Reaction & Review | Mirai

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering an animated film from 2018. That movie is "Mirai".

Now, for those of you who don't know anything about this movie, this film was written and directed by a man named Mamoru Hosoda. And I've seen 3 other movies from him that he also wrote and directed. One of them was "Summer Wars", which was pretty good, and I liked it enough to buy it on DVD. Then there was also "The Boy and the Beast", which was OK, I guess, but it's certainly nowhere near his best film. Which then leads to the other movie from him that I saw, which was "Wolf Children", and I absolutely adored that movie. So overall, Hosoda knows how to make good movies. And even his weakest film is still watchable.

Which now leads into tonight's movie, and I really don't know much about it. I know it has something to do involving a kid who meets his sister as a teenager, and they go through their family history to meet this kid's relatives from different time eras. So, I'm going to assume that this has something to do with time travel, which...sounds interesting. I'm not sure if this movie's going to handle this concept well, but I have do have hopes that it's going to be good. Mainly because, as I've stated, this is from Mamoru Hosoda, and he's had a good track record, so far.

Now, I've heard various things about this movie. I've heard some people say that it's pretty good, others say it's OK, and I've even heard a couple of people say that the movie is crap. So, it's a bit of a polarizing film. Which makes it easier for me, because I'm going into this movie completely blind. I have not seen any trailers or clips from this movie, so I'm in for a very interesting experience. I don't know if it's going to be a good experience, but the only way I'm gonna find that out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Mirai".

2 minutes later

Well, guys, I can tell you this much so far. This opening song here is...actually really catchy. I'm really digging this song, guys.

13 minutes later

Wow, if this isn't the most irritating crying I had to deal with so far. Guys, I kind of figured that...wow...OK, that was probably the scariest fucking face I've ever seen a mother make. Anyway, my point being that I kinda figured I would have to deal with whining kids in this movie. But damn, this is almost incredibly annoying.

20 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a dumb question here. So what happens if the Mirai from the future is seen by her Dad when she is just a baby? I'm a little bit confused by this, because they haven't really made it clear as to whether or not there would be consequences if Mirai is seen by someone from her past. Mind you, the movie's been really good so far, but I am a little confused by those tidbits of information. I'm hoping that the movie is going to explain that at some point.

19 minutes later

Sorry, guys, if I haven't been saying whole lot, but I'm really getting sucked into this story. It's been surprisingly good. I really wasn't expecting that from this movie.

11 minutes later

Guys, I'd like to say right now that this movie has some breathtaking animation. This is some really amazing stuff here. Also, the music is really solid, even if you can't hear it right now for obvious reasons. This is some really awesome stuff.

13 minutes later

OK, that's probably one of the creepiest fucking things I've seen this entire movie. And if I was Kun's age, I would probably do more than just ask questions, I would honestly be really freaked out if this person I'm talking to looked like THAT. And no, I'm not gonna tell you what this person looks like, you're just gonna have to watch the movie for yourself.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Mirai". Let me shut the movie off...OK. Wow, that actually turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would. So, what do I start with first?

Let's start with writing, because I think that's the best place to start with. I've noticed a pattern throughout all of the films that I've seen from Hosoda, which is that they all have something to do with family. For those who haven't seen any of his films, I'm gonna give you a brief summary of each one that I've seen. I'm gonna start with "The Boy and the Beast", because that's the one I don't have a lot of memory with. But from what I remembered, it was about a boy that lives with this bear spirit and he somehow ended up being an apprentice to that beast spirit. Again, it's been quite a few years since I last saw that movie, because it wasn't all that memorable to me. I may have to give it another watch at some point as soon as I can find a copy of it. "Summer Wars" was about this teenager that ends up being this chick's boyfriend because she wanted to come back home to her family to prove that she had a boyfriend that will end up caring for her. And they also end up getting involved in an online world called OZ, where they had to battle against some online avatar that's eating up other people's online avatars. It's a little bit of a complicated story there, but that is also another aspect where family is involved. "Wolf Children" was about a woman who ends up falling in love with this guy, who turns out to be the last of his kind of an ancient race of werewolves. And they ended up having children together, who are born part human/part wolf. And after the father dies from an accident, she ends up having to care for both children on her own. It was basically a slice of life story as she gets through life's challenges, while trying to raise two children of her own. So, all of those movies have something to do with family in some way, shape, or form. And normally, I would not be into these kinds of films because I'm not a huge fan of children, and I feared that this movie would suck, because it was mostly going to focus on this one main child character and his little sister. Well, little sister from the future to be more accurate, but I'll get into that in a moment. So, that's what I feared going into this movie. But somehow, Hosoda was able to take this child character, along with his sister, and make it work incredibly well with our story. And that's not something most movies are able to accomplish with me. But, like I said, Hosoda is able to take these stories involving family, and make it work really well.

So, what is the premise of this story? Well, believe it or not, this story is, from what I picked up, a re-imagining of the classic tale of "A Christmas Carol". Now I say that it's a re-imagining, because a lot of adaptations, be it from movies or television specials, would follow that same story where Scrooge, or some half-assed version of that character, ends up hating Christmas and they end up meeting 3 ghosts to try and change his ways before something bad happens to him and the people around him. This movie, however, while it does take that concept, it's doing it in a much different way, and it does it well enough to be be it's own original story. Plus also, Christmas doesn't play a factor here. So anyway, we have our main character, Kun, who gets introduced to his baby sister, Mirai. And she ends up getting more attention, because she is the newest member of the family of four. Which grows into jealousy for Kun, because he thinks that his Mom and Dad don't love him anymore because she's getting all the attention. So much so that, on two separate occasions, he almost ends up hitting his baby sister with a toy bullet train. Which is a little bit extreme for a young child, but I'm not gonna get into that. So because of his growing jealousy for his baby sister, he ends up not liking her. Which then leads him into this garden that they have in their house with this one lone tree in the middle. And through this magic tree, if you want to call it that, he ends up meeting a couple of his family members. One of them ends up being Mirai as a teenager. He also meets his pet dog as a human, but he's not in the movie for too long. He also meets a couple more of his family members later on in the movie. Who they are, I'm not going to spoil. This is a movie that you have to see for yourself, because if I talk about that in any detail, then it would result in massive spoilers. Granted, the story is very similar to the classic tale of "A Christmas Carol", so you might have an idea of how the story's going to end, but who he meets and where he goes from there is something I'm going to leave for you guys to view for yourself. Our characters are very likable, and very well fleshed out. This is one of those very rare cases where there isn't a single unlikable character that you won't end up despising. There might be a background character here and there that you won't end up caring about, but they aren't really a big part of the story, so you won't have to worry about that. Every character in this movie is likable, and that's something I don't see happen often in a lot of movies. Usually, I would run into a few, or a lot of unlikable characters. Or in the case of my last Reaction & Review of "Mardi Gras Massacre", there were no likable characters to be found whatsoever. This movie does the exact opposite. Every character is likable, and you really do end up caring for a lot of them, whether they're supporting characters or our main characters.

