Reaction & Review | The Pagemaster

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be checking out a family film from 1994. That movie is "The Pagemaster".

Now, I have a bit of a story about this film. You see, I remember seeing the trailer for this movie way back when I use to watch movies like "Ferngully" and "Once Upon A Forest" on VHS. And as a kid, I thought it looked awesome. And I didn't get a chance to watch it until a couple of years later on TV.

Now, here's where it gets a little strange. See, while I did eventually get a chance to finally watch it...I don't exactly recall if I even liked the film or not. And I should mention, again, that I watched it on TV, but again, I don't have any recollection of whether I liked it or not. Which brings me to the present, because I eventually caved in and finally decided to get this movie on DVD and go into this one with a fresher memory than before.

Now I know this film is a fantasy movie and it also stars a young Macaulay Culkin. And I also know this movie mixes in both live action and hand drawn animation together, which is gonna be interesting to see. Now I'm also aware that this movie is somewhat of a polarizing film. Some people I've heard say that this movie has aged rather poorly, while others still herald it as a piece of childhood memories and still love it to this day.

Now I don't really know which way this film is gonna swing for me personally. Even though I have technically seen it once before, my thoughts on the movie back then are rather hazy. But thanks to this series, I finally get a new chance to go into it and see if it either holds up or it really has aged poorly. And the only way I'm gonna find that out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Pagemaster".

3 minutes later

Wait, so Macaulay Culkin's Dad in this movie is building a treehouse for him, even though it's just been stated by his mother that he's afraid of heights. If he's afraid of heights, why the hell would you build him a treehouse then? He's obviously not gonna go up in it, so why even bother with it? I mean, I get he wants to be a good father to his son but it still doesn't really make sense to build something that will make him afraid of heights, you know what I mean?

7 minutes later

OK, I have a question, and it's admittedly a bit of a stupid one, but I want to ask it anyway. So, this librarian, who's obviously Christopher Lloyd, is guessing at what kind of book Richie wants, even though Richie just wanted to get out of the rain. And he was doing it in a rather strange and, somewhat, creepy way. Does he do that with *every* kid who comes into the library? I'm only asking because if he approached me in that manner when I was a kid, I would be a little bit weirded out and terrified by how close he's coming towards me. That's just me, personally speaking, but still, I have to wonder if he does that to every kid he meets who comes to the library? I'm really sorta curious here.

11 minutes later

You know, guys, what's really kinda surprising me a bit? It's the fact that Patrick Stewart voices the pirate book called Adventure, and yet, he doesn't sound *anything* like Patrick Stewart. Which honestly makes him stand out the most out of every character that has appeared in this movie up to this point. That's actually kinda interesting, really.

20 minutes later

Sorry, guys, if I'm not saying a whole lot right now. It's just that this movie hasn't really given me much to work with at the moment. I'm hoping that something interesting will happen sooner, so that way I'll have more to talk about. But right now, this movie has been kinda slowing down a little bit.

9 minutes later

You know, guys, out of all the things I was expecting from this movie, a music segment wasn't really one of them. It's not really a musical number, seeing as how this film hasn't had any real songs in here to begin with. But this is the first song I've heard in the movie so far, and it's sorta reminding me of that scene in "Ferngully" where Krysta and the other guy she was with were together. And also similar to "Ferngully", the song here is kinda lame and forgettable. At least, to me it is. Also, I just noticed some electric-looking fairies...interesting. At least the animation is pretty good, so I can at least say that much.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Pagemaster". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. Well...what exactly do I start with first here? I suppose I can start by answering this question. Earlier, I had mentioned that this movie was seen as being rather polarizing to a lot of people. And being that this is my first time in watching it since I was a kid, I wasn't totally sure if this movie was either going to hold up decently well, or if the movie really has aged poorly, as some have proclaimed. Well, now that I have seen it with a fresher mind, I can answer the question of has this movie aged well for me? And I can officially say that...it kinda does. Mind you, the film is still rather flawed, but unlike the time when I watched "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story" where I had no nostalgia for it to begin with, I do have a little more fondness for this movie since I do have a little recollection of actually watching it as a kid, even if I didn't remember on whether or not I liked it then. So yeah, I can say that I did enjoy this movie fine, despite it's flaws.

