Reaction & Review | The Incredible Hulk

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to "Tales of the Longbox" here on Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a film from 2008. That movie is "The Incredible Hulk".

Now, I've stated this at least once or twice beforehand, I'm not a big fan of the Hulk. Mainly because, he's one of those over-powered characters that I never could really connect with. Whether he was a part of the Avengers or solo, he was one of those characters that I just could never get into. In fact, outside of a few appearances from other shows and movies, I've never seen any piece of Hulk media ever. So, that may give you an idea as to how much I don't care about the Hulk.

Now with that being said, why am I covering this thing? Well, it's pretty simple actually. Even though I'm not really a fan of the character, I have been pleasantly surprised before by other comic book movies featuring characters that I wasn't a huge fan of, and the movies that they were in wound up surprising me. Case in point, the two movies featuring Captain America were really enjoyable. Both the 2011 movie and the 1990 movie, as corny and cheesy as the latter film was. So, there is a chance that this movie could also possibly win me over as a fan, as well as the Hulk himself.

Now as for what I know about the movie itself, well, I've seen the trailer for it numerous times, every time that I pop in my DVD copy of "Iron Man", so I already kinda now what to expect from that trailer alone. I also know that this movie is also one of the biggest blackmsheeps of the entire MCU. One of the reasons being that this is the first and only film that stars Edward Norton playing Bruce Banner/the Hulk, before being replaced by Mark Ruffalo. Now as to why Norton didn't come back for future appearances is something that I don't know. Whether it was a contract obligation or something of a creative issue, I don't know. But the point is, this is the only movie that he's ever going to play as the Hulk.

So with all that said, I'm hoping for this movie to surprise me somehow and end up being really good. On the other hand, this movie could just be another reason I could add on to the pile of why I can't stand the Hulk to begin with. But I'm still hoping for something good here. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Incredible Hulk".

2 minutes later

OK, I know this is a very trivial thing to be commenting on, but as I'm watching the opening credits, they're showing all of these sighting reports about the Hulk. And one of them described him as a "Green Sasquatch". I've heard of Hulk being described as a lot of things, but I've *never* heard of him ever being called a "Green Sasquatch" before. That's definitely a new one for me.

11 minutes later

So, the one who drank the bottle with Bruce Banner's blood, that accidentally got into one of the bottles, was Stan Lee himself. I gotta say, that is certainly a creative way to insert his cameo appearance here.

13 minutes later

OK, this is sorta bugging me a bit, and it's part of the reason why I'm not a huge fan of the Hulk. So, Banner has been the Hulk for like, a couple of minutes now, and this Aussie is a part of the U.S. military to secure and capture Banner. And so far, all of the tranquilizers and bullets aren't harming Hulk at all. And yet, this Aussie is *still* trying to shoot at the Hulk! If you already know that bullets and tranqs aren't harming him, then why in the ever-loving fuck are you still shooting at him!? At this point, you might as well just fucking retreat and call it a mission failure, because nothing's working against the giant green monster right now. Just something to consider is all.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm really liking how they're trying to humanize Bruce Banner here in this scene with no dialogue whatsoever. It honestly is the best part of the entire movie so far and I'm really digging it.

19 minutes later

OK, I was gonna ask whether or not those vehicles were gonna use something like ultra sound-wave cannons or something. And, well...it's pretty close to what I was thinking about. Granted, they're not really "cannons" per se, but it's still accurate, regardless.

18 minutes later

Well, lesson learned, New York taxi cab drivers are kinda sexual perverts. I would say that this is shocking, but considering how much of a shithole New York City currently is right now, this is honestly one of the least surprising things to learn about.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Incredible Hulk". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Well, I am gonna start off by saying this. This is easily the best Hulk movie I've ever seen. Now granted, that's a really low bar to pass, considering that this is the only Hulk movie I've gotten a chance to watch in it's entirety. However, given what I've heard and seen from previous attempts of making a Hulk movie, it's probably the best one we're ever gonna get it. And considering how neutered the Hulk has been long after this movie, and that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is on it's deathbed, I don't think we're ever gonna get another good Hulk movie anytime soon. At least, that's how I'm looking at it right now, anyways.

So, with all that said, let's finally get into the movie itself here and actually talk about it. I'm gonna start with writing, and I first need to talk about the film's tone. Now, I'm not gonna repeat myself about why I dislike the MCU's usage of humor in their movies, because I've done that at least 2 or 3 times now, and I don't want to feel like a broken record here. So instead, I'm gonna first tell you straight up that this movie is mostly a drama. And for a character like the Hulk, it works beautifully. Because you really can't get away with telling a story about Bruce Banner controlling his rage and anger by forcing in awkward humor at the most unnecessary moments. It just doesn't work for him here. *Maybe* you could get away with that in an animated film aimed towards kids, but even then, it would still feel really out of place there. Here though, it works great. There's only, like, two moments in the movie where they try to do humor here. But for everything else, it's a straight-up drama. And again, a very well done drama at that.

I want to touch upon the characters next. And specifically, I want to mainly focus on Bruce Banner. Because, similar to what I covered in last week's Reaction & Review on "Conan the Barbarian", there's a couple of moments here where the movie tries to convey a story with no dialogue. The best moments of the film has to go to when Banner is at the university that Betty attends at. He sees the love his life, Betty, sitting on a bench, and her new boyfriend soon approaches her and gives her a kiss as they leave together. And throughout the whole scene, you get to see the look on Banner's face, where it's just *eating* him up inside that he may never actually get to see Betty again in the same way. Not that he was totally against the relationship, mind you, but the feeling of just holding her in his arms, for example, is something that he may never get to do again. And that whole scene was played out beautifully, and it demonstrates the humanity in Banner's character. And you really do feel for him, too, throughout the entire movie, because his character is written incredibly well here.

And I'll even include Betty here, too, because the same goes for her. Because when she first sees Bruce hiding out at a pizza joint that Banner was secretly working at, because he knows the owner there, she gets a sense of shock and surprise to know that Banner is close by. And then later asks Stanley, the owner, that if what she saw was actually real. And the relationship between Banner and Betty is really strong here because of how well written they both are together. Our other characters, unfortunately, are kinda shallow. the colonel, who's also Betty's father, is rather stoic and sort of an asshole. And the Aussie, who's also the antagonist of the film, is also rather bland and under-developed. Fortunately, our main characters hold this movie together, and it makes the film worth watching. So, in this case, I can accept strongly written main characters over the sorta weak writing that our antagonists get.

Now with that being said, let's go straight into the acting here. The acting in this movie is great. Everybody here turns in a strong showing, whether it's from Edward Norton and Liv Tyler, to the weakly written antagonists, all of them turn in an excellent showing for their characters. There is one actor, in particular, who I need to make mention of. It's during the scene where Banner, who's working as a pizza delivery guy, is inside the university, and he comes face to face with a security guard. And for a long time, the actor playing the security guard really bothered me because he looked *so* familiar, and it was just nagging at me as to who he was. Well, it wasn't until I decided to look up the actor's name, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was Lou Ferrigno. And for those of you who don't know, he was the star of "The Incredible Hulk" series that ran from the late 70's to the early 80's. Now even though I said that I have never seen any Hulk media, I do remember Lou Ferrigno being in that show. And I gotta say, he looks great, both in this movie, and even to his current age of being in his early 70's. So yeah, that was a nice cameo appearance from him here. But beyond that, guys, the acting here is great from everyone in this entire cast.

Special effects here are really good, for the most part. Most of the CG here, at least by 2008 standards, as well as it being from an early MCU film, is really good. Although I have to admit, some of the CG is a little bit dated here. Plus also, some of the shots here look really kinda fake. The biggest example I can recall is when Betty and the Hulk are under a rock during a thunderstorm. And while Betty's getting him to calm down and trying to get him to come under the rock, this shot looked like an obvious green-screen effect. Which, yes, I'm pretty sure that's what it's suppose to be, but I honestly felt like that shot, in particular looked kinda terrible. Now granted, it's a very minor scene, and perhaps it's just me that noticed it, so you really just have to take it for what it's worth. All I'm saying is that it could've used some slightly more polish here and there to make it look less obvious. But still, the scene, content wise, is really good. So I can't really complain too much about a somewhat dated green-screen effect.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is great. The sound-mix is mixed perfectly. The score here is also really good, as most of it is just orchestral. But again, for a movie about the Hulk, I think it works perfectly here. So overall, all of the technical stuff works fine.

So, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Incredible Hulk"? Most certainly, yes. Like I said earlier, this is probably the best Hulk movie we're ever gonna get, especially coming from the MCU. Now, when compared other films I've seen from the MCU, it is by no means the best, but it is certainly nowhere near the worst either. It's perfectly balanced in the middle. I'm not putting it up any higher than that because, well, my anti-bias against the Hulk is still kinda there. But still, I can recommend this movie to you guys, overall. It is a really good movie, and for Edward Norton's only appearance as the character, he nails it perfectly. And to be perfectly honest, I'm kinda happy that this is his only appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Otherwise, he would be forced into the dumbest shit possible involving the Hulk, but that's neither here nor there. As for myself, I may end up watching it again at some point, though whether or not it will be good enough to hold onto is something that I'll have to decide for myself. For now, though, I'm gonna go and watch something different. And by something different, I'm probably just gonna rewatch "Iron Man" again. Because, well, it's my favorite film from the MCU. So I'm probably just gonna go do that next after I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Conan The Barbarian

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to "Tales of the Longbox", here on Reaction & Review. Yes, guys, it's the start of a new year and this is my 5th annual "Tales of the Longbox" marathon as well. So, why don't we start things off with something a little bit different that isn't the usual kindle from DC or Marvel? Well...the latter is sort of a lie, but I'll get to that in a second. So anyway, tonight's movie, to kick off the new year, is a fantasy film from 1982. That movie is "Conan The Barbarian".

Now, I'm gonna be sort of bending the rules for this one. See, my usual method for selecting these movies for this marathon is that I would space things out between the comic book films that are published under different companies. Basically, I would pick out 3 movies from Marvel, 3 movies from DC, and a couple of independent ones. That way, everyone gets a fair chance rather than just one publisher over-saturating the other ones.

Well, this time, I'm unintentionally gonna have to slightly bend those rules for this particular marathon. I say "unintentionally", because when I picked out the Conan movies, I did not know that the Conan comics were mostly published under Marvel Comics. Yeah, apparently, the Conan comics have a *long* history of being published under Marvel. And that's probably my fault for not noticing this until the moment I started doing the minimal amount of research on this movie. But, I am still gonna count Conan as being independent, because the comics were also published under Dark Horse for a time, before bouncing back over to Marvel, followed by the rights being acquired by Titan Comics. Who, at the time that I'm writing this anyway, still currently own the rights to publish Conan comics.

So anyway, now that I've gotten that little snag out of the way, let's actually talk about tonight's movie. From what little I know about it, I do know a couple of things. First of all, I know that this movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger. And it's been quite a while since I last covered anything starring the man. The only two movies I can ever recall covering that he starred in were "The Villain", which was a Western comedy that I really enjoyed, and that god-awful "Red Sonya" movie that I reviewed a couple of years ago for one of my previous "Tales of the Longbox" marathons. So...yeah, Arnold's presence in this series has been rather lacking. So to make up for that, I've decided to not only cover this movie, but also it's sequel, which will be covered later in the first half of this marathon.

As for what else I know about this movie, it's honestly not a whole lot. I'm gonna take a wild guess here, though, and say that I'm probably gonna be watching an origin story about Conan the Barbarian. Which might prove to be interesting, though how it will actually fare out is a-whole-nother thing altogether. But that's what we're here for; To see if it will be entertaining at all. And I have heard mildly good things about this first movie, so the chances of it being good are, well...pretty good. But anyway, I'm just stalling here. Let's just see how this movie will turn out, shall we? So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Conan The Barbarian".

12 minutes later

So..,James Earl Jones just offed Conan's mothers head off, just like that. If that's not gonna fucking traumatize a kid, I don't know what will, honestly.

17 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm kinda surprised by how little dialogue there is in this movie so far. And we're only a half an hour into the film, mind you, but I'm actually sorta surprised that it found a way to tell it's story without using a whole lot of dialogue. That's actually really impressive.

5 minutes later

O...K...so apparently, the woman Conan was humping actually turned out to be a...succubus, I think. I'm not totally sure what the hell she's actually suppose to be, but I will say that honestly took me off guard a little bit. I honestly was not expecting that.

6 minutes later

OK, there is something genuinely hilarious about Conan punching a camel in the face, knocking it's lights out. I never thought I would see that kind of thing in a movie, especially about Conan the Barbarian, but I got it, and it was funny as hell.

11 minutes later

Well, guys, I am gonna say that the score here has been really good so far. There is a lot of music here, and it's overtaking the scenes where there isn't any dialogue. Mind you, I'm not saying that as a knock at the movie, I'm just saying that it works really well to it's advantage. So yeah, I can definitely add the music as a big positive.

17 minutes later

You know, I don't know what it is, guys, but seeing Conan wearing a robe's outfit like that looks goofy as shit on him. Like, so far, most of the costuming here has been really good, but then I see Conan wearing that outfit, and it just looks fucking goofy as hell on him. Just wanted to make mention of that.

14 minutes later

I am gonna say, guys, that these ghostly creatures here look really fucking cool. And the way that our heroes are battling them while trying to save Conan from, well, I guess, being taken into the astral world or something. I'm not totally sure about that part, but the effects for the ghosts look really cool, so at least I can say that much.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Conan The Barbarian". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, where to begin with this one...? Well, I gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised by it. I mean, I sorta went into it, thinking that it was going to be some cheese-fest fantasy movie. And while there are a couple of moments of cheesiness to be found here, for the most part, this movie is really solid. I definitely enjoyed this movie a lot more than I should have.

So, why don't we just go right into it here and start off with the writing. And I want to start off with the dialogue. Now, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that this is the best dialogue ever written to film or anything like that, but how exactly it's handled here. You see, this movie does something that I don't really see much of anymore, in which there's very minimal dialogue here. The best example I'm gonna bring up is the first 30 minutes of the film. Most of the dialogue in that first half hour is narrated by Mako's character, who's basically just a wizard, although you don't really get to know that until much later on. But anyway, the first half of the film is basically chronicling Conan's fall and rise, where he started off in child laboring after his entire village was killed off, save for him as a young boy. And from there, it's told through narration that Conan basically just became a warrior who killed so many people that his name became more well-known, to a point where he secretly gets freed by one of his captors because he was just held prisoner for so long ever since he was a child.

Now, what makes this first half hour really good is that, even though there is narration explaining some things, they don't do that throughout the whole thing, you actually get to see Conan's rise for yourself. It basically did something that I don't really see a whole lot of movies do anymore, in which they showcase "less is more". You aren't being told every single bit of detail throughout Conan's early years, you are basically seeing it for yourself as to how things play out. And it's honestly really refreshing to see that from a movie like this, where I hear a ton of movies nowadays that try to explain every little piece of detail about a story to you that you're not given the chance to see and learn things by yourself. This movie, at least the first half hour of it anyway, does a really good job in showing you how to tell a story with as minimal dialogue as possible.

Now that's not to say that the rest of the story isn't solid at all, it really is a solid story. It's very episodic, which is to be expected from a fantasy film, but it still works. Our characters here are very fleshed out, although, this is gonna tie into the only weak part of the writing. Namely, that I don't think any of the characters got any actual names. I know of Conan, because he's the lead character and all, but everyone else, I can't recall a single name that was uttered, if it all. I know of Mako's character being a wizard, one of Conan's friends is a thief, and the blonde woman being his girlfriend. And, of course, there is James Earl Jones playing our lead villain, but again, I don't recall his name whatsoever. It might've been uttered once or twice, but I honestly don't remember what it was. Again, the only name I know of is our titled character Conan. But beyond that, names are kinda non-existent here. Perhaps maybe when I watch it a second time, I'll try and see if I can pick up on any character names that I potentially missed, if there were any other names at all.

One other thing that I wanted to quickly comment on is the tone of the film. Now, being that this is a story about Conan the Barbarian rising to fame, and for anyone who has read the comics, it is a rather dark-based story. And while this movie does have it's dark moments, it doesn't lean too heavily into the darkish tone. It's not like, say, "The Dark Knight" where almost everything in that movie is about as dark and edgy as possible. It still has enough breathing room to fit in some light humor here and there, and it doesn't feel out of place at all. It sorta leans on being a bit cheesy at times, but like I already stated, it doesn't feel entirely out of place for a movie like this. I mean, you have Conan laughing and smiling at times in this movie, and it shows that he's not exactly the grim and gritty character like he was shown at the beginning of the flick. And if the movie had kept that tone throughout his character for the entirety of it's run, then I think it would've hurt the movie a little bit. I prefer it when a movie knows when it wants to have fun and didn't stick into being dark for the entire run of it.