If there are really any negatives, I guess I could pull out a few minors ones. One of them involves our main child character, Kun. Kun, when he first starts off, is really annoying and obnoxious. But then again, that's how damn near every child acts when they are that age. So it's something that you have to take for what it's worth. But he's certainly not the worst child character I've ever had to lay eyes on, and he DOES get better as the movie goes along, so at least there is that. The other issue I do have is something that I brought up earlier. So earlier, I mentioned that if Mirai was seen by her Dad from the past, then what would happen? I should probably explain this in a little more detail. So, there are these two dolls that are set up for Mirai as a baby. And if they are not put away by the day's end, then that means Mirai wouldn't be able to meet the husband that she's going to marry for every year of every day that the doll's are not put away. I have no idea if that's a real tradition or not in Japan, but I'm not going to get into that here. So at first, the teenager Mirai tries to get Kun to put away the dolls that their Dad forgot to do, because he's distracted by his work on his laptop. But then she notices that Kun's hands are dirty, and decides that she, along with Yukko, which is the pet dog that is a human, ends up trying to put away the dolls themselves without having the father see them. Now, since this is a re-imagining of "A Christmas Carol", you would think that maybe since these are characters that Kun can only see, why would they have to worry about getting spotted? Especially Mirai. Now you could write this off as it being a game to Mirai because, since Kun is just a child, he wouldn't notice the differences between reality and fiction. However, I don't really buy that. So I don't see why teenage Mirai is worried about her father noticing her, or Yukko for that matter. The only other thing that I guess I could bring up is the family tree in the home. Now again, without delving too much into spoilers, we do kind of get an explanation about what this tree is towards the end of the film. And I could see the film being a little bit creative with this idea, but it's still kind of a weak explanation. However, it's not too big of a deal to make it a negative, so I'm not really going to count it as one. Overall, guys, the writing in this movie is really sharp and very well thought out. Even though it's just a re-imagining of a classic story, it's still very well written and I really loved what was shown here. In fact, whenever I do watch it again, I might notice some things that I didn't see from my first viewing of this thing. So yeah, the writing in this movie is great.

What about the acting? Well, I opted to watch the English dub, and, for the most part, the acting in this dub is very solid. I was expecting the worst from whoever voiced Kun. However, that didn't end up happening, because whoever they got to voice this child was fantastic at it. They sounded like how a child would sound like at Kun's age. And while it did get annoying at times, it was intentional. So I'm not going to blame whoever voiced Kun, because they did a really good job at it. There is one voice actress, however, I need to bring up, and it's whoever voiced the Mom. And this one is a bit of a strange one to talk about, because, at times, it sounds like she's just phoning it in, and she's not really putting in any kind of effort into making herself sound believable. But then there are moments where she's actually putting some effort into whatever emotion that she's trying to give out. And when she DOES do that, it sounds really good. Which begs the question on why she sounded like she didn't really care about putting in any effort into some of her lines, because she sounded kinda bored giving out her dialogue. Now I don't know if it was an issue involving her voice direction, or if she just had on off day when recording her lines. I have no idea. However, like I said, when she is putting effort into her lines, she still does a very good at it. And the same could be said for the entire cast of this dub. Everybody turned in very good showings, and they mostly made this dub worth watching. Again, minus the questionable performance of the actress who voiced the mother. But again, it's not too much of an issue, unless you're someone who's not into English dubs. Overall, the acting is very good, and I very much enjoyed this dub.

Now let's talk about the animation. The art style for this movie is fucking beautiful. But then again, this could also be attributed to the fact that this was made by Studio Chizu, which was the same animation studio that also made the other 3 movies I mentioned early on, such as "The Boy and the Beast", "Summer Wars", and "Wolf Children". And that same art style and animation carries on in this movie. It is such a beautiful film to look at. The characters are well drawn, the color palette's are great, and the backgrounds look amazing as well. There is also some utilization of CG in this film. Now, one thing you have to take into consideration is that you really have to be careful on how you mix in 2D animation with CG. Because a lot of animated movies, the ones I've seen anyway, usually would find some way to fuck this up. A real good example of this would be a majority of DC's direct-to-video animated films. While the 2D animation in those movies look great, most of them would utilize CG for stuff such as cars, and most of them look like shit. Anime films are guilty of this, too. "Fireworks" is one very good example. While most of the CG was good in that movie, there were also shots of characters riding bicycles in CG, and they looked horrendous. So I was worried that this movie would fall into this same trap. And thank god, this movie actually proved me wrong. This movie has some of the best mixture of blending in 2D animation with CG, and it's mostly just for vehicles. But they actually managed pull it off, and they pulled it off well. One great example I can think of is towards the latter half of the movie. Again, without going into spoilers, there is one train in this movie that is rendered in CG. And, holy shit, this train looks fucking amazing in CG. This is one of the best looking CG trains I have seen...ever. Guys, I never thought I would gush over something such as a train in CG. But this one train looks so fucking cool, that it really is something that you need to see for yourself. But overall guys, the animation in both 2D and the CG elements is great. And to any animation studio that wants to mix in CG with 2D animation, follow this movie's example. Because they know how to do it right.

Sound-mix here is great. The music in both the score and songs are also really good, too. Overall, guys, am I able to recommend "Mirai"? Oh, hell yes, dude. This thing really surprised me on how good it really was. And if it weren't for "Wolf Children", I would probably place this as my favorite film from Mamoru Hosoda. But still, this thing is fucking great. And if you are fan of Hosoda's movies, and you haven't had a chance to see this one yet, by all means, please do. It is definitely worth your time. The only thing that MIGHT hold this movie back for you is if you aren't a fan of children. But then again, I'm not a fan of children either, and I still ended up really enjoying this movie a lot. And it's certainly made me a fan of Hosoda, as a filmmaker. And if he's able to continue pumping out great films such as this and "Wolf Children", then he's probably going to end up becoming one of my favorite Japanese filmmakers of all time, next to Satoshi Kon. Which I understand is kind of a big feat, however, Hosoda is certainly making a strong case. And this movie is certainly going to have a prominent spot on my DVD shelf. And on that note, I think I'm gonna go and watch another film Hosoda wrote and directed. I think I'm gonna go and watch "Wolf Children", because it has been almost a year since I last saw it, and I think it deserves another viewing.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Mardi Gras Massacre

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 1978. That movie is "Mardi Gras Massacre".

I'm gonna tell you, guys, the only reason why I wanted to cover this movie was because of that title. That title sounds like cheesy, stupid bullshit that I actually might kinda like. I don't know anything about the plot to this movie, but I am gonna take a guess here and say that there is someone killing people during Mardi Gras. Or perhaps maybe they're killing people that are participating at the Mardi Gras parade. I have no idea. But that is what I'm guessing, just basing it off the title.

Now, while I don't know anything else regarding this movie's plot, I do know that this movie was banned in the U.K. for being too violent. And it was promptly labeled under Video Nasty. Basically, Video Nasty was essentially a term thrown out by the National Viewers and Listeners' Association in the U.K., because they thought that certain horror movies from the late 70's and early 80's were deemed as "too violent" for British audiences, and they were trying to outright ban them from getting a home video release. So, in a nutshell, they were the cancel culture of the 1980's. So this movie basically ended up getting banned in the U.K. and, as far as most people know, it hasn't seen seen a physical release in the U.K. to this day. Speaking of which, even though this movie ended up getting finished in 1978, it wasn't released in the U.S. until 1983, where it was given the controversial X rating. So this thing had a very hard time getting any kind of release for about 5 years until the MPAA decided to give it's X rating and was, probably, running in limited theaters for a time.

But regardless of all that, I am curious to see how this film is going to turn out. I have no idea how violent this thing supposedly is, until I see it for myself. But overall, I just want to see if this thing is any good at all. And the only way I'm gonna find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Mardi Gras Massacre".

6 minutes later

Wait, so this woman is actually going to lie down on this "bed", which doesn't even look like a bed at all, it looks more like a table. And she's not going to ask him WHY she needs to lay down on this particular bed in his apartment, while he goes and prepares for...something? Moreover, how the hell was this guy able to set this all up in his apartment? His apartment must be fucking huge, if he's able to have this much space and was able to set this "bed" up in his apartment. Guys, I totally understand that I'm probably getting ahead of myself here, but this movie's already leaving me with a ton of questions, and I'm probably not going to get an answer for any of them.

