Reaction & Review | Terror Eyes

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be checking out a horror anthology film from 1989. That movie is "Terror Eyes".

Now, I'm gonna be honest with you, guys, I know almost nothing about this movie. When I first discovered it a while back, probably about a half year ago, the first thing that caught my attention about it was the title. I just thought that title sounded kinda cheesy, yet sorta cute at the same time, what with it being a pun on the word "terrorize". So I put it on my backlog of movies to cover for this series, and I didn't think much else about it since.

But about a month or so back, my interest about it was caught again when I was figuring out what to cover after my 100th episode. So when I finally decided to look up the scant bit of information on this movie, the only things that I knew about it were it's title, and the fact that it was a horror anthology film. Now, I should mention that my history with anthology films have been very positive, because I haven't run into a bad anthology film as of yet. Most of my experiences with anthology films have come from animated movies. I'm talking about stuff such as "Memories", "Robot Carnival", and "Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam". The only live-action anthology film that I can recall seeing was "Chillerama". In fact, I kinda make it a habit to watch "Chillerama" every October around Halloween. So yeah, I really do enjoy anthology films, even though the list for them has been very short in my case.

And I can imagine, just based off the cover for this movie, that it's going to be a cheesy B movie. And as some of you probably know, I really enjoy B movies, so this thing could easily be on par with something like "Chillerama". I'm just hoping and praying that it's not gonna intentionally aim for that stupid title of 'so bad, it's good'. I just want it to be entertaining on a fun, cheesy level. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this thing is entertaining at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Terror Eyes".

8 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm just gonna say this now. The acting, at least in this first story, is ridiculously wooden. And yet, at the same time...it's a little bit charming, as well. I'm kinda hoping that it's gonna make this story more interesting to watch.

4 minutes later

Whoa, wait a second, time out! Did this guy just say that this book, The Book of Life, was his book, even though he's NEVER written it? If that's true, then why are you making changes to a book that you don't technically own? I could maybe understand if it was his name that was on the front cover, and it was written by him, then it would make sense. But the very fact that he's wanting to change it, mainly for the ending, is a little bit strange to me.

10 minutes later

OK, you know what, as cool and as creepy as this is with our two main characters being, I guess, affected by the book's magic, I'm sorta curious as to what it meant when it said that Troy was gonna die due to self-inflicting pain? So far, this story hasn't really explained that, and I'm kinda hoping that it does by the time this story's over. Oh.....and Troy's face is now half-melted. I will say that the effects for it looked really good, especially for a low budget film. So, at least, there is that.

19 minutes later

Well, guys, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we're finally getting to the second story of this anthology film. Bad news? It took the movie almost 20 minutes to get to this second story, especially considering that the movie itself has about less than 50 minutes to go. I'm beginning to question how bad the pacing really is for this movie. Certainly hoping that the second story is gonna make up for that lost time, but I fear that it might be too little, too late.

10 minutes later

So our second story is just some guy going through the same events again and again until he gets it right? Guys, I've seen this concept done better in an episode of "Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue". Here, it's boring as shit. At least, so far. Kinda hoping it gets better, but I'm not having much faith in that happening.

2 minutes later

Wait, so the guy who killed this loan shark's wife was standing in the dark the whole time waiting to shoot Mannie? Mind you, he was standing next to her dead body when this guy did this. Were they, like, waiting there for someone to discover them so that they can shoot whoever discovers the dead woman first? Is this mysterious person the one who is causing Mannie to go through the same events on repeat? Guys, I have so many questions about this second story, and I don't think it's going to offer an explanation for ANY of it. And that really bothers me.

7 minutes later

Thank Christ, that second story is fucking done. And I called that ending, too. That ending was predictable as shit!

6 minutes later

So this game company literally has a video game where you get awarded points for how many kills and rapes you get. You know what? After that bullshit second story, this is probably one of the more creative things I've seen this entire movie. It's weird and it's fucked up, but still, at least it's creative.

12 minutes later

You know, guys, I am rather shocked that this third story is ACTUALLY really interesting. I am really invested in what's going on here. I just wish all of this was in a better movie, and not stitched together in this lame, bullshit anthology film. It really saddens me to say that, but it's fucking true, guys.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Terror Eyes". That ending was really fucking stupid. I'm just gonna shut the movie off...OK. Dear lord, where do I begin...? So, do you guys happen to remember my little comment earlier about how, before going into this movie, that I hadn't run into a bad anthology film as of yet? Well...I think I may have jinxed that pretty badly. Um...yeah, this movie sucked. Where the hell do I even begin?

Before I talk about the stories themselves, I'm gonna start with pacing. Now, as I stated before I watched this movie, I hadn't seen a whole lot of anthology films. But the one thing I noticed with all of the ones that I had seen is that they usually know when to get to the next story. When they want to get to point A to point B, they do it in a seamless fashion with almost no interruptions. Now, mind you, I'm basing that from the animated anthology films that I watched, but you get my point. I guess I should probably compare this with "Chillerama", since it's the only live-action anthology film that I've watched. Do you want to know the big difference between how "Chillerama" handles their story transitions and how "Terror Eyes" handles theirs? Well, the big difference is that "Chillerama" got to the fucking point. It didn't need to spend so much time trying to get to their second story. At most, it took about 5-10 minutes to get to the second story, and that was it. And they also had some interesting bits going on during those intermissions whenever they weren't showcasing their stories. Mind you, "Chillerama" wasn't a great movie, but it certainly was a fun movie at best. And, like I said, they knew when to get to the point. "Terror Eyes", however, takes almost 20 minutes to get to it's second story, and that is bullshit! Because between the ending of the first story, and the beginning of the second story, we have almost nothing going on throughout that time. All that happened was that our characters were getting together on this camping trip for the weekend, and they spend a good portion of that 20 minutes setting up their camp. It's just them doing that, and getting together around the campfire. Oh, and Eva's boyfriend, Richard, also leaves at one point to go and take a piss in the woods. And he "dies" after the devil kills him with his smoke. And if you're wondering why I put the quotations on the word 'die'...well, you're just gonna have to watch the film for yourself, because it ties in to that shitty ending. But anyway, after he "dies", the devil takes form of Richard's body, and he goes on this weird, WEIRD tangent about how Eva doesn't have an idea on what to write for her horror movie. By the way, this film's framing device is centered around Eva, our main character, trying to figure out what to write for her horror movie, thus is the reason why her friends are tossing out ideas based on their own stories. So that's where the framing device comes from. But seriously, the pacing in this movie is just horrible. And our characters are all pretty shallow and lifeless. However, for B movie standards, I can give some of that lack of character depth a pass here.

While I'm on the subject of pacing, I'm gonna talk about the worst story in this entire anthology film. And it's the second story, which is entitled "Perfect Alibi". Holy shit, this story is fucking garbage! And one of the big reasons why it's garbage is because of it's predictably. Right from the word go, I could tell you where this story was going to end up. So our main character, Mannie, is in trouble, because he needs to pay off some money to either his boss or a loan shark, the movie doesn't really explain who Mannie has to pay off. But anyway, he has instructions on how to get the money by cracking open a safe in which it holds valuable jewelry. He tries to do that, but ends up forgetting the combination, thus he's fucked. He then notices a woman in the next room, dead, and he takes off before the police could get there. And so he goes through this underground room that leads him back to the theater. And through some bullshit magic involving these mirrors he finds, it takes him back in time through the moments before he meets up with his boss at a bar. And from then on, the story ends up becoming this predictable garbage that I knew it was going to go. Guys, I haven't seen this much predictably since the last time I watched anything involving WWE's current product. Where they would end up booking their shit months in advance, and none of it comes as a real surprise, because you know the ending to it. And that's what I feel about "Perfect Alibi". There is nothing about this second story that is surprising or different. It's predictable and it's boring as shit, too. Like I said earlier, I've seen this concept of a character going through the same events on repeat done better in that one episode of "Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue". Mind you, it was predictable, but it wasn't boring, unlike this shit. And you know what? This second story wouldn't have been so bad, if not for two things. One, the story wasn't the same old predictable bullshit. And two, the fucking pacing wasn't absolutely horrible. How bad is the pacing for this story, you might ask? Well, it takes roughly 20 minutes to tell it's story. Which is funny, considering that it also took almost 20 minutes to get to this actual story. That's how horrible the pacing this story, and this movie, really is.

