Reaction & Review | Fit To Kill

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm covering the 8th installment in Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series, which came out in 1993. That movie is "Fit To Kill".

Now, I actually do know a little bit about this movie. First off, like I already stated, it's the 8th film in the 'Triple B" series, and it was actually intended to be the last film in the "Triple B" franchise. Of course, that turned out to be a lie, because there's at least 4 more of these movies after this one. And on that note, I'm gonna let you all know right now that after this movie, I'm gonna be putting this franchise on hiatus again. Because like I mentioned before in my Reaction & Review for "Savage Beach", I don't want to burn myself out with these movies, so I'll save the last few for another time.

As for tonight's movie, I don't know anything about the plot to this thing. However, I don't think it's really gonna matter much, considering a lot of these movies have had really stupid plots to begin with. So regardless, I'm not really gonna ask for much when it comes to it's "gripping storytelling". The only thing I want out of this thing is to be entertaining. And hopefully it'll at least be better than the previous Andy Sidaris film I covered, which was "Hard Hunted". In case you didn't read my review for "Hard Hunted", it kinda sucked. So I'm hoping for this one to kinda rebound itself and be better than that movie was. And if it can do at least that much, then this movie has already accomplished more than enough for me.

Still though, I shouldn't be getting too ahead of myself here. Because it's still possible that this movie could totally suck. Mind you, most of the films I've seen from this franchise haven't totally sucked, aside from "Hard Hunted", but it could still be a possibility here. However, I won't know for sure unless I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Fit To Kill".

14 minutes later

So, our female spy here is wearing, what I'm going to assume is suppose to be, a black thong over her skin-suit. Why would you wear that over your skin-suit? Is it because it wouldn't fit properly if she fit it inside it? I'm not an expert on women's clothing, but it's just something I feel like I needed to point out, you know?

9 minutes later

All right, I have a question about something, and it's just been bugging me a little bit. What exactly is Shane Abilene good for here? The man can't shoot for shit, as it has been demonstrated yet again, so what the hell is this guy's purpose for? I kinda wish to see *any* of the other Abilene brothers again, but for some reason, Shane's the only one that's still around, and I kinda wish he wasn't, because he's the most boring member of all the Abilene's from these movies I've seen up to this point! Good god, I wish he would just fucking die already since he's been incredibly useless, but sadly, at this point, I don't really see that happening.

3 minutes later

You know, out of all the things I was expecting to see from these particular movies, stock footage from World War II was definitely not one of them. Mind you, it is something different, but I'm not sure how much significance this will have on the actual movie itself. Just something I wanted to make mention of.

16 minutes later

So Kane's plan, after knocking out Donna with chloroform, was to have Blue Steele chloroform him as well, so that he won't be suspected of stealing the diamond, while she and Kane's henchman secretly steal the diamond. I will say, as kinda stupid as that plan is, it actually kinda sorta makes sense, in a way. It's still really stupid, but at least it's somewhat clever.

7 minutes later

You guys know how I mentioned in the previous Andy Sidaris flick where it felt very tame and played itself a little bit too safe? Well, this one is back to amping it up with it's sex scenes, because I've seen a lot more of it here than in "Hard Hunted". And this scene in particular almost feels like a softcore porno flick. So, if anything else, at least it's back to remind the viewer of why you wanted to watch these movies in the first place.

15 minutes later

OK, I have a legitimate question here. As a kid, I use to play around with remote-controlled toy vehicles. But was it really ever possible to change the control of a remote control car from a change of radio frequencies? I'm only asking this, because our two dipshit assassins are trying to use a remote-controlled toy car to blow up and kill Edy and her partner, only for some random passersby to change the radio station on a really archaic-looking radio and switch the vehicles direction back towards our idiot assassins. I'm really curious here because it's something that I've never seen happen before, you know what I mean?

3 minutes later

So two of our heroes, I don't know if one of them is suppose to be Nicole or not, just killed the last robber from the jewelry store, but also, our male protagonist, just blew up their secret hideout...which also contained all of the cash and jewelry that was stolen earlier in the movie. Great job, guys, you *totally* showed how heroic you truly are.

12 minutes later

You know, guys, if there's one other thing I wasn't expecting to see in this movie, Kane fantasizing about Donna in his own head is definitely not one of them. Then again, considering how much this movie has been showing off it's sex scenes, I probably should've expected something like this coming. But still, this one is a little bit weird, at least to me it is.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Fit To Kill". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off now...OK. So...where to even start here? Well, earlier, the one thing that I stated was that I wanted this one to be at least better than "Hard Hunted" was. And, mission accomplished, it did just that. This movie is definitely better than "Hard Hunted". Now mind you, that's not saying a whole lot here, considering it's a low bar to pass, and I have seen better movies in the "Triple B" series that were far better than this one. But I'm not gonna say that it wasn't interesting to watch either. So at least there is that.

Now, let's go ahead and get started here by first discussing the writing. Now in the past several films of this series, I've been able to kinda summarize the plot to each of these movies. Yeah sure, they weren't exactly important, as most action movie fans care more about the action than it's plot, but I was able to at least piece together something that resembled a story so that you guys can have an idea as to what you're getting yourself into. This one, however...I really can't do that here. And the reason why I can't is because there's really not much of a story here at all. The only things I'm able to piece together here is something about a diamond that was discovered during WWII, and we get some kinda odd history lesson about the diamond's significance involving the Russians and this general from WWII that may possibly be the father of Kane, our villain from the previous 2 movies. I could totally be mistaken there because I wasn't entirely paying attention to it. I was more flabbergasted by the fact that they showed stock footage from WWII into this movie. And what's even stranger is that there is one scene that is recreated in real time in the movie about one of the generals going after the diamond. That's it. Everything else is just a history lesson about WWII during that entire bit.

