Reaction & Review | Hell Fest

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 2018. That movie is "Hell Fest".

Now, I really don't know a whole lot about this movie. I came across this movie about a year ago one day while I was out searching for movies and games that I wanted to buy. And what I read on the back of the DVD case sounded kinda fascinating. Allow me to read what is written on the back for you guys.

"A group of friends are bound for a horror-themed Halloween event at a local amusement park - a sprawling labyrinth of rides, games, and mazes that travels the country and happens to be in town. But for one visitor, the ghoulish carnival of nightmares is not the attraction - it is a hunting ground. On the night the friends attend, a masked serial killer turns the amusement park into his own playground, terrorizing attendees while the rest of the patrons believe that it is all part of the show. As the body count and frenzied excitement of the crowd continue to rise, who will survive the night?"

I'm gonna tell you, guys, that sounds really cool. Now, I have no idea if they're gonna be able to turn this premise into a good movie, but I'll find out when I eventually start watching it. That being said, there is one thing that I'm a little bit leery about. And it was a blurb that I caught on the front cover for this movie. The blurb says that this movie is from an executive producer of "The Walking Dead". And I want to let everyone know right now that I'm not a huge fan of "The Walking Dead". Aside from the fact that it ran on too long, similar to shows such as "Smallville" and "Supernatural", it was also responsible for the zombie fad to start being a thing, and it made me lose interest with a lot of things involving zombies, because they were fucking everywhere at the time. The only real experience I ever had with "The Walking Dead" was when I use to watch playthroughs of Telltale's "The Walking Dead" series on YouTube (preferably with no commentary). And while I will say that the story for it was kinda intriguing to follow, that final season completely shit the bed, because it fucking sucked! At least, to me, it did.

Now, I'm not really gonna hold that against this movie. Because it could still be really interesting. I have no idea if it's gonna be any good or not, but I'm hoping that it is good. And the only way I'm gonna find out if it is any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Hell Fest".

11 minutes later

All right, guys, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that this movie is not wasting any time in getting our main characters to Hell Fest. The bad news is that all of our main characters, at least so far anyway, all border on being unlikable sacks of shit. I'm kinda hoping, maybe, this movie will give us some sort of a reason to make us care about these characters at some point. And if not, then I want our masked killer to just gut most of these characters off in the most gruesome ways possible.

12 minutes later

OK, I kinda have a stupid question here that I'm probably not gonna get an answer to, but I want to ask it anyway. So, Natalie just saw our masked killer knifed some random girl right in front of her. And just to clarify, he killed that girl for real. So, did he just leave her body in there the way it is? And if so, what happens if someone else discovers the body? Because she was killed in the chest area with blood showing from her wounds. Don't you think that if someone discovers the body in that condition, then they may see it as it being more than just a dead prop for the event? I totally understand that I may be reading too much into this, but it's those kinds of details that sort of bug me a bit.

12 minutes later

Well, guys, it took over a half an hour into the movie, but we finally got one of our main characters killed off. At least the kill was a little bit creative. It wasn't great, or memorable for that matter, but at least it was a little bit creative.

15 minutes later

You know what, guys, I will say one thing about this movie. The sets in this movie look awesome. They seriously do. And it kinda makes me wonder why they didn't just make Hell Fest into an actual annual event rather than turning it into some lame ass horror movie? It seriously makes me wonder that, because so far, this movie has been boring as fuck, our characters are still unlikable, and I'm kinda hoping that they all just die off sooner rather than later.

17 minutes later

You know what's even sadder, guys? I just realized this, but even our masked killer has no personality or depth to his character! That is fucking astonishing, when you consider that all of our other characters are about as shallow and lifeless as well. Good God, the writing in this movie is fucking horrible! And I seriously can't wait until this stupid thing ends!

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Hell Fest". Thank fucking god, it's over. I'm gonna shut this garbage off...OK. Dear god, that was fucking terrible. I'm sorry, guys, but I had to take a minute away from my laptop to just digest what the hell I just watched for about 90 minutes. It damn near left me speechless, and obviously not in a positive way.

