Reaction & Review | The Outing

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 1987. That movie is "The Outing".

Now, I should first let you guys know that this film is part of that 4 movie combo pack I mentioned back when I reviewed "The Godsend", and it's also the last one, too. And I'm hoping this one might be decent, though I can't say for certain yet.

Now, I've read the synopsis to this movie, and I'm gonna tell you, guys, that this film has the potential to be so stupid that it'll end up being really funny. Essentially, guys, the movie's about a girl who ends up becoming possessed by a genie from an ancient lamp, as she and her friends are all spending the night over at a museum. And what comes after, I'm going to assume, will be all hell breaking loose between our main cast of characters and this demonic genie.

Now I say it might be so stupid that it's funny is because the whole idea of this premise sounds dumb as shit. But at the same time, I can't help but feel that I'm underplaying it a bit here. Because this movie might actually end up being really cool and amazing. However, I'm not really sure if that's actually going to happen or not. I haven't seen any trailers or clips from this thing, so I can't know for sure if this movie will swing either way. Or if it'll end up totally sucking.

Really, guys, I don't really know what to expect from this movie, outside of knowing it's premise. I'm just gonna go into it here and see what this movie can do with it's interesting premise. So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Outing".

13 minutes later

So, guys, even though we don't see this genie yet, it's been released from it's lamp and is already killing off our three thieves. Well, the third one's about to be killed anyway. She's too busy screaming while running upstairs topless and in her underwear. I'm kinda hoping, maybe, that we get to see this genie in it's physical body sooner rather than-oh, now she's being killed off and it's by hanging...I guess. Either that, or she's being choked to death by the genie while being invisible. Not sure why there are sparks going off all over near her feet. I will say, though, at least the kill is effective. So, whatever works for our genie, I guess.

10 minutes later

Jesus Christ! Guys, I've hardly ever used toasters before, but I've never seen one pop up toast to where it was on fire. And I can't exactly blame this on the genie's 'magic' or anything, because that came out naturally on it's own like that. I don't even know any toasters that can do that, let alone ones that came out in 1987. That's honestly new to me, guys.

10 minutes later

Hold up, I just realized something, guys! So our main character's name is Alex, and she's asking her teacher if a magic lamp ever existed. And the teacher's response is her talking about an evil spirit known as a Djinn. My god, this is basically "Wishmaster"! Except, this came out before "Wishmaster" did, so I can't really call it a ripoff...huh. You learn something new everyday, don't ya, guys?

6 minutes later

OK, so the sparks I mentioned earlier about why exactly they were even there is basically an indication that the genie is near someone. Granted, it still doesn't exactly make a whole lot of sense, but at least it's something resembling an explanation. So, kudos to the movie for answering that thought I had.

15 minutes later

You know, guys, who's starting to get on my nerves right now? Besides Mike and his idiot friend, it's this singing cop. He's been singing since the museum's closed and I would be deeply shocked if he survives. I have a strong feeling he won't, but I would be shocked if he did. I'll just have to wait and see though.

4 minutes later

Well, guys, I called it. The singing cop is now dead and killed with a spear, too. Hopefully, Mike and his dumbass friend is next. Cause those two are even more irritating than the singing cop, and I hope their death is as painful as possible. Looking forward to that.

7 minutes later

OK, that's sorta new. I haven't seen that much blood on a body before from a bunch of snake bites. Granted, I've never been bitten by a snake, thank god, but I don't think that much blood would come from small snake bites. But maybe that's just me.

4 minutes later

Well, guys, I got great news. Mike and his douchebag friend are now dead and it's almost exactly as I hoped it would turn out for them. Granted, I could've wished for a little more pain on them, but you know what? I'll happily take what I can get out of it. It was totally worth it.

7 minutes later

Well, guys, it took a bit of time, but I finally get to see the genie in it's physical form...and he actually looks pretty cool! Granted, I can't exactly hear what he's saying, since his voice is so fucking filtered it hurts, but the design looks really cool, so at least there's that.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Outing". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, where do I begin here? Well, I guess I can answer something that I brought up way early on. Is this movie as dumb as I thought it was going to be. Oh, most certainly. This movie is dumb as shit. Is it also so dumb, it's funny? Oh yes, at times, it really is. Is this movie good? Eh...not exactly, no. But I can't deny the fact that I really enjoyed this film. This thing surprised me on how interesting it really was. I really was not expecting that kind of thing from this film.

So anyway, let's go ahead and dive right into this thing and talk more about it, shall we? Let's start with writing. Now earlier, I brought up the comparison between this movie and "Wishmaster", because our main character has the same first name and is also connected to the djinn, in a way. And you'd think, considering this movie came out a decade before "Wishmaster", how much of the similarities are there between the two films? Well, while there are a couple of similarities, most of everything else is it's own thing. The only real differences that I noticed is that the Djinn in "Wishmaster" came from an ancient jewel, while with the genie in this movie came from a magic lamp. Also, the genie in this movie can only be destroyed by destroying it's lamp, while with the Djinn in "Wishmaster", they kinda jump around it from it's sequels. Thankfully, there's only one good sequel, however, I'm not gonna muddy things up here by talking about the awful "Wishmaster" sequels after 2.

So yeah, while both movies have similar ideas, they're not enough to where I can say "Wishmaster" ripped off this movie or vice versa. Not that I can do that for the latter because, again, this movie came out long before "Wishmaster" did. Which still kinda floors me a bit. But anyway, setting the similarities aside, what about the rest of the writing? Well, the setup is honestly nothing special. Apparently, Alex ends up seeing the lamp at her father's museum and she accidentally opens it up after coming into contact with one of the items that is related to the genie, AKA the bracelet, which was also seen in the prologue of the film. She puts it on and realizes that she can't take it off. It's forced upon her. And somehow, she was able to keep this hidden throughout the entire movie without her Dad, or anyone else, realizing this. I would've thought that, when her father's assistant was showing him an old photo featuring the old lady from the prologue when she was younger, that he would've also pointed that out. But instead, he only wanted the father to focus on the lamp that was in the background. I'd have to check again to see if the bracelet was present on her or not. I'm not entirely sure on that.

But anyway, going back to the setup of this film. It's later on, during the school field trip, where Alex, who later gets possessed by the genie after she releases it, goes along with her friends suggestion that they should stay at the museum overnight simply because. Yeah, there's no real explanation beyond that. And it's here where I should also say that we've seen this kind of setup before in other horror movies, where a group friends or colleagues get together in some place and stay overnight there. I'm thinking of movies like "Chopping Mall" and "Shakma" for example. Those are two movies I can think of where they had that same kind of setup. And while this movie is nowhere near the level of how good "Chopping Mall" did it, it's certainly a lot better than "Shakma". Simply because they were in a museum the whole night, while with "Shakma", it was regulated to a laboratory. That, and the premise in that film was kinda poorly handled. Here though, they were able to do a lot more creative things, thanks to them being in a museum. Though I'll talk a little more about that when I get to special effects.

Our characters really don't have any sort of depth that is interesting or likable. The latter in which it includes characters like Mike and his douchebag friend. I really thought that, after what happened in school, that they would be expelled and would get sent to jail. Well, the former does happen, however, for some reason they're *still* set free and go after Alex and his friends for what happened early on in the movie. Long story short, Mike and his douchebag friend end up in a mini car chase against Alex and her boyfriend Ted. And we learn from Ted that Mike was Alex's former boyfriend. What the fuck Alex saw in Mike I'm not even going to question. But regardless, Mike and his friend end up getting stopped by the police and are taken away. Well, I guess that wasn't enough, because they are somehow released, probably on bail by their parents, and are back in school as they get into a fight with Ted, and it soon ends up with Mike pulling a knife out during the fight. Alex's teacher steps in and reprimands them, which causes the principal of the school and the police, who I guess someone called them while the fight went on, and they're finally taken away again. And they probably should've stayed there, too. But I guess we can't always have nice things all the time.

So yeah, Mike and his douchebag friend are the most unlikable characters in this entire movie. Our other characters aren't really all that interesting. Alex, our main character, is kinda bland overall. Her father is in the same boat. And at first, I thought they were going to do something with their relationship, because they talk about how her Dad is always focused on work and she never feels like she's a free person. And at one point, she even mentions, or jokes for that matter, that her father would just disappear or even die. Then a moment later, they do a 180 on this and immediately makeup. And what she says about her father doesn't get mentioned again until much later on in the movie. However, I'm not gonna get too deep into that one for the sake of spoiling the whole movie. It's also been noted that Alex's Dad is also going out with her teacher. Now that's not really much of an issue, except when she and her Dad are out at dinner together, he begins to say that he's going to marry her and that he'll tell Alex the next day. Which I find a little odd, because Alex already knows that he's in love with her teacher to begin with. So I don't think she would've reacted differently to this whether he told her or not. But that's just me, personally speaking.