Believe me, guys, when I say that the story here doesn't make any sense. And in most cases, I would have a bigger issue with that, however, as I've mentioned time and again about these particular movies, plot is the last thing you're going to care about when it comes to an Andy Sidaris flick. There are only 3 things you are going to care about. Women showing their boobs, over-the-top action scenes, and the sex scenes. And when it comes to the latter, they really amp it up here. In fact, I believe this movie, out of all the films I've seen in the "Triple B" series up to this point, is quite possibly the horniest film of the entire series. I never thought I'd actually get to say something like that about a movie before, but this one is definitely an exception, because I think there are more sex scenes here than any of the previous Andy Sidaris films had beforehand. Which, if you are somebody who's into that, well, you'll get more than enough to satisfy yourself. As for the action scenes, well, surprisingly, it's not as over-the-top as previous movies were, but they're still here, and you might get a kick out of them, too.

Now, I do want to talk about a scene that I mentioned earlier. So, in "Hard Hunted", there was a scene I talked about that felt like a pace-breaker. And that was the scene where Kane hired two assassins to kill Edy and her partner. And it ended in a very cartoon-like fashion. Well, guess what? This movie recycles that same plot point, only this time, instead of two assassins that were code-named Wile and Coyote, their new code names are "Evil" and "Knievel". I shit you not, guys, that is what they are called here. And like before, they also fail in cartoon-like fashion, and the scene serves nothing other than to add filler. In fact, thinking about it now, I wondered if Andy Sidaris, when he wrote that scene originally in "Hard Hunted" that he thought it was so *hilarious* that he decided to do it again here and thought he could get another laugh out of it. I don't know, but regardless, I didn't think I would ever get to see a scene in which he repeats the same scene beat for beat. But yeah, he did, and it wasn't really all that funny.

I could also mention that this movie does have the same problems as "Hard Hunted" did, in which the pacing is rather slow, and the characters are all kinda flat and shallow. However, as is the case with an Andy Sidaris action flick, those things aren't really gonna matter in the long run. Maybe more so in pacing, since some people would like to see something happening sooner rather than later, but I can honestly overlook the lack of character depth because, at this point, it really doesn't matter anyway. Which is why this is the last movie where you'll see Donna Hamilton in action. Yeah, for some reason, she's gone for the rest of the series going forward, which is either a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it.

And since I'm on the subject of Donna, let's go straight into the acting here. Now normally, I would say that the acting here isn't very good, which is mostly on par with a lot of films made by Andy Sidaris, however, I'm going to cut this film a little bit of slack, because while the acting isn't exactly great, it's probably the better effort I've seen in this series since "Savage Beach". Dona Speir was able to give out a decent performance on her part, as did most of the reprising cast here. And that includes Geoffrey Moore (AKA R.J. Moore), who also reprises his role as Kane. He honestly sounded pretty OK on camera and didn't sound like he was phoning it in either. So I gotta give him props here for doing his best.

Special effects are, again, what you've come to expect from a low budget action film made by Andy Sidaris. Mild blood effects, squib work on guns, and pyrotechnics are all here and they haven't really changed whatsoever. Same goes goes for camerawork, lighting, sound-mixing, and score. The latter isn't great, mind you, but it's a slight above the previous two films in this series, so at least there is that.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Fit To Kill"? For the most part, yes. As long as you have been keeping up with the "Triple B" series, and you've enjoyed them up to this point, then this movie will feel right at home for you. It's what you've come to expect from an Andy Sidaris flick, and it's pretty entertaining, too. Granted, it's not quite as interesting as some of his previous flicks like "Malibu Express" or "Do or Die", but it's still entertaining enough to where it's able to stand on it's own merits. The plot isn't really there, but then again, you're not gonna really care about the plot, just the other stuff that I already mentioned beforehand. Quite frankly, guys, despite a couple of bumps here and there, I'm still very impressed with these sorts of movies. And I'm hoping that the remaining 4 in this series will live up to the ridiculous, entertaining standards that these movies have mostly lived up to. For now, though, like I said, I'm gonna put the "Triple B" series on hold for now and focus on some other movies I have lined up coming very soon.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Critters 4

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm finally gonna conclude this run of the "Critters" franchise by taking a look at the 4th entry that came off the combo pack that I bought. This movie came out in 1992. That movie is "Critters 4".

Now, if I had to summarize my thoughts on the "Critters" franchise as a whole, I think they've all been pretty good. Even though all of them are kinda, sorta flawed, I still really enjoyed watching these movies. And unlike the "Phantasm" series where each film's quality lowered, this is one franchise where I can forgive it's flaws because they're still very entertaining as a whole. So yeah, I've enjoyed watching the first 3 "Critters" movies.

Which then brings me to the fourth entry here. Now I would love to tell you guys that I'm really looking forward to watching this movie, however, part of me is going into this one with a bit of caution. You see, for those of you who may not know, when it comes to a 4th sequel in your film franchise, especially a horror movie franchise, it's usually the turning point in which the movies start to show their decline in quality. To give you guys some examples, "Wishmaster 4" was absolutely terrible and also ended up killing the franchise as a whole. And as I sorta mentioned a moment ago, "Phantasm IV" also suffered a great decline in quality with it's storytelling and is easily the weakest film in that franchise, at least for me it is.

So, going into this 4th "Critters" movie, I'm sorta going into this one with low expectations. Because this is obviously the 4th entry in it's series, I'm not expecting this thing to "wow" me in the slightest. However, I'm still kinda looking forward to watching this thing. Because I enjoyed the previous 3 movies, and this one could actually surprise me somehow and wind up being genuinely decent. I don't know if it will, though. The only way I'm gonna find out if I end up liking this movie or not is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Critters 4".

20 minutes later

Sorry, guys, for not saying a whole lot right now, but this movie hasn't really given me a whole lot to work with so far. I'm hoping things will pick up sooner rather than later, but right now, this movie's off to a rather slow start.

7 minutes later

You know, guys, out of all the things I was expecting while watching a "Critters" movie, I wasn't really expecting someone peeping into a shower while watching someone bathe at the same time. It's kinda sorta creepy, and also, the captain himself has become rather unlikable, so I'm hoping maybe-oh, well at least he got decked by the woman who was showering, so at least that's something. Anyway, I'm hoping he'll get massively murdered by the Krites at some point in this movie, because he kinda deserves it.

