Reaction & Review | Mr. Nanny

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out a family film from 1993. That movie is "Mr. Nanny".

Now when I decided to do this little tradition where I cover a movie starring Hulk Hogan every year in the month of July, I knew there was one movie of his that I was kinda dreading on watching. This is *that* movie. Yeah, I'm not gonna beat around the bush guys when I say that I am dreading watching this movie.

Now some of you who may have never heard of this thing might be asking why? Well, it's not because he's dressed up in a tutu for whatever baffling reason. I'm sure there is some story-driven reason as to why he's wearing a tutu, as unlikely as that may seem. No, the thing I'm dreading most about this movie is it's plot. The plot to this thing is about a former pro wrestler who's been assigned as a bodyguard to look after these two kids. Why? I don't know. I'm sure, again, there's some legitimate reason as to why he's looking after a couple of kids. And apparently, "hilarity" ensues between him and the kids.

Yeah, as you might've surmised, this plot sounds fucking stupid, and honest to god terrible. And the thing that makes this thing already looking worse is that there was another movie that attempted this sort of plot. That movie was called "The Pacifier". You know, the 2005 movie where Vin Diesel, who plays a secret agent in that thing, was assigned to look after a family and a bunch of annoying bratty kids, and again, "hilarity" supposedly ensues between him and this family. And just to let you guys know, "The Pacifier" really sucked. So you'll forgive me if I'm going into this one with very low expectations.

Now who knows? Maybe, in some deep dark part of the Shadow Realm, this movie might actually end up being watchable. Not good, mind you, just watchable. And I also know this movie was put out by New Line Cinema. The same studio that also put out "Suburban Commando". And I enjoyed "Suburban Commando" for all of it's cheesiness. So there is a very slim chance that this movie could also have the same charm that "Suburban Commando" had. And now that I've typed that, I have a strong feeling that that statement is going to bite me in the ass hard. But hey, who knows? I really won't know for sure how this movie is gonna sway for me unless I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Mr. Nanny".

1 minute later

So, guys, this movie's starting off with Hulk Hogan being beaten down by wrestlers from the WWF days. Let's see, I recognize Kamala, George "The Animal" Steele, Jim Neidhart...not sure who the wrestler is in the zebra gear. I'm not really familiar with him. Anyway, what I find sorta funny about all this is that that they're beating up Hogan and I can't help but feel some, if not all of them, had some sort of heat with Hogan for real for basically playing backstage politics. At least that's the theory I'm going with, anyways. But regardless, it is pretty cool that we get to see them as cameos in this movie, so that's always awesome.

7 minutes later

OK, what the hell just blew up in Mr. Mason's desk? Seriously, what the hell was that?! If it was like a fake bomb or something, then there is no reason for that to be in his desk! Just, what the hell, man?!

19 minutes later

So, guys, I'm gonna ask this, even though it is still kinda early in the movie. This thing is suppose to be a comedy, right? So when the hell does it start to get funny? Seriously, I want to know this. We're almost a half an hour into the movie and I haven't even laughed once yet. That's kind of a bad sign when your comedy fails to make you laugh. I'm hoping maybe it'll get funny sooner rather than later, but somehow, I kinda doubt it.

17 minutes later

You know what's worse, guys? It's one thing for a comedy to not make you laugh. It's a whole another thing when it starts to get boring. I mean it, guys, this thing is becoming boring as shit. I'm struggling to stay the fuck awake because this film is beginning to put me to sleep. That's how bad this movie is becoming, and I fear it's only going to get even worse from here.

2 minutes later

OK, you know what? I didn't think it was gonna be possible, but this movie actually got me to laugh. In which the little girl tries to get Sean Armstrong to sing, only to tell her that she has a terrible singing voice. At least that's *one* decent joke that they've told so far. So I gotta give this movie that much.

8 minutes later

Guys, I've just found a continuity error. A moment ago, Burt said that he took a bullet for Sean Armstrong back in the day, which grazed his knee and also caused an artery to pop, which also caused blood to fly into the air. Well, guess what? We're getting a flashback to that incident, and I didn't see *any* blood going into the air. And yes, I know it's a very stupid continuity error that I'm bringing up, and it's also possible that Burt was just over-exaggerating it anyways, but it's still something that I wanted to bring up because I'm kind of a sad bastard who likes to over-analyze those nitpicky details sometimes.

8 minutes later

So, guys, do you remember when I brought up Hulk Hogan being dressed up in a tutu? Well, now I know the whole thing in context and...yeah, it's about as stupid and predictable as you can imagine it to be. This is kinda painful to watch.

12 minutes later

OK, that's something new. I've never seen anyone use an AK-47 to shoot their bindings off from their wrists with their toes. That's definitely unique, I gotta say.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Mr. Nanny". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Dear sweet Jesus, where do I begin with this thing? Well, I may as well answer a couple of questions right off the bat here. Is this movie bad? Oh definitely, yes. This movie sucks. Is this as stupid as I imagined it would be? Oh yeah, it totally is. Is this the worst movie I've seen all year? Oh hell no, not even remotely close. I've seen far, *far* worse for this series. The final question I'm gonna answer: Is this Hulk Hogan's worst movie? Honestly...it's kind of a tough call. I'd almost say yes...however, I can't quite say that. So far, in my opinion, the worst film I've seen starring him was "Shadow Warriors 2: Assault On Death Mountain". Mainly because that movie was so boring and plotless that I couldn't produce any kind of real reactions towards that movie. At least this one got me more material to work with, all things considered. But that still doesn't stop it from being a really bad movie.

