Reaction & Review | Zombies vs. Strippers

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction and Review. Tonight guys, I'm going to be checking out a horror comedy from 2012. That movie is "Zombies vs. Strippers".

About the only thing I can tell you about this movie is the studio that put it out. You see, this movie was put out by Full Moon Features. For those who don't know, Full Moon is mostly known for putting out the "Puppet Master" films. I have seen a majority of the "Puppet Master" movies, and, for the the most part, I have greatly enjoyed them, save for "Curse of the Puppet Master". And I've always wanted to see what else Full Moon had in their catalog. In fact, the only other film that I remember watching from them was a film called "Hell Asylum", which ended up being fucking terrible. So we're not exactly off to a great start. But hopefully, tonight's movie will change that.

I don't know anything about this movie, other than what I picked up from the title. It involves zombies, it involves strippers, and it's a horror comedy. Thinking about it, the only other horror comedy that I watched that had to do with zombies was "All Cheerleaders Die", which was completely devoid of comedy, so maybe that wasn't the best example.

But I'm still hoping for this movie to be watchable. And as long as I can get that much, then I think we'll be fine. But the only way I'll know if this movie is in any way watchable, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm going to do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Zombies vs. Strippers".

12 minutes later

Well guys, I can tell you that the music in this thing sucks so much that, not only do we have bored, half asleep zombies, but they don't give a shit about the stripper that's almost naked. And I can tell you that they're zombies because of the obvious moans that zombies make. So far, guys, this movie's kinda off to a bad start.

2 minutes later

OK. Well, that's new. I've never seen a zombie bite off another zombie's finger off. That was...certainly different.

19 minutes later

You know, I would say that this movie is finally starting to get interesting because this guy's hand just got bitten by one of these zombies. But honestly, it hasn't. I'm still hoping for this movie to get more interesting than that, but as of right now, I'm beginning to have my doubts.

12 minutes later

Did this idiot seriously slap that gun out of this guy's hand? Dude, I don't care if your band members have become zombies, that still isn't an excuse for you to slap the gun out of his hand. I swear, guys, if this jackass doesn't die before this movie is over, I'm going to be pissed.

10 minutes later

And as soon as these two flee the front door, one of them is immediately getting mauled on. And.....the other one is now dead. Well, I can't say feel sorry for either one of them, because they were both shallow and lifeless. Then again, no one here has any real character to speak of, but I'll save that for when this movie is done.

The Review

Well guys, that was "Zombies vs. Strippers". Let me shut that off...OK. Dear god, where the hell to start? Well, I guess I should start with, what I usually start with, and that is the writing.

Let me start off by saying this. When it comes to zombie films, I'm not expecting an ultra deep story with well developed characters. Why? Because it just doesn't happen with zombie movies. It might, but it's very rare. Now mind you, this is coming from someone who doesn't watch a lot of zombie films or TV shows. And the big reason is, I'm sick and tired of zombies in general. So you then might be asking why the hell would I even bother with this movie? Well, I saw the trailer for this thing a few months back and it looked kinda interesting. Not great, but interesting enough to warrant me in checking out this movie. Granted, after watching this, it didn't work. But I should probably get into the writing.

Our story here borders on plotless. The closest thing we have to a plot is that we have our main character, Spider, who owns a strip club known as The Tough Titty. And yes, that is the actual name of the strip club. And basically, his strip club is deep in debt and has no way to pay it off, so he decides to say fuck it, and have a party with the few people left who are employed at this strip club. And as for our zombie breakout, we don't really get an explanation as to how this started. The closest thing we have is a news report on TV where the police can't contain all of these riots going on, and then it just goes straight into zombie apocalypse territory. And that's kinda it in terms of story. Now as I just stated, I'm not expecting deep plots when you're doing a zombie film, but you kinda want to have characters to sorta care about. I'm not asking for deep, deep characters, but give me a reason to care about what's going to happen to them. And this movie couldn't do that. Let me try summarize the crux of characters.