With that said, let's actually get into this one, shall we? I'm gonna start with writing. Writing in this movie is rather archaic at best. Basically, the film's structure is that our main child character, Richard Tyler, or Richie if you prefer, ends up getting transported into a world after going into a library to get away from the rainstorm. And there, he ends up meeting a wizard who tells him that he needs to overcome three trials, which is basically Richard overcoming his own fears and him getting to the exit. What's really funny to me is that, even though this movie does work in genres like horror, adventure, and fantasy, it really plays itself out like a standard fantasy story. The only new thing that's included is how books are being used as a gimmick. Other than that, the story is really nothing new here. It plays itself safe, since especially this is a family film and all. So, I'm willing to give the setup here a bit of a pass.

However, I do need to talk about the biggest problem with the movie, which is the pacing. Pacing in this movie is rather uneven. It starts off quick when we actually get to the animated world of the movie, and we're introduced to the world of horror. Which looks great by the way, however, I'll get to all that when I cover animation. But it's when we get to the world of adventure in which the movie's pacing starts to become a problem. And the main problem with the adventure segment is that almost nothing of interest happens there. The only bit of interesting stuff is during the beginning of it where our heroes encounter Moby Dick, but outside of that, the whole segment involving Long John Silver is boring as shit. It almost feels like it takes forever to get through. And mind you, the movie's only a little over an hour long, but the adventure segment made the film feel longer than it should. Which I didn't think was possible for a movie that's a little over an hour long, but this film found a way to do just that.

That being said, I will say that the segment involving fantasy is much better. Not just because of the dragon fight, which is really cool mind you, but it's for something else that I'll get to later when I cover animation. So anyway, writing here as a whole, while operating on a formulaic matter, is still decent for what it is. Our characters here are kinda one-noted. You have Adventure acting as a pirate, Fantasy as a fairy, and Horror as, well, looking like an old horror book. Yeah, so Horror's personality is that he doesn't like the genre that's essentially his name. Which kinda makes sense, if you view it from his perspective since a lot of it involves scares, death, and all things related to horror. Granted, it makes you wonder why someone would name a character Horror, when they don't like the genre that they're a part of, especially when you consider that both Adventure and Fantasy live up to their names and embrace their genre. But Horror doesn't. Which, again, kinda makes sense from his perspective, but still, it would be something that could come into mind if you try to think about it.

Aside from that, guys, the writing here, like I said, is decent. And the characters are mostly likable, too. So at the very least, it sorta balances itself out a little bit. Now, what about the acting? Well, in terms of the live action segments, most of it is pretty good. Macaulay Culkin does OK with the script he's given, being that he was still a child actor at this time. The two actors who stand out the most, though, are Christopher Lloyd and Patrick Stewart. Christopher Lloyd, when he's the librarian, hams it up, as he's known to do sometimes. And it's OK, though it's not one of his stronger showings. The other one who stands out is Patrick Stewart. I've brought it up before, but Patrick Stewart in this movie doesn't sound like Patrick Stewart at all. He mostly talks with a gruff pirate accent, and if his name wasn't clearly advertised for this movie, you wouldn't be able to tell that it is him voicing a pirate book. Now normally, when it comes to Patrick Stewart, you would mostly expect his normal sounding voice, as I've seen him do with his performances in animated shows such as "American Dad" or his guest appearances on "Family Guy", but here, he puts on an almost unrecognizable accent, which makes him stand out as the best actor in the entire movie.

