Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering an action movie from 2011. That movie is "Drive Angry".
Now, I came across this movie not too long ago at one of my local video stores, when I was searching for a certain movie that had the word 'drive' in it. And you'll know what it is by the time I cover it. But anyway, as I was browsing, I came across this movie, and I can tell you a couple of things that I picked up from it.
The first thing is that it stars Nicolas Cage. And I have known that Nicolas Cage, for the most part, tends to be a very good actor. And in this movie, Nicolas Cage plays as an undead felon, who breaks out of hell to get revenge on the people that killed his daughter, and rescue her baby at the same time. So, in a nutshell, Nic Cage is playing Ghost Rider, except without all of the supernatural powers that Ghost Rider possesses.
So, setting aside from the obvious jokes I could make or have already made about Ghost Rider, that summary, to me, sounds fucking amazing. Because, for one, I do enjoy a good revenge movie. And the fact that it stars Nicolas Cage sounds like a fucking winner. However, thanks to this series, I have known that just because a concept sounds awesome, it does not mean that the movie is going to be any good. So there is a chance that this thing could be a massive turd.
However, I am certainly hoping for this movie to be amazing. But I will be ready to trash this thing, if it does end up sucking. And the only way I'm going to find out how good or bad this movie can be, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick, back, relax, and check out "Drive Angry".
14 minutes later
Well guys, I can tell you that the dialogue in this movie, at least so far, is kinda shit. And I am going to have to specify. Almost every character in this movie has used the word 'fuck' or some alliteration of that word in some context, and it's getting a little tiresome. And it's making it as though as nobody in this movie speaks like a human being. I kinda hope that the dialogue improves as the movie goes on, but right now, I kinda wish this movie would dial it back with it's over-usage of the word 'fuck', you know what I mean?
13 minutes later
You know, out of all the things I was expecting in this movie, Nic Cage fucking someone while fully clothed is not what I had in mind. He even has his sunglasses on, too. That is...kinda odd.
4 minutes later
OK guys, I have a tip for anybody who wants to do a shootout scene in an action movie. Doing it all in slow-motion doesn't make it look cooler. In fact, if anything, it's making this scene kinda dull. Plus also, some of the kills here are way over the top, and it's making this scene all the more stupid.
20 minutes later
You know, guys, it's rather sad. Even during a normal action scene, when things aren't in slow-motion, the shootouts are still boring as hell. How the fuck can you make a shootout in an action scene boring?! That is just really fucking depressing, guys.
3 minutes later
OK, you know what? As dull as that car chase was, the way that it ended was kinda funny. I gotta give them some credit there.
4 minutes later
So let me if I understand this. So Piper jumped out of the trailer van and onto Milton's car. Jonah just fired at least 9 shots from his revolver while Milton was trying to help Piper inside the car. And not a single bullet managed to hit any of them, other than the hood of the car? Oh...well, at least he blew out their motor. Well, whether he meant to shoot the motor or not, I think it's safe to say that Jonah's aiming really fucking sucks, guys.
18 minutes later
Why the hell isn't this fucking movie finished yet? Guys, I have been struggling to find something halfway interesting, and I haven't even gotten that yet. This movie is that fucking boring, and I can't wait for it to end.
The Review
Well guys, that was "Drive Angry". Let me shut that off...OK. If there is a word that I can summarize this movie, then that word is disappointing. Because, this story had a lot of promise going into it. When I read the back of the DVD case about how Nic Cage comes back from hell to get revenge, I was sold on it, because, as I said, I really like revenge movies. Unfortunately, unlike the ones I have seen, this movie doesn't really have the appeal factor that those movies had.