So yeah, guys, the writing here is really good. And the acting here is also really solid, as well. There are two actors, in particular, I want to make mention of. The first is, of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is quite possibly one of his best performances I have seen from him in quite a while, and what makes his acting really good here is the fact that he doesn't have a whole lot of dialogue to work with. Most of his acting comes from his fight choreography, in which he will basically let his actions do the speaking for him. It's great, and it's one of those examples of actors who work better when given minimal lines, Another example would have to be Jean-Claude Van Damme, in case anyone may ask. But yeah, Arnold's acting here is surprisingly good. The actor I have to mention is James Earl Jones. While I don't remember the villain name for his character, the acting from him is also spectacular. But then again, we are talking about James Earl Jones here, a man who can take almost any script, good or bad, and turn it into solid gold. There is one bit in the movie that I wanted to mention about him, which was during the first 30 minutes. When you first see him, he says no dialogue, but it's the intense stare he gives to young Conan's mother that makes it all the more powerful. The man was a master at his craft, and when you see him give out that stare, it would send chills down your spine. That's how good he really was. And the rest of the acting is still great, too, of course. But Arnold and James easily makes this movie worth watching for their performances alone.

Special effects here are also really good. I'm talking about everything involving the blood effects, the costuming, makeup, and our sets. All of that is perfect here. The fight choreography is also really good, too. And also, remember those effects I mentioned earlier involving the ghosts? Well, I was wondering if it was possible that they used some hand-drawn animation, since CG wasn't a thing yet at the time. And sure enough, that is partially true. They were made by George Lucas's Industrial Light and Magic, which gave the effects of our ghosts here. And they look amazing! They seriously do. The on-set locations also look great, too. Guys, there's nothing more positive I can say about the special effects without beating a dead horse, other than that they are great.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is lit rather well. The sound-mix is, admittedly, kinda muffled in about a couple of scenes, and it's mainly scenes where we see Conan and the male thief, when they first get together and they talk. It's those scenes that are kinda sorta muffled and you really can't hear much of their dialogue. But everything else involving the sound-mix is all right. The score here is amazing. Most of the score here was done by Basil Poledouris, and a lot of it is just orchestral music. And like I said, it's fucking amazing, and it definitely makes the movie stand out a whole lot more, especially in the more quiet scenes where Arnold doesn't have very much speaking dialogue. Now whether that part was intentional, considering Arnold's limited acting ability, or not, it still works really well. So regardless, the music here is fantastic.

Overall, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Conan The Barbarian"? Oh, absolutely. This thing was definitely a surprise to me. Which is really saying something, because I had heard only mildly good things about it. Well, I don't know what exactly they said, but I can assure you guys, this movie is a hell of a lot more than mildly good, it's almost great. This is definitely one of Arnold's better movies, in my opinion. And I'm curious to see what he can do in the sequel, which again, I'm gonna review later on in this marathon. But I'll just have to wait and see for now. In the meantime, I think I'm gonna go and play some more of "The Legend of Dragoon" on my PS4. It's a classic RPG game in my eyes, and I'm still kinda in the beginning of phases of my 3rd playthrough of the game. So that's what I'll go do once I get done typing this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Godzilla 2000

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the final Reaction & Review of 2024. Wow, guys, I can't believe we've already made it this far, and I'm very happy about that. And I figured the best way to end this year would be to review something big. And by something big, I, of course, mean a Godzilla movie. And out of all the ones that exist, I decided to pick the one from 1999, which is called "Godzilla 2000".

Now, a couple of things I should mention. I do know that there is technically more to that title, where it''s fully called "Godzilla 2000: Millennium". However, I find that title to be slightly redundant, so I'm gonna go off by what it was called in the U.S. as simply "Godzilla 2000". While we're on this subject, I also am aware that this movie was also released in the year 2000...in the U.S. But with these sorts of movies, whether it be live action or animation, I go off by the international release rather than the U.S. release to try and be slightly more accurate to when it first came out.

Now setting that aside, I really don't know anything about this movie, beyond the fact that it's a Godzilla movie. And you know what? That's perfectly fine by me, because I really don't want to be spoiled by anything here. I really want to see if this thing will be really good, and the only way I'm gonna find out for myself is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Godzilla 2000".

8 minutes later

Well, guys, lesson learned. Godzilla doesn't like it when you take photos of him up close and personal. I think that would be sorta obvious, considering the guy just told her not to do so a minute ago. But still, it is a lesson worth noting.

15 minutes later

OK, I have a question here, and it's one I'm sorta curious about. So, Godzilla's on his way towards the nuclear reactors to possibly destroy them. And the head guy over at the CCI just told this other guy to shut down the reactors. And the question I have in my mind is...why? I mean, what's gonna stop Godzilla from destroying these reactors whether or not they're shut down? Unless they're made up of some kind of super metal, I don't think that's really gonna stop Godzilla at all. I don't know, perhaps I just find the whole idea of shutting down these reactors to be kinda pointless, really.

20 minutes later

So, guys, this movie hasn't really given me a whole lot to work with. I am gonna say that I am still enjoying it, so at least there is that. I'm hoping, maybe, that I'll have more to talk about as the movie progresses. But still, at least it's been decent so far.

17 minutes later

All right, I have another question here, and it's kind of a stupid one, but I still want to ask it anyway. So, this alien spaceship is on the roof of the CCI building, and it's sucking up all the data from it's supercomputer. And Katagiri has ordered the military to set up bombs from inside the building, which is also where the spaceship is at. So my question here is even if they somehow manage to damage the spaceship in someway, wouldn't it still get all the data regardless? Better yet, since this alien ship was able to destroy a few helicopters without even lifting a finger, wouldn't it just destroy the bombs before the military gets a chance to detonate it? I'm just asking, guys, because there are certain lapses in logic here that don't exactly make sense once you stop and think about it, you know what I mean?

20 minutes later

OK, that was a slightly weird edit there. The fireball from the destroyed spaceship landed on a table...yet the impact didn't land on it until a second later on the next jump cut. That was certainly odd, and not something I ever expected to see, especially from a Godzilla movie of all things.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Godzilla 2000". Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. So, where to begin here? Well, I think the best way that I can describe this movie is that it is a genuine popcorn flick. Where you go into it with your brain turned off, and you're guaranteed to really enjoy it. Now, I will say, first hand, that the movie is just OK. In terms of kaiju films, this one certainly isn't the best, but it's nowhere near the worst either. Again, it fits into the mindless popcorn flick category where you can just leave your brain off and enjoy it for what it is. At least, that's how I view a popcorn flick, anyway.

So, with that all said, let's actually get into the review proper here and talk about the writing. Now, in terms of a plot involving Godzilla, this one is probably one of the weaker ones here. Now, when I say it's weak, I am in no way saying that it's bad or anything, but it just feels like there's not much of a story here. There is something, but like I said earlier, it's not trying to take itself too seriously with it's story. I really feel like this was just made so that fans of Godzilla in the U.S. would have a new Godzilla flick for the new millennium. And being that this thing was released after the 1998 American Godzilla movie that a lot of people fucking despised, fans were wanting something better. And this was how we got this movie. Now, mind you, this is all just a theory, and I have no proof about any of this whatsoever, so you just have to take what I said for what it is. It's just a theory that I came up with, so again, make of it what you will.

Now as for the plot itself, what little there is, is that there's this alien spaceship that was sleeping beneath the surface for about 60 to 70 million years at the bottom of the sea, and when it was finally shown light, it finally resurfaced up to the surface. And the thing about this ship is that it doesn't really make a move until sunlight is exposed to it. And we find out later on in the movie that the spaceship is there to collect data from Godzilla so that it can reform itself into a giant monster. There is technically more to this that I'm leaving out, and I'll mention a little more about it in a second. But the abridged version of it is that there's a giant alien spaceship that is able to reform itself into a kaiju monster and thus we have Godzilla there to stop it.

Now, as for characters go, most of them are actually pretty likable, with the exception of Katagiri, who's the head of the CCI, which in case you don't know what that is, it basically stands for Crisis Control Intelligence. And the reason why I'm excluding him is because he kinda comes off as a little bit of a stale douchebag, because he really doesn't have much of a personality beyond that. Our heroes, though, are pretty likable though. In fact, they run something called the "Godzilla Prediction Network", which is basically them chasing Godzilla while trying to get photos of him so that they can study him for knowledge. Essentially, they're like tornado chasers, but only for Godzilla. Which makes me want to ask a bunch of questions about it, but I feel if I did that, then I would just be trying nitpick this story more than I should.