Unsurprisingly, though, the worst actor in this movie, by far, would have to go to Whoopi Goldberg as Fantasy. She easily phones in the weakest showing, because she's basically acting like herself, all sassy and whatnot. Which is a stark contrast with Patrick Stewart, who puts in an effort to not sound like himself at all. Whoopi puts in no effort to sound different than what she already sounds like. But then again, Whoopi hasn't put in any real effort, aside from the time that she voiced one of the hyenas in "The Lion King". Now aside from her, there is also the legendary Frank Welker, who voices Horror in this movie, and he does an amazing job also. But then again, it *is* Frank Welker and he has been in the voice acting business for decades, so I probably shouldn't be expecting anything less from him whenever I see his name in anything.

Animation is here really good. For a movie that came out in 1994, this is some really good-looking hand drawn animation. The art-style, in particular, is amazing. Especially in areas such as horror and fantasy. With horror, you get that spooky-looking vibe that really brings out the genre that it's suppose to be representing. And with fantasy, it's really more about the smaller details that catch my eye. And it mainly has to do with how trees look. The designs of the trees and how they look hand painted remind me of "Sleeping Beauty". I was always a fan of how that movie looked, and seeing those those similar-looking trees in this movie kinda made me happy. But yeah, the looks of horror and fantasy look great. And even though I didn't care for the adventure segment, I still think it looks really good for the setting. Color palettes here are really good, though there are certain moments where the characters look a little...lighter-colored, I would say. And I think it's mainly when they stand together after the horror segment is when I first noticed it. Though that's just more of a nitpick on my part.

There is one other thing that I need to bring up involving the animation, which is the CG. Now there is very little CG in this movie to begin with. And that mainly comes from the water coloring segment at the beginning where all of the paintings on the ceiling in the library start to melt. It looks really cool when they melt, but it's when they start to drop on the floor is when you get to notice the obvious-looking CG. For me, it was when Richie starts to run away from it that I noticed how dated the CG looked. Now for 1994 standards, it probably looked really cool. But if you're viewing it by today's standards, it looks really dated. However, the whole segment is still really cool-looking, as long as you're able to look past the dated CG.

Sound-mixing here is fine. The music, at least in terms of it's score, is perfectly fine. The songs, though, are really forgettable and kinda shit. Mind you now, there's really only two songs that I was able to pick up on. And that's the scenes involving the beginning of the fantasy segment and the ending credits. Both songs are really kinda lame and there's no way in hell that you're gonna remember the songs by the time the movie's done. Unless, of course, you're really into these kinds of songs to begin with, but if not, then the songs here are not gonna stick at you at all.

Now with all that said, when it comes right down to it, can I recommend "The Pagemaster"? For kids, yes. I would totally recommend it to children. If you, yourself, are associated with children in some way, be it your own or you have a niece or nephew, then I would say let them check it out, and they're guaranteed to be entertained. If you, yourself, grew up with this movie, then obviously, there's no need for me to recommend it to you further, because you have already seen it and probably own it on VHS, DVD, or Blu-ray. But for newcomers? Well, if you can look past the middle section involving the adventure segment, then I would say it's possible that you'll find some enjoyment out of it. Though whether you enjoy the whole thing or not is completely subjective on your point of view. As for myself, while it does have some obvious problems, I can actually say that I enjoyed it enough to where I can hold onto it for my DVD collection. So yeah, I think that answers the question on whether it has held up for me or not, which it does decently enough. Now...I do still have "Ferngully" on DVD, I think I'm gonna go and watch that next because it has been a long, long time since I last watched it, so I'm gonna go see if that one has held up since my last viewing of it.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Stacy: Attack Of The Schoolgirl Zombies

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Japanese horror comedy from 2001. That movie is "Stacy: Attack Of The Schoolgirl Zombies".

Now before I go any further, I should probably explain something about the film's title for just a moment. See, you guys wouldn't notice this, seeing as how I do these reviews on a text format as opposed to something like a YouTube video. But the version of the movie I have on DVD, only calls it "Stacy". And apparently, it's also on the official release of the movie that was released in the U.S.. Now I have no idea as to why they didn't include it's full title on the DVD. I mean, it's not like it's hard to pronounce or the title's too long or anything. But just for the sake of it, I'm gonna go by it's original title here, seeing as how almost every website I've looked up also include's the movie's full title as well.