So, what about the other two stories for this anthology? How do they fare? Well, our first story, which was entitled "Book of Life", is about our two main characters receiving this book from some guy, who is a part of the Book of Life club. And this book contains every bit of detail about Troy and Starla's life from the past and future. About how they were married, and about how Troy was cheating on her with some other girl, and it even involves words that they have used, and are currently using. An example would be when Starla is reading words to Troy that he's currently saying to her such as "Put the book down", or how he calls her a stupid klutz, she also repeats that as well. And all of that would've been great...if we could actually see the contents of the actual book. But the movie doesn't do that, because we're just suppose to take these words from our main characters as if they're really repeating them from the book. So it comes across as being a little bit lazy. At least, to me, it does. Also, I find it kinda odd that Starla ends up pulling a 180 on the book when she's fascinated to know what their future holds, and then all of a sudden she is weirded out when the book explains how Troy will die by committing suicide. It's like, is she interested in the book or not? So, that also was a bit weird. The story itself had potential, but it still kinda fell flat for me. The third story, however, which is called "Snake Eyes" is actually really interesting. So, the third story involves our main character, Alex, getting trapped in a game world by our villain Mr. Rubinstein. And she has to go through these death-defying challenges within a very short amount of time before she dies. Basically, I want you to take the concept of the "Saw" movies and mix it up with "Arcade", and this is what you get. The only differences is that there are no traps that are on the same level as the ones from the "Saw" movies, and you're not necessarily trapped in a video arcade game like the one in "Arcade". And you know what the funny thing is? It was right towards the ending of "Snake Eyes" that I realized that the main character is named Alex, who also had the same name as our main character from the movie "Arcade". I just thought it was sort of a funny coincidence. However, I also have to remember that this movie came out a few years before "Arcade" did. I don't know if Charles Band got the concept of "Arcade" from this particular story when he was making that film, but it's not something that I'm going to think about too hard. Anyway, this third story was actually pretty good. It wasn't amazing, but it certainly was better than the other two stories that were a part of this anthology film. Unfortunately, 1 out of 3 stories is not a good batting average for any anthology film. At least, an anthology film with only 3 stories. Some have more than that, but that's beside the point. Point is, there's no way I'm gonna be watching this film again for that third story, because the other two stories were just that terrible, and the movie overall just sucked in general.

So, I may as well just state that the writing in this movie is just terrible. And that's saying a lot, coming from someone who likes B movies. Now, what about the acting? Well, I would say that the acting ranges from being wooden to rather hammy. And the hammiest performance comes from the actor playing Richard, AKA the devil. And he is just hamming up his performance so much that it actually made me kinda despise it. Normally, guys, I love hammy acting. But this shit was just too much, even for me. And it kinda ruined his performance slightly, because I could tell that the actor playing Richard/the devil was trying to make it funny, but that shit has to happen naturally. And unfortunately, his performance didn't feel natural. At least, to me, it didn't. As for the rest of the cast, well, like I said, most of them sound rather wooden. And in Eva's case, her acting was kinda shit. But then again, I also have to consider that most B movies don't have the best acting in the world. And I've seen far worse acting from B movies before, so I'm gonna give some of this kinda shit acting a bit of a pass. Well, save for the actor playing Richard/the devil.

Special effects, however, are actually pretty decent. There's not a whole lot of blood in this movie, admittedly, but what little blood effects are here do work rather well. Makeup effects on our devil are decent, for what little time his appearance was in the movie. And I will also say that there were two shots in "Book of Life" that were actually really good. Both of those shots involve half of Troy's face melted off, and that looked really, really good. And that's saying a lot, especially when you consider the low budget that this movie was running on. Even though that first story wasn't great, the special effects in that story were really good, and they were the one thing that kinda saved that story slightly. Overall, special effects in this movie are pretty good.

There's two things I need to talk about involving camerawork. The first thing I need to mention is that, on a few occasions, there are some shots where we get to see the devil's POV. And those shots were filmed using a fisheye lens. For those who don't know, a fisheye lens is kinda like a wide-angle camera, where the lens are used to make things look weird and distorted. And that's what they use for some of these shots involving the devil's POV. They kinda drop this angle about almost halfway into the movie after Richard "dies", and it was probably for the best, because the fisheye lens kinda got old pretty quick. The other bit involving camerawork I need to talk about is during "Snake Eyes". Because throughout that third story, the entire thing was shot on video. And, for the most part, it looks fine, except for some shots that have this yellow and green tint on the camera lens, and it looks ugly as shit! Especially knowing when you see some characters looking more yellow or green than they need to be. I have no idea what kind of a camera they were using when filming this story, but it kinda ruined the story a bit because of how ugly some of these shots were. I kinda wished they would've used a different camera, and it might've helped that story looked a little bit better. Again, that third story was really good, but it could've been filmed better with a different camera. Lighting here is OK, minus the yellow and green tint I just talked about. Sound-mix...oh dear god, the sound-mix. There's one scene in this movie where it showed that the people in charge of the sound-mix did not fucking care. It happens right after the second story, "Perfect Alibi", ends. Our characters are sitting around the campfire talking. And throughout this scene, the sound changes each time the camera focuses on a different character. In one shot, you will hear a lot of noise. And in the next shot, you will hear nothing...the next shot sounds kinda loud...and then it's very loud with the next shot...then kinda loud...and it's all quiet...and it's loud again...and then back to silence. Guys, the sound-mix in that scene was absolutely atrocious. And the half-fucking retarded chimp who was in charge of the sound just did not fucking care during that scene. I don't care how many people were in charge of the sound-mix for this movie. That shit was WAY too noticeable, even for me, who is kinda bound to notice small details such as that. But again, that was not a small detail, because even someone who would watch this movie casually would notice this shit without even trying. And it's all because the people who were in charge of the sound were too fucking lazy to get off their asses and try to fix that shit! Jesus Christ...I'm sorry, guys, but that shit got to me more than it should've.

Anyway, our score in this movie is decent. I didn't recall hearing any piece of music that sounded out of place, so I can certainly say that the score here works fine for this kind of movie. Overall, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Terror Eyes"? No. I really can't, because 2 out of the 3 stories here sucked. And even though that third story was pretty good, it would've looked better if they had used a different camera for that story. The second story is absolute garbage, thanks to it's predictability. And the first story is OK, but it could've been a lot better. Guys, I really can't recommend this movie, unless if you're a fan of B movies. But I've seen B movies that were a lot better than this, both on a technical level, and in terms of content. And in terms of anthology films, this is easily the worst I've seen out of all of them. I was hoping for it to be fun on a cheesy level. And while I got a little bit of fun out this movie, everything else was just shit on top of shit. And that's what "Terror Eyes" ultimately is. It's just a shitty anthology film, and I'm rather disappointed that it turned out that way. Oh man...um...I think I'm gonna go watch a better anthology film. And I kinda want to go and watch "Memories" again. It has been a while since I last saw that movie, so I'm gonna do just that.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | A Troll in Central Park

 

Welcome, one and all, to the 100th episode of Reaction & Review! Holy shit, guys...100 episodes. That is something that I thought I would never get to say when I started doing this series. But somehow, someway, I managed to get to this milestone, and I am fucking proud of myself for making it this far. And I want to thank you all for, at least, checking out these reviews. Regardless of how many views these movie reviews get, I am thankful for you guys that have stuck around so far.

