Reaction & Review | Tomb Raider

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the "Video Game Movie Marathon" here on Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a movie from 2018. That movie is "Tomb Raider".

Now, I'm gonna be honest with you, guys, I haven't really played a whole lot of the "Tomb Raider" games. The first one I ever played was Tomb Raider Legend on the GameCube, which was a long time ago. And then some years later, I ended up playing the Tomb Raider reboot from 2013, which kinda surprised me a little bit. It wasn't a great game by any stretch, but I did end up having some fun with it. And then I also played it's sequel called Rise of the Tomb Raider. And when I first played that game, I did end up liking it, but I noticed it wasn't quite as interesting as the first game was. But then when I replayed it again about a year or so ago, I ended up kinda disliking it for some reason. The game was sort of glitchy, and I didn't find the story to be all that interesting upon a second playthrough of it. So I ended up trading in the game shortly afterwards. I still have the first game, which I still tend to replay every now and then.

And as you might've noticed, yes, I am gonna be covering the live action adaptation of the 2013 reboot game. Now I understand that some people aren't exactly fans of this version of Lara Croft, because she kinda tends to be on the whiny side of things, whether it involves her having daddy issues or herself getting physically hurt a lot. Which I can understand to a degree, because that stuff can be a little bit annoying. However, as I've stated before, I haven't really experienced much of the "Tomb Raider" franchise. And yes, I am aware of the HD trilogy that was re-released on the Switch, however, I'm not really gunning for those particular games at the moment. So, for better or worse, I have a little more experience with the reboot version of Lara Croft, thus is the reason why I'm covering this movie.

Now like I said, this movie is suppose to be an adaptation of the 2013 reboot game, and I have heard positive things about this movie. So there is a chance that this movie could be good. Granted, there is also that possibility that this movie could totally suck, and it very well could end up that way by the time I finish watching it. But the only way I'm gonna find out as to whether or not this movie will be any good at all is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Tomb Raider".

20 minutes later

Guys, I understand this moment is suppose to be touching and all, in which Lara is watching a video camera with a pre-recorded message from her late father, but can we actually get this story rolling at some point? Because right now, this movie's pacing is rather glacial. I thought we'd be at the cursed island by now, but no, we're not even at *that* point yet. I'm hoping this movie will get better once we actually reach the island, but as of right now, we're off to a pretty slow start here.

20 minutes later

Well, guys, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that Lara has now finally reached the cursed island to where Himiko's tomb rests at. Bad news? It took the movie exactly 40 minutes to reach this point in a film that's just under 2 hours long. The pacing in this movie is becoming horrifically bad, and I fear it's gonna become a detriment to the rest of the film. I'm certainly hoping that's not the case, now that we're actually on the fucking island and everything, but I have this strange feeling that it's probably going to end up being that way.

2 minutes later

OK, I know this is a *really* stupid thing to be bitching about, but it's already starting to bother me. So we've just been introduced to this character named Mathias, who I'm going to assume is suppose to be the main villain from the game. Except, his name here is being pronounced as "Matias", despite the fact that his name has a fucking 'H' in it. And I probably wouldn't be making this much of an issue about it, except in the game, his name was pronounced as "Mathias" with the 'H' in it. So...why the hell did they leave such a small detail like that out of his name? Again, I totally understand that it's a really trivial and stupid thing to be complaining about, but it just sounds *really* fucking stupid to change his name like that for this movie adaptation, you know what I mean?

15 minutes later

So, guys, now that we're almost halfway through this movie, I gotta ask: When does it actually start to get interesting? I mean, they just recreated a scene from the game in which Lara was parachuting through some trees, and I would probably find that really interesting...if I was actually playing the game instead of watching a boring movie adaptation of it. Seriously, guys, this movie is becoming boring as shit, and I *still* got another hour of this crap to sit through. This is gonna hurt. Badly.

20 minutes later

You know, guys, I was just gonna ask this just before the movie brought it up. This movie is called "Tomb Raider", and I haven't seen a single tomb being raided up til this point. And I would be happy to say that Lara is finally going to open the tomb to Himiko's lair, but at this point, I fear it's just it's too little, too late. The pacing in this movie is fucking atrocious, and, at this point, I really cannot wait until this fucking thing ends.

18 minutes later

It amazes me, guys. It amazes me how someone could adapt a Tomb Raider game, that wasn't all that great to begin with, and turn it into a boring, terrible slugfest of a movie! How the fuck is that even possible?! I really thought this was gonna be good, but no! This movie is just becoming more boring with each passing minute that it's starting to become a chore to get through. And I can't shut it off now, because, as per rules for this series, I have to watch it all the way to the end. The only bit of good news is that this movie has a little over 20 minutes to go before it ends. And God, I hope it ends sooner rather than later, because I am almost falling the fuck asleep just by watching this movie. It really is that painful.