So anyway, let's move on from that piece of oddity and actually get into the movie itself here. And the only thing I can really tell you guys, in case you didn't pick up on it already, is that it's a horror comedy that also features zombies. And those can be kind of fun at times. I mean, I enjoy movies like "Dead & Breakfast" and "Dead Snow", both of which were also zombie comedies. And also, they both apparently have the word 'dead' in their titles. Which I honestly didn't notice until I started naming them as examples. So, that's certainly interesting.

But yeah, those are two examples of zombie comedies that I do enjoy, And something else that is also kinda, sorta interesting to note is that all 3 movies, including this one, all take place in a different region. "Dead & Breakfast" takes place in the U.S., "Dead Snow" took place in the mountains of Norway, and this movie is set in Japan. And I think this also may be the first zombie comedy I've seen that takes place in the Far East. At least, as far as I know of anyways.

So, I'm gonna see if a zombie comedy from Japan will actually be any decent. And the only way I'm gonna find out is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Stacy: Attack Of The Schoolgirl Zombies".

5 minutes later

Wait wait wait, wait a fucking second here. So, this doctor says that these zombies, or "Stacies" as they're calling them, only die by repeat kills if you slice them up into 165 pieces. Even though earlier, we saw a police squad shoot at a zombified high school girl, and presumably taking her down. Now ignoring that bit of logic for a moment, why exactly do you need to slice them into 165 pieces? What kind of logic did this doctor come up with when he was studying this bizarre case in which high school girls are turning into zombies? I'm not quite sure yet, guys, but considering this doctor's already shady from the get go, I have a feeling he's hiding more than what he already knows. Just call it a hunch if you will.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, I find it really weird how they have the one actor who looks plainly like an American, talking about the "Bruce Campbell Right Hand 2". And what's really strange about all this is that I can faintly hear the guy talking in English, even though I'm watching the official version of this movie on DVD which *only* contains the Japanese audio with English subtitles. I don't know why I find that weird, guys, but it's kinda throwing me off slightly.

6 minutes later

So, this illegal repeat killing group is named after Drew Barrymore because she's their idol...OK. Don't see how that's suppose to be funny, unless the name Drew is purposefully shoved into the title of their name, thus naming it after Drew Barrymore. Either way, it still isn't really all that funny, but I guess it kinda sorta makes sense, if you actually want to think on this group's level of logic.

18 minutes later

OK...I've never seen someone pulling a head from someone's neck like that, which also meant pulling out their spine as well. Jeez, that's honestly kinda sickening to watch. I will say, though, the special effects in this movie are really good for low budget standards. Still...that was really nasty to see.

19 minutes later

So, guys, I really didn't want to ask this, seeing as how we're almost an hour into the movie, and there's only about a little over 20 minutes left to go here, but I gotta ask it now. When does this thing start to get funny? I mean, it's a horror comedy for god's sake, and I haven't laughed once since this movie started. Like I said, there's only a little over 20 minutes left of the movie to go here, so I'm hoping maybe that I'll get a laugh out of this before the movie is done. And if not, then we might have a serious problem here.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Stacy: Attack Of The Schoolgirl Zombies". Thank fucking god, it's over. I'm gonna shut this movie off now...Jesus Christ, that was almost torturous to get through. Sorry, guys, but it's been a while since I last watched a movie that almost fried my brain. Yeah, this movie is just...well, shit, really. I still don't even know what to say about it, because that almost left me dumbfounded in the worst way possible.

My god...OK, well, let's just try to get through this review here first and see what I can actually dissect here. Well, I may as well just start off with how I usually do with a lot of these reviews. Let's start with the writing. The story here makes no sense whatsoever. And I need to make a little confession to you guys, I actually did read a little bit of the film's synopsis on the back of the DVD case and it didn't make very much sense to me. But I figured that maybe what I read there was gonna make more sense once I started watching this film...and it didn't. Nothing about it made any sense. And if that wasn't any indication enough, the last 20 minutes of the movie will make even less sense to you. I was trying to make sense of what the hell was going on, but as it just kept going with it's own in-cohesive narrative, my brain began to clock out, and it just ends up becoming boring by the time the movie's finished. Which, for a horror comedy, is a bad thing to end up doing.

