awful music.
10 minutes later
All right, I already mentioned this earlier, but this movie has gotta knock this shit off. So we have another message from our killer. This time the message is on an Etch A Sketch, which reads "I
Bush". Setting aside the question of why someone, who's almost 18, still has an Etch A Sketch in 2007, this movie is still banging on this same political message again and again. And it's really starting to make this movie hard to watch.14 minutes later
Thank Christ, that fucking detective is finally dead. Hopefully, this is a good sign of things to come. Perhaps, maybe, we can have the rest of these sacks of waste fall victim to our killer. Seriously, I want every character in this movie to just fucking die. That is how much I detest these shallow as shit characters.
6 minutes later
Well, guys, I am willing to say this much. The kills in this movie are pretty cool. Granted, they're not great, but it's certainly one of the very few positives I can give this movie. And I'm willing to take any positive I can get out of this thing.
6 minutes later
So let me see if I understand this. Mackenzie's mother saw this prank that was committed by her friends, and it caused a fire that ended up killing this guy. Instead of noticing the fire right away and calling for help, she decides to just leave because she was 'afraid'. I don't give a shit if you were afraid, bitch, you still could've called 911, and it probably would've saved his life. Guys, this movie is almost bordering on retarded, and I hope she dies a slow and painful death. And if she doesn't by the time this movie's over, I'm going to be a little pissed.
3 minutes later
Son of a bitch...this detective is still alive. OK, well, I have to retract that statement about him being dead, because I guess it was suppose to be sleeping powder. Would've preferred if he wasn't around, because his character is fucking worthless, but that would be the first time that this movie did something positive with it's shallow and lifeless characters, now would it?
The Review
Well, guys, that was "Drive Thru". I'm gonna shut this crap off...shut up! Oh my God, that fucking song is horrendous. I may as well just start with music and get it out of the way. The music in this thing is terrible. Especially this god awful rock song that is nothing but noise. It was shit whenever our killer was around, and it was shit during the ending credits. I'm just gonna leave it at that and move on. Because this fucking soundtrack was shit from top to bottom.
So...what about the rest of the movie? Well, I may as well start with writing. You know, when I read the plot for this movie, I genuinely thought it was going to be something cool and kinda funny. Because the idea of a killer clown that is a mascot of a fast food joint would sound like cheesy, stupid fun. Well, one of those words fits this movie perfectly. It's not cheesy, and it's certainly not fun to watch. This movie is fucking stupid. And it's not the cheesy, stupid fun that I was hoping for. This movie, in the hands of a competent writer, would've been great. We could've had something as cool as "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Now, I'm not saying that it had to be better than that movie was, because "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" is on a whole different level in terms of how great that movie was, but I wanted it to be something as fun as that movie was. Unfortunately, this movie doesn't have any of that. I want to touch upon humor first because, since this is a horror comedy, you would think that the movie would attempt some level of witty humor. So what does this movie have in terms of humor? Well, we have a detective in this movie named Crockers. And almost every character in this movie gets his name wrong on purpose by calling him Crackers. And on 4 or 5 different occasions, they use that same running joke, because repeating it the first time was just so funny to our two writers. By the way, I should mention that not only do we have two writers for this movie, but these are the same two writers who also directed this fucking thing. So, our two pin-headed writers think that repeating the same joke constantly is going to get funnier each time you say it. You know, kinda like morons who post internet memes on repeat, because they think that spamming the same fucking image of whatever media it's from is going to get funnier each time. It doesn't. But, then again, that's just me harping on internet memes as a whole, so I'm just gonna leave it at that. But anyway, what else do we have for humor? Well...at one point, our killer makes a one liner about guts after killing one of the victims. It wasn't funny, but at least it was kinda, sorta, clever. So really, guys, this movie's humor is a massive misfire. And, for being a horror comedy, it doesn't really have a whole lot of laughs.
