Reaction & Review | Critters 3

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm checking out the 3rd entry in the "Critters" series, which came out in 1991. That movie is "Critters 3".

Now, I do know a couple of things about this movie. Unlike the previous two entries, where they were both set in a local town, this movie takes place in a city. So, that gives our furry little creatures, hopefully, more room to work with. I also know that this movie, along with the 4th film, were both released as direct-to-video sequels. Which normally raises a red flag to some viewers. Mainly because, companies like Disney had a really bad habit of releasing direct-to-video sequels to their animated movies, and the quality on them ranged on being all over the place. So this movie could potentially meet that same fate as well. I'm hoping that it doesn't, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Now the other thing that I know about this movie is one of the cast members that stars in it. And I didn't even have to look it up because the combo pack that I have name drops the actor on, specifically, the third movie. This movie marks the film debut of Leonardo DiCaprio. Which is kinda cool, really. Now I will say upfront that I haven't really seen a whole lot of movies that feature this well known star. The only film I can recall that I have seen him in was when he played that one bad guy in "Django Unchained". So I'm really curious to see how he's gonna be able to handle himself the first time around.

Now I have no idea how this movie is gonna turn out. Like I said, there is a possibility that this movie could potentially suck mainly, in part, do to it being a direct-to-video sequel. But I'm also aware that a lot of movie sequels aren't able to obtain the quality their predecessors had. So really, this thing can sway either way for me. The only way I'm gonna know how good or bad this movie could possibly be is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Critters 3".

10 minutes later

OK, guys, I have a little bit of a complaint here that I want to address. Right now, we're being shown stock footage from the first two "Critters" movies. And I normally wouldn't have a problem with this, except, one, the clips that I'm seeing is just a random mishmash of the first two movies combined. I thought they would've gone for more of a traditional approach and show them in the proper order, but I guess not. And two, this, to me, just feels like filler. And looking at the runtime of this movie, I feel like this little clip show is just an excuse to pad it out needlessly. This just feels unnecessary.

18 minutes later

So, guys, I have some good news. Frank, the most annoying character in this movie, is more than likely dead. I say more than likely, because even though we got to see the Krites get a bite out of him, they don't show the killing blow. But hey, at least these little bastards still haven't lost their touch.

18 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm really liking the vibe that I'm getting from this movie. It feels like a genuine horror movie, and I'm really like that aspect so far. I'm hoping they'll be able to keep up that pace for the rest of the film.

15 minutes later

OK, I have a stupid question here. Instead of trying to reach the phone in this stupid manner, why doesn't Marcia just, I don't know, cut the rope off her foot so she can get to the phone booth much easier!? I think it would save you more energy that way instead of just swinging for it like a complete idiot. Just saying.

2 minutes later

Holy shit, guys, I just discovered one of these Krites actually has a name; Blackie. And also, it has a really annoying scream that can attract the other Krites attention. I believe this is the first time within three movies that I've discovered something new about them. That's really...kinda cool, actually.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Critters 3", and it ends with a "To Be Continued...". I'm curious to see where they're gonna go from there, but I'll just have to wait until I watch the 4th one. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and shut the movie off now...OK. So, where to start with this one? Well, I can say that, for the most part, this movie was pretty good. Now mind you, it still has some problems, as did the previous two films in this series, but I can still say that I actually wound up enjoying this one, despite it's flaws.

Why don't we start this off by first discussing the writing. Now, I have to make a correction on something before I go any further. I mentioned at the start of this thing that this movie, unlike Grover's Bend where it was set in a small local town, was gonna take place in a city, where our main titled creatures can have more room to do their eating habits. And well...I kinda lied about that. See, while this *does* take place in a city, it's more regulated to just an apartment complex. Which I know to some people will sound like a downgrade, and I can completely understand why. However, even with that said, I still think they were able to conjur a decent idea here where the movie is essentially a home invasion flick, and a rather interesting one at that, too. Yes, this was also sorta done in the first movie, but this one focused more on that concept than the first one did. And it actually feels like a horror movie, in which you have the lights all switched off and you have our tenants trying to fend off the Krites. It's really interesting stuff, though they do try to work more off the horror comedy bit as well. Which admittedly, isn't as funny as it was in the previous movies, but it's still decent here for the most part.

Now, one thing I have to mention here, and I briefly brought this up in my review of the second film, is where do you go with this series after the storybook ending feel of the second movie? Well, aside from this being a home invasion story, it focuses on a new set of characters that inhabit this apartment building. So you have characters like the elder couple, whom one of them who has recorded knowledge of what happened at Grover's Bend. You have Marcia, who's essentially a handy woman. And you also have Annie, and her family, both being her Dad and her little brother. And in terms of character depth, the only bit you get out of this comes from Annie and her father, who basically have disconnected with each other on a personal level. The same can be sorta said with Josh's Dad, who also happens to be the landlord that's trying to get everybody evicted from the apartment building. Why? I don't know. He's probably just a scummy landlord who wants their money or something. It's not fully explained, but it's not really that important anyways.

The only character I do want to make mention of is Charlie, who is the only character from the previous two movies that's still present here. Unfortunately though, he's only in the movie during the beginning and near the end of it, when he finally spurs into action to take on the Krites. And the only reason he was there was because, according to him, Annie's little brother, Johnny, called him. I don't know *how* exactly. Maybe it was because of the crystal he gave to him in the beginning of the movie, though that in itself wasn't fully clarified. The only thing he told Johnny is that when the crystal glows green, that means they have to watch out for themselves. But aside from that, I don't know if that's how he actually got a hold of Charlie or not. All I can tell you guys is that Charlie's presence is somewhat wasted here, and aside from fighting off the Krites, he's only here to tease about what might happen for the 4th movie. I won't spoil that for you guys here, but I will say that Charlie could've honestly been more involved here.

So yeah, guys, writing in this movie is certainly an odd one. I will say that it's not quite as good as the previous two movies were, but I can't totally discredit this movie either. It's still decent for what it is, and is still able to have some fun with itself. And speaking of which, the acting here is actually pretty good. The two actors I need make mention of are Leonardo DiCaprio and the guy who plays his landlord father. Now being that this is Leo's film debut here, how does he do here? Well, while he's kinda out of it for a good portion of the film, he does get involved again after his father "invites" him to go to the apartment complex to evict everyone. And I will say that he does a pretty good job with the material he's given as a child actor of the time. And as for his father, well, I don't know what it is, but the way he looks and acts in this movie, reminds me a *lot* of Vincent Price. And it's more so on the serious side of Vincent Price's acting because he has that tone in which he almost captures that mannerism in the way that Price acted. I almost want to call it an imitation, but it actually brings off that unique charm I get whenever I would watch any of Vincent Price's movies. So I'm gonna say that he was the best actor in the entire movie, for me anyway. Everyone else did a pretty good job with their given roles, too. I would say the actor playing Johnny was probably the weakest, mainly because he is a child actor. But I'm gonna give him a slight pass here, mainly because he doesn't have a whole lot of lines to work with. Which, to me, is a good thing.

Now for the special effects. For the third straight movie, the Chiodo Brothers are back doing the special effects, and they are damn near great. Not quite as polished as the previous two films were, but for a direct-to-video sequel, this is genuinely amazing stuff. The blood effects here are pretty good, and the puppeteering is also done really well, too. The only bit that I had an issue with, and it's not really a fault of the special effects, is the fact that there are so little kills in this movie. I only counted two in the entire movie, and the rest of the time, the Krites were just kinda messing around in one of the apartment rooms. It's similar to the scene in the first "Gremlins" movie where the Gremlins were just hanging around at the bar causing mischief while being goofy as well. Although this one is shorter in length and not quite as memorable as it was in "Gremlins". But I digress, at least this movie is still a huge reminder that it's still trying to cash in on the success of "Gremlins" as much as it can. But anyway, I'm getting off topic here. The special effects are still really good, at least in terms of the Chiodo Brothers standards.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is lit pretty well. There are some scenes where darkness is obviously present here, but they do a good enough job to where they balance itself out with what little light that they're trying to work with in terms of it being a home invasion flick. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here is honestly really forgettable. I couldn't remember a single piece of music from this movie that I would consider memorable in anyway, but I guess it's at least serviceable.

So anyway, when all is said and done, guys, am I able to recommend "Critters 3"? Honestly, yes, I can. Provided that you have seen the previous two movies and you enjoyed them. Or if you're somebody who's really curious on how Leonardo DiCaprio was able to handle himself in his film debut. As a sequel to the previous two films, I still don't think it's quite as good as those two films were, but I would still say it's worth checking out, if at least just once. Now whether this thing will transition into a good sequel for the 4th movie is something that I still don't know at this time. For now, though, I'm gonna go and do something else. Well, seeing as how I mentioned Vincent Price, I do have a couple of his movies on DVD. I think I'm gonna go and rewatch "Tales Of Terror". It's been a good while since I last reviewed it for this series, so I'm gonna go and do that next once I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Do or Die

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we continue the "Triple B" series by taking a look at the next entry that came out in 1991. That movie is "Do or Die".