So anyway, I may as well just get into this thing by talking about the writing. I want to make this known to any and all filmmakers out there. If you are going to write a horror movie, there is one thing that I would like for you to keep mind while you're doing this. The least I am asking for is to give ANY reason as to why we should care about your characters. You are not required to give out depth that is deep, complex, or anything like that. That is not what I am asking for. The only thing I ask for is, again, to just give the viewer a reason as to why we should care about your characters. And the reason why I keep beating this horse throughout a lot of these reviews is because it's one of the main things that you should be focusing on when writing a horror movie. Now if it was an action movie, then I can kinda understand that. Because most people care about the action rather than the story or characters. It's not entirely for me, personally, but I know a lot of people that are into those kinds of films. A couple of other exceptions would be if, say, you were either writing a parody of horror movies, or if it was a horror comedy in some aspects. A great example would be "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". While the main characters in that movie were a little bit bland, everything else in that movie was great, from the clowns, the special effects, the creative kills, all of that was great, and it ended up being an awesome movie. But for straight-up horror movies like this, however, it is important to make your characters feel like they matter to the story. And since our characters don't have any kind of personality or depth to speak of in this film, it left me with no reason to give a fuck about anyone. Including our masked killer, who I'll get to in a bit. But anyway, I wanted to get that out of the way first, because I'm getting sick and tired of filmmakers who clearly don't give a fuck about writing decent characters. And I don't care how many times I beat this fucking horse, because it's gonna continue to keep getting beaten until filmmakers realize that you NEED some kind of characters that matter in some way, even if they don't have tons of depth to them.

Now, since I wanted to get that out of the way first, let's actually try and talk about the characters in this movie, shall we? First off, I want to mention that summary I brought up that was written on the back of the DVD case. The summary about how there's a masked serial killer that's roaming around a horror-themed amusement park killing people. Which, by itself, is a very simple concept, and one that, I think, had a ton of potential to be amazing. And if this were written by people who knew what the fuck they were doing, then this would've been a great movie. Unfortunately though, the execution for it is a fucking disaster. Since I just railed about most filmmakers not giving a shit enough on how to write decent characters, let me go through what characters we are working with for this movie. I'm gonna start with our main characters. Now if my rant wasn't a dead giveaway earlier, our characters here are all unlikable, shallow, and fucking lifeless. There is nobody here I can think of that's even worth caring for. In fact, they're so shallow that I can only remember a few names here that consists of characters. We have Natalie, who is personality free. Gavin, who's basically Natalie's boyfriend, and is also personality free. Brooke, who's Natalie's friend. Possibly best friend, but I couldn't tell if you that was the case or not. The only other one I can remember is Taylor, who's kind of a snarky, smartass bitch. And the sad thing about her is that she is the closest thing to having any sort of personality out of the entire group that consist's of our main characters. Do you know how depressing that is when the only character in this movie that has any kind of personality is the one who's basically kind of a bitch? That is just fucking depressing on a whole host of levels! Mind you, she's not any different when compared to any of the other main characters in this movie. But it's still fucking depressing to know that she's the only one who had a small shine of personality in this movie. Everyone of our other main characters are just there as throwaway characters that are only there to be killed off by our masked killer.

Speaking of which, let's finally talk about our killer for this movie, shall we? First of all, as you may or may not have noticed, our masked killer has no kind of name or surname to it's character. It's just some random masked killer who's mask sorta looks like Frankenstein. But other than that, our killer goes nameless throughout the entire movie. Secondly, our killer is a silent killer. Which, OK, that's fine. I don't mind having silent killers, as long as they're interesting. After all, Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees are two of the best examples I can think of when it comes interesting silent killers. But here is the difference between those two killers and our masked killer for this movie. What made Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees stand out was the fact that they both had backstory and depth to their characters that gives them motivation for the reasons behind their killings. But as for our masked killer? He has almost NOTHING to go on when it comes to his character. I thought, at the time, that maybe this guy was getting revenge for what happened to his girlfriend in the prologue at the beginning of the movie. But nope, I was WAY the fuck off! You see, this movie tries to shoehorn in something towards the very end that makes no fucking sense whatsoever. And I'm gonna have to spoil this, because it's been on my mind since I finished watching the movie, and I have to talk about it here. So if you have any interest in watching this movie for some bizarre reason, then you may want to skip to the next paragraph, because I'm spoiling this scene right here. At the very end of the movie, the killer comes home to his house, and puts his mask away in a shelf along with a bunch of other masks. He then greets his daughter, who just woke up, and greets her Dad with a hug. Her Dad then gives her a stuffed doll that was one of the prizes at one of the carnival games. And...that's it. Credits roll, and I am left with just one simple question. Why...? Why go through ALL of this killing if the only reason was because you wanted to bring home a stuffed doll for your daughter? You couldn't fucking win it legitimately on your own, so that's why you turned to killing?! I don't know, and at this point, I don't care. It was a terrible fucking explanation, and the only reason I can think of as to why this killer went through with all of the killings in this movie was simply because fuck you, that is why. And I'm gonna stick by that answer, because it makes a hell of a lot more sense than what went on in this movie.

