Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be checking out a slasher film from 2000. That movie is "Killjoy". Which comes as part of "The Midnight Horror Collection" DVD 3-pack that features the first 3 "Killjoy" movies. And yes, I will be covering the sequels later on this month.
Now, the one thing I can tell you right off the bat is that this series was put out by Full Moon Features. And I've mentioned them quite a few times in the past, but they're the ones that put out the "Puppet Master" movies. Now, while I have seen a few individual movies from them that were just standalone titles, both for this series and on my own time, I've never gotten a chance to watch any of their other film series. I'm talking about stuff such as "Demonic Toys", "Evil Bong", "Gingerdeadman", "Killjoy" etc. So I figured, tonight, I'm gonna be tackling one of their series this month, which would be the "Killjoy" franchise.
As for what I know about "Killjoy" is not a whole lot. From what I gathered, the movie is about an evil clown that comes back to life and gets revenge for his master, who was killed through bullying. And...that's pretty much it. Honestly, though, it does sound kinda promising. Because it sorta reminds me of a different movie involving a killer clown called "Stitches". Where the plot to that movie was about a birthday party clown getting revenge against the kids that killed him after a prank went horribly wrong. So, being that this movie has a similar premise, it could be really interesting.
Setting that aside, I don't know anything else beyond that. I haven't seen a trailer or a clip from this movie, so I'm gonna go into this thing completely blind. I'm hoping that it's gonna be good, even if it does sound vaguely similar to "Stitches". However, I also have to be reminded of the last time that I watched anything involving a killer clown, it wound up being completely horrible and nonsensical. And for those curious, that movie I'm referring to was "Drive Thru".
So anyway, I am gonna be a bit cautious with this one going in. But still, I want to see if this movie, or even if this franchise, is worth checking out. And the only way I'm gonna find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Killjoy".
12 minutes later
Wait a fucking second here! So, Lorenzo pulled out his gun and pulled the trigger on the back of Michael's head, with no bullets coming out. And after their fake prank, he pulls the trigger AGAIN, and fatally shoots Michael...even though he said that the gun wasn't loaded. Then, did he have the fucking safety on the gun? Or was that just a case of fuck you, it's magic, and suddenly there's a bullet that was in the gun? This movie's just started, guys, and already, none of this makes any sense. I'm kinda hoping it WILL make sense later on, but, so far, we're off to a pretty bad start.
13 minutes later
Wow...that was one of the worst special effects I've seen in any movie in a long time. Mind you, I sat through shit like "Vegas in Space", and even they fucking tried with their special effects. This is just...bad. And it's making a bad movie like this even worse.
6 minutes later
Wait...I just saw some decals on this ice cream truck that featured Sonic the Hedgehog, Snoopy from "Peanuts", and the logo from "Jurassic Park". So...does that mean that Killjoy serves ice cream with those optional decals? If that's the case, then I kinda want ice cream with Sonic's face and the "Jurassic Park" logo on it. Mind you, I don't give a fuck what's going on in this movie right now, because it's that fucking boring, I'm just curious where exactly you can get ice cream with those kinds of logos on it? I'm really curious.
4 minutes later
I didn't think this was possible, guys. But the special effects have gotten WORSE since the previous kills. How the fuck is that even possible?! I'm shocked that a movie can actually pull that off. My god...this is fucking painful, man!
7 minutes later
So...our hobo character from earlier just summarized the entire plot of this movie by showcasing clips of the movie that we've already seen up to this point. And of all this serves...no purpose whatsoever, other than padding. I cannot begin to tell you, guys, how much I hate this fucking movie. But I'm gonna have plenty of time to talk about it when this shit piece is done!
The Review
Oh, thank god, it's over. Well, guys, that was "Killjoy". Let me shut this garbage off...OK. Holy shit, was that ever bad. Um...good god, where do I even begin? Well, I guess, going into it, I was sorta hoping for it to be decent. But no..this was far, FAR worse than I could ever imagine.
Well, I guess, when in doubt, start with the writing. What fucking writing? There was no story whatsoever! Oh sure, there was a writing credit for this movie. And according to the credits for this movie, it was written by someone named Carl Washington. I don't think Mr. Washington has ever written anything in his god damn life. Because if he did, then he should know the basic shit when writing a fucking script. Such as, for example, write a story that's, at least, halfway decent. You would think that a story about a killer clown coming to life through black magic, and then him killing people for revenge for the guy that created him, would sound cool and interesting, but it isn't. Another thing that Mr. Washington should know about when writing a story is to have characters who you can care about. Now, unless if he was making an action movie, then you can most likely bypass that. And in SOME cases, you can get away with that in a horror movie. One good example of that is "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Character depth really didn't exist in that movie, but considering that it was a horror comedy, and the fact that it was entertaining as hell, actually made that movie fucking amazing. This thing, on the other hand, is not doing that. There are no characters that you are going to care about in this movie, but I'll talk more about that in a bit, because I got quite a lot to say about that subject. Also, another thing Mr. Washington should take into consideration when writing a script is that you don't want to have any unnecessary padding in your movie. Such as when the hobo character gets our 3 worthless main characters together to join hands, we get hit with a flashback that summarizes the ENTIRE movie by showing clips from everything we saw from the past 40 minutes of the movie. Why? Because the viewers are goldfish and the movie had to TELL you all this in case you're fucking stupid as shit. If they had showcased anything new about, say, Michael's backstory, or about how Killjoy came to life through that doll and started killing people, I would've not minded that. But the fact that we get told this and not show ANYTHING new is just summed up as fucking padding, because the movie decided it was a good idea to throw in filler that we already knew about and show nothing new in the process. That is abysmal fucking writing on every single god damn level.