Now, aside from this being the 6th entry in Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series, I don't really know much about it. The only things I know are a couple of cast members. One of them is, once again, Erik Estrada. I have no idea if he's either reprising the same role he had in the previous movie, or if he's playing a new character here. Though considering what happened to him in "Guns", my guess is that he's gonna play someone new here. At least, that's what I'm thinking of anyways.

The other cast member that I know of is Mr. Miyagi himself Pat Morita. Now, similar to Erik Estrada, I don't know what he's gonna do here in this movie, but I'm curious to see this for myself. So, I may as well just cut this short and get straight into it. I don't know if it's gonna be any good, but the only way I'm gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Do or Die".

6 minutes later

So the reason why our villain, Kane, is setting up this bounty hunter challenge to take down Donna and Nicole is mostly because of his sense of humor. Well...I will say that, as dumb as that sounds, at *least* it's something. So, I guess I can't fault him for his lack of explanation.

6 minutes later

Well, guys, I am willing to say that this movie certainly lives up to being an over-the-top action movie. Nicole just used her cane to insert a mini rocket of sorts and use it as missile launcher at the helicopter that was shooting at them and blew it the fuck up! I would question whether or not Nicole had that planned in advance, considering she has a sprained ankle and all, but I'm not going to this time because that was kinda awesome.

13 minutes later

You know, guys, I totally understand that this air show is suppose to be interesting and all, but honestly, I'm finding it to be really boring. I'm hoping maybe we can move past this soon so we can get this plot moving. Until then, this air show is starting to put me to sleep.

9 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song that's playing here kinda sucks. I don't know if it's because of the accordion player or the singer's voice...OK, they just kinda switched it up a bit. Now it's more of a square dance-esque number. And the accordion player has also changed it up a bit to where it sounds more upbeat. Honestly...it sounds halfway decent now. Mind you, it still isn't great, but I can at least say that it doesn't suck as much as it could've. So at least that's something.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, even though I saw it coming from a mile away, I still can't quite get over the fact that a cat just died from eating poisoned catfish. And that's partially because I really like cats, so that's kinda messed up.

12 minutes later

All right, guys, I've never had a chance to comment on any of the sex scenes before in any of Sidaris's films, but this is the first one I'm gonna have to do that on. So I'm not really someone who specializes in sexual kinks, but how often is it when a woman sprinkles salt onto a dude's chest and just licks it off in a sexual manner? Don't ask me why I would ask something like that, part of me just wants to know if it's common practice to do that sort of thing when you're about to bang each other.

8 minutes later

Well, guys, once again, I'm kinda impressed at the level of creativity with these kills. This one featured Erik Estrada throwing baseballs at one of our assassins, with the last he threw disguised as an explosive bomb. And the assassin was stupid enough to use his shotgun to hit it like a bat instead of, you know, shooting it before it explodes. But since I'm not one of these retarded assassins, I can't really question their methods, now can I?

8 minutes later

So Shane has a giant-ass magnum and he's shooting it at both of our assassins on skis. All of them are missing, mind you, and what's worse, our assassins, even the ones who have tried and failed to shoot Donna and Nicole, all missed their shots, too. Does nobody in this movie know how to shoot for shit!? Probably not, all things considered.

1 minute later

Oh finally, he actually shot something! Granted, it was just a duck, considering the sound it just made, but hey, at least he finally shot something. That's an improvement, I guess.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Do or Die". Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. Good god, where do I even start with this thing...? Well, I'm gonna let you guys know ahead of time that what I'm about say in this review will sound incredibly negative to a lot of you. And it's especially apparent, if you have never seen an Andy Sidaris film before. I'll get into all that in a second, but I'm gonna say, guys, for every criticism I'm about to level against this movie, I actually wound up really enjoying it. Seriously, guys, I know it sounds like I'm being a hypocrite by talking about all the things that go against this movie, but in a weird way, it still winds up being a really enjoyable flick. At least to me it does.

Now before I get into the writing itself, I'm gonna start with the biggest problem this movie has, which is the pacing. This movie's pacing is so uneven that it would normally hurt a movie. See, this movie has so many scenes of people having sex that I sometimes wondered if Sidaris didn't have anything for writing material, so he just gave the actors a lot of improvisation on what he wanted the actors to do for certain scenes. I don't know if that was the case for this movie or not, but then again, I also have to remember that Sidaris has been making these sorts of movies for a long time now, so I probably shouldn't be too surprised that they're in here. But still, there are lot of them in this movie, and because of that, it could also be seen as a complete pace-breaker for people who just want to get the plot going.

As for the writing itself, well, there's really almost no plot here at all. The most you get out of it is that our main villain, Kane, who is played by Pat Morita, is an evil businessman who sends 6 teams of assassins to take down Donna and Nicole. Our two leading ladies are on the run while also getting help from other people at the same time, all the while outwitting the assassins with almost no problems at all. And I'm not kidding when I say that because, a bit of a spoiler for those of you who seriously care about the plot, none of our heroes get killed. All of the assassins in this movie fail miserably. Even when Donna hands over her watch, which was secretly tampered with a tracking device to one of our heroes, they still end up killing the assassins because they're so terrible at their jobs.

I should also mention that out of all of Andy Sidaris's films I've seen up till this point, this movie literally has no kind of character development whatsoever. Nobody in this movie has any actual depth to their characters. Which is a stark contrast, when compared to the previous film in this series, which was "Guns", where that movie tried to go for more of a story-driven plot. This movie has almost nothing like that. And speaking of characters, I want to mention Kane for a moment. Because near the end of the movie, they throw in a plot twist that comes right out of nowhere where they're gonna keep track of all his movements thanks to a woman named Silk. Now in case you don't know, she's the woman who's been with Kane throughout the entire movie. And up until the twist is revealed, there was no indication at all about her being a double agent for our heroes. Like I said, it comes right of nowhere and doesn't really make any sense.

So yeah, we have a plot that is incredibly thin and characters who have no personality or depth here. And normally, I would write this whole thing off as just being a shitty, plotless action movie. And yet, despite it being a plotless action movie...it still actually works pretty well here. And the reason why I say it works is because, if you compared this to a couple of the previous films in this series like "Guns" "Savage Beach" and "Picasso Trigger", where those movies tried to go for more of a serious story driven plot that it sorta backfired on itself. More so with "Picasso Trigger" because that movie tried to go for a story that failed miserably, mainly because it tried to dump you with all this exposition in one scene that you're not gonna remember *any* of it by the time it ended. "Guns" and "Savage Beach" worked a little bit better because of it's cohesiveness, however, "Savage Beach" was still a little bit dull, and "Guns" tried to work in continuity with it's previous films despite it being unnecessary.

But in the case of "Do or Die", it goes back to an early point in this series where it knew what it wanted to be: a dumb action flick with big-boobed girls, over-the-top action scenes, and explosions that would make Michael Bay get a hard on. All of that is here in it's Andy Sidaris charm, and it oozes with cheesiness. Which, for of you who may or may not know, I enjoy that immensely as long as it doesn't try too hard to aim for so it's bad, it's good. This movie nails that almost perfectly and it's why I wound up really enjoying it so much.

So, with all that said about the writing, the acting in this movie is just about what you would expect from an Andy Sidaris film. Most of the acting in this movie is just terrible as it was in the previous films, mainly from the recurring cast anyway. The only ones I can give a pass to are Erik Estrada and Pat Morita. Morita, in particular, is easily the best actor in the entire movie. Even though his character is completely flat and one dimensional, he actually takes what little he has here and just nails it perfectly. He even has scenes where he sorta ends up making out with the girl that I mentioned earlier, and also massages her and ends up getting one as well from her. And watching those scenes for the first time, I'm probably never gonna be watching the "Karate Kid" movies the same way ever again. But then again, I've only seen the first 3 movies and only 2 of them were actually any good. But I digress, Pat Morita is the best actor in the movie by far, with Erika Estrada coming in at a close second. Everyone else, well, I kinda already summed up their performances in a nutshell for you.