11 minutes later

OK, well, I've never seen a Krite get inside of a human's mouth before. Well, it's technically halfway into Rick's mouth, but still at least's something kinda unique, so I gotta give them that much.

17 minutes later

O...K...I literally have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at, guys. This thing looks like a...hand monster, I think, with an ugly-looking face. Seriously, guys, I have no idea the hell that thing is suppose to be. It looks kinda nasty and a little bit fucked up.

19 minutes later

So that's what a Krite looks like as a baby...interesting. Usually, they're really hairy creatures, but this one's just all skin and teeth, apparently. You learn something new every day, don't ya?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Critters 4", and let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. God, um...where to start with this one...? Well, I can safely confirm one thing to you guys. Out of all 4 of the "Critters" movies that I have seen in this series, this one is easily the weakest entry of the entire series. I kinda had a feeling that it wasn't going to be as good as the previous 3 movies were, but I was still hoping for it to be at least halfway decent. Unfortunately, that's probably asking for a bit much here.

Why don't we go ahead and start this review off proper here. Let's start with the writing. And the first thing that I want to touch upon is the movie's tone. See, the previous 3 movies in this series were aiming to be lighthearted comedies. And they worked, because, as I mentioned beforehand, these movies were aiming to cash in on the success of the 'Gremlins" movies. And what's similar between them and the first 3 "Critters" movies was that they were mostly horror comedies. They leaned in on having some dark moments, but not to a point where they couldn't have some fun with themselves. And that's what mostly held those first 3 movies together, because the writing was very solid, even with some minor flaws here and there. I just was able to overlook those flaws, because the writing was just strong enough to where they wound up being very entertaining creature movies.

So, where does this 4th movie go from here? Well, first of all, this movie goes in a completely different direction with it's tone. Essentially, guys, this movie is a straight-up Sci-fi horror movie, and is also the darkest film of the entire series. Now, I honestly wouldn't have much of a problem with this, if the writing itself was actually interesting. Unfortunately though, that's not the case. In fact, this movie falls into the same trap as "Starship Troopers 2" did. Where it tried to be an interesting Sci-fi horror movie, but instead ended up being really boring and poorly written as well. Not only that, but the pacing in this movie is dogshit. It takes 40 minutes for the actual Krites to show up in the movie. And by that point, there's only about an hour of film left. Not only that, but the kills have all been spaced out. You have the first kill by the time the Krites first show up, then 20 minutes later comes another kill, and then almost another 15-20 minutes after that comes the third kill. I have not seen pacing this bad since I watched the "Tomb Raider" movie from 2018. That's usually a bad sign when your movie almost rivals the horrible pacing of the 2018 "Tomb Raider" film.

Now since I mentioned this film being really boring, let's go a little bit more into the plot, shall we? Now being that this is the 4th entry in the "Critters" series, where do you go from here? Well, unlike the 3 previous movies where they were all set terrestrially, this one goes into space. Which, considering that we learned that they originally came from space in the first movie, this is honestly a welcome change. And they actually kinda show the last few minutes of the 3rd movie where Charlie got a signal from his ally and comrade Ug, who was the bounty hunter from the first 2 movies, telling Charlie that a capsule pod will come and that Charlie is suppose to put the eggs into the capsule so that they can contain and preserve the last two Krite eggs to exist. Unfortunately for Charlie, he ends up slipping into the capsule and is launched into space along with the eggs, and is cryogenically frozen in time until the year 2045 until his pod ends up being discovered by a space crew of humans, along with the eggs that later hatch.

And as for our space crew, as I already mentioned, they end up on an abandoned space colony where they're instructed by Ug, who contacts them after they contain the capsule, and tells them to wait there and do not disturb the pod until they get there, which would be in a couple of hours. And, like I also mentioned, the eggs hatch as the asshole space captain decides to force open the capsule, which causes him to die by the newly hatched Krites, and that's where we finally have our plot. At least, that's what I *would* say, but unfortunately, like I already talked about, the film's pacing is incredibly slow, and because of which, hardly anything of interest happens here. Which is sad to say, because you would think that a plot which involves a space crew being trapped with a couple of loose Krites on a space colony would sound really interesting. But no, they decided to become a really boring, slow, and shallow movie.

Speaking of which, our characters also follow the same suit. In terms of our space crew, there is not a single likable character of the entire cast that I could name is even worth caring for. You have the asshole captain, Rick, who dies pretty early on, thankfully. You have Bernie, who's basically an idiot. You have Fran, who's the only woman of the entire crew and also has the personality of dried-up paint. You also have Al Bert, and yes that's how his name is spelled, who's kinda, sort of the nerd of the group. And finally, you have Ethan, a normal guy who really just wants to get back to Earth. I would ask why this crew was even in space to begin with. I mean, it's not like Earth was blown up or anything. But honestly, that's probably me trying to dig into a movie that doesn't really apply much to logic.

The only character left I can mention is Charlie, because he's the only character who's in all 4 of these movies, and I will say that, unlike his appearance in "Critters 3", he actually has more to do here since he gets a little bit more screen time. And honestly, he's still the only likable character here. But then again, he actually had some resembling development throughout the previous 3 movies. And I have a feeling that if he wasn't in this movie, and it was just our generic space crew, then this movie would've just been a really bland, boring, sci-fi horror movie. Probably more so than it is now, but who can say? I could also mention more about Ug, however, I'm gonna try not to spoil anything regarding him, because it's something that I'm not too happy with, personally. Let's just put it at that.

So yeah, guys, the writing here is definitely the weakest of all 4 of the movies here. There's almost nothing about the writing that I could say is even worth mentioning in a positive way, other than having Charlie back again. But that's not saying very much, honestly. With that said, let's get into the acting here. I will say, surprisingly, that the acting here is actually pretty decent. You have Don Keith Opper reprising his role as Charlie for this 4th installment. And even our space crew, as bland and as shallow as they are, actually turn in a rather decent showing. I'm kind of surprised by that, honestly. Because usually, when you're given a script that is this poorly written, you wouldn't really expect the actors to make it work here. But they actually do, to an extent. It's still not great, but it's a lot better than phoning it in.

