Reaction & Review | Santa's Slay

Welcome, one and all, to the "Reaction & Review Christmas Special"! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is that time of year again where I cover another Christmas movie for this series. And for this year's Christmas Special, I have found a movie that I've wanted to watch for many years now. It is a horror comedy from 2005. That movie is "Santa's Slay".

Now, one of the big reasons why I wanted to watch this movie was mainly because of it's star. For you see, this movie stars former WCW World Heavyweight Champion and former WWE Universal Champion, Goldberg, as a killer Santa Claus. And that, to me, sounds fucking hilariously awesome. Because even though I didn't watch a whole lot of WCW back in the day, I did watch his short run in WWE back when he debuted in 2003. And while his last match with Brock Lesnar back at Wrestlemania XX was fucking terrible, I still mostly enjoyed his run back then. And before anyone asks, no, I don't care about his current part-time run. I stopped watching WWE back in early 2019, because their current product has been unwatchably bad.

But setting aside my disdain about WWE's current product, I'm gonna talk about what I know about this movie going in. As I just stated, the movie stars Bill Goldberg, and he plays a killer Santa Claus in this movie. And, like I stated earlier, this thing is a horror comedy. I know this, because I used to watch the trailer for this movie back several years ago. And what I watched looked really funny, and very promising, too. I also know one of the other stars for this movie is Fran Drescher. Which...OK. I mean, admittedly, I wouldn't consider myself a fan of Fran Drescher's. However, she could still be really funny in this thing.

I'm REALLY hoping that this movie is gonna be amazing, guys. But there is that slight possibility that it could totally suck. I'm hoping that's not the case, though. Because I really want to like this thing. So, I may as well just quit stalling and see if this movie is as funny as the trailer made it out to be. And the only way I'm gonna that find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Santa's Slay".

4 minutes later

Guys, we're not even 5 minutes into the movie yet, and I'm already loving every second of it. That opening segment was fucking amazing! I'm hoping the rest of the movie is gonna be just as funny. Otherwise, I'm gonna be sorely disappointed.

5 minutes later

Well...that's certainly one way to ram an old lady off the road. Also, was that reindeer suppose to resemble a buffalo? I'm not totally certain, but it really did look like a buffalo to me, guys. Still though, certainly really funny.

12 minutes later

So that "gun" that Mary just gave to Nicholas was actually just a Transformers toy. All of a sudden, I kinda want one of those for myself now. Mind you, I'm not the biggest Transformers fan, but I seriously would want one of those anyways. It just looks really fucking cool.

4 minutes later

OK, that is one of the more creative deaths I've seen involving a stripper pole. Seemed a little unnecessary for Santa to sanitize the stripper pole before using it, but hey, who am I to judge?

8 minutes later

Holy shit..! Guys, I just witnessed the most unintentionally hilarious death scene in this entire movie so far. And considering that these kids had a bit of a potty mouth to them, they absolutely fucking deserved it, too. That was awesome!

16 minutes later

You know, guys, I was gonna make a snarky reference to that Christmas song called "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", but I didn't have to in this case. Why? Because Santa already did that for me. At least the timing of that joke was spot on.

13 minutes later

Guys, I know this has nothing to do with the movie itself, but I would like to say that the sport of curling would be a lot less boring if hellfire was involved in someway. Just thought I'd mention that, because out of all the winter sporting events, curling is probably the most boring out of all of them. But adding a touch of hellfire to it would definitely make it a little more interesting. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

The Review

Wait...that's it? *checks the back of the DVD case* I thought this movie was suppose to be 95 minute long! O...K...that's totally weird. Well anyway, that was "Santa's Slay", guys. And I do like how the credits list off who is naughty and who is nice. That is really cute. Anyway, let's shut this movie off...OK.

So, I wasn't really gonna comment on negatives very much, but I actually do have one. You might have already noticed it, but the runtime on this movie is a flat out lie. You see, this DVD claims that the movie is 95 minutes long. When in reality, the movie is about, oh, 71 minutes long. So I need to ask: Where's the rest of the footage? Because unless this movie has 20 minutes worth of credits, then there's no way that this movie should've ended that sooner. And I never do this for movies when it comes to this series, but I checked ahead by fast forwarding through the credits. And there's nothing there, outside of one scene with Bill Goldberg. So unless there's an extended edition of this movie somewhere, I feel a little bit cheated here, because this movie is NOT 95 minutes long. Now admittedly, I don't know if it would've made the movie better than it already was, but I still don't like being lied to, either. So yeah, I don't know why this DVD advertised this movie for being 95 minutes long. Now, this DVD's special features include deleted scenes, so MAYBE those scenes were the footage that never got put into the actual movie. And if that is the case, then someone over at Lionsgate made a huge error on their part when they released this movie on DVD. I have no idea if they also did that for Blu-ray as well, but it certainly is possible.