Special effects are, once more, everything you would come to expect from an Andy Sidaris movie. Pyrotechnics, squib work on guns, what little blood effects are in this movie, all of it is present here. And it really hasn't changed in the slightest. *Maybe* there might've been more explosions here than in "Guns", but I don't really know for sure. I would have to rewatch it at some point to make sure for myself. But anyway, special effects are incredibly standard here.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is lit perfectly fine. Sound-mix is mixed pretty well. The music, honestly, I don't have a whole lot to say about, other than the country song that I briefly mentioned earlier. It's OK, but it's nothing to write home about. So yeah, the score here is just OK.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Do or Die"? If you can look past all of the flaws this thing has and you just view it as a mindless action movie, then you are going to adore this thing. This movie has everything that you would come to expect from an Andy Sidaris flick. Big boobed ladys, over-the-top action scenes, all of that is there and it hasn't changed. If you're looking a serious, plot-based action movie, then this is not the film for you. This movie is almost devoid of plot and character depth that it makes the previous films that *did* have something like that almost make it look bad. At least, if you look at it from a certain viewpoint. But overall, this movie is pretty much an Andy Sidaris film that knows what it wanted to be and I really enjoyed this thing despite it's obvious flaws. So yeah, I'm still looking forward to seeing what else this film series has in store. But for now, I'm gonna go and watch another movie that is considered so bad, it's good. And one film that comes to mind is "Super Mario Bros.", specifically the 1993 version. I'm gonna go and watch that next because I absolutely love that movie.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Critters 2: The Main Course

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we're continuing the "Critters" series by taking a look at the second movie which came out in 1988. That movie is "Critters 2: The Main Course".

Now, in case you're new here and reading this for the first time, a couple of weeks ago, I reviewed the first "Critters" movie. And I really enjoyed it. Mind you, the film wasn't without it's flaws, mainly that the writing in that movie was incredibly weak, and the "Critters" themselves were pretty generic, especially if you tried to compare them to other creature films such as "Gremlins" and "Munchies". But despite all that, I still wound up really enjoying it, even with the weak writing aside.

Now as for the sequel, I don't really know much about it, other than the Kritons, which is what the furry monsters are actually called, are back, and apparently they're out for more stuff to eat. I don't know anything else beyond that, but I'm hoping for it to be better than it's predecessor. The only way I'm gonna know that for sure, though, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Critters 2: The Main Course".

18 minutes later

OK, you know, I've never heard a female reporter being compared to Jimmy Olsen, from the "Superman" comics, only with breasts. That's kind of a bold statement there, Brad, especially since you say that right in front of her. Or, next to her, since he's riding with her in her truck. But still, pretty bold to say that kind of thing to her, dude.

6 minutes later

And already we have our first two victims, the old beer drinker and his dog. And I believe his dog got the worst of that exchange rather than him. Still, at least these furry little bastards haven't lost their touch.

9 minutes later

You know, guys, when I saw earlier that they were advertising an Easter Egg Hunt, I was expecting something, like, the hidden candy being eaten or one of the kids ends up getting killed by one of these things. I was "sorta" expecting the Easter Bunny to be involved in all this, though I didn't expect him to crash through the church window like that. That kinda took me by surprise there.

5 minutes later

You know what's funny to me, guys? Well, first off, the faceless bounty hunter that could transform into whatever human it liked just based on what it saw, has transformed into a playboy model from a Playboy magazine. And what's funny about all this to me is that, along with the "Critters" movies, I'm also reviewing another series, which is Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series, that also features Playboy models that are also suppose to be action stars. I don't know why I find that hilarious, maybe it's just because it's coincidental or something. Who knows?

15 minutes later

So, Charlie prevented Lee, the bounty who transforms his face, from turning into Freddy Krueger from "Nightmare On Elm Street". Why the hell would you do that!? That would've been an awesome little crossover. Unintentional sure, but still, it would've been really cool. If anything else, at least Freddy wouldn't be involved in a proper crossover until "Freddy vs. Jason". So, at least there's that, I guess.

18 minutes later

OK...I never expected that kind of fucking twist before. I didn't think that could actually happened, but that definitely was a really interesting and surprising turn. And no, I'm not gonna tell you what that is, guys, you're just gonna have to watch the movie for yourself.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Critters 2: The Main Course". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. I should note, by the way, that unlike the first movie, this one doesn't end on a sequel hook. It just kinda has it's own closure. So where exactly they go from here, I don't know. But, I will say, on it's own standards, the movie's still pretty good. Is it as good as the first movie? Um...that's kind of a hard one to answer. I'll try and answer it later when I get to recommendations.

So, let's start this thing off by first talking about the writing. And this is where I'm gonna have a hard time with this one because, in a way, it's both better and weaker than the first movie. So, to start with, this movie takes place two years after the first movie. And between that movie and the first one, the only characters that return here are Brad, the two bounty hunters, Charile, and Harv the sheriff. I didn't mention him in my previous review because he was just kinda forgettable to me. Nothing about him really stood out in the first movie, so that's the reason why I didn't mention him. He kinda plays more of a role here, as he apparently was voted out of office after the incident that happened a couple of years ago in Grover's Bend involving the "Krites", thus he's been hiding out in his trailer home after the incident. Though he comes back later to rally the citizens of Grover's Bend in order to fend themselves against the "Krites", who have more or less taken over the town.

Now as for Brad, he actually moved with his family from between the first movie and this one. Which kinda makes, but also doesn't. You see, near the end of the first movie, the bounty hunters were able to, well, scientifically restore their house back to the way it was before it exploded. Which then left me wondering why did Brad's family move out of their home if it was properly restored? Well, they kinda sorta answer that when Brad tried to tell everyone in town about what had happened back then, only for them to not believe any of it, and thus they believed that Brad was just being a dumb kid who made shit up. Even though there bounty hunters there too, who also were going around town looking for the furry little monsters that were causing havoc somewhere nearby. So why they tried to brush it off then makes almost no sense. I suppose you could argue that the town's residents wanted to forget about the incident as much as possible, so they tried to pretend that it didn't exist. Which, again, makes no sense, considering they *saw* the bounty hunters and all, so I'm gonna just chalk that off as complete ignorance on their part.

But as with Brad, he comes back to stay with his grandmother throughout Easter. And it's here where I have to comment on something. You see, I've seen a lot of horror movies, and sometimes, they would center themselves around a certain holiday. The ones I've usually come across center around Christmas and Halloween. The former, more so than the latter. But I don't think I've ever seen a horror movies of sorts where the holiday is centered around Easter. Which is rather unique, simply because I haven't really seen a whole lot of horror movies that take place around Easter. In fact, I think this may be the first one I've ever come across. I could be totally wrong there, but I'm pretty sure that it is the first in my case.

But anyway, going back to Brad, seeing as how I kept holding him off for so long. Like I said, he comes back to stay and help out with his grandmother set up the Easter Egg Hunt. And he also ends up meeting a girl named Megan, who's really kinda bland to be perfectly honest with you guys. She really has no character other than that she exists as a reporter, who also works for her parents because they own a newspaper printing business that they operate. Beyond that, though, her character doesn't really go through any development. Also, the Krites are back and they're pretty much the same as they were in the first movie. There's not much that's unique about them. They can talk still, but there's only about a couple of words of dialogue that they speak and nothing else. I know that they can speak English, but for them to speak even less than they do in this movie is kinda astounding. I thought they would've taken more advantage of that, but I guess when you have a group of monsters that only care about eating stuff, then I guess talking isn't really much of their strong suits.

So, writing here is definitely an odd one. It's definitely a mixed bag here when it comes to writing. But I still think there is enough material here to where you can overlook any flaws that the story has and watch it as a simple little creature flick. Essentially, guys, this movie, and I'm even going to include the first film, is what I would call a popcorn flick. Where you go into it with your brain shut off and you just watch it for what it is, and you're bound to really enjoy it. And if you do go into it with that mindset, then you're basically set for a pretty cool flick. Now as for the acting, well, most of it is pretty good. The only one I would say that sounded rather flaky was the actress who was originally the playboy model also playing Lee, the bounty hunter. Although that's more so a nitpick, since she only had two lines of dialogue in the entire movie, and they were both literally the same line. So, I'm not gonna hold it too much against her, unless I somehow end up finding more movies that feature her. But for now, I'm gonna give her small bits of flaky acting a bit of a pass here. Everyone else, from the returning cast, and the new cast members do a pretty good job here. So I can't say much else about the acting beyond that.

Special effects are pretty much on par with what was presented in the first movie. And that's mainly because they got the Chiodo Brothers from the first movie to do the special effects for the Krites once again. And they're great. Puppetteering here is amazing. The blood and gore effects are really good. And mind you, these movies were on pretty low budgets. In fact, from what I looked up, the budget for this movie was about $4 million. Which, for the time that this movie came out, probably sounded like a lot. Although compared to today, that's almost nothing nowadays, since bigger movies have to stupidly reply on over-bloated budgets. But that's neither here nor there. Point is, I still think it's a pretty low budget, even for the standards of 1988. And regardless of whether or not that was high then, it doesn't stop the special effects from looking great.

