Reaction & Review | Kill Bill: Volume 2

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a movie from 2004. That movie is "Kill Bill: Volume 2".

Now, for those of you that are new here, earlier this month, I reviewed the first "Kill Bill" movie. And for the most part, I really enjoyed it. The movie was very entertaining, the soundtrack was, mostly, really good, and it was a very well done revenge movie. My only real problems with it were some questionable pacing issues that brought the story down a bit, and some minor stuff here and there, such as one questionable child actress and a music choice that I really hated. But again, I still really enjoyed the first "Kill Bill" movie regardless.

So now, we have Volume 2, which came out one year later after the first one. And I'm going to assume, just basing off the title, that our main character is continuing on her mission to kill Bill. Well...after going through some more assassins, first. Because she had to go through one of those in the first movie, and that's probably gonna stay true in this one. Whether she kills Bill by the time that this movie is done, however, is something that I'll find out when I start watching the movie.

I'm hoping for this thing to be just as good, if not better than the first movie. I'm hoping that the pacing issues are gonna get fixed. However, considering that this movie is slightly longer than the first one makes me sorta doubt that. But I am hoping for less shots of our main character's feet, because that was kind of an issue I had in the first movie, where the camera loved to focus on Uma Thurman's feet. But regardless, I'm still hoping for the pacing to be an improvement here. So really, the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any better than the first one, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Kill Bill: Volume 2".

6 minutes later

Wait...that tune...that's from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"! It's when the character called Angel Eyes first appeared in that movie. That is awesome to hear it in this movie, guys! I really wasn't expecting that at all, but then again, the first movie had somewhat of a Western vibe to it. So, it's good to hear something like that again in this movie.

15 minutes later

OK, guys, I know this is a very trivial thing to bring up, but I want to bring it up anyway. So this guy here just used the word 'fuck', and it wasn't bleeped out. Yet earlier, Bill used the words 'fucking bitch', which WAS bleeped out. Why...? This movie is a rated R film, so I'm not totally sure why they needed to bleep out Bill's cursing. I don't care if it was intentional or not, it was still really stupid to begin with. And again, I totally understand that it's all trivial and stupid, but it just kinda bugs me a little bit, you know?

8 minutes later

So, that guy shot our main character with rock salt from a fucking shotgun! I had no idea that you could do that with rock salt. I'm kinda curious as to how practical that really is? Perhaps if I ever get bored one day, and I want to go out into the woods, I might actually try shooting with rock salt from my own rifle. You learn something new every day, don't you?

10 minutes later

You know, guys, even though that scene was a bit long, I gotta say...it was rather uncomfortable. Mind you, the scene was very powerful, but it was still rather uncomfortable to watch. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

10 minutes later

So not only does this old master despise Americans and caucasians, but he also despises the Japanese as well. Or as he refers to them as 'Japs'. So basically, our main character is learning the secrets of kung-fu from a racist. I never would've known that coming from this old master, but now I do. Interesting. At least it's something different.

20 minutes later

You know, guys, I am gonna talk about this later on in the review, but the dialogue in this movie is a massive improvement over the first one. Mind you, now, the dialogue in the first "Kill Bill" movie wasn't horrible or anything, it's just when compared to this movie, the dialogue and conversations feel much more natural here. Again, I'll talk a little bit more about that later when I review this movie, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm really liking the dialogue in this movie.

1 minute later

O...K. Well, I certainly wasn't expecting a fucking snake to just appear out of that million dollars. I gotta say, those bites looked fucking brutal as shit! Really cool, but was still fucking brutal as hell.

11 minutes later

OK, that was one of the most satisfying ways to end a fucking fight. Not through death, just by poking her other eye out. That was awesome in many ways that I wouldn't have been able to describe it, guys.

19 minutes later

Sorry, guys, if I'm not saying a whole lot right now, I'm actually really getting invested into this story. It really is that good.

6 minutes later

Wait, wait, wait, let me see if I understand this. According to Bill, Clark Kent is Superman's alter ego, just so he could blend in with the human race, and that he was considered to be weak and a coward. Umm...last I checked, the name 'Clark Kent' was given to by his Earth parents. I don't recall him ever choosing that name by his own admission. And as for Clark being 'weak' and a 'coward', Clark is a reporter for the Daily Bugle, and he's pretty good at it, too. The only way he'd be 'weak' and a 'coward' is if he's being written poorly in the comics. I'm sorry, guys, but Bill's viewpoint on how he sees Superman is, honestly, really stupid.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Kill Bill: Volume 2". Let's go ahead and shut the movie off...OK. Holy shit, what to even start with? Well, let's get the obvious question out of the way first. Is this movie better than the first "Kill Bill" movie? Absolutely, yes! This movie is awesome. I really went into this thing, thinking that it was gonna slightly disappoint, or at least be kinda average above the first movie. But no, this movie stands head and shoulders above the first one in terms of how great it really was. Now, mind you, the first movie is not even bad. Far from it. It's just, when compared to this movie, it's far better than what I was expecting. This is how you do a good sequel, and I'm glad that the movie was able to accomplish that much.