So, overall, the writing here isn't really anything really special. But even so, it's rather decent on it's own standards. Yes, it's still dumb as shit and it can also be funny as hell at times, but I'm still really surprised that the movie was able to keep me invested in what was going on. And it's never boring either. Admittedly, it does have a little bit of a slow boil to it, but I can assure you that there is quite a bit of payoff towards it's final climax, and I'd say it was totally worth it. Now, in regards to the acting, it's kinda decent for what it is, though it does range on being laughably bad. Some of the actors tried to ham up their performances, which I'm totally cool with as long as they don't go overboard with it. And it does kinda work. I'd say the weakest performance here would have to be the actress playing Alex. I don't really know what it is exactly, but there's just something about her performance that seemed slightly off to me. Now I will say that her performance here isn't completely god awful or anything, however, there are times where she will sound either flat or will try to overact a bit. The latter isn't really that noticeable, apart from where she tries to yell during the final climax of the film, but the rest of her acting isn't really all that good, especially when she tries to sound possessed. It just didn't exactly sound right to me is all. That said, her acting here is still passable for what she tried to work with, but it still isn't really that good either. So it's just something that you kinda have to tolerate for what it is.

Special effects here are a very mixed bag. Now obviously, this movie was made on a rather low budget, so you really have to work with what you're limited to. And the one effect that's going to stand out at you the most is the genie, when he's in his physical form. Now when it comes to the puppetteering on the genie himself, it actually looks pretty good. The design looks pretty good, too, for something that looks like a demonic djinn, anyway. However, when it's not in it's physical form, it will travel invisibly and will also possess people on occasion. And when it happens, you'll notice how their eyes turn full green. Now those kind of effects are cheap and really kinda shit, as are most of the visual effects in this movie. But aside from that, the blood effects are pretty good for low budget standards, as are the gore effects. Granted, there's not a whole of them, but for what few that do exist here, is still pretty good. So, special effects are still a mixed bag. That said, even though the visual effects are terrible, as are the green glowing eyes, I still kinda liked it, as it does bring out a certain charm to the movie overall. At least, that's how I feel about them anyways.

Camerawork here is pretty good, but I do have to comment on the picture quality for just a moment here. You see, this version of the movie that's on this 4 movie combo pack that I have, feels it came from a VHS port of the movie. And you can totally tell that because of the graininess that appears on screen. I feel like someone over at either Scream Factory, who put out this 4 pack, or MGM, who originally distributed the movie, took a dazzler and just transferred this movie from a VHS and just ported over onto DVD without cleaning any of the footage up. Now mind you, the movie's not completely unwatchable or anything, but I do have to warn some people in advance that the picture quality of this movie from this 4 pack isn't going to be high quality standards or anything like that. Now I do know that this particular movie was released on Blu-ray, where it also has it's original title known as "The Lamp", and the copies of it on Blu-ray are rather limited. So if you can somehow find a copy of it somewhere, go ahead and pick it up, because I imagine that the picture was cleaned up a bit more, seeing as how it's also on Blu-ray and everything. But still, like I already said, the movie is still watchable on the 4 pack. Just, again, don't expect high quality stuff there.

Lighting here is pretty good. The score here is nothing special, although there's one track on the very opening credits that sounded very annoying, because it kept looping the same sounding tune over and over again. It really sounds like something that would come from a casio keyboard, honestly. And I would not be surprised if that actually was the case. I could be totally wrong there, but still. The sound-mix here, though, could've definitely used some improvement. The biggest one being the genie's voice. And I didn't comment on this when I was talking about acting because the genie speaks with a filtered demonic voice. And I would've been totally fine with that...if I could actually understand what the hell he was trying to say. Again, guys, this genie's voice sounds so filtered that I couldn't understand a lot of what he was trying get out. I could, maybe, make out a few sentences here and there. But aside from that, you're not gonna understand a lot of the genie's words here. And I'm not totally sure if I should be blaming the actor voicing the genie or the sound editor who didn't try to find a balance on making the genie sounding a bit more listenable. So yeah, they definitely could've fixed that a bit. Some of the sound-mixing in other scenes isn't great either, but the genie's voice is the biggest offender when it comes to the sound-mix.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Outing"? Yes, I totally can recommend this one, for sure. As long as you're able to overlook the somewhat low quality that is on this version of the movie. If not, then you might just want find a copy of one of the limited Blu-ray releases, if you can. But if you still want to take the chance with the former, then by all means, go ahead and do that. Now I'm not sure if it does have a standard DVD on it's own. Which, if not, then I would totally try to find the 4 pack that it's on. In fact, I would say that this 4 movie combo pack is totally worth it. At least for 3 of the 4 movies. The only one I would try to avoid on it is "The Godsend", since that's the only one I didn't like. But that's just me, personally. If you want to take a chance on that movie, then that's totally on you. Still though, this 4 pack is worth the purchase, and I'm totally happy that I was able to snag this combo pack at my local mini mall last month. Now...seeing as how I just got finished watching a movie about a demonic djinn, I'm gonna go and watch the first "Wishmaster" movie again right now. And if I'm up for it, maybe I'll just marathon both this and the second film right afterwards. So yeah, I know what I'm gonna be doing next after I get done with this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Calamari Wrestler

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Japanese film from 2004. That movie is "The Calamari Wrestler".

And I believe that titles summarizes everything I know about the plot to this movie. Which is about a wrestler who's also, apparently, a calamari. And yes, I know that it's suppose to be a guy in a calamari suit, but unlike modern wrestling, I.E. WWE and AEW, who constantly go out of their way to destroy kayfabe, and have to keep beating you over the head about it, I like to try to broaden my imagination a little bit when it comes to professional wrestling and it's kayfabe.

So anyway, now that I've gotten that mini rant out of the way, I'm gonna tell you, guys, I'm really looking forward to watching this movie. In fact, I've been wanting to watch it for a few years, however, thanks to scheduling conflicts, I didn't get a chance to do so, which is why it kept getting pushed back. But now that I finally have room for it in the schedule, I now get to see what this movie can do with this sort of premise. And the only way I'm gonna know if this thing is any good at all is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Calamari Wrestler".

5 minutes later

All right, guys, allow me to summarize everything that's happened within the first 5 minutes or so of the movie. Two wrestlers battled it out for the title. One of them wins with a submission hold, and then soon after his victory, our squid wrestler appears in the ring and challenges him for the title. And long story short, the squid wins with a Northern Light suplex pin, thus winning the title from our newly crowned champion. And the only thing I have to point out here is that *nobody* is questioning the fact that a squid just won your world championship title! But hey, as I said earlier in my remarks about kayfabe, I'm going to give this movie the benefit of the doubt and see where they go from here.

13 minutes later

Wait, so let me if I understand this. So the head guy of Super Japan Pro Wrestling is comparing our calamari wrestler to stuff like nuclear war, terrorism, mysterious viruses, the economy, politics, and all this other shit, to anxieties of the people of Japan in hopes that a Japanese wrestler beating the calamari wrestler will raise their spirits. Dude, what kind of drugs are you on to compare heavy shit like that to a squid wrestler beating another wrestler? I mean, I can kind of understand what he's actually trying to convey here, such as when an American defeats a foreign heel for national pride or something, but it's still a really stupid comparison. Just thought I'd mention that.

18 minutes later

You know, guys, what's really making this film stand out so far? The fact that they're just kinda playing it straight up, what with them acknowledging the squid wrestler as if it's some normal entity, is what's making the whole thing even funnier. I'm really liking how they're handling the writing in this film. It's really good, so far.

4 minutes later

OK, guys, I was just about to comment on a really stupid pun...but I'm gonna ignore that because, holy shit, it's Yoshihiro Takayama! Dude, that is an awesome cameo appearance we're getting from him. If you don't know who Takayama is, go look up some of his matches sometime. They're really good.

12 minutes later

O...K...I was totally not expecting that appearance from Taguchi. I'm curious as to how that happened to him, but still, I was really not expecting that kind of change. And no, I'm not gonna tell you what that change is, guys, you're just gonna have to watch the movie for yourself.

9 minutes later

OK, now we have a...bug kind of creature beating up our calamari wrestler with boxing gloves...and it's known as the Squilla Boxer. What the fuck am I watching?!

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Calamari Wrestler". Let me shut the movie off now...OK. Wow, um...I'm trying to figure out where to start with this film? So, you guys remembered earlier when I said that I kept putting this film off? Well, I probably should've seen it earlier, but I guess now is a better time than any. This film is great! I really enjoyed this movie a lot, guys.

So, why don't we start thing off, as usual, with where I normally start with these reviews. Let's start with the writing. Now the main thing you have to take into account here is the fact the premise here is overly ridiculous, and the filmmakers knew this going in. There's no way in hell that you're gonna take a movie with this sort of premise and turn it into a serious movie. Now yes, there are some moments in here where they add in some serious bits, but it's never heavy handed and it doesn't weigh the down the film's tone at all. This film is a comedy first and never shies away from it. The filmmakers took a ridiculous premise and ran with it, and thus the result is what you get with this movie.