20 minutes later

So, guys, I didn't want to ask this, but is anything interesting gonna happen in this movie? We are almost a half an hour in, and I have not been given a reason to care about anything of what's been going on in this movie so far. I'm genuinely hoping that the movie's gonna get better as it goes along. But as of right now, I kinda have my doubts.

3 minutes later

All right, I feel like now is the time to bring this up. You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this fucking wind noise is shit. I have heard this crap for the third time in this movie, and it's already starting to sound incredibly grating. If I have to hear more of this shit in this movie, then I fear it's going to be very torturous.

19 minutes later

Guys, I'm gonna ask this again. Is ANYTHING interesting going to happen in this movie? I have been struggling to find anything that's deemed as partially interesting, and I haven't even gotten that yet. This movie is fucking boring as shit, and I really hope something happens within the next...45 minutes or so. Otherwise, those 45 minutes are going to be torturous to get through.

11 minutes later

You know, guys, for a movie that was claimed to be incredibly violent, this is some of the tamest shit I've ever seen in a horror movie...ever. And it's mainly this same jackass who's been sacrificing women in the exact same order that he's been doing this entire movie. It would be kinda nice if this movie would change it up a bit, so we don't get the exact same kills every single time. But I have this strange feeling that I'm not going to get any of that by the time this movie's done.

12 minutes later

Wait a fucking second here. So Frank's partner, who looks like Riker from "Star Trek: The Next Generation", just stated that they don't know when or where this killer's going to strike next. Even though in the previous scene before that montage we just saw, Frank said that the killer strikes every Tuesday, every week, around at a certain time. Either this is the worst fucking detective in the entire history of detectives, or this movie is clinically fucking retarded, because the people who wrote this don't know the meaning of the word "consistency". I'm gonna take a safe bet here and shoot for the latter in this case.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Mardi Gras Massacre". Thank fucking god, it's over. I'm gonna shut this garbage off...OK. That ending was complete shit. Wow...I've never been left this speechless in a movie in a long time. What to even start with first?

I'm gonna start with something different. I'm gonna talk about the worst problem this movie has, which is the music. And it's not so much that the music is terrible. Well, except for one piece of it, but I'll get to that in just a moment. The worst part about the music in this movie is that this film does not know when to shut the fuck up. I swear to God, guys, almost every single scene in this movie has music playing in some fashion. And it takes you out of the movie, because this movie almost never has a silent moment for anything. Not for character depth, or when to build tension, nothing in this movie is given the silent treatment, because this movie doesn't know how to properly utilize music correctly. The only time that this would make sense is when the Mardi Gras parade is going on. And I'm going to assume that this was an actual Mardi Gras parade, rather than just being there for the sake of this movie. But almost every other scene in this movie has music playing, and it even has music playing when it's not even calling for it. Guys, I have seen plenty of shitty horror movies for this series, but even they know how to utilize music properly. They don't just let music play in almost every fucking scene in their movies as if it's a musical orgy. But this son of a bitch will do just that. It doesn't care that there is music playing, even in scenes that are either unnecessary or if it's cranked up to a tee, because the volume is just too fucking loud. Now, that either may be a technical issue on my end, or I just had the music played up at full volume without even realizing. But either way, the music in this film is not properly utilized, and it will take you out of the movie, because of it's over abundance of having it play in almost every scene. The only instances I can think of when music is not playing is when we have scenes that take place at the police station, or when our killer first invites his victims to his apartment, in which the latter only stays silent for about a minute or two. Speaking of which, I want to touch upon that fucking wind music. Actually no, I'm not calling it music, because it's fucking noise. And it is some of the most grating and irritating shit you will EVER hear in this movie. It was trying to be all suspenseful and creepy, but it's not. It's fucking noise, and, like I said, it is some of the most grating shit you will ever listen to. And it plays quite a bit in this movie. Even towards the very end of the film, it will still play that shitty, fucking noise. And by the time the movie was ever, I was so thankful that it was done. Because I never have to listen to that awful fucking noise ever again. I understand that I'm probably beating a dead horse by this point, but this music is shit. And it probably would not have been shit, if it wasn't utilized so fucking poorly.

Now...setting aside that issue, because I could be here all night talking about how poorly the music was handled in this movie, I'm gonna move on and talk about the writing. I want to start with pacing, because this has got to be one of the worst paced films I ever seen in a long time. Because we have scenes in this movie that pads itself out into nothingness. One example I can think of is when our two main characters, Sherry and Frank, spend time together. And this is gonna tie back into music, because we have montages that go on for ages, and nothing of value comes from them. It probably would've helped if they cut the fucking music out, so maybe the movie could focus on trying to develop our characters. Which didn't fucking work, because neither one of these characters are likable in any way. In fact, I couldn't tell you a single likable character in this movie, because nobody has any real character depth. I totally understand that this thing is suppose to be a cheesy horror flick, and you don't need mountains of depth in these kinds of films. But as I've stated time and again in this movie, and I'm going to continue to beat this fucking horse until filmmakers get this shit right, you NEED characters that are worth caring about. If you're not going to go out of your way to give them any level of depth, then, at the very least, give me a reason why I should care about these characters. Give me a reason why I should worry about when these prostitutes are going to be sacrificed by this fucking jackass who is sacrificing women to this Aztec God. Speaking of which, let's touch upon our killer. I have never seen a horror movie this bad, where our killer has no fucking personality or depth to him whatsoever. So, this entire movie has him going to bars and night clubs, so that he can find prostitutes that are considered 'evil'. He pays them money, because of course you need to for a prostitute, and brings them to his apartment. He then ties them up, as they are stripped naked to his bed, and he begins his retarded little ritual. Why does he do this? Well, this movie's not quite clear on that. At one point, when our two police detectives visit this ESP doctor, he thinks that the rituals are more common here in the U.S., and he believes that they or he, because at that point, they don't know if it's just one person or a cult that's doing the killing, are doing this so that they can get god-like powers from some Aztec God. But then later on, sometime after our killer sacrifices his next victim, he is worshiping this Aztec Queen, and says that he's going to kill 3 women on Mardi Gras, so that he can resurrect her to life or something. So which is it? Is he wanting to get god-like powers, or is he trying to resurrect some Aztec Queen for the fuck of it? I don't know. But this movie is not clear on that shit. Hell, it's not even clear as to why this killer is doing all this in the first place. You see, guys, even other horror villains such as Freddy, Jason, and Chucky, have some level of character and motivations. This guy doesn't even have a backstory of sorts as to why he got into this Aztec shit. You could write it off as he's just a religious nutcase, but even religious nutcases have more personality than this jackass does. When he's at nightclubs and bars trying to search for hookers that are considered 'evil', he kinda reminds me of Andrew Divoff as the Djinn from the "Wishmaster" series. Except, you take away all of the charm and personality that Divoff gave to the Djinn from those movies, and you replace it with a boring, sack of waste with no personality to speak of.