But that's just me summarizing how I felt about the movie. Let's actually talk about the movie itself. And I want to start with something that I brought up earlier. Before I started this Reaction & Review, I stated that one of my problems I had with "Kill Bill: Volume 1" was that the pacing was kinda off in certain areas. It felt like it needed to pad itself out just to fill in time. One example I can think of right off the bat was Ishii's backstory. I talked about her backstory back in my review of the first "Kill Bill" movie, and I'll mention it again here. The backstory itself, while interesting, felt like it took too long to get through. And by the time that she gets killed towards the end of the movie, I kinda just forgot all about it. The only thing interesting about her backstory was the animation. But aside from that, I really didn't care enough about her. Because she was going to get killed in the end, and thus it makes her backstory kinda pointless. In fact, looking back at the first movie, it seemed to focus more on our assassins, rather than our main character, Mamba Black. Now while you did learn some things about her, and why she's getting revenge, it felt like you didn't learn enough about her. At least, when compared to this movie, which I'll talk more about in a bit. So anyway, we had that going on in the first movie. Now, while this movie IS a bit longer than the first "Kill Bill" movie, it felt like it was actually going somewhere. And almost every scene has a reason to exist. I could, maybe, point out a scene here and there that was kinda pointless, such as the stuff going on at the bar during the first third of the movie. But honestly, it's such a minor scene that it goes by pretty quickly, and by the time that it ends, the story comes back and continues where it left off. And from there, the movie is just going to keep you engaged, because you are going to be invested in what's going on with this story and how it ultimately ends. It really is a much better paced film, even if it's, like, 25 minutes longer than the first movie.

Now, as for the writing itself, it's great. I loved the writing in this movie. One of the big things that they improved on is Mamba Black's character. Like I mentioned earlier, in the first movie, while you did learn some stuff about her, it also left some things out that could've been explored more. For example, in the beginning of the first movie, we got to see Mamba Black's wedding ending in a bloody massacre. And from there, the first movie was painting itself as a standard, but very well done, revenge movie, where she's going after the assassin's that Bill had sent out after her. And we knew that she wanted to kill Bill in the end. And while that may or may not have been the movie's intention of keeping Uma Thurman's character to a minimum, it still could've been explored more. In this movie, they certainly did just that. We get to see a lot more of Mamba Black's backstory. About how she spent her time with Bill from before the wedding, about how she got to learn the kung-fu techniques from a racist and sexist old master. Yeah, I totally forgot to mention that the old master is also kinda sexist, just FYI. But anyway, we get to learn about her backstory in this movie. Now admittedly, it does take up quite a bit of time. But unlike Ishii's backstory, it actually has a reason for being here. It's not here just to fill in time. There is a plot-driven reason WHY we are seeing this. Not just because we get to see more of Mamba Black's backstory, but because everything that happens during those scenes has a reason to exist. And it does a fantastic job of doing all this while also moving the story forward. I mentioned it earlier, but this is how you do a proper sequel. I wasn't really sure if Tarantino was going to pull that off here, but he totally did. So, props to you, dude. You certainly did improve on this movie in a big way.

One other thing I want to mention involving the writing is the dialogue. Now, for those of you who have never seen any of Quentin Tarantino's movies, one of the things that he likes to do in his movies is giving characters lengthy dialogue scenes. And I said in my review of the first movie that it didn't quite work there, because it just felt like none of the dialogue was really that witty or interesting. I could also see that it was trying to be funny, but again, none of it really worked. At least, to me, it didn't. Some of it went on for lengthy period's of time, but it just felt like another pace breaker because none of it really went anywhere. Mind you, it's certainly not as badly utilized as it was in "Death Proof", but it was still rather noticeable. However, in "Kill Bill: Volume 2", the dialogue feels much more natural, and just about all of is rather interesting to listen to. One scene in particular that really highlighted this was when a little girl was talking about how she learned the meaning of life and death after accidentally killing a fish. Now, you would think that it wouldn't sound that interesting, but it actually REALLY is! I really didn't think I would care about how a fish died, but holy shit, it was so interesting that I was invested in where that story was going to go. That's how good the writing really is in this movie. The only bit that I had to question, and you probably already noticed this, was when Bill was talking about comic book heroes. One of them, in particular, was the comparison with Clark Kent and Superman. Now I get what he was trying to convey to Mamba Black, when comparing her with alter egos, but it just felt like using Superman as Clark Kent's identity of the world and how he views us was kind of a bad example, and I already explained why that was during the reaction portion of the movie. And it just leads me to believe that Bill (or Tarantino) does not get Superman. But anyway, the dialogue has mostly been improved in this movie, and, like I said, it's going to keep you engaged for over the next 2 hours of runtime that it has.

So yeah, the writing here is great. What about the acting? Well, similar to the first movie, the acting here is really solid. And I'm even going to include the little girl that I briefly mentioned a moment ago. You know, the one who talked about the fish. Her acting in this movie is pretty good. At least, when compared to the acting from the little girl from the first movie. Because if you'll recall, the only bit of acting that I thought was rather questionable in the first movie was from this little girl that had NO expression on her face whatsoever. I don't know if it was because of a poor direction she had, or if she just did not know how to act at all. But in this movie, the little girl they got here actually does a pretty decent job. She gets enough material to what she has to work with, but is also not overstaying her welcome in this movie. Because child actors, almost generally, are terrible actors by default. However, she does a good enough job as is, and it seemed like she had more of a direction in this movie, unlike the little girl from the first movie. But anyway, the acting from everyone in this movie is great, and they certainly had a lot of fun, especially since they had a great script to work with.