Let's start by talking about the writing, because this is where the movie slowly dies a painful death. I have mentioned this before in my review of "Samurai Princess" is that you want to have a reason to care about why someone is getting revenge and how it's affected them throughout their crusade, if you want to call it that. And we do have that here for our main character, Milton. Because Milton's motivation is that his daughter was killed by this religious cult that she was once a member of. And the only thing Milton has for a family is his daughter's baby, that they kidnapped. Why? Because they want to sacrifice the baby so that they can bring hell on Earth. And, according to Milton, they can do that. So he breaks out of hell, and this sets up the plot for our movie. I would like to know how escaping from a prison in hell, in a car, mind you, would lead you back into the real world, but I am not going to get into that.
Along the way he meets up with our female lead, Piper, who has very little personality to speak of. In fact, that's one of the big problems I have with this movie is that almost every character is dull and lifeless. The only other exception that isn't Milton, is our villain for this movie, Jonah King. And the only reason why I mention him is that he's basically a religious nutcase who thinks that sacrificing Milton's granddaughter is what will bring Hell to Earth. Granted, that's not saying much for Jonah, because religious lunatics don't have a ton of personality to speak of. But at least he does have that. As for Piper, she really has no reason to be in this movie, other than being caught up in Milton's revenge mission. The only things that happen to her is that she catches her boyfriend cheating on her, gets captured by Jonah's cult, and that's it. She really plays almost no factor into this movie. Hell, she doesn't even get to be a part of the final showdown with Jonah and his cult, as they are preparing to sacrifice the baby. No, she gets held back in that regard by the Accountant, whose only motivation is to track down Milton, after he escaped from hell, and to get a gun back that Milton, apparently, stole on his way out of hell. Why does the Accountant hold Piper back? I don't know. It wasn't properly explained all that well. If it was because the Accountant wanted Milton to finish the job by himself, then it still made no sense, because Piper volunteered to go with him in the latter half of the movie to rescue the baby. So why even hold her back at all?
As for Milton, he doesn't tell Piper about who he really is until when there's about over a half an hour left in the movie. We, the viewer, know who he is and what his motivation is long before that, because we get a flashback about how his nephew and daughter were killed by Jonah, and his baby was stolen after that. And admittedly, Piper picks up on the fact that his baby was kidnapped because she saw it on a news report on TV at a bar. But that's it. She doesn't get to know who he really is until long after one of his eyes gets shot at later in the movie. And until we get to that point, it's just too little, too late. Because most of this movie is boring as shit. Partially because, the pacing is rather slow, and the dialogue is mostly shit. And most of the dialogue has to do with characters saying the word 'fuck', quite a bit. About 65 to 70% of the dialogue has someone saying 'fuck' in some way, shape, or form. And mind you, this is coming from someone who swears a lot, but this shit is so forced that, as I mentioned earlier, nobody sounded like a normal person. Even Milton is written like shit, because his personality has all of the likability of dried paint. There's one scene I can remember where he was fucking somebody while fully clothed. And we see him shooting Jonah's followers, as they are coming in his hotel room to try and kill him. While Milton is doing all of this, he has a cigar in his mouth and sunglasses on him, while still holding onto the person in front of him who he's been fucking. If the scene was suppose to be an attempt at making Jonah funny and badass, then it failed miserably. And all it did was make that entire action scene boring as shit.
While I'm on the subject of action, let's talk about the action scenes. Because, since this is advertised as an action movie, you would think that the action scenes would be something that would hold this movie together. Instead, all of the action scenes are bland and lifeless. I'm talking about stuff involving car chases that are slow, shoot-outs that are uninspiring and lifeless, and I mentioned one scene earlier where there was a shoot-out at a hotel where Milton and Piper are staying at. I already talked about how doing the entire scene in slow-motion doesn't enhance the movie in anyway, and where it made the whole scene boring to watch. I also mentioned some kills that are kinda over the top. One example I can think of is where Milton shoots one guy in the leg, and it causes him to do, I guess, some sort of front-flip into a window, crashing into it, and dying in the process. Now, I'm not asking for realism in an action movie, but I would like to see some sort of believability in how some of these people die. Now beyond that, I can say that was the only instance where an action scene was done in slow-motion. So, at the very least, I can give them some credit there. But beyond that, the action scenes are just dull, boring, and none of it is going to wow anybody, because the action scenes are boring to start with and they don't get any better from there. And as much crap as I gave "Lone Wolf McQuade" for it's plotless writing, at least there, the action scenes were kinda interesting, which didn't make me flat out hate the movie. But here, it's the exact opposite. We have a potentially amazing story, that's boggled down by a shallow script and action scenes that you make you want to fall asleep.