Now since I'm on the subject, let's talk about the humor in this movie. The humor here is great. It's very sharp and, although there may be one or two jokes here that are kinda shit, and those are mainly puns, everything else here is funny as hell. It's very sharp and witty and you're guaranteed to get a laugh out of it. That's how good the humor is. Also, and I'm probably the one who kinda noticed it, they even referenced some of the "Rocky" films to an extent. You have the first, with the calamari wrestler winning the big title in semblance with Rocky winning his first big championship. Then you have the big rematch between the calamari wrestler and Taguchi, which is also similar to the rematch between Rocky and Creed in the second film. And they even referenced the third film, where you have Taguchi training the calamari wrestler for the next upcoming big fight, which is also similar to Apollo Creed training Rocky. Now if you've never seen any of the "Rocky" films, you probably wouldn't notice these references. As I said, I'm probably the only one who notices some similarities between those films and this one. But still, it's very brief, and also really good stuff, too.

Our characters here are also very interesting and very likable. In fact, damn near the entire cast is very likable and have tons of personality. Which is something that I haven't seen from a lot of movies nowadays, though that's just a personal thing. This movie has a ton of charm and personality that really makes it stand out in a positive way. And on the subject of our calamari wrestler, I should mention one thing about him. Without spoiling anything, they give out a twist about our calamari wrestler, and they do it pretty early on, too. And it's something that you're either gonna get use to or you're just going to flat out despise it. I say this, mainly because, again, our plot is about a squid wrestler, and it does have a backstory that if I tried to go into detail about, I would already be giving away the big spoiler. However, I'm not sure if it's really as big as I'm making it out to be since, again, they reveal it pretty early on. And they also give you hints very early on, too. So it's not like you're gonna be lost or confused about the origin of this calamari wrestler. It's just something that you have to take for what it's worth. It really just depends on how much you can suspend your disbelief about a movie involving a squid wrestler.

Guys, I'll just summarize here: The writing in this movie is great. Not just in terms of humor, but it also has a unique charm to it that will suck you in, especially if you're a fan of professional wrestling. That's part of the reason why I wanted to check this movie out in the first place because I am a wrestling fan. Granted, I don't really follow much of modern wrestling nowadays, but I still enjoy it from a time when it was actually interesting. And this movie is definitely on the high interest scale. It is such a good movie. Now, the acting is also pretty good, too. Mind you, there's no English dub here, as you only get it's original Japanese audio with English subtitles. But what you got here is all of the actors just livening it up and having a blast with their roles. No one here is phoning it in and I would imagine that if you tried to phone it in for a movie like this, then you have no business being in this film. Every actor gives out a 100% in their roles and they do a really good job with it.

I haven't had a chance to talk about this very often, but I want to mention the fight choreography. Because, since this movie involves wrestling, you would naturally have to consider how to incorporate it with our titled character. And I'm gonna tell you guys, right now, the fight choreography is really fucking good. All of the matches in this movie, what few there are, are very entertaining and you do get a taste of how our calamari wrestler...well, wrestles. He does have some standard wrestling moves like suplexes and rest holds, but he's also a capable fighter, too, as you get to see him striking his opponents with his tentacles. It's really good stuff, and I gotta give a ton of props to whoever it was in that costume doing the choreography the entire time. I gotta imagine that it must've been hot as hell in that suit, but I'm sure he had to have a lot of fun being in it, too. And that definitely counts for something.

And since I'm on the subject, let's talk about the costuming here. Costuming in this movie is fantastic. The details on our titled character looks great, as is that Squilla Boxer I mentioned a while back. This is some very creative stuff here when it comes to costuming. All of the suit work involving these costumes are great and if it's possible, I would love to see how they came up with this stuff behind the scenes. And I do believe the DVD does have that option, so I'm gonna have to check that out at some point whenever I get the chance. But yeah, guys, costuming in this movie is fantastic.

Camerawork here is really good. Lighting here is perfect. The sound-mixing is great. And the score here is also really good, too. In fact, there was one track that played during the ending credits that I listened to for a bit before shutting off the movie to do the review, and it sounded really good, too. So I'm probably gonna have to listen to more of that at some point on my next viewing of this movie.

And I guess that more than gives away on what I'm about to say next. When all is said and done, guys, can I recommend "The Calamari Wrestler"? Oh, you bet your ass I'm gonna recommend it. This movie is great. It's great as a comedy, it's funny as hell, and it's also a big love letter to professional wrestling. If you are a wrestling fan and you're interested in checking out some wrestling movies that you haven't seen before, then I would *highly* recommend this movie. It is amazing, and I'm proud to finally own a copy of this movie on DVD for my ever growing collection. So now, I'm gonna go and browse some older wrestling DVDs that I have and watch one of those. I'm not sure which one yet, but I have plenty of options, so I'm gonna go do that next after I get done with this review here.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Godsend

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out a British horror movie from 1980. That movie is "The Godsend".

Now before I get more into this movie, I do need to let you guys in on something that I kinda sorta neglected. See, at the start of this month, I reviewed a movie called "What's The Matter With Helen?". And I didn't mention it back then, but I was reviewing that movie off a combo pack known as the "4 All Night Horror Marathon" that I had bought at my local mini mall sometime ago, which contained four movies. And of the four movies, I've already reviewed two of them. Those being "What's The Matter With Helen?" and "The Vagrant". This movie is the third film off this 4 pack and I can say, so far, that I've already batted a thousand here. Because I liked both movies and I'm hoping this third one will continue that winning streak. And just in case you might be wondering, yes, the 4th movie will eventually be reviewed as well.

Now, as with the case of this movie, I don't really know very much about it. According to what I read on the film's description on the back of the DVD case, it's about a family that adopts a baby after the birth mother disappears. Which then later leads into the family's own children being killed off, supposedly, by her. I don't know how, exactly. I'm hoping the movie will provide some kind of explanation for that.

Really, guys, beyond what I just told you, I'm going into this one as blind as I can here. I'm hoping for it to be good because, again, I'm doing really good with this combo pack and I would love for it if this movie were to continue that positive trend. But the only way I'm gonna know for sure if this movie is any good at all is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Godsend".

11 minutes later

Wait, so Alan discovers that the phone is dead upon trying to make a phone call to the doctor. And the reason why is because the creepy blonde woman is possibly going into labor. And he didn't even bother to check the disconnected wire that was not attached to the phone anymore? I should mention, by the way, that this creepy-looking woman is also responsible for disconnecting the telephone wire in the first place. Why she would do this, I don't know. But it's kinda stupid for both Alan and his wife to not check the phone wire to see if it was actually connected or not. Just something I wanted to bring up is all.

6 minutes later

OK, hold up here a second. So their youngest child is dead, and their adopted child, who's now named Bonnie, was with the baby at the time of his death. And they don't immediately suspect that Bonnie might've had a hand in the baby's death? I mean, sure, it's possible that the kid's death might've been an accident. But we don't have *any* information about how he died. Which is already fucking suspicious as it is, but I still think it's kinda stupid that they don't immediately suspect Bonnie who, again, was with the baby at the time of his death. But hey, maybe that's just me trying to put logic into a family situation that I have no hand in.

13 minutes later

So wait, Alan's actually blaming his son for, not only pushing Bonnie, but also because she broke his toy. The boy is saying that Bonnie broke it, and upon immediately getting a no answer from Bonnie after asking if she broke his toy, he immediately assumes that the son is lying and sends him to his room until he tells the truth. Guys, I may not be a fan of children, but I would at least hear both sides of the story before I decide to take disciplinary action. But then again, I'm not a parent to begin with, so what the hell would I know?

20 minutes later

Sorry, guys, for not very much. This movie, unfortunately, really hasn't given me a whole lot to work with within the last while now. Mind you, the film hasn't exactly been bad so far, it's just that it's starting to drag a little bit. I'm hoping the next 40 minutes or so will actually pick up pretty soon, otherwise, this movie's starting to become a little bit dull.

13 minutes later

All right, this has been starting to bug me for a while now, but I feel the need to address this. Bonnie's been talking in the most monotone voice I've been hearing her speak. Either this is a wake up call for her adoptive parents to notice her behavior in the way she speaks, or she's just a terrible child actress. Either way, I'm willing to believe one or the other at this point.

The Review

So...the movie just ends on a rather anti-climatic note. O...K, well then, I'm just gonna shut the movie off now...OK. So, guys, that was "The Godsend". Um...I'm gonna be honest here, this movie kinda sucked. Again, it's not outright horrible or anything, but I really thought this movie was gonna do more with it's premise. But unfortunately, that's not really the case here.

Why don't we just go right into this one and start with the writing. Now, as the movie was going on, I found out that this movie was based off a novel of the same name that came out a few years prior to this film. The novel was written by a man named Bernard Taylor. Now I obviously have not read the novel, so any comparisons to this film would be ultimately pointless. That being said, I don't really do that much anyways, since I always prefer to have the movie stand or fall on it's own without being compared to the source material. Though I will say that if I ever come across this novel, chances are that I'm not gonna be reading it anytime soon, because if this movie's plot was anything like the novel this thing is based off of, then both the movie and it's novel are kinda shit. I know I probably shouldn't be saying that, what with me not having read the novel yet. However, this movie didn't really sell me much on it's premise, so I'm not really gonna be bothering with the novel anytime soon.