The Review

Oh, thank you, God, it's over. Well, guys, that was "Tomb Raider". No no...shut up, movie. You're not teasing me with that fucking sequel hook, which I hope to God never fucking happens. After watching this, I'm kinda less a fan of the franchise now. Which is an amazing feat, because I wasn't all that much of a fan of the "Tomb Raider" series to begin with. But this movie almost makes me want to steer clear away from this franchise altogether. And to think, I actually heard from people that this movie was really good. Which makes me wonder if they were actually talking about the Angelina Jolie movies instead of this, because those things actually look more like Tomb Raider than this thing did. Just...good god, this movie was shit.

OK, I've stalled long enough. I should really get into the movie proper here so that I can actually talk about why this movie was shit. Let's start with the writing. Now, one thing that you guys need to take into account is that this movie is suppose to be an adaptation of a reboot of a video game series. And personally, I have no problems with studios wanting to do reboots. Because at least with those, you can establish a new universe without having to retcon an older series. For example, you can watch the J.J. Abrams "Star Trek" movies without having to worry about it erasing the older timelines of the previous "Star Trek" TV series or movies. You could watch almost any of the older Marvel movies pre-MCU without it having affecting the MCU timeline in someway. You could watch the Gamera trilogy from the mid-to-late 90's without it having to erase anything from the older movies because it is it's own separate universe. Basically, it's examples like those where you don't have to worry about an older timeline being erased because something is rebooting itself. And in the case of the 2013 Tomb Raider game and this movie, it is no exception. So you don't have to worry about them erasing the older timeline of the games or movies, because it is it's own separate thing. I just wanted to get that out of the way first, because some people can get real finicky when it comes to canon and such.

So, with that being said, let's actually talk about this movie that's suppose to be an adaptation of the 2013 game. And the first thing I want to ask you guys is how exactly do you adapt a game that was roughly about 8 to 12 hours long into a 2 hour movie? Well...the answer to that question is you change it up completely and make it *incredibly* boring to boot. To start with, this movie's pacing is fucking awful. You would think that maybe it would take about 10, maybe 15 minutes, to get Lara Croft to the cursed island where Himiko's tomb lay rest, but you would be wrong. This movie takes up at least 40 minutes of it's time in getting to that pivotal point by having it, instead, showing Lara live as a bike courier and trying to earn money the hard way rather than inheriting her father's money, because she wouldn't be able to have access to Croft Manor if she didn't accept the inheritance deal. And later, when she learns about what her father was researching, she tries to find a way to the island through a ship that was sold to him. And you'd think maybe, at that point, we would finally get to the island, right? Again...no. Instead, we see her selling off her necklace that was given to her by her father for money, so that she can buy a ship from a pier that will get her to the island. But before that, she is chased by these 3 guys who are after her things for no actual reason other than they're just petty thieves, who then gets stopped by some ship captain named Lu Ren, who eventually gives Lara a ride with because his Dad disappeared on the same island that Lara's father disappeared on 7 years ago, and so they travel together to finally get to the island.

And all of what I just described to you guys is basically just an abridged version of what happens within the first 40 minutes of the movie. Now a lot of this could've been avoided had the movie cut out a mountain of padding, because there is so much of it within the first 40 minutes. You could've cut out the bullshit involving the thieves chasing Lara around the pier, because it really goes nowhere and has no impact on the movie. Now you could argue that the movie was taking it's time to showcase it's abilities on what Lara can do, right? Well, she really doesn't do much here, outside of trying to evade the thieves, and what little she does show off isn't really all that interesting. Speaking of not being interesting, the movie could've also cut out the bullshit involving the bike sequences at the beginning, because it also really doesn't go anywhere other than the fact that Lara can ride a bike, apparently. And it really is never brought up again afterwards because it has no bearing on the movie whatsoever. You don't see her riding a bike on the island, so why the hell even have this in the beginning, anyway? Guys, a lot of this could've been cut out, and it probably would've made for a somewhat better paced movie. You can have the flashbacks to her childhood with her father, but when you have a movie that takes *forever* to get itself going, then you have a serious problem with your pacing, because this movie did *not* need to take 40 minutes just to get itself to the island and have our plot officially kick off.

