Reaction & Review | Phantasm II

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, we're gonna continue the "Phantasm" series by taking a look at the sequel that came out in 1988, which is appropriately called "Phantasm II".

Now, in case you didn't read my review for the first "Phantasm" movie, I said that it was a really fascinating film and I could see why it gained it's cult status as one of the more recognizable horror franchises of all time. However...I personally didn't wound up loving it. I thought that the movie felt a little convoluted at times, the acting was a little bit shaky, and the ending is still something that I'm rather conflicted at. Still though, I was able to recommend it enough for fans of horror movies who may have never had a chance to see that movie yet.

So with that being said, it brings me to it's sequel. And before I actually talk about what I know about this particular entry, I do want to make mention about how spaced out these sequels are. See, in case you weren't aware, the first movie came out in 1979. And then fast forward to 9 years later, in which we get "Phantasm II". Then the third movie came out in 94, the fourth movie came out in 98, and the fifth entry came out *way* later on, which I'll get more into once we reach that fifth movie.

But anyway, I bring this all up, because usually, horror movie franchises would wait about a year or two before releasing another sequel. It happened with "Nightmare On Elm Street", it happened with "Friday The 13th", it even happened to "Puppet Master". All those horror franchises would usually pump out a sequel within a year or so. But the "Phantasm" series is a rather interesting story here because, like I said, the second movie didn't come out until 1988, and then nothing for a few years afterwards. Which makes me wonder if it was even originally planned to make "Phantasm" into a franchise at all, or just leave it as a standalone movie?

Now, I obviously don't have the answers to those questions, as I'm mostly just theorizing here. Regardless, we did get this sequel 9 years later. And the only thing I can really tell you about it is that the guy who directed the first movie, Don Coscarelli, is back in the director's chair for this sequel, as well as being the writer, too. Beyond that, I don't know what the plot is to this thing, but I am hoping for it to be just as interesting as the first movie was. I actually do want it to be better than the first movie, but I won't really know that for sure unless I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Phantasm II".

10 minutes later

So Michael, who spent 7 years in a psychiatric ward after the events of the first movie, finally gets out. And what is the first thing that he does? He goes straight back to Moriningside Cemetery with a pick-axe. What exactly is he gonna do with it, I don't know. But setting that aside, Michael certainly has his priorities straight, if that's what the first thing he does after finally getting his freedom back, you know what I mean?

10 minutes later

OK, I have a question I want to ask here. So, all of the bodies at Morningside Cemetery were basically just gone by the time Michael first started digging up graves. He and Reggie are at another cemetery, and all of the bodies in these graves are gone too. Now, I kinda have an idea as to what the Tall Man's plan is involving all of these missing corpses, but what I am really sorta curious about is that if someone else discovered all of these bodies missing from their graves, wouldn't they report about this already? I'm asking this because there is a gap hidden from between Michael discovering the missing bodies at Morningside Cemetery to them finding the missing bodies at this cemetery. It makes curious as to how long these bodies have been missing, and why no one else has spoken up about it from before Michael and Reggie got there. I know it sounds like I'm putting a little too much thought into this, but it is something I'm still curious about.

13 minutes later

So, the pastor just stabbed a knife into the dead guy's body. Um...why? I mean, I *may* have a theory as to why he did that, but it just seems kinda odd to me, you know?

16 minutes later

OK, that's sorta different. I've never seen someone suction a corpse's blood from out of their body and into a blender of sorts. Granted, I'm not sure how common that is, if it all, to do that to someone's corpse after they're deceased, but I will say that it is sorta creative.

7 minutes later

Well, guys, if there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that the metal sphere is still awesome, and I'm happy to see it in back action again, this time taking a pastor's ear before going for the head. So, at least it's stepping up it's game a little bit.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Phantasm II", and it ends almost the same way as the first movie did. Not totally sure what to think of that, but I'll save my thoughts on that for later. I'm gonna go ahead and shut the film off here...all right. So, hmm...where to begin here...? Well, I did say earlier that I wanted the film to be as interesting as the first movie was, and I did get that. I was also hoping for it to be better than the first movie, and...well, that's gonna be a bit of a challenge to answer that point.

Why don't we start with the writing. And specifically, I want to start with a problem that is gonna potentially be a deal breaker for some people who are curious about this movie. The problem I'm referring to is the movie's pacing. This movie has some of the *slowest* build-up I've ever seen from a movie in quite a while. And I'm not kidding about that, guys, either. This movie feels like it takes *forever* just to get itself rolling. Now, I want to clarify and state that it's not the entirety of the movie that is plagued by this pacing. It's mostly during the middle portion of the movie in which the pacing starts to become an issue. Because, quite literally, almost *nothing* happens. I can see that the movie was trying to do something of interest, but most of that is either jump scares, or it feels like it was trying to build up to something, but nothing comes from it. It just felt like the plot was taking a backseat to all this, while the movie was trying to boil something of interest. Unfortunately though, it's just a really slow boil. And normally, guys, I don't mind it when a movie takes it's time, but there's a difference between building something up and just having a ton of padding, which this movie unfortunately suffers from a lot.

Let me try to back all this up first, so that you guys can get an idea as to what you're getting yourself into here. The first act of the movie actually continues with where the first movie left off from, where Mike, after spending 7 years in a psychiatric ward, reunites with his guardian, Reggie, who was Jody's friend from the first film. And Mike goes back to Morningside Cemetery to find out that all of the corpses at that cemetery are all gone. And when he finally is able to convince Reggie to join him on his quest to defeat the Tall Man, the two journey together and search for him and kill him once and for all. I'll get more into this in a second. On the other side of it, you have Elizabeth, who was the blond-haired girl that was briefly in the first movie, as she gets more involved in the plot here shortly after her grandmother gets taken by the Tall Man, or possibly his little Jawa-dwarfs, as she later reunites with Mike and Reggie in their quest to stop the Tall Man from reanimating the corpses that he has taken from all of these cemeteries so that he can turn them into Jawa-dwarfs. Yeah, that was a thing in the first movie that I didn't bring up because it didn't really make a whole lot of sense there. At least here, I can kinda grasp the concept a little more, but the motivations are still rather vague to me.

Now with that said, I will say that, at least when compared to the first "Phantasm" film, this one feels a little more coherent with it's storytelling. Granted, there a couple of things here that still don't entirely make sense, but you could still follow it, if you give the film a chance. And that's where I have to bring up the movie's pacing again, because the first act of the movie has all of the stuff involving Mike and Reggie gearing up to go and look for the Tall Man, while the third act of the movie is where things start to actually get rather interesting. But the middle portion of the film is where the movie's pacing starts to become an issue. Because with the main plot involving Mike and Reggie, it felt like a road trip film, and a rather dull one too. But then again, road trip movies aren't something I'm a big fan of anyways. And with Elizabeth, it involves her grandfather dying and her grandmother being taken away, which causes her to get more involved with the story. But like I said, most of that felt like it took too much time into boiling something up, only for it to not have a whole lot of payoff. Well correction, there *is* payoff that happens in the movie, but most of that doesn't happen until near the end of the third act, and I'm even including one other character named Alchemy, who Mike and Reggie meet during their little road trip. And she felt more like a backseat to the plot until near the very end. So her character felt ridiculously under-utilized here.

Speaking of which, let's talk about the characters next. Being that this is a sequel, we of course get most of our returning characters. Mainly, I'm talking about Mike, Reggie, Elizabeth, and the Tall Man. The Tall Man, I can give a pass to on this, because his character is, more or less, the same as it was in the first movie. Elizabeth felt really fucking shallow, personality wise, and her character doesn't really get explored enough, other than she forms a relationship with Mike. Mike is kind of a mixed bag here. On one hand, he feels kinda flat and boring, but what sorta saves it is the relationship he has with Reggie. It feels like the two really have some decent chemistry with each other, and you do feel like you care about them as they go on their quest together. The relationships they form with Elizabeth and Alchemy is something that you're not gonna give a fuck about, but between Reggie and Mike, the development there works pretty well if I do say so myself.

But otherwise, guys, the writing here, while definitely a step up from the first movie, is plagued by the incredibly slow pacing, which could definitely be seen as a deal breaker to some people. Mind you, it is still rather interesting to follow, assuming of course you can overlook the really slow pacing. However, I'll get into all that in a second when I get to recommendations. Let's talk about the acting next. Now, aside from Mike's actor being replaced, most of the other returning cast members I mentioned a moment ago reprise their roles here. Most of them do a decent job, with the biggest standout being Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man. He, once again, nails this performance, despite the fact that he doesn't have a whole lot of lines in the movie. The only one who feels kinda flaky is the actress playing Alchemy. At times, her performance in this movie feels somewhat phoned in. That said, she doesn't have a whole lot of lines in the movie either, so it's not something that you're gonna take a huge notice from. Still though, I felt like it was worth mentioning, in case you were curious. So yeah, the acting here is mostly decent from our cast.