So, with that overly long introduction out of the way, let's finally get into this thing. I'm gonna start with writing. And really, guys, there's almost no plot here to speak of. The only bits of story we get out of it is that Hulk Hogan's character, Sean Armstrong, is a former pro wrestler who's being hired as a bodyguard by Mr. Mason to watch over his two kids, while Mason tries to protect this microchip, which has all the data for something called the Peacefinder Project. Which is essentially just an anti-missile that can bring down any other missiles from blowing other countries up. And our villain, Thanatos, wants the microchip for himself simply because he's evil. I would be exaggerating that, but his first line of dialogue in the movie was basically him admitting that he's an evil psychopathic genius, or something like that. But yeah, Mr. Mason tries to keep it out of his hands while Sean Armstrong is busy being assaulted by the kids with their fucking "Home Alone" traps to get rid of him.

And right off the bat, I have to talk about the movie's attempt at humor. It's obvious that the filmmakers of this movie were inspired by "Home Alone", so the main gimmick in this movie is it's physical humor. However, unlike "Home Alone", where the traps there were kinda sorta creative and not completely over-the-top, this movie tries a little too hard into making all these wacky antics as funny as possible. For example, you have Armstrong being electrocuted, or whenever he's using the exercise bike, the kids try to manipulate by using some kind of gadget where they make it go really fast, or when they use the weights to try and smother Armstrong with it. The movie tries all of these antics, and none of it is funny. I didn't laugh at a single thing these kids did to Sean Armstrong. In fact, it kinda reinforces my own personal bias, because I don't like kids, and this movie obviously didn't change that at all. The only laugh I got out of it was, again, when Armstrong tells Kate that her singing voice is terrible. And that was only because it kinda came out of nowhere. So that's part of the reason why I got a laugh out of it.

But aside from that, guys, the humor here is mostly a misfire. And while I'm on the subject, let's talk about the two troublemaker kids next. Because, as I was watching the movie, I had to wonder *why* they even hate nannies to begin with? My theory is that because their Mom died early on, and they just get rid of nannies because none of them would be able to replace her. However, I also have to remember that there's a cook there, too, and she's stuck it out, despite all their antics. So, I don't know if it's just a pick and choose thing, or if it's just because they do it because they're bratty little kids. I don't know. I would also add their father, Mr. Mason, who's also away on business all the time and he *never* disciplines these kids once. And what's funny about this is that when Armstrong confronts him about this, Mason whines that it's difficult to raise two kids alone. And while Armstrong sympathizes about the Mom's death, he says to him that if he can't give what his kids want, then he should get rid of them. And honestly, I wholeheartedly agree with that. Not just because of my own bias against kids, but more so on getting rid of them to live with any of their relatives. Especially if the jobs too hard for him. Now it's possible that they may not have any relatives to look after them, but the idea is certainly still there.

So yeah, the writing in this movie is pretty terrible, especially if you try to put in that kind of logic into a family film. However, since I just mentioned that, it's obvious that this movie isn't really trying to aim to be psychological anyways. So that point is sorta moot, but that still doesn't excuse the rest of the writing here to really suck. Now I will say that, despite the questionably bad writing, the acting here is surprisingly halfway decent. And I'm even going to include the two child actors for this movie. They did a pretty decent job for the material that they were given. The weakest actor would, unsurprisingly, have to be Hulk Hogan. However, I will say that, when compared to "Shadow Warriors 2" and "Goldie and the Bears", this is a step above those movies. Just not by much, mind you. The hammiest actor, by far, would have to go to our villain of the movie, Thanatos, who is played by David Johansen. This guy hams up his performance in this movie so much that it kinda makes him stand out as the best actor in the movie, at least, again, in terms of his hammy acting. And while it's never gonna be on the levels of William Shatner, when he does hammy acting, it's still really hilarious on it's own standards. So, I have to give David Johansen a lot of props for trying to make his obviously evil character work.

Special effects in this movie are kinda on the same par with "Suburban Commando". Which makes sense, considering that both movies were put out by the same studio. Most of the CG in this movie comes from the electricity, and it's pretty standard stuff there. The make-up effects for Hogan during the pool scene was the only one that stood out at me the most, and it was decent, I suppose. I would mention costuming as well, however, that would then lead me into mentioning Hogan wearing a tutu and, well...the less said about that, the better. So yeah, special effects, overall, are kinda average at best.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is lit perfectly fine. The sound-mix here is mixed pretty good. Music here is OK, although I will admit that I don't recognize any of the songs in this movie. Part of me wants to assume that they're original songs made for the movie, however, I don't really know if that's the case or not. And to be honest, I don't really care either way. It's mostly just forgettable, at least for me it is.

Ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Mr. Nanny"? Personally speaking, no. And that's mainly because of my disdain for children. However, if you're somebody who's really curious about this sort of thing, and if you, for whatever reason, want to show this to kids, you might find something more our of it than I did. Just don't expect very much here. As I said, the movie's boring as shit and the comedy here doesn't land at all, save for one joke that I personally found funny. I mean, if you really want to see a better film from Hulk Hogan, go watch "Suburban Commando". It's not exactly a good film either, but at least it's a little more creative and funny than this thing is. In fact, I kinda want to watch "Suburban Commando" right now. seeing as how I'm mentioning it here. So you know what? I'm gonna go watch that next as soon as I get done with this review. And I'll certainly be more entertained by it than this boring thing by a mile.

So anyway, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Left for Dead

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Western horror film from 2007. That movie is "Left for Dead".

Now, I don't really know a whole lot about this movie, other than that it's a western horror movie. Which, interestingly enough, I don't think I've ever seen a Western horror movie before ever. I've seen Westerns that delve into heavy drama at times, but never have I seen this genre go into horror before. So, this ought to be interesting to see here.

Now the only other thing that I know about this movie is it's director, who goes by the name of Albert Pyun. And I've covered two of his films for this series. The first one was "Arcade", which I covered way back in the lead up to my 100th episode at the time. And I quite enjoyed it, despite it's flaws. And the other film that I reviewed from him is something that I didn't even know he directed until I looked up his entire filmography in preparation for this review. That movie was the "Captain America" film from 1990. Which surprised me honestly because, again, I didn't even know that he directed that thing to begin with. And much like with "Arcade", I did kinda enjoy it, despite it's flaws.

So, the man knows, well *knew* how to make interesting movies before sadly passing away in 2022. But setting his passing aside, I'm hoping for this movie to continue the legacy he had in making interesting movies. I don't know if it's gonna be any good, but I'm hoping to find out for myself. So, without further ado, it is time to kick back, relax, and check out "Left for Dead".

15 minutes later

OK, I have to ask this. Why is this alleged rapist the only one who has subtitles, despite the fact that he speaks perfect English? I really don't understand that, especially considering these guys that are chasing after him also speak perfectly fine English too. So why bother with subtitles at all? It just doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to me.

19 minutes later

Wait, why do these women have Clementine bound in chains? I thought she was with them to search for Sentenza. So, why is it then do they have her in chains? I'm gonna be honest, guys, this movie's beginning to not make sense. Mind you, I'm still interested to see where this movie's going, I just want it to make some sense is all.

15 minutes later

Guys, I really wish this movie would make up it's mind on whether or not Blake should speak English or Spanish. I swear to God, guys, this movie is just flip-flopping back and forth between Blake speaking English and then speaking Spanish along with English subtitles. Pick a language for him and stick with it! Because this is starting to get old, really quick.

16 minutes later

You know what's really sad, guys? Barring the shoddy-looking CG, almost everything else apart from the story is actually pretty good for what it is. Mind you, it isn't great, but I can see that there is effort put into it. I just wish the writing was more interesting, but sadly, it really hasn't improved at all. In fact, I'm actually getting a little bit bored with this movie. And that itself is also really fucking sad when you think about it.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Left for Dead". I'm gonna go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Wow, um...where the hell do I even begin with this...? Well, I suppose I can start by saying that I really wanted to like this movie. I really did. I mean, it's a Western film, and most of those do turn out to be pretty good. At least, to me, they do, because it's a genre that I grew up on thanks to my Dad. And I was hoping that this movie, knowing that it was also a horror film, I wanted to really like it. And, in the end, I just wound up being really disappointed by it.

So, I'm gonna start this off by talking about one of the biggest problems, if not *the* biggest problem with this movie as a whole: the writing. I am gonna say that this movie started off really promising with it's plot. Where 15 years ago, this priest, who's later named Mobius, ends up getting a woman pregnant, which in turn makes these group of whores end up killing everyone in town. And I mean every man, woman, and child. Which they then kill the woman that the priest hooked up with and also caused her to get an abortion in a rather sick, and disgusting way. It's where they also kill the priest, who ends up becoming a vengeful spirit after dying, and then gets his revenge against the whores who killed his spouse and unborn baby. Basically, guys, he's a cowboy version of Ghost Rider.

And on the flipside of all this, we have our main character, Clementine, who's out for vengeance against someone named Sentenza, who left her along with their infant child all by themselves. And she's not alone on this journey, because there's also another group prostitutes who are after Sentenza, when one of them got raped and impregnated by Sentenza. What's strange about this though is that the impregnated prostitute claims that it wasn't rape since, apparently, she told him to do whatever he wanted to do to her. I don't know why, but honestly, I'm not going to question that kind of logic. Believe me, that is the least of this movie's writing problems.

Before I go more into what I disliked about the writing, I am gonna say this much. The beginning of the movie and it's ending, is actually the most interesting parts about the movie. As I already mentioned a moment ago, Mobius, ends up becoming a vengeful spirit by killing all the whores who were involved in the killing of his spouse and unborn child. Now admittedly, what sorta ruins it a bit is the fact that most of it was done in text, meaning that they mostly tell you what happens, while we get a few very short clips of how it all went down. It sorta cheapens the experience a little bit, but honestly, I'm able to overlook it, because the opening still caught my interest. And as for the ending, without trying to spoil it, ends in a rather dark fashion. Granted, I know that the movie is a horror film, but towards the end of it, it is a really dark scene. That, to me, was totally worth it to sit through the whole movie for.

