Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a black comedy from 2000. That movie is "Cecil B. Demented".
I cannot begin to tell you guys how long I've had this movie in reserves and never got around to it. Mainly because, other movies had higher priorities on my schedule. So, I just kept putting it off, and putting it off some more, until recently, I had an opening for my schedule, saw that I had still had this film on me and I've finally decided to buckle down and finally get around to watching it. So I'm actually hoping that it's finally worth it after all this time.
Now the premise to this movie is actually really interesting. Basically, it's about a group of terrorists, who ends up kidnapping our female lead into making an underground movie of sorts for them. What kind of movie it is in context is something that I don't know at this time. But I will say that it does sound rather interesting. And I also know the movie was directed by John Waters, who's had a rather interesting history with movies and TV. Mind you, now, this is the very first of anything of his that I'm watching, so I'm curious to see if this film will be a good beginner for me of his.
Other than that, guys, I don't know what else to expect from this movie. Like I said, I hope that it'll finally be worth watching after putting it off for so long. So I may as well just see if this film is any good at all. And the only way I'll know that for sure is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Cecil B. Demented".
7 minutes later
So, guys, I'm going to assume that this is suppose to be our actress, Honey Whitlock, who will soon be kidnapped. And she's already becoming the most unlikable character in the entire movie. However, I could also apply that to a good majority of actors from Hollywood who also put on that facade, too. I hope, by the time this movie ends, that she ends up being dead after all this is over. Calling it right now.
9 minutes later
You know, guys, what's kinda weird about all this? So Cecil has taken in Honey hostage, and his goons are basically forcing everyone out of the theater in their terroristic ways. And yet, the kid who is in a wheelchair and just got done with surgery, is still up on stage, and seems to be taking all this pretty well. I'm not totally sure how I would react if I was in his situation, but I don't think laughing at the whole thing isn't something I would do. But maybe that's just me.
11 minutes later
Cecil: Do you SEE the pain your performance is causing me?!
Dude, your actors aren't really any bettor. Yes, I know the joke is that the acting for his movie is probably suppose to be bad, but I've seen low budget movies with horrible acting, and they don't compare to the horrible acting that Cecil's actors are doing. Just thought I'd mention that.
6 minutes later
So, upon entering the theater, Cecil and his actors, along with Honey, are rolling their film in real time. And as soon as they interrupt a screening of "Patch Adams", they throw tear gas into the crowd and then they just immediately retreat after saying their lines. I really thought they were gonna do more than that to "destroy cinema", like mass murder or something. But no, they just throw tear gas at the people watching "Patch Adams" and...that's it. I'm gonna be honest, guys, that scene really kinda sucked. Oh, and also, this song that's playing right now is also really shit, too. Thankfully, you guys can't hear it for obvious reasons. But still, that song, and that scene before that, really sucked.
17 minutes later
Wow, guys, this movie couldn't be stupider if it actually tried. So, we just had a shootout between Cecil's actors and some police officers at this film festival of sorts. And out of all that, we have one of Cecil's actors shot dead, Cecil himself being injured, two officers down, and Honey turning herself in, only for her to realize that her name power doesn't mean anything when the officers take her in, and she tries to yell at Cecil for help. Oh, and now Cecil and his cronies are going to rescue her, and they're *still* filming their stupid movie. God damn it, this movie is becoming stupider with each passing minute, and I'm not sure how much more of it's stupidity I can actually take!
8 minutes later
So, Honey was actually married to Eric Roberts. That's...a little interesting. Not really funny, mind you, but still, at least that's kinda sorta interesting.
7 minutes later
All right, I have a dumb question here, and I know it's too late for me to be asking this, but where the hell is security?! You would think that, with how Cecil and his crew of retards have been invading cinema related places, that they would have tighter security in response to all these terror attacks from Cecil and his posse. But I guess that's not the case, because the people of Baltimore, Maryland are fucking retarded. And I'll get to why later once I start reviewing this thing.