So, I should probably explain something before we go any further. Last week on my previous Reaction & Review, I had talked about a tournament that I did back in November involving 8 movies that would be competing against each other to see what would get covered for episode 100. But because of the lack of votes, I had to cancel it. But since at least 2 of the 8 movies got 1 vote, I would put them as a higher priority by making them episodes 99 and 100. And between the two movies that tied with each other, I had to pick which one of these two movies that would end up becoming episode 100. And to be honest, it wasn't really a hard decision. Because I figured that this movie would be the perfect choice for episode 100. And so, for tonight's 100th episode, I'm gonna be covering an animated film from 1994. And it is from legendary animation director Don Bluth. That movie is "A Troll in Central Park".

I'd like to start by saying that I have been a fan of Don Bluth almost my entire life. And out of his entire filmography, not counting the stuff he did while working over at Disney, his animated shorts, or his interactive video games, this is only one of two films from him that I have never seen. And as much as I'd like to say that I'm looking forward to watching this movie, because, after all, it is from Don Bluth, that would be kind of a lie. Because I've heard almost NOBODY saying anything positive about this movie. In fact, out of all of the movies that Bluth put out, not only is this considered the worst movie that he released in the 90's, this is also the worst movie he's ever put out...ever. So, I'm being a little bit cautious going into this movie, mainly because of it's horrible reputation.

Now, while I am going into this movie with a bit of precaution, I also have to consider some of the stuff I've seen Bluth put out in the 90's. I would look at a couple of his films such as "Anastasia" and "Titan A.E.", and I consider those movie to be pretty good, if kinda flawed. I also have to remember that I watched "Thumbelina", which is quite possibly the biggest pile of shit that I've seen Bluth put out. But then there's movies such as "Rock-A-Doodle", which I absolutely adored, because it was such a fun movie to watch. In fact, I've seen "Rock-A-Doodle" many, MANY times, both as a kid and as an adult, and I still watch it to this day. So, Bluth can put out really good films, even if they're not as well received as his work from the 80's. Though, personally speaking, I would consider "Rock-A-Doodle" to be as good as most of his 80's films. But that's just me being rather biased.

So, I'm hoping for "A Troll in Central Park" to, at least, be watchable. I am not asking for it to be good, because, again, of it's horrible reputation. But I'm also hoping for this thing to be better than, say, "Thumbelina". Because, as I stated earlier, "Thumbelina" just flat out sucked balls. So if this movie can accomplish that much, then it's already won me over. But overall, I just want to see if thing is, in any way, watchable. And the only way I'm gonna find that answer, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further do, ladies and gentlemen, for the 100th time, it is time to kick back, relax, and let's check out "A Troll in Central Park".

5 minutes later

Wait, so let me if I understand this. So Stanley grew a huge flower just now, which is causing the troll guards to go and inform the queen. Yet, just a couple of minutes ago, Stanley was already caught when a different troll guard saw a flower being grown from his magic thumb. And in that latter scenario, that troll guard just 'thought' he saw a flower and does nothing about it. I'm just going to assume the queen hired a really retarded troll guard, and it makes me question why she even hired him in the first place?

3 minutes later

You know, guys, I will say that, while the story hasn't really gone anywhere yet, this song here sung by our villain, Gnorga, is not too bad. I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this villain song here is pretty decent. So, at least, that's sort of a positive.

16 minutes later

All right, so I have a question, and I might regret asking this later. But is anything interesting gonna happen in this movie? Like, at all? So far, this movie's pacing has been kinda glacial, and I'm not really sure if it's going to pick up soon. I'm certainly hoping that it does. But, as of right now, I kinda have my doubts.

18 minutes later

Guys, I know I briefly mentioned this earlier, but the music in this movie is actually really good. OK granted, the songs aren't amazing, but it's certainly one of the things that is holding this movie together. Everything else in terms of story is kinda shit, and the pacing is still a bit glacial, and yeah...this movie kinda sucks. But...so far, it's still not the worst thing from Bluth that I've seen.

6 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a stupid question here. So, Gnorga has the power to destroy Central Park, as we've just seen. If that's the case, then why didn't she do that right AFTER they banished Stanley to Central Park? You would think that if she wanted Stanley to be miserable forever, don't you think that destroying Central Park first would've solidified his misery, thus he wouldn't be happy and be able to grow flowers with his magic thumb? I don't know, perhaps maybe I'm just putting a little too much common sense into a children's film.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "A Troll in Central Park". That was a bit of a strange way to end the film, but, oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna shut the movie off...OK. So...what do I start with first? Well, I guess I can start by saying that, going into this movie, it had a horrible reputation of being classified as the worst film Don Bluth and Gary Goldman ever made. And I'm including Goldman in this, because he was the co-director for this movie alongside Bluth. So, when I heard about how horrible this movie was, I was expecting the worst. I was expecting a whole lot of bad things from this movie. But instead...what I got, overall, was an OK movie. It's certainly not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Mind you, it could've been better. My god, it could've been a LOT better. But it sure as hell could've been a lot worse, too. So, you know what? It surpassed my expectations on that end. I was expecting the absolute worst, but I, instead, got a passable children's film.

Speaking of which, before I start this review, I want to start with something that might seem a little bit unprecedented. And I feel the need to address this issue that I have. You see, I've noticed something, in particular, with people who only review animation. Now, I when mention animation, I'm excluding TV shows. Because most people I see in that regard, if not all of them, are just man-children who still bitch about children's cartoon shows in their 20's and 30's. Instead, I'm only gonna be focusing on the ones who exclusively review animated movies aimed towards children. You see, a lot of reviewers I see, mostly on DeviantArt, usually would have a very cookie-cutter style of reviewing. One style, in particular, that I've seen is that somebody would review a children's movie, and they would usually summarize a movie's plot, some in particular would spoil an ENTIRE movie scene by scene, give out their quick lists of pro's and con's, and call it a fucking review. Now, I am not going to question that style of reviewing. Because if that's how some people want to review a movie, that is totally their choice. However, what I've noticed with a lot of people who only review animated movies, whether it's on DeviantArt, YouTube, or whatever, the one thing I've noticed from a lot of these reviewers is that I see almost NOBODY ever try to recommend it for children. Because, whether you liked a children's/family film or not is one thing. However, if you are reviewing a children's film, would you say that a child would like this movie that's aimed towards them? If so, say yes. Or if not, then why not? And I'll give you guys a couple of examples. Even though I didn't care for movies such as "Catnapped!" or "TMNT" back when I reviewed them, I was still able to recommend them for children because, well, children wouldn't notice any of the issues that I had with them. And the same is going to be applied for "A Troll in Central Park". Now, mind you, while I am going to discuss the problems that I had with this movie, I'm still going to consider children in mind for when I get to recommendations, because this IS a children's film, and I have to consider almost every possibility for recommending a movie. But my point in all of this is that more reviewers, specifically those who only review children's animated films, should try to, at least, recommend it for children.