Moving on from the characters, our story also has logic issues that make no fucking sense. For example, when our killer is done sacrificing these prostitutes, he's somehow able to move their bodies and put them on railroad tracks. First of all, how the hell does no one see him do this? By that, I mean how the hell was no one able to see him move their bodies towards these railroad tracks? Better yet, how come no one in the police force thought to maybe keep an eye on the railroad tracks, in case this guy goes around there to dispose of their bodies? I ask this, because Frank realizes that this is the same M.O. He kills on a Tuesday, at the exact same time, at the exact same week. So how come Frank, or someone else, didn't think about maybe putting an officer or two near the railroad tracks at a stakeout? You would think maybe they would get something out of that. But nobody does that. Instead, the police commissioner just tells our two detectives to go find him, without even knowing who they're looking for. The only thing that they know about our killer is that he wears a particular gold ring. And then it leads to a 5 minute montage sequence which goes absolutely nowhere, other than to pad itself out. Which is a running theme for this movie, in case you didn't notice. Now, here's where this makes no sense. When they do eventually find someone who does know about the gold ring that our killer wears, because the guy who knows about it is the same guy who delivered Chinese food to his apartment, the detective that looks like Riker from "Star Trek: The Next Generation", rather than going to the apartment IMMEDIATELY knowing this information, instead decides that they should stake out at a bar and wait for backup. Which makes no sense, because the day that they find out about this crucial information is also happening during Mardi Gras. Which is also the day that the killer is going to kill again. Motherfucker, no! If you KNOW that this killer is hanging out at his apartment, and you know he's going kill again, you should take his fucking ass down now, rather than wait for backup! Oh, but wait, it gets better! You see, when they made the stupid decision of waiting for backup at this bar, one of the bar owners from early on in the movie rushes in and says that he knows where the killer is, because he saw him with three women that went into his apartment. Mind you, we don't know WHEN he saw this happen. But that somehow gives our detectives enough of an edge to go after him at his apartment. Because going to check this apartment back after being told when the Asian guy delivered the Chinese food was not enough of a motivation for them. Guys, the police force in this movie are quite possibly the WORST police force in the entire history of film. So much so that they make Clint Howard from "Santa with Muscles" look like Dirty-fucking-Harry! Process that for just a moment! How low do you have to be when Clint Howard is able to outdo you in terms of being a better cop? That is just...wow, that is mind-blowingly sad.

Guys, the writing in this movie is a fucking joke. And it's not even the fun kind of bad writing I would get out of a cheap horror movie. This is just...horrifically bad. Speaking of which, the acting is also terrible. Most of the actors in this movie sound very wooden, that they just phoned it in and did not care at all. Which makes sense, considering that you can only do so much when you're given a script that is this fucking terrible. Speaking of which, the worst actor in this entire movie goes to whoever played our only female cop. She has only one scene of dialogue, and it is so terrible, because she is stumbling through her dialogue as if she was given this kind of script for the first time. In fact, I think this actress has never acted a day in her life. So much so that I have a theory that someone from the casting department decided to pull some Joe schmo off the street and asked them if they wanted to be in a movie. And, lull and behold, she got the part, and doesn't know the first thing about acting. I hope she has never set foot in front of another camera after this movie, because that is some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a LONG time. Mind you, as I said, the acting was terrible from, just about, the entire cast, but that one actress stood out the most, because it was fucking painful just seeing her give out her only line of dialogue.

Now we come to the special effects. Well...before that, I have message for the National Viewers and Listeners' Association. If you thought that this shit was too violent for British audiences to handle, then you must be the biggest fucking pansies I've ever seen, because this shit is some of the most tamest violence I have seen in almost any horror movie ever. I have seen more violent shit happen in "Tokyo Gore Police" and "The Machine Girl", two VERY exploitative movies that had more violence than this fucking thing does. And mind you, both of those were aiming for comedy, as well. This movie has only ONE kind of kill. Which is, once more, our killer, who is sacrificing these women to this Aztec Queen. He ties them down onto his bed after they're stripped naked, he pours what looks to be like holy water, then ends up stabbing their hand, foot, and cutting up their body, just so he can grab out their heart and place it in front of the altar, I guess. It's not really clear as to what he does to those human hearts after he gets them out of their bodies, but that doesn't really matter. Now I will say that the first time you see this, it is rather gruesome and kinda nasty. But then they repeat this same method of killing two more times, which makes the shock factor less shocking because the filmmakers were too lazy to be creative with their kills. By the way, a bit of a spoiler, in the entire hour and a half movie, he only has a body count of 3 women. That's it. You know, for a movie that's entitled "Mardi Gras Massacre", the word "massacre" is a bit of a stretch. You would think that maybe if he had killed more women, it would actually live up to our movie's title. However, that's not really the case here. But that's really just a minor thing. Now, even though the kills are the exact same thing, I will say that the blood effects are pretty good, and the gore is not too bad either, especially knowing that this movie was filmed on a rather low budget. It's kind of a pity that they didn't put that effort into anywhere else that should've mattered in this movie, but still, the special effects are rather decent.

Camerawork here is fine. Lighting is fine. I've already touched upon the music, so there's no need to mention it again. Sound-mix, however, is kinda shit. And this honestly might be the version of the movie I watched on YouTube, but the sound-mix is just not well done. I was thinking about this earlier, but there are some scenes where the volume on the music is really loud in some areas, so much so that they can sometimes drown out an actor's dialogue. And there was one scene I could recall early on in the movie where Sherry and Frank are at a restaurant, and they are being attacked, I guess, by two random people. One of them Frank has close to a wall, and when the camera is up close to them, the sound will definitely pick up...on the left side of movie. The right side, however, almost disappears. And it's so jarring to hear this, because it could definitely take you out of the movie. However, again, that might just be the version of it I watched on YouTube. You kinda have to take it for what it's worth. Beyond that, the sound-mix here is just not that good.

Overall, guys, am I able to recommend "Mardi Gras Massacre"? No. Hell no. I can't recommend this movie to anyone. Especially this version of it on YouTube, because, I swear, there are some scenes in this movie that are either spliced up that they don't mesh well together, or there might've been some scenes cut out abruptly without even giving it time to finish. Either way, this movie is unwatchable. The writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, the music is so poorly utilized in this film, and it's just an overall horrific movie. And considering that this movie had a very hard time getting any kind of release after getting a home video release banned in the U.K., and not getting a release shown here in the U.S. for about 5 years, this movie should've probably never seen the light of day because of it's horrendous fucking writing. I can't even recommend it to horror movie fanatics, because they're gonna find this shit to be awful as well. And not even the cheesy kind of awful like you would sometimes get out of bad horror movies. This thing is just borderline unwatchable. And you can certainly find better horror movies to watch than this fucking thing. Speaking of which, I brought it up earlier, but I'm gonna go watch "The Machine Girl". Because that movie certainly lives to up being very violent, but also very fun at the same time.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | War of the Birds

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be checking out a Danish animated film from 1990. That movie is "War of the Birds".

Now, the story behind this movie is a rather fascinating one, and it mainly has to do with how it was brought over to the U.S. You see, most people who know about this movie don't even know that there is an English dub for it. They mostly know it's original version, which was entitled "Fuglekrigen". And, like I said, it came out in 1990. It wasn't until 1998, when a certain company decided to dub it for English audiences. I'm gonna get more into that in a bit.

Now, as for how I came across this movie, I honestly stumbled upon it by accident. And when I was doing the small amount of research on this movie, what I uncovered really intrigued me enough to warrant covering for this series. I found this English dub on YouTube, and I was going to get ready to cover it at some point. Unfortunately, the company that originally made this movie, which was Nordisk Film, took the movie down, and I had no way of covering it anymore. That was until, one day, the person who originally uploaded the movie on YouTube said that one of his fans saved the English dub on Google Drive. So I clicked on the link and, without listening to too much of the film, it turned out to be the English dub for this movie, and it's been on my Google Drive since. And I figured now would be the time to cover this movie, because I've been really curious to see what this thing is about.