I do want to talk about one thing that I mentioned a little while ago, and it's something that I'm trying to avoid spoilers here on, though I don't know how to approach this angle. Well...the best way I can say this is that our main character, Shinoda, has been doing research on Godzilla, and found out, after an encounter between Godzilla and the military, that Godzilla has the power to quickly regenerate his blood cells, despite taking heavy damage. And he treats it like it's some huge discovery. But when I think about what he just discovered, I could've sworn that this kind of thing was already established from one of the earlier films. And when I say "earlier", I'm referring to the first Japanese Godzilla movie. Now, mind you, it's been years since I last watched that movie, so I may not remember all of the details, but I seriously could've sworn that they had already talked about that kind of thing from way back when. Now, if it's possible that I got this information wrong, then so be it. But to treat this kind of thing as it being a "new discovery" in this movie, it feels kinda off to me. Now, I kinda know why they wanted to bring it up here, as it entails a plot point in the movie, but still, the whole discovery behind it just seems kinda weird to me.

But aside from that, guys, the writing here is perfectly OK, as long as you go into it with your brain turned off and you don't think about the potential issues that this movie kinda suffers from. Mind you, they are very minor issues, but it could become bigger if you tend to think about it for too long. At least, that's the best way I can put it anyway. Now, what about the acting? Well, I went off by the film's English dub, and the dub here is a little bit on the weak side as well. Part of the reason why is because some of the acting here feels a bit wooden, and I don't know if that was done intentionally or not, but it is something that you're bound to notice. The other thing that I have to comment on is the actress they got to voice Io, the reporter for the "Godzilla Prediction Network". Because it's here where I have to warn you guys ahead of time that the accent she puts on for the character could be seen as rather offensive. Now granted, it was something I got use to as the film went on, but I do still have to put that warning there, just in case you're somebody who's not use to that sort of acting. Now that being said, there is, of course, the option where you could switch it over to the Japanese audio with English subtitles. So if you're not into English dubs, then the option is there. As for myself, it really isn't a good dub, but I have heard much worse, too. So, make of that what you will.

Special effects here, for the most part, are pretty good. Now, when I say that they're pretty good, I'm mostly referring to the practical effects, where it's things such as the suit-work on Godzilla, the pyrotechnics, and the miniatures, (what little is used here), and sets. All of it that is really good. What isn't really good, however, is the CG. The CG in this movie is kinda shit. Now, I will try and not be too harsh here because, from what I've read, this was the very first Godzilla movie to ever implement CG. And I will say that the way that they had to use chroma key to fit Godzilla into the backgrounds shots looks really good. However, the CG that they do use here...could've been better. The CG shots they use on Godzilla don't look as bad as it could've been, but the alien spaceship doesn't get a pass here because it genuinely looks terribly rendered. Like, *every* shot that you see the spaceship being used in CG looks terrible. Almost to a point where it probably would've looked terrible if this movie came out in 1989 rather than 1999. But again, it's really only the alien spaceship that gets the shaft when it comes to truly bad CG. Like I said, most of the practical stuff still outweighs the negatives here when it comes to the special effects.

Camerawork here is really good, though there is a slip-up in editing that I did notice. I mentioned it beforehand, but it bears repeating. So, after Godzilla destroys the alien spaceship, it's blown into chunks. And one of them is coming right towards our heroes like a meteorite. And just as it makes impact, it hits a table, and blows it up like a crater. And that would've looked great, if not for one thing. See, it does make impact, *but* there is a split second where you get to see the fireball glitch through the table, as if it was rendered in terrible CG. Either that, or it was just a slip-up in editing and someone forgot to look over it. I'm gonna go with the latter on this one, because I really think that, had it impacted like normal, then the slip-up most likely never would've happened. But I did happen to notice it, and unless you're a sad bastard like me that notices this kind of thing, then you're most likely not gonna notice it, or even care. So, it's really just something that you have to take for what it's worth, but it was something that I *did* notice, and I just had to make mention of it.

Other than that, guys, the camerawork for everything else is really good. The lighting is lit very well. Our sound-mix is mixed fine. And the music here is fantastic. It honestly is a great score for a Godzilla flick. And if anything else, I would say that the music is usually rather top-notch when it comes to these sorts of films.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said done, can I recommend "Godzilla 2000"? Yes, of course I can. Granted, the story here is rather weak, as is the dub, but I still think the movie is still worth checking out, especially if your'e a fan of Godzilla. For myself, I still really enjoyed this movie, flaws and all. So, I'm definitely going to be holding onto it. And also, again, as long as you go into this movie with your brain turned off and you enjoy it as a mindless popcorn flick, then you're probably gonna love it even more. Granted, I'm not sure how well that will hold over with longtime Godzilla fans, however, as someone who's barely dipped their toes into this genre of film, I'm gonna hold my ground on that. So anyway, yes, I can recommend "Godzilla 2000" to you guys, as long as you go into it with what I already said about it. Now, with that being said, I'm gonna go and rewatch my copy of "Gamera: Guardian Of The Universe". I'm in a bit of a kaiju mood, so I'm gonna continue the trend with that one, because it is really fucking good, as is the sequels.

And with that, guys, that wraps up the last Reaction & Review of 2024. For better or worse, the year has come to an end, and I hope next year will still keep this series going strong. So until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all for the start of a new year and a new "Tales of the Longbox" marathon. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Bad Santa 2

 

Merry Christmas, ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the "Reaction & Review Christmas Special". Yes, guys, after skipping this year's "Christmas in July Special", I'm gonna finally make up for it by actually covering a Christmas movie this year. And for this year's special, I have found the perfect movie that'll definitely fit that slot. It is a comedy from 2016. That movie is "Bad Santa 2".

Now, for those of you who may not happened to remember, about a couple of years ago, I reviewed the first "Bad Santa" movie during one of my Christmas specials, probably my second one, not totally sure. But needless to say, I loved it. I thought it was really funny, what with the humor and writing being very unapologetic and everything. I even dug the over-amount of cursing that the movie did, which, at the time anyway, I thought was overdone. But as I've watched it more often during my list of Christmas movies to watch, I really dug the movie's vulgarity even more. So, needless to say, I loved the first "Bad Santa" movie.

So, now that leads me into covering it's sequel. And I'm gonna tell you, guys, ever since I heard about it's sequel, I have so wanted to watch this movie that badly. And thankfully for me, I was able to find it. So, I'm genuinely exited to watch this thing. And as for what I know about it, well, the only thing I really know is that Billy Bob Thornton is back, reprising his role as Willie, along with his dwarven elf actor, and even the kid who played Thurman Merman is back in this movie, too. So, I'm curious to see what he can now that he's all grown up.

Guys, I really wish I could tell you more about the movie, but honestly, I have been avoiding spoilers and plot summaries about this thing. And yes, I could easily read what's on the back of the DVD case I bought for this thing, but really, I just want to find out for myself if this thing will be just as good as the first "Bad Santa" film was. And the only way I am gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Bad Santa 2".

4 minutes later

Well...we're certainly starting off a bit dark here. Granted, this isn't the first time Willie has tried to commit suicide, but this time he's actually putting his head inside a fucking hot stove! Dude, I know your life has been kinda shit so far, but I didn't think he'd actually go to that lengths to kill yourself. That just seems a bit much. Oh wait...never mind, he's given up on that idea, and instead is trying to hang himself with a cord of a toaster. Not totally sure how practical that is, but I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that it probably won't work. Just call it a hunch.

6 minutes later

You know, guys, I never thought I'd get a lecture from Willie on how to fuck somebody from behind. Mind you, the words he's using to describe it to Merman are funny as shit, but I never thought I'd actually get to hear that from him here.

13 minutes later

Well, guys, I am able to say that this movie, at least so far, has retained the spirit of the first movie. I'm really liking the humor here, and it, so far, is just about as vulgar as the first movie was as well. Granted, I'm not totally sure if it's as good as the first movie was, but there's still well more than an hour to go here, so I'm hoping that the consistency stays this way.

19 minutes later

So, after telling off Willie that Diane doesn't want to have sex with him, minutes later, she comes back and tells him that she hasn't had sex with her husband within over a decade. And thus, Willie is fucking her in an alleyway. Methinks Diane either developed Stockholm Syndrome, or she just feels really frustrated inside. Honestly, I couldn't tell you which, but I will say she definitely changed her mind pretty quickly there.

20 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm still trying to figure out what Thurman's purpose is for being here. I'm not talking about being in Chicago, I know why he went there. But, like, his general purpose for being in this movie. I'm not saying that I hate the character or anything, I just don't really see much of a point for him being in this movie is all.

12 minutes later

OK, I was *not* expecting that kind of singing voice from Thurman. I thought it would sound a little more deeper than that, but honestly, he's not too bad at singing. Granted, it's not great, and it sounds a little bit on the tone deaf side, but honestly, I've heard much worse singing, so I guess that's something.