So, with that all out in the open, let's finally talk about the movie itself, shall we? I'm gonna start with writing. I've noticed something with this movie, when compared to other Don Bluth films, that is sorely missing. And that something is known as high stakes. Now in order for me to explain this, I need to compare this with other stories from most of Bluth's movies that came out before this one. In "The Secret of NIMH" Mrs. Brisby was trying to find a cure for her son, because he had pneumonia. And also, she was trying to help the experimentally mutated rats move away from the farm and try to get to Thorn Valley, so that they can live independently instead of stealing human technology to survive. It's a bit of a complicated story there, but it still worked. In the cases of "An American Tail" and "The Land Before Time", both movies had similar plots in where the children get separated from their families, and they had to go through a perilous journey in order to reunite with their parents. "All Dogs Go To Heaven" didn't necessarily have high stakes for, like, the first 3rd of the movie. Because most of that first 3rd was just Charlie getting revenge against Carface, after Carface killed Charlie because he didn't want to share money with him. And most of that first 3rd was just Charlie and Itchy trying to build a bigger and better casino to outdo Carface's casino. Now it wouldn't get serious until the character of Anne-Marie gets involved, and the movie takes a bit of a dark turn from there. I'm not going to spoil the rest of it for the few of you who haven't seen that movie yet. In "Rock-A-Doodle", Chanticleer had left the farm after getting into a fight with one of the Grand Duke's thugs, because the sun came up without him. And the animals on the farm thought that his crowing never really did cause the sun to come up, thus they called him a fake. Well, it turns out that his crowing actually DID raise the sun, and the animals wanted Chanticleer to come back to the farm to apologize to him and help raise the sun again. Otherwise, the entire farm will forever be flooded, and quite possibly the world with it. Again, it's a bit of a complicated story there, but it still worked. So, all of those movies, in some way, shape, or form, had some level of high stakes added to it. And it kept the viewers engaged on what they were trying to tell with their stories.

Unfortunately, I cannot say that about this movie. This movie almost borders on plotless. Which is rather shocking, because I genuinely thought that there was going to be more of a story here. However, that is not the case. The most I can garner out of all this is that our main villain, Gnorga, banishes our main character, Stanley, from the Kingdom of Trolls because he's not acting in the way that most trolls are in that kingdom. He's kind, he loves flowers, plants, he basically loves everything that is nice and happy. Which pisses Gnorga off, because she's the exact opposite of Stanley. She likes people that are miserable, in pain, or in suffering. She was going to turn Stanley into stone at first, but the king instead suggests that they banish him to a place where he would feel misery and that nothing would grow, thus leading him to more misery and suffering. That place, of course, being Central Park. Now, two things I want to bring up involving this plan of his. The first thing is that he thinks Central Park wouldn't be a place to grow flowers and such. Now admittedly, I've only been to New York City once in my lifetime, and I've never set foot in Central Park. But, last time I checked, Central Park is considered one of the biggest parks in all of the U.S. And if I'm not mistaken, most of Central Park is FILLED grass and trees. So I'm pretty sure they were, unintentionally, doing Stanley a favor by banishing him to a place where he can continue to grow flowers and other plants from his magic thumb. Plus, the king also mentioned that Central Park would also have stuff such as steel and stone, and that it would also add to the misery for Stanley. But again, I want to reiterate this: Central Park has tons and tons of grass and trees. The only things you would find there with stone and steel is stuff like benches, lanterns, sidewalks, and bridges. Other than that, Stanley would have a whole field to work with, so I don't see why banishing him to Central Park was a good idea in the first place. Also, and I brought this up earlier on, Gnorga has the power to destroy most of Central Park by being a tornado of sorts. And the thing about that is that it totally worked. But what I still want to know is why didn't she think about doing that first after she banished Stanley to Central Park? That way, Stanley would be subjected to the loneliness of pain and misery. Now, you could write that theory off as Gnorga not being aware of what Central Park is because the king, somehow, is the only one who knows about Central Park and he had to tell her about it. Well, it still would've made sense for her to go "Oh, and by the way, I'm also going to destroy Central Park, just to make sure I get to hear his lovely cries of pain and misery." You know, something like that.

While I'm on the subject of Gnorga, I want to talk about the characters. Gnorga is just a straight-up cartoon villain. And I know that's gonna sound obvious, being that this movie IS a cartoon after all. But what I mean by that is that Gnorga is not really that much of a threat, and ends up being more silly than serious. Now, I'm gonna compare her with the Grand Duke of Owls from "Rock-A-Doodle". Both are very similar in being silly and rather cartoonish. But the difference between Gnorga and the Grand Duke of Owls is that the Grand Duke can actually back his shit up. He wanted to make sure that the animal heroes didn't reach Chanticleer in the big city. He wanted to make sure that Chanticleer didn't want to go back to the farm by being persuaded to not go back. Mind you, it wasn't the Grand Duke himself that was persuading him, it was more so the fox that was Chanticleer's manager that was doing the dirty work. But anyway, the Grand Duke was actually threatening when he needed to be. Plus also, he had some level of charm and personality that made that character work so well. While admittedly, Gnorga does have a little bit of charm to her character, it feels kinda wasted because she doesn't end up becoming threatening right up until she destroys a good portion of Central Park and kidnaps Rosie. But even by then, it was just too little too late, and I just kinda stopped caring about her towards the end of the movie. As for our two child characters, Gus and Rosie, they really don't have much depth to them. Now in Rosie's case, it makes sense. Because she's, like, a 1 year old. And you're really not expecting depth from a 1 year old child. As for Gus, he's mostly just a brat towards his sister, and he's kind of annoying and obnoxious. But then again, as I made mention in my review of "Mirai", a lot children are like that around that age. So, I can kinda give both of our main child characters a bit of a pass when it comes to character depth. Now in regards to Stanley, our main troll character, I've heard from a lot of people that have seen this movie say that Stanley is incredibly unlikable, and that he's one of the worst main characters from any Don Bluth movie. And I'm not totally sure why. OK, I can kinda see him being unlikable towards the climax of the movie. Such as when, on two separate occasions, he pussies out because he thinks that Gnorga is too powerful and that he can't do anything to stop her. Even when Gus goes to Stanley and asks for his help in trying to rescue his baby sister from Gnorga, Stanley still says that he doesn't have the power to stop her. To which Gus calls him a coward because Stanley doesn't believe that he can do it, or some shit like that. So, I can kinda see why some people would think that. Also, I've heard some people say that Stanley is annoying. But honestly, I didn't really find that. Maybe at times he was kind of annoying, but it was very few and far between for me.

So, I can honestly say that, when it comes to the writing, this is easily one of the weakest films from Don Bluth and Gary Goldman. And mind you, I'm saying that it's weak by the standards of a Don Bluth film. But yeah, this film's writing is certainly nowhere near the amount of quality I've seen from previous Bluth films before this one. So, what about the acting? Well, you know what? Even though the writing here is definitely weak, the acting is great. Like, everyone here turns in a pretty good showing. And I'm going to assume that they got actual child actors to voice Gus and Rosie. And if that is the case, then they do a pretty decent job here, too. At least, with what they had to work with. They also managed to bring back the late-great Dom Deluise for the role of Stanley. For those who don't know, Dom Deluise had a hand in most of Bluth's films from the 80's, in terms of voiceovers, such as "The Secret of NIMH", "An American Tail", and "All Dogs Go To Heaven". And while I will say that his performance in this movie is nowhere near his best work in the films that I just mentioned, it's still pretty fucking good. And I enjoy almost anything with Dom Deluise in a voiceover role. And one more mention has to go Cloris Leachman as our villain Gnorga. Even though Gnorga's charm disappeared throughout most of the entire film for me, Cloris Leachman's performance was the one thing that kinda saved her from being a completely bland villain. So, at least, there is that. So overall, I can say that the acting is pretty good, even though none of it is great.

The animation, however, is fucking amazing. This is one of the things that Don Bluth and Gary Goldman always excel at. No matter the quality of the film, the animation for their movies is just spectacular. Everything in this movie is fluid and moves perfectly. The art style is great, including the backgrounds for certain scenes. The color palettes are very good, and the characters are designed really well, too. But again, this is that same kind of animation charm that I've seen in just about all of Don Bluth's movies. Even in his shittier movies like "Thumbelina", and kinda shit movies like "The Pebble and the Penguin", still had that same animation charm. Granted, the latter film didn't have much of Bluth's involvement, but still, I can kinda, sorta count it. But anyways, the animation is just fantastic, and I loved the look of this film.