I already mentioned Spider and how he is the owner of the strip club. We have Sugar, who, I guess, is somewhat of a love interest of Spider, though they never show it. Bambi, who probably has her breasts shown for most of the movie. Jasmine, who's honestly the most retarded character in the entire movie, but I'll talk about her later. And then we have Vanilla, who plays the most stereotypical black character where she either curses or calls a couple of Caucasian characters 'crackers'. Or 'crackas', the wording is a little weird there.

And that's basically it in terms of characters. Well, there are a couple of other characters that I do think are worth mentioning. Marvin and Red Wings. Which will lead me to one of my biggest problems with writing. Logic issues.

The biggest one that I can think is when Red Wings noticed Marvin being taken into a room by Jasmine after she hears that people are being turned into zombies by being bitten. And throughout the entire time that she's giving him a lap dance, because she thinks it's their last night on Earth, she doesn't do anything to try and, I don't know, kill him as soon as he's dead. I could easily make the argument and say that she's a dumb blonde and leave it at that, but that would be a fucking insult to dumb blondes, because even they are not this retarded. Also, when Red Wings said that people were turning into zombies by being bitten, how come he didn't notice the bite on Marvin's hand when Jasmine was taking him away from the group. Why didn't he just stop her there and also asked if he was bitten? Or better yet, just shoot him before he had a chance to turn? Unless Red Wings was blind, then he could've easily noticed the bite mark on Marvin's hand. Guys, it's these kinds of logic issues that make this movie almost hurt to watch. On top of that, all of our characters here are shallow and lifeless. None of them have a silk of personality to them to speak of.

Which brings me to the acting. Almost everyone turns in a wooden and hammy showing. And it's not the good kind of hammy acting either. What I mean by that is, you will have a couple of strippers screaming and it comes off as fake, especially towards the end of the movie. I can probably name at least two or three actors who turned in a passable showing. And those would be whoever played Red Wings and Vanilla, despite the stereotypical characterization of her character. Those two knew what they were doing. And the guy who once called himself Ramboner, and no, I'm not kidding about that name, also kinda knew what he was doing. But everyone else turned in a shitty showing, but that's partially because the script they were given kinda sucked. And because the cast was given a terrible script, they didn't have much of anything to work with. It was a miracle that even a handful of actors were able to turn in some kind of showing.

Special effects in this movie are OK. Some of the practical blood is pretty good. The only bad special effects I can recall are whenever someone fires a gun at a zombie, and the gunshots are really cheap and kind of shit. But that's about it. Makeup effects, what little makeup there is, is also OK. It isn't anything special, but I wouldn't call it horrible either.

Camerawork is really good. Lighting is well lit. The sound-mix is almost well done. There's a character in this movie named Rudy, who speaks with a voice box. And a couple of his lines are hard to make out because of the pitch of the voice box. Mind you, he doesn't have a lot of lines in the movie, so it's not like you'll be stuck listening to his dialogue for too long. Music, however, sucks, because most, if not all of it, is just really shitty night club music. Well, then again, night club music sucks in general, so I guess I'm not expecting too much in that department.

Ultimately guys, am I able to recommend "Zombies vs. Strippers"? No. The only way I could maybe recommend it is if you like seeing girls with naked boobs, then rock on. However, if you're here for something more than that, then no, I can't recommend it beyond that. This movie is certainly bad. However, if I had to be honest, it's far from the worst thing I have seen from Full Moon. In fact, if I had to really think about it, I would say this is somewhat better than "Curse of the Puppet Master" and "Hell Asylum". However, that's not saying very much because this movie still sucked. But I am happy to say that I didn't have to pay any money to watch this, because the movie is free on Full Moon's website. So if you absolutely have to watch this movie, then go right ahead, it's on there right now. But I assure you, there are far better horror comedies you can watch, and this movie certainly isn't that.

Anyway guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care. And I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Robogeisha

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight guys, I'm checking out a Japanese Sci-Fi action movie from 2009. That movie is "Robogeisha".

Now, for those who don't know, "Robogeisha" is made by a studio called Fever Productions, who known for making over the top Japanese movies with tons and tons of gore. In fact, on the front of the DVD cover, they list the two movies that I have seen from this studio. Those films being "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police". I really liked "The Machine Girl", and "Tokyo Gore Police, while I think that movie ran a little bit too long for my tastes, it was still an entertaining film.

