Reaction & Review | Deathday (The Campus)

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 2018. That movie is "Deathday". Or, if we're gonna go by the movie's original title, it's actually called "The Campus".

And right off the bat, I have to talk about the film's confusing title. See, when I initially did research on this movie by typing in the movie's title, the first thing that came out on Google's search results was for a completely different movie called "Happy Death Day", which was released a year prior to this film. And I was confused by this, because I had no idea if I had typed in the wrong title, or if this movie is just so obscure that even Google's search engine doesn't want to acknowledge this movie's existence.

So, upon doing further research about this movie's title, I was actually able to find it under it's real title, "The Campus". So, why does this movie have two different titles, you might wonder? Honestly...I don't know. Maybe the original title didn't sound interesting enough for it to be a seller. And as for the "Deathday" title, I wonder if they named it that way, as it if it was suppose to be some sort of mockbuster to "Happy Death Day". Now I've never seen "Happy Death Day", obviously, so while I can't comment on the quality of that movie, I have heard good things about that version of the movie. This thing, though...I haven't. In fact, thinking about it, just looking at the title and the premise itself, you would almost think that it could've been made by the Asylum. Well, surprisingly, no. This movie was put out by some studio I've never heard of called "Gas Money Pictures". I'm hoping that name is not gonna be a reflection of the quality of this movie, but I'm gonna withhold judgement on that until I actually start watching the movie for myself.

Now I briefly mentioned the premise when discussing the similarities between this movie and "Happy Death Day". And this was mostly the reason why I wanted to watch this movie. The premise is basically about our main character dying over and over again, and yet, somehow, she keeps getting resurrected to life every time she dies. And so she has to figure out how to break this curse in order to set herself free.

I'm gonna tell you, guys, that premise sounds really awesome. And I'm really hoping that this movie is gonna somehow deliver on that amazing premise. However, as I mentioned a moment ago, I have heard almost nothing positive about this movie. But still, I am gonna try to see if it will at least be decent. And the only way I'm gonna figure out as to whether or not this movie will be watchable at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Deathday".....or "The Campus". God, that's still gonna take some time to getting use to.

11 minutes later

OK, guys, this movie's story hasn't really picked up yet, but something else is bothering me at the moment. Well, two things are bothering me, actually. One, Morgan's sister has quite possibly the fakest baby bump I have ever seen in any movie that features a pregnant lady. And two, the lighting in this movie is fucking obnoxious. Everything I'm seeing so far looks so fucking brightish yellow that it's almost distracting me from what's going on in this movie! I'm hoping, maybe, that it will tone this lighting down a bit as the movie progresses, but somehow, I doubt it actually will.

16 minutes later

Wait, so our main character, Morgan, just died. And she was brought back to life through some tablet that her father discovered at the beginning of the movie. And one of the symbols that we were shown had just vanished, thus is the reason why she came back to life. So...does that mean then that if she dies a few more times, the devil comes back to life...maybe...? I am fucking lost here, guys, this story is literally making NO sense whatsoever. I kinda want it to make sense sooner rather than later, but I'm not sure if it's even going to at this point.

7 minutes later

By the way, guys, do you know what else is bothering me? This fucking music! I know you guys can't hear it for obvious reasons, but most of it, so far, has been this lame-ass piano music! I get that it's trying to build tension, which there isn't any so far, but it's beginning to sound tiresome real quick. And the sooner that this music ends, the better off I'll fucking be, because this movie's score has been dogshit, so far.

3 minutes later

O...K, well, I never thought I'd see an eyeball just dangling out of someone's face like that. I will say, at the very least, that the special effects here look decent for low budget standards. Not great, mind you, but still, at least they look decent.

18 minutes later

Remember when I said earlier, guys, that the special effects in this thing looked decent? Well, I'm gonna have to rescind that statement a bit, because I've been seeing these shots of this skeletal ghost creature wrapped in bandages, and the effects for it look like complete shit. Guys, I cannot wait for this stupid thing to fucking end, and I still got another half an hour of this crap to sit through! This is gonna be painful, guys...

The Review

Wow, that ending was...complete and utter horseshit. Well, guys, that was "Deathday", or "The Campus", or whatever. No matter what title you prefer, this movie sucks either way, so I'm gonna go ahead and shut this garbage off...OK. Jesus Christ, where the hell do I even begin...?! I'm speechless, guys, I really am. Because, how the hell do you take an awesome concept like this, and you make it into...whatever the hell I just watched for almost 85 minutes?! Dear God, this was just...ugh...

OK, you know what? I may as well just get into this review and try to vent as much as I can here. Let's start with the writing. So, like I just asked a moment ago, how do you take an awesome premise like this, where the main character gets killed off and brought back to life over and over again until she finds a way to break the curse and turn it into shit?! It by all rights should've been awesome, and it might've been done better in "Happy Death Day". Again, I don't know if that's the case or not, since I haven't seen it yet, but I'm probably gonna have to check it out at some point to see if it was done any better in that flick. But again, I'm not here to talk about that film, I'm gonna try to focus on this movie. So yeah, you had an awesome premise, and it turns into this fucking mess of a movie. And the worst part about that is that the movie is boring as shit! This movie clocks in at about 85 minutes, and it honestly feels like I was sitting there watching it for about 2 hours. I'm gonna tell you, guys, the pacing in this movie is shit from almost top to bottom. You would think that 85 minutes would be an easy watch to sit through, and yet this movie somehow makes it feel longer than it should've been, and by the point that I mentioned that I had another half an hour of film to go through, it was probably one of the longest, almost, 30 minutes I ever sat through watching a fucking movie! It really is that tiresome, and it will bore you to sleep as you sit there attempting to watch this horrendous thing.

Now, I would love to tell you that this story actually had some promise, and it honestly kinda started off promising. Because it started off with a prologue somewhere in Peru in 1991, where 3 guys were in the desert searching for some treasure or something. I don't know, maybe they were archaeologists or something, the movie's not entirely clear on that. But anyway, Morgan's father is one of these archaeologists, as he and someone else discovers some ancient ruins in a cave where there's an arrow present and the guy explains to Morgan's father, according to the writing on the ruins, that once the devil has all 5 pieces of something, which is later to be revealed as someone's soul, then they get their soul...I guess. Again, it's very vague, but the opening still had promise. And because Morgan's father was corrupt with greed, he decided to take it, thus unleashing the devil, who kills the one guy that was with him in the cave, while the other guy was sitting outside in the desert waiting for them. I'm gonna talk about him later when I get to acting. So after Morgan's father ends up making a deal with the devil, it cuts to the current year of 2018, where Morgan and her sister are paying tribute to their late father. Although, Morgan doesn't really have that much of relationship with her father anyways, which makes her sister come off as an angry bitch about it, and none of it has any real tension because there's honestly not very much depth between these two characters after that, since we never see Morgan's sister again after that scene with them ends.