Speaking of which, let's talk about the film's attempt at humor. I could see that this film was trying to be something of a homage to B movie zombie flicks, especially stuff like George A. Romero's films. In fact, the police squad I mentioned way early on in the film that was shooting up one of the high school zombie girls are actually known as the Romeros. Which is sort of a neat reference, but the problem here is that none of the humor is really all that funny. The only thing that got me to close to actually smiling a little bit is when they bring up Bruce Campbell's Right Hand 2. Which, OK, it's a cute little reference to "Evil Dead", but it's not really enough. References don't really make your comedies funny. Which is a problem that most people have with Friedberg and Seltzer's movies, since their films mostly just relied on references to pop culture and shit. However, if there's any real praise I can give here is that, unlike and Friedberg and Seltzer, they don't tell you what they're referencing. You have to figure out for yourself that the Bruce Campbell reference is from "Evil Dead". So, it's at least something.

I will also say that, while the story here doesn't make any sense, I will say that at least it's not your typical zombie apocalypse movie. You know, the ones where a group of survivors must band together in a post apocalyptic world where zombies rule and the human population is near extinction. It's nothing like that, though they do make mention of the latter in which high school girls between the ages of 15 and 17 end up dying and are resurrected as zombies, or "Stacies" as what they're really called here. And it somehow ended up where the birthrates in Japan have gone down drastically because girls around that age are always ended up killed by their loved ones. And there's also something about butterfly powder that's connected to these Stacies, though it's very vague and doesn't really make much sense. But then again, like I said, the story here doesn't really make much sense to begin with once you actually try to think about it yourself.

Characters...what fucking characters? There is nobody in this movie that has even a shred of depth, personality, or likability. If I had to pick the worst character here, it would probably have to go to Eiko. And that's mainly because Eiko is easily the most annoying character in this entire movie. Every time she laughs or rings that fucking wind chime she always carries around with her, I wanted her to die because she is that annoying. And a bit of a spoiler here, by the end of the movie, she ends up dying and ends up becoming a Stacy, which causes Shibukawa, the only male character who develops something of a relationship with her, to kill her and kill her again because of the whole "repeat killing" thing. Yeah, that shit also made no sense either, but that's another thing I could go on a half hour rant about if I cared enough to make sense of it.

So, to summarize this up to you guys, the writing in this movie is mostly shit. What was suppose to be a horror comedy ends up becoming nonsensical and stupid by the time it reaches the last 20 minutes of the movie. And even before that, there's nothing about it that will guarantee to make you laugh. The acting here is all right, though. I can sense that a lot of these actors were trying to ham up their lines in a goofy sort of way, and it kinda sorta works, And it seems like the actors here were at least trying to have fun with their roles. So despite my criticisms I have about the writing, the acting here is at least somewhat competent.

Special effects here are actually really good. This film was obviously made on a low budget, but the filmmakers actually went out of their way to make the effects stand out, and they did so tremendously. All of the blood and gore effects here are really good, especially the bit I mentioned earlier when the doctor was pulling one of the zombie girl's head and the spine just comes out right with it. That bit was awesome. The makeup effects are also really good, too. Seriously, if there is any reason you want to check this movie out, watch it for the amazing special effects. They are seriously that good. The prop involving Bruce Campbell's Right Hand 2 is also cool-looking as well. Even though I still haven't seen any of the "Evil Dead" movies, I am aware of the chainsaw that Ash uses, so I would love to have a prop version of that myself and this movie kinda sorta makes me want to get one.