Camerawork here is also great. The lighting here is lit perfectly fine. Sound-mix here is also mixed fine. Music, though, I will say isn't nearly as good as the first movie was. For everything this movie got back, they didn't get back David Newman, who composed the music for the first movie. Here, it's a pretty forgettable score. Which is disappointing to say, but I guess it is what it is.

So, when all is said and done, guys, am I able to recommend "Critters 2: The Main Course"? Yes, I can. If you were a fan of the first movie and you're curious to know how the sequel pans out, go ahead and check it out for yourself. If you go into this thing as a mindless popcorn flick, chances are that you're really going to like it. Now, I suppose I should stop side-stepping the question here and get right to it. Is this movie as good as the first one was? Honestly...not quite. While it certainly does more here in certain areas, the writing is almost as weak as the first one. At least with the first one, you can forgive it for being a knock off of "Gremlins". But considering this one's suppose to be a sequel to it's predecessor, I don't think it entirely accomplishes that. However, I am in no way gonna say that this movie is bad, it's just slightly weaker than it's predecessor is all. But now that leaves me curious as to what they're gonna do with a third movie. And considering this thing doesn't end on a sequel hook, it makes me curious about it even more. However, I'll save that for next time. For now, I think I'm in the mood to watch "Gremlins" again, because this movie got me thinking about it and now I kinda want to watch it again now. So, I'm gonna go do that next after I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Guns

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm going back to a series of movies that I put a pause on last year. It is the 5th movie in Andy Sidaris's "Triple B" series, which came out in 1990. And that movie is "Guns".

Now, for those of you who are new here reading this, I'll explain what's going on. Around this time last year, I reviewed a series of movies from a man named Andy Sidaris called the "Triple B" series. And these movies were mostly just low budget action flicks that featured sexy looking women showing off their boobs on screen. I watched the first 4 movies in his series, and they were all dumb, stupid action flicks that hardly took themselves seriously. And yet, I still wound up enjoying all 4 of them. Even "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", which I personally thought wasn't that great while everyone else who saw that movie ended up loving it, I still wound up enjoying for all of it's flaws.

So I decided that, since I enjoyed watching them, I figured it was time to check out more of what this series of movies has to offer. And as for tonight's movie, I don't really know much about it. I'm gonna take a wild guess though, and this is just a wild shot in the dark, that it has something to do with guns. Don't ask me why I'm guessing that, I'm just spitballing here because I could be totally off base here with that guess.

Anyway, while I don't know anything about the plot, I do know of two people that star in this film. One of them is Erik Estrada, which is an interesting choice, and I know he's starred in other TV shows and movies, so I'm curious to see if Mr. Estrada will pull off anything decent here. The other person I know who stars in this movie is Danny Trejo. And Danny Trejo's been in a lot of movies over the years, which are too many for me to count. So, that also ought to be interesting.

Beyond that, guys, I don't know what to expect from this movie, outside of the obvious stuff that I already pointed out when it comes to Andy Sidaris's movies. I haven't seen any trailers or clips for this one, so I'm going into this one mostly blind. I'm hoping for it to live up to the stupid cheesiness factor of the first 4 movies. I don't know if it will or not, but the only way I'm gonna find out for myself is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Guns".

16 minutes later

Holy shit...OK, so they successfully killed off 3 people. One of them, of course, being their target. And I probably wouldn't have an issue with this...except, they pulled this stunt off in broad-fucking daylight! Meaning that other people at this restaurant could've probably seen them in their ugly disguises as women and report them to the police. At least, that's what I'm thinking will happen. Because if not, then the witnesses at the restaurant are probably gonna be the dumbest batch of retards I've ever seen. My god, we're *barely* in this movie and I've already jumped into a logic hole, guys. That is not what I was expecting when watching an Andy Sidaris movie.

6 minutes later

So this idiot is actually trying to shoot at a flying plane with his tiny ass silencer from like 20 yards away, and all the while is on the other side of a moving car where his partner is driving. What the fuck is wrong with you, dude!?

6 minutes later

You know, guys, when I started doing this series, I wasn't expecting to see two women compete in oil wrestling. And apparently, one of them is also named Hug Huggins. That has to got be one of the worst names for a wrestler I've heard of in a long time. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

9 minutes later

So, guys, you know how I mentioned earlier when one of the retard assassins tried to use a silencer gun to shoot down a flying plane and failed miserably? Well apparently, Donna found the remedy by using a mini rocket launcher to shoot down an enemy plane. It's certainly a lesson to be learned, am I right, guys?

10 minutes later

Wait, is this footage from "Picasso Trigger"!? My god, it is. And I know it's from "Picasso Trigger" because it features the same scene I complained about back then where the fat guy and the blonde guy pulled over to the side of the road to shoot at a helicopter, only for them to get blown up by a bazooka. Why in the hell are we seeing footage from that movie of all things? This makes no sense at all, guys.

15 minutes later

So this dumbass ninja stands there for about a second or two after Donna says a really cheesy one-liner and shoots him in the chest. Gotta say, Jack has hired some of the dumbest fucking people if you can't even get ninjas to kill our main heroes. Just thought I'd mention that.

6 minutes later

Well, guys, I just found probably the most creative kill in this entire movie that involves a beer can and a grenade. It's creative, and I probably wouldn't be able to do it justice if I just explained it to you guys, so it's best you look it up for yourself.

The Review

OK...well, guys, that was "Guns". Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. Dear god, where do I even begin with this thing? I normally wouldn't ask that about an Andy Sidaris film, but this film is the first one I have to do that for. I don't even know where to begin with this thing. I suppose, maybe, I could summarize my quick thoughts right now on whether or not this movie is good. Well...I guess it's decent, I suppose. It's not really that good, but I can't say it's completely awful either. I mean, it has most of the same tropes from the previous films, both good and bad, yet it still is able to have the Andy Sidaris charm that was in the previous installments also.

So, as you can guess, this film is going to be a bit tough for me to review. And with that said, let's get into the writing here. Now, for those of you who've never seen any of the previous Andy Sidaris films in this series, the best way I can summarize them was that, again, they were really dumb, stupid action films that hardly took themselves seriously. And also, they were hardly connected to each other in terms of continuity. Which is, again, something that I didn't think I would be talking about when covering an Andy Sidaris film, but here we are. Anyway, the most continuity the previous films had, barring the first movie, was mainly involving the cast, specifically the two women who played our heroines, Donna and Taryn. They were the main stars of those movies. Donna actually does come back in this movie, though there's no mention of her partner Taryn, nor what exactly happened to her. Instead, she gets replaced with Nicole as Donna's new partner. And if you were somehow watching this movie first, and not any of the previous films, you would definitely not notice that. But as someone who has seen the previous films, it's something that kinda sorta bothers me slightly.

Speaking of which, while Taryn doesn't come back in this movie, Shane Abilene does. And if you'e not familiar, he was a part of the previous movie, which was "Savage Beach". But much like with "Savage Beach", he really doesn't play much of a role in anything important. He's in a couple of action scenes, which is certainly more than what he did in "Savage Beach, but sadly, again, he really doesn't do very much here outside of it. And I feel it's another case of what I talked about in my review of "Savage Beach" where you could replace him with any other member of the Abilene family, and you wouldn't be missing a thing about him. He's really fucking bland, which part of that could be attributed to his acting, but I'll get into that later when I cover acting.

Now strangely enough, Donna gets the most depth out of every character in this movie. Which is shocking, because she had almost no kind of character whatsoever in the previous movies other than looking pretty and showing her tits. But yeah, she actually does have something resembling depth in this movie. Because our villain of the movie, who is known as the "Jack of Diamonds", is the man responsible for killing Donna's father 10 years ago, and he also kidnaps her mother, who also happens to be the president of...something. I actually don't remember what exactly. She was either the president of local county or some kind of suite. I genuinely don't remember, and to be honest, it's not really that important. All I can tell you is that she is Donna's mother and she's not in the film for very long anyways. I believe she's only in the movie for, like, less than than 10 minutes or so. But anyway, this leads into a personal vendetta where Donna tries to get revenge by killing Jack and saving her mother at the same time.

One other scene I wanted to mention is the interrogation scene that also featured footage from "Picasso Trigger", which was the third film in the "Triple B" series. I asked why exactly was that scene included, and it's revealed that one of the agents that died in the car in that movie was the brother of the magician that's interrogating the two guys that were apart of it. And yes, believe it or not, one of those guys that was controlling the helicopter is the very same guy that was in "Picasso Trigger". Which is something that I didn't think that they would even go that much lengths to because, again, this is a series of action movies that features women topless and over-the-top action scenes. And yet, Andy Sidaris actually bothered to give out some continuity shoutouts to his previous movies. Is it unnecessary? Eh, maybe, since the scene didn't really provide much, other than to let our main villain know that two of his subordinates were killed by the magician. However, it shows that Andy Sidaris does care about his movies and tries to make them as cohesive as possible. Which, if you were to compare that kind of thing to how the MCU tries to fit in its own continuity nowadays, it's pretty damn sad and laughable when Andy Sidaris is able to outdo a once juggernaut series on how to properly insert continuity within it's own films. Difference here though is that the "Triple B" series has 12 films to work with, while the MCU is still shambling like the rotting corpse it already is.