So yeah, guys, the writing in this movie is fucking horrible on just about every single level. I can't think of a single positive when it comes to this movie's writing because it is just THAT bad. Now shockingly, as horrible as this fucking writing was, the acting was actually pretty decent. Almost everyone here turned in a pretty good showing, save for anytime that Brooke's actress has to attempt to cry. It sounds horribly fake, and she easily gives out the worst performance in that regard. Beyond that, though, her acting is still decent for what it is. In fact, I'm shocked that this cast was able to take such a lifeless script and was kinda able to polish this turd just enough to where they can make it kinda work. The best actor in this movie has to go to Tony Todd. Tony Todd's in the movie for, like, 3 minutes, and it's probably the best 3 minutes you'll get from him out of this movie. Which makes me question why we didn't get him as our main killer for this movie, rather than some no-named masked killer who has almost nothing for actual character depth or personality? I don't know. But regardless, Tony Todd easily turns in the best showing in this movie, so I gotta give him a ton of props for being as awesome as he could be for the short time that he was in this thing. Overall, though, the acting here is decent, but Tony Todd easily steals the show in this movie.

I will also say, again, that the sets in this movie look amazing. The Hell Fest amusement park looks really cool. In fact, you could actually just turn this into a real horror-themed amusement park, because I truly think that anyone who is a fan of horror would definitely get a kick of attending a horror-themed amusement park such as this. The best example of this is when our main characters enter 3 different mazes. The look of these mazes look really cool, and kinda haunting as well. We have costuming here that is really good, save for maybe our main killer who, as I mentioned earlier, only wears a Frankenstein-like mask. Just about everyone at this amusement park is dressed up as some sort of monster, alien, or clown that really makes them stand out that goes around scaring people while they're just walking around having fun. Now I'm pretty sure that there are horror-themed conventions that sorta cover this, but I think that a horror-themed amusement park would be just as fun as well. Which, again, makes me question why the hell they actually turned this into a shitty horror movie rather than making it a cool-looking horror-themed amusement park? I will never know, but it's just such a missed opportunity to not take advantage of. Special effects are also pretty good, too. The gore effects, what little there are in this movie, are decent. The practical blood here is also really good. So yeah, the special effects are pretty good, and the sets in this movie are definitely the biggest positive I can garner out of this movie.

Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting here is also lit really well, despite the fact that most of this movie was filmed during the nighttime. But they definitely take advantage of this, which makes this movie stand out with it's colorful lighting in these areas. Our sound-mix here is mixed perfectly fine. The music, however, I couldn't tell you a single piece of music that was in anyway memorable. It kinda leans towards being shit, because there is a little bit of techno music in this movie, though that's only in the beginning stages of when our main characters first enter the amusement park. But honestly, guys, beyond that, the music here just sounds like a typical, generic horror movie score that is in no way memorable.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Hell Fest"? No. Hell no! This movie is, very clearly, wasted potential. You had a very simple concept that was ultimately ruined by terrible fucking writing. Most of that comes from our characters, whether it's our lifeless main characters, or our masked killer with nothing interesting about him. This writing is some of the worst I have ever seen from a horror movie in a long time. Now I don't think it's gonna be bad enough to make it into this year's Bottom 5 list, but it's still a really awful movie. If you see this thing anywhere, whether it's on Netflix, or Hulu, or even on DVD and Blu-ray, do not waste your time on it. It is a horrible fucking movie that will waste 90 minutes of your time, and you won't be able to get any of that back if you decide to watch this movie for whatever baffling reason. I know for a fact that I'm never gonna be watching this thing again, and the sooner that I'm able to trade it in, the better off I will be without it. Now...since I mentioned "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", I'm gonna go and watch that next. Because I need to feel happy after watching this trash. So yeah, that's what I'm gonna do next after I'm done putting this review together.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.