The Review
Well, guys, that was "Cecil B. Demented". Thank fuck, it's over...no, shut up. I'm done listening to your bullshit soundtrack, movie. Fuck off! Jesus Christ, that was horrible...! So, I guess that sorta gives away what I thought about the movie, but yeah, this movie fucking sucked.
So, let's just try to get into this one and see what the hell I can dissect here. Let's start with the writing. The writing in this movie fucking stupid as hell. Now granted, there are some things here that, on the surface, are actually kinda clever. Because this movie, even though it came out in 2000, actually does poke fun at the idea of stuff like movie's getting remade or the rise of more video game movie adaptations being released in theaters, or nowadays, streaming services. If this thing were actually remade today, I guarantee that almost everything here would be made with modern ways to watch movies and TV shows. But even then, I strongly doubt that this movie would ever be remade today because Hollywood movies are completely different now to how they were made in the early 2000's. Which, for some people, will some seem like we had it better back then, but I personally think that it goes far beyond that. However, I don't want to turn this into some preachy mess about how movies back then were "so much better" in comparison to today's movies. Which I find it to be a bit unfair, because there were a lot of shit movies back then that still suck today. At least, from my perspective, a lot of movies are like that. And this movie is no exception.
Now with that aside, I do want to talk about one of the biggest problems with this movie is that the whole film just feels like a chaotic mess. One stupid thing leads to another after Cecil and his goons kidnap Honey Whitlock, and it just gets stupider each time Cecil and his gang shoot their movie in real time by sabotaging theaters and trying to destroy modern cinema. Which, OK, the premise itself had a lot of promise, but it really doesn't feel natural because, like I said just a moment ago, it just begins and ends with a chaotic mess. It especially gets more stupider each time Cecil and his gang get into a shootout with either the Baltimore police or any of the staff for the "Forrest Gump" sequel. Both of these scenes in particular are some of the stupidest scenes I have scene in a movie in quite a while. And both of them have similar patterns when it comes to their scenes.
The biggest I'm gonna give out is when they invade the Maryland Film Commission and they eventually get into a shootout with the police offers of Baltimore. And it's where I have to point out a remark I made about the people of Maryland being complete retards. Because it looked like there was no security at the event. Even when shortly after Cecil and his band of retards enter the fray and start causing a commotion when they're filming their movie live. And when the police arrive, there was only *one* cop car and two police officers that show up, both of whom are shot dead. Now I also mentioned one of Cecil's goons was also killed too. I believe his name was Fidget. He actually ends up surviving somehow, probably had bulletproof vest on or something. Now more officers do show up, especially when two of them end up taking in Honey after she temporarily gives up to them. And it's shortly after when Cecil and friends show up to push aside the police car with their van. Now how and why exactly the police didn't end up chasing after them after their little shootout at the Maryland Film Commission is something I don't understand. I'm going to assume maybe they weren't prepped enough or some such shit like that.
Which then brings me to the other scene where they were filming "Forrest Gump 2". Again, almost the exact same thing happens, except some of the staff on set got free and actually fight back with their own guns. They actually took out a couple of Cecil's goons, but Cecil and his group still got away. And continuing on with the people of Baltimore, Maryland being complete retards, there was no security on site around the lot. Which, you would think that they would have some degree of security, especially since Cecil and his goons have been going around sabotaging theaters and stuff related to cinema while filming their stupid movie, but no, that's not what happens. Instead, it just shows more proof that the people of Baltimore, Maryland are stupid as shit and the police of Baltimore are also incompetent retards for not actually going to any lengths to not beef up any security. Now yes, I'm sure an argument could be made that they wouldn't know where Cecil would strike next, but Baltimore can't be *that* fucking big, can it? And since Cecil's not operating out of Baltimore anyways, that would make it easier for them to cover some kind of ground against them. But then again, maybe I'm just putting too logic into a movie that seems to be allergic to it.