So, setting that aside, this movie's premise, as I've already spoiled at the beginning of this, is our family, the Marlowe's, takes in a child after the creepy-looking woman gives birth at their home and she conveniently disappears the next day, leaving the baby behind for our family to look after. Now, if you're hoping to look for any kind of answers as to who this woman is and where exactly she came from, don't bother. Because after she disappears from the Marlowe's home, she doesn't reappear again in this movie up until the very end where Alan tries to stop her from going off with another family. And a bit of a spoiler here, he fails to stop her after she disappears again, thus the movie ends on a really anti-climatic note. Now, I know it's very well possible that there's more to this creepy-looking woman in the novel and where she came from, however, since I don't compare books to it's movie adaptations, I can't really clarify that. So any theories that I may have of her are completely thrown out the window here since the film didn't take the time to properly explain anything about her.

Now as for our little child killer here, Bonnie, she really is not that scary-looking nor is she frightening in any way. And yet, she's able to off every single kid of the Marlowe's. And that's where we come into the first problem of this movie. Almost all of her kills are implied, save for the last one. You never actually see her attempt to kill off these kids on camera. As I've said, almost all of them are implied. Now you can probably guess a couple of them on your own. Such as when one of the boys is in the water, so it's possible that Bonnie drowned him. Another one you can probably guess is the baby's death, where she might've used that thing, a small blanket, she was holding to strangle the baby to death with. And on the last one, well, you actually see her pushing the daughter out of the window as she falls to her death. And I know I'm kinda already spoiling this, however, the movie is well over 40 years old at this point and I don't think a lot of people are clamoring for me to not spoil this for them. If you are somehow spoiled by it, then I'm sorry, but the movie's synopsis clearly advertises that all of the kids are being killed off, so I don't know what you want me to say about it without spoiling it.

But yeah, Bonnie is not scary in the slightest. And most of her implied kills aren't really that interesting either. Which then brings me into one of the big problems that this movie has is that the pacing here is just slow. Now normally, I don't mind slow paced movies as long as they have somewhere to go. However, this movie doesn't really go anywhere right after all of the sons are killed off and the Marlowe's move to the city in London. It just drags on for quite a long time and nothing of interest happens. And mind you, this movie is supposedly 93 minutes long. However, that runtime is a bit of a lie, since the movie ends a little after the hour and 20 minute mark and I sincerely doubt that there's 10 minutes worth of credits afterwards. There might be, however, I normally shut the movie off after I see ending credits, so I'm not gonna go back and check on it.

Our characters here, aside from the not scary-looking child, are also not as interesting either. Both of the parents are kinda stupid for different reasons. The mother is more on the stupid side, since she keeps denying the fact that Bonnie had a hand in killing the rest of the kids while Alan is trying to convince her that she's not a normal child and tries to get his wife to get rid of the child. However, being the kinda rock stupid person that she is, she takes the child in, even shortly after their last birth daughter gets killed because of maternal instincts, or some such retarded bullshit like that. And as for Alan, well, I'm surprised he's kept his suspicions about Bonnie being the one who killed the kids to himself for so long that I'm surprised he didn't take this information to the authorities sooner. Now yes, I understand why he didn't do that because he didn't want to traumatize his wife, however, there comes a time when you start to put the pieces together, like he does in this movie, and that he should've found a way to get rid of Bonnie sooner rather than later. In fact, he should've done this the moment that his birth daughter gets killed, but doesn't, and since Bonnie is now with the mother after she and Alan supposedly divorce, it makes him just about as stupid as his wife.

Guys, there's no other way for me to put this, but the writing in this movie is just stupid on a whole host of levels. Granted, it's not as stupid as it could've really been, but it's still a rather badly written film. That, plus the premise itself is kind of weak anyways, especially when you have a child killer who's nowhere near as interesting as she could've been. Speaking of which, that greatly transitions into the acting. The child actress who's supposed to be playing our child killer is fucking awful. She has no kind of emotion in her voice, which I know is probably suppose to be intentional, because I guess her mother in this movie is suppose to be emotionless for some reason, but to me, that's just more of a 'fuck you, that is why' reason. I'm sorry, but this child cannot act. Even with the few amount of lines she has in this movie, she sounds awful in every delivery she gives out. And I would also hand that out to most of the Marlowe kids, however, I'm willing to give them a pass because they have even lesser lines than Bonnie's actress, and also, they're not really the focus of the movie since they're supposed to be killed off anyways. But as for Bonnie's actress, I cannot do that. She sounded awful and didn't get any better as the movie went on.

Now I will say that when it comes to the acting from the adults in this movie, it's great. Every actor there actually gives out a rather strong showing and were able to make due with the script that they were given. Which is great, because normally, when you have actors struggling with a shitty script, you can't really expect miracles from them. This movie, however, even though I didn't like the story, I am willing to praise the adult actors for putting in a really good showing for their characters. So, kudos to them, they definitely earned their paycheck.

Camerawork here is decent, though there are a couple of odd moments where the camera will look odd and blurry. One moment I can think of is when Alan is taking Bonnie out to the beach, and the camera will remain blurry on the corners of the screen and I have no idea why they did such a thing. Also, there was an odd transition toward the end of the film where Alan is walking with some old guy in the park as the screen will slowly fade to normal and the dialogue doesn't kick in until after it happens. I have no idea why that transition happened, unless they wanted to make it like some time had passed or something. I don't know. Those moments really didn't make too much sense to me. Aside from that, though, the camerawork here is pretty good. Sound-mixing here is also competent, and the lighting here is also really good.

Music...oh dear lord, the music. OK, I will say that the score here is fine for what it is. However, there is one piece of music that plays almost every time the camera focuses on Bonnie. It's suppose to sound ominous and creepy, and that would've been fine...except they play almost the exact same fucking music over and over every time she's on camera! And if the goal was suppose to make Bonnie look scary and is about to murder someone, then I'm sorry, but it does not work. Because they play the same fucking music every time she's on camera and I grew sick of it very quickly. In fact, if anything else, it makes your child killer less threatening, aside from her kills almost all being implied. So yeah, the score here is fine, except for that one piece of ominous music that you'll grow sick and tired of listening to.

So, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Godsend"? Personally, no. The premise itself is really weak, and though it could've been really interesting, it just fumbled with it and doesn't really do much of anything with it. I'm also not particularly fond of children, and this movie didn't really make me change my mind of them. So yeah, there's really nothing much here I can say that is even worth watching for. In fact, I mentioned earlier that I was batting a thousand with this combo pack that I bought, and I was hoping that this movie would also continue the positive trend I had with these movies on that combo pack. However, I ended up eating my own words here because this movie ended up being a dud, so my perfect streak with this combo pack is over. However, there is still one more movie on here, which I'll get to later on. For now, though, I'm gonna go watch something better. Um...perhaps I'll just watch something like "Audition" again. That one, actually, I haven't seen in a while, so I'll go and do that next, just so I can be rid the thought of ever watching this movie again.

So anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Alien Apocalypse

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Sci-Fi channel original movie from 2005. That movie is "Alien Apocalypse".

Yes, guys, you heard me right, this movie was originally aired on the Sci Fi channel. Which I know will probably be seen as a red flag to some people, because the words 'Sci Fi channel original movie' usually means that it's more than likely gonna suck. However, I do have a little bit of hope for this one. Partially because this one wasn't made by the Asylum. Which, if you're not familiar with that studio, they basically produce mockbuster titles of big blockbuster movies and most of them air on the SyFy Channel, because that's the only network that will allow their kind of crap to be aired on there. But I digress.

Now the only other things that I know about this movie is that, one, it stars Bruce Campbell. And according to a blurb I caught on the back of the DVD case, it's supposed to be "Army of Darkness" meets "Starship Troopers". Now sadly, I still haven't seen "Army of Darkness" yet, however, I am a *big* fan of the first "Starship Troopers" movie. And this movie claims to be the best of those kind of worlds. Which I'm gonna say, it's a rather bold claim to make, although I think the only reason why they went with that blurb is because, again, it stars Bruce Campbell. However, that's just me speculating about minor bullshit.

Now I am hoping for this movie to be really interesting. You'll note that I said the word 'interesting', because I'm not really expecting this film to be any good. However, this movie could actually somewhat surprise me here in a way and actually end up surprisingly decent. However, considering this movie was originally aired on the Sci-Fi Channel, I still think 'decent' is probably going to be stretching it a bit. But still, I am really curious all the same about how this film will turn out. So the only thing I need to do right now is for me to shut up so I can push play and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Alien Apocalypse".

7 minutes later

Thank Christ that lieutenant is fucking dead. She was already starting to get on my nerves and I'm thankful she was killed off rather early. So hey, the quicker the better, I say.

