Reaction & Review | Valentine: The Dark Avenger

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering an Indonesian film from 2017. That movie is "Valentine: The Dark Avenger".

I'm gonna tell you, guys, I literally know almost nothing about this movie, outside of a couple of things. I know that it's an Indonesian action movie, and this movie is based off a comic book that I've never heard of, or read. What's strange, though, about this movie is that, when I was doing the small amount of research I did on this thing, apparently, this movie doesn't have a Wikipedia article. Which, to me, is kind of a bad sign. Now, it's probably just a baseless worry, and maybe I'm just getting concerned over nothing. Now, I've seen a copy of this movie a couple of times at one of my local videos stores, but I never had the opportunity to pick it up, because I wanted to focus on other movies and video games I wanted to buy. Thankfully, there is a copy of this thing on YouTube, so I'm gonna be watching it off of there, and see if I'm missing out on something good here.

Now, I had a bit of a hard decision on when to review this movie. You see, when I found out that this movie was based off a comic book, I was, originally, going to hold off on reviewing this thing for my next "Tales of the Longbox" marathon that I plan on doing at the beginning of next year. However, with what movies I've been currently building up for that marathon, I decided to just cover this movie now, so I don't have to worry about holding off on it any longer.

I'm hoping for this thing to be pretty good. And who knows? If this movie ends up being any good, I may check out the books that this character is based off of. But the only way I'm gonna know if thing is worth watching at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Valentine: The Dark Avenger".

7 minutes later

...I am so glad you asked that, dude. The acting in this movie is terrible. Well, correction, the acting in this dub is terrible, so far. I totally understand that it's still early in this movie, but, right now, we're off to kind of a bad start.

9 minutes later

So, hold on a second here. So this first fight that Valentine has to go through is an actual robbery that's taking place. I have a couple of questions here. First of all, how did Bono know that there was going to be a robbery taking place at this exact convenience store? Does he, like, have connections to robberies being taken place at certain times? Moreover, why does Valentine's first fight have to take place while a robbery is going on? Don't you think it would make more sense to put her in something a little more tame like fighting gangs or something like that? I understand that all of this might sound trivial and fucking stupid, but, damn it, I would, at least, like to know how Bono even knows where to go to film his stupid movie. Quite frankly, I don't think I'm gonna get an answer to that, but, so far, this movie has already left me with a ton of questions and not a lot of answers.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, I never thought I would see two random thieves able to perform some of the most impossible jumps I've ever seen during a chase scene. Seems a little bit stupid, to me. Personally, I think you should just focus on escaping, rather than performing stunts while trying to get away. Just saying.

6 minutes later

You know, guys, I will say that the fight choreography in this movie is, actually, pretty good. Do you know what would make it better? If these fight scenes didn't rely so heavily on jump cuts. I swear to God, guys, this movie has a fucking obsession with these constant jump cuts during these fight scenes. It's actually ruining the fight scenes in this movie, to a point where I can't take any of it seriously. I kinda hope we see less of these jump cuts in later fight scenes, because, right now, this is starting to get a little tiresome.

16 minutes later

I didn't think this was possible, guys. But the jump cuts in these fight scenes are getting worse. I didn't think that was even possible, but, somehow, this movie found a way to make fight scenes look awful. That is just terrifying, guys.

10 minutes later

...Are you fucking serious? That is how Valentine got her name is because his daughter died in a car accident, who also happens to have the name Valentine? Guys, that is probably one of the dumbest ways you could name drop your title character. God, I really want this movie to be over and done with. And I gotta another...forty minutes of this crap to go.

15 minutes later

Guys, I am really hating this movie. I understand that I'm gonna have plenty of time ripping into this thing once this boring, pile of shit is over. But I just want to let you guys know now, so, that way, I can fully prepare myself to tear this shit apart once this thing is done. There's only 25 minutes left, and I'm am just counting down the seconds until I get to that moment.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Valentine: The Dark Avenger". I'm gonna shut this garbage off...dear lord...I'm sorry, guys, but I'm trying to process what I just watched. Earlier, I mentioned that I was going to hold off on reviewing this movie until my next "Tales of the Longbox" marathon. Well...I think I saved myself from watching a terrible movie for that marathon. Because this movie almost offends me in ways that I didn't think were possible.

So, let's start with the writing. Now, as I stated earlier, this movie is based off a comic book that I've never read. So I don't even know if this movie is even half loyal to the source material it's adapting itself from. But, to be perfectly honest, I don't care if it's loyal to the source material or not, because I have no intention of ever reading those books. And this movie is clear proof of that. It's obvious, to me, that whoever wrote this movie, was a huge fan of Batman. Specifically, I'm referring to the "Dark Knight" trilogy, because this movie has so many elements from that trilogy that were shoehorned into this movie. To a point where I would almost consider this movie flagrantly ripping off the entire "Dark Knight" trilogy. And to prove my point even further about this writer being a fan of Batman, they even name dropped Batman twice in this movie. Not only that, but one of the villains in this movie has a logo on her chest that almost resembles the iconic Batman symbol from the 1989 movie. And, mind you, she wears that towards the end of the movie. And even Valentine, herself, is a poor, shallow, knockoff of Batman, because she has no powers, and she relies on her combat skills and handcuffs, which is the only "gadget" in this movie that she uses, even though there were more introduced in the middle of film, but that's not really important here. This movie does not hide the fact that this movie tries so hard to be like Nolan's "Dark Knight" trilogy, but here's the thing. For all of the faults that those movies had, at least they were trying to establish character development, stories that were decently written, and villains that weren't one dimensional. And this is what really pisses me off about this movie. It's not the fact that this movie "borrows" elements from the "Dark Knight" trilogy. I probably would've not minded any of that, but the very fact that this movie had to shamelessly name drop Batman's name in this movie twice is what really pisses me off. And it's not because Batman is my favorite comic book character. It's because this movie could not be asked to establish it's own original universe. It could not be asked to have an original character, that is not even in the same league as a character that has had decades of backstory and character development. You see, guys, if this movie did not drop Batman's name in this movie, I would've given this thing a lot less slack. At worst, I would've said that this movie is a shameless knockoff of Nolan's Batman films, and it would only remind me that I could be watching something better like "The Dark Knight Rises". But because this movie decided to commit a cardinal sin by name dropping Batman twice, the only thing that this movie really accomplished was that it's main character is an unoriginal, fourth rate, version of Batman. And that's all Valentine is ever going to be. At least, to me, that's what she's always going to remind me as.