Now, in regards to what I found out about this English dub, I can tell you that this movie was not entirely family friendly. You see, when this movie was brought over to the U.S., they had to cut quite a bit in order make this movie family friendly enough for children. Now, from what I've heard, they cut out things such as characters using their middle fingers to flip someone off, there was also some sexual content in the original version that got taken out, and there were characters swearing. So basically, as I already stated, this film was NOT family friendly. At least, I don't think it was suppose to be when it was originally made in Denmark. I wouldn't know, because I don't follow what Denmark puts out for children, and I don't really care.

Now all of that is nothing new to me, because I've seen plenty of companies take foreign animated films and TV shows and edit it enough for family friendly audiences. So, none of that surprises me, personally. I don't know how it's going to affect this English dub, but I'll find that out in a moment. But what REALLY attracted my attention to this English dub comes in two different factors. One of the people who directed it, and the company they got to dub it. One of the people who directed the English dub of this movie was legendary animation producer Lou Scheimer. Lou Scheimer, for those of you unaware of who he is, was the head of an animation company known as Filmation. Which produced a ton of cartoons made for children from the 70's and 80's such as He-Man, Bravestarr, Fat Albert, Star Trek: The Animated Series, and a ton of other shows that children grew up on from back in the day. So we have him on board this project. As for the company that dubbed this movie, well, that company was Ocean Productions. And in case you're not aware of the shows that they have produced, a short list of that would be "Dragon Ball Z", "Inuyasha", "Hamtaro", "Cardcaptors", and yes, I am referring to that version, because I've never seen "Cardcaptor Sakura". But setting that trivial matter aside, we also have them on board. So, what happens when you mix in the former head of Filmation, and the dubbing company of Ocean Productions, and you put them both into a blender? Boom...you get this movie.

So with all this in mind, tonight, I'm gonna get to experience the very rarely seen, and very rarely heard, English dub. I don't know what the plot is to this movie, outside of the fact that it has something to do with birds, just basing off the title. And I know this thing is based off a book. Outside of that, I don't know anything about the plot to this movie. I don't know if it's going to be any good. I don't even know if the dub is going to be any good, but I am going to find out right now. And the only way I'm gonna do that, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "War of the Birds".

4 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a stupid question, and I know it has nothing to do with the movie, but I am curious about something. Are owls normally this fucking huge? Because Walter, which is this owl I'm seeing right now, is fucking huge compared to this small bird. And I'm just wondering is that, like, normal for owls to be taller than birds? I don't claim to be an ornithologist, so I'm probably ignorant on this subject, but I don't think owls are that big when compared to smaller birds. Again, I understand it has nothing to do with the movie itself, but it's just something I'm curious about.

9 minutes later

Wait, so this sparrow is gonna take in this bird, without even knowing if this child bird is telling the truth that Fagin took her parents away? I understand that it's a child, but it just seems a little bit odd to me that this sparrow is automatically going to believe what this bird says and just decides to take her under it's wing. Perhaps it's just me, but it seems like this sparrow is jumping to a conclusion without even knowing if it's true or not. Again, it's a trivial thing to be bitching about, and, so far, the movie's been OK, but it's just something that was kinda bugging me slightly.

14 minutes later

You know, guys, it's kinda sad that this is the third time that this cat has fallen for this broken wing trick. You would think, by this point, that this cat would've learned it's lesson and not fall for the same trick three times. But apparently, I guess some cats don't learn, do they?

7 minutes later

OK, I wasn't expecting a musical number to happen within this movie. I will say, though...it is a little bit catchy. You guys can't hear it for obvious reasons, but this song here is not too bad. Kinda odd...it's certainly different. Again, I just wasn't really expecting a musical number of all things to happen in this movie.

8 minutes later

OK...well, I wasn't expecting that much blood coming from that one shot to the eye. That was almost fucking gruesome. Really cool, but that must've hurt like shit, dude.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "War of the Birds". I'm gonna shut the movie off...OK.

Before I get into the review, I do need to make mention of something regarding this English dub. As I've stated earlier, the dub for this movie never really saw the light of day, at least in the U.S. You see, the only way you could ever obtain a physical copy of this English dub for "War of the Birds" was if you bought the Russian import of it on DVD, where it contained both the Russian dub, and this English dub. Now, I tried to find a physical copy of this thing online, and the only thing I was able to find was a VHS copy of this movie's original Danish dub on eBay. Which was running at a very hefty price of $75, and I was not going to shill that amount money for it. So basically, this dub is probably going to stay in it's obscurity, unless some company in the U.S. decides to release this movie's dub on DVD and Blu-ray for American audiences. But even with that aside, I have a couple of other theories as to why this movie has never seen the light day here in the West. One of those theories I'm gonna get to in a bit when I talk about the writing. But I believe that, when this movie was finished being dubbed, someone over at Ocean Productions looked at the final product and thought that this movie was still too dark for kids to watch, despite all of the changes that they made to it. Now, if I were to judge this movie by today's standards, I would say that this thing is incredibly tame. But back in 1998, Ocean Productions thought otherwise, and they decided to not release it over here. Instead, they decided to package this English dub onto Russian DVD's in hopes that no one from the U.S. would be able to discover it. Now, I have no proof of this theory, and I do believe the real reason why this thing never got a release was due to distributing rights, because things involving copyrighted music can get in the way of that happening. But regardless, this thing might never see an official release in the U.S., and that's kind of a shame. Because I do believe that this dub was not too bad, all things considered. Now, that's not to say that this movie isn't flawed. Believe me, this movie has a lot of flaws. But I still believe that this movie should get a re-release of some physical form, because it really is a dub that you should watch, at least once. I guess that shows my hand rather early, but I think I should really get into the movie itself.

Let's start this by talking about the writing. Now, a moment ago, I mentioned that I had a couple of theories as to why this thing never got an official release in the U.S. And I do have another theory as to why. You see, one of the big problems that this movie suffers from is the pacing. This movie feels incredibly rushed, to a point where we don't really get a lot time to develop our characters. And I think I know why this movie feels rushed. It's because this movie's runtime is barely above an hour long. I've talked about this in the past, but when you're working with a very short runtime, you really don't have the time to build up a slower-paced story. OVA's, at least the ones I've seen anyway, also have this problem, as well. But at least most of those try to tell some kind of an interesting story, even with shorter runtimes. And I can see that this thing was trying to tell it's story, but it's trying desperately to rush through it all, so we can get to our final showdown between Oliver, Olivia, and Fagin. And because this movie desperately wanted to rush through everything, it just feels kinda hollow and empty. Now, I will say that this story had a lot of potential. Because we have our main character, Oliver, which is this child bird that loses it's parents after a fight with Fagin, our villain for this movie. It then gets later adopted by a female sparrow, along with a blue bird named Olivia, who also lost it's parents to Fagin. And it's basically this coming of age story, where Oliver and Olivia grow up and try to take down Fagin, who claims himself as "King of the Birds". And if this thing had gotten about, maybe, 30 more minutes to develop it's story and characters, then this would've been a great movie. Unfortunately, it kinda falters, because of it's rushed development. So naturally, we end up with a lot of shallow characters. And while I could see them trying with Oliver and Olivia, it still feels kinda flat. Like, I'm kinda amazed that when Oliver is first hatched, he's able to learn about stuff such as how he lost his parents to Fagin, and how he's gonna get revenge against him when he's bigger. I would think, maybe, when he got older, he would learn about this stuff then. But to have him know about all this, and able to form sentences and words as a hatchling, it just comes across as rather strange and not really that believable to me. However, I don't know the development cycle of birds, so maybe that's just something in this universe that they were born with. I don't know, but, like I said, it just felt strange to me. The same goes for Olivia. Because the female sparrow first discovers her when she was being cornered by this cat, and the sparrow was able to outwit this cat, and save this bird, who she later names Olivia. She then finds out that Olivia's parents were also killed by Fagin. Even though she has no proof of this, the female sparrow takes her in anyways. However, I'm gonna let that one slide, because since Olivia is just a child, it wasn't really a huge issue in the long run. It was something I noticed, but I got over that issue really quickly.