The other thing I know about this movie is what I read on the back of the case. Allow me to quote what it says.

"The twisted geniuses behind "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police" present a tale of sibling rivalry, chainsaw faces, machine gun boobs, and butt blades."

Now I'm willing to buy the chainsaw faces and the machine gun boobs, but butt blades is something I am sort of curious about. And the only way I will know how they will work, or if this movie will be any good, is if I shut up, and I push play. And I'm going to do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back relax, and check out "Robogeisha".

18 minutes later

You know, guys. I totally understand that this movie is trying to be a comedy. But so far, it hasn't really worked. I'm certainly hoping for the movie to get better, well, at least the jokes, anyway. But right now, they kinda have been misfires.

18 minutes later

Wait. Where did that gun come from?! Seriously, where the hell did that thing come from? I'm rather curious about that.

2 minutes later

Well guys, I just got my first look of the machine gun boobs in action and...it was OK. Granted, it wasn't great, but it was at least something interesting.

2 minutes later

So in order to use these armpit blades, you have to strike a sexy pose in order for them to come out. OK. It's kinda stupid. And it probably would've been better if the special effects for them didn't look like shit, but I guess maybe I'm asking for too much.

2 minutes later

Agh...OK. That was rather nasty. I didn't expect a sword stab from a bleeding asshole. It certainly was rather nasty.

17 minutes later

Wow. OK. Never I thought I would see someone getting tempura jammed into their eyes. That was certainly creative and possibly one of the better special effects I've seen in this movie so far.

10 minutes later

Wait a second here. So, how did Yoshie get booted up again? We saw her being shut down earlier by these old people. I'm really kinda curious guys, it's beginning to bug me a little bit.

2 minutes later

All right, that is pretty fucking cool. She's able to turn her lower body into a tank with that guitar and I actually rather like that.

6 minutes later

And now, I'm seeing this demon tower crushing buildings that are squirting out blood...again, it's certainly different. Don't know why the buildings need to be busting out blood. It's certainly rather nasty.

The Review

All right. Well guys, that was "Robogeisha". Let me shut that off...OK. Where the hell do I even start? I guess I should start by saying this. This movie is definitely not as good as I thought it was going to be. I guess maybe it's because of the fact that the two movies I watched before this, "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police" were both that good. So I had my expectations set pretty high. But unfortunately, it didn't quite meet those standards.

I guess I should start off by talking about the writing. Our story here is actually OK. Because it involves our main character, Yoshie, and her older sister, Kikue, who is a geisha in training. She wants to be a geisha herself and you get to see development on how Yoshie and Kikue both want to be geisha's, which is where the rivalry kinda starts. Later on, they get invited to this corporation where they are turned into androids, and thus they get upgrades and such to try to 1-up themselves.

Now the plot, as I just stated, is OK, and it does kinda work. Because we do have some rather decent development between the two sisters. But I think the biggest problem is that the movie doesn't know what it wants to be. You might've noticed during the start of the reaction portion, I said that this movie was trying to aim for a comedy. And unfortunately, it fails at being that. There were maybe like, one, or two moments where I kinda got a chuckle, but nothing that was laugh out loud funny. But for the most part, the movie wants to mix in drama in certain parts, such as the scene with the elder people. Without going into spoilers as to their agenda in the movie, it seems like the movie wanted to focus more on them, but it doesn't really work. And because the movie wanted to mix two, well technically four with Sci-fi and action, different genres in here, it comes off as kind of a mess.

And being that this is from the same studio that made "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police", I'm going to briefly explain what those two movies were trying to be. "The Machine Girl" was a straight-up revenge film with goofy, over the top action scenes. And moments where the story took itself seriously, but not too seriously. "Tokyo Gore Police" was also in that same boat, while also treating itself as kind of a mystery film that kind of worked. And even though that film dragged on at times, the movie still knew what it wanted to be. This movie on the other hand, tries way too hard, at times, to take itself seriously, in a movie about a girl turning into an android geisha fighting against goblins with butt blades, machine gun boobs, and armpit blades. I'm sorry. But when I think of all of that, it's very difficult to turn that into a movie that tried to aim for drama as one of it's target genres.