Now, I'm gonna try to look past all of that...as hard as that's going to be. Let's talk about the rest of the writing. Now, I mentioned that this movie has a ton of elements from the "Dark Knight" trilogy, and it shows. We have a city that has a ton of crime, criminals that run free and rob anything they can, and we have a villain that wants to spread fear. I'll get to the villain in a moment. So how does our main character, Srimaya, get to be Valentine? Well, we have this guy named Bono, who's trying to make a superhero movie, and he wants to find a female that is beautiful and knows martial arts. And, what do you know, he finds Srimaya, who works as a waitress, that ends up beating the shit out of two guys, after they sexually harass a different waitress constantly. And that, apparently, is enough for him to go "Look! I've found our leading lady!". Mind you, he doesn't really say that, but that's what I was thinking of during that scene. And I guess she has no real say in this, because they end up shooting the first scene of the movie by beating up a bunch of thugs, who are robbing a convenience store...sure. Why not? Speaking of Bono, he's rather unlikable, because all he cares about is filming his retarded movie. Now, the movie tries to contemplate this by giving him a backstory about how his wife and daughter died during a car accident and how he lost one of his legs. And I would probably care more, if his character was more likable from the get go. But it wasn't. Also, I find it very classy that the reason how Valentine gets her name is because of Bono's dead daughter. Rather than leaving her name to rest, Bono had to shoehorn his daughter's name into a superhero, because, you know, that's totally not being disrespectful to the dead at all. We also have this gay hair stylist, who tries to film every fight Valentine gets into to get herself recognized online. He has no real character other than the fact that he's a gay stereotype...whoopie. I've already said plenty about Valentine, about how she's a fourth rate version of Batman. Speaking of which, because this movie tries so hard to be like the "Dark Knight" trilogy, we also have characters who I could easily say are flagrant knockoff of other Batman characters. Two really good examples of this would be the police commissioner, who is a fourth rate version of Commissioner Gordon. The other example of that would have to be our villain for this movie, Shadow. Shadow is, basically, a shallow, knock off of Bane from "The Dark Knight Rises". The only thing that's different about Shadow is that he doesn't have that stupid voice of Bane's, so, at least, I can give the movie that. Plus, he's really good at martial arts. Beyond that, though, our villains have no personality or depth to them. They're basically there for the sake of being there, and nothing else. And that could be said about every other character in this movie. So, writing here is a complete travesty, and it's one of the biggest sins that this movie commits.

What about the acting? Well, I can easily tell you that the dub for this movie is just awful. There are certain moments in this movie where you'll have some characters speaking, yet their dialogue goes on for another second or two. Now, that doesn't happen too often, but it's still noticeable. As for the acting itself, it's terrible. Almost nobody here turns in a showing that I would say is partially good. Now, maybe the Indonesian version of this movie has better acting, but I can't really gauge that, because I haven't seen a whole lot of Indonesian films. But the acting in this dub is just terrible. The only actor who turns in any kind of showing, that I would consider any good, is the actor who voices Shadow. But that could be attributed to the fact that Shadow speaks with, what I'm going to assume, is a voice changer. Still, though, at least the acting from him is passable. But, like I said, this dub makes this movie almost hard to watch. The worst actor comes from whoever voices Srimaya's brother. Oh my God, he phones it in so badly that it sounds like he took a dose of sleeping pills before he got a chance to record his lines. It is just that bad. Ultimately, guys, the acting here sucks. And it's just what it is, which is a terrible English dub.

Special effects here are, at least, halfway decent. We have quite a few explosions. Some of them were in CG, which looked kinda shitty, but everything else in terms of pyrotechnics looks decent. Makeup effects are pretty good. We also have quite a bit of practical blood, which also looks pretty good. In fact, for a low budget film, special effects in this movie are pretty decent. And that, I can totally say, works. So, special effects are the only real positive I can give this movie.

I want to talk about the fight choreography. I would love to tell you that the fight choreography in this movie is amazing, but there's one thing that ruins it entirely, which is the camerawork. There's two things that filmmakers should consider when doing fight scenes. The first, and most obvious, thing is that your actors should be trained on how to fight. And we do have that here. But the other thing makes it even more important is that you want to have your fight scenes flow naturally. A real good example of this would be "Bloodsport". All of the fights in that movie felt natural, and you could follow along with where the fight was going, because the camera focuses on the two fighters without making too many cuts. This movie, on the other hand, spends so much time up it's own ass with these constant jump cuts during these fight scenes, that none of it feels natural, and it really takes you out of the movie. So much so that all of them end up becoming unwatchable. On top of that, we also have a ton of shaky cam during these fight scenes. Now, when I say that, I'm not referring to the gay hair stylist that is trying to film this stupid movie for Bono, as he's trying to get a shot of Valentine in action. No, I'm referring to the actual camera operator who spends so much time with jump cuts and shaky cam. The shaky cam during these fight scenes is so bad, that it actually makes the shaky cam in "Batman Begins" look like fucking gold. Process that for a moment! How bad do you have to be in order for your camerawork to be worse than the shaky cam in "Batman Begins"? Apparently, this movie found a way. And it makes the fight choreography look like a complete afterthought.

Now...as for everything else. Lighting here is really good. Sound-mix is mixed properly. Music...for, like, the first half of the movie was completely forgettable. And then, mostly towards the end of the movie, it decides to borrow heavily from the "Dark Knight" trilogy. Well, more-so the latter two films in the "Dark Knight" trilogy. Because I could hear music that is very reminiscent of what I would hear in Nolan's Batman movies. And that shows, once more, that this movie doesn't have an original identity, and just wants to rip off the "Dark Knight" trilogy as much as possible.

So, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Valentine: The Dark Avenger"? Fuck no. This movie proved, to me, that it doesn't want to become something unique or different. Instead, the people who wrote this movie decided to take concepts of the "Dark Knight" trilogy and shamelessly rip it off, to a point where the comparisons are almost hard NOT to make. This movie borders on being unwatchable. And yes, I do know that this movie is free on YouTube. Do not waste your time on this thing. This movie was complete shit, and I am sorry I even considered wasting time on this fucking thing. But hey, you know what? This movie did, at least, remind me that I can watch a better movie involving Batman. And I have plenty of choices that I can pick out from my DVD collection. As much I would like to watch "The Dark Knight Rises" right now, I think I'm gonna go watch something shorter. I think I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Batman: Under the Red Hood". Because that movie is really fucking good.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Drive Thru

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 2007. That movie is "Drive Thru".

Some of you may happen to recall, a long time ago, I reviewed a movie called "Drive Angry". And I said, back then, that I was trying to find a specific movie with the word 'Drive' in it's title. Well, tonight's movie has that word. And I'm kinda psyched in checking this out after finally coming across this movie.

Now, the reason why I wanted to check this movie out has to do with it's premise. The premise for this movie is that there is a clown killer, who happens to be the mascot of a fast food joint, and he starts killing people at this fast food restaurant. At least, that's what I'm going to assume, based off the title. Now, that to me, sounds like a cheesy yet, sorta, cool premise. Because I loved "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", and I have also seen another movie involving a killer clown that some people don't really know about, which was "Stitches". And if you've never seen that movie, I would highly recommend it. It is one of the most underrated horror comedies I have seen in a long time.

So, I know that horror comedies have had a good track record for me. However...just because a premise sounds kinda awesome, doesn't mean that the movie is going to be any good. Plus also, I happen to remember covering another horror comedy for this series, which was "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and that movie kinda sucked. So, I am fully prepared if this movie ends up being a massive letdown. However, I still have plenty of hope that this movie will end up being halfway decent. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this thing is in any way watchable, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Drive Thru".