6 minutes later

Guys, we're barely 15 minutes into the movie and we already have another one of our characters killed off. This time, it was from one of the aliens. And I gotta say...they actually don't look too bad. I mean, granted, the CG on them isn't great, but their design actually looks pretty cool, so I guess that counts for something.

7 minutes later

Wait, so let me see if I understand this. So for 20 years after the bombings and nearly everyone was killed save for those the aliens forced to work over to pick wood for them, the President of the United States and a few of his senators have survived the bombings and have been recruiting slavers to rebel against the aliens in their time of need. And it's all according to this one kid and I'm going to assume is suppose to be his mother. How do they know that the President is still alive after all this time? I'm really curious about this because if they've been waiting this long for the President to act against the aliens, then that means that he should've already recruited more than enough people to stage a rebellion against the aliens. Either that, or he's possibly dead, or been dead for around the 20 years that they said he's been supposedly alive. Guys, this movie's already run into a massive logic hole and I'm not even sure if the movie's going to address even one of those claims that I've already brought up.

10 minutes later

So, one of these aliens just died via a stabbing by Hood, who killed the alien with a small wooden object of sorts. So apparently, these aliens are really easy to kill. That's...good to know, I guess. It's kinda stupid, but at least they're not hard to kill.

19 minutes later

You know, guys, when I went into a movie called "Alien Apocalypse", I was expecting some kind of goofy, Sci-Fi action flick. Instead, I'm getting a dull, boring fantasy-esque sci-fi movie where Ivan and company are searching for the President. This isn't really what I signed up for, guys. And I'm beginning to lose interest in what's happening right now.

5 minutes later

Wait, where the fuck did those people come from?! I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but no, apparently, Ivan and friends recruited more fucking people than I realized. And again, I have to ask, where the hell did these fucking people come from?! Either there are deleted scenes in this movie that I'm not made aware of, or this movie was originally it's own version of a fantasy movie that was about 2 and a half hours long and they had to cut it down to around 90 minutes. Either way, this movie is still nonsensical and boring as shit and I still got about another 34 minutes to go before it finally ends. And I can't for it to end either.

15 minutes later

Guys, I'm gonna give this movie one thing. Bruce Campbell is the only one here who's actually trying to make this movie stand out. I mean, granted, the movie is still shallow and boring as shit, but at least I can see that he's trying to put in the effort. Which is more than what I can say for most of the entire cast of this movie, but I'll save that for later when I talk about the acting in this thing.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Alien Apocalypse". Let me shut this movie off here...OK. Dear sweet merciful god, where the hell do even I start here? Well...I suppose I can say that this is quite easily one of the most disappointing films I've seen in a long time. Now sure, I've seen other films before that I've had hopes for and most of them at least end up being kinda disappointing. But this movie, however, ranks high, high up there in the disappointment factor because I cannot believe a movie like this turned out the way it did.

Now, I gotta try and talk about this film in more detail. Let's start with the writing. Now, I have a theory about something. And mind you, this is all just a theory. I don't have any actual proof of this so you just have to take this for what it's worth. But I believe that, when this movie's script was being written, it wasn't meant to be a Sci-Fi film. I believe the director of this thing, Josh Becker, who also wrote it too, wanted to write a standard fantasy movie. However, someone over at the Sci-Fi channel approached him and suggested to shoehorn aliens into the story, thus this is how this movie got to air on the Sci-Fi channel. Again, I don't have any concrete proof of this theory, however, I would not be shocked if that's how it turned out. And as a result, this is the movie that came to be and, well, it shows.

Now to further prove my point on why aliens were shoehorned into this movie, they're barely fucking in it! Which is weird, because this movie's title has the word 'alien' to it, but they're hardly in it at all. Do you want to know what this movie likes to focus on more, though? Well, it will either focus on the slaves working at the sawmill, or you have Ivan and a band of former slaves travelling to the mountains to find the President, who's rumored to have a freedom fighting force that will launch a counterattack against the aliens. And on the latter, it's where the movie starts to slow down to a screeching halt because now, this is more of a standard RPG game where Ivan tries to recruit as many surviving former slaves while trying to look for the President and save slaves from the aliens. And it's not interesting in the slightest because none of these characters have any sort of interesting personalities to make them stand out amongst each other.

And on that subject, almost every character in this movie is shallow and lifeless as they come. The only exception to all this is Ivan Hood, our main character. Ivan is a somewhat cocky bastard who still has some kind of humanity left in him as he tries to converse with the locals who pretty much have no concept of some of the stuff he says, like he's a doctor, but they don't know what that is. Or how he tries to greet them with a handshake as a sign of friendship. That kind of stuff, really. So while they may not understand it, he does try to explain it to them the best he can. And it's those aspects alone that makes Ivan the most likable character in the entire movie. Everyone else...no. His astronaut girlfriend is devoid of personality, as is most of the slaves that Ivan tries to befriend with. There is nobody else here that I can say is even worth caring about.

So yeah, guys, in short, the writing here is just bad. If this thing were a cheesy, cornball Sci-Fi action flick, I probably would've given this film a lot less slack with it's writing. However, considering that this movie felt more like a generic fantasy movie with no interesting characters, I can't give the bad writing a pass here. It's just not possible with the kind of movie that was made for the Sci-Fi Channel. Now, what about the acting? Well, most of it isn't really good either. The only exception to all this is Bruce Campbell. He really is the only actor in this movie who's trying his hardest to make this film work in his favor. And while I certainly can give him a ton of credit for trying, everyone else, though, I'm gonna say, just completely sucks. There is no other actor here that's even remotely trying. They all phoned it in and it shows. No one else here tried, though honestly, I'm gonna blame a lot of that on the script here because, as I've said plenty of times beforehand, you can only do so much with a script that's given to you. And aside from Bruce Campbell, no other actor here stood out in a positive way. So yeah, that's acting here in a nutshell for ya.

Special effects are teetering on being a mixed bag. Now again, I should let you guys know that since this is a movie made for the Sci-Fi Channel, you really should not expect any miracles when it comes to the special effects. Because, 9 times out of 10, the special effects are mostly garbage when it comes to Sci-Fi Channel original movies. And this movie is definitely not much of an exception here. I will say that I do like the designs of the aliens in themselves. And in some cases, they actually do have some shots where the aliens look practical. In other words, we have some costumed aliens. And if there were more of this in the movie, I think it would've improved the special effects greatly. However, seeing as how they are mostly rendered in CG, it brings the kinda cool-looking alien designs down a bit. The CG here is really cheap-looking, and while it's certainly not the worst offender in terms of awful low budget special effects, that doesn't really make it look good either. Like I said, the costuming on the aliens look pretty good, until they are rendered in CG and...yeah, they could've looked a whole lot better. So unfortunately, as is, the CG here is what brings this movie down greatly. Blood effects, for what few there are, are actually decent, I can give them a little leeway there. Costuming for everyone else looks OK, I guess. It's not really great, but it's also far from the worst thing I've seen in terms of costuming. So...I guess that counts for something.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is lit pretty well. The sound-mixing is actually competent. And our score here is ultimately nothing special. It's just plainly average to sum it up. So yeah, the technical work here is fine for what it is.

But ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Alien Apocalypse"? Unfortunately, no, I cannot. Like I said earlier, if this thing were a cheesy, goofy cornball Sci-Fi action flick, I would probably say it's worth watching at least once. However, though, I can't really do that here because the movie is completely different from how it actually turned out. I could maybe recommend it if you're a fan of either B movies or Bruce Campbell in general, but I still wouldn't really say that it's completely worth it just for him alone. Though if you really want to take a shot at it, I suppose you could find a copy of this thing for dirt cheap on any home media or on any streaming service, assuming that it's running on the latter. But otherwise, guys, I would just not bother with this film at all. It's just bad, and it's not really much of a Sci-Fi film to begin with. It's just a boring, generic fantasy movie that's disguised as a Sci-Fi movie. But with that said, there is one positive I can say about this film. As I was watching the previews before the movie started, one of the films they showed on here was something that kinda surprised me, but then again, now that I'm thinking about it, this movie was put out by Anchor Bay Entertainment. And one of the films they showed during the previews was "Dead & Breakfast". And upon seeing that preview, I kinda wanted to just go and watch that film again. And now that this film is finally over, I'm gonna go and do that right now. And this film, while it sucked, at least reminded me that I can be watching a much better movie right now.

So, that's what I'm gonna go do next, guys, as we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Vagrant

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror comedy from 1992. That movie is "The Vagrant".

Now I'll be honest with you, guys, I don't really know much about the movie itself, but I'm actually really looking forward to watching this one. Part of the reason is because of it's casting. I mean, you have people such as Bill Paxton and Michael Ironside as the main stars. So it does have the potential to be really funny. However, I also know that just because you have two really good stars in your film doesn't automatically make it a good movie.

Plotwise, I don't really know much about it. All I could gather is that our main character, who is played by Bill Paxton, is being driven insane by, who I'm going to assume, Michael Ironside's character. What exactly he does here to Mr. Paxton, I don't know yet. However, I'm curious all the same, so I may as well just shut up and see what this movie has to offer here. Like I said, I'm hoping for it to be really good, though I don't know if it will be or not. The only way I'm gonna know for sure is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Vagrant".