The Review

And so, the movie ends on a dick joke. Literally, I might add. Class act, I guess. But then again, classy is the last thing I would ever describe this movie. I'm gonna go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So...what to say about "Bad Santa 2"? Well, I may as answer an obvious question. Is this as good, or even better than the first one? The answer to that is, well...no. It really isn't. Then again, the first movie was so fucking good that I kinda had a feeling that this one wasn't going to exactly live up to the first one. Now, I want to be clear on something. This movie is really funny, and I'll even go so far as to say that I'll definitely be watching it again next year as part of my list of Christmas movies. But, in comparison to the first one, it doesn't quite compare to it, but that's just more personal preference, really.

So, why don't we go ahead and start off this review proper by first talking about the writing. And, similar to my review of the first "Bad Santa" movie, I want to talk about the humor first. Because, I feel like it's gonna play a big factor on how I can recommend this film to you guys. Now, for the most part, the movie does retain the spirit of what made the first movie really funny. It's filled to the brim with raunchy humor, and we also have a ton of jokes involving sex, racial and toilet humor. All of that is there and it's guaranteed to make you laugh. Well, again, as long as you're able to tolerate this sort of humor. Myself, personally speaking, I love it, and I even got a couple of hysterical laughs out of it. It really is funny, especially when the jokes land. Now granted, not every joke here does land perfectly. There are a couple of times when characters will repeat the same shtick, such as when Thurman asks Willie if he can make him a sandwich. Which, to be fair, wasn't really all that funny in the first movie when Thurman's grandmother kept doing that, and they do thankfully cut that joke short here in this movie, but it sorta happens now and then. And then there's the other moment where Willie's mother keeps calling him a "shitstick". Which also kinda got old, but again, it was also sorta brief. So, I can at least grant the movie that it knows when to cut back on repeated jokes.

Oh yeah, did I mention? Willie's mother is apparently in this movie, and she plays a big part in this, as she enlists her son's help, along with Marcus, to steal money at a children's charity event in Chicago. And since the money's in a hard-to-crack safe, well, Willie's the only one who can really do it. Not only that, but it's also here where I have to talk about the characters here, because this movie goes in a similar route, where it's focused less on the story and more on the character relationships. And most of that is between Willie and his mother. Willie's mother's depth in this movie is rather decent, as she partly wants to go on one last heist with her only family member before she leaves for Mexico. Of course, Willie being Willie, doesn't really care about that part and is only in this for the job. But he still, in his own way, cares for his mother as she's seen coughing quite a bit in this movie, and. at one point, he actually goes inside a store to steal some cough medicine for her. So, the movie tries to show more of Willie's empathy in this movie, despite the fact that he's just a lowlife drunk, to put it lightly.

And I guess that brings me to the other side of the characters, which would be Thurman Merman. I asked earlier why he was even in this movie, since he really didn't have much of a purpose to begin with. Well, the movie kinda actually answers that question by saying that Thurman wanted to give Willie a gift in case he felt alone during Christmas. Which is very thoughtful of him, but I still feel like he already had his moment in the first movie, where it was much better handled about why Thurman, as a kid, was always around Willie, even though he wasn't the real Santa Claus. Here, I feel like they tried to do something again with him here, but it sorta gets in the way, because Willie's mother gets more of the depth rather than Thurman. And I felt like he was only in this movie just so that we can have another recurring character come back for the sequel. Which I get, to a degree, but you still gotta do something interesting with him. And unfortunately, I felt like the movie sorta dropped the ball a little bit here on that front.

But with that, guys, the writing here, while not as sharp as it was in the first movie, *is* still pretty good here. And the comedy is still really funny, too. So I can't really fault the movie too much here for somewhat mishandling some of the character depth. But what about the acting? Well, the acting here is great. Billy Bob Thornton is still fucking amazing as Willie, and so is Tony Cox as Marcus. And as for Brett Kelly as Thurman Merman, he actually does a rather good job, given the time from the first movie where he was a child to now where he's 21 in this movie. While his character in this movie is very underutilized, Kelly still did a good job with the material he was given. So I can say that he did sorta live up to my expectations. But the one who makes this movie that isn't Billy Bob Thornton, is his mother, played by Kathy Bates. She fucking nails it, as her personality is almost bit for bit the same personality as Willie's. So, I gotta hand it to her the most, since she was the big star of this movie. Everyone else is the same too. So, without further beating a dead horse here, the acting was definitely top notch.

Our sets here are great. The costuming here is also really good. There's actually something in the movie that I wanted to comment on, and it was something that I actually didn't know about. Apparently, according to this movie, there's something called SantaCon. And, at first, I thought this was just some made up event just for this movie. Well, it turns out that it's actually a real thing, and it's been going for just about 30 years now. Which, I gotta say, for hearing about this for the first time, that's actually really impressive. And I'm wondering if the filmmakers used this event to help film a certain scene in the movie, which I'm not going to spoil. But whatever the case may be, the event is basically just a bunch of people dressed up in Santa suits getting together and having fun. And that's where most of the costuming comes in, mainly. There is also a moment where Marcus is dressed up as an elf again, like in the first movie. But other than that, most of the other costumes are just Santa suits. So yeah, costuming here is great.

Camerawork here is also really good. The lighting is lit perfectly. The sound-mix here is mixed fine. The score and soundtrack here is just mainly Christmas songs. And again, I will say that Therman Merman, or his actor anyway, has a surprisingly decent singing voice to him that I never thought that was actually possible. But then again, you do learn something new everyday, don't ya? But anyway, the soundtrack is OK. Though, personally speaking, and this has nothing to with the movie's usage of Christmas music, but having to hear it so much often at my workplace this year, I'm personally sick and tired of it. So, setting aside that, the music that they got here is perfectly fine, and it's to be expectant from a movie involving Christmas and whatnot.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, can I recommend "Bad Santa 2"? Honestly, yes. While I will admit that this movie is nowhere near as good as the first one was, there is still something here that you'll guaranteed to get a laugh out of, and, like I said, I got quite a few laughs out of this thing. And, to me, is worth checking, if at least just once. I'm probably gonna be watching this again as part of my yearly tradition of Christmas movies to watch, because I still really enjoyed enough to hold onto. And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm probably just gonna go and rewatch the first "Bad Santa" movie again, just so I can continue watching Billy Bob Thornton being awesome in that movie. So yeah, guys, again, I can definitely recommend this movie to you guys, flaws and all.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of this year's "Reaction & Review Christmas Special". Until next time, ladies and gentleman, take care, and Merry Christmas to you all. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Matango

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out a Japanese horror film from 1963. That movie is "Matango".

Now, originally, when I read first read that title on the DVD case, I honestly thought it was called "Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People", since it had that surname. Which would've sounded like a really cheesy, goofy, yet sorta awesome title at the same time. Because sometimes, those sorts of names really do catch your eye, especially if you're into these sorts of oddball movies like I am. Sadly though, that's not the case here. Instead, the "Attack of the Mushroom People" name was used to release this movie in the U.S. as a TV film in 1965. Now what's a little strange about this is the fact that there *is* an English dub for it, but nobody knows when it was actually released. I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say *maybe* it was released in between 1963 and 1965. Again, that's just a guess I'm making there, so make of that what you will.

So, setting all that aside, what do I know about tonight's movie? Well, a couple of things. First of all, it was distributed by Toho, the same company that releases all of the Godzilla movies. And the other thing I know about this movie is that it was almost banned in Japan entirely, mainly because the makeup effects on the actors faces supposedly resembled the disfigurements of the victims from the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. Now, in a way, I can kinda understand the reasoning behind it, because it only happened 18 years ago at the time of this movie's release. And, well, Japan is still very sensitive about that sort of subject for obvious reasons. So, I'm not about to claim that whether or not the decision regarding this reasoning was right or wrong.

Having said that, though, this movie did eventually get released, and I already explained how, so I'm not about to repeat myself there on that front. So, I'm hoping for this movie to be pretty good. I don't know if it will be or not, but that's what this series is here for. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Matango".

7 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe I can start off by saying that this English dub here is kinda shit so far. I mean, granted, our dubs weren't really good at all back during those days, but this dub is just kinda proving that, since most of the acting here sounds incredibly wooden. I'm hoping, maybe, that I'll get use to this really wooden acting, but I'm not totally sure if I will.

19 minutes later

All right, guys, now that we're almost a half an hour into the movie, I'm gonna ask this. When exactly does it start to get interesting? I'm asking this, because this thing is becoming incredibly boring so far. I get that the movie is trying to soak you into it's atmosphere. But honestly, it's really not that impressive to look at. And I'm just hoping that, maybe, this movie will start to pick up soon and we can actually get our plot rolling here. As of right now, though, I'm slowly beginning to lose interest.

20 minutes later

Seriously, guys, I want to know, *when* does this movie actually start to get interesting? I have been patient now for quite a while, and my patience is beginning to wear thin on how dis-interesting this movie has become. I'm not sure if the next half of the movie is even going to get any better. I'm hoping it does, but at this rate, I'm beginning to lose hope here.