17 minutes later

You know, guys, I would probably appreciate this movie better if it didn't preach it's anti-Republican message. This is, like, the third time that this movie has done this, and it's starting to get a little bit annoying. I'm certainly hoping that we can move past that, so we can get this movie going. Because, right now, we're off to a little bit of a bad start.

10 minutes later

Oh boy, guys, now we have terrible death metal music in this chase scene. Well, correction, it's just really annoying noise that tries to pass itself off as death metal. Thankfully, you guys can't hear this shitty music for obvious reasons. But, unfortunately for me, I'm still stuck listening to this god awful music.

10 minutes later

All right, I already mentioned this earlier, but this movie has gotta knock this shit off. So we have another message from our killer. This time the message is on an Etch A Sketch, which reads "I   Bush". Setting aside the question of why someone, who's almost 18, still has an Etch A Sketch in 2007, this movie is still banging on this same political message again and again. And it's really starting to make this movie hard to watch.

14 minutes later

Thank Christ, that fucking detective is finally dead. Hopefully, this is a good sign of things to come. Perhaps, maybe, we can have the rest of these sacks of waste fall victim to our killer. Seriously, I want every character in this movie to just fucking die. That is how much I detest these shallow as shit characters.

6 minutes later

Well, guys, I am willing to say this much. The kills in this movie are pretty cool. Granted, they're not great, but it's certainly one of the very few positives I can give this movie. And I'm willing to take any positive I can get out of this thing.

6 minutes later

So let me see if I understand this. Mackenzie's mother saw this prank that was committed by her friends, and it caused a fire that ended up killing this guy. Instead of noticing the fire right away and calling for help, she decides to just leave because she was 'afraid'. I don't give a shit if you were afraid, bitch, you still could've called 911, and it probably would've saved his life. Guys, this movie is almost bordering on retarded, and I hope she dies a slow and painful death. And if she doesn't by the time this movie's over, I'm going to be a little pissed.

3 minutes later

Son of a bitch...this detective is still alive. OK, well, I have to retract that statement about him being dead, because I guess it was suppose to be sleeping powder. Would've preferred if he wasn't around, because his character is fucking worthless, but that would be the first time that this movie did something positive with it's shallow and lifeless characters, now would it?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Drive Thru". I'm gonna shut this crap off...shut up! Oh my God, that fucking song is horrendous. I may as well just start with music and get it out of the way. The music in this thing is terrible. Especially this god awful rock song that is nothing but noise. It was shit whenever our killer was around, and it was shit during the ending credits. I'm just gonna leave it at that and move on. Because this fucking soundtrack was shit from top to bottom.

So...what about the rest of the movie? Well, I may as well start with writing. You know, when I read the plot for this movie, I genuinely thought it was going to be something cool and kinda funny. Because the idea of a killer clown that is a mascot of a fast food joint would sound like cheesy, stupid fun. Well, one of those words fits this movie perfectly. It's not cheesy, and it's certainly not fun to watch. This movie is fucking stupid. And it's not the cheesy, stupid fun that I was hoping for. This movie, in the hands of a competent writer, would've been great. We could've had something as cool as "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Now, I'm not saying that it had to be better than that movie was, because "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" is on a whole different level in terms of how great that movie was, but I wanted it to be something as fun as that movie was. Unfortunately, this movie doesn't have any of that. I want to touch upon humor first because, since this is a horror comedy, you would think that the movie would attempt some level of witty humor. So what does this movie have in terms of humor? Well, we have a detective in this movie named Crockers. And almost every character in this movie gets his name wrong on purpose by calling him Crackers. And on 4 or 5 different occasions, they use that same running joke, because repeating it the first time was just so funny to our two writers. By the way, I should mention that not only do we have two writers for this movie, but these are the same two writers who also directed this fucking thing. So, our two pin-headed writers think that repeating the same joke constantly is going to get funnier each time you say it. You know, kinda like morons who post internet memes on repeat, because they think that spamming the same fucking image of whatever media it's from is going to get funnier each time. It doesn't. But, then again, that's just me harping on internet memes as a whole, so I'm just gonna leave it at that. But anyway, what else do we have for humor? Well...at one point, our killer makes a one liner about guts after killing one of the victims. It wasn't funny, but at least it was kinda, sorta, clever. So really, guys, this movie's humor is a massive misfire. And, for being a horror comedy, it doesn't really have a whole lot of laughs.

There's one thing about this movie's writing that irritates the shit out of me, and I talked about this not too long ago when I reviewed "Osmosis Jones" a couple of weeks ago. And it's about how you convey your message. I don't mind movies having a message as long as it's subtle. But this movie doesn't know what that words means. Because this movie has a very blatant political message. You see, our main character, Mackenzie, is anti-Republican. How do I know this? Well, at one point, she mentions that she's a Liberal who writes for a column, and she writes anything anti-Establishment. Mind you, this movie came out in 2007. So this was around a time when George W. Bush was still the President. We also have Mackenzie, at the beginning of the movie, pouring cans of beer onto two people at a pool party and saying to them that she didn't invite Republicans. And she'll also mention that she'll die fat, alone, and Republican. And her Dad will also say something along the lines of "If you're under 20 and not a Liberal, then you don't have a heart". This movie does not hide it's message of it's hatred against Republicans. And to put a political message in a horror comedy, of all things, is fucking stupid and pointless. And it's gonna take you out of the movie, especially if you're either a Republican, or someone who doesn't like to have a political message in their movies entirely. Speaking of Bush, this movie has some sort of weird fetish about Bush, because they'll either reference him by his last name or by picture. Because, at one point, when Mackenzie and her parents are in the sheriff's office, on two occasions, the camera will focus on one of our detectives talking, and you'll get to see a shot of President Bush's photo frame on one side of them. Or, you'll have our killer reference his name by writing "I  Bush" on an Etch A Sketch, and then the next scene will have one of the female characters from earlier who wears a light-blue tank top that has the same message that our killer wrote. By the way, we never get a reason as to how our killer, which is Horny the Clown, has these powers. For whatever reason, he has these powers that's able to communicate with Mackenzie, whether it's through a Magic 8 Ball, an Etch a Sketch, or a doll that says stuff whenever you pull it's string. The closest thing we get to an explanation is when Mackenzie and her boyfriend, Fischer, discover a Magic 8 Ball in this clown's room. So...does that mean that he also has an Etch a Sketch, and that he's able to use it to communicate with Mackenzie's Etch a Sketch? Does it mean that if she has a clown doll with a pull string, does that mean he's able to communicate with her through a pull string clown doll? None of this shit makes any sense, and my only guess on how he's communicating with her through inanimate objects is because fuck you, that's why.