Now, I want to talk about the characters. Again, what fucking characters? There is nobody here that you're going to give half a shit about, because the movie couldn't be bothered to develop it's characters. Sure, you don't have to give them complex backstories, but give me a reason to care about ANY of these characters. And the movie couldn't do that. We have Michael, who is this very shy and very lonely person, who is in love with a girl named Jada. The thing is, Jada already has a boyfriend, who turns out to be a gangster by the name of Lorenzo. Lorenzo and his gang members don't have any real depth to them, outside of the fact that they're gangsters. And they're the ones that accidentally kill Michael, even though the gun shouldn't have had any bullets in them, but I'm not gonna harp on that one too much, more than I already have. Jada has all the personality of dried paint. But, then again, I could also attribute that to just about every character in this movie, such as Jamal, who ends up with Jada after she breaks up with Lorenzo after they accidentally killed Michael. By the way, I want to touch upon that, because everything in this movie doesn't kick off until one year later. And that's where a LOT of problems come in with the writing. First of all, I want to go back to that hobo character I keep bringing up. We first see him back a year ago when he witnesses Michael getting the shit kicked out of him. And we don't see him again until Monique, who's another character that has no personality, is screaming that Killjoy is after her. I have so many questions about this character. For example, when he was together with our main characters holding hands, I was left wondering if this guy was ever a psychic in his life? If he was, then how the hell did he end up being homeless? Better yet, how does he know know about Michael's life, such as being disowned by his peers? How the hell does he know about Michael wanting to be in a relationship with Jada? How does he know about the Killjoy doll that Michael was trying to bring to life in order to kill the people that are with her? Is he, somehow, related to Michael in someway? I was wondering about ALL of this, but...the movie actually provided an answer. Well technically, it's an answer that I got out of it, but still. Do you want to know the answer as to how the hell the hobo knows all of this? I'm gonna answer it in 4 words: Fuck you, it's magic. I am not kidding. THAT is the answer that the movie discreetly tried to give out. Because the hobo literally is just magic! I guess, MAYBE, he was just a messenger from God or something. However , that's just the christian equivalent to fuck you, that's why. He's literally only here to move the "story" forward. Because our main characters are so fucking shallow and shit that they couldn't do it themselves. And big spoiler, in case you give a shit, the hobo literally disappears through "magic" and goes back to wherever the hell he came from. Come to think of it, he didn't even get a fucking name, but that could also add to the many things that were completely unnecessary about this character.
Going back to the writing, though, there's one thing that really bugged the shit out of me. And it has to do with our character Michael. I talked about what little character depth he had in this movie, what with him having a thing for Jada and all. But I want to talk about the Killjoy doll that he was trying to bring back to life through some black magic. First of all, and this is just a minor thing, but the idea of Michael being into black magic was something that could've been expanded upon. I mean, as much as I didn't like "Tamara", at least there, they were trying to make the main character of Tamara interesting involving black magic. Probably would've been better if she didn't end up becoming a mary-sue with her powers, but I'm not gonna get into that here. Now going back to that Killjoy doll, Michael tries to resurrect it by having candles surrounding him and raising the doll in the air by repeatedly chanting "Come to life, Killjoy" or something like that. I don't exactly remember what he said, but I knew he wanted to bring Killjoy to life. Now Michael never fully completed this ritual because he ended up getting shot by accident from Lorenzo. But here's where my problems come in with that doll. You see, the hobo explains to our 3 main characters that Killjoy came to life at an unexpected time and started killing people. Would've been better if they showed that instead of Lorenzo and two his gang members, because they were already killed by him before the movie decided to pad itself out, but whatever. I have a big question about that doll. Was that doll just sitting in Michael's apartment the entire year AFTER Michael was killed? And if that is the case, then are you telling me that NOBODY decided to clean out his apartment after he was killed? And furthermore, was this movie trying to tell us that nobody decided to move into Michael's apartment for the ENTIRE year after his death? I'm sorry, guys, but I find that really hard to believe. I'm not someone who's an expert on apartments, but usually, nobody waits an entire year until someone moves into an empty apartment. Usually, at most, it would be, maybe, a few months. But an entire year?! I'm sorry, guys, but there's this thing called the "suspension of disbelief". And you can only suspend that for so long until a movie like this starts to insult your intelligence. And this movie was already doing that the moment it decided to jump to one year later. But what also bothers me is Killjoy himself. We never see Killjoy come to life. We first see him when he occupies an ice cream truck. Where and when did he get that? Who fucking knows? Also, going back to the hobo character, what the fuck was he doing the entire year after Michael's death? Did he just decide to take a year off and go back to some spirit world and dick around until he decided "You know what, I'm gonna go warn three 3 worthless characters and tell them how to kill Killjoy."? Seriously, that fucking hobo character bothers the shit out of me the more that I think about him.