9 minutes later

Wait wait wait, wait a second here! So, that encounter they had with the unknown creature last night was real. And they all acknowledge that it happened. OK then, so...what *did* happen last night? Because, they showed the creature opening the door, and after that, the scene transitioned to them having breakfast the next morning, as if what happened last night...never actually happened! Did I miss something here? Because that scene made no fucking sense whatsoever, because no one said anything about it up until now. Guys, I'm at the point where I'm not even gonna question this thing anymore because not only has it been boring as shit, but now it's decided to not make any sense. I hope it does soon, but at this point, I really don't think it's going to.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Matango". And thank Christ, this thing is fucking over. Let me shut this garbage off here...OK. Wow, that was...massively disappointing. I don't think I've ever been this disappointed about a movie in a very long time, but this...yeah, this one definitely fits the disappointing category.

So, I guess, without further delay, I may as well get into this review proper by first discussing the writing. Now I will say that the plot here is very simple, in concept anyway. We have a group of people shipwrecked on a mysterious island where it's inhabited by strange-looking mushrooms, and they have to try and survive by looking for food on the island, while also trying to find a way off the island while they're there. And at the same time, they also get to learn more about the true nature of the island and the mushrooms in general. So yeah, like I said, the plot here is pretty simple. OK sure, it's not entirely an original plot, but at least it is easy to understand...for the most part, anyway. I'll get a little more in depth on this later, but I will say that it could've worked, had the script for this thing been written better, and had the story been more interesting.

But that becomes a problem right there, because this movie is just so *painfully* dull, to where almost nothing of interest happens here. The movie tries to build some level of suspense, but like I said, most of it doesn't amount up to anything, and what they do try to build up doesn't really make any sense. And aside from all that, most of the movie is just our characters trying to find food to survive or just them resting inside a ship that they found on the island to make themselves at home, and to be honest with you, guys, it's really boring to watch, because, like I already said, nothing really happens here. Which brings me into another point in which I'll say that the pacing in this movie is just *bad*. This movie has so much padding here that they really could've cut out a lot of it and the film would've flowed better. I'm not saying that it would've been great, but it could've been a much better paced movie.

Speaking of which, let's actually talk about that scene I mentioned earlier that made no sense at all. So, around the halfway point of the film, we see one of these fungus-looking creatures sneaking aboard the ship. One of the crew members in red discovers the creature, and starts to run away from it, reuniting with the other characters. This leads into them fortifying their defenses, and when the creature opens the door, we actually get a first look at it...and then the scene suddenly fades to black, transitioning it into them having breakfast together. Again, I ask, what exactly happened with the prior scene? Was there some sort of fight sequence that I missed? My original thought was that our characters somehow ended up killing the creature, and used it's remains to have their breakfast. Which, thinking about it now, would've been a really stupid idea, considering you don't know where this creature came from to begin with. But during the breakfast, nobody ever brought that up! And then I thought maybe there was a deleted scene in which it never made it to TV broadcast and that I would hope to find it on the DVD extras. But again, that's not the case because, one, there are no extras involving deleted scenes on the DVD. And two, the scene doesn't get mentioned until nearly 10 minutes later! Which, again, begs the question of what exactly happened the night before where they first fully encountered that creature? Sadly, we never get to see that. So really, the scene is left very poorly up to interpretation.

Another thing that this movie fumbles upon is the characters. Now you think that with a movie like this that's centered around our characters trapped on a mysterious island, that you would care about these characters struggles as they try to survive, but unfortunately, this movie doesn't really execute that well at all. Every character here is very shallow and flat, in terms of both personality and depth. In fact, I could barely remember their names, save for Kasai, Yoshida, and Mirei. And even then, their characters are all flat and lifeless. The only traits I could pick up from most of them was that one of them is a singer, AKA Mirei. Yoshida, who I *think* is suppose to be a writer but I honestly don't remember. Kasai, who's just part of the crew. Another one is the skipper, we have our main character, who I honestly don't remember *anything* about him, and another girl who tends to act sickly a lot. And that's it. That is *all* for character depth and personality. None of them give you a reason to care about them, and their motivations, half the time, don't make any sense at all. Which kinda makes sense, considering how the story itself makes little to no sense, despite having a simple premise.

So yeah, guys, writing here is terrible here from every direction that this movie goes into. Now while I'm kinda sorta on the subject, the acting for this dub is terrible as well. I kinda had a feeling that it wasn't going to get any better the moment that I mentioned the dub being kinda shit, and well, unsurprisingly, it didn't get any better. Most of the acting here is very wooden, and any attempts to give out some sort of emotion for these actor's dialogue just comes across as being very stilted and phoned in. Now again, I totally understand that dubs like these back in the day, we didn't care if they were terrible, we just put them out there and leave it at that. But I feel like this dub is probably one of the worser ones out there. I can't even say that this movie's dub is so bad it's laughable, it's just...terrible. Now the good news here is that, if you seriously want to watch this thing, there is an option on the DVD where you can switch it over to the subtitles with it's original Japanese audio. So, at least there's that, and it might make for a somewhat lesser painful experience. Granted, that's not saying a whole lot, but at least it is something.

Special effects here are actually halfway decent. The makeup effects you see here, whether it's that creature I mentioned earlier, or the makeup effects involving the actors being turned into mushrooms, that stuff looked genuinely decent. Now granted, I can't really judge if the criticisms involving the makeup effects are accurate to what I talked about at the beginning of this R&R, but I honestly don't care and I don't feel like it should affect the overall film. I'll just leave at that by, again, stating that the makeup effects are decent. The costumes on the mushroom people look OK too, though admittedly, they're not really in the movie for that long. Which is honestly rather disappointing, considering the title and all. But setting that aside, the sets here involving the island actually look really good. Admittedly, I don't know how much this movie was going for in terms of it's budget, but I'm gonna take an estimated guess and say it was probably on the lower side. So anyway, the special effects, overall, I can say range on being rather decent.

Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting here is lit very well. But then again, a lot of this movie was shot outdoors, considering the setting of this movie and all. So there is that. Sound-mix here is mixed pretty well. The score, though, honestly kinda ranges on being forgettable to kinda shit. I say that, because this movie uses quite a bit of synth music, and it's really not the good kind of synth music that's interesting to listen to. Beyond that, I really can't say much else about the music here, so I can probably put that one on the negative side of things.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Matango"? Personally no, because I really think this movie is just so poorly written. And I don't really think that, even if you switched it over to the Japanese dub, it will make the movie that much better. That being said, there might just be one way that I could recommend this film to anyone. I'm mostly gonna recommend this thing to stoners. And the reason why I'm targeting them is because this movie tries to go for the psychedelic mindset, when it comes to the mushrooms in this movie. I won't spoil too much about it, but there is a sequence or two involving them. So, stoners, if you're looking for a kind of film that you can get high off of, then knock yourself out with this one. You might honestly really enjoy the movie much better if you were high off your ass. But for everyone else...no. You can just skip this one. There really isn't anything here that will grab your interest, since this movie is mostly boring as shit anyways. Now, as for me, I'm probably gonna go and watch something better. Perhaps maybe I'll just watch something like "Gremlins". It's kind of a weird film, but definitely a classic one, too. So I'm gonna go do that next and hopefully get this movie's memory wiped away from my mind, the sooner the better.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Dead Snow

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 2009. That movie is "Dead Snow".

So, similar to a few other genres of film that I haven't covered in a while, movies about zombies are another one on that list. And there is kind of a reason as to why. The main reason being that I'm still sick and tired of zombies, even after all this time. And I probably should be over that fad by this point, but you should also understand that, in case you weren't around then, zombies were fucking everywhere around the early 2010's. I would say it probably started around 2010, and the fad for them died around the middle of 2014. Mind you, that is just an estimated guess, but my point still stands. Zombies aren't really something that I'm all excited for, especially films involving them.

So, exactly why now am I covering this thing? Well, as much as I'm not really that big a fan of zombie movies, I do enjoy horror comedies, as long as they're funny, anyway. And I've heard a lot of good things about this movie. Now as for what I know about it, all I can tell you is that it involves Nazi zombies. Which sounds pretty cool. I mean, hey, if you're gonna do a zombie film, why not include Nazi's and make them zombies as well? It sounds really promising on paper.

So, I'm hoping for this thing to be as great as from what I've heard about it. Of course, I have been proven wrong before from people who say that a movie's great, and when I eventually watched this supposed great movie...it really wasn't that great. But still, I am holding out hopes for this one on being great. And the only way I'm gonna find out if it is great at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Dead Snow".