In fact, let's actually try to get into the characters, shall we? And the best way I can summarize this is by saying that there are no characters here that are worth caring about. Hell, I could even go so far as to say that there were no characters at all to speak of in this film! I'm serious, guys, I'm very tempted to say that characters in this movie don't even exist! And if they did, then they're not very likable, because there's no depth to any of these characters whatsoever. Which brings me back more into our story, because most of the story here is basically Morgan getting killed and being brought back to life, thanks to this curse that was passed onto her by her father after he dies. And it's up to her to try and break the curse by getting this arrow and doing something with it that I won't try to spoil here. But going back to these *characters*, like I said, we mostly just follow Morgan through her trials, and she really goes through no real arc for her character, because it doesn't really change throughout the film. Most of the story is told through flashbacks, and even then, these flashbacks don't really offer much of a story. The most I could get out of it was that she was mostly neglected by her father in favor of her little sister, and there's this guy who says that he'll take the burden off Morgan's father, to which Morgan's father denies. Which I didn't understand what at the time, until it's all revealed towards the end by her father, who basically admitted in a recording that because of his deal with the devil, he had to sacrifice something that he cherished most, which was Morgan, thus the neglect, and admits that he always loved her. But you really don't feel anything out of it, because Morgan has no character to speak of, and thus she comes off as flat and fucking lifeless. Her father is no better either, mind you, but still, we're suppose to be following Morgan as she tries to get to the arrow that will help her break this curse, and you really don't care about her struggles because her character has absolutely nothing to go for!

Speaking of which, I want to bring up these trials. As I mentioned before already, in order for the devil to get Morgan's soul, she has to die at least 5 times in order for him to get it. And these methods of the events she goes through don't really make much sense. The first time she dies, she gets killed by these people wearing these really ugly-looking masks. The second time...honestly, I don't really fucking remember what exactly happened, other than the fact that her eye was dangling from her face, which again, looked really awesome, but I'll save that for when I get to special effects. The third time she gets revived is when everything is backwards for...some reason. And by backwards, I mean that everything looks inverted, from words, to how the place looks, is all done backwards. It's really stupid, and doesn't really make much sense. The fourth time she gets brought back, she's going through a stereotypical zombie outbreak, which is where the film REALLY started to drag, because this particular segment goes on for WAY too fucking long. And this movie is proof positive that I am SICK and TIRED of zombies. There was no need to include zombies in this movie, and it seems like the filmmakers *really* wanted to capitalize on the zombie fad that was already starting to die off by this point. But whatever, she dies by zombies, and by the fifth time she gets brought back to life, she has her one on one showdown with the devil coming to claim her soul. I won't spoil any further than that, but trust me, by the end of the movie, it makes even less sense what with it's horrendous ending and all.

Now I mentioned that these trials that she goes through each times she dies doesn't really make much sense. I say this, because the symbols that were on the ancient tablet before each one disappears doesn't really resemble anything related to how Morgan is suppose to die. Like, how exactly by the fourth time she gets resurrected was a symbol suppose to hint that she was going to go through some tired zombie apocalypse? Or by the third time, everything is suppose to be backwards? Or the first time is because some guys in ugly-looking masks are suppose to be killing our main lead? Like, how is ANY of this suppose to resemble the symbols that were on the tablet? I don't know. Maybe there's some deep connection there that I didn't pick up on, but none of it made any sense, and it's just more problems I can add onto this horrendous writing. So yeah, I guess it goes without saying that the writing in this movie is fucking horrible, what with it's *characters* and story that don't really add up to anything worth caring about.

On top of all that, we have the acting to get through. Now I didn't mention this beforehand, but one of the other reasons why I wanted to watch this movie was because of one particular actor's credit that caught my attention. You see, one of the actors that is in this movie goes by the name of Scott Menville. For those of you who don't know, he is mostly known for his voice work as Robin from "Teen Titans" and "Teen Titans Go!", along with my personal favorite role as Lloyd Irving from Tales of Symphonia, which happens to be one of my favorite games of all time. But anyway, he's actually in this movie, and I was curious to see what kind of role he was going to play here. Well...shockingly, he only has about 4 or 5 lines of dialogue in this movie, and it all sounds incredibly wooden. Which is kinda sad, considering the guy does some really good voice work. But when you ask him to be in a live action setting, apparently, he couldn't be asked to put in very much effort, and got an easy paycheck out of what little he was given to do in this movie. And it's not just him that sounds wooden, the entire cast in this movie also phoned it in, and thus nobody cared about putting in an effort to try and make this movie less of a chore for the viewer to sit through. So yeah, the acting here is terrible from just about everyone in this cast.

Special effects in this movie are kind of a mixed bag. I will say the makeup effects on our actress, whenever she's going through terrible pain look pretty decent. The best effect, of course, going to the dangling eyeball that's hanging from her face. That honestly looked great. Blood effects are OK, I guess. It's pretty cheap-looking blood, but at least it's better than using CG blood, which would've looked worse if the filmmakers even attempted that. Speaking of CG, I can easily say that the CG here looks terrible. I mentioned earlier about some CG skeletal ghost that has white bandages wrapped around it as if it were a mummy, and the CG on it looks like the cheap shit that you would see out of a horror movie from the 70's and 80's. At least there, those effects had some kind of charm of looking laughably bad. Here, it just looks like shit. And as for everything else involving CG, it also looks like shit, and I mean it looks like shit even for the standards of ultra low budget movies.

Camerawork here is decent for what it is. The lighting, however...oh fuck me dead, the lighting in this movie...! Guys, it's not often I ever mention lighting in a movie, but if you ever want to see it being used in such an obnoxious way, look no further than this movie. Because for about 85% to 90% of the film, there is this REALLY brightly tinted yellow that takes up a good portion of this movie. It doesn't matter whether it's filmed outside or inside, this kind of lighting rears it's ugly head and it is just distracting as all hell! And at times, it gets even *more* obnoxious, because in some scenes, whenever Morgan has to open a door to another room, the lighting will brighten itself so much to a point where I thought a bulb was gonna fucking burst at anytime! The only moments where lighting doesn't become an issue is when there is darkness involved. But even then, before all that, the film itself looks ugly as shit, because almost every scene seems to be tainted with this horrible yellow lighting, even in scenes that don't seem to be as brightly lit, and it's so distracting that you're probably not gonna end up caring about whatever scene is currently going on and instead focus on how unnecessarily bright everything seems. And even during the final act where Morgan has to face off against the devil, there's this brightly red lighting that comes in, which I guess was suppose to resemble hell or something evil, but again, it all comes off as just annoyingly distracting! I have no idea who the hell was in charge of this lighting, but they went WAY overboard with this kind of shit. It's one thing to be stylistic with how your movie should look, and then there's shit like this, where it does nothing but bother the viewer to an unnecessary extreme. And the lazy retards who were in charge of the lighting couldn't have been asked to tone a lot of this shit down! You're not aiming to look "artsy", you're making a fucking horror movie for fuck's sake!