7 minutes later

So this woman, who's been showing Krakowski the house that he could be living in, suddenly just jumped on him after admitting that he's attractive that she wanted to have sex with him until he finally caved in and said yes, he'll buy the house. I'm gonna tell you guys, if a woman ever did that to me, I would probably never want to step foot in that house ever again. But that's probably just me.

14 minutes later

Wait, so Graham's response to the Vagrant just kinda hanging around near where he's at is for him to install an alarm system all over his home. And how he's able to pay for all this is by taking a second mortgage out of his home. Why the fuck would you do that?! And I should mention that it's only been about a couple of days since he's moved in to his new home, so for him to take a second mortgage out of his home just for one homeless guy is just stupid on a whole host of levels.

16 minutes later

So, guys, we're getting another one of Graham's paranoid dreams where, this time, his friend, Edie, is getting humped by the Vagrant. And as strange as that is, what's even more stranger is that Graham's expressions here make him look like Jim Carrey for some reason. I don't know why I thought that, it just kinda came to me, you know?

8 minutes later

OK...so, the old woman's fingers that were reported to be cut from her body after she was murdered from earlier is now inside the box of chocolates that were a present to Edie. Oh, and the Vagrant that was hiding in Graham's basement now just left after taunting Graham. I mean, it's certainly possible that he is the killer, but I'm still not totally sure just yet because it's all still kinda vague. But I'm still curious to see where this is all going.

9 minutes later

And now the moving lady who sorta had a thing for Graham way early on has her head and feet stuffed inside Graham's refrigerator. That is...certainly fucked up. Not sure exactly how that got all in there, but still, definitely kind of a fucked up way to die.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Vagrant". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Wow, so, where to start with this...? Well, earlier, I did say that I wanted this movie to be really good. And you know what? It really *is* good. I cannot begin to tell you guys how much I enjoyed this movie.

Why don't we just start off proper here by talking about the writing. Now admittedly, this story is kind of paper thin. And it mainly has to do with Graham being paranoid that some homeless man, AKA the Vagrant, is hanging around his house. Well, he's actually across the street from where Graham's home is at and he's just doing his own business. But anyway, Graham's paranoia comes to a point where he suspects the guy is dangerous because he's just constantly around him all the time, whether that's having odd dreams about the Vagrant, or he's just possibly somewhere in the house for real. So he tries to have a security system installed in his home by taking a second mortgage out of it, which I said was stupid earlier and that holds true, because he's in financial debt now and he has to pay it off somehow. However, the latter is not really much of an issue later on.

So, you'd probably think that you wouldn't get much of a story out of this concept, what with it being kinda shallow and all. But honestly, that's not the case. Because what makes it so interesting is that the movie keeps you guessing on where it's going to go next. I myself had many theories on what direction this movie was going to go and where it might possibly end up at. And just when you think you might have the story figured out, it still keeps you guessing on where it'll end up going. That's how fascinating the writing is in this film, guys. And also, since it's a horror comedy, I should let you guys know that the humor here is really solid, too. There were a couple of moments in this movie that really got me laughing, which I honestly wasn't expecting, partially because the last movie I watched was considered a dark comedy was "Save The Green Planet!". A movie that tried to be funny and yet didn't really succeed in that area. This movie, however, knows that it's a horror comedy. And yes, it's also dark, too. But unlike "Save The Green Planet!", where it just drifted off into becoming pitch black in it's tone, this movie is aware that it's still a comedy and, like I said, it knows when to have fun with itself.

I suppose I should probably talk about the one minor gripe that some people might have about the movie. And most of that involves our main character, Graham. See, as I mentioned earlier, he acts super paranoid throughout a good chunk of the film and it really boils down to how much of his paranoia can you tolerate? I imagine some people might see it as kind of an issue because it makes the character seem rather unlikable. And while I will admit that it could be seen as something of an issue, I really don't think that's gonna be a big deal in the long run, because Graham is very likable, despite all the paranoia he goes through in this movie. And you really do care for him as he tries to find a way out of his horrible situation. And personally speaking, I think it makes the character stand out in a very positive way because Graham just has a ton of personality to his character.

Other characters like the two police officers, one of them being Michael Ironside, going after Graham are also likable, too. Everyone else here is also likable in their own way, even though they don't really appear in the movie for too long. And I'm even going include our Vagrant, because even though he is really creepy and weird, it was obviously done intentionally and it makes him stand out in a very positive way. So, overall, guys, the writing in this movie is very sharp and really funny, too. And just to add on to all that, the acting in this movie is great. Everybody here turns in a fantastic showing, with the two standouts being Bill Paxton as our main character, and Michael Ironside. The latter, mainly because the man can take just about anything that's given to him and he can make it work. Well, apart from his shallow and disappointing performance in "Stan Lee's The Mighty 7", but I'm not gonna let that one blemish get in the way for how awesome the man can be. And as for Bill Paxton, well, the man knows how to be paranoid and awkward at the same time. He is great here, and it's probably one of his best performances I've seen from him in years. So that definitely counts for something.

Special effects are also really good, too. Admittedly, I don't really know how much of a budget this movie was working with, but I'm going to take a guess here and say that it was on the lower side of things. And if that's the case, then they definitely worked wonders with it's potentially low budget. Blood effects here are really good, as is the costuming. The makeup effects on our homeless vagrant is also really good, too. There is quite a bit of graphic detail on his face, such as one of his eyes being completely blank. Now I don't mean that he lost an eye or anything, I mean they are white blank. Now whether's that's actually his real eye or just part of the makeup effects, it's still looks really good overall.

Camerawork here is good. Lighting here is lit very well. The sound-mixing is great. Our score here is, admittedly, not all that great. The score here was composed by a guy named Christopher Young. And he has done a *ton* of music work for a lot of movies, both well-known and indie films. And I do mean a lot, too. Most of them I haven't seen before, but I can say that he's still working today, which is really cool to know. But going back on subject, this definitely isn't one of his best scores. It's just a little bit on the weak side here. At least, for me it is.

So overall, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Vagrant"? Oh hell yes, guys, I most certainly can recommend this film to you guys. If you're a fan of horror comedies, and you're looking for another one to add to the collection, I would totally add this one to it, because this is definitely a really good horror comedy and I'm definitely gonna be revisiting it again sometime soon. I really enjoyed this movie, guys, and I'm totally happy that I was able to watch it for this series. Now, I'm kinda in the mood to watch another horror comedy of sorts. I've got a couple of options here, but I think I'm gonna go and watch "Frankenhooker" again. I just saw it on my DVD collection as soon as I looked at it, so I'm gonna go do that next after I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Green Room

 

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a thriller from 2015. That movie is "Green Room".

I'm gonna tell you, guys, I know almost nothing about this movie. The only things I know about it is one cast member and the plot, from what little I skimmed on the back of the DVD case I own. Apparently, some punk band witnesses a murder and they have to escape the clutches from an evil club owner, who's also played by Patrick Stewart. Which, okay, that is something kinda different for Patrick Stewart. Because I usually see him play leading protagonists like his role as Picard from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". But I think this may be the first one of his roles where I'm seeing him playing a villain. Which sounds kinda interesting, really. So I'm curious to see what he'll be able to do here.

Beyond that, guys, I know next to nothing about this film. I don't remember seeing any trailers or clips from back in 2015, so I'm pretty much going into this one purely blind. I'm hoping for it to be good, but I don't know if it will be. The only way I'm gonna for sure is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Green Room".

3 minutes later

So, guys, this movie's just started, and we already have a couple of our main characters stealing gasoline from someone else's car just so that they could fill their own. Because rather than, you know, going to a nearby gas station and refilling their vehicle with gas, someone decided it was a better idea to just steal someone's else gas. So far, guys, we're not off to a great start with likable characters. But I'm gonna give this movie a chance and see if that'll change.

5 minutes later

You know, guys, when our rock band admitted a little earlier that they don't have an online presence of any kind, I believe I may know why they don't. Because their music, which I just listened to a moment ago, sounds like shit. Granted, there wasn't much of a song there, but if that's just a taste of what their music actually sounds like, then I may be in for a bit of a painful experience here. I hope that I'm wrong, but so far, this movie's not giving off a good first impression.

17 minutes later

You know, guys, I would love to care about the plight of our main characters being held against their will here, however, I can't, because this movie hasn't even bothered to give us any names for these characters yet. I'm not asking for much here, guys, I just want to know who these characters are, beyond the fact that they're a shitty punk rock band. And yeah, their music is still shit by the way. Just in case you care to know the quality of their music. Still hasn't improved yet. But then again, that could be said about this movie so far. So, I guess some things go hand in hand, don't they?

19 minutes later

OK, so our main character's wrist is fucking bleeding out and is broken beyond repair, and probably doesn't have the gun neither anymore. And again, I probably would care more about this if I knew who the fuck he was or why I should care about him. But I still haven't gotten that yet, so I'm gonna continue to remain uncaring until this movie finds a reason to make me care about these nameless characters.