Special effects in this movie are definitely really good. If you'll recall my review of the first movie, I mentioned that about half of the effects in that thing looked goofy and weird as shit. However, despite the low budget that the first movie had going on, I still think the effects there had enough of a charm to where I could overlook the goofy-looking effects. This thing ditches those effects, and goes for the more gory-looking effects and you actually get to see the make-up effects on the dwarfs faces this time around, and they actually look pretty good here. Blood effects are also here, too, and they're just about as good, if not slightly better than the first movie. So overall, I can say the special effects here are pretty good for what they are.

Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting here is lit perfectly fine. The sound-mix is mixed mostly well, with one or two exceptions of an actor's dialogue at the beginning sounding a little muffled by the loud music going on. It's a minor nitpick, but still. The music here is, once again, on the level of knowing when to use it and when to be either silent or atmospheric. And it's great stuff. So at least on that end, this movie is perfectly consistent with it's lack of music.

Overall, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Phantasm II"? I can, as long as you're able to overlook the rather glacial pacing that the movie suffers from the middle act. I know I've already beaten a dead horse on this subject, but I seriously cannot stress enough about this film's pacing. It really is either something that you'll get use to, or you're not gonna like at all. Myself personally, I was able to get use to it, but that's more of a personal preference, really. That said, the film is still good enough to where it's worth viewing, especially if you really enjoyed the first movie. And for myself, I'm really curious to see where exactly you go from here from a sequel that didn't come out until almost a decade later? I don't know yet, but I'm hoping to find out within a couple of weeks. In the meantime, however, I'm gonna continue my October tradition by watching a bunch of horror-related movies, and I'm gonna continue that with "Puppet Master 2", seeing as how I watched the first one at the beginning of the month. So I'm gonna go do that next shortly after I get done typing this review up.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Tokyo Babylon

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out an OVA from 1992. That OVA is "Tokyo Babylon".

Now, the story behind this OVA's release is a little bit of an odd one. See, this thing was first aired as a mini-series in 1992 in Japan. Then the mini-series later ended in 1994 with a grand total of two episodes. Which, OK, that's totally fine. But here's where it gets odd. You see, the DVD wasn't released in Japan...up until 2000. U.S. Manga Corps, the company that distributed this movie in the U.S., didn't get theirs released until 1995. Now, it's possible that I may have some of this information wrong, because most of everywhere I looked online never mentioned whether or not the 1995 release was talking about either the VHS or DVD versions of the movie. It's very well possible that it could be the VHS version that they were talking about, but still, I thought to bring it up anyways since the details of it's release are rather hazy at best.

Now besides that, I don't really know much else about this OVA. From little I scanned on the back of the DVD case talks about a powerful medium trying to solve crimes before they take place. Which does, admittedly, sound kinda interesting. But whether or not it makes for a good OVA is something that I'll find out eventually. And the only way I am gonna find out as to whether or not this thing is any good at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Tokyo Babylon".

15 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that this dub here is a little bit shaky. It really hasn't been all that great, and I'm not totally sure if I'm gonna get use to it or not. The good news though, is that the music here is pretty good. So...at least that's something. Granted, I know that's not a huge positive, but still, I can count that as a positive for this thing so far.

10 minutes later

All right, I have a question here, and I'm not sure if it will get answered or not, so I'm gonna ask it anyway. So, all of these accidents that have been happening around Project 5 all involve Nagumo, and that he's been able to get out of all his situations Scott-free, while the victims all died. Now, it's been said that he's been wanting to get to the top of the corporate ladder of the MCC, but is there actually a reason as to why he hasn't let Project 5 finished being completed? The only thing I can think of is that Nagumo wants it built in his own vision so that he can take over once it's been completed, but again, it hasn't really been established yet. Mind you, I'm just spit-balling here, but that's honestly the only thing I can think of at the moment.

3 minutes later

OK, so the detective *did* explain that, yes, Nagumo, is going to take over the MCC once everyone in his way has been killed off, and Project 5 has been completed, So, my theory was right after all. At least the OVA was nice enough to do that much.

5 minutes later

So...by releasing Koni, which is Kazami's dog in case you weren't aware, his spirit is now able to take vengeance on her brother's killer. Does that imply that Kazami killed her dog in order for this whole thing to work? Cause, if that's the case, then I gotta say, that spirit of Koni looks kinda cool. Granted, the implications behind it are certainly fucked up, Still though, at least it looks cool.

11 minutes later

All right, guys, well, that was the first episode. It was...certainly interesting, to say the least. Kinda vague, but still interesting. I'm hoping the second episode's gonna be just as interesting as this one was. But, we'll just have to wait and see.

10 minutes later

So, this new spirit medium has the ability to see into the past...interesting. Granted, I'm not totally sure how much of the past you're able to see with this "post-cognition" that she has, but I will say that her power does sound rather unique.

7 minutes later

You know, guys, I find it kinda weird how Subaru is bringing up the fact that if this killer isn't brought down soon, he will kill again and again. And what's weird about all this is that we've only seen *one* killing happen throughout this episode, which was at the beginning. Don't you think that if we had seen this murderer kill multiple victims firsthand that *maybe* then it would make finding this killer a little more impactful? I'm just saying, guys, perhaps maybe if we had gotten to see more of this killer, and the reasoning behind his murders, then it would make this episode a little bit more better, you know what I mean?

19 minutes later

Wow, so that one cut from when that guy tried to save Mirei caused all that blood to appear all over his body? Admittedly, that's a little suspicious, because I don't believe that much blood would appear just from that one cut. But then again, I'm not a fucking psychopath like this guy is, so what do I know?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Tokyo Babylon". Let me go ahead and shut this thing off here...OK. So, um...where exactly do I begin here? Well, to be honest, guys...I'm not totally sure how to feel about it. Like, it's not entirely bad, far from it, though there are a couple of things that do hold this OVA down a bit. That said, I'm not totally sure if it's something that I would personally sit down and rewatch again at some point.

I guess, instead of just me rambling about how I feel about it, let me try to talk about it in more detail. Let's start with the writing. Now, as I mentioned before, this thing was originally a mini-series that was divided into 2 episodes. So, I'm gonna go over a brief analysis of these two episodes and try to talk about them. The first episode is pretty simple, in which it's about our main character Subaru Sumeragi, who is a spirit medium that is being called in to try and figure out what's been going on at this construction site, otherwise known as Project 5. Somehow, all of these accidents have been leading into the deaths of either the workers or any of the higher-ups at the MCC. And at the center of these accidents involves Nagumo, who has been secretly killing them off so that he can get a higher position once Project 5 has been completed and that he can take over the company. Problem is, no one has any evidence on him, so like I said, one of the guys there actually called Subaru in, and this was just before he got killed off too by Nagumo as well.

So, for the most part, it's a pretty straightforward plot. Which, it is, and it's mostly really easy to follow. However, if I had to be honest with you, guys, it feels kinda bland and somewhat vague, too. Most of the blandness is, admittedly, gonna come from our main character, Subaru. He really doesn't have much of a personality to his character, other than being a spirit medium, and a rather weak one too. I'm gonna get a little more into this later, however, I should let you know firsthand that Subaru's character in this movie is ridiculously shallow. He has a sister who is ridiculously annoying, and his other friend, Seishiro, who I'll talk about in a moment. But overall, guys, when it comes to our main cast of characters, most of them aren't really that well developed.

With that being said, that leads me into talking about episode 2. And I'm gonna say that this episode was really good. The story for the second episode involves another spirit medium named Mirei, who has the ability to see the past, at certain angles with her hands. And it doesn't matter on the limitations of it either, because as we see later on in the episode, she is using her powers to look into the past of a serial killer as a child from 15 years ago. So, any limitations that she may have on how much she can see into the past are irrelevant. It's a really unique power, and it is a rather interesting take on the whole spirit medium angle. Which is funny, because Subaru and his friends are also in this episode as well, and yet, they're still rather weak on character depth. Mirei, on the other hand, has more layers of character depth than any of our main characters combined. Which is kinda sad, when you stop and think about it.

Now, I do kinda want to talk about Seishiro for a moment. Because his character in this movie is very vague at best. Now, I know someone's probably gonna mention that he had more depth in the manga. However, as I've done with many other adaptations in this series, I review adaptations of whatever medium by their own standards rather than compare it to it's comic book/video game counterpart. So anyway, he's one of Subaru's friends, and it seems like he plays a very important role in all this, however, it's only kind of explained at the start of the second episode, that he has to look over Subaru, as Subaru is suppose to be the head clan of the Sumeragi clan. And for whatever reasoning, he's always there to save Suburu at the end of each episode, and he also comes off as a Gary-Stu as well. Basically, guys, I want you to imagine if instead of Sailor Moon finishing off the bad guys after she gets rescued by Tuxedo Mask, Tuxedo Mask is the one who rescues her at the end of each episode and *he* is the one who defeats the monster and saves the day instead of the main protagonist. It's basically like that with Seishiro, and it just leaves me to believe what sort of role does this guy really have? Well, the OVA hardly explains it, so good luck in trying to figure that out, especially if you haven't read the manga.