Special effects here are also pretty good, too. In fact, that's the one thing I can say that has mostly been a true positive about these movies is that the special effects have all held up pretty well. This movie is no exception. And I'm mostly referring to the puppeteering on the Krites themselves, along with the gore effects. Though they don't shoot spikes from their fur anymore, which is a little bit of a disappointment, admittedly. Still though, they at least still have their killing edge.

Camerawork here is OK, the lighting here is lit fine, the sound-mixed also mixed fine, and the score here is just very generic and completely forgettable. So yeah, when it comes to technical stuff, all of that is fine.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Critters 4"? Um...no, I can't. Even as someone who's enjoyed these movies, this fourth movie is just a massive disappoint. If you're really curious, you can buy the 4 pack that's on DVD or Blu-ray and check it out, though I would suggest you watch the first 3 movies before you consider watching the 4th movie. Though personally speaking, I would say just watch the first 3 movies and you can pretend that the 4th movie doesn't exist. Though that being said, I know there's technically a 5th movie, and if I somehow run into that one, I may eventually end up covering it for this series. Though I'm gonna try my best to avoid it, because after watching this 4th movie, I'm sorta dreading what this "reboot" might do to the franchise. But anyway, setting aside the possibility on covering the 5th movie, I can certainly recommend the 4 pack that's only worth it for the first 3 movies. So hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad for this series. Now...I'm gonna go and watch something else. I don't know what yet, maybe I'll just rewatch the "Gamera" trilogy from the mid-90's. It's been a little while, and I just rewatched the first movie not too long ago, so I'll probably just dive right into the second movie and have fun with that.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Hard Hunted

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we continue this run of the "Triple B" series by taking a look at the next entry that came out in 1992. That movie is "Hard Hunted".

Now, I'm gonna give you guys the basics of everything I know about this movie. It was written and directed by Andy Sidaris, it's the seventh entry in his "Triple B" series", and I know that our two female stars of the film are reprising their roles from the previous movies.

And yeah, that's pretty much what I know about it. I don't know anything about the plot. But then again, I have a feeling that it's not gonna be much of a strong point, especially if the previous film, "Do or Die", was any indication, since that one hardly had a plot to begin with. Mind you, I really enjoyed "Do or Die", so this one might continue the trend of being a really stupid action flick that has the Andy Sidaris charm added to it.

Now I have no idea if this thing is gonna be as interesting as any of the previous movies were, but that's what I'm here to find out. So really, guys, I'm just gonna jump right into this one and see what this movie has in store for me. So without further do, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to kick back, relax, and check out "Hard Hunted".

11 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song here kinda sucks. I'm not sure how to describe it, per se, all I can say is that it just really kinda sucks.

17 minutes later

OK, I have a question here, and it's something that's been bothering me about these movies. Why do people insist that shooting a flying vehicle from your own moving vehicle is a good idea? I've seen this done at least a few times in these movies and it's just been bugging me because 9 times of 10, it doesn't fucking work. The only time that it *might* work is if they pulled a random bazooka of sorts out of their asses. I know it's probably a trivial point, and it's most likely been done in other action movies, but I still have to question the logic behind it, you know what I mean?

7 minutes later

Well, guys, if there's one thing that's been consistent about Shane Abilene, aside from his horribly wooden acting, is that the guy still can't shoot for shit. I really wonder why he was given such a big ass magnum if he can't shoot it properly? I'm really curious here.

10 minutes later

So our villain, Kane, who I'll talk about later in the review, just stated that he's reacquired his property, which is the jade Buddha statue, and will drop Donna from 3000 feet in the air after she was kidnapped by his goons. Moments later, we're shown that the jade statue is no longer in his possession, which lead to Donna knocking out the guard who held her at gunpoint, taking back the jade statue, and also pulled a grenade out of nowhere before jumping out of the plane she was in, which also allowed the plane to blow up into smithereens. I think it's safe that Kane in this movie is incredibly retarded just by that one scene alone.

15 minutes later

OK, that's actually sorta cool. I've never seen someone take apart a gun like that and just put it back together. And considering that it was Donna, who may or may not have amnesia, the fact that she did it is really kinda impressive on her part.

3 minutes later

So wait a second here. So these two guys code names are Wile and Coyote. And they have a boat that has the word "ACME" written on it in bold letters. I'm...just speechless, guys, about how stupid that fucking sounds. And yet, for some reason, part of me believes that was meant to be intentional. So...props to them making an obvious reference obvious, I guess.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Hard Hunted". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Well, before I go more in depth about my thoughts on the movie, I'm gonna let you guys know now that this movie is honestly pretty dull. In fact, I'll even go so far as to admit that this is probably the weakest film I've seen from the "Triple B" series up to this point. It honestly is just not as interesting as the previous movies were. Evens films such as "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger" had a lot more going than this thing does. This movie is just kinda on the boring side of things.

I should probably talk more about this movie in depth and go into some of the problems that it has. I'll start with writing, because that's probably the biggest problem this movie suffers from the most. Now I will say, in terms of it being an Andy Sidaris film, this movie still has that charm to it. In which you have women and their big boobs, over-the-top action scenes, and you even have couple of long sex scenes here. All of that is there, and I would probably say that's all fine. However...I feel as if it dialed back it's ridiculousness a bit. Which is a stark contrast when compared to the previous film "Do or Die", which went all out on it's ridiculousness. This movie, though, felt like a tame version of that movie and it just kinda suffered because of it. Not only that, but the movie, as I've sorta mentioned already, feels really dull when compared to the previous movies because it just doesn't feel as interesting as the previous were.