So anyway, beyond the horrible lighting, the sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here is shit, though. Oh yes, guys, we have terrible music. How, you may ask? Well, I brought it up way early on, but the music here is mostly just piano music. And it's not even good piano music at that, because most of the tunes that they play here consists of the same 3 or 4 notes each time that *dramatic* tension plays. Which again, there is no tension to be had here in this movie. And to be honest with you, guys, this kind of music sounds like it may have came from a Casio keyboard. Not only that, but it's also the same kind of shitty music you would hear while playing a free computer game online where it has the same kind of tune that plays over and over again on a loop and it just does not stop! That's the kind of shit you will hear from this movie, and if that's your thing, you're probably gonna love this movie's shitty score. But anyone with actual tastes in music are gonna loathe this kind of shit, because none of it is limited to a fucking Casio keyboard.

So...with all this in mind, guys, am I able to recommend "Deathday"/"The Campus"? Fuck no! This shit is torturous to get through. It feels so god damn long to where it becomes boring as shit. Perhaps maybe if you wanted to watching something that resembles a sleeping pill, then by all means, go ahead and watch this and you're guaranteed to fall asleep because nothing of interest actually happens. But if you have some level of standard for your horror movies, then you should avoid this thing at all costs. This thing almost borders on being unwatchable, what with it's god-awful lighting, atrocious music, terrible acting, and it's horrible execution of an awesome premise that turned to shit. Now I'm probably still gonna still check out the supposed better version of this movie at some point. But as of right now, I really have to watch something else to get this movie's awful taste out of my mouth. I'm probably gonna watch a better horror movie. I think I'll just pop in the first "Wishmaster" movie or something, I don't know. At this point, ANYTHING is better than wasting time on this piece of shit, and the sooner that I trade this thing in, the better off I will never have to look at it ever again.

Holy shit, um...guys, I have not been this pissed about a movie in a long time. It's rare that it happens, but hey, movies like this can certainly bring out the worst in me. But hey, that's what you get sometimes whenever I watch a really bad movie. So anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a Western film from 1970. That movie is "The Ballad of Cable Hogue".

Now, when I originally bought this movie some time ago, I really didn't know very much about it. The only thing I knew about it was that it was a Western, and I haven't covered a traditional Western movie for this series in a long time. There were couple of movies I covered that had Western elements to it, but they weren't exactly a Western in of itself. So I bought this movie on a whim, and I wasn't totally sure whether or not I wanted to cover this movie for Reaction & Review or if it was something that I was gonna watch on my own time. But eventually, I did find an opening for it in the schedule, so I decided to finally put it on there and here we are.

So, as I stated, I didn't know anything about this movie outside of what genre it was. And so when it came to finally cover this movie, I did a little bit of research on it, and I found out something...rather interesting about it. You see, this movie had a REALLY troubled production. Now I'm not gonna go into detail on every little thing that happened, because I'd be here all day if I did that. So instead, I'm just gonna go over a few certain things about the movie itself. For starters, the film had stopped being produced for a time due to bad weather, which caused the filmmakers to be behind schedule and the film's budget, somehow, went from about $712,000 to $3,000,000 more added to that amount. I'm not entirely certain WHY exactly it jumped that high. Maybe it was because of the production being held back due to how long the bad weather was going on at the time, or maybe it was because of a payment issue in order to keep the actors and film crew together in order for the film to get made, I'm not totally sure. But regardless, the budget went up quite a bit since the film's inception.

Now I also read from an interview with some author that there was supposedly a rough cut of this movie that ran for about 2 and a half hours. However, Warner Bros., the company that released this movie, did not like what was in the rough cut of the film, so the director, Sam Peckinpah, pleaded with them to hold off on their judgement so that he could cut a half an hour of the film to around 2 hours. Now I have no idea if this rough cut of the movie actually exists somewhere online, or if that half hour cut of the film no longer exists. The only thing I have to work with is the original 2 hour cut of the film that has been released on DVD and Blu-ray. And on another note, I should mention that when this movie was finally released, Warner Bros. basically just let this thing out to die because they barely did any promotions for the movie, thus was one of the reasons why this movie bombed in theaters.

Now despite all that, I have heard good things about this movie. I haven't really bothered to read what exactly this thing is going for in terms of a plot, so I'm gonna go into this thing completely blind. And I am hoping that it will live up to being as good as what I had heard. I don't know if that will end up being the case or not, but I am gonna find out momentarily. And the only way I'm gonna find out as to whether or not this movie will be any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "The Ballad of Cable Houge".

1 minute later

So, guys, the film's just started, and I already saw someone shoot a lizard in half! That was...kinda nasty, and sorta fucked up. I will say, though, that kill was really cool. But still, that just seemed a little fucked up to shoot a lizard in half like that.

7 minutes later

Well, guys, I am gonna say this much, as the credits are rolling by, this opening song here is actually pretty good. Why? Because it's from Jerry Goldsmith. I know this, because the opening credits just told me so. Granted, so far, it's not as good as his other works, but still, it's sort of a decent song. So, at least we have that much going in.

10 minutes later

Well...lesson learned, guys. If you don't pay 10 cents to drink water from the hole that Cable originally found it from, then you will be eventually shot at. Granted, it was that guy's own fault for drinking it on Cable's "land", but still, probably should've paid him the 10 cents anyway.

6 minutes later

You know, out of all the things I was expecting from this movie, I wasn't expecting this many close-up shots of this blonde woman's breasts. I mean, granted, she IS kinda sexy-looking, but still, I think that point would've been taken the first time around without having to repeat it many times over. But maybe that's just me.

20 minutes later

OK...I just learned that Hildy's strong enough to kick part of her door off, barefoot and all. I gotta say, that was pretty impressive on her part.

13 minutes later

So our pastor here for the past couple of minutes has been trying to comfort this lady by groping her ass and her breasts as well. Again, out of all the things I was expecting from this movie, I wasn't expecting this much sexual humor in a Western of all things. That is just fucking mind blowing, guys! Damn.

12 minutes later

So I guess Cable wasn't kidding when he said that it was easy to wash dishes, as he earlier stated that he nailed the plates down to a wooden table whenever someone stopped by to eat, and now he's just pouring water all over the dirty plates with a bucket. I'm gonna tell you, guys, regardless of how easy that might look, I imagine those dishes are still gonna look dirty as FUCK every time he finishes washing them. It's creative, but still, you could've found a different method to wash them with.

8 minutes later

OK, that was a bit of bizarre editing there. Cable was just about to greet some people coming to his springs...and then all of sudden, it cut back to him and Hildy, as she's talking about something regarding revenge. I'm going to assume, maybe, there was suppose to be something there from the half hour that was originally edited from the rough cut of the movie, but still, that shit came from out of nowhere! Just thought I'd let you guys know.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Ballad of Cable Hogue". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off here...OK. So...where exactly do I begin here? I'm gonna be honest, guys, this film is gonna be a little bit tough for me to review. Because on one hand, I honestly do like this movie. But on the other hand, I don't know if it's something that I would watch on a second viewing. Which may sound disappointing, but I'll get into all that eventually.