But anyway, setting that little tangent aside, I should get back to writing. In terms of characters, aside from Donna and Shane, no other character has any real depth. The other character that has something resembling a personality is our Jack of Diamonds, who is also played by Erik Estrada. It's not much of a personality, but it is at least something. The story here is OK, I suppose, but there are a couple of things that kinda hurt it a bit. One, the story feels a bit bloated. There is so much going on that I'm not sure you would be able to grasp all of it on your first go. It really is something that you might have to watch a second or third time in order to fully grasp it. In fact, I think I may have to rewatch the previous films for myself since it's been about a year when I last covered these particular movies. Because they do bring back some characters that were probably in the previous movie that I don't remember at all. Which, again, for a series of movies about over-the-top action scenes and topless women, is something I wasn't expecting from Andy Sidaris.

So anyway, setting that all aside, the only other bit that hurts the film a little is the pacing. The movie clocks in a little over an hour and half long. Which I know doesn't sound long, but the movie honestly felt pretty long itself. It honestly could've used some trimming here and there. But it is what it is, so I'm just gonna leave it at that. Beyond that, guys, the writing here still does have that Andy Sidaris charm to it, though it tries to go for more of a thriller kind of story, what with I already talked about earlier involving Donna. And it kinda works, especially in the last 20 minutes or so. But for the most part, it doesn't completely overshadow what makes these movies work, as an Andy Sidaris project. It's still a dumb, stupid action flick, but it still kinda works in it's own unique way.

Now with all that said about the writing, let's get into the acting. First of all, I need to mention something that I kinda left out at the beginning. One of the things you have to know about Andy Sidaris's movies in this series is that he would often hire women who were Playboy Playmates to star in his movies. Dona Speir, who played Donna in the previous 3 movies before this one, is one of them. And much like with the previous movies, her acting is just terrible. Now admittedly, it's not as terrible as it was in the previous films, save for "Savage Beach", but it's still pretty terrible for the range that she gives out. But it's still better than the guy who plays Shane Abilene, who sounds just as wooden as he did in "Savage Beach". So I guess it's not that much of a surprise. The rest of the acting ranges on being a mixed bag. The best actor would have to go Erik Estrada, since he is the main villain of the movie, and he does a halfway decent job of portraying his character rather well. And as for Danny Trejo, well, I honestly can't gauge an opinion about that one, since he hardly had any speaking lines in this movie. It's certainly better than Shane Abilene's acting, I'll say that much.

But anyway, let's move onto special effects. And to be perfectly honest with you, guys, there's really not much I can say here about them. Most of, if not all of it, is pretty standard stuff in what you have seen in the previous movies. I'm talking about things such as pyrotechnics, squib work for the guns, and what little blood effects are present in this movie. All of it is pretty much on par with the previous movies, so it's just something you either take or leave with here.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is lit really well. But then again, similar to the previous films, most of it was shot outdoors. Although this time, instead of just being in Hawaii, they actually spend quite a bit of time in Las Vegas, too. So it's a change up of sorts. Sound-mix here is fine. The music here is really sort of forgettable, save for one song that plays at the beginning of the movie and at the end, and they're both the same song as well. It's pretty decent, so at least there is that.

So, with all this in mind, guys, can I recommend "Guns"? I can, but on a couple of conditions. First of all, I would say if you have seen the previous 4 films from Andy Sidaris, and you enjoyed them, then there's a good chance that you'll enjoy this one, too. Also, if you're someone who's into mindless action films, I would strongly recommend that you go into this one with your brain shut off, if you're someone who's not looking for a plot here. One other condition I would recommend is if you have to watch this movie, go watch the other 4 films first. Because this isn't exactly what I would call a good starting point if you're looking to watch the "Triple B" series. It'll just leave you confused as all hell. The only reason why I'm bringing that up is because from my own experience, seeing as how it's been nearly a year since I last watched these movies. But with that said, by itself, the movie is just OK, but I would say that it's not as strong as the previous films were, at least for me anyway. So with that said, I kinda want to go back and watch these movies again right now. I'm curious to see how exactly they've aged since I last watched them. So, I'm gonna go do that as soon as I get this review uploaded.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Critters

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 1986. That movie is "Critters".

Now I mentioned this movie way back during my review of "Munchies", when I was listing certain movies that were trying to cash in on the success of "Gremlins". And I had mentioned that I had never seen any of the "Critters" movies. Well, that's gonna change, because for the next couple of months, I'm gonna be reviewing all 4 movies for this series. Now I know there's technically a fifth movie, however, aside from owning the first 4 movies in a combo pack, from what I've looked up, it's more or less a reboot of the first movie. So, I'm not gonna be reviewing that one anytime soon. Plus, I don't own a copy of it anyways, so it doesn't really matter regardless.

So anyway, let's get into the first movie here. Now aside from what I've already mentioned about this movie already, I don't know much about the plot. All I know is that it involves some weird-looking creatures that probably terrorize people. And...that's kinda it, really. I have no idea about the content of the movie itself, but that's what I'm here to find out. I'm hoping that this movie will be a good start for this franchise. And the only way I'm gonna find out if it is any good, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Critters".

14 minutes later

Well, guys, I will say this much. The song that I just heard a moment ago sounded pretty good. And I also learned something new about these bounty hunters. Apparently, their green blank faces can also morph into whoever they want, too. I will say the effects for it were kinda creepy and messed up, but still, it was sorta cool.

15 minutes later

OK...so even though we haven't seen physically seen these creatures yet, apparently they're strong enough to mutilate a bull and nearly devour it's corpse. I gotta say, that definitely looked a bit nasty there.

8 minutes later

So these furry bastards can also shoot spikes from their bodies. That's actually really cool! I mean, granted, it probably hurts like hell, but at least it is something a little unique.

13 minutes later

OK, so even though they don't technically speak our native language, there's something really funny about one of them just saying the word "fuck" after one of them was just shot at by a shotgun. I don't know why I find it funny, guys, I just sorta do.

12 minutes later

All right, I have a bit of a dumb question here, but how exactly do these creatures grow in size? Is it because they eat a lot? Or is that just a natural thing for them? I'm really kinda curious now, because I don't believe the movie has ever given any sort of detail on how exactly these demonic furballs are growing in size. I'm hoping maybe we'll get something resembling an explanation soon. Until then, I suppose it would be a good idea for Brad to get the hell out of there and find some help. Though how exactly he's gonna outrun the ever-growing creature is something I don't know at this time.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Critters". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, where to begin with this one...? I suppose I can start by saying that this movie was pretty good. Mind you, it's not really a great film, and I'll get more into why in a moment, but I am gonna say that, just based on what I've seen, I am very interested to see where this franchise goes from here. So, at least I can say that much.

Now why don't we kick things off here with the writing. And I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the writing in this movie is, by far, the weakest point. And the first thing I have to talk about are the stars of this movie, the critters, or "Krites" as they're called in this thing. One thing I noticed right away about them is the lack of information about them. Now to give you guys a comparison, both in "Gremlins" and "Munchies", they explained about what those creatures were and how you should defeat them. With the Gremlins, their weakness was sunlight. And with the Munchies, their weakness was electricity. Now as for the Krites, well...they really don't have any specific weaknesses about them. They can be killed by conventional weapons such as gunshots or explosions. So while they do look threatening on appearance, they're not exactly hard to take down either. Well, unless they grow in size. Which then, yeah, they do become more threatening. The thing is, though, it only happens to one of the Krites, while the others never grow in size. Why exactly that is, is something that's never fully explained.

And that right there is my biggest problem with this movie is that these Krites come off as really generic and bland creatures. There's not really much about them that makes them unique, other than that one of them can grow in size and they can also shoot spikes from their bodies. Which is cool and all, but it's not really enough to make you care about them very much. The only semblance of backstory you get about them is that they escaped from prison facility that was set on an asteroid. Which then leads into our two bounty hunters, who I'll talk about later on, to go after and kill them. But aside from that, there's really nothing much about these Krites that makes them stand out as unique. Now who knows? Maybe they'll expand on them in the sequels later on, but as for their first outing, they just come off as being rather generic.