But anyway, I am NOT gonna let that deteriorate me from my enjoyment that I got out of this movie. Because, guys, I'm gonna tell you right now, this movie is fucking amazing. Mind you, it's not gonna win any awards for anything big, but it didn't need to. Because this movie definitely ranks up there as one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time. At least, when it comes to comedies anyway. But let's get into this by talking about the writing. So, I mentioned earlier that this movie was about a killer Santa Claus. And that is...somewhat true. You see, in this movie, Nicholas, our main character, is told about this story of the "Book of Klaus" from his Grandpa that Santa was confirmed to be the son of Satan. No, you are not mis-reading that. Santa was born from Hell on Christmas day. Much how like how Jesus was born on that very same day also. So anyway, Santa in this movie, instead of delivering presents to children every year, he instead goes on a killing spree every Christmas known as "The Day of Slaying". Which is actually a really cool take on the whole Santa Claus mythos, because it's something you don't normally see when it comes to Santa Claus. Most people just view him as some spiritual being that's lived for thousands of years while always preparing to deliver presents to children every year. And the funny thing about that analogy is how that comes to be. You see, Santa was challenged to a game of curling by this angel. And if the angel won, then Santa would have to cancel "The Day of Slaying" for a thousand years. If the angel didn't, however, then the angel would be sent to Hell. However, the former happened, and thus is the reason why Santa is known to how most people view him. But once those thousand years are finally up, well...this movie happens, and Santa can go back to his glorious killing ways. And it is such a joy to watch.

Our characters are, admittedly, not the most developed. I would say that Nicholas and Mary, our two main characters, are really kinda bland in this movie. Nicholas is not really the most Christmas happy person. Most of that can attribute to his Grandpa, who built a bunker during Christmas time because Nicholas's Grandpa hates Christmas. There is more to this than that, but that would result in me digging into spoilers here, and I'm not gonna do that for you guys, because I'd rather you watch the movie for yourself in order to understand the reason why. As for Mary, well, she's Nicholas's girlfriend, and she really does not have much of any personality to speak of. And normally, guys, under these circumstances, I would say that not having any character depth for your movie would result in your movie, potentially, sucking. However, this is one of those movies that's able to get away with it. Because the one character in this movie who is going to grab your attention is Bill Goldberg as Santa. Holy shit, guys...Santa in this movie is fucking hilarious. Just about everything he says and does in this movie is nothing but pure gold. And part of that reasoning has to go to the acting, but I'll get to that in a bit. As for what he does, well, as I just mentioned earlier, he's out to continue the "Day of Slaying", and that pretty much means killing almost anybody around Christmas, regardless if they were naughty or nice. And I loved every moment of that. The stuff involving Nicholas and Mary is something I could care less about, but anything involving Goldberg's Santa I'm always invested in. He is the reason to watch this movie. Just about all of his kills are creative, and this being a horror comedy, they are all ridiculously funny, too. I'd almost put the kills in this movie to be on par with "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" in terms of creativity and humor. It is just that good.