As with our characters, none of them are likable. I already touched upon Mackenzie, who's basically anti-Republican. As for everyone else, you either sound like you're high, you curse a lot, or just have no personality at all. This is how you can tell when you have terribly written characters. Now, I'm not asking for a ton of depth in a horror comedy. I mean, hell, "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" was able to get away with lack of character depth easily, and still be great. Why couldn't this movie do that? If you don't want to give any depth to these characters, then, at the very least, give me a reason as to why I should care about any of these characters. This movie couldn't even do that much. And I was just waiting for our main characters to die a horribly gruesome death. But since this is, technically, a horror movie, we have to have several of our main characters live. And, sadly, that is the case here. But, oh well. One more thing I want to mention, in terms of writing, has to do with Mackenzie's mother, who is, probably, the reason why the killer is after Mackenzie. Well, technically, he's after the children of these parents, but I'm not going to say why, for the sake of spoilers. So, Mackenzie's mother, as a teenager, was hanging with a group of friends, and they loved to bully Benjamin's son, who happens to be working as a mascot for Hella-Burger. And he happened to have a crush on Mackenzie's mother back in the day. Then, on his 18th birthday, he sent out an invitation to her, hoping that she'll come to his party. Well, she does...sort of.  Her friends end up causing a prank that ends up knocking him out, which results with the restaurant catching fire, thus killing him as well. So, as I mentioned early on, rather than calling 911 the moment that she see's this happening, she ends up leaving the restaurant, even though he might've only been knocked out, and could've had a chance to save his life, instead of just being stupid and let the place catch fire, and thus taking his life as well. Guys, I understand that there are suppose to be stupid characters in horror movies, but this movie is the definition of an "idiot plot", where this could've been easily prevented, had Mackenzie's mother not left him behind and just called for help. But no, that doesn't end up happening. And it just ends up bordering on retarded, because our characters are that stupid. So, I can easily say that the writing here is terrible, and what few jokes are in this horror comedy end up being misfires, as well.

So, naturally, because we have a terribly written script, you shouldn't expect miracles from the acting. And it shows. Nobody in this cast turns in a showing that I would consider good. The worst bit of acting comes from Mackenzie and her mother. These two phone it in terribly, especially whenever they have to share screen-time together. Because at some points, they would pause in some parts of their dialogue, and then they would continue speaking as if they were trying to remember what they were going to say. Or it might've been because they were fed these lines while the cameras were rolling, thus resulting in them phoning in a terrible showing. Neither of these two actresses can act. And, as I just stated, nobody else here even tried, because their characters were all just one dimensional and lifeless.

Now let's move onto special effects. This is the one thing I can totally give this movie. The special effects in this movie are pretty good. We have some really interesting and cool kills here. Such as one kill where Horny ends up killing this one guy with his meat cleaver in the head. That looked really cool. That was probably the best looking kill in the entire movie. We also have a kill where he ends up cutting this guy in half, and it ends up with this guy's guts sprawling out of his stomach. That also looked pretty good. In fact, if you really just want to see this movie for the kills, then I would recommend just looking it up on YouTube. I'm sure there's a compilation of every kill in this movie that's there. But really, special effects are the only real positive I can give this movie. Again, none of it is great, but it's certainly the only thing that makes this movie shine.

Camerawork...I have a bit of a tip for anyone who's interested in getting into film making. If you're filming your location outside, and if your character is wearing sunglasses, make sure you get sunglasses that don't have really bright lenses. Otherwise, you'll get shots of where you see the film crew through the lenses. I'm not kidding, guys, there is one shot in this movie where we see Detective Chase interrogating Benjamin on the outside of his mansion, and she's wearing sunglasses with these really wide lenses. Now that wouldn't be so bad, except you can see in the reflection of her lenses where the film crew is standing there in plain sight, as they were filming this scene. This shot is some of the most amateurish camerawork I have seen in a movie in a long time. And, once more, this movie came out in 2007. There's no excuse for the camerawork to be this fucking poor, especially if you have someone wearing sunglasses with bright lenses, and your film crew can be seen in plain sight through them! I understand that I'm complaining about one shot that sounds trivial in the long run, but that one shot took me out of the scene entirely, and the filmmakers should've picked up on this. But either it was a slip-up on their part, or they just didn't fucking care, and green lit that shot, anyways. Now, aside from that, lighting here is fine. Sound-mix is OK. I will say that Horny's voice could've been mixed a little better, because he talks through an intercom with his mask. But I could still hear his dialogue well enough, so I can, at least, say the sound-mix works good enough. I've already touched upon how awful the music was, so I'm not gonna beat that same horse again. I will also say that Horny's costume looks pretty good, too. So, at least, I can give the costuming here another positive.

Ultimately, guys, can I recommend "Drive Thru"? Uh, no. This movie was shit. And it's disappointingly shit, too. Because I really wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to be fun and entertaining, even if it was in a cheesy, stupid way. But this thing is too stupid, even for me. The writing here is horrible, the characters suck, our story here could've been awesome if we had writers who knew what the fuck they were doing, and the shoehorned in political message really brings this movie down. This movie has a really interesting concept, but the writing, as I just stated, is what kills this entire movie. If you happen to find this movie anywhere on DVD or Blu-ray, do not waste your time and money on it. If you want a good movie about a killer clown, go watch something like "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", "Stitches", or Stephen King's "IT". Those are better examples of good horror comedies. And, right now, I really want to go and re-watch my copy of "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Because, damn it, I need to watch a better horror comedy, so I can get this awful movie's taste out of my mouth.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Vegas in Space

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a sci-fi comedy from 1991. That movie is "Vegas in Space".

The only thing I do know about this movie is that it was put out by Troma. And I've seen only two other films from them, both of which I covered for this series. The first was "Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies", which was, surprisingly, really good. And the other movie was "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.", which turned out to be one of my favorite superhero comedies of all time. And, thanks to those two movies, I have grown massively fond over this indie film studio, and I always want to see what else they have in store.

Now, as for tonight's movie, I don't know much else about it. I know that it has something to do with a planet that is solely occupied by women, and there's something involving a jewel heist. And I know it's, as I've stated, a sci-fi comedy. So...outside of those several details, I don't know much else about this movie. And honestly, I'm not really sure if this thing is going to be any good. But you know what? I did remember back when I covered "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.", and I went into that movie with low expectations. And it surprised me by being pretty damn good. So, even though I'm gonna do the same thing with "Vegas in Space", I'm hoping for it to pull out something similar with my low expectations.

But, then again, I'm also prepared for this thing to really suck. However, I still want this movie to, at least, be interesting. And the only way I'm going to find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Vegas in Space".

2 minutes later

Well, guys, I can say that this opening song here is amazing. I'm certainly hoping that this is a good sign of things come.

5 minutes later

Wait a second here. So, this weirdo's plan on how to get on this planet that's inhabited by women is by taking a bunch gender reversal pills, so that they can turn into women. I understand he said that they should save pills so that they can turn back into men after their mission is done, but don't you think that this is something that you should really think about BEFORE taking on this mission? You know, at least consider the side effects of what'll happen after you do take these pills that transforms your gender? I understand that it sounds trivial, and stupid, but I hope that this blue dude has this all thought out. Otherwise, this plan sounds really fucking stupid.

2 minutes later

And...I was right. This idiot decided to take two of these pills instead of one because...reasons. And he's dead...I think. Either way, I was right. I kinda hope that this movie will get better, but right now, we're off to a little bit of a bad start, guys.