And on that note, that brings me into the biggest problem with the writing as a whole. The middle portion of the movie is where the whole thing falls apart. One big reason is simply because it's boring as shit. I was trying to stay the fuck awake for most of it because the story was just going nowhere. Not only that, but it started to become convoluted the moment that I saw Clementine in chains. Which, again, makes no sense because she was with these prostitutes to hunt down Sentenza. And when I saw her in chains, I honestly had no idea why she was like that. The only thing I can think of is that they found out that Blake, her former husband, was the one who ran off and they believe that he impregnated one of their girls, Michelle, and that they're slowly torturing him to death by impaling the side of his body with a meat hook, just so they can get him to admit that he raped her. Which still doesn't really make any sense because I don't recall him ever being this Sentenza guy. I mean, it's possible that he might've been, but because this made no sense to me, I just kinda rolled with it since nothing else about it made no sense whatsoever.

As for the characters, well, I would *love* to tell you that the characters in this movie are deep and are worth caring for, but honestly, I can't. The only two exceptions to this are Clementine, and that's mainly because of her actress that made her character stand out a little bit more. Her actual character is a little bit one-notish, but it is understandable storywise. And the other character that is worth mentioning is Mobius, who I've already mentioned his backstory a couple of times already. In fact, thinking about it now, if this story had been focused more on Mobius getting his revenge on the prostitutes that killed his girl, I would've enjoyed it a lot more. Because then, the movie could've turned into a Western horror revenge flick. That would've been much better than the story we got here. Again, the premise that is here sounds really cool, and the beginning and ending of it is totally worth watching. But it's the middle that ruins it entirely because it's bullshit nonsense, plus the padding too, since this movie does crawl to a screeching halt the moment the middle portion rears it's ugly head.

So yeah, guys, the writing here is just a massive disappointment. What could've been sounded better than what we already had. Now, despite all that, the acting here is really solid. The best actress by default has to go to Victoria Maurette as Clementine Templeton. She is great here. Her character is, again, a little bit on the shallow side, but her acting is what makes her performance stand out tremendously. She is great here. The rest of the cast is pretty good too. They're not as standout as Victoria Maurette was, but they still do a good job with their given roles.

Special effects in this movie are mostly terrible. Now yes, I totally understand that this is a very low budget movie, but I still have to call it out. The CG in this movie is horrendous. Most of it used for stuff like gunshots, especially against Mobius. Because whenever you see any part of his body shot out, it looks as if it was almost chroma-keyed. However, I can't quite use that excuse here, because this movie was shot on location in Argentina. So, they had to use some original CG for it, but it still looks terrible. Also, for no real reason at all, there's a CG rendered skull that's used in the final shot of the movie and it also looks horrible, too. The only thing that looks sorta decent are the blood and gore effects, because they're done practically. They actually look pretty cool. Especially that one scene I mentioned earlier in regards to Mobius's backstory. I won't mention it in graphic detail, but the effects for it still look really good for the intention of it's scene. So overall, the CG is terrible, but the practical effects are pretty good.

I want to touch upon editing for a moment. Because there's something about this movie that really kinda irked me a bit. And that is the over usage of freeze frames. In case you don't know, freeze frames are used whenever a movie freezes on a still frame. There are so many of them in this movie that you could literally turn it into a drinking game. If you ever get a chance to watch this movie, take a shot every single time that a freeze frame is used in this movie. I guarantee you that by the time this movie ends, you will be totally wasted. It really is that obnoxious. Now, I probably wouldn't have been bothered by this if they did this maybe once or twice, but when you go over that count, it starts to show a problem in which it's all style, no substance. And also, it ties in back to the padding issue I mentioned a moment ago. Since there are so many freeze frame shots, it brings the movie down some to a screeching halt, and they really could've cut back on these particular shots. So yeah, the editing in this movie is pretty shit.

Camerawork here, minus the shitty editing, is pretty good. The lighting here lit perfectly fine. But then again, most of this movie was filmed outdoors, and on location, so it's to be expected. Sound-mix here is mostly decent, but there were a couple of scenes where some of the sound quality, whenever an actor is speaking their dialogue, sounded a bit quiet. Those could've been fined-tuned a bit. The music here is actually pretty good. It totally fits the atmosphere and mood of this movie, and for a Western, it works very well here. So, I'm gonna give the music here a definite positive.

But unfortunately, the negatives outweigh the positives here. So with that, can I recommend "Left for Dead"? Unfortunately no, I can't. This movie is just a massive disappointment. And that's coming from someone who grew up on Westerns. This movie could've been amazing, but with a script this convoluted and terrible, there's no way I can recommend this thing to you guys. Had the middle portion of the movie been written better, or they would've gone with my suggestion, it could've potentially been great. But as is, it's just not a very good movie. Now, it's not the worst thing I've seen, especially for this year, but it's still very lackluster. So sadly, I cannot recommend it to anybody, unless if you have a morbid curiosity like I did. So yeah...this movie...god, this thing could've been great. But you know what? I still have a lot of other Western movies to satisfy me. Perhaps I'll maybe go and watch something like "McLintock!", cause I love that movie to pieces. So I'm probably gonna go do that next once I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Uncle Sam

Happy late Independence Day, guys, and welcome to an all new Reaction & Review. Yeah, I know the 4th of July has kinda passed already, but I still want to celebrate the anniversary of our great nation by covering something that's rather festive for this time of year. And I found the perfect movie for that celebration. It is a horror comedy from 1996. That movie is "Uncle Sam".