On top of that, I had just thought about something that I overlooked in terms of comedy. And that is directly announcing what the characters are saying. What I mean by that is that you will have shots where if a character is being stabbed, they will say "I've been stabbed". If a character is bleeding, then a character will say "I'm bleeding". Because instead of letting the viewer know what is happening on screen, the actors have to tell you to you're face and say what they are experiencing. And if they were meant to be jokes, then they failed at that as well. I may not be an expert on comedy, but if there is one thing that is painfully obvious, you don't explain a joke to anyone. Because then, the joke instantly dies.

Now beyond all of that, I can say that the acting is pretty good. Now mind you, I am watching this with the subtitles, so I have to judge it based off of that. There are, like, several moments where there is a bit of hammy acting, but I can't say it's terrible and sorta works with a bit of the cheesiness of this movie. Now according to the back of the DVD case, there is an option to watch this with an English dub. I'm not totally sure if I will watch this thing a second time with the dub, but is an option, on the off chance you want to check this movie out for yourselves.

Now let's move on to, at least for me, the biggest issue I have with this movie, and that is the special effects...oh boy. I should mention that when you are watching B movies like these is that the one thing you should always expect is cheesy over the top kills with tons and tons of gore, and I know that's not going to be everyone's thing. However, the special effects in this movie are a ridiculous mixed bag. As I watching the movie, I decided to look up the movies budget. I had a feeling that this movie had a low budget, but when I did that, I noticed that the movie was made at around $250,000. Which is mind boggling to me, because I then have to ask, why do most of the special effects in this movie look so cheap? I could be lazy and say the special effects were done better in "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police", but I'm not gonna do that. And thinking about it, I may know why the special effects are so poor. And that's because most of it was done in CG. And that wouldn't really be a bad thing, if the special effects were halfway decent, but they aren't.

For example, the biggest one I can think of at the top of my mind at the armpit blades. Because Yoshie has to do her stupid dance in order for them to pop out, the blades pop out and go through two guys mouths. Now the blades themselves look fine, until the CG blood shows up and it looks terrible. It basically looks like it was poorly photoshopped. And as for the blood itself, a majority of it is CG. Which means that there isn't a ton of practical blood used in this movie. And that's kind of a shame, because the practical blood looked pretty good. And while I'm on that subject, the practical effects are done pretty well in terms of makeup effects, such as whenever someone is dressed up as a geisha, or when one of the goblins uses the devil's breast milk on someone, and no, I'm not kidding about that. The after-effects are rather good. It's just, I wish would've put more time and effort into the CG because, as I said, most of it looks cheap and lazy, with like one or two exceptions, such as when Yoshie's lower body turns into a tank as she's riding it, and that looked OK. But everything else just...eh, it's rather half assed.

Otherwise, camerawork is pretty good. The lighting is well lit. Sound-mix is competent. The music...isn't really that great, in fact I would say the both the score and soundtrack are rather weak in this area.

So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Robogeisha?" Um...I'm leaning towards no, however, I could maybe recommend it as a rental. If you can find this movie on, say, Netflix, Hulu, or if you find this movie cheap on DVD or Blu-ray. Because, I'm going to tell you this now. I found this at my local Mini Mall for about $13. And this movie is definitely not worth the $13 I spent to buy this thing. And unfortunately, this movie is, by far, the weakest film Fever Productions has ever put out. Which is rather shameful, because, I really wanted to like this movie. I really did. But unfortunately, it just didn't happen.

Now as for me, I think I kinda want to go and re-watch my copy of "Tokyo Gore Police", because at least that movie was halfway decent. At least, halfway decent when compared to this pile of mess.

Anyway guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen. Take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Vampire Hunter D

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight guys, I'm taking a look at a Japanese animated film from 1985. That movie is "Vampire Hunter D".

Now, I don't really know a whole lot about "Vampire Hunter D", other than what little information I did look up. I know that it is based on a novel series that was published in 1983, but the books never got released in the U.S. until 2005. So the only thing fans in the U.S. had to go on, until the first volume got released, was this movie.