9 minutes later

Well, guys, I can tell you this much, so far. The sets in this movie are fucking dogshit. Like, this is some the cheapest sets I have seen in a movie in a long time. And that's saying a lot, considering that this was put out by Troma, who are known for putting out low budget titles. I thought that they could better with sets, but apparently, I was wrong.

19 minutes later

So, guys, I've been meaning to ask this. When does this movie start to get funny? Because, last time I checked, this movie was being advertised as a comedy. So...can we get something funny to happen soon? Or, barring that, can we, at least, get the acting to be better? Because, I'm gonna tell you guys this now, the acting in this movie is terrible. I'm certainly hoping for either one of those two things I mentioned to get better. But, as of right now, I fear as those I might be asking for too much.

14 minutes later

Guys, I have no clue what the fuck is going on in this scene. Apparently, we're in a dream sequence...I think? Maybe? What the fuck happened to the story we were suppose to be following?! Why is any of this apparent dream sequence happening? Guys, at this point, I just want this fucking movie to end. And I still got over a half an hour of this crap to sit through. This is really gonna suck.

20 minutes later

Why the hell isn't this fucking thing finished yet? Guys, you have no idea how much of an urge I have right now to shut this steaming turd off. This thing has been painfully boring, and I'm just counting down the seconds until this fucking thing ends. There's about less than 15 minutes left, so...I'm almost there, guys.

The Review

Thank Christ, this piece of shit is over. Well, guys, that was "Vegas in Space". I'm gonna shut this horrendous thing off...OK. Dear lord, that was fucking stupid. Well...I can easily say that, out of the three Troma films that I've seen so far, this is quite easily the worst. Now, there definitely will come a time where I'll watch another film from Troma, but I'm certainly hoping that they're not as bad as this thing was. This was just...my God, was it ever fucking terrible.

Let me start with the writing. Specifically, I want to talk about the dialogue. The dialogue in this thing is horrible. Because, first of all, nobody here sounds like a natural person. Nobody talks as if they're in a normal conversation. And there's a reason for that. Almost every character in this movie has the exact same kind of dialogue. Where you could switch out one character's line of dialogue, and you could replace it with somebody else's, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. It's this kind of dialogue that makes nobody here sound unique, or different from anyone else's. The only characters who sound, even slightly, different are our space cadets. Because, before they take these stupid gender swapping pills that turn them into women, at least some of them sound a little different from each other. Granted, that's not saying very much, but at least it was something. But once they turn into women, they also have the exact same problem that everyone else on this planet of women have. They talk no differently than anyone else in this fucking movie. Oh, and, by the way, speaking of the gender swapping pills, I mentioned the part where the space cadets are suppose to hold on to these blue pills so that they could turn back into men after their mission is over. Bit of a spoiler on that, they never turn back into men after they're done with their mission. So, why bother bringing up this tidbit of information, when these space cadets were never going to turn back into men, anyways? My guess is because fuck you, that's why. Either that, or the writers completely forgot about that, and they just didn't fucking care. It doesn't matter, because it wouldn't have made this movie any better. Our characters are all shallow and lifeless, thanks to this samey dialogue that they all get stuck with. Nobody has any real personality, other than they're dressed in drag. And I'm talking about both the male to female space cadets, and everyone else on this planet, which is literally called Clitoris. And no, I'm not kidding about that name either. That is what that planet is called.

As for the story, it goes pretty much nowhere. Apparently, these jewels that the Empress or Queen, or whatever, has are stolen from her. And these jewels are suppose to be what keeps the planet Clitoris from being destroyed. And we're told in this movie that without the jewels, the planet has gone up in crime, murder, tremors, and all this other shit that's been happening. And, outside of a few tremors, we don't really see any of this happen in the movie. There is one scene where that happens. However, that doesn't happen until the end of the movie. And I'm not gonna tell you who, on the very off chance you want to go and see this thing for yourself. But aside from that, everything else looks fine. So, what does it matter if there are a few tremors? The planet looks fine. Oh, but we do get one character who steals stuff. I couldn't remember if she played any big part in this movie or not, because most of these characters look the exact same with their makeup effects. But outside of her, who cares? It's obvious, to me, that this story wasn't meant to be taken seriously. And I would've not minded that, except you have to have some sort of charm and wit to your story. I can recall a couple of movies that I covered for this series that didn't have it's story taken seriously. I'm talking about movies such as "City Hunter" and "The Villain", where they were self aware that their story was either lackluster, or didn't have a serious story to boot. But, you see, the difference between those movies and this one is that, both movies I mentioned had that level of charm and wit. And they also had something happening that made you want to keep watching. This movie, however, doesn't have any of that. This movie is boring, if anything else. And what level of 'humor', and I'm gonna use the term 'humor' as loosely as possible because there wasn't any humor in in this movie, goes completely wasted. Speaking of something happening, we also have a ton of padding in this movie. We have long scenes of characters talking, and almost nothing of value happens with these interactions. Especially with our main character, Tracy Daniels, and Queen Venor, where we have this one scene with them together, and this conversation lasts way too fucking long. It was suppose to establish them trying to figure out who would steal the jewels, but the scene just goes on and on, and it doesn't really go anywhere. Speaking of things that go nowhere, we also have this three minute dream sequence that makes no fucking sense. If it was suppose to be weird and trippy, then that's all this movie accomplished with that sequence. That, and it just wanted to fill in time that didn't need to be there. Going back to Queen Venor for a moment, we also have this drawn out chase sequence involving her and Princess Angel, and, in a couple of shots, it's either slowing down, or speeding up. I'm going to assume that it was suppose to be played up for laughs, but it didn't really do anything for me. And while this chase scene is going on, apparently, our main characters forgot their mission, because they have to play this drag queen show, and their singing was awful. Guys, writing in this movie is terrible, and the long, drawn out padding doesn't help either.

Now, let's talk about the acting. Now, prior to going into this movie, I found out that the entire cast is mainly filled with drag queens. And it certainly shows, because none of these people know how to act. And I'm not saying that because they're drag queens, I'm saying that NOBODY in this cast has ever taken acting lessons in their life. You'll have either two different sides to this kind of acting. Wooden or hammy. And unfortunately, neither one of them works, because none of it has any real charm, and it comes across as them just phoning it in. Part of that has to do with the fact that, as I've stated earlier, almost everyone's dialogue in this movie sounds the exact same. And even with their performances, it sounds no different, because almost all of them sound the exact same way. They talk the exact same way. None of these actors sound any different, and they were all given a script that is completely devoid of life and personality. Now granted, the other two Troma films I covered for this series didn't have the best acting in the world, but at least they put in some level of effort. Not here, though. Nobody tried. Nobody gave a shit. And because they almost all sound like the exact same person, their performances in this movie makes this thing even harder to watch. So, acting in this thing is atrocious from top to bottom.