Which then leads me into talking about the characters. And really, guys, there's nothing much to say about these characters. They too come off as mostly bland and generic. Even the bounty hunters, who have the ability to morph their heads into whoever they like, don't have any sort of personality that makes them interesting. Which is really disappointing, because their first appearance looked really ominous and cool...and then they come on Earth and they also come off as really boring as a whole. The only character who has anything resembling a personality is Charlie, and that's mainly because he's just an alien conspiracy theorist. Which I know is not saying very much, but at least it's the most interesting thing about him. However, we are instead following Brad, our main child character, and his family, as they try to hold off the Krites that are attempting to kill them and destroy their home. Brad is basically an inventor of sorts as he can make unique weapons such as a flamethrower out of a drinking can and also has a slingshot, which was confiscated by his Dad early on when Brad lied about shooting at his older sister's ass while trying to cover for Charlie, who really was the one who shot at Brad's sister's ass.

But yeah, Brad is really not that interesting, in terms of child characters. At least the ones I've seen beforehand anyway. Now, you might think that with all of the problems in the writing, that I'm probably gonna say that it sucks or something. And obviously, that's not the case. Like I said earlier, I still think the movie's pretty good, and while the writing is certainly not as strong as I'd like it to be, I still think it is worth checking out. Because while the characters in this movie are pretty bland, the thing that sorta makes up for is that the movie kinda turns into a home invasion flick where Brad's family is trying to hold off the Krites as best they can. And you do sorta end up caring about them as they try to hold off these monsters. And the whole thing involving them is honestly some of the better parts of the movie. The only other negative I can quickly bring up is that the pacing for this thing is a bit slow. The first 25 minutes of the movie has almost nothing going on. It's only when the Krites spaceship crash lands on Earth is when the movie starts to get interesting for the duration of the movie.

Now with all of the problems I've talked about involving the writing, let's move onto the acting. And I'm gonna say that the acting here is also pretty decent, too. It's not great, as some of it is a little on the wooden side. Most of that comes from the actor playing Brad's Dad, who feels very wooden for a majority of this flick. Everyone else though. did an OK job. I'm even going to include the child actor playing Brad. Even though he sorta had big shoes to fill in terms of being a main child character, he did an OK job with the material that he was given to work with. And while it's obviously not perfect, I am in no way gonna say that it completely sucked either. So yeah, overall guys, the acting here is decent for what it is.

Special effects in this movie are really good. And one of the biggest contributing factors comes from the Chiodo Brothers. For those of you who don't know, they were the same guys who also did the special effects for one of my favorite horror comedies of all time "Killer Klowns from Outer Space". So when I saw their name credit for the special effects, I was hoping for the best when it comes to them regarding the special effects, and they didn't disappoint me whatsoever. The Krites in this movie, in terms of their design, look great. And the puppeteering is also really good. Now granted, it's not exactly on par with something like "Gremlins", however, it's still really good stuff, especially coming from the Chiodo Brothers. The blood effects are also really good. The sets involving the inside of the prison asteroid are decent, although they could've been better with some better lighting. But aside from that, the special effects overall are really good.

Camerawork here is also really good. The lighting here, aside from the darkly lit stuff I mentioned a second ago, is pretty good too. In fact, I'll also say that a good majority of this movie was shot at night, but at least most of it is still very viewable. Sound-mixing here is mixed fine. The music here is also really good, as it is composed by the great David Newman. So I kinda expected the music here to be just as good as some of the other movies he has composed music for.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, can I recommend "Critters"? For the most part, yes. As long as you go into it, knowing what to expect, then you're bound to really enjoy it. Now granted, the characters are all pretty generic and bland, as is our furry little creatures, but I still think it's worth watching, if at least just once. If you're someone who's into the creature flicks that are obviously trying to cash in on "Gremlins", then you're still most likely going to really enjoy it. Now obviously, I would prefer "Gremlins" and even "Munchies" to a certain extent, but "Critters" still has it's moments of campy goodness. I'm hoping that the sequels are gonna be just as good, if not even better than this movie was. But until then, I think I'm gonna go and watch something else. And seeing as how I talked about the Chiodo Brothers and "Killer Klowns from Outer Space", I'm gonna go and watch that next because I *love* that movie to pieces.

So yeah, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Lady Avenger

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering an action flick from 1988. That movie is "Lady Avenger".

Now I heard about this movie a couple of years back and I originally wanted to cover it in my lead up to my 100th episode. In other words, I wanted to add this movie to my 100th episode tournament that ultimately didn't go anywhere. But for one reason or another, I decided against adding this movie because I had already found more interesting movies to cover at the time. And so eventually, this movie kept getting pushed back further and further until I almost forgot about it entirely.

And I say 'almost', because recently, I had a sudden realization that I haven't covered *any* movies from YouTube for about a year and half now, so I figured why not find something on there this time? And I was looking through a playlist of movies that I've had my eye on for a while now, and eventually this movie popped up, so I finally decided to pull the trigger on this movie and see what it's all about.

Now, I don't really know much about this movie. All I know is that it's an action movie and that it's directed by a man named David DeCoteau. For those of you unaware, the man is essentially known for directing tons of B movies throughout his career. A couple of examples I can think of are "Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge", which was awesome, to "Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama", which kinda sucked. So he's sort of an uneven director for me. But then again, I've only seen about a couple of his movies, which were the two I already listed. So I can't say much about the guy's filmography yet until I've seen more of his work.

Which is a great opportunity for me, because I get to see if this one of his is any good. I'm hoping that it is, but I won't know for sure unless I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Lady Avenger".

3 minutes later

Well, guys, I am able to say one thing, so far. Even though I know you guys can't hear it for obvious reasons, this opening song here is pretty good, actually. In fact, listening to it more...it's really catchy, too. I'm hoping that it's a good sign of things to come for this movie.

11 minutes later

So let me if I understand this. This matron, who was assigned to look over Maggie at all times, suddenly decides to try and restrain Maggie, because she thought Maggie was going off on her own, even though there wasn't any indication of that. Moments later, Maggie *does* admit that she has "something to do", shoves her off and runs away. And the matron decides to fucking shoot her at Maggie's brother's funeral, which has already ended! And she missed, too, but that's besides the point. I'm gonna say it now, this matron is kind of an idiot for starting this whole mess, unintentional or no.

15 minutes later

O...K, well, even though the sound-mixing during that car chase could've been better, I will say that was certainly kind of an awesome way to end that car chase sequence. So, at least it kinda balances itself some.

5 minutes later

Well...just when I thought this movie couldn't get any darker, the girl who's eyes got cut off at the beginning of the movie ends up getting knifed by some guy who, I think, is suppose to be our main villain of the film. Not sure if he is or not, but it was definitely kinda messed up to kill someone who was practically on her death bed anyways.

7 minutes later

Once more, guys, I'm gonna say that the music in this movie is actually really decent. I love this old school late 80's rock track that's playing here. It's really fucking catchy, guys.

18 minutes later

O...K, why the hell is this lady taking off her clothes? I'm not totally sure what the point is to this scene, unless if it was just a cheap way to get in fanservice. Which is kinda underwhelming, if I'm gonna be honest here. All she's wearing is just lingerie. Which, for some people, they might be really into that. For me, though, again, it just kinda made that scene pointless.

9 minutes later

You know what, guys? No matter how many times I've seen these kinds of kills, it's always satisfying to see someone getting killed with a fucking flamethrower. It always puts a smile on my face.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Lady Avenger". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So...where do I begin with this one? Well, I said earlier that I was hoping for this movie to be pretty good. And you know what? It sorta is. Now granted, the movie is not great. Far from it. This movie is pretty flawed in a lot of areas. But despite all that, I still wound up rather enjoying it. I was pleasantly surprised by this thing.

So, let's go ahead and get into the review proper here. I'm gonna start, as usual, with the writing. Now, as with the case for a lot of action movies, the story is the one thing that's not really gonna be the focus here. Most action fans only care about the cool-looking action scenes. And to be fair, this movie does provide a couple of really cool moments of that, which I'll get into a bit later on. But when it comes to story, that's like the one thing most action fans don't really care for. Myself, personally speaking, I like a little more substance in my action movies. Though there are some exceptions here and there where I can let some of it pass, as long as it's entertaining. And I've stated this beforehand, I watch movies to be entertained. And that's really all I care about is whether or not the movie is entertaining. And this movie is another one of those exceptions. This movie doesn't really have an award winning story here, but then again, it's not really trying for one. This movie aims to be a cheesy, dumb action flick, and it definitely nails that aspect pretty well.