Sound-mix here is mixed perfectly. As for the music, it's pretty good, too. Again, this is something that, to me, Don Bluth has almost never failed at, which is bringing in good music. Funny thing about this movie, in particular, is that the music in this movie was done by Robert Folk. And the reason why I bring up his name is because he also did the music for another Don Bluth movie, that being "Rock-A-Doodle". Which I thought was pretty cool. Unfortunately, unlike the songs in "Rock-A-Doodle", which I could still remember to this day, I can't say the same thing about this movie. Now yes, I did say that the music in this movie was pretty good, and it is. However, when compared to "Rock-A-Doodle", I'm probably not going to remember the songs in this movie. The only one I can remember by name was the one sung by Gnorga called "Queen of Mean". But even then, it's not a song that I'm gonna remember by the time I upload this review. However, I will say again that the songs in this movie are still good, and the score here is great. Granted, they play more akin to the happiness theme of this movie, which was something I wasn't too big on to begin with, but at least the music was still good. So, I guess I can't complain about it too much.

Ultimately, guys, when all said is done, can I recommend "A Troll in Central Park"? Um...if you have children below the age of 5. Whether it's children of your own, or if it's a niece or nephew, and you want to show them something that's not the same old tired Disney film...then yes, I can totally recommend it on that end. Because I can totally see children below that age range enjoying this movie with no problems whatsoever. However....any child that is above the age of 5...probably not. By that point, you can probably show a child something else. Maybe a different film from Don Bluth. I don't know, something like "An American Tail", "All Dogs Go To Heaven", or "Rock-A-Doodle". I've heard some people say that "The Secret of NIMH" is too dark for children, but I can still kinda recommend it for slightly older children. As for everyone else, well, I obviously can't recommend this to fans of Don Bluth, because most people have already trashed this thing to high heaven. As for me, yeah, this movie kinda sucks. Now is it the worst movie I've seen from Bluth? No. That honor is probably going to stay with "Thumbelina". And the less I think about that movie the better. At least this movie wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Especially after hearing about how horrible this thing was suppose to be. But to be perfectly honest, I've seen far worse from Bluth. I consider this movie to be on the kinda shit level next to "The Pebble and the Penguin". They both have their fair share of problems, but I kinda see myself watching them every once and a while. I'm not totally sure how that comment is going to age unless if I end up trading it in. Because when I bought "Rock-A-Doodle" on DVD, it came as part of a 2-pack that came with "The Pebble and the Penguin". So, I'm kinda stuck with that movie, mainly because I only bought it for "Rock-A-Doodle". As for "A Troll in Central Park", I bought this movie as a standalone film. So, there's a higher chance of me trading this movie in. But I might give it another watch to see if the charm is still there or not. But regardless, the film isn't great by any stretch of the manner, but it could've been far, far worse. And you know what? I'm kinda in the mood to marathon some of Bluth's movies. I might start with "An American Tail", because it's been a while since I last saw that movie. And I might follow it up with "All Dogs Go To Heaven" and "Rock-A-Doodle" afterwards.

And with that, guys, episode 100 of Reaction & Review comes to a close. Man...just coming this far with this series is nothing short of amazing. And I might end up going another hundred episodes. But we'll see how far I can take this series. For now, though, take care, guys, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Before I get started, I do need to explain something for those of you that are new to this series, and if you're reading this review for the first time. Way back in November, I had put out a tournament involving 8 movies. And the winner of that tournament would be the movie that I would cover for episode 100. Well, to make a long story short, hardly anyone voted in that tournament. And because of that, I had no choice but to end up cancelling it. Now, I'm not gonna blame anyone for not voting. I probably just wasn't expecting it to happen. But anyways, out of the first 4 matches for Round 1, two movies got at least 1 vote. And since they were a tie, I had to decide which of these two movies would be episode 99 and 100. And after doing some thinking, I have made a decision on their placements. So you'll find out what movie I'll be covering next week for episode 100. But as for tonight's movie, being episode 99, I'm gonna be covering a sci-fi action movie from 2008. That movie is "Starship Troopers 3: Marauder".

Now, I have seen the previous two "Starship Troopers" films in this franchise. The first movie was amazing. It was fun, it was funny, it was action packed, it was one of the finest sci-fi movies I had seen in many, many years. And then "Starship Troopers 2" came along and decided to go way off fucking the rails by becoming a bland, boring, bullshit, sci-fi horror movie. Where it had unlikable characters, a story that was boring as shit, and I personally don't believe that it was meant to be a "Starship Troopers" movie. It was probably meant to be something else, but someone decided to slap the "Starship Troopers" name onto it in hopes that it would, in some small way, tie into the lore of the "Starship Troopers" universe.

We're now up to the third movie, and I can tell you everything that I know about it right here. I know that this movie is a direct follow-up from the first movie, because it has the main character, Johnny Rico, returning from the first movie. Which is totally cool, because I really liked Johnny Rico. That, and he's still played by Casper Van Dien. Which is also totally cool to see him back. So we have that going in. I've also heard that this movie has almost no connection with "Starship Troopers 2". If that is the case, then it's probably for the best, because I would've tried to distance myself from "Starship Troopers 2" as far as possible anyways.

Beyond that, I know almost nothing about this movie. I'm hoping for it to be pretty good, but I've also heard people say that the "Starship Troopers" franchise got worse with every sequel after the first movie. Now, I'm not totally sure if that's the case or not. But there is a possibility that they could be right, at least when it comes to this third movie. And if it DOES suck, then I just hope it's not as bad as "Starship Troopers 2" was. But I really won't know if this movie will be any good or not. So the only way I'm gonna find out for myself, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Starship Troopers 3: Marauder".

14 minutes later

You know, guys, it's weird. On one hand, it's rather fucked up to see a public hanging for these war protesters on TV. On the other hand, their enemies ARE the bugs. So I don't exactly know why they would protest against a war involving these bugs that have destroyed a good majority of human life to begin with. So, lesson learned: NEVER protest a war against the bugs. Otherwise, you'll get your 15 minutes of fame via a public hanging. Wow...and me just saying that sounds incredibly fucked up. But I will say, the ad they showed for it early on was kinda funny, so I guess I can't really complain, now can I?

13 minutes later

So, the bugs now have a scorpion in their ranks...I'm gonna say this now, that thing looks really fucking cool. And not only that, but it just shot a Godzilla-like laser from it's tail. I think it's safe to say that the bugs in this movie are just as badass and destructive as they were in the first movie. That is awesome to see!

8 minutes later

You know, guys, I would claim this as shocking, but somehow, I don't think that's too far off, given how some governments are handled in certain countries. And no, I'm not gonna tell you what I'm talking about, you're just gonna have to watch the movie for yourself.

14 minutes later

You know what, guys? I'm really liking how they're spoofing the propaganda in this movie. It's certainly really cool. In fact, this movie has been really good, so far. I'm really enjoying it. OK granted, it's nowhere near as good as the first movie, but it's certainly a massive improvement over "Starship Troopers 2". And that's always a positive in my book.

17 minutes later

Well, I think it's safe to say that Jingo's fate was already sealed when he decided to hide in the "rocks". However, I can't say I feel sorry for him because he was starting to become irritating as shit. So, nothing of value was fucking lost.