There's one thing about this movie's writing that irritates the shit out of me, and I talked about this not too long ago when I reviewed "Osmosis Jones" a couple of weeks ago. And it's about how you convey your message. I don't mind movies having a message as long as it's subtle. But this movie doesn't know what that words means. Because this movie has a very blatant political message. You see, our main character, Mackenzie, is anti-Republican. How do I know this? Well, at one point, she mentions that she's a Liberal who writes for a column, and she writes anything anti-Establishment. Mind you, this movie came out in 2007. So this was around a time when George W. Bush was still the President. We also have Mackenzie, at the beginning of the movie, pouring cans of beer onto two people at a pool party and saying to them that she didn't invite Republicans. And she'll also mention that she'll die fat, alone, and Republican. And her Dad will also say something along the lines of "If you're under 20 and not a Liberal, then you don't have a heart". This movie does not hide it's message of it's hatred against Republicans. And to put a political message in a horror comedy, of all things, is fucking stupid and pointless. And it's gonna take you out of the movie, especially if you're either a Republican, or someone who doesn't like to have a political message in their movies entirely. Speaking of Bush, this movie has some sort of weird fetish about Bush, because they'll either reference him by his last name or by picture. Because, at one point, when Mackenzie and her parents are in the sheriff's office, on two occasions, the camera will focus on one of our detectives talking, and you'll get to see a shot of President Bush's photo frame on one side of them. Or, you'll have our killer reference his name by writing "I
Bush" on an Etch A Sketch, and then the next scene will have one of the female characters from earlier who wears a light-blue tank top that has the same message that our killer wrote. By the way, we never get a reason as to how our killer, which is Horny the Clown, has these powers. For whatever reason, he has these powers that's able to communicate with Mackenzie, whether it's through a Magic 8 Ball, an Etch a Sketch, or a doll that says stuff whenever you pull it's string. The closest thing we get to an explanation is when Mackenzie and her boyfriend, Fischer, discover a Magic 8 Ball in this clown's room. So...does that mean that he also has an Etch a Sketch, and that he's able to use it to communicate with Mackenzie's Etch a Sketch? Does it mean that if she has a clown doll with a pull string, does that mean he's able to communicate with her through a pull string clown doll? None of this shit makes any sense, and my only guess on how he's communicating with her through inanimate objects is because fuck you, that's why.As with our characters, none of them are likable. I already touched upon Mackenzie, who's basically anti-Republican. As for everyone else, you either sound like you're high, you curse a lot, or just have no personality at all. This is how you can tell when you have terribly written characters. Now, I'm not asking for a ton of depth in a horror comedy. I mean, hell, "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" was able to get away with lack of character depth easily, and still be great. Why couldn't this movie do that? If you don't want to give any depth to these characters, then, at the very least, give me a reason as to why I should care about any of these characters. This movie couldn't even do that much. And I was just waiting for our main characters to die a horribly gruesome death. But since this is, technically, a horror movie, we have to have several of our main characters live. And, sadly, that is the case here. But, oh well. One more thing I want to mention, in terms of writing, has to do with Mackenzie's mother, who is, probably, the reason why the killer is after Mackenzie. Well, technically, he's after the children of these parents, but I'm not going to say why, for the sake of spoilers. So, Mackenzie's mother, as a teenager, was hanging with a group of friends, and they loved to bully Benjamin's son, who happens to be working as a mascot for Hella-Burger. And he happened to have a crush on Mackenzie's mother back in the day. Then, on his 18th birthday, he sent out an invitation to her, hoping that she'll come to his party. Well, she does...sort of. Her friends end up causing a prank that ends up knocking him out, which results with the restaurant catching fire, thus killing him as well. So, as I mentioned early on, rather than calling 911 the moment that she see's this happening, she ends up leaving the restaurant, even though he might've only been knocked out, and could've had a chance to save his life, instead of just being stupid and let the place catch fire, and thus taking his life as well. Guys, I understand that there are suppose to be stupid characters in horror movies, but this movie is the definition of an "idiot plot", where this could've been easily prevented, had Mackenzie's mother not left him behind and just called for help. But no, that doesn't end up happening. And it just ends up bordering on retarded, because our characters are that stupid. So, I can easily say that the writing here is terrible, and what few jokes are in this horror comedy end up being misfires, as well.