I suppose I should just get into this review and try to explain it further. Let's start with the writing. Specifically, I want to start with the film's tone. You see, going into this movie, I had no idea what direction this movie was going to go in. Because like I said earlier, I didn't know anything about the plot to this thing when I was doing research on it. I'll mention more about the plot later, because it does tie into an issue I had with the film's story. What I wasn't expecting was that this movie is, at times, genuinely funny. And part of that is because they aim for a type of humor that I haven't seen really often in a Western movie, which would be sexual humor. There is a LOT of sexual, and somewhat crude humor. Whether it's shots of our lead actress's breasts, or when there's a scene involving our priest, Joshua, who was trying to hit on this lady in some of the most oddest ways possible by groping her breasts and ass while he's trying to console her. Some of that is genuinely funny, and, again, it's not something I see very often done in a Western movie. Probably, for it's time anyway, it was something that was never attempted before. And to see it being executed in this movie is definitely a change of pace. Now I understand that not everyone will like the sexual humor here, but I do think it is one of the better highlights of this movie.

But then the movie slowly starts to change shifts with it's tone. Because right around the hour and twenty minute mark of the film, the movie slowly starts to become more of a drama. Now granted, there were some bits of drama being played out from before that point, but it didn't completely overshadow the humor that this movie was trying to go for. And from that point on, the movie kinda delves into more of a slower point, where it focuses on Cable just trying to run his water business while also dealing with a couple of old foes from early on in the movie. And by that point, this is where I felt the movie started to lose some of it's steam, because it felt like it didn't exactly know what to do from there. Now I can see what this movie was trying to aim for, in which we follow our main character, Cable Hogue, as he's living in a time where the Old West was starting to die off, what with the invention of vehicles and all. And he kinda just sticks with it for the most part as he's living his life there. That part I do appreciate, but it feels like the movie, at around the point that I just mentioned, just kinda felt like slowing itself down because of it's somewhat directionless plot. Now I am not trying to say that, as a whole, the film is badly directed, far from it. It's mostly done really, really well. But I can *kinda* see why exactly Warner Bros. didn't take a particular liking to this movie, because it does feel pretty damn slow at times. And even with the cuts that this movie was forced to make, it still felt like it had a bit of a pacing issue that didn't really need to exist.

Now I kinda mentioned a little bit about the story involving Cable Hogue. So, what exactly is the plot to this movie? Well...that's gonna be kinda hard to explain. And the reason why I say that is because this movie really doesn't have much of any plot to speak of. Like I mentioned a moment ago, it's played out like a slice of life film, where Cable is first being left out in the desert after a couple of stragglers steal his water, transportation, basically, they just take everything that he has with him. And so we get a montage through the opening credits where Cable is just trying to get through the middle of nowhere as he tries to look for water. What I find a little bit odd is the fact that it took 5 whole DAYS for him just to find some speck of water. I would've imagined you'd probably die after, maybe, 3 days or so with no water, but that's just me nitpicking. And once he finds a watering hole, he then later gets to town to buy some land with what little money he has so that he can open up a business to where he can sell water to anyone that comes by his place. It's there where he later meets a couple of other characters such as the priest, who helps him build his business. And our female lead, Hildy, who starts off living as a prostitute who then later forms a relationship with Cable. However, instead of staying with him for too long, she eventually goes off to San Francisco, as that has been part of her dream to live a wealthy life there. But then she later comes back towards the end, and tries to get Cable to go with her. I'm not gonna spoil the ending too much here, but I will say that it kinda feels a little bit cheap. Not all of the ending is bad, mind you, it's just that there is a certain part of it that I felt was kinda cheap and rushed, and it didn't exactly feel convincing to me.

But beyond all that, the writing is still really solid. Our characters here are all likable and have tons of depth, and our story here, what little there is, is still pretty good, even if it does lose some steam towards the third act of the film. So with all said, let's get into the acting. The acting here is great. Nobody here turns in a showing that I would consider bad or weak in the slightest. Even when there's children involved, their roles are VERY minimum, so they don't really take up much screen time to where they could possibly ruin the film. Our three main cast members are some of the best here. We have Jason Robards as Cable Hogue, Stella Stevens playing Hildy, and David Warner, who plays the priest. The latter being a little bit hammy at times, but it doesn't remotely come even close to ruining it. It actually is kinda charming at times, to where it looked like David Warner was having a blast with his role. Everyone else in the cast did really well, too. So without sounding like a dead horse already, the acting here is great, and everybody turned in the best showings that they could give.

Our costuming here is done really well. There really isn't anything I can mention here much in terms of special effects. About the only thing I can really mention is that there are very, very little blood effects. And those are fine, I guess. But then again, this movie's not really a violent Western, like how a lot of them like to be portrayed as. Which I guess is another thing I can briefly mention about the writing is the fact that this movie is not really the standard gun'em down type of Western. And that's fine, because I've seen a few Westerns where they don't really try to amp up the violence too much, like in other Western comedies such as "McClintock!" or "The Villain". Where the violence in those movies are mostly played up for laughs. This movie follows mostly in the same suit, though at least up until the movie starts to become more of a drama and less of a comedy. But again, I'm not gonna try to let that deteriorate from my enjoyment out of this movie.

Camerawork here is mostly really good, though there is that one bit in bizarre editing that I briefly mentioned early on, where Cable goes to meet with some people that came to his business, and then it *suddenly* cut to a different moment, where Hildy was mentioning to Cable about how getting revenge against the two guys that left him out to dry is pointless. And I'm wondering where that conversation even came from, because I don't recall Cable ever mentioning to her about what happened to him at the very beginning of the movie. My theory is, again, that it was something that was probably edited out of the rough cut of the movie, but I have no idea if that's even the case or not. So anyway, the lighting here is great, and that's because this movie was mostly shot outdoors during the daytime where there's plenty of sunlight. Though part of me is curious to imagine how bad the weather was during the time in which they had to stop filming the movie, because that honestly just sounds really fascinating to me. But anyway, I'm getting off track here. Sound-mix here is mixed fine. The music here is great, and that's because it was done by the late Jerry Goldsmith. And I've already mentioned in previous reviews where his music in the movies that I've covered before always sounded great. That being said, though, I do think that this is honestly one of his weaker outings. The songs that are used here are good, but none of them are really all that memorable. Most of it sounds like country music, which makes sense given that it's a Western and all, but none of it is really all that great. I want to make mention again that none of the music here is *bad* per se, I just don't think it's something that I'm gonna remember this film by. Which is a shame, really, because I really love Goldsmith's music. But still, what is here is still really good, so I'm just gonna leave that up to personal preference here.

So ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Ballad of Cable Hogue"? I can, yes, provided, of course, if you're into Westerns. I should note, again, that this movie is not really one of those stereotypical Westerns that goes all guns blazing, so if you're looking for that kind of movie in your Western, then you're probably gonna want to skip this. However, if you are looking for something that's sorta different in the Western genre, then you might find something here that'll be worth your time. If you can find this movie on a streaming service like Netflix, or MAX, or if you can find it cheap on DVD or Blu-ray, then by all means, go right on ahead and check it out. As for myself, well, like I stated earlier, I liked this movie quite a bit. However...I don't think it's gonna be worth watching a second time for me. It mostly has to do with the tonal shift of the movie in which I slowly started to lose interest because the movie just kinda felt lost for a while in not knowing where to go next. If this thing were a flat out comedy, I probably would've loved it. And it's not to say that I don't enjoy drama in Westerns. I mean, shit, I love the Dollars trilogy that all star Clint Eastwood, and most of those are dramas by default. However, I just don't like the tonal shift that the movie took within it's third act. That, plus the ending also felt kinda cheap. At least, to me, it did. So, on that note, I'm probably not gonna be giving this movie a second viewing. But who knows? Maybe you'll like the whole ending better than I did. So really, it's just something that you have to go into for what it's worth. I'm glad that I was able to get a chance to watch this movie once. Unfortunately, it's just not good enough to hold onto for my DVD collection. Which is disappointing to say, because I really wanted to like this movie more than I should've. But these happen sometimes, and I guess that's just the way it is for this kind of movie. Now...seeing as how I brought up a couple of Western comedies earlier, I think I'm gonna go and re-watch my copy of "The Villain". I haven't seen that, probably, since I covered it for this series a couple of years ago, so I'm gonna go and do that next after I get done putting this review together.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Hellbound

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be checking out a thriller from 1994. That movie is "Hellbound".

So, for those of you who may not happen to remember, about a couple of years ago, back during the early days of me doing this series, I reviewed a movie called "Lone Wolf McQuade". It was the only movie that I watched which starred Chuck Norris. A man who is mostly known for outdated memes, shitty acting, and losing a fight to Bruce Lee. And the movie itself was a stupid plotless action movie that had no kind of substance whatsoever, and it was, overall, a waste of fucking time.

To be honest with you, guys, I really had no interest in covering anymore Chuck Norris movies, because the man cannot act, and the few films that I looked up which starred him didn't really sound all that interesting to me. But then I happened to discover this movie at one of my local video stores one day, as I was browsing through some movies that I wanted to get at the time, and this movie caught my interest, mostly because of it's premise. Somehow, two cops, one of them played by Chuck Norris, ends up discovering something evil when a murder investigation turns into a battle against the forces of evil, in which some satanic messenger comes back to life to, I guess, do something evil. Perhaps maybe he wants to resurrect Satan or something, I don't know. It doesn't really make a whole lot of sense, so I'm hoping that the movie will explain it further once I start watching this thing. But I will say that the premise sounded promising enough for me to give Mr. Norris here a second chance.

I'm really hoping for this film to be interesting. You'll note that I said that I want it to be "interesting". I am almost ruling this thing out on being any good, what with the movie's star and all. But hey, you know what? Maybe this movie will actually shock me somehow, and wind up being really good. I strongly doubt it, but who knows? It might still end up surprising me in someway. So really, the only way I'm gonna find out whether or not this movie will be any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Hellbound".

10 minutes later

OK, I have a really stupid question here, and I know it's a trivial one, but it's beginning to bother me a little bit. Why is there so much smoke in this scene?! I ask this, because most of the scene has been covered in smoke, and it's making the picture quality look like shit. I understand it's still early in this film, and there's always a chance it could look better after this prologue finishes, but, so far, we're kinda off to a bit of a bad start.

15 minutes later

By the way, guys, not only is the picture quality an issue with smoke, but it's also an issue with anything involving darkness, and it somehow looks even WORSE than what was shown in the prologue! Jesus Christ...this movie is slowly becoming unwatchable, guys.

13 minutes later

Well, guys, I just learned something new today. Apparently, drivers in Israel don't understand sarcasm, so they think the term "shitty driver", at least according to Detective Jackson, means that they are a "hotshot" driver. I don't know how that was suppose to be funny, unless the joke was that people in Israel don't get what sarcasm is. And if that WAS suppose to be the joke, then it still wound up being shit.

14 minutes later

So our hero, Detective Jackson, just stole some food from the front desk of Jerusalem University as soon as he and Sgt. Shatter got there. I'm gonna say this now, guys, the more that I see Detective Jackson on screen, the more that I want to see him die by the time the movie's over. And if I don't get that, then I'm not gonna be a very happy person. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

19 minutes later

OK, I have another really stupid question that I know I'm not gonna get an answer to, but I'm gonna ask it anyway. So our villain, Prosatanos, has been searching for the pieces of a broken scepter that was from the prologue that's suppose to be able to open the gates of Hell. How exactly does he know where to find all of the pieces of this scepter? My only guess is that since he was broken free from his tomb many decades ago, he's had plenty of time to find all of the pieces at all of the exact known places. Most of them we don't ever get to see, mind you, since we only get to see one fucking example of him gaining a piece of the scepter. And if that is the case, then why has it taken him this fucking long to find the pieces of the scepter if he's had all this free time to find them? I understand that I'm probably putting WAY too much thought into this, but it's questions like these that makes a stupid movie like this even dumber than what it already is.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Hellbound". I'm gonna shut this crap off here...all right. Good lord, this was fucking boring. Well, I guess that kinda gives away what I thought about this movie as a whole. I mean, granted, I knew it wasn't gonna be any good, but I still wanted it to be kinda interesting on a cheesy, yet sorta awesome level. Well...no, this movie is nothing like that whatsoever.

So, rather than me summarizing what I already thought about this movie, let's actually talk about it, shall we? I'm gonna start with writing. The writing here, honestly, could've been really interesting, if you had a better script. I say this, because the premise does sound sorta interesting, in which some emissary of Satan or something had originally been sealed away by some knights of some fantasy world from 1186 A.D, and then later he gets released from his tomb by a couple of grave robbers. I'm gonna mention that scene involving the grave robbers later on. But getting back to the story, in the prologue before the grave robbers, after the king and his men seal Prosatanos within his tomb, the king takes the scepter and lays it on top of the tomb in which he destroys it with his sword into 9 pieces, thinking that he's destroyed the source of Prosatano's power. The pieces of the scepter are later scattered across the world, in which Prosatanos ends up seeking and killing 9 different holy priests that are holding each sealed piece of the scepter so that he can open the gates of Hell by doing some sort of ritual and, I guess, Satan is reborn. I don't know, it's not entirely made clear on that part. But in any case, Sgt. Shatter and Detective Jackson, two Chicago cops, end up going to Israel when some rabbi was killed by Prosatanos, in which they later learn that they are doing battle against the forces of evil in order to stop Prosotanos from bringing forth hellish evil to Earth.