Mind you, now, as I just stated, the writing here isn't great. And since I just mentioned "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", it's not as well-written as that thing was, either. But on it's own standards, it's a fucking blast to watch regardless. And since I got plenty of laughs out of this thing, it certainly did it's job of being a great horror comedy. With that said, let's get into the acting. And before I talk about Goldberg, do you guys happened to remember when I said that Fran Drescher was gonna be in this movie? Well, a bit of a spoiler on that, she's only in the first few minutes of this movie. And then after that, she is completely gone from the rest of it. Which I think is a good thing, because if she was in the movie for any longer, then I'd probably have to put up with her annoying acting. Thankfully, she, along with the rest of the family, are killed off by Santa's Goldberg. Speaking of which, let's talk about Bill Goldberg in this movie, shall we? His acting in this movie is short and straight to the point. What do I mean by this? Well, to put it simply, it's hilariously awesome. Part of the reason why is because he doesn't have a whole lot of lengthy dialogue scenes. Because when it comes to wrestling actors such as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Hulk Hogan, those two would usually have a lot more speaking dialogue to work with when it comes to their movies. And for me, personally, their acting usually ranges on being a mixed bag, depending on the movie that they're in. I think Hogan does it slightly better, but that's just me. Anyway, those two would usually have more dialogue to work with. But when it comes to Goldberg in this movie, he has a lot of minimal dialogue, and it works so well. He's not trying to win an Oscar with his performance, he's just there to say one-liners or ham it up to a point where it's fucking hilarious to listen to. So yeah, Goldberg was definitely having a blast with this movie. The acting here from everybody else is decent. I would say the one actor who sounded kinda weak was Nicholas's actor Douglas Smith. His performance, at times, sounded kinda flaky. But for the most part, he still did OK, so I'm not gonna harp on his acting too much. But anyway, the acting here is fine, but Goldberg easily steals the show in this movie.

Special effects in this thing are, surprisingly, really decent. I have no idea what the film's budget is, but I'm going to assume it was filmed on a low budget. And if that is the case, then the special effects in this movie are pretty damn good. There is very little practical blood in this movie. Most of that was in the beginning where Santa started off his awesome killing spree. Everything else after that involves digital effects, prop work, and explosions. The explosions were mostly used in the middle of the movie, one in particular involving the most unintentionally, or intentionally, hilarious death in this movie. Digital effects in this movie are decent, but they're honestly nothing to write home about. Props in this movie are utilized very well. Mostly in the scene where Santa is doing his killings at this strip club, such as the pole that strippers use to help them dance. That, to me, was the highest point involving the creative deaths in this movie. Our costuming here is really good. Going back to props for just a second, there is one prop that I noticed that looked rather fake. And it's when Nicholas and Mary break into this school or stadium, I'm not totally sure which, honestly. So, Mary breaks a window, and as she and Nicholas are trying to go through the window, the glass itself looked very much like fiber glass. And I totally understand that you want to work with safe props in order to protect your actors from harm, but the glass looked a little too fake, even for me. However, that is a very minor point that almost nobody is going to notice, or even care about. But it is something that I felt like was worth mentioning, and there is a possibility that you would probably noticed it yourself. But still, it's a very minor nothing in the end, so you just have to take it for what it's worth. Overall, guys, special effects are pretty good in this movie.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is lit very well. The sound-mix is perfectly fine. The soundtrack is, actually, pretty good. Rather than going for the stereotypical stock music that you would hear in a lot of Christmas movies, this movie actually has some really good Rock variations of popular Christmas songs. I'm talking about songs such as "Deck The Halls", "Jingle Bells", and "Joy To The World". But there is also a lot of original music for this movie, too. And a lot of it is really good. Which is certainly saying something, considering that Christmas music is something that a lot of people I know have a love/hate relationship with. Me, personally, I'm indifferent to a lot of it, but there are certain Christmas songs that I really hate also. I am happy to say, though, that the Christmas music that they decided to remix was actually pretty good. And like I said, the original music is also really good, too. So yeah, the soundtrack is definitely a plus from me. And the score here is also decent, too.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Santa's Slay"? Oh, hell yes, guys. This movie is fucking great. The only real issue that I had with it was the ending being kinda rushed, seeing as how this movie was falsely advertised as 95 minutes long. But honestly, it's such a minor point that I loved just about everything else in this movie. The humor is great, and Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus is absolute gold in this movie. If you are a fan of horror comedies, and you want to watch something that also ties into Christmas, this movie is an instant recommendation from me. I loved this movie. And I am to proud to say that I will definitely be watching this thing every year around Christmas time. Now, I mentioned earlier that I skipped over the credits just to see if there was any more footage beyond the credits. And the only thing I found, like I said, was a scene involving Goldberg that I skipped over. I'm gonna go look that up on YouTube and see what exactly I missed, because I'm really curious to find out what that final scene was post credits. So I'm gonna go do that next, after I'm done putting this review together. And this movie is definitely going to have a nice spot on my DVD shelf.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of this year's "Reaction & Review Christmas Special". Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hanukkah, a Joyous Kwanzaa, and I'll see you all later. Peace.