I also know that this movie has a bit of an odd history. You see, the movie was only shown several times on TV in the U.S. It was aired on Cartoon Network, the Sci-Fi channel, and TBS. The first two makes sense. Cartoon Network being...well, Cartoon Network. The Sci-Fi channel, because they were cashing in on the massive late 80's anime boom. Though TBS is a rather strange choice, considering that it would be one of the last networks I would ever think of that would air anything anime-related.

I don't know anything about the plot to this movie, but I'm going to take a wild guess and say that it's about a guy who is hunting vampires for unknown reasons. Taking a wild guess on that one, don't ask why.

I also know one other thing about this movie. Now, this movie has two different English dubs. The first one is the original dub that was recorded in 1992, which is the one I'm going to be watching tonight. The second dub was released in 2015 by Sentai Filmworks when they re-released the movie on DVD and Blu-ray. For those that are not familiar, Sentai is known for releasing some, sometimes, questionable English dubs. One example I can think of is the English dub of "Parasyte." Mind you, I sorta enjoyed the dub of "Parasyte", but that's besides the point.

I am certainly hoping for this movie to be good, and I have heard good things about this movie and it's English dub, well the original dub. The Sentai dub, not so much. But anyway, I'm just stalling at this point. The only way I'm going to know if I will enjoy this movie or not, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm going to do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Vampire Hunter D".

3 minutes later

Well guys, the movie just started, and I just saw some chick blast, what I'm assuming is suppose to be half of a dinosaur's head clean off. Well, clean I guess isn't the right word to describe it, but it was certainly was rather cool.

30 seconds later

OK. Never mind, NOW it's dead. Well, I guess after three shots to it's torn off neck, you can never be too sure. At least, she had the common sense to check to make sure it was dead, though....now I'm seeing a werewolf snatch her dead horse away. So far guys, this movie's already off to an interesting start.

11 minutes later

You know guys, I am really loving Doris' whip. And she herself has been pretty badass, too. But seriously, I kinda want that whip.

10 minutes later

So one of these vampires that's after Doris has the ability warp space and time by just making D stab himself? OK. That is certainly different and creative. I kinda like that.

8 minutes later

OK, this is kinda bothering me a bit. I certainly hope we get an explanation about who this strange voice is that's talking to D. We've gotten no context as to who he his, and it's kinda bothering me a little.

4 minutes later

So let me see if I understand this, Rei is willing to let the doctor and Doris' brother go as long as Doris doesn't use her tongue to kill herself...I hope she had some sort of backup plan on how to do that, otherwise, these vampires are pretty stupid.

16 minutes later

So this Time Bewitching Incense is basically just like a giant flashlight that has the power to knock out vampires. OK. I was kinda expecting something more out of it, but I guess it gets the job done.

The Review

Well guys, that was "Vampire Hunter D" let's shut that off...OK. Um, where to even start? Well, I guess I should start by saying this. After watching this, I'm more inclined to pick up the books because this movie was actually pretty good. Though I guess I should start by talking about the writing.

Writing in this movie is fairly decent. Because we have our main character, D, who is a vampire hunter who gets hired by Doris. The reason being is that she was bitten by a vampire lord by the name of Count Lee Magus, who has lived for over 10,000 years. And because that she is infected by Magus' bite, she hires D to kill the Count so that the curse can be lifted off of her. I should mention that in this movie, the world is set in the future where mutants and other demonic creatures live in the world. Which is why we also saw a dinosaur getting it's head blasted off at the start of the movie, because that's the first thing I think of when I think of a future with demons and such, but it's honestly not a complaint. Just found it a little odd.

Now there are a couple of issues I do have with writing. One of them has to with D's left hand. You might've noticed during the reaction portion that I was hoping for the movie to give some kind of explanation as to who or what the voice was that talks to D. And...we don't really get that. In fact, now that I think about it, I don't think it even gets a name. Not only that, but we don't really get a ton of depth on D himself. The best we get is that during the movie, D is revealed to be a dhampir. Which, according to this movie, is a vampire that has human blood within him. OK. That sounds awesome. But I kinda wish we got more depth and backstory on how D became a vampire hunter. Or how he even got his powers.