As for other characters in this movie, a lot of them are not really likable. The only likable characters in this movie are Oliver, Olivia, and the female sparrow that adopts them. Everybody else is incredibly unlikable, especially towards Oliver and Olivia. The only exception to this is a seagull named Armstrong. But even he's not that likable, because he just comes across as incredibly annoying throughout the entire film. As for Walter, which is the owl that was paired up with the female sparrow, sounds like he's drunk the entire time. And his main gimmick is that he steals Oliver and Olivia's food and ends up eating it himself. And he does this about three different times throughout the first half of the movie. But the most shocking one of them all that has almost no character depth is our villain Fagin. Fagin gets the least amount of time from the entire cast, because he has only ONE scene where he gets any kind of development. And unfortunately, it's the scene that I have seen on YouTube many times before, where it was a voice comparison between the different actors for each dub that was playing Fagin and the dove. And that's the ONLY scene in the movie where he's sharing a conversation with anyone. Basically, the dove was telling Fagin about a trap that the birds were setting for him, and the dove mentions the female sparrow that saved it's life once against this cat, and he was wondering if Fagin could spare her. And Fagin goes off by saying that because he's King of the Birds, anyone that tries to go against him will be killed. And that's it. He has NO other character depth to him besides that. Now, one could make an argument by saying that less is more, and that the movie was trying to build up suspense and intrigue for our villain. The problem is that, as I've stated, Fagin has only ONE scene of development And that development doesn't kick in until around the 40 minute mark of the movie. And this is one of the reasons why this movie feels so rushed. Especially knowing that Fagin only has this one scene. Every other time he's on camera, he's out trying to destroy Oliver and Olivia, which was all of twice in the entire movie. As for the dove, he also has almost no character to him, outside of being a spy for Fagin. And this movie was trying to build up sympathy for our dove. Unfortunately, like everything else in this movie, it also feels incredibly rushed. And, without delving too much into spoilers, he tries to sacrifice himself into killing Fagin. I won't say how, you're going to have to watch this thing for yourself. But basically, his character felt wasted, and I did not feel anything for him at all, even when he tried to sacrifice himself. As for other characters, such as the background birds, are all incredibly mean and dickish towards Oliver and Olivia, because they think they caused trouble for them once they hatched, and they're wondering why Fagin didn't take them. Which feels INCREDIBLY forced, and I have no idea why that is.

So overall, I can definitely say that the writing here is rather weak. Mostly because this movie was working with such a short runtime, and it could've done so much more with our characters and story. But what about the acting? Well, being that this is the rarely heard English dub, I was curious to see how the acting in this dub was going to hold up. And I can say that the acting here is pretty good. It's not great, but I can see that the entire cast was trying. Now, unlike other dubbing companies such as 4Kids and Funimation, I don't really have a ton of knowledge about Ocean's dubbing cast. But I do want to make mention of one actor in particular, which is Paul Dobson as Fagin. Paul's performance as Fagin sounds incredibly creepy, and yet kinda cheesy at the same time. To a point, where he kinda stands out the most from the entire cast. It's kind of a pity that the character only has one scene of dialogue, but at least Paul Dobson tried to make him sound menacing from that one scene. So, at least I can give props to Paul for trying to make his one scene of dialogue work. That being said, I also noticed that some of the English dialogue in this movie doesn't necessarily mesh well with the character's mouth movements. Unlike dubbing an anime, where it is a little bit more accessible because the characters in that type of medium usually move their mouths up and down, the characters in this movie are moving their mouths in a certain way. And you really have to go out of your way to try and match up with what they are trying to say. And while most of it can be overlooked, there are some scenes where it's rather noticeable. One example would be the scene I talked about earlier involving Fagin and the dove. While Fagin is talking about how he's King of the Birds, there is a moment where the mouth movement was not matching some of Paul Dobson's dialogue, and it is rather noticeable. And some other characters also kinda suffer this problem, too. But it is something that you have to take for what it's worth. And for a dub that came out in 1998, it is certainly serviceable. So, I can at least say that the acting works fine here. Like I said, it isn't great, but I've heard far worse.

Now let's get to the animation. I will say that that look of this movie is certainly unique. A lot of the background areas look like they might've been water painted. It's especially noticeable in murkier areas, such as Fagin's hideout, or anything involving darkness. And anything involving lighter areas looks really good, too. The character designs on the birds are simple, but of some of them have just enough of a design to stand out from other birds. Well...except for maybe the owls, because there's a scene involving a musical number and I couldn't tell you if it was Walter or if it was some different owl, because those two look very similar to each other. But aside from them, most of the other character designs are pretty good. There are two characters, however, I do need to make mention of. One of them is the only human character in this entire movie, who seems to be bird watching with his dog. At one point, we see the back view of this guy, and you can see the pencil shading move rather oddly on the back of his coat. I get that the movie wanted to try and give off the illusion of shading, but the rough pencil shading on the coat kinda stops that from happening. But that's really more of a minor issue, because it only happens for one scene. The other character I want to make mention of is the dove. It seems like the people who were animating this movie didn't know if they wanted to make the dove look bright yellow, white, or pink. Because early on, we get to see the dove, and the color palette looks bright as hell on him. I'm not sure if the bright yellow was suppose to be because he was flying during the daytime when the sun was out or what. And when we first see him, there is not a shade of pink anywhere on him. But then later on, we totally get to see him up close, and then all of a sudden he has a spot of pink on him. And he has that on him throughout the latter half of the movie. Again, I don't know what the animators were trying to go for when animating the dove, but the striking color differences on the dove were definitely noticeable, and it is rather inconsistent. It didn't take me out of the film entirely, but it is something that you're probably going to notice. Overall, guys, I can say that the animation looks pretty good. There are some moments of choppy animation, but since it's incredibly minor, I'm not going to necessarily count it as a negative.

Music here is OK. Like, the songs are OK, but they're not anything memorable, outside of, maybe, that one song Armstrong sings in the middle of the movie. Beyond that, our score here is nothing special. Sound-mix, however, is kind of an issue with this movie. Because there are some scenes where the music will drown out the sound effects. One good example of that is when one of the mouses is drowning in a river towards a waterfall. And you'll barely be able to hear the character screaming for help, because the music decided to turn itself up a notch and drown out his cries for help. Another example of this is during another musical number. And no, I am not kidding about that, there is another musical number in this movie. And during this number, there's one moment where Olivia is singing and there's an egg that drops onto Oliver's head, but there's NO sound of the egg breaking. Now, I don't know if this was a technical issue on my end, or if it was like that with the English dub for this movie, I don't even know if it was an issue involving the original Danish dub. But regardless of all that, the sound-mix is definitely an issue with this movie. It's not Sonic Adventure 2's level of awful sound-mixing, especially when it comes to the music, but it's certainly noticeable here. At least, with this English dub, it is.