I don't normally ever talk about this in my reviews, but I want to talk about the sets in this movie. Now, I totally understand that this movie was filmed on a low budget, as is the case with Troma films, but I honestly thought they could do better than this. Apparently, in 1991, that wasn't the case. The sets in this movie are cheap as shit. First of all, I want to talk about the planet of Clitoris. Because, we are treated to a few second units shots in this movie where we get to see the outer part of their homeworld. And, I am not kidding when I say this, when you see this planet from those angles, it literally looks like a children's play set. It looks so terrible that if you want to see how bad this thing looks, then check out this movie, if for no other reason, then just to see how bad these shots of this planet look from those angles. Now, while I'm on the subject of the planet Clitoris, what about the rest of the sets? Well, I want you to imagine yourself going to a shitty looking sci-fi convention, where you have a ton of really cheap looking booths that are sold by nobody, except drag queens. You get this movie. The sets on this planet looks so cheap and so terrible, to a point where I honestly thought it was run by the same retards who invented Dashcon. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, go look up the story of Dashcon on YouTube, it's...rather interesting. But anyway, that's what I was thinking about, at one point. But, unlike Dashcon, at least this movie wasn't cancelled. So, at least I can give the movie that much. But that still doesn't excuse the terrible job that went into these sets.

Moving onto special effects. Special effects in this movie are a ridiculously mixed bag. I want to make a note that the costuming and makeup effects were done by the movie's star, Doris Fish, who also plays Captain Tracy Daniels. And I will say that, at least, the costuming and makeup effects are decent. They really do make the movie look kinda unique. Granted, it's nothing special, but at least it works, and if there's one thing that this movie did well enough in terms of special effects, it would have to be the costumes and the makeup effects. Everything else, though...looks cheap and shit. One scene, in particular, that really caught my attention was towards the end of the movie. Where we get to see the space cadets ship blasting off from the toy set planet of Clitoris. And the ship, itself, when you see it blasting off, looks like a bottle rocket. It looks so cheap, that it could be seen as the one lone effect, for me anyway, that was kinda laughable. But, even then, it still did not look good at all. So, special effects in this thing are a mixed bag, at best.

Camerawork here is OK. Lighting, in most shots, looks fine. It could've been lit a little bit better, but it's not enough for me to knock on the lighting too much. Sound-mix here is decent. Music, I will say is also a mixed bag. For the score, at times, it sounds like something I would hear from either a video game on the Super Nintendo and the SEGA Genesis. It's...OK, I guess. But ultimately, it's nothing special. The songs, however, are really good. And I'm mainly talking about the opening song, and the song that plays during the ending credits. I'm not counting the song that our space cadets/drag queens sing towards the end of the film, because that singing was shit. But that's more so on the acting. So I guess I can add that to things that our main drag queen cast can't do.

Ultimately, guys, am I able to recommend "Vegas in Space"? No. Unless if you're into bad movies, then that's the only way I can recommend this thing, is if you have friends over on a bad movie night, and you want to riff on something, then go ahead and check out this thing. However, for everyone else, avoid this thing at all costs. If you're a fan of Troma, and you haven't had a chance to watch this thing yet, do not waste your time on it. It's an hour and 27 minutes that you'll never get back. And I'm really disappointed in Troma for them even considering releasing something this god awful under their name. It's just...what the fuck did you see in this thing, Lloyd Kaufman? What made you think that this movie was even worth putting under the Troma name? I know I'm probably never gonna get an answer from him, but still, I would like some form of an answer. This movie was fucking garbage on almost every single level. And now that I've finally watched this thing, I never have to see it ever again. Now, I'm gonna go watch a better film from Troma. In fact, I'm gonna pop in the only movie I have on DVD that was put out by them. I'm gonna go watch my copy of "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.". Because I need to be reminded of the good Troma films, and not...this pile of shit that I wasted the time on.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Osmosis Jones

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a family film from 2001. That movie is "Osmosis Jones".

I'd like to start by saying that I have seen the TV show that this thing later got, which was "Ozzy and Drix". I remember watching it back when it first aired on Kids' WB, and I really enjoyed it. In fact, prior to going into this movie, I went ahead and rewatched most of the first season of "Ozzy and Drix" on YouTube. And, for the most part, the show does hold up rather well. There was one episode, however, that I couldn't find. I couldn't tell you if it was from season 1 or 2, but it was an episode where it involved Hector, the human character, smoking. Which is a shame, because that episode was really good.

Now, while I have seen the TV show, I never got around to watching the movie where it originated from. And I'm not totally sure why. I remember, back as a kid, watching the ads for it when it aired on TV, and I thought to myself "Well, that's certainly a thing". And I never really thought about it again, even when I was watching "Ozzy and Drix". But tonight, I finally get a chance to see this movie and see if I missed out on something really good. In fact, now that I think about it, this movie came out 20 years ago, so...holy shit, I can't believe this movie is 20 years old already. I'm sorry, guys, but knowing that fact now is fucking mind blowing to me.

Now, setting aside how long ago this movie came out, I do know that this movie is a hybrid of both live action and hand drawn animation. Which is nothing new to Warner Bros., because they have done this kind of thing before. We got "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", which was really good. "Space Jam", while ridiculously overrated, is still halfway decent. By the way, on the off chance anybody asks me about "Space Jam: A New Legacy", no, I have no interest in ever watching it. So you'll probably never see me cover it for this series. And then we got "Looney Tunes: Back in Action", which I thought was amazing. So, I know that Warner Bros. can do some amazing stuff, whenever they are tasked to work on anything involving a mixture of both live action and animation.

I don't know where "Osmosis Jones" is going to rank amongst those movies, but I'm certainly hoping for it to be as good as those other movies I've just mentioned. And the only way I'm going to find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Osmosis Jones".

3 minutes later

So, let me see if I understand this. Frank was fighting with this monkey, after it stole his egg that he was about to eat. Ignoring the fact that it dropped on the ground, where it's covered in dirt, and him saying that you can still eat it before the 10 seconds after you drop your food on the ground, the egg was already in the monkey's mouth. Did Frank not notice that, as he was trying to wrestle the monkey to get his egg back? If it were me, guys, I would totally let the monkey have the egg, so I can just go get a new one. That, guys, is just incredibly unsanitary.

16 minutes later

So the stomach area is, basically, this movie's version of an airport...all right. That's certainly creative. I can definitely say that. I'm wondering how you get out, though-never mind! I don't wanna think about that. There are too many possibilities with that scenario. I'm just NOT gonna think about that.

8 minutes later

OK, guys, I know this has nothing to do with the movie itself, but I'm curious. Is it often that you see camels at the zoo? I mean, granted, I haven't been to too many zoo's in my lifetime, but I don't recall ever seeing camels there when I was a kid. Again, I totally understand that what I'm asking is trivial, and stupid, but I'm just sorta curious, you know?

2 minutes later

Well, guys...even though this is a family film, that was probably the most gruesome death I have seen in this movie so far. I can't call it bloody, because, obviously, they would never show that, but it was certainly messy. And pretty cool, too.