Which leads me to my biggest problem with this movie, which is the film's runtime. The movie clocks in about an hour and 21 minutes long. Well, less than that, if you don't count the 2 or 3 minutes of credits. Because we have a short runtime, the movie doesn't have a lot of time to give a ton development to our characters. Now, for some characters like Doris and her little brother, Dan, it's perfectly fine. Because Doris has a reason to do the things she does, while Dan is basically there to give support to his sister and staying strong not to cry, because his sister has been infected and runs the risk of turning into a vampire herself.

Now, one could make an argument that there is more depth and backstory about D in the books, but that only reinforces my point that the movie could've expanded upon it a little more, so that we wouldn't have to rush through it with such a short runtime. Now technically, there is a somewhat of a twist towards the end of the film, but I can't talk about it due to spoilers. I will say that while it does reveal more about D, it still feels a little bit weak, at least to me. If this movie had gotten, say, 20 minutes longer to give a little bit of backstory, then I think the movie would've been great. However, we are stuck with what we got. So it is what it is.

One other minor issue I do have with writing has to do with the Time Bewitching Incense. Now, I'm not going to complain about the weapon itself, because after thinking about it again, it does make some level of sense. But what I can complain about is a small plot-hole, possibly lack thereof, but still worth mentioning, nonetheless. Now, one of the vampires in the movie, Rei, is given something known as the Time Bewitching Incense from the Count. It is said that it is a weapon that is helpful in killing D. During the second fight between Rei and D, Rei manages to swing the weapon at D, but it doesn't work, which results in Rei's arm getting sliced off. He then realizes that the weapon was a fake and that it must've been switched. OK. So...when did that happen? If it happened during the fight, then Greco, whom was the one that did have the real Time Bewitching Incense, must've switched it during that fight. Or did he steal it before the fight? It wasn't entirely explained very well on how he got his hands on it, so it seemed a little odd to me.

Mind you, now. The movie is still really good. Because we have a story that really is fascinating on it's own. Our characters here are developed decently enough, even with the short runtime. So it's not like you're going to get bored by it, because there's always something happening. So you will have our fight scenes with D and the various monsters as he is storming the Count's castle and all of it's done very, very well.

The acting. Now, as I stated earlier, I was watching the English Dub that was originally dubbed in 1992. And, the dub here, is actually pretty good. Mind you, there might a few people who probably never saw this dub because it was only aired several times back in the 90's. Now, I don't know if Sental Filmworks, when they re-released the movie on DVD and Blu-ray, gave an option in where you can pick which of the two English dubs you want to watch it with. If not, then most people who are getting into this movie for the first time are probably going to get the one English dub that was redone. Which would be a shame, because I remember when another Japanese film, "Akira", got a Blu-ray release, it gave you the option to watch with the older dub or the new dub, so that they can satisfy both fans. But I'm getting a bit off topic. The dub, as I said, is pretty good. Granted there are a couple of characters who give off some questionable accents, such as one of the other vampires, Lamika, who gives off a noticeable fake British accent. Or Dan, who gives off a bit southern accent, which is strange because his sister doesn't give off any kind of accent at all, but oh well. Beyond that, the acting in this dub is rather good, and does hold up pretty well today, at least it does, to me.

The animation is really good, especially considering that this movie came out in 1985. The characters designs are well done, especially on the monsters in the Count's castle. Because you do get a different variety each time, minus the cloaked druids, who as far as I know, don't really fight at all. The artistry is good. Overall, the animation is fantastic and it is definitely one of the high points of this movie.

The sound-mix is done very well, and the music does a decent job enough to set the mood during certain scenes. Though there are like one or two moments where the music sorta gets cut off very quickly during scene transitions, but those are very rare to find, and you'd have to be actively looking out for them. In which no one is going to notice it or even care, because it doesn't take you of the movie in any way.