5 minutes later

Wait, so this brain bug, the one that I'm going to assume was captured at the end of the first movie, was 'allowed' to be captured so it can pass intelligence? But according to Jenkins from the first movie, who was also psychic, he said that the bug was afraid. So...did Jenkins get it wrong this entire time? Or was the bug lying throughout the 8 years of being contained by the Federation until Anoke came along? I understand I'm probably thinking WAY too deep into this, but it's starting to bug me a little bit...pun intended, of course.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Starship Troopers 3: Marauder", and we're ending the movie with a rather catchy song. You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song is...actually pretty good. Let me shut the movie off...all right. Well, that was interesting, to say the least. So, let's get the obvious question out of the way first. Is this movie better than "Starship Troopers 2"? By a long shot. But, then again, this thing would have to go out of it's way to suck harder than "Starship Troopers 2" did. Now, is this movie as good as the first "Starship Troopers"? No. Hell no. I would rather watch the first movie more often than I would watch the third movie. Mind you, this movie is still pretty good. It's just, compared to the first movie, "Starship Troopers" is in a league of itself. But that's just me, personally speaking, because I loved that first movie so much.

But I'm just stalling at this point, let's get into the writing. And I want to start with something that I feel needs to be known first. Because there are those who might read this, and probably have never seen a "Starship Troopers" film in their life. So, I'm gonna start with how this movie was being presented. Now, prior to going into this movie, I did re-watch the first "Starship Troopers" movie, and I remembered why I enjoyed that film so much. Because instead of just being another standard sci-fi action movie that we've seen many times beforehand, one of the things that made that movie unique was that it was satirizing a ton of genres. It was spoofing military films, propaganda, war films, it was doing all of that. And the movie was never meant to be taken too seriously. Now that isn't to say that the movie didn't have serious moments, but they were still poultry to what that film wanted to be. And it was great. The second film, however, did not do ANY of that. Instead of trying to spoof elements in the sci-fi horror genre, it decided to just be a straight-laced sci-fi horror movie. And it really did not work, because the film had dull, lifeless writing, and characters who all had the depth and personality of dried wood. And, as I stated earlier, it didn't really feel like a "Starship Troopers" movie. Or even a proper sequel to the first "Starship Troopers". And that's why I hated that movie so much, because it took everything that made the first movie work, and stripped away just about all of it's life and personality into something that was considered a husk of waste. We now enter the third movie, and I can tell you right off the bat that this movie is a 'back to basics' film. Basically, "Starship Troopers 3: Marauder" goes back to it's roots in doing what the first movie had done. Which is spoofing propaganda, war films, military films, and that's all back in spades. But they're not just spoofing that. They're also spoofing a new genre, which is religion, which also plays a big factor into this movie. And, for the most part, it works pretty well. Now, is all of it funny? No. But again, I'm mostly comparing that with the spoofing that was done in the first film. Which, to me anyway, I got more of a laugh out of that than I did for this. But that's not to say that this movie isn't funny with it's spoofing. Because some stuff can be potentially really funny, depending on your tastes in humor. For example, if you like dark humor, then you're gonna get a kick out of them airing public hangings on TV for war protesters and such. That shit, to me, was funny. But then again, I am a fan of dark humor, and I know that there are those that aren't into that kind of thing. But still, what is here in terms of spoofing is really good. And I'm glad to see it making a return in this movie, seeing as how it was absent in "Starship Troopers 2".

Now I want touch upon the characters. And I'm gonna start with Johnny Rico. As I made mention earlier, I liked Rico from the first movie, and I was curious to see how much of a role he plays into this third movie. Well...I'm gonna be honest when I say this, I feel like his character was kinda wasted in this film. Because for those of you who never saw the first "Starship Troopers" film, Rico had a lot of his story and character told in that first movie. Granted, most of that was just him trying to become a Citizen because he wanted to impress a girl that he liked. Speaking of which, she doesn't make a return in this movie. In fact, nobody from the first film, outside of Johnny Rico, makes a return in this movie. And I feel like that's somewhat of a missed opportunity to do something more with them interacting with Rico. In fact, Rico doesn't really do much in this movie, other than what he did in the first movie, which was fight the bugs. That, and he also goes on a secret mission, along with 6 other troopers, to go on this desert planet to rescue a small band of deserted troopers that are on a bug planet known as OM-1. And they do so with some new mechs known as the Marauders. By the way, a bit of a spoiler here, we don't see these mechs in action up until VERY late in the film. And I'm talking about an hour and a half into the movie. Which is rather cheap, especially considering that the Marauder name is in the title of the movie itself. But that's really just a minor thing. But getting back to Rico for a second, you could've told this story with ANY other character in Rico's place, and you wouldn't have missed a thing. In fact, the only reason I can think of as to why Rico was even in this movie was because the film needed some star power, thus is the reason why they got back Casper Van Dien to play Johnny Rico again. However, that's just me jumping into the casting. And also, thinking about it now, Rico's story arc was pretty much wrapped up in the first movie. So, I wasn't totally sure what else they could've done with him in this film. And unfortunately, they kinda skimped out on doing anything more with Johnny Rico in this film. But on the flip side of characters, we do get to focus more on our stranded characters such as Captain Lola Beck, along with a few other survivors, including Omar Anoke, who plays a huge factor into this movie, mainly because of the religious focus that this movie hones in on. Now, while I'm on the subject of religion for a moment, I feel like some people might see the religion in this movie as it being rather preachy. But again, I must stress that religion is the main spoof target in this movie. And taking it too seriously might not be something you want to get into. So I do have to warn you there. As for the characters themselves, most of them are developed really well. Again, save for Johnny Rico who didn't have much of anything to work with in terms of enhancing his character from the first movie. You could've replaced his character with someone new, and it wouldn't have changed a thing. And, again, the only reason why he was even in this movie was so that they could get Casper Van Dien to play Rico again as the top star for this movie.

Since I'm on the subject of casting, let's get into the acting. The acting here, for the most part, is really good. A lot of it is that cheesy sort of acting that was in the first movie, and it totally works here. And even though Casper Van Dien didn't have much to work with in this movie, he was still able to play his character as well as he could've. Granted, it's not as good as it was in the first movie. However, for what little he had to work, he was still able to make it work. As for the rest of the cast, most of them, as I just said, turn in really good performances. There was one actress, however, I need to comment on. I don't remember her name, but she was the Lieutenant from very early on in the movie. And she had an accent that I couldn't get a good grasp on. I don't know if she was trying to sound Russian or, maybe, Bulgarian. But the accent REALLY threw me off. So if anyone who has seen this movie, please tell me what accent she was suppose to have. Because it just sounded so weird hearing her speak her lines. So overall, minus one bit of a questionable accent, the acting from the entire cast was really good.

Special effects are really good in most areas. But then again, the first two "Starship Troopers" movies were really heavy on special effects, mostly for stuff such as the bugs and ships. And all of that makes a return here. We got a lot of blood in this movie, which was, again, also in the first two movies. And the blood effects look great. Now when it comes to the CG, most of it is really solid for the ships and most of the bugs. I say 'most' of the bugs, because there are a couple of shots in this movie that make the bugs look very obvious in CG. Now again, the bugs in the first two movies were done in CG, but I felt like those two movies hid it well enough to not make the bugs look too obvious in CG. This movie, at least for a couple of shots, makes the bugs look like they were rendered a little too noticeable in CG. However, I also have to stress that these shots are VERY minor. And almost nobody is going to notice them, save for me, because I have a tendency to notice a lot of smaller details. And a lot of people are not going to notice the few minor shots where the bugs look obvious in CG. But I still think it is worth noting, even if it's very minor. But the rest of the bugs look great. CG is really good in a lot of areas in this movie, and I'd say it's almost as good-looking as it was in the first movie. Again, minor shots and all that almost nobody's going to notice, save for me.