6 minutes later

All right, I have a question here. So, as I mentioned earlier, our main character's entire arm is covered with blood and cuts. And one of his friends, upon discovering that there's some kind of underground basement of sorts, grabs some duct tape and is taping up his wounds. Now I don't claim to be a doctor, but wouldn't you try to first treat the wounds with something like peroxide, or something to that effect, before you tape up the wounds? I'm only asking because I've been in a similar accident before, though not to the extreme of this guy here, but I do know that you normally try to treat the wounds first before you try to cover them up. Unless there's nothing like that to begin with down there, however, the idiot who's taping him up didn't even try to look for anything beyond just duct tape. But then again, I kinda have something resembling a functioning brain and the asshole who wrote this didn't.

17 minutes later

So we have another one of our characters being killed off by a dog. And you know what? I would probably feel sad that our main characters are being killed off one by one, but no. I really don't. This movie is so shallow with it's characters that I'm waiting for this film to fucking end. Granted, there's more than a half hour to go, which means I still have to suffer through it, but I'll still be happy once we reach the finish line.

The Review

Thank Christ, it's fucking over! Well, guys, that was "Green Room". Let me shut this horrendous thing off here...OK. Holy shit, was that a chore to get through. You guys have no idea how bad this movie was. And mind you, I went into it, thinking that it was going to be good. Hell, I wanted it to be amazing! Well unfortunately, that was probably asking for too much, because this movie was nowhere near that whatsoever.

So with that said, let's just dive right into this one here and try to talk about it some more here. Let's start with the writing. Now, I first want to explain to you guys the concept of a thriller. And it's really not too hard either, because thrillers are suppose to be suspenseful and it's suppose to keep you on the edge of your seat. A couple of examples I'm gonna bring up here are "Perfect Blue", which is easily my favorite thriller of all time. Another example would be last week's movie that I covered, which was "What's The Matter With Helen?". That one was also a rather good thriller, too. I'm even going to include a bad one here, which is "Hellbound". AKA, the one starring Chuck Norris. Because even that movie, as much as I didn't like it, was more interesting as a thriller than this thing was. All three of those movies worked in their own way because they give you a reason to keep watching, and they keep you interested so that you can see how they play themselves out.

This film doesn't do that. It gives you no reason to keep you interested in what's going on. To start with, let's talk about pacing. And really, guys, what the fuck is pacing here? This movie is slow, it's boring, and it's really poorly paced out. Especially the last half hour of the movie. It is so slow and so boring that I almost started to fall asleep by how boring it is. And that's not something a thriller should *ever* do! But this movie found a way to make me not interested in what's happening. I was almost tempted to just shut this movie off and go watch something else. But I didn't because, as per rules for Reaction & Review, I have to keep watching all the way to the end until I see credits. And I did, but I still felt like I wasted 95 minutes of time with this film because of how boring it is. In fact, this movie is quite possibly the most boring thriller I've seen in years! And again, I want to remind you, guys, that I watched shit like "Hellbound", but at least that movie had an interesting concept for a story. Granted, it didn't exactly work, but at least it still tried to be somewhat interesting. This film, however, failed to be interesting. And it's really kinda sad when a movie starring guy who's mostly known for outdated memes and "Chuck Norris Facts" was able to be more interesting than what the fuck this movie had to offer.

Now I probably should try to cover more of the story here, but honestly, guys, there really isn't much here I can comment on in terms of story. As I mentioned earlier, our main characters, who are also part of a punk rock band, accidentally end up discovering a murder in the room that they were staying in. Shit starts to go south for our characters, which ends up becoming a battle of survival between them and Patrick Stewart's goons. Yes, I know he probably has a name in the movie, but I honestly don't remember what it is because, like with most of our main characters, none of them have any names that are memorable whatsoever. The only names I could pick up were Pat, which I believe is our main protagonist, and Tiger, who was the guy who taped up Pat's wounds and also gets killed by a dog, along with one of our female characters. And that's it. Those are the only names I could remember being uttered out in the movie. Everyone else I don't really care to look up because they're so fucking forgettable anyways.

In fact, rather than talking about the characters in this movie, I'm going to give any future filmmakers reading this review a tip on how to write interesting characters. Now I've said this many times beforehand and I'm going to continue saying this until filmmakers actually get this shit right. If you are going to write a movie, let's say a thriller for example, you want to give the viewer a reason to care about your characters. Now I'm not saying that you have to give them ultra deep backstories or anything, but the main priority should be to make them interesting. Make them stand out in a way that makes the viewer want to care about your characters and the situations that they're in. If you don't do that, then you get movies like this, where every character is vapid, shallow, and beyond lifeless. To a point where nobody's going to care about your characters whatsoever. The worst thing you could do is make the viewer hope that your character is going to die off because they have no redeeming qualities to them at all. And if that happens, well, again, you get movies like "Green Room", which is a great example of what not to do when writing interesting characters.

So yeah, guys, to sum up, the writing in this movie is beyond horrible. There is nothing here than I can say is a remote positive when it comes to this movie's writing. It's just terrible across the entire board. And adding on to all that, the acting is just as bad as the writing is. Everyone's acting in this movie is just terrible and I'm even going to include Patrick Stewart. Guys, Patrick Stewart is one of those actors where you can give him almost any kind of script and he's able to make it work. Not so much here, though, because his acting here borders on being wooden and almost lifeless. His character is shit, much like every other character in this movie, thus he had nothing work with. Now I can't entirely blame his performance here because there's only so much you can do when you're given a script that is this bad. And I'm even going to include every other actor here because it's possible that they may have had better roles in other movies. I don't know for sure yet, but if that's the case, then it has to be better than what they could do here in this movie, because all of the acting is just terrible. Except for one, however. There's a dog in this movie, right towards the end of the film, where it walks by it's dead master's corpse and just lays it's head on it's legs. That's it. That's the *only* good performance in this movie, which is really sad considering it's from a killer dog and all.

Special effects in this movie are actually halfway decent. This movie relies a lot on practical effects when it comes to it's kills. So you'll being seeing a quite a bit of blood and gore effects, and they're not too bad either. They're not amazing, mind you, but they're still at least the best thing about this movie. Same thing goes with squib work for the guns. They're also pretty good, too.

Camerawork here is pretty good. Lighting here is decent. Sound-mixing here is competent. The music here is shit, unsurprisingly. Now admittedly, this movie doesn't really have much for a score here, as there are a lot of silent moments in this movie. However, when it comes to our rock band playing their music, it becomes shit. Now thankfully, you don't get to hear a whole lot of it. But what is here from them still sucks balls. And I don't want to hear some lame ass excuse that their music is suppose to be 'intentionally bad'. Those people can fuck right off because they don't know the first thing about music in general. Now if, somehow, that is the case, and their music *was* suppose to be intentionally bad, well then, mission accomplished. They made shitty music. And again, I'm not surprised that they don't have a social media presence because they would've been laughed off from even the shittier rock bands that exist on the internet.

So anyway, when all is said and done, guys, am I able to recommend "Green Room"? Fuck no! This movie is a colossal turd on almost every aspect. As a thriller, it fails miserably on being thrilling. The pacing here is dogshit. The acting is just as horrible as the writing is. There is nothing here at all that is redeemable about this movie. It is easily one of the most boring thrillers I have ever seen in a long time. And the more that I have a physical copy of this movie around me, the more that I'm starting to feel ill just looking at it. So yeah, this thing is easily going to be traded in as soon as possible. But until then, I'm going to watch an actual good thriller. And the first thing that easily comes to mind is "Perfect Blue". I'm gonna go and watch that right now just so I can forget how awful the movie I had to sit through was.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | What's The Matter With Helen?

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 1971. That movie is "What's The Matter With Helen?".

Now, I should probably explain something first before diving right into this movie. See, when I was doing the small amount of research about this film, the genre that this movie was listed in wasn't exclusively horror. According to Google, it has a few different genre's listed under it. The genre's are horror, thriller, musical, and, I'm not kidding here, 'hagsploitation'.

Now I've heard the word 'exploitation' being abbreviated into different meanings like 'blacksploitation', but this is the first time I've heard of 'hagsploitation'. And what's even more interesting about it is that it has another term called 'Psycho-biddy'. I had to look that one up because I had no idea what that meant. And I can tell you guys what that term means. Essentially, it's about a genre of films that are set in the 1960's featuring famous older women who become mentally insane. So, I learned something new today thanks to this movie and I haven't even watched it yet.

Now beyond the many genres this movie is listed under, I don't know a whole lot about this movie. The only thing I know is that it stars Debbie Reynolds and Shelley Winters. Beyond that, I don't know anything about the plot, so I'm going into this one 100% blind here. I'm hoping for this one to be good, but the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "What's The Matter With Helen?".