So, ultimately guys, am I able to recommend "Vampire Hunter D"? Sure. I can totally recommend it. Especially for horror fans, because I know they will get a kick out of this. However, if you are not into horror themed films even if it's tied into anime, then you're probably going to want to avoid this. However, if you're able to look past all of that, then you have, what is essentially, a very good animated horror movie. I should also mention that there are two copies of this movie on YouTube, both with the original dub. So if you want to go ahead and check it out, it's on YouTube right now, at least by the time I have written this Reaction & Review that is.

As for me, I'm going to do something else. I think I'm going to watch my DVD copy of the first "Puppet Master" movie, because I'm kind in the mood for a a pretty good horror film.

Anyway guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Joint Security Area

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight guys, I'm checking out a South Korean mystery thriller from 2000. That movie is "Joint Security Area." Now technically, some websites and even on the front of the DVD titles it "J.S.A.: Joint Security Area". While other's simply call it "Joint Security Area." So for the purposes of Reaction & Review, I'm going to be calling it what it is called on IMDB and Wikipedia and just call it "Joint Security Area."

Now, from everything I picked up, the plot has to do with a couple of North Korean soldiers being killed between the North Korean and South Korean borders so it's up to someone from the NNSC, which stands for Neutral Nations Supervisory Commission, to investigate what transpired during that incident.

That, to me, sounds like an interesting premise. However, as I've already learned from the short time I have started this series, a good premise does not ever equal a good movie. And it could honestly just wind up being a pretentious mess. However, I have been exposed to good mystery films before such as "Clue: The Movie", which is one of the funniest mystery films I've ever seen. I'm not saying that "Joint Security Area" is going to be as good as "Clue The Movie", but there is that chance that this movie could wind up being really good.

And the only I'm going to know if this movie is any good or not, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm going to do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Joint Security Area".

16 minutes later

Agh...OK. Perhaps this is just me, but I have never seen a dead body look that pale before. I don't claim to be a medical expert, but I'm pretty sure that it would take more than 3 days for a dead body to look that pale. That's just creepy to look at.

14 minutes later

So this tourist took a couple of photo shots of this North Korean soldier, even though they were told straight from the American soldier guiding them that no photography was authorized in the area. And he doesn't get reprimanded in any way. I'm sorry, but if you're told not to take any photography within a said given area, then perhaps you should follow the advice and NOT take any shots. I totally understand I'm complaining about something so minor, but the fact that he got away with it without any consequences just kinda bothered me a bit, you know?

19 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm awfully sorry I haven't been saying very much. I'm just getting really sucked into the story here. I'm just almost anxiously waiting to see what happens next.

8 minutes later

Are they having a spitting contest across the North/South Korean border? My god they are.

20 minutes later

OK...that scene took a bit of a dark turn there. Wasn't really expecting that kind of reaction. Certainly came out of nowhere.

The Review

All right, well that was a bit of a downer ending, but anyway guys, that was "Joint Security Area" or "JSA: Joint Security Area", you can take your pick there. Let me shut that off...OK. You know, guys, I wasn't totally sure how good this movie was going to be, but my god, was it ever good. 

Before I get into the review itself, I do need to rectify one small error. At the start of this, I said that the incident in the movie took place between the North and South Korean borders. That summary is not entirely accurate. It actually took place at the DMZ, which is a small border house on the North Korean border. I know that it may not sound like much of an error, but I do feel that it was necessary to clarify that mistake.

Anyway, our story is here is great. Because we have our main female character, Major Sophie E. Jean, who is sent from the NNSC, to investigate a double murder case involving two dead North Korean soldiers and find out the truth about what really happened. Because both Sgt. Lee of the South Korean border and Sgt. Oh of the North Korean border give out both their version of their stories about what happened in the border house. Which later leads into a flashback account of Sgt. Lee, who we spend most of the time on in the movie.

So one night, Sgt. Lee and a bunch of other soldiers are on a scouting mission and one of the soldiers notices a North Korean fort and notices that they are in trouble if they get spotted, so they slowly retreat and Sgt. Lee gets left behind after wanting to take a piss. And no, I'm not joking about that. So as he begins to retreat with the others, he steps on a mine and realizes that he is fucked, because he can't take his foot off of it for obvious reasons. So he later gets spotted by a couple of North Korean soldiers, one of them being Sgt. Oh the other being Woo-Jin, and asks them for help because he realizes that this is the only help that he can get at this point. We then see later in the movie that he, a friend of his named Private Nam, befriend these two North Korean soldiers that helped out Sgt. Lee and the story is about the friendship of these four soldiers two of them representing their own country, even though both countries hate each other throughout their history. And the movie mostly sticks with this because it really does a fantastic job of really making you care about all four of these soldiers.