Guys, the writing in this movie is absolutely abysmal on every single level. There is nothing here, in terms of writing, that I would even consider passable. The characters are all shit, and there are fucking plot holes that you could feed a whale with and still not fill it's appetite. This is one of the WORST written horror movies that I've seen in a LONG god damn time. And when you consider that I had sit through shit like "The Item", that is saying a lot. Do I think it's the absolute worst horror movie? No, but I'm gonna save that for when I get to recommendations. For now, let's get to the acting. The acting is fucking terrible from almost the entire cast. The only two who even try in this movie is the actor playing Lorenzo. Which isn't really saying much, considering that his character is just a gangster, and nothing else. The only other actor that marginally tries is the actor playing our villain Killjoy. According to the credits, he is played by someone named Angeles Vargas. And I say he marginally tries, because some of his acting was kinda shit, too. If there's one thing in this movie you will get sick of hearing from Killjoy, it's his fucking laugh. I swear to God that it is one of the most irritating laughs I've ever heard from any villain ever. And this laugh has nowhere near the charm of someone like Freddy Krueger or The Joker, where from them, those laughs comes very naturally. Killjoy's laugh is, not only irritating to listen to, it's also forced, as well. Every time that I heard him laugh, I almost have to cringe, because it is just so fucking irritating to listen to. But...regardless of that, the acting from him is passable. As for everyone else, nobody here tried. Which I guess makes sense, considering that the script they were given was filled with dogshit to begin with.
Special effects...oh dear god, the special effects. There's only one positive I will give, when it comes to the special effect, and that is the makeup effects that are applied to Killjoy. It really does make him standout as a really creepy-looking clown. But when it comes to his kills...not so much. The special effects, during his kills, are all cheap and shit. Now I understand that this movie was filmed on a low budget, but I've seen low budget horror movies that actually fucking tried with it's kills. This has none of that. The worst kill comes when Killjoy ends up killing Lorenzo. Lorenzo ends up shooting Killjoy multiple times with his pistol. And then afterwards, Killjoy returns the favor by opening his mouth and you just see white lights coming out of his mouth as he's shooting back at Lorenzo. And as Lorenzo's getting shot, you can see a bunch of red dots just popping in and out from his body. The effects for it were cheap and horrible. In fact, even though I already kinda gave this away early on, this movie's special effects got progressively worse as the film went on. It's a fucking feat, in of itself, to actually accomplish something like that, but this movie did just that. And that is incredibly depressing to see. The only thing, like I said, that kinda saves the special effects are the pretty decent makeup effects on Killjoy. And also the costuming on him looked fine, too. But everything else, no. The sets involving Killjoy's fun-house are also shit. Mainly because, it just looks like it was filmed inside of a warehouse. Which it probably was, but they could've done much better with the sets involving his fun-house.
Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is decent. The sound-mix here is fine. The music is shit. Like, there's nothing here involving the score that's considered good. A lot of it is just lame hip-hop shit that sounds fucking terrible. And before anyone asks, no, I don't hate hip-hop music. In fact, I really enjoy hip-hop as long as it sounds decent. Here though, the score they used for the hip-hop sounds like shit. And there's really nothing else involving music that I can talk about, because it all sounds like forgettable shit.
So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Killjoy"? Absolutely fucking not! This piece of shit is unwatchable from start to fucking finish. And considering that this is the FIRST "Killjoy" movie, I am almost dreading going into the sequels. However, I am going to give them a chance, because they COULD actually get better. And I'm really hoping that they do, because there is no way in hell that they could actually get worse than the first movie, right? Well...they could, but I'm still gonna hold out hopes for them. Because you can only go up from here, right? Anyway...as for this first movie, avoid it at every cost. This movie was shit. It may not be as bad as shit like "The Item", but it sure as hell comes close. I hated everything about this movie. And I just hope that the sequels are, at least, more watchable than this fucking thing was. Now...I'm gonna go watch a GOOD movie involving killer clowns. I'm gonna go watch "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". Because I NEED to cleanse myself after watching this fucking abomination.
Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.
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