So with all that said, the writing for these two episodes is a mixed bag at best. The first episode was sorta interesting, but kinda bland at the same time. While the second episode had really good writing for the most part, though for different reasons that I already explained. Now with all that being said, let's talk about the English dub for this OVA. And boy howdy, is this dub kinda shit. Most of the acting here feels very stiff and awkward. And the worst actor, by far, would have to go to whoever voiced our main character. The actor who voices Subaru has only one type of voice he gives for this character, and he gives out no range on him whatsoever. Which makes his acting all the more sterile and weak. I would almost argue that it's on the level of terrible acting that Chuck Norris gives out, considering the guy has no real range of emotion within his voice. Same goes for Subaru's English voice actor here. He has no emotion in his voice, and he just did not care to put in any sort of effort within his voice. Now again, most of everyone here in this cast weren't very good either, but Subaru's actor is a special case because the guy just sucked ass in this thing.

What didn't suck ass though, was the animation. The animation is mostly really good. For something that came out in the early 90's, this is some pretty decent-looking stuff. What helps it the most is one of the animation studios behind this movie, which is Madhouse. And I've talked about Madhouse quite a number of times beforehand in my previous reviews for the movies that they have made, and just about all of their animation styles have looked really good regardless of the quality of the actual content in question. This OVA is no exception. The art-style is really good, the color palettes are used really well, and the backgrounds all look really gorgeous, too. So, animation wise, this thing looks really good for it's time.

Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here is pretty good too, except for this one bit where, during the first episode, there's a song sequence that plays involving Kazami's character and the song sounds like shit. Well, to be more accurate, it's this one lone singer who sounds like shit. The song itself isn't really that good, but the singer providing the lyrics really sucked, too. The lyrics, I should mention, involve the word "kiss" a lot, and I have no idea why. I'm sure there's some sort of "symbolic" reason as to why those lyrics are there, but I personally don't really care about that kind of shit. I just know that the song really sucked. So, I'll just leave at that and move on from there.

So ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Tokyo Babylon"? Um...kinda sort of. Like I said, this OVA's writing is a mixed bag at best. I would probably recommend it, but only for the 2nd episode. The first episode, I can't really guarantee that you'll like it at all, but who knows? Perhaps maybe you'll find something more out of it than I did. But as for me, personally speaking, I did find some enjoyment out of this OVA. Though honestly, I just don't think it's something that I'm gonna rewatch ever again. I really was kinda hoping for something more out it, but it just didn't quite meet up to my standards. So with that being said, I think I'm gonna go and watch something different. And you know what? I do have both volumes of the rarely seen uncut dub of "Shaman King" on DVD. So, I'm gonna go and watch the first 3 episode of it right now, since it does sorta tie into what I just watched.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Phantasm

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out a horror movie from 1979. That movie is "Phantasm".

Now, I'm gonna be honest with you, guys, I don't really remember a whole lot about the "Phantasm" movies. I briefly heard about it a couple of years ago when I eventually stumbled upon a trailer for one of the movies on YouTube. I believe it may have been from the first movie, but I honestly couldn't tell you if that was the case or not. That said though, ever I since watched that trailer, I had a bit of a curiosity in checking out these movies for myself. And luckily for me, I get to cover all 5 of them for this series. So, you guys will have an idea as to what I'll be covering for the next couple of months or so.

Now as to I know about the "Phantasm" series, well, like I said, I really don't know very much about them. I know that they're all horror movies, and they're at least 5 of them in the series. And I also know about this old man that appears on the cover of most of these movies. Now perhaps it's just me, but the old man sorta reminds me of Igor from the "Persona" series. Don't ask me why, it just kinda sorta came into my mind. Who knows? Maybe the creator of the series, or someone over at ATLUS, took inspiration from this old man and eventually gave birth to Igor. I could be totally wrong on this, but that's just my own theory.

But setting that aside, I have almost no idea what to expect from these movies. I'm hoping that this first one will at least be really interesting, but the only way I'm gonna find out the answer to that is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Phantasm".

16 minutes later

Guys, so far, the one character who has been creeping me out is the old lady that Michael met. She's only been on-screen for about 2 minutes and I've been already creeped out by her appearance here. The old man, surprisingly, not yet, but that might change sooner, rather than later.

6 minutes later

So...the one who was making those weird growling noises was someone dressed up in complete darkness, almost like a druid, is the one who caused Michael to run away and scream like a little bitch. I was honestly expecting something bigger, but not really someone cloaked up from head to toe. I don't know why, guys, but it just seemed kinda silly to me to know that. I'm wondering how the hell it's making those growling noises, but I'm sure it'll probably be explained at some point, hopefully.

15 minutes later

O....K...I was wondering what the hell that round metal thing was that I've seen on the cover of most of these things. Apparently, once it's attached to you, it'll drill itself right into your fucking face while blood gushes out of it. I gotta say, that's kinda sorta cool, really! I wasn't really expecting that at all.

5 minutes later

OK, and now the cut-off finger of the old man has suddenly transformed into a puppet fly. A fly, I should mention, has now spawned onto Michael's head. I will say, guys, as goofy as these effects have been so far, I'm actually kinda digging how most of them have turned out, I'm actually rather impressed.

8 minutes later

So, upon discovering that there's no one driving the car that's after our heroes, Jody decides to shoot the front window's of the car in order to stop it. What fucking sense does that even make!? If you know there's someone that's not visibly driving, then why in the hell would you even attempt to shoot at somebody that's not even there to begin with? I'm not really seeing the logic there, guys. Oh, and the car actually crashed now...still doesn't answer my question, but I guess whatever works, worked, I guess.

1 minute later

OK, never mind, there *was* somebody driving the car. Apparently, it was one of those weird cloaked creatures that's been around throughout most of the movie. Oh...and it's Jody's dead brother. And he's bleeding mustard out of his mouth too, what do you know? I never would've guessed that, but I guess you learn something new everyday, don't ya?

13 minutes later

Well, guys, this movie teaches you a very valuable lesson. If you are forcibly locked in your own room, just get a hammer, some tape, and a shotgun bullet. Mix it together, and you can create a hammer bomb to get yourself out. Again, you *really* do learn something new everyday.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Phantasm". Um...let me go ahead and shut the movie off now...OK. Wow, um...what to say about that ending...well, without going into spoiler territory here, there is a plot twist towards the end of the film, and I am very conflicted about it. I mean, I know what the movie was *trying* to say, but...I just don't know how I really feel about it. It's interesting, I will say that much. But in terms of whether or not it was actually a good plot twist is something I don't have an answer for. It just...good lord, I have no idea what to even say about it...

Well, let's move past the plot twist itself and actually try to focus on the writing here. And that's also gonna feel like a challenge here, because this movie's writing feels somewhat plotless and, at times, doesn't really make any sense. I kinda understood what was going on, at first, where we see Jody's brother being killed after banging a chick at a graveyard, to where it eventually turns out that he gets killed by our movie's villain, The Tall Man, who was somehow able to turn the killing into a suicide. It really doesn't make much sense, but I'm not gonna focus on that too much, let's just assume it was because of "fuck you, it's magic". So anyway, our main character, Michael, notices something odd about the casket that's being taken into the Tall Man's hearse, as he's able to handle the casket all by himself to put it in there. Which then gives Michael a quest to find out what the hell's been going on at this mausoleum, while also trying to avoid being killed by The Tall Man and whatever the hell else is going on there.

Now, I'm probably somewhat off on my summary for this plot because, again, this story doesn't really make sense at times. And even the movie really doesn't explain a whole lot, outside of one thing that involves these dwarfs that are also hanging around Morningside Cemetery, which is also where this mausoleum is located at. And it's not just the story here that feels odd, but I'm also going to include the characters. Specifically, I'm mostly gonna be talking about Jody and Michael. Because, both of them are bothers, who eventually get together after Michael was finally able to convince Jody that something creepy's going on at the mausoleum involving the Tall Man. But as characters, both of them feel kinda flat and one dimensional. The best I could get out of Michael is that he's worried that his brother is going to leave him one day, and he won't ever see him again. To which then he visits this old lady to get some guidance on what he should do, for which he gets reassured that his brother is not going to leave him. And throughout the movie, there is something kinda resembling conflict between the two characters, but I feel like it doesn't really go the extra mile. Well, at least up until the plot twist happens. Which, again, I'm gonna try to not talk about that ending, because I still have very conflicting feelings about it.

I guess the only other character that is even worth mentioning at all is our mortician, AKA The Tall Man. If I had to describe the Tall Man, I would say, in a way, that he kinda has the charisma of Freddy Kruger but also leaves a lot to be desired. And the reason why I say that is because the guy has no real backstory to him. Now, I don't know if that was intentional or not, or whether they're gonna save his backstory for any of the sequels down the road, but I am gonna say that if you're expecting to learn anything about the guy's background here, well...good fucking luck with that. Like I said, there's one thing that you do kinda know about him, and it's something related to the dwarfs that I mentioned a little while ago. However, I feel as if there's something else missing here in regards to the Tall Man. It *almost* works, but not quite. That said, there are two positives I can give this character. One of them is that, even though his backstory isn't really explored here, he definitely does give off a mysterious vibe which kinda gives the idea of you wanting to learn more about him. So on that end, it totally works for the character.