Special effects are really good. Blood effects are perfectly fine. The costuming here is also pretty good. The fight choreography is also done really well. Now admittedly, it's not as excessive as it was in the first movie, but what is here is choreagraphed really well. And I'm also quite happy that they don't overstay their welcome, unlike the first movie, where the big brawl that happens during the final portion of the film took a little bit too long for my tastes. But that's just a minor thing, really. Overall, guys, the fight choreogaphy in this thing is really good.

Camerawork here is also really good. And I'm also pleased to report that we don't have a lot of shots that are focused on Uma Thurman's feet. While they still do exist in this movie, it wasn't as excessive as it was in the first movie. Because the first movie REALLY wanted to focus on our main character's feet. Which not only slowed the pacing of the film down a bit, but it also provided a little too much material for Tarantino to work with, if you know what I mean. But anyway, I will say that the excessive foot shots of Uma Thurman are mostly toned down in this movie. So, at least, there is that. Sound-mix here is mixed well. The lighting is also really good. The score here, just as the first movie, is great. One bit of it, in particular, that was I quite happy to hear in this movie was during the beginning of it. As Mamba Black was leaving the church, we get to hear this guitar solo that was also in "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". It's a really good piece of music. But then again, considering that the score for that movie was done by Ennio Morricone, it was bound to sound amazing, anyways. So yeah, the score here is great, as is the soundtrack.

So, guys, when everything is said and done, am I able to recommend "Kill Bill: Volume 2"? You bet your ass I can recommend it! This movie is amazing. It is, at least in my eyes, how you do a sequel properly. Not a lot of movies are able to do that with me, but this movie is certainly one of those that does it right. Mind you, I'm not a die-hard fan of Quentin Tarantino, but when this man does it right, holy shit, he nails it to the ground. I'm also tempted to place this as my favorite movie from Tarantino, if not for "Django Unchained". However, I may have to rewatch that again and see how well that movie holds up when compared to this one. But anyway, if you guys haven't seen any of the "Kill Bill" movies yet, then I would wholeheartedly recommend you go and check out both movies. While I had some issues regarding the first movie, it's still good enough to where I can recommend both that and Volume 2. These movies are definitely worth checking out. And if you are curious about wanting to check out anything Tarantino has made as a first time viewer, than these movies are definitely a start. And as for myself, I quite enjoyed both of them really well. And I'm pleased enough to where they both will have a spot on my DVD shelf. Now...I'm gonna go do something else. I think I'm gonna go and watch a Western. And as much as I'd like to go and watch "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly", I just got finished with a pretty long movie. So, I think I'm gonna go watch..."For A Few Dollars More" instead. It's been quite a while since I last I watched that one, so I'm gonna go and do that next after I'm done putting this review together.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Garden Tool Massacre

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering a horror movie from 1997. That movie is "Garden Tool Massacre".

Now, this film has a little bit of an odd history. You see, it started life back in 1997, when it was originally shot with an Hi-8 camera. Or a camcorder, for those who don't know what an Hi-8 is. And at that time, the filmmakers only made about 20 minutes worth of film with their camcorder. And then later next year, they shot 45 more minutes on VHS. But because they didn't have enough footage to make it into a feature-length film, they apparently made several more short films from between 1997 and 1998 just so they had enough footage to make their movie into a feature film. I have no idea what those short films are, and how that's going to affect this movie, but I am really curious about that regardless.

I should also note that, even though this movie came out in 1997, there was never an official DVD release of this movie up until about a couple of years ago in 2020, when a company known as SRS Cinema finally decided to put this movie out on that format. Speaking of which, this DVD also claims to be an ultra rare SOV movie, and only a handful of copies of this movie exist from a man named David Hinds, the guy who co-wrote and directed this movie. And the only reason why I have a copy of this movie was because my local mini-mall was selling it there. So I decided to pick it up, because the cover of this thing, and from what I read on the back of the DVD case, looked and sounded just interesting enough for me to warrant covering for this series. By the way, on the off chance somebody might ask what SOV stands for, it basically stands for "shot on video", hence why I brought up the Hi-8 camera earlier on.

So...I have no idea what I'm getting myself into here. I didn't look up any trailers for this movie, because I'm really curious to find out how exactly this movie is going to turn out. I'm hoping for it to be interesting. I'm not totally sure if it's gonna be good, but it might still be interesting on a cheesy sorta level. But I have no idea if that's gonna be the case or not. So the only way I'm gonna find out how interesting this movie could possibly be, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Garden Tool Massacre".

5 minutes later

You know, guys, what I really like? I really like how this movie is just telling you what happened after Charles Scavolini brutally murdered his wife with nothing but a text screen. Rather than show us how he got caught after him killing his wife, or him being unable to stand trial, the movie just tells you all this with nothing but a warning about what happens after. So far, we're not off to a great start, guys.