Camerawork here is really good, minus some bits of shaky cam that was in the beginning of the movie when the bugs first start to invade Roku San. However, everything else after that looks great. Lighting here is lit perfectly. Sound-mix is great. The score here is very similar to what you would hear in the first "Starship Troopers" movie. And about the only thing I can mention, in terms of the soundtrack, is the song that was brought up twice in this movie. I believe the song is called "A Good Day To Die", which is the song that Anoke sings towards the beginning of the movie. And the song plays again during the end credits, which is a really good song. And I would totally recommend you give the song a listen to at some point. You can probably find this song on YouTube easily, so go ahead and give it a listen to at some point when you get the chance.

Overall, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Starship Troopers 3: Marauder"? Yeah. I can definitely recommend it, as long as you have seen the first "Starship Troopers" movie. If you've seen the first movie, and not the second, then you skip ahead of that film and jump straight into this third one. Like I said, the second film has barely any connection with the first movie. So you can go straight into this third movie, and you wouldn't miss a thing. And for those who have seen the second movie, and you thought that film sucked balls, then this film definitely goes back to it's roots by doing most of the things that the first movie did, such as spoofing the genres I had mention earlier. Now I should mention again that this movie is nowhere NEAR as good as the first movie, partially because of how Johnny Rico's character was handled in this movie, but it's certainly a fun little flick. And I personally liked it enough to hold onto my copy of it. Now, as for myself...I'm gonna go and watch another fun, cheesy flick. I think I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Planet Terror". Because that, to me, is certainly a fun flick to watch.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of episode 99 of Reaction & Review. Holy shit, guys, we're about to hit the 100th episode...I cannot believe that, but we're just about there. And considering the film that I have planned for that episode, it's gonna be something interesting. But for now, guys, take care, and I will see you all for episode 100 in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Ready or Not

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 2019. That movie is "Ready or Not".

I'm gonna tell you, guys, when I first saw the trailers and ads for this thing back in 2019, I was genuinely excited to check it out. In fact, it was one of those very rare instances where I wanted to go and watch it in theaters. I haven't been to a theater since 2017, because there really wasn't anything that was worth watching in theaters. But when I saw the ads for it being played on, I believe, Adult Swim, I wanted to go to a theater and check it out. Unfortunately, due to various things that went on in my own time, I didn't have the chance to check it out then, and I had heard it was pulled out of theaters really quickly. But thanks to this series, I now have the chance to finally watch it.

Now for those of you who don't know what the plot is to this movie, it's about this woman who is marrying this guy into his family's estate. And she somehow gets roped into playing a deadly game of hide-and-seek. And she has to survive the night in order for her to marry the one she loves. It sounds like a really cool premise, and I'm really hoping that this movie is going to live up to that premise. However, I also have to remember that I have been let down by horror comedies in the past, mostly thanks to this series. So I am prepared for this movie to be a massive turd. I'm hoping that's not the case though. But I really won't know until I sit down and I actually watch this thing. So the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Ready or Not".

10 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a stupid question here. This aunt that's a part of this family, is that, like, a permanent face she always has whenever someone is trying to marry into the family? I mean, I get that she doesn't want Grace to be just a "gold-digging whore", but I'm gonna tell you, if I saw her making that face at me, especially if I'm trying to marry into this family, I would probably be a little bit freaked out if she kept making that face at me. I'm just saying, it's beginning to get a little bit creepy.

14 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song here, this "Hide-and-Seek" song, is really fucking cool. I'm really digging this song, guys. And if this were played in any actual game of hide-and-seek, I actually think it would make it much more fun in a rather twisted and sick sort of way. It would definitely make it much more interesting. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

5 minutes later

O...K. Well, that certainly took me by surprise! I was not expecting that kinda death. And the result of that gunshot looked fucking nasty and brutal. Holy shit...

8 minutes later

Guys, I totally understand that Grace is scared to death about being the main target of this game of hide-and-seek, but I wish she would cut back on that fucking breathing of hers. It's starting to get a little bit irritating right now, and it's not gonna make her situation any better if she continues breathing constantly. Just saying, she could cut back on it some.

3 minutes later

All right, well, that's the second time that this movie has taken me by surprise. And you know what? That was fucking funny as shit. I'm kinda surprised how good these shock moments are. I'm kinda hoping they continue with that.

14 minutes later

Holy shit, guys, that was fucking amazing! This kid just fucking shot Grace's hand, and what does she do in return? She punches this kid straight in the face, knocking his lights out. I understand that makes me sound like a terrible human being, but this kid absolutely deserved it. And I couldn't be fucking happier that it happened to an annoying little brat like him. That was awesome!

17 minutes later

So Grace is trying to convince Daniel to not kill her, and that nobody has to die if they don't kill her. Um...Grace, MANY people have died tonight already. About half of them were dead because of their own stupidity, and the other half were killed by you, whether it was intentional or not. I'm just saying, it's kinda pointless to say, at this point, "that nobody has to die". It just seems kinda stupid to say that, you know what I mean?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Ready or Not". And that was a rather cool way to end the movie. I'm gonna shut this off now...OK. Well, what to start with? I guess I should say that, going into this movie, I was really hoping for this thing to be great. Because I really like horror comedies, and I kinda had high hopes for this one, being that it is a horror comedy. On the other hand, I was also ready to trash this thing, if it ended up sucking badly. Because I have been let down by horror comedies in the past in this series. So I was kinda treading lightly here with this film. So, what is the overall result? For the most part, it really is a solid film, and I really liked most of everything that was here. But I should probably get into the film itself so I can explain further.

I'm gonna start with writing, and I want to start with the movie's tone. Because, as I just stated, I really enjoy horror comedies. In fact, I prefer horror comedies over straight-up horror movies. And while this movie is certainly really funny, especially in certain scenes, I feel like, at times, the drama in this movie kinda takes away from the comedy a bit. Now, I wasn't really expecting a full blown horror comedy, where it's trying to make you laugh non-stop. Even though I do prefer those, I wasn't really expecting that from this movie. This movie tries to balance it's serious moments with the humor. And while I could see that this movie was trying it's best to do that, again, I feel like the serious moments sorta overshadow the comedy a bit. And it's not to say that all of the seriousness in this movie is bad or anything, but I really just couldn't invest myself in most of those moments. And when you focus more on that than the comedy, it just doesn't quite work. Now, when it comes to moments where our main character, Grace, is just trying to survive against these family members, it totally works. You really feel for Grace, because she was just pulled into this insane shit without knowing what might happen to her as she plays this game of hide-and-seek. And those moments with Grace are really strong, and they do help enhance her character immensely. But when it comes to most of the family members that are after her, most of that doesn't really quite work. Because, outside of Alex, Daniel, and the aunt, nobody else in this family has any real strong character to them. Now, when it comes to the two kids, that makes sense. Because since they are kids, you're not really expecting much from them. But everyone else is just kinda there to play along in this game of hide-and-seek. And that stuff works fine, even if their characters were a little bit shallow. Speaking of which, I want to talk about the jump scares. Normally, guys, jump scares are the most stereotypical things you see in a lot of horror movies. And most of them, the ones I've seen anyway, fail miserably at this, because they don't know how to do them right. This movie, however, showed me that they CAN do it right.  And there's two moments, in particular, that really stand out to me. Now, I'm only gonna spoil one of them here. It happens shortly after the hide-and-seek game begins, and one of the maids ends up getting shot in the head. That moment came right out of nowhere, and it was incredibly satisfying to see this, because you really just don't see it coming. And they actually do this quite a few times in this movie. Now, of course, I'm not gonna spoil the rest of them, on the off chance that you want to see this movie for yourself. But those moments work really well, and I kinda wish more horror movies would take some notes from this one, because this movie doesn't telegraph it's jump scares. It'll just come right out of nowhere, and that makes it even better than it should.