But anyway, special effects are really good for this movie. Camerawork here is pretty good. It sorta gives me the impression that it was shot on video rather than using a professional film camera, although I say that mostly for the beginning where it looks like older footage compared to the camera technology we have today. Though then again, this movie did come out in 2001, so perhaps it makes sense why it looks the way it does here. Lighting here is lit fine. The sound-mixing is also mixed fine. And the music here is also pretty decent, too. Though it's not exactly great either, so make of it what you will. The music here is just fine for what it is.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Stacy: Attack Of The Schoolgirl Zombies"? Not really, no. The only way I could maybe recommend it is if you shut your brain off entirely and just view it as a mindless popcorn flick. That, or perhaps if you're somebody who's a fan of seeing blood and guts on screen, then sure, I would probably say go watch it that way. But if you're somebody who wanted to see a good horror comedy, then no. This movie is not that. The humor isn't really funny, and the last 20 minutes will more than likely fry your brain if you attempt to think about it. So yeah, this movie sucks hard. And you want to know something else? Originally beforehand, I discovered this movie at my local mini mall and they were selling a copy of this thing for $30. Yes, seriously, that is how much they were charging it. Now I didn't buy it then, because it was just too much for even me. But then later, I eventually discovered this movie again at one of my local video stores and they were selling it for $8, which is the copy that I bought. And I'm thankful that I bought it then, because had I been stupid enough to get this thing for $30, I probably would've been even angrier than what I was already for this review. But for $8, it's not that much of a rip off. Still though, I don't think it was entirely worth it in the end.

So now, I'm gonna go and watch a better horror comedy, and I think I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Dead Snow" again. It's not a great movie, but it's still funnier than this movie tried to be. And on that note, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Shape Of Things To Come

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, guys, I'm gonna be covering a Canadian sci-fi film from 1979. That movie is "The Shape Of Things To Come".

Now I'm gonna tell you, guys, I know very little about this movie. For starters, I know that this film is based off a novel that was written by H.G. Wells. And from what I've heard, this movie has barely any connection with the novel that this thing is based off of. Which I know will turn off those who have an absolute obsession with movies not getting things that are based off the source material correctly, however, as I've stated before, I don't really do side by comparisons with the movie and book. In fact, I've never even read the book this thing is based off of before, so I can safely say that whatever this movie will do will either stand or fall on it's own standards.

Now the only other thing I know about this movie is that it was trying to cash in on the success of "Star Wars", since this movie came out a couple of years after the first "Star Wars" movie. Beyond that, I know almost nothing about it. I haven't seen any trailers or clips from the movie, so I'm going into this one completely blind here.

I am hoping for it to be decent, or perhaps even pretty good. I don't know if it will be though. The only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all, is if I shut up and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Shape Of Things To Come".

1 minute later

OK, guys, I know you can't hear this for obvious reasons, but is it just me, or is the music sounding rather...disjointed? I thought it was just an issue only when it was on the DVD menu screen, but no, it's still the same, screwy music that's playing in the opening credits. I'm hoping that this won't become an issue later on with the rest of the movie, but I still find it really odd that the music's audio just sounds really off to me.

12 minutes later

Oh my god, are those spacesuits that they're wearing made of tinfoil?! I swear to god, guys, these two guys that are wearing these spacesuits look like they were made out of tin foil paper! Holy shit, I knew this movie was made on a low budget, but how cheap does your movie have to be where you can't even get proper-looking spacesuits for your actors to wear?! Good god...

8 minutes later

Wow...even the helmet that this guy is wearing looks cheap as shit. It almost looks like he's pulling down a grey colored trash bag over his head as he's putting it on. I swear, guys, the costuming in this movie is ridiculously cheap, and I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to handle anymore of this cheapness.

17 minutes later

All right, I think now I can safely say this. The acting from Nikki and Merric is fucking terrible. So far, most of the acting has been halfway decent, but these two actors in particular really fucking suck.

13 minutes later

So...it turns out that the people disguised as bushes are actually kids. And one of them may be infected with radiation. All right, that raises a lot of questions. Mainly, how long have these kids been on Earth, and how long have they been infected with radiation? I would assume that, you know, radiation would slowly kill a person. And if they *are* infected with radiation, then how come Kim and Jason haven't been infected by being near them in the first place? I have so many questions about this, guys, and I'm hoping that at least one of them will be explained sooner rather than later.