Now, you would think that what I just described would sound kinda interesting. And like I said earlier, it probably would've been interesting, had there been some effort put into this writing. I originally thought, upon hearing about the 9 pieces of the broken scepter, that this was going to be some sort of fetch quest in which Shatter and Jackson go to look for the pieces of the scepter before Prosatanos can get his hands on them. But instead, as I mentioned a moment ago, they go to Israel instead, and this is where the movie comes to a complete stop. We have tons of padding in this movie that has no reason to exist! Most of it is spent on our two main characters, as they are either investigating shit, or they are stopping this kid from scamming American tourists out of their money by stealing their wallets, which happens all of twice in this movie. And as for the latter subplot, apparently, it only exists just so we can get the story moving, because this kid somehow knows where exactly Shatter and Jackson need to go because fuck you, that is why, and none of it interesting in the slightest. And for a movie that's suppose to be advertising itself as a thriller, it's more boring than thrilling. Which is a horrible thing, because thrillers are not suppose to bore you. Not only that, but this movie also tries to pass itself off as comedy. And I can tell you right now, this movies FAILS as a comedy. The jokes are shit, and the dialogue is even worse. Most of it comes from Detective Jackson, which is insufferable, but I'm gonna get more into that when I talk about the characters.

Right now, though, I want to mention something else about this film's writing. You guys may have happened to notice it earlier, but when I complained about why exactly it was taking so long for Prosatanos to find the pieces of the scepter since he was released from his tomb, I was mostly just trying to stretch out an issue that may have just been me putting way too much thought into, considering the fact that it's just a dumb action film starring Chuck Norris. Well...then we get a scene where Shatter and Jackson break into the Jerusalem P.D. building, and they end up trying to find files regarding some murders involving certain priests from a couple of years ago. Shatter calls Leslie, another character who I'll bring up later, who's also an assistant to Professor Lockley AKA Prosatanos in disguise, and he asks her to get information on the expeditions Lockley's been on for the past couple of years. And all of them involve the priests that were killed on the exact dates that Lockley's been on his certain expeditions. The first one dated back to 1991. Now here's where I have to intervene, because the grave robbers I mentioned earlier that broke Prosatano's tomb, that took place in 1951, meaning that it's been a whole 40 years since he was released! So my big question is what the FUCK has this guy been doing for the past 40 years?! Why did he wait until the past couple of years in order to go on his hunting scheme for the scepter pieces? Was he just fucking around his tomb for all that time until he realized "Oh yeah, I'm suppose to be looking for pieces of my scepter so I can release my dark master and Hell can finally rule Earth. What the hell am I still doing here?!" Dear Lord, this movie is terrible with it's fucking writing.

So now, let's get into the characters. Well, first of all, what fucking characters? There is nobody here that has any shred of depth or likability to their characters. And I know for an action movie that you don't necessarily need well-developed characters, but you still want a reason to care about them in some way. Well, this movie does nothing to make you care about them. Chuck Norris plays Sgt. Shatter and he has all the charisma of expired milk. Detective Jackson is the worst, because, as I mentioned earlier, most of the "comedy" comes from him. And none it is funny whatsoever. And whenever he's not cracking jokes, he's mostly either complaining about being in Israel, hates that it's too hot over there and wants some AC, or on about 5 different occasions he'll mention to Shatter that he wants something to eat because he's hungry. Oh, and he mentions that he's a Chicago Bulls fan. Get it? Because he's from Chicago. Hahahaha...ha...anyway, beyond that, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING about his character that makes him redeemable or worth caring about in the slightest. Oh, and I also should mention that he sadly does not meet his end in this movie, as I was hoping he would. Spoiler, in case you really wanted to know the fate of Detective Jackson. The only other character I can mention is Leslie Hawkins, who not only plays Lockley's assistant and is also personality free, but also has a forced relationship at the end with Shatter. The only interesting bit about her is not the character itself, but the actress playing her, Sheree J. Wilson. She's also one of the co-stars of "Walker, Texas Ranger", a show that made Chuck Norris into the star that he was at the time. So there you go, there's your useless trivia of the day, in case you really cared.

So beyond all that, the writing here is terrible. Which, for an action film, I normally would give some of that pass. However, there really isn't a whole lot of action here. So it might be difficult for me to recommend this to fans of plotless action films, because there really isn't much action to be had here. So with that being said, let's get into the acting. Now I stated earlier, a couple of times, that Chuck Norris was known to be a shitty actor. At least, to me, he is. Now some people might wonder why that is, because they may have never seen anything starring this man. Well, I mentioned it before when I reviewed "Lone Wolf McQuade", but I can mention it again here. The big reason why he's not a very good actor is because the man lacks any sort of expression on his face. Most of the time, he will give off the same stoic look he does for most of the time he's on camera. Once in a while, he might crack a smile, but he doesn't have any sort of expression beyond that. Which is also coupled with the fact that his acting is just PAINFULLY wooden. Which, for some people who have seen his movies, see that as some sort of charm as to what makes Chuck Norris stand out with his acting. But for myself, personally, I really don't see much of that charm here. So to me, it's just another phoned in, been there done that performance from Mr. Norris. The rest of the acting ranges on being decent though. The best actor, by far, would have to go to Christopher Neame, who plays the movie's villain, Prosatanos. His performance in this thing is honestly almost endearing to listen to. It's kinda hammy, but not to a point where he has to overact. Most of his voice is probably filtered to sound demonic, but he still gives off enough charm to where he actually seems to be having fun with his performance. So, if you want to watch this movie for whatever baffling reason, watch it for Neame's performance, because he's easily the best actor in the entire movie. Everyone else, minus the film's star, is decent. It's not great, but it's at least serviceable for what they could do with a shallow script.

There honestly is not a whole lot here when it comes to special effects. There is very, very little gore here. The blood effects are OK for what they are. But again, there really isn't much here for blood. Which is kinda disappointing, considering that this movie is about Chuck Norris fighting the forces of Hell, you would think the filmmakers would try to take advantage of that concept. But sadly, they don't. Costuming here is pretty cheap, especially towards the end where we get to see our villain where some sort of monster mask. Don't ask, it kinda makes sense, but not really. But still, it looks really cheap. So beyond all that, the special effects here are pretty disappointing to say the least.

Camerawork here is OK for what it is, but I do want to comment on the picture quality for just a second, because this is something that bothered the shit out of me for a while. For some reason, in some scenes that are filmed in darkness, the picture quality looks very grainy to a point where I can't see what's going on with some characters in some scenes. Now when it's filmed anytime during the day, the quality is perfectly fine. But it's only at night where the quality drop on the picture looks really grainy. And that also includes the opening prologue, which involves the knights and Prosatanos. For some reason, there is so much smoke in that scene to where it started to become difficult to watch what with the film's decline in picture quality. Now I don't know if that's either my bad eyesight, or if it's the quality of this DVD that was put out by Warner Bros. Though technically speaking, Cannon Films made this movie, and it was their last film, too, before they went under. So it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if the poor quality was on their end when they put this movie out originally on VHS. But I am also gonna put some blame on Warner Bros. since they could've easily taken some more time to clean up some of the grainy mess that is present on this DVD. At least, to me, it's a noticeable grainy mess. But anyway, the lighting here is decent, save for any scenes involving darkness. Sound-mix is mixed fine. The score here is OK for the most part. It's not anything amazing by any stretch, but at least it kinda works for the film.

Ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Hellbound"? No. There is honestly no way I can recommend this movie. As I stated earlier, it's difficult for me to recommend this to fans of plotless action movies, what with the lack of action that is missing here. Maybe if you're, like, one of those die-hard fans of Chuck Norris and you don't care how shitty his acting is, then you might be able to get into this with almost no problems. But for everyone else...no. As a thriller, it sucks. As a comedy, it's not funny in the slightest. And the story itself, while interesting on the surface, is ultimately a letdown. I knew, going into this movie that it wasn't going to be any good, but it still had some potential to be very interesting. But instead, I get another bland, boring film starring Chuck Norris. And maybe this is just a sign that I should stay away from his other films, if this is the kind of performances I'm gonna get from him. So yeah, guys, I cannot recommend "Hellbound" for the reasons that I already gave out. Now since this movie let me down as a thriller, I'm gonna go and watch a good thriller. And the first thing that comes to my mind is "Perfect Blue". That movie is amazing, and I haven't seen that in about a year or so. So, I'm gonna go and do that next after I get done putting this review together.

Anyways, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Read Or Die

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering an OVA from 2001. That OVA is "Read Or Die".

Now, I don't really know a whole lot about this OVA. From what little information that I was able to gather regarding the plot to this thing, apparently, someone is trying to find some lost manuscript by Beethoven. And according to what I read on the back of this DVD, our heroes are trying to find it first while doing battle against people who are based off real-life people from history such as Hiraga Gennai, Otto Lilienthal, and Jean-Henri Fabre, in order to save the world. Now admittedly, I don't know why someone would want to find a lost manuscript, and how it would eventually lead into the destruction of the world if it's fallen into the wrong hands. But nonetheless, I am very intrigued by this premise, and I want to see if this OVA can do anything good with it.

The only other thing that I can mention is that this OVA is technically a sequel to it's manga series, in which it takes place a few years after what happened in the manga. Now I don't know if that's gonna impact this OVA at all, however, if it does turn out to be any good, I may have to check out the manga at some point to see what I'm missing. But still, I want to see if this thing will be worth watching on it's own merits. So the only way I'm gonna really find out whether or not this OVA is any good, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Read Or Die".

2 minutes later

Well, guys, I can say that we are off to an explosive start where some guy just destroyed a good portion of the White House before asking the President if the place he destroyed was the library. Not sure if he was intentionally planning to destroy the library or not, so I'm a little confused on that part. But I will say, you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, that this opening song here is pretty good. I'm actually really liking it. So, hoping that's a good sign of things to come.

11 minutes later

So let me see if I understand this. A year ago, DNA samples of certain famous people from history were stolen, Gennai being one of them. And according to Mr. Joker, those people have been re-cloned and have been given super-human abilities. That sounds really fucking cool! And it kinda makes sense, given the insect guy we saw earlier that Yomiko defeated was also based off a famous entomologist. Granted, I'm not sure how it took a year for someone to discover that their DNA was missing, but I'm not going to worry about that for right now.

6 minutes later

So, Miss Deep has the power to pass through solid objects. OK...that certainly was a rather interesting way to display her powers to Yomiko there. It seemed a little bit odd that her hair also flew off after she disappeared like that. But still, it was certainly really cool.

3 minutes later

Well, guys, it is official: Yomiko Readman is a fucking bookworm to a tee! So, the clone of Otto Lilienthal stole her book before he flew to New York while being pursued by the Air Force. And while Drake and Miss Deep are concerned about what's currently going on, the first thing Yomiko is worried about is her fucking book. It's nice to see that Yomiko certainly has her priorities straight, you know what I mean?

8 minutes later

Well, guys, that was the first episode. Um...well, it's definitely really interesting so far. I'm kinda hoping that it will continue as this OVA goes along.

20 minutes later

So...that monk guy had a metal heart, and, apparently, his blood was made out of oil...interesting. So, I guess he was an android of some sorts...I think. Well, whatever the case may be, that entire fight sequence leading up to that point was fucking awesome. So, that's certainly a plus.

11 minutes later

All right, well, that's the end of episode 2. And I gotta say, that was certainly an interesting twist to end an episode on. I'm curious now to see how things are going end on the last episode. I'm hoping it's gonna be as good, because, so far, I'm really enjoying this OVA, guys.

11 minutes later

So the reason why they were after Beethoven's manuscript was so that they could recreate a symphony that Beethoven had done in which everyone would commit suicide as some sort of judgement against mankind. That's...kinda frightening in hindsight. It's a really cool plan, but still, the implications for it are still rather fucked up.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Read Or Die". Let me go ahead and shut this thing off here...OK. Um...I'm trying to figure out where to start with this thing? Well, I guess I could start with something I just noticed. I have often complained in the past about how some movies go past their official runtime, and that's something that normally kinda irritates the shit out of me. Because if a movie is advertising themselves to be like, say, 90 minutes, then it should end at around 90 minutes, and not something more than that. This OVA kinda does that here, because each episode is advertised to be around 30 minutes long. The first two episodes are indeed just that. But the third episode kinda pushes that by going at about 5-6 minutes longer than usual. And normally, I would have an issue with that. Well, this time, I'm not going to complain about it. Why? Because this OVA was just good enough to where I wanted to see how it was going to end. And for the most part, I really liked how it ended. Granted, the ending is a little bit ambiguous, but I'm not going to spoil that here for this review.

So with all that said, let's finally get into the review proper, shall we? I'm gonna start with writing. Now earlier, I mentioned that this OVA was suppose to serve as a sequel to what happened in it's manga a few years prior. Which leads into a question that I know some people might ask: Do you have to read the manga in order to understand what's going on in this OVA? And the answer to that question is no. It's not really necessary for you to read the manga in order for you to get into this OVA. You can go into this thing with almost no problems and still be able to understand most of everything that goes on in this OVA. And I've mentioned this before many times in the past where if you're adapting something, whether's it's from a comic book, a video game, or whatever into a movie, you still have to make it stand out on it's own without having to lean too heavily into the source material from where it's based on. I've run into several movies in the past that tried to be as close to the source material as they can, and they kinda faltered a bit because they didn't try to stand out as it's own thing. One example I can think of is "You're Under Arrest: The Movie". A film that I covered last year where I could see that it had an original story, but the movie really didn't feel like it tried to separate itself from it's anime counterpart, because it felt like you had to have seen the anime in order to understand the characters and everything else. I would also include Rob Zombie's "The Munsters" as another example. Where that movie tried to stay true to what it was from way back when, but also didn't really have much of any story to fall back on. Mind you, I quite enjoyed Rob Zombie's "The Munsters", but then again, I also had experience with the source material. But I could see others having an issue with it because they may have never had any experience with the original source material.