Now the premise to this movie is pretty simple. Some guy who's dressed up like Uncle Sam, goes on a killing spree against anyone that's unpatriotic. At least, that's what I'm going to assume from the little information that I looked up in preparation for this movie. Anything beyond that, I don't know of, content wise. I know of only one person that stars in this movie, and that person is Isaac Hayes. What role he plays exactly is, again, something I don't know of at this time.

But that's what I'm here to find out. I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all. I'm also hoping for it to be really funny, too. But the only way I'm gonna find all that out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Uncle Sam".

3 minutes later

OK, I have to ask this. Now, I've heard of sniper rifle bullets going through more than one body at a time, but are handguns able to do that as well? Because Sam Harper grabbed one of the soldier's live body, and shot him through the stomach multiple times, and they're *also* able to go through the colonel's body from quite a distance to where he was standing. I admit, I don't own a handgun myself, but I'm really curious to see if it's possible that anyone could actually pull that off. I'm quite curious about that.

8 minutes later

All right, I know this is a minor point and all, but I find it really sorta douchey to let a loved one know that right after someone they were close to has died in the war, he immediately says that she'll get over this in due time. I understand that this high-ranking solder or colonel or whatever was trying to console her in his own way, but it still comes across as rather douchey and mean-spirited to me, you know what I mean?

7 minutes later

Hold up, something just came to me. So, Jody's attending school...in July? I know this, because the opening scene after the prologue is suppose to take place on the night of July 1st. And I'm going to assume this is the next day, meaning that it's now July 2nd. So, does that mean then that Jody is attending Summer School or something? I'm really curious about this, guys, because I really can't think of any other explanation that would make any sense about this.

8 minutes later

OK, I need to ask this, because this is starting to bother me slightly. Now, I admit, I don't exactly know what Jody's age is suppose to be in this movie. I'm just going to assume he's either suppose to be 9 or 10 years old here. And if that's the case, why is it that he's talking like he's 20 years old? I mean, I get that he's mourning over the death of his uncle, but it's a little bit jarring to see him talking as an adult rather than a kid his age. Just thought I'd mention that.

19 minutes later

OK, so far, out of the two kills I've seen Sam Harper commit, this one is the more methodical approach, where he simply just buries a guy alive, in Harper's own grave nonethless, after breaking one of his bones. I will say that it is definitely effective, even if it's a little bit on the slower side, in my eyes.

2 minutes later

All right, now that kill was definitely a little bit more creative. In which, Sam just hangs this guy on a flagpole until he dies. Again, it's a little bit more methodical, but it is still a little bit creative, I will say that much.

12 minutes later

Well, guys, so far, I've found the best kill in the entire movie. This fucking douchebag teenager gets killed by decapitation from a cleaver. That was pretty awesome. And well worth it, too.

10 minutes later

Well...just when I thought I found the best kill in the entire movie, the next one just topped itself. And we also got an extra kill, too, on top of that. I'm really starting to get more impressed with these kills, guys, they're really starting to win me over.

The Review

All right...well, guys, that was "Uncle Sam". And I'm gonna go ahead and shut this movie off here...OK. Wow, um...where to even start with this thing? I'm gonna be honest, guys, this one is gonna be a bit tough for me to review. Because, on one hand, this film does have a lot of positives. But on the other hand, there's just....something about it that doesn't exactly fit here. I'll get more into this in a second, but I am gonna let you guys know now that the movie is honestly just OK. I can't really say that it's a bad movie, or even a great one, it's just more so in the middle of it being a bit average. Which is honestly more disappointing for me, personally, because I love horror comedies, and this one, unfortunately sorta falters a bit in that area.

So, why don't we start off with something I normally start with in a lot of my reviews, which is the writing. And I have to start off with one of the big problems that this movie suffers from, which is it's pacing. Because for the 40 minutes or so, the pacing here is incredibly slow. It takes a long time for our titled character to finally make his appearance and start his killing spree. And the film itself is only 90 minutes long, but it still feels like it took forever just to get to that point. And, just to compare it with another horror movie that has a similar premise, "Jack Frost", the 1997 horror comedy, had the exact same runtime that this movie does. But the reason why it works better there is because, one, it was much better paced, and you actually got to see Jack Frost, the killer, really early on when he starts his killing. This movie, though, takes up a little too much time in getting to the meat of it's premise.

And while I'm on that subject, I want to talk about the next big problem that this movie has. Now, as I've mentioned before, I love horror comedies, especially ones that make me laugh. Now, of course, I totally understand that humor is subjective, and the humor for that genre may not appeal to everyone. But for me, personally, I love it, and when a horror comedy *does* make me laugh, then mission accomplished: You have succeeded in being really funny to me. And that's where this movie falters greatly with it's comedy. Most of is it isn't really that funny, aside from a moment where the douchebag teenager gets his head chopped off from a cleaver by Sam Harper. And it was funny there because, well, I really didn't like that fucking teenager, so it was completely satisfying the moment he got his head chopped off. But aside from that, there really wasn't a whole lot of funny moments here.