12 minutes later

So let me see if I understand this. Adelle is suggesting to Helen that she should come with her to California, where they can have new lives and new names...and they're not even going to change their first names. I'm bringing this up because, earlier, someone had called them and was threatening to kill them. If this supposed killer somehow recognizes who these girls are, despite kinda changing their names to something else, then what's the point of even changing their names to begin with? Furthermore, their sons were sentenced to life in prison and the mothers were the main center of attention. I don't think changing your names and your lifestyles is gonna change very much. Just something to consider is all.

9 minutes later

OK, that's something different. I've never seen someone killed by the blades of a plow before. I'm not even sure how that all works, but then again, I've never been near a farm, let alone even a plow before. So, I guess I learned something new about plows today at least.

14 minutes later

I am gonna say one thing about this movie, guys. The music here is really good. Mind you, we haven't gotten any actual musical numbers as of yet, but what is here is still really good. I can at least say that much.

6 minutes later

So, guys, I said a moment ago that we haven't gotten any actual musical numbers yet, and now we're being treated to a musical number that's basically just a recital of Shirley Temple's "Animal Crackers In My Soup". And I'm gonna tell you guys right now, this little girl's attempt at singing *really* sucks. She obviously doesn't have the singing voice of Shirley Temple and it's bringing her whole performance down quite a bit. Just wanted to share that with you guys.

14 minutes later

So there was blood on that cardboard cutout of Adelle in her uniform. And there's a bunch of bloodied stab wounds on it, too. Not totally sure how they got there, exactly, or where the blood came from. But if that was suppose to be scary....it honestly really wasn't. I mean, OK, sure, it's kinda weird and creepy, but not totally scare worthy. But that's probably just me.

11 minutes later

So the guy who sent Helen the letter, Helen ends up pushing him down the stairs, which somehow causes his death. I'm sorry, guys, but I find it a little bit hard to believe that someone would die that easily by being pushed down the stairs. I could maybe understand if he had a concussion or something, but him dying immediately after being pushed down the stairs, which isn't really that much of a flight of stairs to begin with, is something I'm not totally buying here.

The Review

And so the movie ends the same way it does on the cover. And there's also no music playing during the credits either. OK, well, that was kind of a weird and creepy way to end the movie. Anyway, guys, that was "What's The Matter With Helen?". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So, what to say about this movie? Well, I am gonna start by saying that, for the most part, I did wound up enjoying this movie. Now mind you, I don't the movie's great or anything, but I was kinda surprised by how decent the movie was.

So with that said, let's try and get into the review proper here. I'm gonna start, as usual, with the writing. Now going into this movie, I had no idea what to expect in terms of a plot here. I mentioned earlier about the number of genres that this movie is listed under. Those being horror, thriller, hagsploitation, and musical. And for the most part, those genres stick very well here. Not so much musical, as there's only about 3 songs in the entire movie, and most of them take place somewhere near the first third of it. Every other genre, like I said, lives up to what this movie was trying to aim for.

Now as for our story, it mainly centers around our two main leads, who are mothers that move to Hollywood shortly after their sons were convicted of murder and are sent to prison for life. Adelle, the blonde sister, ends up opening a dance school for young girls who hope to make it big in Hollywood. And then things kinda go a little slow for a while with our story, because it kinda switches back and forth between Adelle getting close to a Texan millionaire named Linc. While with Helen, she kinda just goes along with whatever Adelle has going for the recital until she starts getting hallucinations about the bad things that have happened in her life, which then causes shit for her to go south later on in the movie.

I should probably transition this over to the characters, because this is where the movie does shine very well in. Our characters here are fleshed out, deep, and you do get a better sense of their backstories. Well, more so with Helen than you do Adelle. Sure, Adelle does have some bits of backstory, but nothing compared to Helen. Aside from her name being in the title of the movie, she's also the most interesting character of the entire film, too. She's both kinda innocent when she's all nice and everything, and then her mind starts to deteriorate into madness later on because of her hallucinations with her past. Such as when her husband was killed because of the blades on a plow from a long time ago, and her son, who was only 4 years old then, thinks that she killed him intentionally. Which is sort of a messed up thing to think of when you're that age, but then again, kids can think of things that a lot of adults couldn't think of. And this is coming from someone who doesn't like children, mind you. But still, it could happen, depending on a child's mindset.

As for Adelle, she's more focused on the show business part of things and ends up going out with our Texan millionaire named Linc, and she seems to have fallen in love with him and they start going out more often. Now this is where I kinda sorta have to interject here because this is honestly one of the weaker parts of the movie. Mainly because, outside of it mostly being not as interesting, you don't really see very much of a personal connection between the two. In other words, them being a potential couple isn't very believable. Though to be fair, Helen herself, early on, points that out, when she asks Adelle if he feels the same way about her? I mean, they went out on one date and she's already head over heels for him. But even so, there's not much of a real connection between the two that you're gonna really care about.

One other thing that I wanted to make mention of, which is mostly a minor gripe for me, but I could possibly see it being an issue to some people. The pacing can be slightly uneven at times. The movie's just about an hour and 41 minutes long and the movie does take a little bit of time to slowly boil itself. Which I know some people might see that as a slight turn off, however, I don't see it as much of an issue. Because even though the movie is about an hour and 41 minutes long, the movie does speed on by, and I didn't really notice much of a pacing issue because the story does flow very well and doesn't really have a lot of padding. The closest I could maybe think is the dance recital, which even then, that itself does go by pretty quickly. So the pacing here is really good.

Ultimately, guys, the writing in this movie is pretty sharp. It's not great, but it does enough here to make you interested in what's going on. And to add on to that, the acting in this film is amazing. Almost everyone here turns in a great showing, which includes our leading ladies, to Dennis Weaver as the Texan millionaire. And what's funny about the latter is that this is the second movie within the last month that I covered that features him. The last film I covered which starred him was "Duel". So that's honestly kind of cool to see him again. The only bits of bad acting that I could spot was anytime the kids started singing. I'll get more into this later when I cover music, but I'll let you guys know now that their singing is terrible. And, okay sure, I'm not expecting miracles when it comes to child actors, especially when they have to sing, but their singing in this movie is genuinely terrible. Outside of that, there's not a whole lot I can say about their regular acting because almost none of them, outside of the Shirley Temple lookalike, has a lot of lines to work with. And that's fine, because that's how a lot of child actors should operate. At least the ones who don't have a lot of acting training. At least, that's how I see it anyways. But yeah, for the most part, the acting here is really good.

Special effects in this movie are pretty good, too. Mind you now, there's not a whole lot here in terms of effects. There are some blood effects, though it's more on the cheaper side. However, I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that this movie was working on a slightly lower budget, so I don't think they were planning a whole lot there when it comes to blood effects. The costuming and makeup effects, though, are definitely more focused on, because some of it focuses on the dance recital the kids are wearing. Most of it looks pretty good, although there was one child who was wearing a somewhat suggestive dress for her age while she was performing. I'm going to assume that maybe this was a normal thing back in the 1930's when kids were performing, especially if they wanted to make it big into stardom. I don't know how accurate that truly is, although I wouldn't necessarily be shocked, considering how some kids have been treated in Hollywood for a long time. Although I won't go too deep into that, personally.

But anyway, the costuming here is still really good. And considering that this film's story was set in the 30's, most of everyone looks like how they would dress up back then, so I can at least say the accuracy of the time period is pretty good. Camerawork here is really good, as well. Lighting here is lit perfectly fine. Sound-mixing is mixed very well. The music for the score is really good. The soundtrack is also pretty good, too, with the exception of any of the kids singing, of course. As I mentioned earlier, most of these kids can't sing. The little girl that tried to sing Shirley Temple's song sounded terrible, and that kinda goes for the other child who was singing that other song that I honestly don't remember. You know, the one that I said was wearing a rather suggestive outfit for her age. But yeah, the kids singing is shit. However, I will say that the dance choreography is really good. Granted, it's not, like, on the levels of other dance sequences from other movies like "Singing In The Rain". Although in fairness, I don't think this movie was trying to aim for that. Plus, you don't have Gene Kelley anywhere nearby trying to make the actors repeat the dance choreography on multiple takes. So at least there is that.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "What's The Matter Helen?" Yes, I can most certainly recommend it. Granted, I don't know how good this movie will get better on multiple viewings, but I can at least say that the movie is pretty good. If you're interested in this kind of movie, I'm sure you can probably find it on DVD or Blu-ray somewhere. Maybe you can find it on some streaming service, assuming they haven't censored anything on it. Yeah, I should also quickly mention that this movie does have some nudity, although it's very brief. Still though, I can recommend this movie, despite all that. And who knows? Maybe I might end up covering more of these 'Hagsploitation' films if I ever come across any of them at some point. For now, though, I'm gonna go and watch something else. I'm kinda in the mood to watch another exploitation film. And you know what? I haven't seen it since I reviewed it for this series, but I'm gonna go and watch my copy of the original "I Spit On Your Grave". I know it's not an easy film to watch, but I still really enjoyed it, and it's probably the best exploitation film I have ever seen. So, I'm gonna go do that next once I get done with this review.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.