4 minutes later

Wait, so this guy, who I'm gonna assume is Charles, just comes out of this door and puts his hand on this guy's face for about 3 seconds, and then he's dead. Really...? I'm pretty sure it's not possible to kill someone that quickly. And I probably wouldn't have a problem with this, if his hand applied more pressure to this guy's face. But it didn't. And the kill just comes off as kinda stupid, really.

8 minutes later

Guys, I'd love to hear what these actors are saying, but I can't, because, one, the sound-mix in this movie is terrible. And two, this actor's accent is so fucking thick that I can barely understand what he's trying to say. I'm not even 20 minutes into this movie, and yet, it's already becoming unwatchable. I seriously hope that the next hour and 10 minutes is gonna get better, but I honestly don't know if it's going to.

19 minutes later

So, guys, I was sort of hoping that I wouldn't have to ask this about a horror movie, but is ANYTHING interesting gonna happen in this fucking movie? I swear, guys, this movie's pacing is absolutely abysmal! And because of that, this movie has become boring as shit, and the dialogue is barely listenable, because I still can't hear a majority of it, even with the volume on my TV up at near max. This movie is fucking horrible, and I still got less than an hour to go! I'm not sure if I'm able to get through this movie, guys...

11 minutes later

Well, guys, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I can actually hear the dialogue now because they actually bothered to fix the sound nearly 50 minutes into the movie! It took them that long, but at least we finally got that fixed. The bad news, however? Now that I can hear the dialogue, the acting is fucking horrible. Mind you, it was horrible back when I still couldn't hear the dialogue. But now that I can clearly hear it, it actuallly sounds kinda worse, thanks to this horrible acting. I'm hating this movie, guys...I'm hating it in ways that I didn't think were even possible. This movie sucks!

7 minutes later

Guys, I really wish this movie would be consistent with it's sound. Because we just had a scene with Tamara and this other guy, and the sound-mix there was horrible. And now that this guy just returned to the living room, the sound's now back to where I can hear it properly. Did NOBODY put any effort into the making of this movie? Well...considering how this movie's turned out so far, I'm gonna take a safe bet here and say no.

The Review

Oh...thank you, Jesus, this movie is fucking done! Oh my god, um...well, guys, that was "Garden Tool Massacre". Let's shut this garbage off...all right. Dear god, that was one of the most torturous movies I've ever had to sit through in my entire time doing this series. And now...the fun part begins. Which is me tearing the shit out of this thing!

Now...let's start this all off by talking about the writing. What fucking writing...? I don't believe that there was a script for this. I truly don't. I think that everybody in this movie had bullet points that they were given to, and they all just phoned in a bullshit, lifeless showing. But I'll save that for when I get into the acting. Now, the story here...could've worked. I mean, it is a very stereotypical, cliche story that's not really doing anything new or different, but it still could've worked. Basically, our story here is about a killer named Charles Scavolini, who killed his wife that committed adultery and was sentenced to life to a mental hospital after being deemed unable to stand up in court, and was declared legally insane. And all of that was told to us in the opening prologue with nothing but text. Because why bother showing us all this when you could just TELL us what happened to Charles after he murdered his wife? But whatever, he's sentenced there for life and is never to be released outside to the public again. And then 7 years later, he escapes and begins his killing spree as he goes back to his home, to which it's now being occupied by our shallow and lifeless characters. And I'm not kidding about that, NOBODY has any depth or personality in this movie whatsoever. In fact, these characters don't even have a soul. These are honestly some of the most lifeless characters I've seen in ANY horror movie. I mean, shit, I've seen quite a bit of horror movies this year for this series, but even they had more life to them than any of these piss-weak characters! Everybody here is shallow and you're not gonna have any reason to care about them by the time that this movie is done.

Hell, guys, I can't even remember most of their fucking names because they are THAT lifeless. The only names I could remember were Mike, Ash, Jimbo, and Tamara. And the only reason why I could remember their names was because the movie was gracious enough to list off who played these lifeless characters. I could remember Mike's name, because he was one of the only characters who gets called by his name. That, and he was also the guy who wore a green sombrero. Ash, I think, is suppose to be our main character, but again, he's just as lifeless as everyone else is in this fucking movie. Speaking of which, that also includes our killer Charles Scavolini. He is, quite possibly, one of the most lifeless horror villains I've seen from any horror movie I've ever seen. And that's saying a lot, especially since I had the unfortunate displeasure of watching the fucking "Killjoy" movies earlier this year. And even Killjoy, as painfully annoying as he was, at least he had some semblance of character and depth to him. Charles Scavolini, though, doesn't. Like I said, the only thing we know about him is that he killed his adulterous wife, and was sent to a mental hospital for life. And that's all the 'depth' he gets. Now, I understand that he's mostly just a silent killer. But even silent killers such as Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees had more depth and background to them rather than Charles did. The only trait that Charles even has in this movie is when, in a couple of first-person view shots, you get to hear him breathing. Meaning that he's either about to kill his next victim, or he's just standing there doing nothing. Beyond that, there's nothing interesting about Charles Scavolini whatsoever. Now, like I said earlier, this story could've worked better had we had more depth to these characters. In fact, this is one of those movies that I think would work better if given a remake. Because I think you could do a whole lot more if this movie were given a chance to be remade in modern times. Give it an actual script, and give more depth to these characters. I strongly doubt that's going to happen, but that's just my own theory. So, you can just take that for what it's worth.