Now this thing, like I said, is easy to stand out on it's own, because it doesn't really feel like a sequel to it's manga counterpart. It's telling an original story without having to try and make any callbacks or references to what happened in the manga. Granted, I have never read it, so I could be easily mistaken there. But I will say that after watching this, I'm more than interested in checking out the books, because this OVA was really solid. The plot, as I mentioned earlier, is about this group of villains known as the I-Jin, who are out to steal a rare manuscript created by Beethoven. And in case I didn't spoil it already, they're going to use it to create a suicide symphony to the world in which everybody around the world commits suicide as per some judgement on humanity. How do they do this? Well, they created a rocket that's going to launch into space. And inside the rocket, they have the body of Beethoven orchestrating the symphony to the world through some kind of machinery that's hooked up to him. Now I don't know if they actually used Beethoven's real body, or if they just cloned him like they did with almost every other villain who has the DNA of some famous person from history. It's probably the latter option, considering Beethoven's been dead for many years, so I imagine his body must've been long since decomposed by then. But anyway, I'm getting off track here. Anyway, this leads into our main characters, who are part of this British Library special operations division, where they are tasked to locate the book and retrieve it from the I-Jin before it's used for the wrong reasons.

And since we're on this subject, let's get right into the characters. Most of them are developed really well. Our main character, Yomiko Readman AKA "Agent Paper", is OBSESSED with books. She is, like I mentioned earlier, a 100% bookworm. And she will do anything just to make sure that she gets her rare book back just so that she can read it. Admittedly, this part got a little bit annoying for me, the way that she really only cares about her books. But thankfully, that's only for the first episode where we mostly get that kind of interaction from her. The other two episodes afterwards is a little bit more reserved for her character development with Nancy AKA "Miss Deep". She's definitely one of the more interesting characters. She forms some kind of friendship with Yomiko, and is also the one who is able to pass through solid objects at will. I'll briefly mention the powers again a little later. Drake Anderson is honestly the only character who really doesn't have a whole lot of depth. He's a U.S. soldier who mentions a couple of times that he's only on this mission just so that he can get some money to buy a gift for his daughter. Whether it's for her birthday or simply because he's a thoughtful father isn't entirely explained. Our villains, like I mentioned earlier, are based off real historical people. A couple of examples are both in the first episode, where we get to see this guy on a giant grasshopper who was also able to control an army of bees. I said he was based off a well-known entomologist, who turned out to be Jean-Henri Fabre. Or later on during that episode, we get to see the clone version of Otto Lilienthal, who was an actual German aviator. Or at the beginning of the OVA, where we saw Gennai Hiraga destroy the White House. Their depth isn't really that important, because they're basically just super-powered versions of famous historical people.

Now I could also mention a few other minor quibbles such as how exactly did Yomiko get the abilities to fight with paper, or how Nancy gained the ability to pass through solid objects at will? Those kind of things aren't really explained. But honestly, it's something that you just have to roll with. Because if you go into it thinking about those kinds of details for too long, then it might end up ruining your enjoyment of this OVA. For me, personally, I really didn't care about that kind of detail, because this OVA was really damn good. The story here moves at a fast pace, which, given that it's an OVA, it would make sense to have faster pacing. And overall, the writing here is really solid, and I enjoyed just about every minute of it. And as for the acting, well, I did watch it with the English dub, so I have to judge it by the dub's standards. And for the most part, the dub is pretty good. It does have a couple of moments where a couple of the actors were hamming up their lines, such as whoever they got to voice Otto in the first episode. The guy sounded like he was REALLY trying to hard to hold onto his German accent, and it sounded almost hilarious to listen to. However, I totally understand that some people might not care for that kind of thing, especially if you're not into English dubs for whatever reason. And thankfully, you're in luck, because the DVD that I own does come with an option to where you can watch it either the English dub or with the Japanese audio with English subtitles. So, there's room for both sides here. But as for the English dub itself, like I said, it's a pretty solid dub, and just about every actor here gave it their all. Granted, there were a couple of accents that sounded rather fake, but it's not something you're really going to notice too much, unless if you're a real stickler for dubs. So yeah, without sounding too much like a broken record, the dub here is solid.

Animation here is mostly really good. The characters all have a unique design, and they're also digitally painted as well. And for 2001 standards, the color pallets still look really good, even to this day. The animation is mostly fluid, though there are a couple of moments where it felt like, to me anyway, some animation frames may have been skipped. It mostly happens whenever a character might be moving, and in some rare cases, they would be moving faster than usual. It's very minor to notice these sorts of details, but it was something that sorta caught my attention. But again, it's something that you would have to really notice like I did. Otherwise, the 2D animation here is really good. The CG, however, is kinda shit. And it's mostly prevalent in the first and 3rd episodes. The first episode involves the bees that I mentioned earlier. Most of those were rendered in CG, and they kinda look terrible. Granted, it's not as bad as in the third episode. Where in that one, the CG is mostly used for clockwork gears. And all of the scenes involving the CG gears look terrible. And I mean they look terrible by the standards of 2001. So on the CG side of the things, it's aged pretty poorly. The 2D side of the animation, however, still looks great, minus a couple of hiccups in animation frames that only sad bastards like myself would notice.

Sound-mix here is mixed perfectly fine. The music here is fantastic. I mentioned it earlier, but the opening theme that plays at the beginning of all three 3 episodes is great. It sounds like a mixture of the James Bond theme, along with a little bit of the "Cowboy Bebop" opening. It sounds great, and I do think it sets the tone for what kind of OVA you're going to be watching. Which is pretty much a sci-fi action movie that is going to keep you entertained for all 3 episodes.

And on that note, when all is said and done, can I recommend "Read Or Die"? Oh definitely, yes, guys. This OVA is fucking great! It has a really solid story with characters that are mostly well developed. The animation is great, aside from a few of moments of kinda shit-looking CG. I am surprised myself about how good this OVA really was. Which is saying something, because most OVA's I've seen for this series have mostly been hit or miss. Mostly misses, but this one was definitely a hit. And if you can find this OVA on DVD or Blu-ray, go ahead and check it out for yourself. It definitely is worth your time. And I'm thankful that I was able to find this thing at a convention that I bought it from several years ago. So this thing is definitely going to have a spot on my DVD shelf, next to a bunch of other anime movies that I already own. And as for myself, I think I'm gonna go and re-watch one of my older 007 movies. I think I'll watch..."The World Is Not Enough". Haven't seen that one in ages. So, I'm gonna go and do that next after I get done putting this review together.

And with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.