So, the writing here is a massive disappointment. What's also disappointing is the acting. Guys, this is quite possibly the weakest performance I have ever seen Nicolas Cage give out. A lot of people may not know this about Nicolas Cage, but he is known to be one of the most hammiest actors in the world of film. So when he's in stuff such as "Ghost Rider", or the two "National Treasure" movies , he can turn those performances into solid gold and make it his own movie. But in this movie, Nicolas Cage sounds like he's under-acting his performance. So much so, that he's not able to be himself. If he was playing more of a slightly goofy character, then I think it would make this movie all the more fun to watch. But instead, he remains mostly stone-faced serious throughout most of the movie. And the few attempts at humor in trying to show that he has some sort of personality is forced and unnecessary that it, ultimately, makes his character somewhat lifeless. As for everyone else, even though they didn't have much to work with, they at least turned in halfway decent showings. Except for William Fichtner as the Accountant. He was fucking horrible in this movie. Because it sounds like he doesn't know whether his character is trying to be funny or serious in this movie. And it makes his performance stand out, and not in a good way. So overall, the acting is OK, with the two exceptions being Nic Cage and Fichtner.
Now let's move on to special effects. One thing I didn't mention in this review until now is that this movie was also released in 3D. And I can tell you that this movie, in many shots, was really trying to aim for the 3D effects. And if I were watching the movie in 3D, I would say that the effects would be decent for that kind of viewing experience. However, seeing as how I'm not watching the movie in 3D, I can't really say that. I can tell you that most of those shots look rather average. We also have CG that is OK for the most part, except for one scene. So, we have our two heroes stopped by a police barricade. Now before I go on, I want to make mention that I am in no way a car expert, so if I don't know what kind of model car or truck it is, then I'm sorry, but I can only go by how I can describe it. So, behind the police barricade, we get to see the Accountant drive a truck that has a moving cylinder attached to it. And we see it bumping into the police cars, as some of them explode. All of that looks fine, except for the truck that the Accountant is driving. Because the truck, in about two or three shots, looks as though as if it were rendered out of a PlayStation 1 game. Mind you, this movie came out in 2011. Yet, the CG in that scene would've look terrible if it came out in 2001. That's how bad the CG was for that scene. Beyond that, though, everything else looked OK. From the muzzle flare of the guns, save for one shot where Milton was shooting 3 bullets from his car during the final showdown. But then again, that was scene was shot specifically for the 3D effects. Overall, the CG is average, but none of it is going to stand out at you, unless you were watching the movie in 3D.
Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting is well lit. The sound-mix is competent enough. The music for both the soundtrack and score are nothing memorable, save for a couple of songs in the soundtrack. One of them I can sorta remember playing during the closing shot of the movie. I may have to look up the song at some point to see what it was called. But that was song was pretty good. But as I said, most of it is not really all that memorable.
So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Drive Angry"? Unfortunately, no. I cannot recommend it, unless you find the movie cheap. Because I spent about $5 on this movie, and I kinda wish I got that $5 back. This movie is one of the most boring action movies I have seen in a long time, and it's by far, the worst Nicolas Cage movie I have ever seen. If you want a good action movie that has Nicolas Cage in it, go watch something like "Ghost Rider" or any of the two "National Treasure" movies. In fact, I kinda want to go watch the first "National Treasure" movie, because I want to watch a better movie starring Nic Cage. And I want to forget that this movie ever happened.
And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.
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