In fact, I believe I know why this thing falters on being a horror comedy. You see, this movie suffers from an identity crisis. I truly believe that this film was never meant to be a horror comedy to begin with. With the way the movie plays itself out, it felt like it wanted to take itself more seriously. You, the viewer, were suppose to take it's story, and setting, seriously. However, the problem with that is that it just doesn't work here. The story is really kinda boring, with it's characters being underdeveloped. Part of that has to do with it's really slow pacing, but the buildup to it also isn't really all that interesting anyways. Now if this thing leaned more on being self aware of it's plot, in which there is an undead soldier who comes back to life and is killing people masquerading as Uncle Sam, I think this would've been a whole lot funnier. But again, this movie doesn't really feel like much of a horror comedy, if at all.

And, again, I wanted to compare this thing with the 1997 "Jack Frost" movie. The main reason why it worked better there, aside from what I already said about it's pacing and the killer appearing early on, is that it was self aware of it's own premise. I mean, there was no way in hell the filmmakers there were gonna have you take that story seriously, what with it being about a killer snowman and all. And they knew it, too, because of how ridiculous the idea was, so they did their best to try and have fun with it. And it worked, too, for all the reasons I just listed. But this film, on the other hand, doesn't really do that very much. While there is some campiness to be found here, it doesn't really go all the way with it. It mostly tries to be a somewhat more serious story, and it fails at that, because it doesn't try to be more self aware of it's own plot. Which is what hurts this movie the most for me, because this kind of movie *should* be more hilarious. And on paper, it could've been great, but sadly, in terms of execution, it doesn't really work here.

Now, with all of the criticisms I've thrown at this movie already, you might think that I'm going to say that the movie's writing is completely terrible and that the movie really does suck. And while I've done that for a few movies that I've said about beforehand, I'm not going to do that for this one. Why? Well, like I said, I think there are quite a few positives to this thing. For one thing, most of the acting here is decent. It's not great, mind you, but it's definitely not as bad as it could've been. The best actor, by far, would have to be Isaac Hayes as Jed. The man is great at what he does, and this movie is no different. The actor, though, who I'm going levy against the most here is the child actor playing Jody. His acting in this movie is damn near wooden. He puts no effort into sounding emotional about anything, and it's kind of a double-edged sword here. Because on one hand, it sorta makes sense on his character's part to sound like that, because he really admired his uncle and wanted to be a soldier like him one day, but on the other hand, the actor playing him just doesn't know how to emote properly. But then again, this is also what happens when you put a child actor on camera and you make him the star of the movie. And I would've been fine with this if, again, his acting wasn't so wooden that it hurts, but it did. And it just comes across as completely terrible. But aside from him, most of the acting is decent for what it is. Again, it's not great, but it could've been a hell of a lot worse too.

Special effects in this movie are definitely the best thing about it. Most of that is gonna be contributed to the make-up effects and costuming that are used for Sam Harper. It looks great on him, with the yellowish eyes to the green, almost husk-looking skin that I want to say almost looks like Freddy Krueger's own skin, though whether that was intentional or not is something I can't say. Still though, it does look really good. The blood and gore effects are also really good, too, as is the kills that lead up to them...at least, when you get to see it. However, I'll get to that in a moment when I touch upon camerawork. But aside from that, guys, the special effects here are really good. And the set pieces look really good, too. This almost feels like you're actually at a 4th of July festival of sorts and it looks great. So I gotta give them a lot props there when it comes to that.

Camerawork here is mostly really good, except for a couple of certain moments. What moments are those, you might be wondering? Well, this movie, unfortunately, has a bit of a bad habit of cutting away from certain kills before they can be executed. In short, some kills are done off camera. And there are two moments in particular I remember this happening. The first one involves the very first kill of the movie, where Sam has a pair of shears. And before the shears are able to cut into his first victim...the camera cuts to black before moving onto the next scene. The other moment that this happens is when Jody's teacher gets killed with an ax. And this one bothers me the most because, on the morning of the festival, the movie was making a big deal out of this ax because, apparently, one of the kids dressed up as George Washington was suppose to be carrying it throughout the parade. I don't know what an ax has to do with George Washington, but whatever, point is, the movie was teasing about this ax, and I was hoping to see what the movie could do with an ax kill. Well, sadly, they cut this one too, as you mainly get to see the teacher falling down with an ax to the head. It's really disappointing to see this because why make a huge deal about it if you're not going to show the damn kill?! It makes no sense at all, and it makes the movie feel a little bit more cheaper than what it was already running on.

Now...aside from those moments, the camerawork here functions normally. The lighting here is lit perfectly fine. The sound-mixing is mixed well. The score here is mostly just forgettable, too. So unfortunately, I can't really say anything positive about this film's score. It's just really forgettable.