12 minutes later

I am gonna say this, guys, the only character in this movie, so far, who I actually kinda sorta like is Sparks the robot. Every other character has been really kinda bland, yet Sparks is the only one that's kinda saving this movie a little bit for me. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

5 minutes later

O...K...now the movie's decided to go on a trippy mood here as our characters are...well...not getting high, obviously, but I guess when they broke through the dimension, they ended up going through a weird, trippy scene. I really don't know how to describe what I'm seeing to you guys, it's just...really fucking odd.

13 minutes later

So, if radiation wasn't going to kill the good doctor, this loud noise that Omus made will. That's...kinda stupid. And underwhelming as well. But I guess it's at least effective.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Shape Of Things To Come". I'll go ahead and shut the movie off now...OK. Well...what to even say about this thing? I guess I should probably start by saying that this movie was a little bit disappointing. It doesn't truly suck, but I wouldn't say it's really good either. It falls on the range of being a rather bad movie. Now yes, I've seen and enjoyed a good chunk of bad movies that I have covered for this series. But this one...well, this one, unfortunately, falls short of being on the level of so bad it's good.

Let's just dive right into this thing by first discussing the writing. Now I will say that the story here had a lot of promise. I really think that this movie could've been better written, had it gone through another draft or two. Because what we have here for a story feels undeveloped at certain points. I'll get more into that in a second here, but I should also mention that this movie, not only tries to capitalize on the success of "Star Wars", but it's also trying to do that with "Star Trek" as well. And watching this movie, you can totally tell that this movie felt like a lost episode of the original "Star Trek" series. And there's nothing wrong with that obviously, but the problem here is that, like I said, parts of the story here feels undeveloped. And what we have here is a rather shallow, and kinda boring sci-film when all is said and done.

I wanna talk about the biggest plothole of the entire movie. So the entire setup of the movie is that there was this terrible war with robots that happened on Earth that caused so much damage that radiation began to take into effect. So most of the people of Earth was moved over to the Moon, where there's apparently a new city that they live under known as New Washington. And the only way for the humans to survive is with a drug that counters the effects of radiation called RADIC-Q-2. And it's here where I have to talk about the plothole involving radiation because this really bothered me throughout most of the entire movie.

So earlier, I mentioned these kids that were stranded on Earth, that also happened to be disguising themselves as bushes. So after Jason and Kim first discover that they're actually kids, Jason notices that one of the kids has been infected with radiation. Not only that, but these kids were one of the many survivors of the robot wars. So, I'm going to assume that maybe these kids were infected since they were babies. Which is whole-nother level of messed up when you actually stop and think about it for a moment. But anyway, the only help these kids have gotten, prior to Kim and Jason landing on Earth, was this old guy by the name of Charlie Montgomery, who was the doctor's friend. A little bit of a spoiler here, Charlie's dead, because he was infected with the same radiation that these kids also have. Which, again, begs the question on why our heroes weren't infected by them when they were close to these kids? You would assume that radiation is contagious and that it spreads like a virus to other people close by, so why weren't our heroes ever infected by this same radiation is something that is never explained.

Another thing that bothered me about the kids being infected with radiation is when Kim tells the children that they will be back with a full supply of RADIC-Q-2, because it's obvious that they couldn't take the children with them on their journey, due to them being infected and all. That part kinda makes sense, but here's the thing: We *never* see these kids again after our heroes leave Earth. So you're left wondering if the kids ever got treated or if they were just left to die on their own. Which is something that, I believe, should not be ignored! Why the fuck would you introduce these children if we're never gonna see them again?! That makes almost no sense whatsoever.

Our characters here are mostly dull and shallow, save for 2 of them. One of them is Sparks the robot. And that's mainly because Sparks has something resembling a personality, unlike the rest of our heroes who, again, are pretty dull and shallow. The only other character who was kinda sorta memorable is Omus, our main of the villain of the movie. He's more or less a shallow dictator, but what makes him stand out is the actor playing him, which is Jack Palance. I'll get a little more into him later once I cover acting, but I will say that both Sparks and Omus are the only two characters I can say that kind of saves this movie from being completely hollow.