But beyond that, there is no writing here. The characters suck, our killer sucks, there's just nothing here about the writing that I would even consider passable. It's all terrible. Speaking of which, I would also consider the acting to be terrible. Now it's very well possible that, since this movie was filmed on an ultra low budget, David Hinds probably just had a few of his friends over to help film this movie. And, lull and behold, none of them can fucking act. The only decent bits of acting is whenever you get to hear Charles breathing in his POV shots. Yeah, that's the ONLY bit of a decent acting that I was able to pick up from this movie. That is just terrible, guys. But anyway, like I said, the acting here is horrible. Nobody here tried. Everybody here sounds wooden and lifeless as all hell. I would say that the acting sounds incredibly robotic, but that would be an insult to fucking robots. This acting is just horrible. It's not even horrible in a 'so bad it's good' kind of way. It's just horrible. And again, I probably shouldn't be expecting that from people who sounded like they never acted a day in their lives, but I was, at least, expecting a little bit of effort. But no, I didn't get that. So the acting is horrible from, just about, the entire cast in this movie.

Normally, I would be talking about the special effects next, but I'm gonna save that for later. Instead, I want to talk about the WORST problem that this movie has. Yes, it's worse than the writing, and worse than the acting. The worst thing about this movie is the absolutely atrocious sound-mix. Oh dear god...the sound-mix. Now, I briefly mentioned this movie's history earlier. About how this movie was filmed between 1997 and 1998 because they wanted to film enough footage to make their movie into a feature film. Well, I'm going to assume that, between that time, somebody fucked up with the sound-mix. Probably David Hinds, because he was the guy who, like I said earlier, wrote and directed this movie. But he also was in charge of the photography AND editing. I'm gonna mention the editing in a bit, but first, I want to talk about the sound-mix. This movie has some of the most inconsistent sound-mixing I have heard in a long, LONG time. Because for the first 45 minutes or so, the sound-mix is atrocious. The big reason why is because you can BARELY, if at all, hear the actors dialogue in this movie. A lot of it is drowned out by background noise. And I totally understand that when your filming your movie with a camcorder, you are bound to run that risk, but I was sorta hoping that they would be able to fix some of this when they were done filming. And they did...sort of. You see, this movie's sound-mix takes a dramatic turn after the first 45 minutes, in which you can finally hear the actor's dialogue. But that also presents another problem. Well, besides the acting being terrible, I mean. You see, when the sound-mix is drastically changed 45 minutes into the movie, you can only hear about two things at that point. You will either hear the actor's looped-in dialogue, which is one of the big changes from the previous 45 minutes, or you will hear the music playing at this party. Everything else involving sound and sound effects is almost completely gone, save for some sounds of stabbing coming from our killer. And for some bizarre reason, the sound doesn't entirely stay consistent, because it would go back and forth to this awful sound-mix from before the 45 minutes and to our current sound-mix, where it involved the looped-in acting and almost non-existent sound effects.

In fact, do you want to know how bad the sound-mix really is in this movie? Well, first off, I want you to imagine yourself watching old home videos of your childhood that you've probably watched about once or twice in your lifetime. I can guarantee you that they probably had better fucking sound than this piece of shit did. But that's honestly just an observation more than anything else. Now, the other reason why the sound-mix in this thing is so awful has to do with this DVD. You see, as I mentioned earlier, this movie was re-released on DVD in 2020 by SRS Cinema. They remastered it, which looks OK to a degree, but what they REALLY should've done was add in subtitles. Because this movie does not have an option in which you can watch this movie with subtitles. I checked the extras on this DVD to make sure, and sure enough, that is unfortunately the case. So that means that if you are dumb enough to watch this movie on DVD, good luck trying to hear what the actors are saying for the first 45 minutes, because most of that dialogue is inaudible. The only way you could MAYBE hear it is if you had the volume up at near max. Because this movie's dialogue is almost unlistenable. Now part of that has to do with the acting being incredibly lifeless, but I'm also putting the blame on SRS Cinema's release on this DVD, because they were too fucking lazy to get off their asses to add in something as simple as subtitles. I think it would've made the movie a little bit more tolerable. It wouldn't have been good, mind you, but at least it would've made the movie a little bit less painful to watch.

Camerawork, for what it is, is OK, considering the limitations they had to work with involving the Hi-8 camera. Lighting here is mostly shit, thanks to most of the dark areas that are in the latter half of the movie. But again, considering the limitations that had to work with involving the Hi-8, I'm gonna give some of that pass, as well. I do need to talk about editing, though. You see, I totally understand that they needed to film some extra footage in order for the movie to be made into a feature-length film. However...they could've filmed something better. Because this is gonna tie into the horrible pacing that this movie has. A lot of this movie, whenver it's not focusing on our killer, is just needless padding. There is a lot of footage in this movie that has no reason to exist. For example, we didn't need footage of our female character, Tamara, going into her house, changing, and then getting a phone call from one of her friends that they're having a party. That roughly takes about 5-6 minutes, and nothing of interest happens. We also didn't need excessive footage of Ash just doing his mundane activities. We didn't need footage of him trying to get dressed, making breakfast, and him watching TV while nothing is happening. And that latter bit happens after we get through our prologue. We also didn't need pointless scenes where he's doing, almost, the exact same thing again! Only this time, he's not only having dreams of our killer (which makes no sense), but he also spends a lot of time shaving. Which is, again, something that this movie did not need. If David Hinds REALLY wanted to pad this film out, he could've filmed something different. He could've probably filmed more story and depth involving our killer, such as him going to court and being declared legally insane. Or maybe have a scene or two of him in the mental hospital where we see how he's being treated there. He could've done something like that. But instead, it's just pointless filler that contributes nothing to the overall movie. And that is sad on a whole host of levels.