The other thing that makes this character stand out is the actor playing him, who I believe goes by the name of Angus Scrimm. This guy makes this character stand out in a rather positive way, and admittedly, while his character doesn't really have a whole lot of screen-time in the film, Angus looked like he was having a blast with this character. So I gotta give him a lot of props for making this character the stand out of the entire film, even if he was rather under-utilized here. And as for the rest of the acting, it's just OK. None of it is great, mind you, and some of the acting from both Michael and Jody feel kinda one-notish at times. But for the most part, the acting here is just fine. Again, none of it is great, but it's certainly doesn't lean anywhere near to being the worst acting I have ever heard from a horror movie.

Special effects though, are definitely a mixed bag here. The best effect, I'm gonna start with, has to go to the scene where the metal sphere pierces this guy's face and is bleeding out through one of the holes of the sphere in which he got stabbed from. It is, by far, the best effect in this entire movie. The rest of the practical effects though, definitely lean into a mixed bag territory. The two that are gonna stand out to you the most are the fly monster, which is basically just a sorta cheap-looking puppet. And the other has to be anytime whenever someone is bleeding yellow. Don't ask me why they bleed yellow, they just do. Anyway, there's a moment in the film where Michael is first trying to run away from the Tall Man, and he's able to cut off one of the Tall Man's fingers and put it in a small wooden box. And when Michael shows Jody the finger in the box, you can also see the yellow blood that's surrounding the finger, except it just looks like they used mustard to disguise it as blood. It looks really cheap, however, if I have to be honest, I actually find both this, and the fly puppet, really charming to look at. Now perhaps maybe it's just because I really like the standards of how low budget horror movies are able to handle most of their practical effects, and I find this sort of thing to be rather endearing to look at. So, it's just something that you have to take for what it's worth, but I will say that I do rather like the cheap-looking special effects for this movie, even if they're not really that good.

Camerawork here is really good. The lighting here is lit rather well, especially in the darkly-lit areas, because they were able to have a good balance on how to balance both the light and the dark areas at the same time. Sound-mix is mixed rather well. The score here is great. Not only does it use original synth music, but it's also another one of those horror movies that knows *when* to use music and when to be silent. And the silent moments are fantastic. Which is something that is sorely lacking in a lot of modern horror movies within the last decade or so, possibly more than that. Either way, the score here is great, and is definitely one of the biggest positives this movie has to offer.

But ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Phantasm"? Kind of, yes. I say this, as long as you're willing to shut your brain off and immerse yourself within this movie's world. Because I feel like if you're able to do that, and not think about this movie's somewhat convoluted story, then what you have is a rather fascinating horror movie. And I can definitely see why people would view this thing as a cult classic. Granted, I'm not sure if it's something that I would immerse myself with personally, but I will say that the first film was rather interesting, to say the least. And it does give me some hope that the sequels will improve on this in some way. I'm not sure if they will or not, but I'll just have to wait and see for myself, now won't we? But anyway, guys, I can probably recommend this movie to you guys, if just for a single viewing experience. And as for me, I think I'm gonna go and rewatch another horror movie of sorts. Well, even though it hasn't been that long ago since I reviewed it for this series, I'm probably gonna go and rewatch "Christine" again. I remember really enjoying myself with that movie, so I'm gonna go and rewatch that again, just to immerse myself with this time of year, being it Halloween season and all.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Flight of Dragons

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out an animated film from 1982. That movie is "The Flight of Dragons".

Now, there is a special reason as to why I wanted to review this movie. See, one of the animation studios that is responsible for the making of this movie was Topcraft. And in case you've never heard of them, they're the studio who was responsible for making collaborative films with Rankin/Bass such as "The Hobbit", "Frosty's Winter Wonderland", and "The Last Unicorn", just to name a few examples. Speaking of the latter, in case you're not aware and are reading this review for the first time, "The Last Unicorn" is my all time favorite fantasy film. And I've wanted to see this film, in particular, because it was made by the same studio that also made "The Last Unicorn". And luckily for me, I was able to find a copy of this movie at a convention last year, so I'm hoping that it's gonna be worth the long wait.

Now, beyond what I just told you in regards to this movie being made by Topcraft, I don't know much else about this movie. I know that it's a fantasy film, and I also know that it's based off a novel with the exact same name by Peter Dickinson. But beyond that, I am going almost 100% blind here with this movie, because I really do *not* want to spoil myself with this movie too much. I'm hoping that it's gonna really good, but the only way I'm gonna find out if it is any good at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Flight of Dragons".

2 minutes later

Well, guys, even though it is really early already, I can start by saying that this opening song here is really great. And I'm already getting the same kind of vibes that I did when watching the opening to "The Last Unicorn". So yeah, we're off to a great start here, and I'm hoping that it continues to stay this way.

12 minutes later

You know, guys, Ommadon's plan here to use logic and science against the humans sounds really fucking terrifying. Which, in a way, it kinda makes sense, considering he's actually using some sound logic of his own. And what makes it even sound more powerful is the fact that he's voiced by James Earl Jones. So, I guess it works it out for him either way.

7 minutes later

Wait, so Peter Dickinson, from the future, is making a board game based off "The Flight of Dragons"? The same guy who would also write the novel of the same name as well? That's...kinda interesting. I never would've expected an author to self-insert himself into the story that he would eventually make. That's actually really interesting now that I'm thinking about it. I'm just hoping he's not gonna be some sort of Gary-Stu, or anything of the sorts, but we'll just have to wait and see, now won't we?

18 minutes later

You know, I'm both kinda surprised, and not, by the fact that Peter, after merging Gorbash, the green dragon, seems to be taking all this rather well, given the circumstances. I guess having an obsession with dragons is making this situation for him all the more better, but I'm gonna tell you, guys, if I was merged with a dragon, I would at least be a little bit concerned about it *before* I immediately get use to it, you know what I mean?

17 minutes later

I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this sound here, which kinda sounds like a rattlesnake even though it's not, is getting ridiculously annoying! Which makes sense, considering all of our heroes are being forced to listen to it as well and are going bonkers at each other because of it. But still, I'm kinda hoping for it to stop sooner rather than later, because it's starting to get to my head as well.

18 minutes later

Wow, um...I genuinely wasn't expecting that character to die. And considering how much I liked him, that kinda made his death much more unexpected than I thought. And no, I'm not gonna tell you who died, you're just gonna have to watch the movie for yourself.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Flight of Dragons". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Well, um...where do I even begin here? Well, I may as well start off by answering this question. Is this movie as great as "The Last Unicorn" was? No. In no way would I ever say that this movie is as good as that thing was. But then again, I am rather biased towards it to begin with, so it's just something you have to take for what it's worth. However, I am gonna say that this movie, by it's own standards, is absolutely amazing! I cannot begin to stress how much I really enjoyed this movie, even if it may not be as good as "The Last Unicorn" was.

So with that said, let's begin this review off proper by discussing the writing. The writing here is really solid. Now, being that this is a fantasy film, you do have your standard creatures such as dragons (duh), dwarfs, wizards, ogres, knights, etc. Just about all of that is here and it's to be expected from a lot of fantasy stories. And we also do have a standard fantasy story about a group of heroes travelling together on a quest to stop an evil wizard, AKA Ommadon in this case. However, the movie also adds a rather interesting element into the story about whether or not logic and science is better than magic. Because throughout the film, we're being told that magic is in decline and could potentially fade away thanks to people switching over to science and logic, thus is the reason why Carolinus gets the idea to create a safe haven for where magic can still reign while being invisible to others while time passes. And the best part about this is that they don't beat you over the head on which side is better. Both sides have their positives and negatives to them, and it's mostly left up to interpretation on the viewer. So you can have your own answers as the film plays itself out.

I want to touch upon the characters next, and I want to start with Peter Dickinson himself. Now admittedly, I have no idea how much of the story was taken from Peter Dickinson's book, or whether or not Dickinson actually inserted himself into his own story. That being said, I am gonna solely focus his character in this movie. And one thing I was really concerned about is whether or not he was gonna be some kind of Gary-Stu within his novel. I bring this up because, when you do something like this, in which you try to insert yourself into your own story, you have to tread on very careful grounds here because you run the risk of having yourself come off as a know-it-all Gary-Stu that'll have the solution to every problem and will automatically thwart it. Well thankfully, that's not the case. While he does kinda come off as a bit of a smartass at times, it's not to the length where he comes across as painfully annoying or even a Gary-Stu. He actually has a rather decent character to him that definitely shows that, despite him making the game or making a half-finished book of "The Flight of Dragons", he's still shown as being rather vulnerable to a lot of the situations he is in this movie. Which is definitely a refreshing take on the main character, so I'm kinda glad the movie didn't make him a Gary-Stu here.