So...with all this in mind, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Uncle Sam"? Kind of, yes, but only as a rental. I'd say that this movie is worth watching only once. I feel like, had this movie lived up to being more self aware of it's own premise, I would've said absolutely, and you should go find a copy of this movie somewhere, physically. However, seeing as how this movie has a lot of flaws to it's story that I just can't simply ignore, I would say that it's worth watching just once. Now, who knows? If you seriously want to check this thing out, you might really enjoy it more than I did. And hey, who knows? Perhaps maybe it could become a 4th of July tradition for you as well as something you could watch every year, too. Unfortunately for me, however, that's probably not gonna be the case. I don't see myself watching this thing again anytime soon. I'm more disappointed in it than anything else. Which is sad to say, but that's just how it is, sometimes. But still, I can recommend it to you guys, if you can somehow rent it, or find it somewhere on YouTube for free and you can watch it there. But to purchase a physical copy is something I'm not overly confident about. Luckily for me, my copy only costed about $7. So, I can't say I was entirely ripped off, but still...yeah, this thing just flat out disappointed me. So now, I'm gonna go and watch something else. I think I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Escape From New York". Seeing as how I saw Isaac Hayes in this thing, and how awesome he was in "Escape From New York", I'm gonna go and watch that next, cause I really just sorta want to now. So, I'll go and do that next as soon I get done with this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Amon Saga

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering an OVA from 1986. That OVA is "Amon Saga".

Now, I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I know very little about this thing. What little information I found is what I picked up from the DVD case. First thing I can tell you is that the plot to this thing is about a warrior, who's set for revenge against the people that killed his mother. Which sounds like a simple premise enough. The other thing I can tell you guys, before I start watching this thing, is that the character designs in this OVA are from the same guy who also did the character designs for "Vampire Hunter D". Which sounds great, especially considering that I really enjoyed "Vampire Hunter D". However, just because you have the guy who did those character designs for that movie doesn't automatically mean that this thing is going to be any good.

Now, as I was doing the small amount of further research I did on this OVA, there is something that I found rather odd. See, when I typed in "Amon Saga" on Google's search engine, it advertises this thing to be about 80 minutes long. However, the version I have on DVD has a runtime of 90 minutes. And to add on to all that, there is a version of the OVA on YouTube that's about 75 minutes long. So...someone's got their runtimes mixed up here. Either it's the DVD version I own, or it's one of the other two possibilities. I'm gonna eventually find out for myself once I start watching it, because that part is really kinda bugging me slightly.

So, with all that said, I'm hoping for this thing to be pretty good. I'm not totally sure if it will be, but I am gonna find out for myself. And the only way I'm gonna do that is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Amon Saga".

13 minutes later

OK, well, I *was* gonna say whatever that creature was, after breaking off it's skin, looked fucking disgusting as hell. But considering Amon just sliced that guy in half, I don't think it really matters at this point.

13 minutes later

All right, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to bring this issue up until later in the review, but I have to comment on this, because I can't ignore it any longer. The resolution quality on this DVD looks ridiculously pixelated. I don't know if that's just my TV being all like that, but it's really starting to strain my eyes, and it's probably gonna hinder the rest of this OVA, especially if it doesn't improve. I'm hoping that it does, but I sadly don't think it's going to.

8 minutes later

OK, I have a rather dumb question here, and I know it's too late to ask this, but I want to ask it anyway. So, this messenger from the king was killed. And the reason why he was held hostage originally was because one of the 9 men that had been recruited by Emperor Valhiss is believed to be a spy amongst one of them. Wouldn't it have made more sense to use the messenger as a hostage situation? In which I mean, if one of them doesn't come up and admit that they're a spy, then the messenger's life would've been spared? I understand that it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyways, but it's just a thought that came to me, you know what I mean?

9 minutes later

All right, this is starting to get a little annoying now. This is the 4th or 5th time that they've shown this flashback where Amon's mother was killed. I think we already got that point bludgeoned into our heads now. I don't need to see it again, unless you provide some more context to it. Otherwise, I'm getting tired of seeing this flashback already. This is nothing more than padding, and it's really unnecessary, too.

19 minutes later

You know, guys, I would love to say that what I'm watching at this moment is really interesting and I want to see where it goes from here...but I can't. I have honestly just been kinda bored with most of what's been going on right now. I honestly just don't have a lot to say at this point, but I'm still gonna hold out some hope that it will get interesting, now that we're in the final climax and all.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Amon Saga". And let me go ahead and shut this thing off here...OK. Wow, I'm just...flabbergasted. I really thought I was in for something epic here, and what I ended up with was being really disappointed. Yeah, this thing...kinda sucked. I almost hesitate to say it's bad, but I can't necessarily go that far. It just feels very underwhelming is all.

I do have to comment on something, first and foremost. I commented on the questionable runtime that this movie has. I thought it was going to be 90 minutes, as what was advertised on the official DVD release of this OVA. But no, that's actually *not* true. And it's not 80 minutes either, according to Google's search engine. No, the runtime of this OVA is the version that was advertised on YouTube, which was about 75 minutes long. So, I have to ask: Where is the other 15 minutes that this DVD claims to have in order to be 90 minutes long? I know it probably won't change anything, considering the quality of this OVA and all, however, I hate being lied to. Again, this is the *official* version that was released on DVD. And unless there's an uncut version of this movie that I wasn't made aware of, you do *not* advertise a false runtime of something that it claimed it was going to be, only for it to be much shorter than that!