14 minutes later

So, Martin was suffocating his girlfriend with a pillow...and I'm not totally why he was doing that. I mean, he didn't have any real malicious intent, as he was obviously joking, but I'm still not totally sure why he did that to begin with. I could maybe understand if this was part of his training on wanting to become a doctor, but no, at least not as far as I could see, anyway.

14 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm *really* liking the amount of tension that's being built up in this movie. It's actually doing it in a way in which I honestly can't wait to see what happens next!

8 minutes later

So, all of our characters are messing around with the gold that the movie nerd found. Yet, also earlier, it was Martin who suggested to keep the gold inside the wooden box until Vegarde finds Sara. My guess is that they all got tired of waiting, or they're currently busy being drunk to not care about that rule. Either way, I guess Martin's suggestion didn't really matter much, now did it?

12 minutes later

Well, damn, that kill looked rather brutal, as one of our Nazi zombies crushed the guy's head off like a melon! That was pretty cool, I must say.

11 minutes later

You know, I never thought I'd ever say this about a zombie anything, but that's probably the first and only time I've ever seen someone hanging from a cliff by holding onto a Nazi zombie's intestines as rope. That's actually really creative, and I don't think I would've ever came up with something like that myself.

7 minutes later

OK, that was probably the shittiest-fucking throw I have ever seen in almost any movie ever. That's gotta be a record for something, right? Because, I'm having a hard time trying to think up of any other instance where something like that might've happened, but no, I can't think of anything. So yeah, I can say that was probably the worst throw ever.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Dead Snow" Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. Well, I gotta say that, after finally getting a chance to watch this thing, I'm actually kinda surprised. I had heard good things about it, sure, but I still wanted to lower my expectations a bit, considering that I somewhat hate it when someone hypes up a movie so much to a point where it either doesn't live up to it, or it just flat out sucks. Well, I can say that the movie is actually pretty good for the most part. Mind you, it isn't a great movie, but I will get into all of that in a second here.

Right now, though, I may as well just start things off by talking about the writing here. And the first thing I want to talk about is the movie's humor. Now, as I said earlier, this thing is suppose to be a horror comedy about Nazi zombies. And I'm totally cool with that, as long as you do something interesting with it while also being funny at the same time. And it certainly does have it's hilarious moments. However, I feel as if this movie doesn't really lean too much into the comedy here. Now let me reiterate again by stating that the movie *is* certainly really funny. But most of the comedy in this movie doesn't really kick in up until the last half hour of the movie or so. For the most part, the movie tries to play it up as straight as possible. Now perhaps maybe I'm somehow misinterpreting in someway. Maybe it's because that it's trying to play itself up as being straight up that it somehow makes the whole movie even funnier. Which, it *could* be possible, and perhaps maybe if I watch this thing a second or third time, I might be able to see more of the comedy that's missing here. But as it is, most of that is, like I already said, regulated into the last half hour of the film. Which is a bit too long, if you ask me.

Speaking of which, let's get into the second problem that this movie suffers from, which is the pacing. This movie has a bit of a slow boil going on. And for, like, the first 40 minutes or so, nothing really much happens here. We got about a couple of kills here and there, but they're very spaced out. We also get exposition about the Nazi's from this old guy who appears one time in the movie, and completely disappears afterwards to never be seen again. And aside from that, most of that is just our characters messing around inside their cabin. Which isn't really all that interesting to be perfectly honest here. And the fact it took a little over 40 minutes for the movie to get interesting is what sorta dampers the film a bit. Now I will say that after the first 40 minutes goes on by, the movie actually does start to really pick up from there. It's just you have to have a bit of patience with the first 40 minutes of film if you want to get into the more interesting stuff afterwards.

Our characters aren't really all that interesting, personality wise. I honestly couldn't even remember half of the characters names, because most of them are that forgettable. The only one that I can remember by name is Martin, who's also the only character I can remember as well, since he's the guy who wants to become a doctor. The only quirk though is that he's afraid of blood. Which is sorta laughable, because later on in the film, you can see that his entire face is almost covered in blood. Which makes the whole thing about him fearing blood rather irrelevant. But then again, from a narrative perspective, I think it kinda makes sense, considering the whole Nazi zombies and everything going on. So, I can at least grant that to his character. Our Nazi zombies are also devoid of personality, but then again, they *are* Nazi zombies, so I can give them a pass on this one.

Overall, guys, the writing here is pretty good, when it wants to get going. It's just certain things here and there, such as the pacing being a bit slow, and the comedy not really happening until the last half hour so of the movie, that ultimately stops it from being great. But with that said, let's actually get into the acting here. Now, I do have to confess something. Originally, I first started watching the movie with it's original Norwegian dub, however, I did notice on the back of the DVD case that it does have the option to watch it with an English dub. So, I opted to watch that instead, because I wasn't really all that interested in watching it in it's original language. And I will say that the dub here is halfway decent. There are a couple of instances of phoned in acting that happen, mostly from whoever they got to dub over Martin's dialogue here. That said, though, he still did an OK job with the material that he was given to work with. Everyone else did a pretty good job, too. Now while I obviously can't judge the Norwegian acting here, since I watched very little of it before I switched to the English dub, I can tell from their body language that they looked like they had a lot of fun in this movie, so I can at least grant them that. Overall, guys, the English dub is OK for what it is, though the option for the original Norwegian dub is also available too, just in case.

Special effects here are great, especially for low budget standards. The blood effects are great, along with the gore here as well. There are small instances of CG blood used as well, however, given that it closely resembles the practical blood effects, you won't really notice them all that much, if at all. So, this is one of those rare instances where I can accept the CG blood for what it is. The makeup effects on our Nazi zombies all look great, along with the costuming as well. All of it here is great, and given the low budget, they definitely used it to their advantage here.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is great. But then again, most of this movie took place outdoors, so I would expect the lighting here to be great just based on that fact alone. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here actually consists of Norwegian rock music. Now obviously, I haven't really listened to a whole lot of Norwegian rock music. In fact, this is my first time hearing it in this movie. But I will say that it actually does sound pretty good. Maybe I'll give the soundtrack more of a listen to at some point, but I can, again, say that what is hear is pretty good, so I can give the music here a plus for this movie.

Ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Dead Snow"? Yes, I most certainly can. If, once again, provided that you're able to overlook the somewhat slow pacing of the first 40 minutes or so, along with the comedy portion of the movie not happening until the last half hour or so as well. But other than that, this is a rather good effort. I'm probably gonna be watching this again at some point. I don't know if it's something I would watch as a yearly tradition around Christmas time, but it is still definitely worth checking out, if at least once. So yeah, I can totally recommend "Dead Snow" to you guys. It's not a great horror comedy, but still worth checking out in my book. And speaking of horror comedies, I'm gonna go and re-pop in my copy of "Dead & Breakfast", since that, to me, is a great horror comedy involving zombies.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Azumi

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Japanese action film from 2003. That movie is "Azumi".

Now, I honestly don't really know a whole lot about this movie, other than a couple of things. For starters, this movie is apparently a live action adaptation of a manga series with the same name. Now I obviously have never read it. But then again, upon doing the small amount of research for this movie, I just found out about that information. And, much like I've done with many other adaptation films for this series, I am not even gonna bother comparing to it's manga counterpart. I really only care if it can stand or fall on it's own standards.

Now, one other thing that I discovered about this movie is what I read on the back of the DVD case. Not so much about the plot or anything, but a caption that I found on the very top of it. It says that this movie is from the director of "Versus" and also the producer for "Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust". Now while I haven't seen "Versus" yet, I *have* seen "Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust". And for those of you who might already know, I love that movie. So, there is a chance here that this movie could be really great.

That said, I'm not totally sure what to expect from this movie. Like I said, I'm hoping for it to be really good, but then again, it could also find a way to really suck. I'm hoping that it doesn't suck, but still, it could be a possibility. But there's really only one way for me to find out. And the only way I'm gonna find out for myself is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Azumi".

18 minutes later

You know, guys, it's kinda messed up to know that this old guy raised these kids up to become would-be assassins, just so he can order them to kill each other in order to prove that they can succeed in their mission. I sorta get the method behind his reasoning, but it *is* still kinda fucked up to go through with this sort of ordeal, you know what I mean?

2 minutes later

So, not only did half of these kids get killed off, but they also burned their entire home down before leaving. OK, I said that I sorta understood the master's methods behind his students killing each other, but why burn your house down afterwards? I know he said that they were going to leave the mountain, but why go to the effort of burning down your entire home? It just seems kinda stupid to me, but hey, who am I to judge the master's way of thinking?