Speaking of which, I want to talk about the plot for a little bit, because this movie's plot, on paper, sounds kinda interesting. So there's this jade Buddha statue that contains a trigger for a nuclear bomb, and one of the side agents named Mika ends up getting killed sometime after her cover is blown. Though before she's killed, she ends up getting the jade statue over to Donna and Nicole, which then leads to them escaping from a guy that tries to kill them with a helicopter. Then later on, Donna ends up getting kidnapped by Kane's thugs, because she's the one who has the jade statue, which then turns into a rescue mission to rescue Donna and either retrieve or destroy the trigger for the nuclear bomb. So there's some level of substance to be found here with it's story, however, the problem with this is that it's just not very interesting substance. I honesty kinda got bored around the last 20 minutes of the film or so because it seemed like it was just dragging itself out for a bit too long.

And that's another thing I wanted to comment on. The pacing in this movie is just not very good. Now granted, this has been sort of a problem with a couple of previous films from Andy Sidaris, but at least with those, they were still able to keep my interest, and the pacing issues there were minor at best. This thing, though, felt like it was over all the place. You had sex scenes which, if this were any other film that wasn't made by Andy Sidaris, I probably would've said something like they could've trimmed down these scenes and the pacing would've been slightly better. But the biggest pace breaker for me is the scene involving these two agents, who are nicknamed Wile and Coyote. I am not kidding you, guys, that is what they are called here. And they also have a boat which has the word ACME written on it. It's not only on their boat, but one of them is carrying a fucking SMG that also has the word ACME written in big letters, too! I shit you not, guys, that is the level of ridiculousness that this film goes for.

And what's sad about this is that it also disrupts the movie's pacing to a screeching halt. Basically, they were sent by Kane to take out Lucas and Edy, and surprise surprise, they failed miserably in a very cartoon-like fashion. And like I said, it's the one of the only bits goofiness that this movie goes for. There is still some cheesy lines here too, which adds a little bit more to the Sidaris charm. But sadly, it's not enough to save this movie. Because you had six movies of varying quality, and each one of those films has something in it that will make you want to keep watching them. This seventh movie, however, while it does have some fun moments, like I already mentioned, it feels really tame when compared to all of those movies. So yeah, the writing here is definitely a step down here. Which, for an action movie, will probably not matter very much to people who just want to see the action going on. But for a more serious story, it's just not as interesting at it could've been.

So now that I've said what I said about the writing. Let's get into the acting. And the first thing I need to talk about is the villain of the movie Kane. For those of you reading this for the first tine, Kane was the villain of the previous Andy Sidaris film "Do or Die". And he was also played by Mr. Miyagi's own Pat Morita. And he's back here, too. Well...sort of. See, for some reason, from between "Do or Die" to "Hard Hunted", Kane went from being an old Asian guy to a young Caucasian British guy. Don't ask me how that happened, I'm not an expert on the change of genetics and age. Now it's very well possible that they couldn't get back Pat Morita to reprise his role, but you mean to tell me that you couldn't get *anybody* else that resembled Pat Morita in anyway, shape, or form? Now, I probably shouldn't be too mad at this, because the guy playing Kane here goes by the name of Geoffrey Moore. Who also happens to be the son of legendary Bond actor Roger Moore. Yes, I honestly did not even know that Roger Moore's son was even into acting. I don't even know if he's even gotten roles after this. But despite that, Geoffrey does turn in a halfway decent job. Mind you, it's very uncanny to see him replace an obviously Asian actor playing the villain beforehand, but I still can't entirely blame his performance here. So, it's kind of a double-edge sword here when it comes to our villain in question.

As for the rest of the acting, well, like before with a lot of Andy Sidaris's films, the acting is something that you're either gonna get use to at this point or not. I say this, being that this is the seventh film in a series of movies that had actors that weren't really all that good to begin with. And I'm mostly referring to the Playboy Playmate models, such as Dona Speir, who's acting is still pretty terrible. If you're someone like myself who has seen all of the previous movies and knows that the acting isn't really that good, then you might already know what to expect. If this is your first film, then it's gonna throw you off a bit. Like I already said, I've gotten use to most of this terrible acting from our reprising cast members, as I've just sorta rolled with it at this point. Unless there are new cast members added to these movies, then I'm not gonna have a whole lot else to say about the acting. It's just what it is, really.

Same thing goes for special effects. There's really not a whole lot I can say about the special effects, other than what I've said about them in the previous couple of films. Squib work for guns, pyrotechnics, and what little blood effects are here. It's the same thing here with the same amount of low budget you're gonna have to expect from these particular movies.

Camerawork here is pretty good for low budget standards. The lighting here is lit fine. The sound-mix is mostly competent, save for a maybe brief moment when we're first reintroduced to Donna and Nicole. But like I said, it's very brief, so I don't have much else to say about it. Music here is not really that great, but that's mainly because I'm not a particular fan of the songs that were used here. Otherwise, the score here is pretty forgettable.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Hard Hunted"? If you are a fan of these particular movies and you haven't seen this one, then I would say maybe go for it. I'm more than tempted to say that you could skip it, personally speaking, since I think this is the first one that sorta let me down a bit. Now that isn't to say that you couldn't enjoy it yourself. Like I said, it has most of everything that is covered in the Andy Sidaris charm, however, like I also mentioned beforehand, it feels really tame when compared to the previous movies. So don't expect very much out of this one. But yeah, I can somewhat recommend it, if you want to see all of the "Triple B" movies from Andy Sidaris, but I would say this one is more skippable than anything else. So now, I think I'm gonna go and watch a James Bond movie. Specifically, one starring Roger Moore himself. I'm gonna go see if I can find my copy of "Moonraker" somewhere. I haven't watched that one in a long time, as it was one of the very first Bond films my Dad introduced me to. So I'm gonna go do that next once I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Critters 3

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm checking out the 3rd entry in the "Critters" series, which came out in 1991. That movie is "Critters 3".