So, naturally, because we have a terribly written script, you shouldn't expect miracles from the acting. And it shows. Nobody in this cast turns in a showing that I would consider good. The worst bit of acting comes from Mackenzie and her mother. These two phone it in terribly, especially whenever they have to share screen-time together. Because at some points, they would pause in some parts of their dialogue, and then they would continue speaking as if they were trying to remember what they were going to say. Or it might've been because they were fed these lines while the cameras were rolling, thus resulting in them phoning in a terrible showing. Neither of these two actresses can act. And, as I just stated, nobody else here even tried, because their characters were all just one dimensional and lifeless.
Now let's move onto special effects. This is the one thing I can totally give this movie. The special effects in this movie are pretty good. We have some really interesting and cool kills here. Such as one kill where Horny ends up killing this one guy with his meat cleaver in the head. That looked really cool. That was probably the best looking kill in the entire movie. We also have a kill where he ends up cutting this guy in half, and it ends up with this guy's guts sprawling out of his stomach. That also looked pretty good. In fact, if you really just want to see this movie for the kills, then I would recommend just looking it up on YouTube. I'm sure there's a compilation of every kill in this movie that's there. But really, special effects are the only real positive I can give this movie. Again, none of it is great, but it's certainly the only thing that makes this movie shine.
Camerawork...I have a bit of a tip for anyone who's interested in getting into film making. If you're filming your location outside, and if your character is wearing sunglasses, make sure you get sunglasses that don't have really bright lenses. Otherwise, you'll get shots of where you see the film crew through the lenses. I'm not kidding, guys, there is one shot in this movie where we see Detective Chase interrogating Benjamin on the outside of his mansion, and she's wearing sunglasses with these really wide lenses. Now that wouldn't be so bad, except you can see in the reflection of her lenses where the film crew is standing there in plain sight, as they were filming this scene. This shot is some of the most amateurish camerawork I have seen in a movie in a long time. And, once more, this movie came out in 2007. There's no excuse for the camerawork to be this fucking poor, especially if you have someone wearing sunglasses with bright lenses, and your film crew can be seen in plain sight through them! I understand that I'm complaining about one shot that sounds trivial in the long run, but that one shot took me out of the scene entirely, and the filmmakers should've picked up on this. But either it was a slip-up on their part, or they just didn't fucking care, and green lit that shot, anyways. Now, aside from that, lighting here is fine. Sound-mix is OK. I will say that Horny's voice could've been mixed a little better, because he talks through an intercom with his mask. But I could still hear his dialogue well enough, so I can, at least, say the sound-mix works good enough. I've already touched upon how awful the music was, so I'm not gonna beat that same horse again. I will also say that Horny's costume looks pretty good, too. So, at least, I can give the costuming here another positive.
Ultimately, guys, can I recommend "Drive Thru"? Uh, no. This movie was shit. And it's disappointingly shit, too. Because I really wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to be fun and entertaining, even if it was in a cheesy, stupid way. But this thing is too stupid, even for me. The writing here is horrible, the characters suck, our story here could've been awesome if we had writers who knew what the fuck they were doing, and the shoehorned in political message really brings this movie down. This movie has a really interesting concept, but the writing, as I just stated, is what kills this entire movie. If you happen to find this movie anywhere on DVD or Blu-ray, do not waste your time and money on it. If you want a good movie about a killer clown, go watch something like "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", "Stitches", or Stephen King's "IT". Those are better examples of good horror comedies. And, right now, I really want to go and re-watch my copy of "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Because, damn it, I need to watch a better horror comedy, so I can get this awful movie's taste out of my mouth.
Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.
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