Special effects are mostly cheap. However, being that this is a low budget movie, I'm gonna give some of that a pass, because what is here for special effects isn't the worst thing in the world, nor is it the best. Music here is also shit, but considering that most of it is just party music, and being that party music is shit in general, I guess that's just par for the course when it comes to party music.

So...when all is said and done, guys, can I recommend "Garden Tool Massacre"? No! In no way, can I recommend this movie. This is, by far, one of the worst horror movies I've ever had the displeasure of watching. And I've seen a lot of bad horror movies in my time. But this shit ranks high up there in terms of one of the worst out there. It's awful by low budget standards. And I'm shocked that this movie was released the way it is on DVD. It's really not worth your time, unless if you have some morbid curiosity to check this thing out. If you ABSOLUTELY have to watch this movie, then you could go to SRS Cinema's website and purchase the movie off there. But seriously, do not waste your time on this movie. It is awful on just about every level that I didn't think was even possible. This movie is just unwatchable from start to fucking finish. And I can't wait until I trade this awful fucking movie in the moment that I get that chance. Now...I'm gonna go watch something else. Something better. And I was thinking about this earlier, but when I was watching it, it kinda reminded me of "Stitches". So, I'm gonna go and watch that next. Because I REALLY need to watch something better than this awful thing that I had to sit through for over an hour.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | You're Under Arrest: The Movie

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentleman, I'm gonna be covering an animated film from 1999. That movie is "You're Under Arrest: The Movie". Or "The Motion Picture", because even though that's what it says on the DVD cover, most sites I've read refer to this thing as "You're Under Arrest: The Movie". I have no idea if that's the actual title or not, but I'll stick with it and see if they're right on that.

So...this movie's been put on the back burner for quite a long time for various different reasons. For starters, trying to find a decent image for the cover of this movie for the R&R title card was a pain in the ass, because a lot of the images that I could find were all blurry as shit. Secondly, other movies that I had found, either online or at my local video stores, were considered more of a priority over this thing, so I kept pushing it back. And lastly, this movie is based off a series that I have never seen. So I wasn't really sure if it would be a good idea to cover something without having seen a bit of the series first. And for a while, I was contemplating on just watching this movie on my own time...at least, until I WAS able to work in a cover image for the title card that wasn't fucking blurry as hell, and I decided to cover it for this month, because I was tired of pushing this movie back from the schedule.

So, you might be wondering, with all that has happened with me pushing this movie back, why did I want to cover this movie? Well, honestly, it really has to do with the premise. The premise to this movie is that a bunch of traffic cops, while on traffic duty, have found a secret document that contains very detailed plans from terrorists that want to blow up all of Tokyo. And I was sold on it just based off the premise alone. Now, as I stated earlier, I had no idea that this movie was based off a series with the "You're Under Arrest" title. So when I finally decided to look up the scant bit of research about the series, I found out that the series originally ran for about 12 years. All the way from 1996 to 2008. And seeing as how this movie came out in 1999, I'm probably gonna be missing out on some details, seeing as how it was released during the show's early years.

Now, I'm hoping that those details are very minor, because I really want to see if this movie is able to stand out on it's own. And if I end up liking it, I may have to look up some episodes of the TV show online somewhere and give them a watch. I'm not sure if this movie is gonna be a good ambassador to the series, but I'm still hoping for it to be pretty good. So the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is any good at all, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "You're Under Arrest: The Movie".

7 minutes later

Well, guys, I think can safely say that whoever they got to voice this female cop with the glasses sounds like shit. I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but every line of dialogue she has given out, so far, sounds overly sarcastic. And it's beginning to sound grating already. Mind you, the acting from everybody else sounds OK, but the voice that this female cop has sounds fucking terrible.

5 minutes later

I am willing to say this, guys. While the movie is a little bit dull right now, I can say that the music here is pretty good. Again, I know you guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song that's playing here is actually pretty jammin! I'm really digging this song, guys.

20 minutes later

So, guys, I was hoping that I wouldn't have to ask this, but I'm going to anyway. Is anything interesting gonna happen in this movie? So far, the only things we've been established is that a police chief has been put in jail because he might aiding a former partner of his that he hasn't seen in 2 years. That's it. Everything else has been rather dull. I'm genuinely hoping that the movie's gonna get interesting at some point. But as of right now, I'm not sure if it's going to.

1 minute later

Well...I was asking for something interesting to happen, and blowing up a bridge was certainly the way to do it. I'm hoping that this is a good sign of things to come for this movie.