As for the story itself, it's pretty much what I summarized at the beginning of all this. Grace tries to end up being a part of the family by marrying Alex. And in order for her to become a part of this rich family, she has to go through a tradition. And that tradition is playing a game. Now, how does this game of hide-and-seek come into play? Well, Grace is the one who ends up picking this game through a puzzle box. I want to touch upon that box, because the way it's handled kinda leaves me a little bit confused. So, the father explains the backstory behind this box. He says that one of his ancestors made a deal with this guy named Le Bail to help build his family's fortune, but in return they had to uphold a tradition of playing a game that his ancestor has been doing for centuries. And the father explains that his ancestor was trying to figure out the secrets to this puzzle box, which basically opens up a compartment from the box. Now, here's where I'm a little confused on. So, the father explains to Grace that in order for her to decide what game they should play for the possible new family member, he has to place a blank card in the compartment and the puzzle box just does it's own thing, and Grace has to pick the first card that comes out of the box. I don't know exactly what the box was suppose to do. My original thought was that it's probably just a card shuffler, but we don't really see any other cards, other than the blank card that the father put in. In fact, one of the family members, who I believe his name was Fitch, says that he hopes that she draws something like Croquet or Old Maid. But like I said, we don't get to see any of the cards in this box. And I know that the box is suppose to be a secret, but it really makes me question what the hell this box does for it to determine what game the family should play. My theory, and this is just a theory mind you, is that the box is a printer. And the box will print out the first card that it pops out. The reason why I'll call it a printer is because that it needs a blank card in order for it to work, and that it will print out what name of the game the person draws. But I also think that it only prints out "Hide-and-Seek". The reason why I think that is because it's the only game that ever gets played. My proof of that comes from the prologue at the beginning of the movie, where it shows the family from 30 years ago playing hide-and-seek in a similar situation to what Grace is currently in. I really don't think there's any other games that are printed out of that box, outside of the one I just mentioned. Now it might just be me, but I think it would help out a little bit if we got to see MORE of the box. Basically, have a flashback to where the cards print out different games and such. You know, something like that that could've explained more about the box. But that's just me, probably, thinking WAY too deep into this. However, it did kinda bug me a bit. So, you just have to take it for what it's worth.

Aside from that, though, the writing here is incredibly good. And the humor is absolutely hilarious. Guys, it's been a long time since I got a good laugh out of a horror comedy. The last time I can think of any horror comedy that got a laugh out of me was "Chopping Mall". This movie is almost as funny, if not funnier, than what "Chopping Mall" provided. However, that would also have to depend on your taste in horror comedies. But either way, the writing in this thing, especially when it comes to the comedy, is great. I loved, just about, everything about that here. So, what about the acting? Well, the acting is great. Everybody here turns in a really solid showing. I really can't think of anybody in particular that might've phoned it in. And I'm even going to include the child actors. Because what sets the child actors in this movie, unlike a scant few films involving child actors that I've seen, is that they have almost no dialogue. If I really had to round it up, I would say that the child actors in this movie have a grand total of around 5 sentences of dialogue. I couldn't remember if it was more or less, but that's just a minor thing. And I'm all for that. Because if these child actors were more of a focus in this movie, it would probably have brought the movie's acting down a bit. However, that's thankfully not the case here. And what few lines of dialogue here are not too bad from these child actors. So they did a pretty good job for what little they had to work with. Everybody else turns in a fantastic showing, and the script they were given definitely shows. Granted, there was a minor moment in the movie where I mentioned that Grace's breathing was a little bit annoying, however it was really only for that one scene, so I'm not gonna hold it against Samara Weaving, who plays our main character in this movie. I still think she could've toned her breathing down, but again, that's just me nitpicking on random bullshit. Anyways, guys, the acting in this thing is fantastic.

Special effects in this thing are fucking amazing. Just about everything here involving blood are practical effects, and the blood effects look great. However, I did notice one thing that kinda caught my eye. It's a bit of an oddity, but I want to bring it up anyways. So, at one point, the family gets together in what, I think, is suppose to be the billiards room. Now, one of the maids ended up getting shot at in one of the jump scares that I haven't spoiled. Now, the aunt is suppose to say something to the family, but the gurgling noises from the maid keep interrupting her. So the aunt decides to say "Fuck it!" and shuts the maid up permanently by swinging her ax down at her dying body. I'm just gonna take a guess here and say that she was aiming for her neck. Now, first off, I will say that moment with the aunt swinging the ax down was funny as hell. But the thing that caught my attention the most was when she brings up the ax. Because you can see that there was almost no blood on the ax. I say 'almost' because there's, like, a hint of red on the ax that you can faintly see. So, I'm going to assume either there was blood on it long before she swung that ax at the maid, or if it was just something involving special effects that they just forgot to add blood. Now again, it's something that almost NOBODY is going to notice or care about. However, it is one of those bits of details that I tend to notice, so you just have to take it for what it's worth. However, everything else involving blood is great. There's also only one bit of CG that comes into play towards the very end of the movie. I'm not gonna spoil that for obvious reasons, however, I will also say that one moment of CG looks really good. So, special effects in this movie are fantastic from top to bottom.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is lit rather well. Sound-mix here is competent. The music, at least for the score, is rather decent. But the soundtrack is really good. There's 3 songs, well 2 technically, that I picked up from this movie. One of them is that "Hide-and-Seek" song that plays whenever the hide-and-seek game is about to start. It is such a creepy, yet foreboding, song, that it helps sets up the movie's atmosphere when Grace is trying to hide and the family members are gathering their weapons together. It is just that good. The second song that I heard from this movie was a very famous orchestral score known as the "1812 Overture". Though seeing as how I just said it was an orchestral score, it would really belong in the score area, rather than the soundtrack. But it's still a really good score that, damn near, everybody has heard at one point in their life. The other song, which came at the closing credits before I shut off the movie, sounded like a rock version of "Here Comes The Bride". Which, I don't think I've ever heard of a rock version of that song. But looking it up, I found out that the song is called "Love Me Tender" by Stereo Jane. And it sounded pretty good, and I may have to give that song a full listen to at some point. But overall, the music in this movie from both the score and soundtrack was great.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Ready or Not?" Oh, hell yes, guys, this thing was amazing. Like I said at the beginning, I had high hopes of this movie being great, what with it being a horror comedy and all, and it mostly lived up to being a horror comedy throughout it's 95 minute runtime. Again, the seriousness in some scenes kinda takes away from the comedy a bit, but it's still not enough to bring the movie down. It's great as a horror comedy. And if you, yourself, are a fan of horror comedies, I would totally say that you're gonna end up loving this thing. The only thing I kinda regret now is that I didn't have the chance to see this thing in theaters, because that would've been an amazing experience. But like I said earlier, life got in the way of that happening, and I missed out in watching it then. But thanks to me doing this series, and the fact I've kept it going up to this point, I finally got a chance to cover it for Reaction & Review. And it was definitely worth the wait. Now, on the off chance that anybody might ask this, where I would I rank this in terms of horror comedies that I've seen? Well, in a top 5, let's just say, I would probably put this as my third or fourth favorite. Because this thing would never top "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" or "Dead & Breakfast". I would say it ties with "Chopping Mall", because I still have a soft spot for that movie. As for fifth favorite favorite...um, honestly, I can't think of that right now. So I guess top 5 was a bit of a stretch. So...I guess top 4 is the better option right now. But anyway, I'm just rambling on at this point. This movie was great, and, again, if you're into horror comedies, you'll probably end up loving this thing. And it's certainly going to have a prominent spot on my DVD shelf. Now...as for me, I'm gonna go watch something else. And seeing as how I brought up the "1812 Overture" when talking about music, my mind instantly thought about "V For Vendetta". And I see my copy of it sitting on my DVD shelf, so I'm gonna go watch that. Because it's been quite a while since I last saw that movie, and I feel like giving it another watch.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.