As for the story itself, well, it's pretty much a revenge action flick. Where our main character, Maggie, gets out of jail to attend her brother's funeral, whom he was killed by a gang of drug smugglers, along with his girlfriend that was the one who's eyes got cut out at the beginning of the film. And soon after the funeral ends, she decides to go the route of John Rambo and go after the people that killed her brother. That's the short version of it. The longer version of it is that there's drug smuggling involved, and there's a conspiracy involving Maggie's stepfather, who may also be involved in the whole drug smuggling scheme. And then you have him, who's with Maggie's mother and is also trying to get her to sign some sort of contract, which will give him the land that was originally gonna be inherited to Maggie and her brother. But it doesn't exactly go that way, since he keeps giving her medicine to, I guess, maybe make her really sick so that she can sign Jack's contract and he'll get the land instead. Or something to that effect.

Believe me, guys, when I say that most of this story doesn't really make any sense. I know the movie was trying to do more with it's story, but once you focus more on that and less on Maggie killing the asshole thugs who killed her brother, then it starts to become a little bit dull. And for someone who normally likes adding more substance into my action movies, this stuff wasn't really all that interesting to me. In fact, I'm gonna tell you guys, straight up, that the characters in this movie don't really have any kind of depth whatsoever. Jack is basically a self-centered asshole, Maggie's mother is really not in the movie very much to contribute to anything, and I could also say that about all of the drug smugglers in this movie. None of them are memorable whatsoever. Maggie is really the only one who you're gonna care about the most, since her character, even though it's a little more on the one-noted side of things, does get the most time on screen. It's not great, but at least it does give her some motivation on why she's out for revenge.

I could also mention the fucking cops who are after her as well, however, they are so incompetent at their jobs that it's almost hilarious. Basically, there were two moments in the movie where they could've just done the easy thing and call for backup. But instead, on both of those moments, Maggie escapes the police on her motorcycle. And what makes it even more laughable is that, at one point in the movie, she's at a bar, and the radio is playing the news where her boyfriend was killed, the girl who got her eyes cut out is dead at the hospital, and the police are after a blonde girl, AKA Maggie, for questioning. And yet, despite *all* of that, there's only two cops in the entire movie that are after her. Maybe in whatever bumble fuck city this movie takes place in, perhaps the police force has gotten so bad there that they only have these two lone cops on duty to go after Maggie. And they fail miserably because they're fucking incompetent as shit.

But still, even with those stupid moments there, it kinda makes the movie all the more hilarious in it's own way. I mean, as long as you don't try to think too hard about all of the issues that this movie has with it's story, then you could definitely find some enjoyment here. That said, this movie does have more issues. The acting here isn't really that good. Most of the acting here is ranging from either being over-the-top and hammy, which comes from the drug smugglers, or it could come from somebody else that isn't them, and they'll sound jaded and kinda shit. Case in point, our lead actress for this movie, who goes by the name of Peggy McIntaggart, sounds horrible here. When she's trying to sound emotional, it sounds fake as hell. And when she's trying to be all badass, it's honestly kinda laughable, especially when she gives out a certain one-liner that I won't spoil here. So yeah, Peggy's delivery here is pretty horrible. But in a way, it's almost done in a so bad, it's good kind of way. To where you could get a laugh out of her terrible performance, and still find it a little bit endearing. At least, that's how I see it, anyways.

Special effects in this movie are kind of on the low budget side of things. But again, this is from the same guy who's made a living off making movies that are made for almost next to nothing. So, the squib-work here is pretty standard stuff, the blood effects are OK, and pyrotechnics are decent at best. Speaking of which, the two biggest stand outs of the entire movie both involve the latter. The first one is right at the end of the car chase sequence which I briefly mentioned earlier, where the car Maggie and her boyfriend are riding in catch fire after a jump, which looked pretty cool. And the other is the flamethrower kill, which I still find really awesome, because I personally can't get enough of that, especially if it's done to a character I absolutely despise. So, special effects here, for low budget standards, are OK at best.

Camerawork here is pretty decent. Lighting here is OK. The sound-mixing could've been better, specifically for one scene, which involves the car chase sequence I already mentioned. Essentially, you have the drug smuggling thugs talking over each other, except you can barely hear what they're saying because of all the noise that's going on in the background while they're driving. And it's not like they're saying anything important, mind you, it's just them yelling at each other at random moments. Still, the sound-mixing could've been fixed there. Music here is actually something I'm going to praise this movie on, because I'm personally a big fan of 80's rock music, and the music that's presented here is really catchy stuff. I'm probably gonna have to look up some of the songs later when I get the chance, but I will say that if you're a fan of 80's rock music, then this movie will definitely provide that for you.

So, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Lady Avenger"? Yes, I can, as long as you view it as a mindless, popcorn flick. Where you go into it and you're not questioning any of the logic issues that the movie has, then you're bound to really enjoy it. For fans of action movies, I could definitely recommend this to you if you're looking for something more obscure to check out. As a revenge movie, it's decent enough, though I've seen far better, obviously. Another big positive I can give this movie is that it's pretty short. It's only about 82 minutes long, and it goes by pretty quickly. So if you have less than an hour and a half to spare, go check it out sometime when you get the chance. As for myself, well, like I said, I was pleasantly surprised by this thing. Part of me thought that it was going to suck, but thankfully, that wasn't entirely the case. It's certainly a flawed movie, but it's enough for me to overlook those flaws. Now...with that said, I'm gonna go and watch something different. Perhaps I'll just watch anyone of my Rambo movies that I own on DVD. Who knows?

But for now, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. And until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Silent Night, Deadly Night

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Reaction & Review "Christmas in July Special". Yes, guys, after skipping out on it last year, I finally decided to bring it back again this year. And what perfect timing as well, because I have found a movie that is perfect for this occasion. It is a horror movie from 1984. That movie is "Silent Night, Deadly Night".

Now, I've wanted to watch this film for the longest time. The only thing that prevented me from watching it sooner was simply because I couldn't find a copy of it anywhere, because it's a pretty hard movie to find on DVD. Well, at least to me it is. I did encounter it once before, however, I couldn't get it at the time because I was tight on my own budget then. And by the time I came back to my local video store for it, it was already gone. And I didn't think I would get to see it again. But luckily for me, I was able to find a new copy of it again, so I bought it, and immediately decided that I would cover it for this year's "Christmas in July Special".

Now, I don't remember much about the plot to this thing, other than that there's somebody dressed up in a Santa outfit that's out for blood. Which I know doesn't exactly sound like an original plot, considering that I've covered quite a few Christmas movies that had this sort of premise. However, as I've mentioned once before, when it comes to Christmas films, I prefer the horror and horror comedy aspects of these movies over the family friendly stuff that gets churned out more often.

I also know this movie has spawned a few sequels. However, I'm not gonna talk about that until much later on. Right now, I just want to watch this thing really badly, because I've been really curious about this movie for the longest time. I'm hoping that it will be really good, but you never know. There is a slight chance that this movie could totally suck. However, I won't know that for sure, unless I shut myself up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Silent Night, Deadly Night".

5 minutes later

OK, I have a big question here and I'm really curious about this. Was it common practice to bring your kids over to a mental facility back in 1971, even if it's just to visit their grandpa? I'm not sure that it is, considering that hospitals ban children from entering the building, unless if it's specifically a children's hospital. I'm wondering why that rule doesn't apply here to mental facilities? Maybe it's just for the times or something, but still, I find that incredibly odd, you know what I mean?

2 minutes later

OK, guys, well, I just learned something today. Billy's Grandpa is quite possibly out of his fucking mind. I'm going to assume something happened to his grandfather to be acting like this in the first place. But it also reinforces my point on why Billy's parents even thought bringing him to see his grandfather, inside a mental facility of all places, was even a good idea in the first place.

6 minutes later

You guys thankfully can't hear this for obvious reasons. But this song that's playing here is *completely* inappropriate. Well that and you thankfully don't have to hear this fucking crying coming from the baby either. But still, I believe that inappropriate song playing is totally intentional, too. I can totally believe that.

8 minutes later

Well, guys, it is official: Out of everyone I've seen so far in this movie, Mother Superior is already on the top of my list of people I want to see die in this movie. And I hope it's incredibly satisfying, too, because she fucking deserves it the most.

11 minutes later

Well, guys, I think it's safe to say that, even as an adult, Billy still has horrible nightmares about Santa Claus. Makes me wonder if the punishment he received as a kid during his time in the orphanage was even worth it? Probably not much at all, is what I'm guessing.

14 minutes later

OK, it is official, guys: Billy has snapped, and thus it results in the first two kills he has undertaken. I think I'm gonna love this thing, guys, I'm calling it right now.

5 minutes later

OK, that's sorta new. I've never seen anyone dress as Santa kill with a bow and arrow before. Makes me wonder why a toy shop would even carry that sorta thing to begin with? Well, regardless, it was definitely a unique kill. At least, to me, it was, anyway.