So if you couldn't, tell our characters are very fleshed out, and the movie goes into detail about their background. Which leads to my only small gripe with writing, and it has to do with Major Sophie, who honestly is the only one who gets the short end of the stick when it comes to character development. She's really only there to remain a neutral party, as per her job. And at one point, without going into spoilers, the movie tries to give her some development, but it comes off as a bit flimsy, thus really making her kind of shallow. So, chances are, you're not going to care a whole lot about her. Which I think was intentional, considering it focuses more on the investigation rather than herself.

But for the most, the writing here is really strong, and even though Major Sophie doesn't get a ton of depth, she still has enough screen-time as she does her investigation and learns more about what happened until she eventually learns the truth. And our mystery here works fine, though it really takes more of a backseat so that we can get a ton of character depth on our four soldiers, so I'm not going to complain about it too much.

Now, moving onto acting. Um...this is the one major flaw that I do have with this movie. And it, once again, has to do with the actress playing Major Sophie. There are a number of scenes where this movie has a ton of English dialogue. Well, before that, there is also one Swiss soldier who also has a little bit of English dialogue. Now, I'm not going to question the accent of the Swiss soldier in whether or not it is accurate, because I'm not an expert on the Swiss language. Also, I could've sworn there was one general or Sgt. who was giving off a German accent, but I'm getting off topic. There are moments where our main actress, who is played by Lee Young-ae, who I thankfully don't have to pronounce it while typing this, because I would probably end up butchering her name. But anyway, there are moments where Lee Young-ae has to speak her lines in English and it comes off as terribly stilted and robotic. Now I can forgive most of that, because it's very possible that she wasn't very fluent with her English. However, I still want to make mention of it, because every time she has to speak her lines in English, it's as though she's reading her lines as if she was handed the script for this movie for the very first time. Now when she has to speak her lines in her native language, her acting is great. It's just, well, her English acting could've been handled a little better. But beyond that, the acting is great from everyone, and I didn't see anyone else phone in their lines or wasn't trying.

There really isn't much I can talk about in terms of special effects other than blood effects, most of it being practical, squibs, and the pyrotechnics are all really good here. Though I suppose I did mention the pale dead body from the beginning portion of the reaction, which looking back at it, looked a lot like a dummy. And I think that might've been the only poor special effect I could think of, but honestly, you would really have to stretch it if you were looking for it, and I kinda did, so take it for what you will.

Camerawork is really good, the lighting is well lit, and the music is rather decent in both score and soundtrack. So in terms of technical's and music, both are really solid.

One thing I do have to mention is the subtitles. And I'm not talking about some words being poorly translated or some subtitles being missing. No. I'm talking about when starting the movie. Because you see, when I first pressed Play on the menu screen, the subtitles didn't show up when the actors who spoke Korean. So, I had go back to the menu screen, go to Set-Up, pressed the English option for subtitles, and hit play again before the subtitles finally showed up. Which is a rather strange thing to do because I thought the subtitles would just show up the moment I hit the Play button. So if you decide to check this out on DVD, please be sure to go Set-Up before you do press Play, otherwise you're going into it without subtitles, unless you are someone who understands the Korean language. And if that's the case, then rock out.

So ultimately guys, am I able to recommend "Joint Security Area"? Oh hell yes. This movie is amazing. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into by watching this movie, but it definitely surpassed my expectations. And if you can find a copy of this movie anywhere, be it on DVD, Netflix (if it's available on there), Hulu, or what have you, then by all means, check it out. The movie is a little under 2 hours long, but I assure you that it's worth every second of your time. And I'm kinda happy I was able to pick this up because I saw it a few times at my local Mini Mall for about $2, and I was debating for a long time whether or not to pick it up, but, in the end, it was totally worth the purchase.

Anyway guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.