4 minutes later

OK, I have a question about something. Considering that there are so many bridges in Tokyo, why doesn't the Bokuto police department enlist the Japanese military for assistance? I understand that there's not really a war going on, but considering the stakes that are going on right now, wouldn't it make sense to enlist them for help? That way, you would be able to speed up the process of defusing the bombs faster and not risk having all of the bridges in Tokyo blow up. But hey, perhaps that's just me.

3 minutes later

So...this entire bombing was just a false flag attack, just so the terrorists can use this "Bee Number One" program to assault the various police stations all across Tokyo. I gotta say...that's actually kinda brilliant. I really would've never thought about that. And that also throws out my question in regards to the Japanese military not getting involved. So, I guess that makes me look rather foolish.

10 minutes later

Wait, so all of these guns that the Bokuto police force are using have the ammunition of paint balls? OK...seems kinda stupid. But then again, considering the conditions that they're currently in, I guess they gotta make due with what they got. Still never thought I'd see paint balls being used against terrorists, though.

18 minutes later

O...K. I didn't think that it would be possible to lift a fucking tire with one arm and throw it at a precise point, where it breaks the glass at the front of a boat that the terrorists were driving. That was actually really cool! I'm kinda impressed by that.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "You're Under Arrest: The Movie". And yeah, that is the actual title thanks to the opening credits. Anyway, let me go ahead and shut the movie off...OK. Hmm...how to go into this one? Well, I will say that the movie was...OK. It wasn't amazing, but it's certainly not awful either.

So, I guess I should probably get into this thing by talking about the writing. Writing here, on it's own standards, is decent. What I mean by that is that if you were to view this as a basic police thriller, then it's OK. I mean, it's certainly nowhere near as good as, say, any of the "Dirty Harry" movies, but it's still a rather entertaining movie on it's own. However, this is gonna tie into a big problem that I had with this movie. And when I say that it's a big problem, I mean it's only a problem if you're someone, such as myself, who has never seen the "You're Under Arrest" anime series. Because when it comes to this movie, there is no character depth to be had here. Being that this was the first movie, I'm going to assume, that ever came out under this title, you would think, maybe, that you'd get some depth from some of these characters. And outside of the Chief and Natsumi, nobody has any real depth to speak of. Everybody in this movie is just there for the sake of being there, and I wasn't given a reason to care about a lot of these characters. Now if I actually had watched some of the anime first before diving into this movie, then I probably would've gotten more character development from there. However, a movie that's tied into a series should be able to stand out it's own. If you want proof of this, then go watch "Transformers: The Movie". It was able to do just that, even as that series was still going on. You didn't really need to watch the series in order for you to get into the movie, because it was still able to stand out on it's own with it's strong writing. And while I will say that, again, the writing here is decent, it doesn't really do a good enough job to where it's able to stand out in order for you to not watch the series first. And that, to me, is a huge disappointment. Because since character development doesn't really exist in this movie, it kinda leaves a lot here to be desired. However, again, that's only a problem if you went into this movie without having seen the anime first. Some people who have seen the anime will probably get into this movie with no problems. However, for non-viewers of the anime, that's not gonna be the case. So, just to warn you ahead of time, you might want to watch some of the anime first before you dive into this thing. I feel that it would be much more beneficial if you did that.

Now, I'm not gonna let that hold me back from liking this movie. Because, as I just stated, on it's own standards, the movie is actually OK. As I stated earlier, it's about these traffic cops that are after a group of terrorists that are after a computer program called "Bee Number One". Well technically, they wanted to go after an advanced version of that program that's able to destroy the global economy. Which is a really cool plan, all things considered. And it is rather entertaining to see how exactly these traffic cops are going to stop all this and bring down the terrorists at the same time. Now, while I could still rag on this movie for it's almost non-existent character development, it is still going to keep you engaged, especially if you're someone who's into police movies or TV shows. I mean, as someone who's a fan of movies such as the "Dirty Harry" series, or on the TV side of things "Dragnet", I was able to stay engaged with what's going on throughout almost the entire movie. I would say that the weakest part of the writing for this movie is the first 30 minutes. Because the first 30 minutes have almost nothing going on. Outside of our cops stopping a weapons smuggling operation, nothing of interest really happens. And what's funny about all this is that the moment that I complained about that bit, the movie actually started to get interesting. And from there, I was totally engaged as to where all this was going. So, it's kind of a double-edge sword. If you're able to overlook the non-existent character depth, then what you have is essentially a popcorn flick. Where you can go into this movie and not really think too hard about the problems that this movie does have. I will also say that this movie mixes in humor with it's drama and action. And it does kinda work here. It does take itself seriously, but not to a point where it turns into an ultra serious movie. It does leave enough room for humor. And thankfully, it's mosty really balanced here. Again, I could rail on this movie's lack of character development, but as a standard police movie where it's just them trying to stop the criminals, it is rather entertaining, and I'm happy that this movie was able to accomplish that much.