Now, I do know a couple of things about this movie. Unlike the previous two entries, where they were both set in a local town, this movie takes place in a city. So, that gives our furry little creatures, hopefully, more room to work with. I also know that this movie, along with the 4th film, were both released as direct-to-video sequels. Which normally raises a red flag to some viewers. Mainly because, companies like Disney had a really bad habit of releasing direct-to-video sequels to their animated movies, and the quality on them ranged on being all over the place. So this movie could potentially meet that same fate as well. I'm hoping that it doesn't, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Now the other thing that I know about this movie is one of the cast members that stars in it. And I didn't even have to look it up because the combo pack that I have name drops the actor on, specifically, the third movie. This movie marks the film debut of Leonardo DiCaprio. Which is kinda cool, really. Now I will say upfront that I haven't really seen a whole lot of movies that feature this well known star. The only film I can recall that I have seen him in was when he played that one bad guy in "Django Unchained". So I'm really curious to see how he's gonna be able to handle himself the first time around.

Now I have no idea how this movie is gonna turn out. Like I said, there is a possibility that this movie could potentially suck mainly, in part, do to it being a direct-to-video sequel. But I'm also aware that a lot of movie sequels aren't able to obtain the quality their predecessors had. So really, this thing can sway either way for me. The only way I'm gonna know how good or bad this movie could possibly be is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Critters 3".

10 minutes later

OK, guys, I have a little bit of a complaint here that I want to address. Right now, we're being shown stock footage from the first two "Critters" movies. And I normally wouldn't have a problem with this, except, one, the clips that I'm seeing is just a random mishmash of the first two movies combined. I thought they would've gone for more of a traditional approach and show them in the proper order, but I guess not. And two, this, to me, just feels like filler. And looking at the runtime of this movie, I feel like this little clip show is just an excuse to pad it out needlessly. This just feels unnecessary.

18 minutes later

So, guys, I have some good news. Frank, the most annoying character in this movie, is more than likely dead. I say more than likely, because even though we got to see the Krites get a bite out of him, they don't show the killing blow. But hey, at least these little bastards still haven't lost their touch.

18 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm really liking the vibe that I'm getting from this movie. It feels like a genuine horror movie, and I'm really like that aspect so far. I'm hoping they'll be able to keep up that pace for the rest of the film.

15 minutes later

OK, I have a stupid question here. Instead of trying to reach the phone in this stupid manner, why doesn't Marcia just, I don't know, cut the rope off her foot so she can get to the phone booth much easier!? I think it would save you more energy that way instead of just swinging for it like a complete idiot. Just saying.

2 minutes later

Holy shit, guys, I just discovered one of these Krites actually has a name; Blackie. And also, it has a really annoying scream that can attract the other Krites attention. I believe this is the first time within three movies that I've discovered something new about them. That's really...kinda cool, actually.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Critters 3", and it ends with a "To Be Continued...". I'm curious to see where they're gonna go from there, but I'll just have to wait until I watch the 4th one. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and shut the movie off now...OK. So, where to start with this one? Well, I can say that, for the most part, this movie was pretty good. Now mind you, it still has some problems, as did the previous two films in this series, but I can still say that I actually wound up enjoying this one, despite it's flaws.

Why don't we start this off by first discussing the writing. Now, I have to make a correction on something before I go any further. I mentioned at the start of this thing that this movie, unlike Grover's Bend where it was set in a small local town, was gonna take place in a city, where our main titled creatures can have more room to do their eating habits. And well...I kinda lied about that. See, while this *does* take place in a city, it's more regulated to just an apartment complex. Which I know to some people will sound like a downgrade, and I can completely understand why. However, even with that said, I still think they were able to conjur a decent idea here where the movie is essentially a home invasion flick, and a rather interesting one at that, too. Yes, this was also sorta done in the first movie, but this one focused more on that concept than the first one did. And it actually feels like a horror movie, in which you have the lights all switched off and you have our tenants trying to fend off the Krites. It's really interesting stuff, though they do try to work more off the horror comedy bit as well. Which admittedly, isn't as funny as it was in the previous movies, but it's still decent here for the most part.

Now, one thing I have to mention here, and I briefly brought this up in my review of the second film, is where do you go with this series after the storybook ending feel of the second movie? Well, aside from this being a home invasion story, it focuses on a new set of characters that inhabit this apartment building. So you have characters like the elder couple, whom one of them who has recorded knowledge of what happened at Grover's Bend. You have Marcia, who's essentially a handy woman. And you also have Annie, and her family, both being her Dad and her little brother. And in terms of character depth, the only bit you get out of this comes from Annie and her father, who basically have disconnected with each other on a personal level. The same can be sorta said with Josh's Dad, who also happens to be the landlord that's trying to get everybody evicted from the apartment building. Why? I don't know. He's probably just a scummy landlord who wants their money or something. It's not fully explained, but it's not really that important anyways.

The only character I do want to make mention of is Charlie, who is the only character from the previous two movies that's still present here. Unfortunately though, he's only in the movie during the beginning and near the end of it, when he finally spurs into action to take on the Krites. And the only reason he was there was because, according to him, Annie's little brother, Johnny, called him. I don't know *how* exactly. Maybe it was because of the crystal he gave to him in the beginning of the movie, though that in itself wasn't fully clarified. The only thing he told Johnny is that when the crystal glows green, that means they have to watch out for themselves. But aside from that, I don't know if that's how he actually got a hold of Charlie or not. All I can tell you guys is that Charlie's presence is somewhat wasted here, and aside from fighting off the Krites, he's only here to tease about what might happen for the 4th movie. I won't spoil that for you guys here, but I will say that Charlie could've honestly been more involved here.

So yeah, guys, writing in this movie is certainly an odd one. I will say that it's not quite as good as the previous two movies were, but I can't totally discredit this movie either. It's still decent for what it is, and is still able to have some fun with itself. And speaking of which, the acting here is actually pretty good. The two actors I need make mention of are Leonardo DiCaprio and the guy who plays his landlord father. Now being that this is Leo's film debut here, how does he do here? Well, while he's kinda out of it for a good portion of the film, he does get involved again after his father "invites" him to go to the apartment complex to evict everyone. And I will say that he does a pretty good job with the material he's given as a child actor of the time. And as for his father, well, I don't know what it is, but the way he looks and acts in this movie, reminds me a *lot* of Vincent Price. And it's more so on the serious side of Vincent Price's acting because he has that tone in which he almost captures that mannerism in the way that Price acted. I almost want to call it an imitation, but it actually brings off that unique charm I get whenever I would watch any of Vincent Price's movies. So I'm gonna say that he was the best actor in the entire movie, for me anyway. Everyone else did a pretty good job with their given roles, too. I would say the actor playing Johnny was probably the weakest, mainly because he is a child actor. But I'm gonna give him a slight pass here, mainly because he doesn't have a whole lot of lines to work with. Which, to me, is a good thing.