But do you want to know something that's sorta funny to me? Even though this DVD advertised a false runtime, I'm actually kinda happy that it wasn't 90 minutes long. Because if it was, then that would've only added more to the padding that this movie already has. And I may as well just jump right into the writing here. And to start with, the pacing in this movie is just painfully bad. There are scenes in this movie that could've been trimmed down or just cut out entirely, because they do not need to exist. We don't need to be reminded 4 or 5 times that Amon's mother was slain as a child. Any viewer that doesn't have the mindset of a goldfish would've already ascertained this information within their mind without it being, again, bludgeoned into the viewers brain over and over again.

And since I'm on the subject regarding the flashback, the characters in this movie are mostly flat and lifeless. And in Amon's case, that is a *horrible* thing to say, because you would think that, with a backstory like his, you have more than enough reason to care about him getting revenge on the bastards that killed his mother. But no, because Amon has the personality of dried-up paint. There is no reason for you to care about Amon's quest to avenge his mother because his personality is just so bland that it almost hurts. Almost everyone else I can say the same thing, too. The only exception to all this is Gaius. Gaius is the only character in this OVA who's almost the exact opposite compared to Amon, because he actually has something resembling a personality. And ultimately, he ended up being the only character in this thing that I actually sorta liked. There's also this blue creature that only appears two times in the movie to help out Amon, and there's *no* explanation as to who this is and why he's even helping him to begin with.

Now our story here, beyond Amon's quest to avenge his mother's death, also falters into the pacing issues as well. Because this story just feels really uneven and incredibly slow, too. Aside from Amon's own personal quest, there's another character named Princess Lichia, who was kidnapped by Emperor Valhiss. And she's being held hostage until her father, King Darai Sem, can provide him a map that will lead them to the Valley of Gold. Which, I think you can already guess what that entails to. But anyway, the story here feels very unfocused, even for a fantasy movie. Because it doesn't know whether it should focus more on Amon's personal quest or the treasure map. It doesn't really mesh at all. And had this thing been better paced, and better written, it probably could've been extended to it's supposed 90 minute runtime to help flesh it out a bit more.

But as it stands, the writing here is just not very good. This OVA is just put together in a rather clunky fashion that almost nothing here gels very well. And speaking of which, the dub for this movie is also just bad. Granted, in terms of 80's dubs, it's not the worst I've heard, but it's far from good. The dub here is kind of a mixture of being flat, to being a little overly campy at the same time. And as someone likes some campiness, this isn't exactly the good kind of camp that I normally would enjoy. It just fell kinda flat here. Now thankfully, there is an option where you can watch it with the Japanese audio and English subtitles. So if you have to watch this movie, it's recommend that you watch it in that version.

Animation here feels really cheap, as there are some moments of recycled animation that is used here. Mostly in the beginning during the flashbacks. And I don't mean Amon's mother being killed on repeat, I mean there are moments where there's people running, and it will use the same frame of animation at least two or three times. Now thankfully, it's not for entirety of the OVA, but it is still very noticeable. I will say that the art-style is really good, though that could be attributed to the character designs being made from the same guy who created the designs for "Vampire Hunter D". But that's just character designs, the color palettes here are used very well, too. So, I can't say that the animation is all cheap-looking.

I haven't talked about this in a while, but I need to talk about the picture quality on this OVA. Or, at least, the version I have on DVD. Now again, I don't know if this is just my TV that's causing this, but for some reason, the resolution looks very pixelated. And what I mean by that is that there are shots in this movie that looks very low-res. And I can't pick out any particular shot, because it happens a lot in this movie. The most noticeable patterns I've noticed about these shots is whenever a character is suppose to be seen from a faraway angle, and for some reason, they look very pixelated. And I can't figure out as to why this is. I don't know if this is from really shoddy compression issues, or if, again, that's how my TV shows it at times. And what's weird about this is, whenever I pop in any anime movies in my DVD player, sometimes those issues will pop up. But that's only very rarely, and they don't get in the way over the whole experience. The only time I can think of whenever I complained about this issue is when I reviewed "Belle" last year. Those issues popped up a lot, and I theorized that it could either be my TV or if it's just the DVD I own, and that these issues don't happen on Blu-ray. I don't know, because I don't own a Blu-ray player, and I still have no plans to own one.

But yeah, guys, that to me is what mostly turned me off about this OVA, because this one, for some reason, has this particular problem the most. It may just, ultimately, be an issue on my TV, so I'll have to check into that at some point whenever I get the opportunity. But anyway, guys, beyond all of that, the sound-mix here is mixed fine, and the music here is not too bad either. It's not great, mind you, but it's still decent at best.

So, when all is said and done, guys, am I able to recommend "Amon Saga"? If you can, somehow, find it for cheap anywhere, whether it's on DVD or Blu-ray, then I would say give it a shot. Or, if you want to watch it for free on YouTube, it's up on there, at least at the time that I'm writing this review, then sure, go ahead and give it a watch there. But if you plan on getting a physical copy of this thing, make sure it's somewhere within the $5 range. I bought this DVD at one of my local video stores for $12. And that, to me, feels a little bit too high for my tastes. That, plus the OVA's not all that good anyways, so I'm gonna be kinda happy to trade this thing in the moment I get that chance. For now, though, I'm gonna go and watch something better. I think, since I mentioned a couple of times in this review already, I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Vampire Hunter D", because I'm kinda in the mood for something better right now.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.