Which then leads into the other big problem with this movie, which is our characters. All of our characters in this movie are as shallow as shit. Now I want to stress that the characters in the 2013 game weren't all that better, in my opinion. But at least there, you could find a character or two that you could like and sorta care about. Myself, not really, but at least there is something there resembling substance, when it comes to it's characters. This movie, on the other hand, decided not to include any of them, and, instead, mostly relies on Lara Croft, her Dad, Lu Ren, and Mathias. And none of these characters have a shred of personality or depth to them. Lu Ren is only here because his Dad had also disappeared on the island with Lara's father, and he has nothing else going for him. Mathias is even more boring than his game counterpart, which I didn't think was actually possible, but this movie somehow managed to accomplish that. The only thing you really know about him is that he has a daughter back home and...that's it. And as for Lara and her Dad, well, I kinda joked about the Daddy issues bit from before I started watching the movie, but after watching it, yeah, those issues are in full effect here, and it makes her character feel very flat and unlikable. And without having to spoil too much of what happened to her father, it becomes painfully obvious as to what happens to him on the island, and if you don't figure out from within the first minute, then I'm sorry, but you're about as stupid as this movie is. Which, to be fair, I don't think it was intending to hide it very well to begin with, so make of it what you will, I suppose.

So it goes without saying, guys, that the writing in this movie is horrible. It's both horrible as an adaptation of it's 2013 counterpart, and it's horrible as a standalone movie. There is nothing here I could even conjure up as a positive when it comes to this film's writing because it is just that bad. And naturally, when you have writing that is this bad, you would expect the acting to follow suit, right? Well, honestly...the acting is sort of a mixed bag. I will say that some of the acting here isn't too bad, with the biggest standout being our main actress, Alicia Vikander. She actually turns in a pretty good showing for the most part, and she does somewhat look the part to be playing as this version of Lara Croft. That being said, I *can't* say the same about any of the younger versions of herself when we get to see the flashbacks of her and her father. Both the child and teenage actresses that are suppose to be Lara Croft sound *terrible*. Both of them sound about as sterile and robotic as they could possibly sound. It also doesn't help the fact that neither of them show any kind of emotion when they give out their lines. You'd think that having your father leave you twice to go on his expeditions would leave you with more of a sadder expression on your face, but I guess whoever they got to play these younger versions of Lara couldn't be bothered to do that much. Not only were they terrible, but so was the actor playing Mathias, who sounds probably the most wooden of the entire cast. He has only one type of voice he talks with throughout the entire movie, and it sounds about as quiet and as monotone as you could possibly imagine. Hell, even in the game, Mathias had more of a range in his voice compared to the actor playing Mathias in this movie. It is just that wooden and that lifeless, and he is easily the worst actor in this entire movie.

Special effects in this movie are...average, at best. There are explosions in this movie that, I swear, look as if it was rendered in CG and it looks awful. I don't know why that is and it would've been more preferable if they had used practical explosions instead of these terrible CG effects. And considering this movie is suppose to be an action film, it would've definitely helped things out tremendously. As for everything else involving special effects, well...the squib work on the guns are decent...the stunt work is also done pretty well...and the costuming and makeup effects (what little makeup is used here) are also decent. So...really, guys, the effects here are mostly just average and are nothing to write home about.

Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting here is also lit rather well. The sound-mix is also mixed well. The music here for both the score and soundtrack are really forgettable. There are a couple of songs in this movie, at least in the beginning 10 minutes or so, that *really* suck. I have no idea if this is suppose to be some form of hip-hop or what have you, but it sounds awful and I also suspect that the singing was auto-tuned as well. And if that's the case, then it makes the songs sound even more awful than what they already were. The score here is also nothing special, but I will at least grant it that it's definitely something that you would've heard from the 2013 game. So, if anything else, at least they got that much down. But otherwise, guys, the music here is ultimately forgetful.

And that's the best word I can describe this movie in a nutshell. It is just painfully forgettable. So with that said, am I able to recommend "Tomb Raider"? No. In no way can I recommend this movie to *anyone*. As an adaptation of the 2013 game, it sucks. And as a standalone movie, it is just so fucking boring that you'll end up falling asleep long before this movie reaches it's conclusion. But hey, at least it could provide as a decent sleeping pill. So if you need something to help you get to sleep as fast as possible, you could attempt to watch this movie, and it'll put you to sleep very quickly. Which I totally understand is not meant to be a positive, but honestly, guys, there is nothing about this movie I can say is even worth watching for. If you really want to experience this version of "Tomb Raider" for some reason, go play the 2013 game. It's not great, but at least it's more interesting than this boring ass movie. Or you could go play any of the previous "Tomb Raider" games before the reboot version and you most likely won't be missing a thing. As I said, I'm not a huge fan of the "Tomb Raider" franchise, and this movie didn't really win me over as fan. That said, maybe I could potentially try out the HD trilogy re-release on the Switch when it's on sale for a discounted price. But right now, I really have almost no interest in this series, so I'm gonna go and play something else. And I was just thinking of a game that I bought recently that actually is a rather interesting dungeon crawler game. I'm gonna go and play my copy of Darksiders II for the Xbox 360. That game is certainly rather fun at times, so I'm gonna go and do that next after I get done putting this review together.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.