While I'm on the subject, most of the other characters here are very likable and have quite a bit of personality to them. Granted. while there are a couple of characters that are sorta lacking in depth, such as Danielle and Giles the Elf, everyone else is able to carry the load in terms of them having interesting personalities and depth to their characters. And with these cast of characters, what you ultimately have is very strong writing to boot. And to add on to that, the acting here is really solid. Everybody here turns in a fantastic showing, and I have to give a special mention to James Earl Jones. Not just because he is a great actor or that he had sadly passed away recently, but I wanted to mention him here because, again, he voices Ommadon in this movie. And if I had to be honest here, this is quite possibly the best voice-over performance he has ever given to film! Yes, more so than Darth Vader and Mufasa. What I think really helps it the most is the fact he sounds like he's having a blast with this role. Now admittedly, he might have a habit of hamming it up a bit here from time to time. But I really think that's what makes his character stand out so much is because of the fact that he's so blatantly evil and James Earl Jones can make that kind of evilness work so well to his advantage. And, again, it makes him stand out as the best actor in the movie, at least in my eyes. But everyone else, like I said, turns in a fantastic performance of their own, in which I'm not gonna take anything away from the rest of the cast, because they are that good at what they do. So yeah, acting here is great across the board.

Animation here is also really solid. But again, this was made by Topcraft, so I kinda knew what to expect from this kind of movie. In which you'll have characters that are all uniquely designed. Whether it's any of the dragons, humans, elves, or any sort of animal or mythical creature, all of them have a unique look to them. The backgrounds and locations all look great as well. And on the off chance that you don't know this, the people over at Topcraft would sometime later close that studio down, and they would form a very well known animation studio known as Studio Ghibli. So, for fans of Ghibli, you could consider this, and a few other movies that they've made as pre-studio Ghibli films. Because the quality is definitely here and would definitely be matched up to what you would see in a Ghibli film. So yeah, I can totally recommend this thing to those fans based on that aspect alone. However, I am getting *slightly* ahead of myself here. I still got a couple of things left to mention before I actually get to the recommendations. But first and foremost, the animation here is spectacular.

Before I get into the remaining technical stuff, there is one thing that I do want to mention, and this is a real minor nitpick, but it is something I still want to talk about. I'm convinced that this movie was suppose to be a made-for-TV film. I say this, because throughout the entire movie, there are moments that it will fade to black before cutting right back to the film. And that's what made me believe that this thing was suppose to be made as a television film. I kinda think that, had this thing been theatrically released back in the day, you wouldn't be able to see those kinds of transitions pop up in the movie. In fact, if you were able to cut all of those transitions out, you would probably at least cut out 30 seconds of time on the film itself. Now yes, I totally understand, again, that this is all trivial and pointless, but it is something that you could possibly notice, and whether or not it bothers you at all is definitely left up to interpretation. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, and I was able to get through this thing with no problems whatsoever. So yeah, it's a minor nothing to bring up, but I still wanted to mention it, just in case you haven't seen the movie yet.

Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here, in terms of it's score, is great. It definitely feels very fitting for a fantasy movie. There aren't really any songs in this movie, outside of the opening title song that's performed by Don McLean. And before I forget the guy who composed the music for this movie, he goes by the name of Maury Laws. And like I just mentioned, his music is great here. And you'll mostly definitely get a feel for his music whenever you get a chance to watch this movie.

So yeah, that kinda pretty much gives away what my answer's gonna be on whether or not I can recommend "The Flight of Dragons". Absolutely, yes. This movie is fucking great. If you, yourself, are a fan of the Rankin/Bass produced stuff that they have made before this one, such as their Christmas specials, or you liked movies such as "The Last Unicorn" or are a fan of Studio Ghibli films, then this movie is definitely gonna be up your alley. If you can find it on either DVD or Blu-ray, go ahead and pick it up. It's definitely worth your time and money. You'll most likely be able to find it under the "Warner Archive Collection", which holds almost all of Warner Bros. older films from decades past. You could possibly find it on VHS too, though it depends on whether or not you own a VHS player. But regardless of what version you buy, this movie is, again, worth picking up on any platform. And as for myself, I am very happy that I was able to find this at an A-Kon convention last year for almost $20. It might sound somewhat pricey, but I assure you that it's still worth your money. And I'm totally honored to have this movie be a part of my ever-growing DVD collection. Now, I'm gonna go and watch the other film that I have brought up quite a number of times in this review, which would be "The Last Unicorn". I'm gonna go and watch that right now, because this movie has put me in the mood into rewatching that classic again, and it's been a while since I've seen it anyway, so I may as well go and do that as soon as possible.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Savage Beach

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering an action film from 1989. That movie is "Savage Beach".

Now, this movie's a bit of an interesting case, because out of all the films from the "Triple-B" series, this is one of the only ones to actually spawn a sequel. A sequel, I should mention, that won't happen until much later on in this "Triple-B" series. I'll get more into that in a second, but first, I should quickly mention that this is the fourth entry in the "Triple-B" series, and it also stars the same two ladies that were in the previous two films. So, I'm not gonna expect anything good when it comes to their acting. I'm also expecting more of the same things I've seen from the other films, such as topless women, over-the-top action scenes, and a plot that will most likely not matter in the grand scheme of things.

Now, I should've mentioned this back when I first started doing this series with "Malibu Express", but there are at least 12 films in Andy Sidaris's "Triple-B" series. Not counting the stuff he made back during the 70's, since he didn't start up the "Triple-B" series up until 1985 when he first made "Malibu Express". So, there's quite a bit he made here. I should also quickly mention that this film will be the last one I cover from Andy Sidaris, at least for a while. Since there's 12 films in this series, I'm not gonna burn myself out by reviewing all of his movies every other week. I kinda learned my lesson back when I reviewed the "Digimon Adventure Tri." series a couple of years. Those movies burned me out and kinda made me lose interest in "Digimon" for quite a while, and I don't want to see a repeat with these movies since there's more than half of what the "Digimon Adventure Tri." series consisted of, which was 6 in case you didn't know.

So, with that aside, I'm hoping this one will at least be as entertaining as most of the previous movies have been so far. Good, I'm not really expecting out of this, considering these movies have been far from "good" anyways. But I'm still hoping for this one to be just as entertaining as most of the previous movies were. And the only way I'm gonna know for sure is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Savage Beach".

10 minutes later

All right, so we have *another* member of the Abilene family named Shane, who I'm going to assume is going to be the main substituted character for Travis from "Picasso Trigger". I would love to know exactly what happened to Travis, but I have a strange suspicion that they're not going to address that at all. They might, but I have my doubts about that.

20 minutes later

So, guys, I'm gonna ask this because I am somewhat curious here. When does this movie start to get interesting? So far, the only bits of information that we've gotten for a plot is that some treasure is sunken somewhere near a Japanese war ship, and our heroes have successfully delivered the medicine to some sick children at a hospital. That's interesting and all, but can we actually get something going here? I'm not asking for these action scenes to quickly pop in here and all, I'm just asking for something interesting to happen is all. And so far, I haven't really gotten that yet.

1 minute later

Wow, OK...so we just a had businessman blow up shortly after receiving his payment from a suitcase. Admittedly, I was gonna ask why exactly didn't he open it up to check to see if the money was legit and all, but I don't have to now, because he's dead. So...yeah, I guess that answers my own question.

16 minutes later

You know, guys, this is the second time now that we've seen our villains, Martinez and his chick, having sex with each other, this time in the back seat of a car. And throughout their interactions with each other, they sound kinda cartoonishly evil that it sorta makes their characters stand out a little bit. It's not much, mind you, but it is at least kinda something.

15 minutes later

Hold up, I just thought of something. So, Donna and Taryn have been stranded on this island for a number of days now, possibly a week, couldn't tell you exactly. And our villains just landed on the island with their super-secret plane that is radar-proof. Instead of just following them, why don't the women just take the plane for themselves and leave the villains stranded on the island? Yes, I know it wouldn't exactly be in their moral code, but it would make a lot more sense considering how long they've been on the island and all. Yes, I understand that I'm trying to put logic into an action film, especially of this caliber, but it is something that I still wanted to ask.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Savage Beach". Let me go ahead and shut the film off here...OK. So, where to start here...?