Overall, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "War of the Birds"? Personally...it's kind of hard to give a full recommendation, given that this thing has a rushed story and characters who are mostly flat. However, I am going to say yes, if just for the curiosity of what this English dub is like. In fact, I'm going to do something that I've never done before in this series. I'm going to provide a link to this movie for you guy's to watch in the description. Because it really is a dub that should gain some more attention. And who knows? You might find something more out of this thing than I did. And while I don't think it's something that I'm going to watch a second time, I can say that this movie's dub is worth watching, at least once. And considering how obscure this dub is, it would be very hard for someone to find a physical copy of this movie with this English dub. But I'm hoping that you guys will be able to help spread this dub around, because it really is an interesting movie to say the least. Now...as for myself, I think I'm gonna go watch another coming of age movie. And I think I'm gonna watch "Kiki's Delivery Service", because that is certainly a fantastic movie that's able to make a coming of age story work so well.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Short Circuit

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a film from 1986. That movie is "Short Circuit". Which comes as part of a DVD 2-pack that has both this movie, and it's sequel "Short Circuit 2". And just as a heads up, I will be covering the sequel later on this month.

Now, I don't remember a whole lot about "Short Circuit". I might've remembered seeing ads for this movie when it was being aired on TV. I think it might've aired on the Hub Network a long time ago. I could be totally wrong about that, though. The only things I know about this movie is that it stars Steve Guttenberg, and that the robot is named Johnny Five. And somehow, someway, Johnny Five comes to life and...I don't know anything else beyond that. Speaking of Johnny Five, I remember a few years ago when I was at Wizard World Comic Con in Tulsa, Oklahoma, one of the first photos I ever took there was of Johnny Five. Which was a pretty decent replica of him, and that photo should still be on my DA page somewhere. But anyway, I remember stating that I had never seen any of the "Short Circuit" movies, because I wasn't born back in the 80's. Well tonight, I'm going to rectify that by checking out both of these movies this month.

I'm certainly hoping that this first movie is going to be a good start to this mini-franchise. But the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is worth watching, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Short Circuit".

7 minutes later

OK, so this guy is moving this entire presentation about the S.A.I.N.T.S robots inside because it's starting to rain. Yet, as I'm seeing right now in the next scene, as they're moving the guests and everyone else involved in the presentation, there is no rain to be found. I know this is a very trivial thing to be complaining about, but I think it would've made more sense if it WAS raining, as they were moving this presentation to the Nova Laboratories. The fact that I'm seeing no rain right now comes across as a little bit odd to me. Again, it's stupid, and completely trivial, but it was something that I noticed.

12 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a stupid question. So, this General has been told to retrieve the robot, which I'm just gonna call it Johnny Five by this point. And he's been told to not destroy the robot. I get where this General is coming from, because nobody knows the current state of Johnny Five. But if he's gonna go out of his way to destroy Johnny Five, wouldn't that be going against your superior's orders? Because why would you try to destroy something, if you don't know what it's going to do? It just seems a little bit stupid to me that he's going to try to destroy this thing, even though they have no idea what the current state of this robot is like. I don't know, but it just sounds like we're jumping to conclusions without knowing what's going on with Johnny Five at the moment.

6 minutes later

Is that a skunk? Why the fuck would you keep a skunk in the house?! I get that this place is, I guess, an animal shelter of sorts, but why would anyone ever have a skunk indoors? It just doesn't make any real sense to me considering the nature of those creatures. I always figured that you would keep those creatures outside. But hey, I guess maybe it's OK to keep a skunk as a pet. I wouldn't know. But that just looks incredibly wrong to me.

16 minutes later

Wow, I didn't think Johnny Five would be able to drive a truck, even after getting "input" from reading a driver's manual. That's...kinda new to me. OK granted, it's not great at driving right now. But still, at least it's learning.

10 minutes later

Wait, so even though Johnny Five was technically shut down a few minutes ago, he used a wrench to push his red button, and I guess his memories are operational again? OK...so, I guess just pressing a button is not enough. So how do you shut these robots down, aside from the obvious answer of destroying them? I'm a little bit confused, guys, but I'm gonna wait and see where this movie's gonna go from here.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, as funny as this scene is with Johnny Five dancing, I wish the music he was listening to was actually any good. You guys can't hear it for obvious reasons, but this disco music is fucking terrible. Granted, that's not really a shocker, considering disco music barely has anything worth listening to. But you would've assumed by the mid-80's, we would've gotten passed the train wreck known as disco. But apparently, I was wrong.

16 minutes later

OK, I was wondering what Johnny Five was doing to those robots after he shut them down. I didn't think he would reprogram them to act like the Three Stooges. But you know what? That is a really awesome reference, and I'm kinda happy to see that Johnny Five has taste in comedies.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Short Circuit". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off...OK. Well...what to start with first? I'll be honest, this film is gonna be a bit of tough one for me to review. But I'm gonna try to explain why when I talk about the movie.

I guess I should start with writing. Writing here...is kind of a mixed bag. I will start by saying that this movie is definitely not going to appeal everyone. And it's for reasons that sorta vary. One of the biggest ones, at least for me, has to do with it's premise. OK, so we have Number 5, who I'm still going to refer to him as Johnny Five, which is a robot that use to be a part of Nova Laboratories. It ends up getting struck by lightning, which causes his circuitry to end up getting malfunctioned, and he ends up getting out of Nova Laboratories through a garbage compartment, and ends up on a garbage truck. And as he's riding on the garbage truck, he see's a butterfly, and he's fascinated by the creature. Which then later ends up with him ending up at Stephanie's house. And soon as Stephanie discovers him, he starts to ask for more input. So she ends up showing Johnny Five her house, and everything that's in it. But then he starts asking for more input, which leads him into discovering more information through books and television. Basically, this entire premise is about Johnny Five trying to learn about how we, as human beings, operate and how we use words to communicate. And that's really the central theme for this movie, when it comes Johnny Five. He learns about the differences between being alive and what it means to be disassembled. Which definitely freaks him the fuck out, after Stephanie calls Nova and tells Johnny Five that they are going to take him back to Nova Laboratories, and that they're going to reprogram him, or dissemble him, if you will. And this is gonna lead to one of the biggest problems that this movie has, which is the rather slow pacing. Now, I've stated many times in the past that I have no problems with movies having a slower pace. After all, I've seen plenty of Westerns that have really slow pacing and, for the most part, they're able to tell their stories really well. And this movie definitely takes it's time to build up Johnny Five's character, which is probably the most interesting of the entire cast. You really do feel for Johnny Five, because he's trying to fit in with how we live. And the stuff he does in this movie is definitely funny, when the movie wants to be funny. And that's really the best part of the entire movie is whenever it focuses on Johnny Five.

Which is now going to lead me into talking about the other characters, and this is where the other big problem comes in with this movie. Our characters are incredibly dull. I'm gonna start with Newton Crosby, which is Steve Guttenberg's character in this movie. He's basically the robotics expert that is trying to get Johnny Five back after it escapes. Well, his friend and employee, Ben, helps out too. As for Ben, he's really nothing more than an Indian stereotype. Basically, I want you to imagine Apu from "The Simpsons", but with less charm. Going back to Newton, his character is incredibly boring, because he really doesn't have much of a character to speak of. The only time that the movie tries to give him any kind of development is when he starts to develop a relationship with Stephanie. Which doesn't work, because this kind of development doesn't happen up until around the last 20 minutes of the movie. So, by then, it's too little too late. And it just comes across as incredibly forced, and the chemistry doesn't really mesh well either. Especially when Newton is told by Stephanie that Johnny Five is alive, and he has feelings. And throughout most of the movie, Newton doesn't really believe that, and keeps insisting that machines don't have feelings and cannot produce them. And he believes that, up until he finds out that Johnny Five reprogrammed the other S.A.I.N.T.S robots that were after him from Nova, as the Three Stooges. Now, he's still skeptical about Johnny Five having feelings, up until he tells a really long, and really stupid, joke that wasn't funny at all. But, I guess to Johnny Five, it was funny to him. But anyway, this ends up with Stephanie and Newton hugging each other, and I'm suppose to believe that these two characters have chemistry with each other. Which is rather baffling, because throughout most of the movie, Johnny Five ends up being around Stephanie, and I felt like there was more of a connection between those two rather than Newton. Then again, I think part of the reason why Newton is so bland in this movie has to do with Steve Guttenberg's acting. But I'll get more into that when I cover acting.