9 minutes later

OK, guys, I just learned something new today. If you throw a big enough rock into a river of water, you'll be able to catch a lot of fish by having them splash out of the water all at once. I'm not totally sure how practical that is among fishing, but at least it's sort of an interesting method, to say the least.

15 minutes later

So, the warlord that our heroes assassinated was actually a fucking body double? That is sorta cool to know, but what I'm curious about now is how exactly did they go to the effort of getting that body double? Did they just find somebody who mostly resembled what the warlord looked like, or was it just something like one of those ninjitsu abilities where they make some sort of substitute doll in his place? I understand it's kind of a trivial point and all, but it is something that I'm a little curious about.

17 minutes later

OK, that's certainly weird. I wouldn't expect one of these bandits to say "give me a second" before suddenly collapsing after getting stabbed to death. Kinda funny, but still rather odd to me, you know what I mean?

19 minutes later

You know, guys, this fight scene here is pretty cool and everything. And I would probably like this fight scene more if the background of the sky didn't keep changing from between night and day. It's becoming a little bit distracting here, which is a shame because, like I said, this fight scene is really well done. I just wish I could focus on that more than the changing of the sky between shots here, you know? 

20 minutes later

Sorry if I'm not saying a whole lot here, guys, I'm kinda getting immersed myself into the story here. It's been rather good so far, minus a couple of hiccups here and there, which I'll talk about more when I get into the review for this thing.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Azumi". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...all right. So, where do I begin here? Well, as I kinda already mentioned earlier, I said that the movie was rather good as I began immersing myself into this movie's story. And for the most part, I really enjoyed this thing. Mind you, the film does have a couple of problems here and there, but I still rather liked it overall.

So with that said, let's get into the review proper here by first discussing the writing. Now, earlier this year, I reviewed a couple of martial arts films known as "Moonlight Sword and Jade Lion" and "The Bloody Fists". And the reason why I'm bringing them up is because this movie is kinda sorta similar to those movies, in which it's trying to tell some kind of compelling story while also blending in it's action scenes as well. But the difference between this movie and those two films is that the latter two failed to get out some kind of story that made little to no sense whatsoever. Now, I can't be entirely too harsh on those movies because, like I mentioned in both of those reviews, it's possible that there might've been some sort of an issue with the translation of dubbing those movies into English. But still, my point is that, with what was given to us in those movies, neither one of them were successful in telling any sort of story that tried to be interesting or entertaining, aside from their fight choreography being really solid.

Which then brings me to "Azumi". Now, while the movie doesn't necessarily have a lot of over-the-top action scenes, I will say that the story here is solid enough to where you could follow it while also being immersed into the action scenes as well. A lot of it is just a bunch of sword fighting, but it is still really cool to see, as you watch our main characters go up against ninjas, samurais, and bandits along the way. I guess I'm probably jumping ahead here a bit by talking about the fight choreography rather than the story here, but again, I am gonna say that the fight choreography is rather solid. And I guess since I've already jumped ahead here, I'm also gonna say that the special effects are pretty good for the most part. There's a lot of blood pouring in this movie from all of the kills here, and most of it is great. There are also a couple of instances of CG, such fire, explosions, and a couple of blood effects here and there. And while some of that looked a little cheap, the practical effects definitely more than make up of what little CG is used here. And the costuming here is really good, too, as it fits that style of very early Japan. So, there is that.

But I should probably go back to the writing, since I sorta skipped ahead a bit there. The story is essentially a coming of age for Azumi. Where she gets taken in by her master as a little girl after she loses her mother in, admittedly, a very vague way. She then gets raised up with her adopted brothers as they are all equally trained under their master, who all eventually grow up to become trained assassins. And their mission is given to them from their master, who says that they must kill the warlords who are trying to start up a war that may possibly happen soon. And it's from here where we get a little more insight of Azumi's character, where she starts to question stuff like whether or not the people they are killing are actually bad people. Or when one of their comrades is slowly dying from a poisoning, she's wondering why if it's OK to senselessly kill warlords but not to save the life of someone who's on the verge of dying. Now granted, the dying assassin kinda hid that fact from his master, probably because he didn't want them to worry. But still, it does change Azumi's character a bit after she shortly leaves the group, along with another one of the brothers named Hyuga.

And it's here where I can say that our characters here are very well developed. Mind you, not all of the assassin brothers don't get that much development, unlike Azumi. The only exception to this is the one I just mentioned by name, Hyuga. He actually ends up falling for a girl named Yai, who is a traveling performer, and also joins Azumi for a little bit. She actually ends up playing a bit of a role too, where she tries to teach Azumi to speak and act like more like a girl. She also attempts Azumi to retire the sword as well, though that ends up getting cut short when they get ambushed by bandits after one of them is attempting to rape Yai. So, on a character growth level, Azumi is easily the best developed. You have a reason to care about her as she goes along her journey of what she must do and where she ends up as an assassin. And it's really good stuff here.

Now like I said earlier, the film does have a couple of problems, minus some of the dated CG and all. First of all, the main villain is kind of a weak character, as he's mostly just an androgynous, cartoonish villain. At least, that's the kind of vibe I got out of him anyway. Secondly, the pacing is a little bit on the slow side. The movie is roughly about 2 hours long, and there were a couple of moments near the end where it could've actually ended, but still kept on going. But I still think it's worth the 2 hours of it's runtime. There is one other issue that I'll get into a little bit later on, but I will say that the film does try to inject some humor into itself, while trying to space out the dramatic scenes that happen quite a bit in this movie. Granted, this film is ultimately more of a drama, but there is enough of a breathing space to where the movie isn't totally drowned by it's dramatic moments.

So overall, guys, the writing here is really good for the most part, and I would say it's one of the better action films I've seen from an Asian country in quite a while. And as for the acting, well, I have to go by off the English dub that I opted to watch. And I will say that the dub here, at least on a voice acting level, is pretty good, but there is something that I noticed which could be more of a distracting issue. Now it may just be me that noticed this, but for some reason, some of the dialogue is about a second late whenever a character is about to talk or finished talking. I noticed this, because it happened pretty early on in the film, and it's quite noticeable throughout a good portion of the movie. Now mind you, it doesn't ultimately ruin it, but it could potentially distract you, especially if you're someone who watches English dubs. Now with that said, there is an option to where you could watch it with the Japanese audio with English subtitles. So if you're not a fan of dubs, the option to switch it over to the subtitles is there. But overall, guys, the acting here is pretty decent for what it is, despite some minor syncing issues.

I need to talk about editing for a moment. Now I talked about this way early on, but it bears repeating. There's a fight scene that goes on in this movie between two guys, and it's honestly a pretty decent fight, too. However, the biggest downside to all this is the time of day that they're suppose to be fighting in. See, before the fight happens, there's a scene that takes place during the night. But as soon as the fight starts up, you'll get to see them clashing swords while the sky changes from between night and day. Now this would've sorta made sense *if* they were fighting for days upon end for some stupid reason. But no, it was really just a case of poor editing, because you'll get to see glimpses of a grey sky in some shots, along with some shots of the sunlight, and then nightfall. And all of this is mixed together really poorly, because none of it was consistent. Not only that, but also with the grey sky that shows up when they're fighting, I couldn't tell you if it was taking place while the sun was going up or if it was going down. I don't know, but it was a rather distracting moment of the film that you'll definitely notice for yourself, especially if you end up looking for it like I did.

But otherwise, guys, camerawork here is pretty good. Though admittedly, there is one shot of the movie during the final fight, where we get to see the camera go around the two actors in a vertical fashion, and while the shot looked cool at first, it is a bit disorienting, too. So just be wary of that shot when it happens. Lighting here is lit really well, as most of the entire movie was shot outdoors. Sound-mix here is really good, and the score is also really good, too. So, technically speaking, the movie here looks and sounds great.

Ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Azumi"? Oh yes, certainly, guys. It is a really solid movie. I, myself, wasn't totally sure if I would like it or not, but it wound up almost kinda surprising me a bit. If you, yourself, are a fan of action movies featuring ninjas and whatnot, then you'll most definitely find something to like here. Now I should also mention that this movie apparently has a sequel as well, and I may actually try to track down the sequel somewhere and cover it for this series. But as for this film, well, like I already said, I can definitely recommend this movie to you guys. And if you're someone that's only seen action movies made in the U.S., and you want to see something a little bit different outside of it, then this movie is certainly worth checking out, if at least once. And as for me, well, I did like it enough to hold onto my DVD collection, so I'll probably watch it again at some point. For now, though, I'm gonna go and watch something else. And you know what? It's been almost a year, but I kinda want to go and rewatch my copy of "The Great Yokai War" again. I want to see if that movie still holds up, seeing as how it's almost been a year since I covered it. So yeah, that's what I'm gonna go do next once I get done uploading this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.