You know what? I'm just gonna get straight into this one, and I'm gonna start, as usual, with the writing. Now, if you read my review for the previous Andy Sidaris flick, which was "Picasso Trigger", one of the big complaints I had about that movie was that the writing for that thing felt incredibly convoluted and didn't really make a whole lot of sense. It felt like the movie wanted to go with a slightly more serious story, but it ended up not working that way because it tried *way* too hard at doing all these things with it's story and characters that it just ended up failing miserably at it. I bring this up, because "Savage Beach" is how you do it properly. In fact, I'm gonna go on record by stating that this is quite possibly the strongest script I've seen from Andy Sidaris up till this point. Most of everything here is very coherent, and while there are a couple of things here and there that you could poke holes at, it's still very easy to follow, as the framing device for this film centers around this treasure that is hidden on this remote island, which our two leading ladies get stranded on and are trying to survive, while a couple of other factions enter the fray in which they're after the gold for their own various reasons. There's also this feral Japanese soldier, whose backstory I won't spoil, because they don't really go into depth on that until towards the very end of the movie.

Speaking of which, why don't we actually touch upon the characters here next, shall we? Now, most of them aren't really that well developed, and I'm mostly gonna include the two factions that are on the island, both the U.S. and the freelancers. There's a lot of betrayal in this movie from them, and most of it doesn't really make any sense if you try to put too much thought into it. In terms of our main characters though, Donna and Taryn function almost the exact same way that they did in the previous films, and their characters really haven't changed all that much. I do want to touch upon Shane Abilene, though, for a moment. Because, and I'm gonna be quite honest with you guys, he is quite possibly the blandest character out of all the Abilene's from the previous films. Not only is he bland, but he really plays no factor in the movie at all, which makes sense considering his lack of screen time he has in this movie. And at a point in this film, I had to ask myself why exactly do we need *another* Abilene in this film, especially if he's not gonna serve any purpose at all? You could've just solely stuck with Donna and Taryn, and you really wouldn't miss a thing with Shane. The only thing he really does here is give out some mission statements in regards to delivering some medicine to sick children at a hospital. But other than that, he does nothing else. And again, you could've cut him out of the film entirely and you wouldn't be missing anything with him since he is that bland and forgettable.

But otherwise, like I said, the writing here is still pretty solid, at least by the terms of it being an Andy Sidaris action flick. The action scenes mostly take place on the remote island, and there is, of course, quite a bit of boob shots with the women. It's not as much as it was in the previous films, but it still does exist. So, there is that. The acting here is a little bit of a mixed bag. Now, I'm actually going to do something that I haven't done for the previous two Sidaris films, and that is me actually complimenting the acting from our two leading ladies that play Donna and Taryn. This is, quite possibly, the best effort I've seen when it comes to their acting. Now, mind you, when I say that, I'm not saying that their acting is great. In fact, it still isn't really that good. But if I had to compare their acting here to the previous two films that they were in, it's probably the best effort that they have given out, thus far. They feel really comfortable on camera, and they seem to have some really decent chemistry with each other in the film. So I am going to give them some praise on their acting here being far better than what it was in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger". The rest of the acting here, again, ranges on being a mixed bag. Some of it is hammy and wooden, which I guess is sorta on par with the previous films, since the acting there wasn't really all that good anyways.

Special effects are mostly pretty good. In terms of what you'd come to expect from an Andy Sidaris film, most of it is the usual. I'm talking about the blood and gore effects, the pyrotechnics, and the squib work on the guns being decent. All of that is there, and it's mostly sorta average at best. I do want touch upon make-up effects, specifically, one in particular that kinda struck out at me. So, while Donna and Taryn are stuck on the island, they come to realize that someone has been watching them, and that they feel the need to go look for whoever it is that's watching them. So they decide to put on some make-up on their faces that, I guess, was suppose to either be war make-up or them trying to put on half-assed camouflage. I say that, because once they put the make-up on, they start to comb the area together. And on the very next shot as they're doing this, you can see the make-up on their faces is already gone. Which either means, again, they used some really shitty make-up, or the movie couldn't be somewhat more realistic by having the make-up stay on their faces from scene to scene until it's completely gone. The very fact that it's disappeared from their faces from right after they put it on seemed kinda strange to me. Though that honestly could be just more of an editing slip-up by the editors as well, so make of that what you will.

But beyond that, guys, the camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting here is actually great. But then again, similar to the previous films, most of this was shot on location in Hawaii. So it would actually be a challenge from someone to fuck up with the lighting in these particular movies. The sound-mix is mixed well enough. The score here is honestly nothing special. They try to mix it up with a combination of 80's synth music, to electric guitars, to also some Japanese music as well. It's not terrible, mind you, just kinda average at best.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Savage Beach"? Well, once more, only if you are either a fan of Andy Sidaris's previous films, or if you like these kinds of cheese-ball action films with lots of gorgeous women on screen with their boobs hanging out. Either way, I can still recommend it enough to where it's serviceable for both sides of the spectrum. Mind you, it's not a great film by any means, but it's still entertaining enough to where I could see myself watching it again at some point. And who knows? Maybe it's far-off sequel will actually be pretty entertaining, too. But that's another for time, hopefully, as, like I mentioned earlier, this will be the last Andy Sidaris film I cover for a long while. Maybe I'll cover more of them next year or something. But until then, I'm gonna go and watch something different. Perhaps I'll watch something, like, "Dredd" again. I can almost never get tired of rewatching that movie. So that's what I'm probably gonna do next after I get done typing this review up.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Knucklebones

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 2016. That movie is "Knucklebones".

Now, this movie caught my interest, mainly for it's premise alone. And the premise is that some college students play some sort of dice game, which unleashes a monster known, appropriately, as Knucklesbones. And they have to finish the game before Knucklebones kills them all off. Basically, guys, the premise is what would happen if you took the concept of "Jumanji" and you turned into a horror movie. That sounds really fucking awesome, and this movie could certainly live up to it's amazing premise.

However...I have seen enough movies in this series to know that just because you have an amazing premise doesn't necessarily mean that your movie's gonna be any good. And this movie could certainly fall into that trap like many others have beforehand. That said, I *really* want this movie to be awesome. But I really won't know for sure, unless I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Knucklebones".

16 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe can confirm two things, so far. First off, the acting here is *horrible*. Like, this is genuinely some of the worst acting I've heard in a horror movie in a *long* time. Also doesn't help that the dialogue sounds incredibly unnatural on top of it. And secondly, I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons...well, it finally stopped now, but the music that was just playing a moment ago that posed as "rock music" is complete shit. Um...I'm hoping that maybe this will turn itself around at some point and get interesting. But as of right now, we're off to a really bad start here.

9 minutes later

All right, I'm just gonna throw this out here right now, guys. We've been introduced to all of our main cast of characters, and I despise every single one of them! I hope and pray that Knucklebones just kills these sacks of shits off in the most gruesome ways possible, because that is how much I am beginning to detest them!

9 minutes later

O...K...well, that's certainly rather unique. I never though I'd see a summoning of Knucklebones happen by just having this bitch's bones literally coming apart while Knucklebones himself just comes out of her like a pregnancy gone horribly wrong. I'm gonna say, that was actually sorta cool, and I'm also happy to say that it couldn't have happened to a more unlikable person in the group. So, I'm glad to see her dead. Hoping to see the rest of the characters meet a similar fate sooner rather than later.

6 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a dumb question here, but something just came to my mind. So earlier, one of our characters called 911 shortly after they summoned Knucklebones, and she tells them where they are and that he just killed one of their friends. The sheriff just called Neesa's mother and says that he got a lead from somebody else and says that they headed somewhere where, according to him, there's nothing out there except for 50 miles of cow dung. Now, assuming that the 911 call did go through, how has he not received the 911 call yet?! Isn't it a job by a 911 operator that you're suppose to relay the message to any nearby police officers in the area that they got a tip-off from someone that a killing has taken place so that they can go check it out? I'm only asking this, because this has got to be one of the worst police officers I have ever seen in any kind of movie that portrays them as being incompetent! Guys, I'm really starting to lose my patience with this horrendous writing and I have a strong suspicion that it's not going to get any better within the next 38 minutes or so.

14 minutes later

So one of the only survivors who survived Knucklebones massacre from the 70's now finally dies by his hands. I would love to tell you guys that I feel sorry for his death, but...no, I really don't. His character, just like everyone else's in this movie, completely sucks. I'm even going to include Knucklebones in there as well, but I'll talk more about that once this movie is done.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Knucklesbones". And, good lord, that ending was retarded as shit. I'm just gonna shut this garbage movie off now...OK. Wow, just...what the fuck happened here? How the fuck did this movie take a premise that would've been really cool, and turn it into... this sort of turd? Good god, um...well, I guess that sorta gives it away. I wanted this insane premise of a movie to be awesome and...I'm proven, once more, that these kinds of ideas don't make for good movies. And this one is most certainly no exception.