11 minutes later

OK, I have a question. How the hell did this mayor ever get elected in the first place? Because, what he just promoted a minute ago was a chicken wing festival in Buffalo, New York. So, instead of trying to come up with something that's, at least, sorta balanced between getting healthier and checking out this virus that is, potentially, on the loose somewhere in the city of Frank, he just decides to go "Hey everybody, I present to you a chicken wing festival in Buffalo, New York". My God, how the hell did this guy get elected?! I'm really curious here.

14 minutes later

Well, guys, I think now might be a good time to mention this. The music in this thing is really good. Granted, I'm not really the biggest fan of hip-hop, but this music is certainly, kinda, catchy. I'm really digging it so far.

4 minutes later

Now, I have a question. It's kind of a stupid one, but I feel the need to ask it anyway. So, if Thrax has killed human beings before from the inside of their bodies, then how the hell is he able to travel from body to body after they die? I understand that it's a family film, and most children are not going to notice these sorts of issues, but, since I'm not a child, it's kinda bugging me, slightly.

14 minutes later

So, guys, you happen to remember earlier when I was about to make a snarky remark about how you get out of the human body, after you get into it? Well, I was sort of right. It's incredibly predictable, but at least I was right.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Osmosis Jones". Let me shut the movie off...OK. Well, I will start by saying that this movie was pretty good. I really liked what was here. It's certainly a really unique film, even for the standards of Warner Bros. animation. Now, mind you, this movie is nowhere near as good as, say, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" or "Looney Tunes: Back in Action". But I will say it is a little bit better than "Space Jam". Partially because, I wasn't that big on "Space Jam" like most others. But that's neither here nor there. I should start by talking about the writing.

Writing in this movie, for the most part, is pretty good. There are some small problems, when it comes to the writing. And when I say that, I mean most of it's going to be minor, especially for those who have never seen "Ozzy and Drix", the TV show that this movie would later spawn. Now, I'm going to try to keep the comparisons to a minimum, because I want to judge this movie by it's own standards. But there will be two big examples I will bring up later on in this review, when I do make my comparisons to "Ozzy and Drix". I would like to start by saying that this movie, on several occasions, will try to shoehorn in a message by saying that we should be taking care of our bodies, such as eating right. And for kids, that is a fantastic message. Because this is the kind of stuff that kids should be learning. However, for adults who already know about this, it's kind of forced and unnecessary. Now, if you're someone who is trying to stay healthy, then you're probably the exception, because this movie will remind you to stay in shape and eat right. And, I will say that, when it comes to giving out a message, especially for a family film, this movie kinda does it in a subtle fashion. Especially when compared to other family and kids movies that I've seen, who try to force in a message about stuff such as saving the environment. Because that was one of the biggest ham-fisted messages that movies and TV shows were trying to shoehorn in the mid to late 90's. One other example I can think of is when Studio Ghibli tries to work in a message in their movies. Now, it's not all of the time. And, admittedly, some of it is hidden in a subtle fashion such as "The Cat Returns". In which, the message that movie was trying to give out was always follow your dreams, and that's totally fine. The worst case example, however, was when "Princess Mononoke tried to work in that message about how we should save the environment, and how we should stop killing trees. And that movie kept bludgeoning in that message throughout most of the movie. And it kinda took me out of the film, slightly, because it tried too hard to preach it's message. So, my point is, if you have a message, at least keep it subtle. And this movie certainly is one of the least bad examples of preaching a message to it's viewers.

However...with all that being said, this is going to lead to one of the first of two big comparisons I'm going to make to "Ozzy and Drix". And this has to do with the character of Frank, which is Bill Murray's character in this movie. I could totally see why Warner Bros. wanted to have a different main human character for "Ozzy and Drix". Because, Frank, in this movie, is not all that likable. Because he's seen as this person who keeps eating a ton of junk food such as chicken wings. And his personality doesn't really change all that much for the entire movie. The only way that it will change is when someone from inside his brain will speak to him as his conscience. Now, you could make the argument that the reason why Frank is not that likable has to do with the mayor of Frank, who insists on going to this chicken wing festival in Buffalo, New York. You know, the same mayor, that, somehow, got elected and is, probably, the reason why Frank is like this, both health wise and personality. Which, OK, I could totally see why that is. However, what sorta kills that theory is when, at the very end of the movie, without going too much into spoilers, he goes on this hiking trip with his daughter, and he ends up eating a carrot that his daughter offers him. And he says that this is a new start for him. Well, that would be a nice ending. However...and this is going to be a bit of a spoiler for the TV show, at the start of the very first episode, Frank is sitting on a chair while eating a ton of junk food. Things such as chicken wings, burgers, pizza, that kind of stuff. And when this movie was trying to make Frank sympathetic towards the end of the movie, it kinda kills it for me, because I know what happens to him at the start of "Ozzy and Drix". So, it kinda makes this, sorta, happy ending wasted. Because Frank goes back to his old ways. While I'm on the subject of Frank, the writing in this movie, at one point, goes pitch black in terms of tone. And it stands out, because the movie was going at a pace of being light-hearted, while working in some of it's darker humor. I'll get more into that when I talk about humor. But anyway, when Frank is in the hospital, there is one moment that the writing becomes incredibly dark, and, as I said, it stands out, and it might take you out of the movie some. Again, I can't really say how without going into spoilers, but I do have to warn you that some of this pitch black writing, that lasts about two minutes or so, could take you out of the movie some. So, you have been warned, on the off chance you haven't seen this movie yet.

I suppose that, since I just mentioned it, let me talk about the movie's humor. Because this movie has a lot of jokes here that were intended for adults. Some of it is really clever, and it kinda made me smile some. So, I can definitely say that if you're an adult, and you like to see some risque adult humor in your family films, this movie offers a ton of that. And that's not to say that kids won't enjoy this movie's humor. They definitely will get a kick out some of the adult humor, too. Provided, of course, if they understand the jokes. If not, then it will probably take a couple of years before they can understand any of the adult humor. Outside of the adult humor, there's also enough humor that will cater to kids, because, since this is a family film, you want to have enough to balance both sides of the spectrum. So there's enough humor here for kids and for adults to enjoy, so it's not like you'll have to worry about being one-sided when it comes to humor. Speaking of which, let's get to the characters. Osmosis Jones, or Jones, or Ozzy, whatever you want to call him, is a white blood cell cop that is serving the FPD, that is responsible for keeping the city of Frank safe. His character is very fleshed out, and he ends up being rather likable. Now, while I have mentioned the humor in this movie being really good, there is one bit of it that I didn't like. And that's whenever Jones has to spew out Pop Culture references that are either dated, or not funny in the slightest. Because, to me, one of the laziest ways anyone can write humor, is when you have to shoehorn in a bunch of Pop Culture references. You know, the kind of shit that Friedberg and Seltzer usually do in their movies, where they'll spew out references and they have to directly announce what they are trying to reference. At least here, we don't have any of that bullshit in this movie. However, I do still think that it's lazy, when someone has to write in Pop Culture references for the sake of humor. And they could've done without that here. As for Drix, he's a cold pill that ends up being Jones' partner. And, I have to say, Drix is probably my favorite character in this movie. Especially when he has to do some really funny stuff, such as whenever he's trying to dance. And some of this is probably the funniest shit in the entire movie, because I almost laughed out loud every time he tries to dance. It really is some of the funniest bits in this movie, and I can guarantee that you'll probably end up getting a laugh out of Drix's dancing, too. As for the human characters, the adults are not all that likable. The only likable human character in this movie is Frank's daughter, Shane. Who, even though she's suppose to be 10 years old, she talks like she's 18. And that, to me, seemed a little bit odd. But honestly, I'm not even going to consider it a negative. It's just kinda noticeable to me. And most other people will probably not notice that, or even care. So, I will say that, while the writing suffers from several bumps, it's not enough to bring the entire movie down. But it is certainly noticeable, if you go into this movie like I did.