Which then brings me to my next point, because there's always that one person who's going to try and say that I'm taking this film way too seriously, and that I should just take it for what it's trying to present itself as, which is suppose to be a satire on the film industry, and enjoy it for what it is. And maybe, if I went into it with my brain shut off, then there would've been a slight chance that argument could hold water. However, I can't really do that here because a lot of it here isn't really that funny. Some of it is clever, sure, but I wouldn't constitute it as funny. A lot of the movie is just chaotic as hell and you're not given a whole lot of breathing room to try and maybe flesh out more of the writing or try to develop it's characters a bit.
Speaking of, that brings me into the other problem this movie has. Almost all of the characters in this movie are completely void of personality and depth. In fact, there's one trait that Cecil and his goons all have. Basically, guys, they're all horny as shit. Whether it's for each other, or for Honey Whitlock. And as I said, their personalities aren't really all that better. I could barely remember any names, save for Honey Whitlock, Cecil, Cherish, and Fidget. Everyone else, I could just write off as a horny retard and just leave it at that, but I'm gonna try to name off a few things that I remembered about certain characters. Honey is unlikable, both before she gets kidnapped and when she is forced to join Cecil's band of retards. Cecil himself has just one personality of trying to get his movie finished before he and Cherish can fuck each other. Cherish is a former porn star who claims to have been molested by her parents and brother. I say that she claims that, because it's never really confirmed whether that was true or not. Fidget is the only one I can remember that's kind of a weakling and is coerced in trying to call his parents by Honey. Which goes nowhere, even after he contacts his parents. And Maggie Gyllenhaal's character is that she's a satanist, which I find incredibly laughable for my own reasons. But still, she really isn't interesting whatsoever, just like the rest of the characters in this movie.
So yeah, guys, I think it's easy for me to say that the writing here is just a stupid mess. And normally, I enjoy stupid movies, but this shit is too much, even for me. Which is pretty sad to say, because this movie did have a lot of potential to be really interesting. But as is, it's not interesting enough for me to watch a second time on. Now I will say that, despite me not really liking the story that much, the acting is mostly really good, save for Maggie Gyllenhaal, who's easily the worst actress in this entire movie. Part of that is because Maggie Gyllenhaal can't act for shit, and ever since her role in "The Dark Knight", I really haven't gone out of my to watch anything that she's involved in. Granted, I didn't know that she was in this movie until I saw her name in the opening credits and I was forced to watch her act in this movie. And she didn't even do a passable job at it. That being said, everyone else here did a pretty good job with the material that they were given to work with. So, I gotta most of them props because they actually did try, except Maggie here, of course.
Special effects mostly consist of pyrotechnics, blood, and blanks for gun play. There's honestly not much I can say about it, other than that it's just fine, really. Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting is lit really well. Sound-mixing here is also good. The music, however, is complete shit. Almost every single piece of music used in this movie is awful, especially the ones that center around Cecil himself. They're all terrible songs, and it's easily the second worst thing about this movie, aside from the messy writing.
So, I guess it goes without saying, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Cecil B. Demented"? Personally, no, because the writing here is too stupid and chaotic to find any enjoyment out of. Unless if you're either into this sort of thing, or if you go into it with your brain shut off, then there is slight possibility that you might really enjoy this film. But as for me, I really don't see myself ever watching this movie again. Like I said, the story had a lot of promise, and in the hands of a competent writer, I probably think that it could've been great. But unfortunately, what I got here instead is a stupidly written plot, along with stupid characters, that I can't see myself ever going back to this film ever again. I just can't do it here. So now, I'm gonna go and watch something better. Perhaps I'll find something better that's both stupid and charming at the same time. And you know what? The first movie that comes to mind is the 1994 live action "Street Fighter" movie. I'm gonna go and watch that next just so I can find some joy in something rather than what I just watched for this series.
Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.
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