So, I guess I might as well get into this thing now and try to dissect what went wrong with this movie. I may as well just start with the writing. The writing here is complete dogshit. Now earlier, I stated that this movie was essentially what happens when you take the basic premise "Jumanji" and you implement it as a horror film. And it really could've been cool, but instead, it just ends up as another bland, generic slasher film that ends up becoming stupider the more that the film goes on. Not only that, but the comment I just made in regards to the premise being similar to "Jumanji" unfortunately is explained in a rather stupid and convoluted way. Basically, the way that our main characters have to summon Knucklebones is through some old documents that explain how you to have to summon him in a specific way where you have to roll the dice bones in a ritual star to where all of the bones have to land on a specific part of the star on each side. And once that happens, Knucklebones is released and he starts going on his killing rampage. And the way that you have to stop him is through the exact same methods. So, it's not really a "game" per se, it's just more of rules on how you have to stop him in order to destroy him. Which then, unfortunately, turns out to be, like I said, a really generic, been there done that slasher film that we've seen many times beforehand. And the saddest part about all this is that it's not even a well-written slasher film either. It's just really fucking bad.

Why don't we start with the biggest problem that this movie suffers from the most; which is our characters. I don't care how many times I have to repeat this kind shit before it gets to these filmmakers heads. When you're writing a horror movie like this, it would help if you have well-written characters that we could care about. I'm not asking for them to have ultra-deep backstories or anything like that, just give me a reason to care about *any* of them. Give me a reason why we should care about these characters that are going through these horrible situations against Knucklebones. And this movie fails to deliver on that aspect. All of our characters here are unlikable and devoid of personality. It also doesn't help that when you're first introduced to them, they're all written as rather douchey and their dialogue is even worse. I'll get to that in a second. Now, the worst of these characters has to go to our main character, Neesa. The only bit of backstory you learn about her is that she and her boyfriend broke up because of vague and stupid reasons, which ultimately leads her into going emo by almost killing herself in the bathtub, before she gets transferred over to a hospital. Which then suddenly leads her into having a dream where she ends up finding the box which features the dice bones of how to summon Knucklebones, and she ends up hearing voices in her head afterwards. Because, I guess, if you try to kill yourself, you'll be connected to Knucklebones in some way. I don't know, it doesn't make any sense at all as to how it all works, and me even trying to explain that bit kinda hurt my head a bit.

Speaking of hurting, that brings me to the dialogue. The dialogue in this movie is fucking horrible. Mostly because, a lot of these characters don't talk like normal people. In fact, I don't think the writer, and director, for this movie, who goes by the name of Mitch Wilson, has ever heard a natural conversation before in his life. Which is why in the beginning, when all of our main characters get together, most of their dialogue consists of them talking about sex, masturbation, or something related to that subject in some way. And like I said, none of this dialogue sounds natural, and they all come off as incredibly unlikable partially because of those reasons. Another example of horrible dialogue comes when a group of other characters shows up in the second half of the movie, who serve no real purpose other than being killing fodder for Knucklebones. One of the girls of the group decides to part ways with them for a moment to look around for some copper. And when the guy with the beard asks if she wanted him to accompany her, she tells him that she would rather be "horribly murdered". I bring this up, because within two or three minutes after making that comment, she ends up getting killed by Knucklebones. And that's really more of a case horrible telegraphing, because this movie has all of the tension and suspense of a dead cat. Knucklesbones himself is no better, because he himself also suffers from horribly forced and cringe-worthy dialogue that would make Freddy Krueger frown upon in disappointment.

So yeah, guys, the writing here is just awful on every aspect. There is not a single thing here I could comment on as a positive when it comes to this movie's writing. And naturally, when you have writing that is this bad, and dialogue that is completely unnatural, you would follow it up with horrible acting. And, lull and behold, nobody here puts in any level of effort that is even partially good. Now, in most cases, I would say that when you have a script that is just horribly written, you shouldn't expect your actors to make any of their dialogue work. However, I honestly can't use that excuse here because I am convinced that most of, if not the entirety of the cast, doesn't know how to act. I believe that none of these actors have ever taken acting lessons in their lives, and it shows. None of them show any real emotion on their faces, and when they try to put on some level of emotion, like acting scared or trying to cry, it's so horribly done that it makes me kinda hope that these people *never* set foot in front of a film set ever again until they've taken proper acting lessons. Now I'm not saying that they have to reach Oscar-worthy levels of acting, it just has to be something that's at least competent. And, well, competent is something that these actors severely lack. So yeah, the acting here sucks from top to bottom.

Special effects in this thing aren't really that good, at least in terms of using CG. The CG here is all cheap and horribly done. Both of which include the fire effects and one other effect that happens during the ending of the prologue where the explosions looked like it came out of a Playstation 1 cutscene. It really is that bad. Practical effects are OK, with the best being the first time you see Knucklebones being summoned. It really does look cool, and it is honestly the only real effect here that I could consider partially decent. It's not great, mind you, but it's certainly the only good moment that I could remember from this movie. The costuming on Knucklebones is also decent, too, though it's honestly nothing special.

Camerawork here is OK, but I do have to comment on something that seemed like a really missed opportunity. See, a lot of the kills in this movie are done off camera. And there were a couple of missed opportunities that this movie could've capitalized on, had they wanted to showcase how Knucklebones kills his victims. One example I could think of is during the latter half of the movie, in which Knucklebones ends up killing someone with a blowtorch. And it would've been really cool to see this on camera, but sadly, the camera is shot in a way in which you only see the front of Knucklebones killing his victim without actually seeing the blowtorch scorching the guy's face off. Also, and this has nothing to do with the kills but something else that I kinda noticed. Now it may just be me that noticed this, but I have to ask: Does this director have a foot fetish or something? I ask this, because Mitch Wilson, at times, really likes to focus on the shot of women's bare feet. Now I don't know if that was something intentional, or he really just likes seeing women's bare feet, but it was something that I did notice and felt like it was worth mentioning. Who knows? Perhaps maybe he's Quentin Tarantino's sperg of a cousin that is never brought up in the family for various reasons. Either way, those shots just seemed kinda off to me.

Now, beyond the awkwardness of those shots, and the missed opportunity of seeing some cool-looking kills, the camerawork here is decent for low budget standards. Lighting here is OK. The sound-mix here is also mixed well. The score and soundtrack, though, kinda suck. The score is just a typical, generic horror movie score that's been done many times beforehand in other horror movies, and the soundtrack, what all of 1 or 2 songs in this movie, completely suck balls. I could remember nothing about the music in this movie, beyond that terrible rock music that they played near the beginning of the movie. So yeah, the music here kinda suck.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Knucklebones"? No. Hell no! In no way, am I *ever* going to recommend this film to anyone! Even if you are a fan of slasher films, there are a dozen other horror flicks that are far more worth your time than this shit is. It had a great premise that was ultimately ruined by terrible execution. That, coupled with the fact that we had acting that is beyond terrible, along with the dialogue sounding like complete garbage, there is just no way I can recommend this film to anyone, even if you might have some sort of morbid curiosity. And before anyone might ask, yes, this film is available on YouTube for free. However, I assure you, guys, this film is not worth even that much time! Like I said, there are far better horror flicks that you could be spending time watching over this thing. And speaking of which, I'm gonna go and watch one of those right now. I think I'll go and watch my copy of "Stitches", because that certainly is a much better horror flick than the garbage I just sat through for almost 80 minutes.

Good lord, was that movie horrible...well, anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Picasso Trigger

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering an action flick from 1988. That movie is "Picasso Trigger".

Now, I don't really know a whole lot about this movie, outside of a couple of things. First of all, it's the third movie in the "Triple-B" series by Andy Sidaris. Secondly, the two actresses who played our main characters from the previous movie, which was "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", are reprising their roles for this film. So, that kinda leaves me with a bit of dread, mostly because their acting in that movie was fucking terrible. However, I do understand the method as to why Mr. Sidaris casted these women, seeing as how they had some connection to Playboy and Penthouse Playmates. So I'm not about to complain about that. I just don't have much hopes for their acting to improve at all from "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" into this one.

But who knows? I have been surprised by a lot of things in this series, so perhaps maybe their acting will improve here in someway. It's doubtful, but they could still prove me wrong. I'm hoping that the rest of the movie is gonna live up to the cheesiness factor of what these movies were trying to accomplish. But the only way I'm gonna know the answer to all of that is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Picasso Trigger".

8 minutes later

OK, guys, I know it's early for me to be commenting on this, but I have to ask it. So we're being introduced to Travis, who's now taking over the Malibu Express. So...what exactly happened to Rowdy, the previous Abilene from "Hard Ticket To Hawaii"? Did he also just retire to become an actor like Cody did? I'm hoping the movie will explain that at some point, because the fact that they just keep changing Abilene's is sorta bugging me a little bit.

6 minutes later

So, upon spotting a chopper following these guys, one of them aiming a bazooka at them from the side, the blonde guy decides to tell the fat guy to pull over to the side of the road, just so he can shoot the chopper with his tiny ass pistol of all things, and the car immediately blows up thanks to the fired-bazooka. On what grounds was it a good idea to stop the car?! At the very least, they could've gained some ground before the guy with the bazooka fired on them. Yeah sure, they probably still would've died anyways, but at least it would've made a little bit more sense than stopping like a deadass retard who's asking to be blown be up! The logic behind that move made no sense at all.