6 minutes later

O...K, well, guys I just found the most creative death in this entire movie so far. That was fucking awesome, man!

10 minutes later

So, guys, if the previous kill was the most creative I found in this movie so far, this one was probably the most funniest death I've come across so far. And for a movie that wasn't trying to be a horror comedy, this thing is making me laugh harder than it ever should. It shows you how much effort was put into this movie, and I'm loving every second of it.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Silent Night, Deadly Night". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Oh my gosh, where do I even begin with this one? Um...well, I guess if how I reacted was any indication, I fucking loved this movie. It is so fucking good that I'm obviously gonna rewatch it again upon Christmas time, along with all my other movies that I watch during that time of year.

But that's me just getting ahead of myself. Why don't we actually start this review off proper by first discussing the writing. Now, I'm gonna do a comparison with another movie that I reviewed not too long ago, actually. And when I make this comparison, you guys are gonna understand why I preferred this movie over the other one. Now, back in the beginning of July, I reviewed a movie called "Uncle Sam". And the reason why I wanted to cover that movie was because it was about a guy who was dressed up as Uncle Sam that went around killing people. Which sounded really cool, in concept, but unfortunately the movie wound up being really disappointing. One of the reasons why was because of the characters. Specifically, the main killer. The killer in that movie didn't really have much of any depth to his character. It was more focused on his brother, which, to be honest, wasn't really all that interesting, because his character was also kinda flat and sorta lifeless. It just didn't really do it for me and was one of the many reasons why I was so disappointed in that movie.

So, what does this movie do to with it's characters? Well really, the only one you're gonna be focusing on is Billy Chapman, our killer in the Santa costume. Most of his character comes from the trauma he suffered as a child, where his parents were killed by a psycho killer in a Santa costume. Which then leads into several years later, where he and his younger brother get taken into an orphanage. And unfortunately for Billy, the trauma doesn't end there because whenever it's the Christmas season, he gets treated horribly by the head nun of the place, Mother Superior, who essentially tries to "punish him" in her own way so that he won't get out of line during Christmas. The problem here, though, is that it doesn't really work. You see, I don't believe Billy ever got *any* actual treatment. I mean, like, he never went to a therapist or got any kind of psychological help for his trauma. And I believe, even though I sorta hinted at it earlier, that the punishments he received at the orphanage only increased his trauma against Christmas. And you can easily blame the other nuns for not stepping in sooner whenever Billy needed it the most.

Which then leads into his adult life when he turns 18 years old, and ends up getting a job. And it seems to be going fine at first...until the Christmas decorations go up and that's where we begin to see the slow uprising of trauma begin anew and eventually leads into him snapping entirely soon after he dons the Santa outfit, thus leading into all the killing he does. Now, if I can nitpick anything here, it would be 2 things. First, the whole transition from him being a child to an adult seems a little bit quick. I mean, it had only been 10 years since we last saw his horrible traumatic experience at the orphanage involving a Santa Claus, so how exactly was he doing for the last 10 years at the orphanage until he turned 18? And then I think back to what I already said about how badly he was treated as a child, and how none of the nuns there even considered to get him the help that he needed. So, I can write that off as just pure neglect on the nuns part.

The only other bit that I can nitpick is when he finally decides to go on his killing spree. You see, throughout the whole thing, he *never* covers his face, despite the fact that he's wearing the Santa outfit, along with the hat and beard. Why didn't he cover his face while he was out and about? I mean, if one person recognized who he was, then he could be in a whole lot more trouble than what he already is. But then again, I also have to consider that he spent most of his childhood inside the orphanage, so it's very well possible nobody would've recognized him as an adult. So, I guess it wouldn't really matter whether or not he had the beard on. Though it was something I considered at first because, usually, a lot of slashers I've seen usually would have their killer wear a mask of some sorts like Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. But this is the first one I've seen where we don't have anything like that on him. Which is...rather interesting, to be honest with you.

But anyway, guys, the writing here is great. What makes it even better is that you actually care about Billy. Both as a character and when he goes on a killing spree. See, even though he is our main killer for the movie, you actually do feel for him because of all the horrible shit he's gone through throughout his childhood. And while some could argue that he could've gotten the help he needed sooner, it gets even better when he finally snaps and starts his killing spree. I'll get a little more into this when I talk about the special effects, but I am gonna say that when he starts his killing spree, it kinda justifies everything that he's gone through to a point of no return for him. Which, in my opinion, makes his character so much better. And I feel like if it went the way I kinda theorized a moment ago about him getting the help he needed, it probably would've ended up destroying this movie had it chickened out that way. Which thankfully, it doesn't.

So yeah, guys, the writing here is amazing. The acting here is also really good, too. The only actress I recognized by name is Linnea Quigley, who's been in several movies that I've covered in the past. And she has a minor role here where, slight spoiler, she's involved in the creative kill that I mentioned way early on. Her acting here was decent, but the one who makes this movie for me is Robert Brian Wilson as Billy Chapman. The man makes this traumatic character work so well, and I'm amazed at how well he performed here. Especially during the moments when he's about to snap while wearing the Santa costume. He's great here. The only thing that kinda sucks is that this is one of his only major roles that he ever did. Everything else he did afterwards was kinda just supporting roles for other TV shows. I think it's probably because this movie didn't really do all that well in theaters at the time. Thankfully, with this movie being a cult hit, it has definitely helped some people realize how good of an actor he was in this movie. So yeah, guys, the acting here is great, and I'm thankful Robert Brian Wilson got some more recognition that he originally didn't get.

Now I can talk about the special effects. And the first thing I have to talk about are the kills here. Most of the kills here look really cool. Now admittedly, not all of them are super creative, as I've seen some of these kills done in other Christmas horror movies such as "Christmas Bloody Christmas", in which the killer uses an ax to kill it's victim. But the one thing that makes the kills here in this movie look great is that they feel effective. Such as when Billy throws this one guy out of the window, and you get to see a huge window shard stuck in his bleeding body. Or when you get to see Christmas lights being wrapped around a guy's neck. Those kills in particular look really good in detail. And unlike "Uncle Sam" where the kills in that movie were mostly done off camera, they actually show most of the kills here in this film, and it shows that this movie didn't cheapen out on it's kills. Which is amazing to see.

I want to touch upon the picture quality for a moment. You see, right at the beginning of the movie, they show a disclaimer stating that the studio that preserved the movie, which was Anchor Bay Entertainment, from what was cut from the R-rated version, which was then added to this movie to make it the complete unrated package. Which is great to see, however, the scenes that they show here, you can totally tell the difference from between when the film was cleaned up on DVD to the other scenes which have have been tinted slightly yellow. Because those scenes look like they were from the unrated version and they stand out like a motherfucker. Now, I'm not saying that they look bad. Far from it. But the first time that you see this movie, it will look jarringly out of place for you. Because if you had only seen the R-rated version and not the unrated version, then these scenes will look totally off to you on your first go around. However, as I've just mentioned, it's *only* the first viewing. Upon your second or third viewing, it's not gonna look that much out of place for you. But it *is* something I wanted to make mention of, since the version I watched was the unrated version.

Anyway, guys, the camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is lit fine. The sound-mix is mixed fine. And the music here is fantastic. Because, unlike the many god-awful Christmas songs that play every year, all of the songs that are provided in this movie are mostly original songs. Everyone one of them sounds great and if I had a playlist of Christmas songs that I wanted to listen to every year, I would add this, along with "Santa's Slay"s soundtrack, because the songs in this movie are just really good. One example I can think of is the main song that plays during the ending credits, which is called Santa's Watching, which is composed by Morgan Aimes, who also produced a lot of the songs in this movie. I seriously would recommend giving it a listen to at some point because it really is *that* good.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Silent Night, Deadly Night"? Oh, fuck yes, guys. This movie is amazing! As a Christmas horror film, it is quite possibly one of, if not, *the* best Christmas horror movie I've seen in a long time. The only one that comes close to it is "Santa's Slay", but I would probably place that movie as my second favorite, mainly because it ends rather abruptly. But with this one, while it does end on a somewhat rather bittersweet note, it's still really good. And on that note, I should mention the sequels that this thing has spawned. You see, when I bought this movie, it came as a combo pack with the first two "Silent Night, Deadly Night" movies. And while I can't promise anything about all of the sequels, I can mostly definitely say that I will be covering Part 2 during my "Christmas Special" later this year. And I can't wait for that one when I eventually get to it. But as for this first movie, I love it, and it makes me excited to see what they're gonna do with Part 2. For now, though, I'm gonna go and watch something different. I'm not sure what, exactly, though. Maybe I'll just dig through another horror movie such as "Stage Fright". Why not? It's been a little while since I last watched it so, I may as well give it another go.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review, along with this years "Christmas in July Special". Until next time, guys, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.