So, I guess I should talk about the other character in this movie, Stephanie. She's also kinda bland, but at least she's slightly more interesting than Newton is. We first see her as an animal caretaker. So, she has a lot of animals such as dogs, cats, birds, bunnies, an ant farm, and a skunk for whatever reason. Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would ever keep a skunk in a house. But again, I don't know how often it is for anyone to keep a skunk as a domesticated pet. But who knows? I'm sure someone's going to correct me on that. And if that IS the case, then I guess you learn something new everyday, don't you? But setting aside that issue, when Stephanie first sees Johnny Five, she thinks she's seeing an alien. But later on, after he stays overnight at her place, she finds out that he's from Nova Laboratories. And after she calls Nova to come get the robot from her, it leads to the conversation about what I discussed earlier when Johnny Five learns about being disassembled. Well, sort of. He actually learns this after he sees a grasshopper, and ends up mimicking it's hopping. Once he accidentally kills it though, Stephanie tells him that he can't be reassembled. And then you know where the conversation is going to lead to. But here's where my issues with Stephanie comes in. It seems as though she likes pulling a 180 on how she feels about Johnny Five. The first time she does this, I didn't mind it then, because after she discovers what Johnny Five says when it means to be alive, she quickly changes her mind about him. Yeah sure, she did call Nova to try and take Johnny Five back to Nova Laboratories, but it made sense then. Because she didn't know about Johnny Five's will to live, so I'm willing to give that a pass. But then later on in the movie, after he comes back to her house and discovers her in the bathtub, she decides to let him stay the night, but would then have to leave afterwards. So, the next day, as Johnny Five is trying to cook breakfast, Stephanie's psycho ex-boyfriend stops by with his rifle. I should mention that this isn't the first time we see Stephanie's ex-boyfriend, because we see him much earlier on in the beginning of the movie. So the reason why he has a rifle with him is because there is a bounty on Johnny Five for $25,000, and that's why he's there. Stephanie doesn't let him in at first, but since she was stupid enough to leave a spare key on the top of her door, he gets in and discovers the robot. And for whatever reason, she's, like, trying to convince him to try and talk like a normal person around Johnny Five instead of as a robot. And when he mentions Nova, Johnny Five freaks out and starts to run, well roll away. And at that moment, Stephanie yells for Johnny Five to run. And at that point I was like, make up your fucking mind, woman! Do you care about Johnny Five and don't want to see him be destroyed? Then help out. To which she does, but I wish this bitch would actually keep some consistency on how she feels about Johnny Five. Beyond that, nobody else here has any real character in this movie. Like I said, the only one who you'll end up caring the most about is Johnny Five. And everyone else is just there for the sake of being there. You won't end up caring about the forced relationship between Newton and Stephanie, because it just happens so suddenly. So...yeah, the characters in this movie kinda suck, with the one lone exception being Johnny Five.

So overall, I can definitely say that the writing here is kinda weak. But then again...I don't really mind that, because the character of Johnny Five makes up for most of the movie. So, it's kind of a give and take situation. You're gonna get flat characters, but the one that really matters the most ends up stealing the show, and makes the movie worth watching for that reason alone. But what about the acting? Well, the acting here is OK. I do need to make mention of two particular actors. One of them is Ally Sheedy as Stephanie. Her acting is rather cheesy, because she gives out a lot of corny dialogue. Which, I guess since this thing came out in the 80's, maybe that was to be expected. But she also curses a few times in this movie. And for a family film, it wouldn't be that noticeable. But some words such as "shit", which comes from Guttenberg and Johnny Five, don't sound very PG to me. But I guess maybe it was fine back in 1986. If this thing came out today, it would definitely get a PG-13 rating. But anyway, setting aside that issue, the acting from Ally Sheedy is OK, if just a little bit corny. I can't say the same for Steve Guttenberg, however. His acting was fucking terrible in this movie. A lot of his dialogue doesn't sound very natural. And because of that, he comes across as rather stilted. Now, mind you, I haven't seen a ton of movies involving Steve Guttenberg. The only one that I can think of right at the top of my mind is "Twister". And it worked there, because his dialogue in that movie sounded very natural. He talked like a normal person. Here though, he doesn't natural in the slightest, and it makes his performance in this movie the worst out of the entire cast. However, as for everyone else in the cast, they turned in decent showings. None of it is going to set the world on fire, but it's certainly decent for what was in this movie.

Special effects are really good. For a movie that had a rather low budget of $15 million dollars, these are some really solid special effects. I'm talking about anything involving the lightning at the beginning of the movie, the pyrotechnics, and the laser beams from any of the S.A.I.N.T.S. robots. Speaking of which, the puppeteering on these robots are pretty good, too. They move, and function, on how a real robot would move. Now, of course, when you're making a sci-fi movie, you would want to focus on how good your special effects are going to be. And, like I said, for a movie that had kind of a low budget, this is some really fascinating stuff from the mid-80's. So, if you want another reason to watch this movie, then definitely watch it for the special effects.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting is lit well. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. Music, for the most part, is pretty good, except for one scene. And I touched upon this earlier on, but there's a scene in the movie where Johnny Five is watching TV, and he's watching a movie called "Saturday Night Fever". I should mention that earlier on, he learns a lot of mannerisms from what he's been watching. Whether it involves the Three Stooges, an old black and white film, or a John Wayne movie. And all of that works fine. And I mentioned earlier on how Johnny Five had good taste in comedies. Well, I wish he had good tastes in music, because the music from what he was watching was terrible. Now again, I want to reiterate this. This thing came out in 1986. By that point, disco had been long since dead. And I wish this movie would've left that shit to die, but, sadly, they decided to include some of that in this movie. Now mind you, I have never seen "Saturday Night Fever", but if that is the kind of shit disco music that movie has to offer, then I'm probably never gonna watch that thing, because disco music is basically the modern pop music that we have today. But anyway, aside from that one moment of really terrible disco music, the soundtrack here is OK. None of it is great, but it's certainly decent for what it is.

Overall, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Short Circuit"? Um...kind of, yes. I want to state that this movie is not terrible, but it's certainly not great, either. If you are interested in studying robotics, then I would totally recommend it to those people. If you're looking for something different in sci-fi films that doesn't focus on the tired, cliche trope of futuristic doom and gloom, then give this thing a watch. It's certainly a unique film. But if you're somebody who doesn't care about any of that, then there's no way I can recommend this movie. I should also stress that this movie focuses on a much more slower-paced story. And I know that there are those who don't care about that kind of storytelling. And if that is the case, then you're gonna want to avoid this kind of movie. But, overall, I would say it's OK. Like I said, it's not great, but it's certainly worth watching, if just for Johnny Five and the special effects. Everything else is just kind of bland. I'm kinda hoping that the sequel is going to improve on this, but I'll have to wait and see when I eventually review that movie later this month. Now...seeing as how there were a bunch of references to the Three Stooges in this movie, I'm gonna go and watch some episodes of it on YouTube. Because it has been a long time since I watched anything involving the Three Stooges, so I'm gonna go and do that. Because the Three Stooges almost never fails to make me laugh.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.