13 minutes later

Well, guys, I believe can confirm one thing that hasn't changed from "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" to "Picasso Trigger". The acting from our two leading ladies is just as bad as it was in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". Mind you, I kinda predicted this would happen, but still, my hopes about their acting getting better here is dashing away pretty fast already.

20 minutes later

You know, guys, I find it sorta funny that the movie is actually now trying to dump us with all this plot exposition. And what I find sorta hilarious about all this is that, up until this point, there has been hardly *any* plot to speak of. And what's even more funny about all this is that, even with this plot exposition, I'm still having a bit of hard time following it because there's just too much exposition here. I want to care about it more, but I'm just not finding much of reason to do so here.

18 minutes later

You know, guys, for an action film, there is *barely* any action going on...unless, of course, you want to count any scene involving women having sex with guys or showing off their breasts at almost any given point. And honestly, I'm having mixed feelings about this. I'll talk about that later, when I get to eventually review this movie, but I just wanted to let you guys know now that there has hardly been any action scenes at all happening in this movie up till this point.

3 minutes later

OK, well...that was sorta interesting. This guy just eye-poked this large dude's eyes to death ala 3 Stooges style. Certainly kinda messed up, but at least it is something interesting.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Picasso Trigger". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, where to start here? Well, first off, I am gonna say that this film almost has the exact same problems as "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" did. And I'll get more into that in a second here, but I gotta admit, even though the problems with this film are noticeable, it honestly didn't bother me as much as it did in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". So, bear that in mind as I review this movie, because I know it may not sound like it makes any sense to you guys when I say that some of the same problems that happened in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" aren't as prevalent as they were in this movie.

So anyway, let's actually get into the movie itself here, and I want to start with the writing. The writing here is honestly the weakest point of the entire film. Now I understand that since this is an action film, writing is not something most people look for when watching an action movie. However, I feel like, when compared to the previous two films, this one seemed like it was trying to take itself somewhat more seriously with it's plot. The problem with that, though, is that it tries way too hard at it. Because, up until around the 40 minute mark of the film, the movie really didn't have much of any plot at all. The only thing you really knew is that an agent named Salazar, better code-named as Picasso Trigger, ends up getting killed in Paris, and our two female stars, along with Travis Abilene, are being sent out to find his killer and everyone associated with him. Which, OK, it's pretty simple to follow at first, but then, after around the 40 minute mark or so, they dump you with this mountain of exposition about all of these shady villains and how they're all connected in some way. And it doesn't work, because since there's so much information to grasp, you're gonna have a very hard time following it all. Especially if you're trying to view this thing as a serious action flick. It just doesn't work in this situation.

Now, setting that part aside, I want to touch upon the characters next. First of all, Donna and Taryn are just about as a bland as they were in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". Though if there is any consolation, Taryn doesn't reference anything related to James Bond here, like how she did in the previous film. It's not much of a positive, but at least it's something, I guess. And then, there's Travis Abilene. First off, they don't explain why he replaces Rowdy Abilene in the previous movie. He just does, really, simply because fuck you, that is why. But leaving that aside, the movie actually tries to give Travis some kind of character depth, as there's another character in this movie named Pantera that he shares some sort of questionable relationship with. Now I won't spoil how it all turns out in the end, if you're really curious about that sort of thing. However, the problem with all this is that Travis's personality is about as interesting as dried-up paint. There's nothing about his personality that's in any way interesting. Which is saying a lot, considering how boring of a character Rowdy was. And yet, somehow, they made Travis even more of a boring Abilene than Rowdy. And part of the reason why I believe this to be the case is the actor playing him. However, I'll get more into that once I cover the acting.

One other thing that I want to comment on, in terms of the writing, is the overall pacing of the film. This movie's pacing, similar to "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", is kinda bad. There are scenes and subplots in this movie that go pretty much nowhere. And also, the action scenes feel far more spaced-out than they were in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". Which admittedly, can be seen as a more of an issue of the bunch, because most people who care about the action aren't really going to find a whole lot of it here until the 3rd act of the movie. Now I could also mention that are far too many scenes in this movie where the women will either be topless or have sex with another guy in some way, however, I'm not gonna be able to do that here. Because, again, these kinds of trashy movies were Andy Sidaris's bread and butter, and if you didn't know about that, then I'm letting you know now, because that's the kind of movies he made which were very successful, regardless of the quality of the movies itself. And I am gonna say that, even though this movie isn't great by any stretch, I will say that it's quite possibly the most perfect kind of fanservice movie out there. And if you're into that kind of thing, then you are absolutely going to love this as the actresses in this thing are, admittedly, sexy as hell. And if anything else, at least this movie definitely lives up to that standard.

But overall, guys, the writing in this movie is definitely the weakest out of all the films I've seen from Sidaris up till this point. As a serious plot-driven story, it fails miserably. But as, like, a mindless action film, there is definitely more enjoyment to be had here than "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". Which I know is probably a bold claim, considering how well liked that movie is. But like I said, I wasn't able to get into that movie as much, because the problems became a little too much even for me. This film, however, while it does suffer some of the same problems that movie did, it doesn't really bother me as much here because I was honestly still entertained enough to where I was able to overlook most of the problems that normally would bother me with plotless action films like this. So, it's kind of a give or take situation here. The writing is definitely not good, but there is still quite a bit of enjoyment to be had here with this movie, what with the action scenes in the 3rd act being wild and over the top and, of course, the mountain of fanservice that is present in this film.

Now, with that all said, there are still a couple of more problems with this movie that I do want to make mention of. One of them is, naturally, the acting. The acting in this movie is just about as bad as it was in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". The two leading actresses who play Donna and Taryn sound just as terrible as they did in the previous film. So if you're expecting their acting to get any better here, you're gonna be shit out of luck, because the acting from them is just as terrible here as it was in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". I'm also gonna include Travis Abilene's actor, who goes by the name of Steve Bond. I mentioned, earlier, about his personality being about as interesting as dried-up paint. Well, the reason why I made that comment was because his acting in this thing is *incredibly* wooden. The dude has no range in his voice and he makes no effort in breaking that wooden acting of his. In fact, his acting is so wooden, that he almost out-wooden's Chuck Norris's horrendous acting! That is a fucking feat to nearly accomplish, but Steve Bond almost nails that in the worst possible way imagined. So, make of that what you will. The rest of the acting, like I said, is pretty bad. Though honestly, from the rest of the entire cast, it could've been a lot worse, too.

Special effects in this thing are just about as on par as they were in previous two films in the "Triple-B" series. You have the standard squib-work for the guns, blood effects that are kinda few and far between but are still passable, and you also have the pyrotechnic stuff, which is pretty good. Speaking of which, though, I do have to comment on one thing in regards to the explosions. See, there are a couple of scenes in this movie where you get to see the explosions up-close, and on a couple of those occasions, you can see the obvious dummies that go flying from the explosions. Which, honestly, is the only kind of bad effect that you see in this movie. However, it's only if you're really looking for it. I happened to notice it on those couple of occasions and felt like they were noticeable enough to make mention of. So really, it's just something that you have to take for what it's worth there. Otherwise, guys, the special effects here are, more or less, the same kind of thing that was in the previous two films.

Camerawork here is pretty good, and I will also say that the shitty editing that was present in "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" is thankfully not present here. So, that is definitely one big positive I can give this movie. Lighting here is really good. But then again, a lot of this was shot during the day on different locations, so that's kind of a given. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The score here, I will also say is a vast improvement over "Hard Ticket To Hawaii". While the 80's synth music is still present here, they also bring back some of the country music that was present in "Malibu Express". And while it's certainly not memorable, it's definitely an improvement over the shitty score that "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" had. Where with that thing, it mostly had that 80's synth music which sounded shitty and terrible, and also brought out the worst from 80's music. At least here, the synth music is a lot more tolerable and felt more in place than how the previous movie sounded. So if anything else, the score is definitely an improvement in this movie.

Overall, guys, when everything is said and done, can I recommend "Picasso Trigger"? Only if you liked the previous two films from Andy Sidaris. This movie is filled to the brim with that 80's cheesfest action that is present, even if it admittedly is mostly present in the 3rd act. It also has a lot of fanservice in the movie that I know will definitely satisfy those who like seeing sexy women showing off their boobs and such. The story is, again, the weakest part of the film. And as such, if you go into it with the mindset of looking for a serious action-filled story, then you're not gonna be able to enjoy this film. But if you go into it with the mindset of it being a plotless action flick that has that Sidaris charm to it, then you are going to love this thing. And as for myself, while I didn't quite enjoy "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" like a lot of other people who saw that film did, I most certainly found a lot more enjoyment here than with the previous movie. So, I'm definitely going to be watching it again at some point. I'm just hoping that the other one I'm gonna cover in this run of Sidaris's films is gonna be just as fun as it was here. Now...with that said, I think I'm gonna pop in another action film from my DVD collection somewhere. Who knows? I might just end up watching another 007 movie. Which one? I don't know, but I'll find something there to watch again just as soon as I can figure out which one I haven't seen in a while.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.