With that out of the way, let's talk about the acting. Now, since this is a hybrid of both live action and hand drawn animation, I have to divide the acting into two different parts. I'll start by talking about the live action segments. The acting from there is really solid. Bill Murray, is, usually, really good at what he does. In fact, you could almost give him any kind bad script, and he'll turn it into solid gold. That's how good he really is. His character daughter in this movie is also really good, too. Which is stellar, because she would normally fall into the category of child actors who can barely act, if at all. But she does a good enough job to where she turns in a remarkable showing. Acting from the rest of the live action cast does great here, too. They were able to turn in some solid performances here. As with the voice acting from inside Frank's body, most of them do a really good job here, too. Chris Rock is able to shine well as Osmosis Jones. One actor I was kinda leery about, going into this movie, was David Hyde Pierce as the voice of Drix. Because, being that I have seen "Ozzy and Drix", I wasn't sure if he was the right actor to take on this kind of role, being that I have Drix's voice from the TV show memorized. However, he was able to show me that he could turn in a solid performance as Drix. And whoever did voice Drix from the TV show also did a good enough job to where he sounds close enough like David Hyde Pierce. As with everyone else in terms of the voice acting department, they did a really good job here, too. So, acting from both sides of the spectrum, is great. So, I can definitely say that all of the actors did a great job, given the scripts that they were given.

Animation in this thing is really good. I really like the attention to detail of how the inside of Frank's body operates as a living city. That, to me, I always found to be a really cool concept. And this movie certainly does take advantage of that. The art style is really good, and the character designs look unique and different to where none of it looks the same, especially considering that the majority of the character designs are white blood cells. This movie also utilizes a ton of CG, and, for the most part, the CG is rendered really well. However, there is one scene that looked kinda bad in CG. It's during the final climax of the movie, where Jones is hanging below Frank's eyelashes. And the CG on Frank's eyelashes looks...really bad. And, I mean, it looks really bad, even by the standards of 2001. So, I will say that, while that one scene of CG looks terrible, everything else looks great. In fact, this movie still looks really good, animation wise, 20 years later, and that is always awesome to see. However...I did notice something, with regards to the animation. And this is where my second comparison with "Ozzy and Drix" will come into play. Now, I want to make a mention that this is not really a fault of the movie. But more so of the TV show, because I feel like it's worth mentioning.

I gotta say that, watching this movie now, 20 years later, I noticed that the animation in this movie, when compared to "Ozzy and Drix", is incredibly jarring. And I'm not talking about jarring in terms of the animation budget. Because that happens when an animated movie gets it's own animated series. It will always look slightly less impressive, when compared to it's movie counterpart. What I'm referring to is when an animated series uses stock footage. For those who have never seen "Ozzy and Drix", in the very early season of that show, especially the first episode, the show will resort to using stock footage from this movie into it's series. So, you will have footage of when the movie first enter's Frank's body, and you see the population sign of "Welcome to Frank. Population: insert giant number here". And you'll also have footage of Jones and Drix driving together. And that one is especially noticeable, because, in the movie, Drix is rendered in CG. In the animated series, Drix is all hand drawn. And it's so jarring to see that, because "Ozzy and Drix" never utilizes CG. All of it is 2D animation. At least, the first season is. Who knows? Maybe somewhere in season 2, the show will utilize CG at some point. But anyway, we'll also have shots of the inside of Frank's mouth, which is also taken from the movie and used into the TV show. Or you'll have a shot of two white blood cell cops together, as they get a call from the police chief from within their patrol car. And the show will utilize that footage from the movie twice, maybe three times, into it's series. And it's really noticeable, at least to me, how the early first season of "Ozzy and Drix" was so cheap, that they had to utilize stock footage from this movie. Now, I should mention that, all of what I've mentioned is going to be absolutely trivial, and fucking stupid, to most people, especially to those who have never seen "Ozzy and Drix". And even if you do notice it, because you have seen it, you probably won't care about it either, because it's mostly just the early first season's episodes that takes footage from the movie. Most of everything after that is original footage utilized for the TV show. So again, all of what I just mentioned is more of a flaw on the TV show, rather than the movie. And this movie's animation, outside of one scene involving CG, is really good.

Camerawork in the live action segments is really good. Lighting here is done really well. Sound-mix is mostly competent. I will say, though, that there might've been one line of dialogue that is missing from this movie. And it's during one scene where Thrax, the main villain of the movie, has the Mayor's secretary hostage. And Jones, I think, was suppose to say something to him, but nothing came out of his mouth. I'm going to assume that was a fuck up on sound somewhere. I don't know if this was a problem on VHS or Blu-ray. But I will say that it was noticeable on the DVD that I bought. But it was just one line of dialogue, so I'm not gonna fault the movie too much on that. The soundtrack in this movie is pretty good. In fact, when I bought this movie on DVD, 'used' I might add, it came with a bonus sampler CD of songs from the movie. So, I can tell you who is a part of the soundtrack for this movie. We got Sugar Ray, P.O.D., Willa Ford, Craig David, Ray J, Little T and One Track Mike, Nappy Roots, and Invertigo. I only recognize two names on here, which was Sugar Ray and P.O.D. Everyone else I can write off as I have no fucking clue who they are. But I do know that P.O.D.'s music is pretty good. Sugar Ray, I haven't listened to much of his music. But I will say that what is here in terms of the soundtrack is pretty good. And I may give the soundtrack a listen to at some point.

Ultimately, guys, am I able to recommend "Osmosis Jones"? If you have kids, yes. This film is definitely an interesting movie. And even for adults, they definitely will get into this thing with it's, mostly, well written adult humor. If you're someone who's a health nut, and if you're interested in studying health, then I can probably recommend this movie to you. However, I do have to warn you again that there is that one moment in pitch black writing that can turn some viewers off. Plus, some of the Pop Culture references are incredibly stupid and dated at this point. But aside from that, I can still recommend this movie enough to where you'll get something out of the movie's writing. Now, with the comparisons and mentions I've made with "Ozzy and Drix", the question is do you have to watch this movie first in order to get into the TV show? The answer to that is no, because I've already made mention that I've seen the TV show before watching the movie. However, if you do what I did, then you might notice the inconsistencies between the movie and TV show. But, even then, both are still really enjoyable. In fact, now I kinda want to go and marathon the entire second season of "Ozzy and Drix" right now. So I'm gonna go do that, and this thing is going to have a happy spot on my DVD shelf.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.