One other thing that I will comment on that is sort of a problem is the pacing. This movie does feel a little bit slow at times. The best example I can think of is that weird trippy scene I mentioned earlier when our heroes broke through some sort of dimension portal, and there's this 5 minute scene where it looks like they're getting high off this entire scene. I have no idea why it takes *this* long for them to go through all that, but it really could've been trimmed down to a couple of minutes or just completely cut from the movie entirely. There was no reason for that scene to be 5 minutes long, and all it really served was to pad the film out unnecessarily.

So yeah, guys, the writing here isn't very good. Like I said before, it could've gone through at least a couple of more drafts with it's script, and there's a possibility that it could've been better. But as it is, the story here feels kinda empty and rushed, and ultimately is a rather bland sci-fi movie. With that said, let's get into the acting here. Now for the most part, the acting here is halfway decent. Even though most of our main cast didn't get a whole lot to work with, they certainly tried with what they were given. Especially Jack Palance. He was easily the best actor in this entire movie. The parts where he has to shout leans on him overacting, but it's still charming enough to where you could possibly garner a smile out of it. The same can't be said, however, for the other two actors in this movie playing Niki and Merrick. Both of these actors sound really stilted and don't know how to convey emotions properly. Especially for Merrick's actor, since he sounds the worse of the two. He literally has no range to his voice and, slight spoiler here, he dies a little bit in the beginning of the third act of the movie. And I was kinda happy he was gone then because I didn't have to deal with anymore of his shitty acting. Otherwise, guys, the acting here is halfway decent at best.

Let's get into the costuming next. Oh boy, where do I even begin with this one...? Well, for starters, I mentioned the astronauts suits that looked to be made of tin foil. And I would not surprised if that really was the case, because no matter how you look at it, they look like dogshit. Now I also mentioned the kids from earlier and how they were suppose to be infected with radiation. Well, while we only get to see one example of this from one of the kids, some of them also have white hair which is really just obvious-looking wigs. Why the others also didn't get white hair is either because the radiation couldn't affect their hair changing color, or there wasn't enough for the kids to wear is something that I don't know of.

But the most polarizing costuming has to go to Omus's robots, who are essentially just dudes in obvious robot suits. Which is funny, because the only robot in the movie that looks like an actual robot is Sparks, since he's the only one that doesn't look like some guy was dressing up as a robot. Now I say Omus's robots are polarizing, because it's either something that you're gonna get use to or it's gonna throw you off completely. Myself, personally speaking, it was something that I got eventually use to, though that might not be the case for anyone else who might have an interest in watching this movie.

But yeah, costuming here is mostly terrible. Special effects are also pretty standard, at least in terms of it being a low budget movie. The visual effects, the blood, all of that looks OK at best. And also, you don't really get to see much blood in this movie anyway, since it only happens to two people that are killed in the movie. But still, the special effects are nothing to really write home about. Camerawork here is fine. The lighting here is also OK for low budget standards. Sound-mixing is also fine. The music, apart from the screwed up opening song, is also kinda decent. It's not great by any means, but at least it kinda serves it's purpose here.

So yeah, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Shape Of Things To Come"? Um...probably not. What holds me back from recommending it is that the writing just feels rather unfinished. I believe if this thing had gotten a much tighter script, it could've been slightly better. Granted, it probably wouldn't have saved the terrible costuming or its special effects, but at least the story could've been fleshed out a bit more. But as is, it's just not very good at all. Add on to the fact that the movie's also kinda boring, too. So yeah, unfortunately, I'm not able to recommend this thing to you guys, unless if you have some morbid curiosity for it. But otherwise, you can probably find some other low budget sci-fi movie to watch, or I guess any other sci-fi movie for that matter. And speaking of, I think I'm kinda in the mood to watch "Starship Troopers" again. So, I'm gonna go and watch that next once I get done with this review.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.