Now for the special effects. For the third straight movie, the Chiodo Brothers are back doing the special effects, and they are damn near great. Not quite as polished as the previous two films were, but for a direct-to-video sequel, this is genuinely amazing stuff. The blood effects here are pretty good, and the puppeteering is also done really well, too. The only bit that I had an issue with, and it's not really a fault of the special effects, is the fact that there are so little kills in this movie. I only counted two in the entire movie, and the rest of the time, the Krites were just kinda messing around in one of the apartment rooms. It's similar to the scene in the first "Gremlins" movie where the Gremlins were just hanging around at the bar causing mischief while being goofy as well. Although this one is shorter in length and not quite as memorable as it was in "Gremlins". But I digress, at least this movie is still a huge reminder that it's still trying to cash in on the success of "Gremlins" as much as it can. But anyway, I'm getting off topic here. The special effects are still really good, at least in terms of the Chiodo Brothers standards.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is lit pretty well. There are some scenes where darkness is obviously present here, but they do a good enough job to where they balance itself out with what little light that they're trying to work with in terms of it being a home invasion flick. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here is honestly really forgettable. I couldn't remember a single piece of music from this movie that I would consider memorable in anyway, but I guess it's at least serviceable.

So anyway, when all is said and done, guys, am I able to recommend "Critters 3"? Honestly, yes, I can. Provided that you have seen the previous two movies and you enjoyed them. Or if you're somebody who's really curious on how Leonardo DiCaprio was able to handle himself in his film debut. As a sequel to the previous two films, I still don't think it's quite as good as those two films were, but I would still say it's worth checking out, if at least just once. Now whether this thing will transition into a good sequel for the 4th movie is something that I still don't know at this time. For now, though, I'm gonna go and do something else. Well, seeing as how I mentioned Vincent Price, I do have a couple of his movies on DVD. I think I'm gonna go and rewatch "Tales Of Terror". It's been a good while since I last reviewed it for this series, so I'm gonna go and do that next once I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Do or Die

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we continue the "Triple B" series by taking a look at the next entry that came out in 1991. That movie is "Do or Die".

Now, aside from this being the 6th entry in Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series, I don't really know much about it. The only things I know are a couple of cast members. One of them is, once again, Erik Estrada. I have no idea if he's either reprising the same role he had in the previous movie, or if he's playing a new character here. Though considering what happened to him in "Guns", my guess is that he's gonna play someone new here. At least, that's what I'm thinking of anyways.

The other cast member that I know of is Mr. Miyagi himself Pat Morita. Now, similar to Erik Estrada, I don't know what he's gonna do here in this movie, but I'm curious to see this for myself. So, I may as well just cut this short and get straight into it. I don't know if it's gonna be any good, but the only way I'm gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Do or Die".

6 minutes later

So the reason why our villain, Kane, is setting up this bounty hunter challenge to take down Donna and Nicole is mostly because of his sense of humor. Well...I will say that, as dumb as that sounds, at *least* it's something. So, I guess I can't fault him for his lack of explanation.

6 minutes later

Well, guys, I am willing to say that this movie certainly lives up to being an over-the-top action movie. Nicole just used her cane to insert a mini rocket of sorts and use it as missile launcher at the helicopter that was shooting at them and blew it the fuck up! I would question whether or not Nicole had that planned in advance, considering she has a sprained ankle and all, but I'm not going to this time because that was kinda awesome.

13 minutes later

You know, guys, I totally understand that this air show is suppose to be interesting and all, but honestly, I'm finding it to be really boring. I'm hoping maybe we can move past this soon so we can get this plot moving. Until then, this air show is starting to put me to sleep.

9 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song that's playing here kinda sucks. I don't know if it's because of the accordion player or the singer's voice...OK, they just kinda switched it up a bit. Now it's more of a square dance-esque number. And the accordion player has also changed it up a bit to where it sounds more upbeat. Honestly...it sounds halfway decent now. Mind you, it still isn't great, but I can at least say that it doesn't suck as much as it could've. So at least that's something.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, even though I saw it coming from a mile away, I still can't quite get over the fact that a cat just died from eating poisoned catfish. And that's partially because I really like cats, so that's kinda messed up.

12 minutes later

All right, guys, I've never had a chance to comment on any of the sex scenes before in any of Sidaris's films, but this is the first one I'm gonna have to do that on. So I'm not really someone who specializes in sexual kinks, but how often is it when a woman sprinkles salt onto a dude's chest and just licks it off in a sexual manner? Don't ask me why I would ask something like that, part of me just wants to know if it's common practice to do that sort of thing when you're about to bang each other.

8 minutes later

Well, guys, once again, I'm kinda impressed at the level of creativity with these kills. This one featured Erik Estrada throwing baseballs at one of our assassins, with the last he threw disguised as an explosive bomb. And the assassin was stupid enough to use his shotgun to hit it like a bat instead of, you know, shooting it before it explodes. But since I'm not one of these retarded assassins, I can't really question their methods, now can I?

8 minutes later

So Shane has a giant-ass magnum and he's shooting it at both of our assassins on skis. All of them are missing, mind you, and what's worse, our assassins, even the ones who have tried and failed to shoot Donna and Nicole, all missed their shots, too. Does nobody in this movie know how to shoot for shit!? Probably not, all things considered.

1 minute later

Oh finally, he actually shot something! Granted, it was just a duck, considering the sound it just made, but hey, at least he finally shot something. That's an improvement, I guess.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Do or Die". Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. Good god, where do I even start with this thing...? Well, I'm gonna let you guys know ahead of time that what I'm about say in this review will sound incredibly negative to a lot of you. And it's especially apparent, if you have never seen an Andy Sidaris film before. I'll get into all that in a second, but I'm gonna say, guys, for every criticism I'm about to level against this movie, I actually wound up really enjoying it. Seriously, guys, I know it sounds like I'm being a hypocrite by talking about all the things that go against this movie, but in a weird way, it still winds up being a really enjoyable flick. At least to me it does.

Now before I get into the writing itself, I'm gonna start with the biggest problem this movie has, which is the pacing. This movie's pacing is so uneven that it would normally hurt a movie. See, this movie has so many scenes of people having sex that I sometimes wondered if Sidaris didn't have anything for writing material, so he just gave the actors a lot of improvisation on what he wanted the actors to do for certain scenes. I don't know if that was the case for this movie or not, but then again, I also have to remember that Sidaris has been making these sorts of movies for a long time now, so I probably shouldn't be too surprised that they're in here. But still, there are lot of them in this movie, and because of that, it could also be seen as a complete pace-breaker for people who just want to get the plot going.

As for the writing itself, well, there's really almost no plot here at all. The most you get out of it is that our main villain, Kane, who is played by Pat Morita, is an evil businessman who sends 6 teams of assassins to take down Donna and Nicole. Our two leading ladies are on the run while also getting help from other people at the same time, all the while outwitting the assassins with almost no problems at all. And I'm not kidding when I say that because, a bit of a spoiler for those of you who seriously care about the plot, none of our heroes get killed. All of the assassins in this movie fail miserably. Even when Donna hands over her watch, which was secretly tampered with a tracking device to one of our heroes, they still end up killing the assassins because they're so terrible at their jobs.

I should also mention that out of all of Andy Sidaris's films I've seen up till this point, this movie literally has no kind of character development whatsoever. Nobody in this movie has any actual depth to their characters. Which is a stark contrast, when compared to the previous film in this series, which was "Guns", where that movie tried to go for more of a story-driven plot. This movie has almost nothing like that. And speaking of characters, I want to mention Kane for a moment. Because near the end of the movie, they throw in a plot twist that comes right out of nowhere where they're gonna keep track of all his movements thanks to a woman named Silk. Now in case you don't know, she's the woman who's been with Kane throughout the entire movie. And up until the twist is revealed, there was no indication at all about her being a double agent for our heroes. Like I said, it comes right of nowhere and doesn't really make any sense.

So yeah, we have a plot that is incredibly thin and characters who have no personality or depth here. And normally, I would write this whole thing off as just being a shitty, plotless action movie. And yet, despite it being a plotless action movie...it still actually works pretty well here. And the reason why I say it works is because, if you compared this to a couple of the previous films in this series like "Guns" "Savage Beach" and "Picasso Trigger", where those movies tried to go for more of a serious story driven plot that it sorta backfired on itself. More so with "Picasso Trigger" because that movie tried to go for a story that failed miserably, mainly because it tried to dump you with all this exposition in one scene that you're not gonna remember *any* of it by the time it ended. "Guns" and "Savage Beach" worked a little bit better because of it's cohesiveness, however, "Savage Beach" was still a little bit dull, and "Guns" tried to work in continuity with it's previous films despite it being unnecessary.

But in the case of "Do or Die", it goes back to an early point in this series where it knew what it wanted to be: a dumb action flick with big-boobed girls, over-the-top action scenes, and explosions that would make Michael Bay get a hard on. All of that is here in it's Andy Sidaris charm, and it oozes with cheesiness. Which, for of you who may or may not know, I enjoy that immensely as long as it doesn't try too hard to aim for so it's bad, it's good. This movie nails that almost perfectly and it's why I wound up really enjoying it so much.

So, with all that said about the writing, the acting in this movie is just about what you would expect from an Andy Sidaris film. Most of the acting in this movie is just terrible as it was in the previous films, mainly from the recurring cast anyway. The only ones I can give a pass to are Erik Estrada and Pat Morita. Morita, in particular, is easily the best actor in the entire movie. Even though his character is completely flat and one dimensional, he actually takes what little he has here and just nails it perfectly. He even has scenes where he sorta ends up making out with the girl that I mentioned earlier, and also massages her and ends up getting one as well from her. And watching those scenes for the first time, I'm probably never gonna be watching the "Karate Kid" movies the same way ever again. But then again, I've only seen the first 3 movies and only 2 of them were actually any good. But I digress, Pat Morita is the best actor in the movie by far, with Erika Estrada coming in at a close second. Everyone else, well, I kinda already summed up their performances in a nutshell for you.

Special effects are, once more, everything you would come to expect from an Andy Sidaris movie. Pyrotechnics, squib work on guns, what little blood effects are in this movie, all of it is present here. And it really hasn't changed in the slightest. *Maybe* there might've been more explosions here than in "Guns", but I don't really know for sure. I would have to rewatch it at some point to make sure for myself. But anyway, special effects are incredibly standard here.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is lit perfectly fine. Sound-mix is mixed pretty well. The music, honestly, I don't have a whole lot to say about, other than the country song that I briefly mentioned earlier. It's OK, but it's nothing to write home about. So yeah, the score here is just OK.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Do or Die"? If you can look past all of the flaws this thing has and you just view it as a mindless action movie, then you are going to adore this thing. This movie has everything that you would come to expect from an Andy Sidaris flick. Big boobed ladys, over-the-top action scenes, all of that is there and it hasn't changed. If you're looking a serious, plot-based action movie, then this is not the film for you. This movie is almost devoid of plot and character depth that it makes the previous films that *did* have something like that almost make it look bad. At least, if you look at it from a certain viewpoint. But overall, this movie is pretty much an Andy Sidaris film that knows what it wanted to be and I really enjoyed this thing despite it's obvious flaws. So yeah, I'm still looking forward to seeing what else this film series has in store. But for now, I'm gonna go and watch another movie that is considered so bad, it's good. And one film that comes to mind is "Super Mario Bros.", specifically the 1993 version. I'm gonna go and watch that next because I absolutely love that movie.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.