So, writing here is decent, as long as you view it on it's own standards, rather than compare it with the anime series. But with that being said, let's delve into the acting. Now, I opted to watch the English dub. And the dub here is...OK. It's not completely awful, but it's not great either. There are two characters I want to bring up. One of them is Yoriko, the one who I referred to earlier that wears glasses. Her voice in this movie is just painful to listen to. Like I said earlier, she sounds overly sarcastic, at times, when she's delivering her lines, and it just didn't stop with her. Now I have no idea if that's she sounded like in the anime series, but if it is, then I hope it's slightly better handled there than in this movie. The other character I want to make mention of is this one police chief who, I swear, sounds like he has throat cancer. Every time he spoke his lines, I could barely understand what he was trying to say. I could see that the actor was trying to give him a roughly gruff voice, but it just sounded like the chief just had a bad case of throat cancer, and it just kinda sounded like shit to me. Beyond that, though, like I said, the dub here is OK, but it could've been better.

The animation here is really good, for the most part. There may have been a janky movement here and there, but since it's incredibly minor, I'm not really gonna consider it a flat-out negative. The art style here is great. The color pallets are used very well. It is a rather colorful movie to look at. And for 1999 standards, this is a really good-looking movie. It's not amazing, mind you, and there are certainly better-looking animated movies that came out during that time, but that's only if you were dumb enough to compare it to today's standards. However, for the standards of 1999, it looks really good for it's time.

Sound-mix is, actually, a bit of a problem. And it's really only a problem whenever any cop has talk to each other through a radio transmission. Because every time that this happens, the dialogue is almost inaudible to listen to. And I understand that, sometimes, it can be hard to listen to another person through a radio transmission. But I've seen enough cop shows and movies to where whenever they use this sort of technology, I'm still able to hear what they are clearly saying. This movie, however, doesn't really have that kind of luxury. And all I hear is just noise on the other end. But beyond that, though, the sound-mix is OK for everything else. The music and score here is really good. There really isn't a whole lot of music being played throughout the entire movie, but it actually does work to it's advantage. One scene I can think of that does this perfectly is when the terrorists invade the Bokuto police department. The scenes that play out during those bits are actually rather tense, and the fact that there is no music playing helps build the movie's atmosphere really well. And I really like it when a movie goes to that kind of detail. It may be a minor detail, but it's still something that I really appreciate, nonetheless. And the music that does play here is pretty good. So yeah, the score here is most certainly a positive.

So ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, can I recommend "You're Under Arrest: The Movie"? I would personally say watch some of the anime series first before you delve into this movie. Because if you're someone who's looking for character development, then this movie is not going to do that for you. This movie is really just a standard police film, if you were viewing by it's own standards. As a movie that ties into the series, though, it really doesn't delve into who our characters are and why we should care about them. Maybe the series actually did more of that than this movie did, so that's why I'm recommending you watch the "You're Under Arrest" series first before going into this movie. However, if you're someone that's just looking for an entertaining police film, then this movie is certainly gonna provide that for you. However, like I said earlier, don't expect anything involving character development, because this movie really falters in that area. But still, I would say it is a decent movie on it's own standards. I may actually look into the series itself online somewhere and watch a few episodes here and there to see if it's any good. And considering that this movie was OK, I think it might actually be pretty good. But right now, I'm kinda in the mood to watch another police movie. I mentioned the "Dirty Harry" series earlier, so I'm gonna go and watch one of those movies. Probably "Magnum Force", since I already saw the first movie earlier this year, and I haven't gotten around to watching the second movie yet. So, I'm gonna go do that next after I'm done putting this review together.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Waitress!

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be checking out a comedy from 1981. That movie is "Waitress!".

About the only thing I can tell you that I know about this movie is that it was put out by Troma. And I've mentioned them a few times in my past reviews when covering their movies. They're basically one of the most well-recognized indie film studios that's still around today. And I've noticed that I haven't been really covering a whole lot of movies from Troma lately. The last movie I covered from Troma was last year, and I'm only covering one movie from them this year. So, it has been a bit...sporadic, to say the least. However, I do plan on changing that next year, because, a bit of a spoiler here, I'm gonna be doing a marathon dedicated to both Troma and Full Moon, which I'll get into more details about it early next year.

So, you've probably noticed that I haven't been really talking about tonight's movie yet. And why is that? Well, honestly, I couldn't find very much information about this movie. The only thing that I could find out about it was that it was the second film in a line of "sexy comedies" put out by Troma. And apart from that, I don't know ANYTHING else about this movie. Now, since this movie is a comedy, I'm hoping that it's better than the last comedy that I watched from Troma, which was "Vegas in Space". Which was absolutely terrible, and there was no comedy to be found in that movie whatsover. I'm hoping that this thing is gonna be a step up from "Vegas in Space", but I could easily see this thing being as terrible as that movie was. I'm hoping that's not the case, because I do want this thing to be decent, both as a comedy and as a movie. And the only way I'm gonna find out if this movie is decent, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Waitress!".

10 minutes later

OK, I have a question that I'm probably not going to get an answer to, but I'm curious about something. What woman jogs in their high-heels? I can't imagine that's comfortable on any woman that does this. Especially knowing that the stilt of those heels could break at any time. It just looks incredibly wrong to me, you know?

10 minutes later

You know, out of all the things I was expecting from this movie, I wasn't expecting someone to sniff up whipped cream as if it were cocaine. That's...something different. Also, I just saw a cowboy chef hogtie, I think, a customer as well. Yeah, this movie is just flat out insane, guys, and we're not even a half hour into the movie yet.

10 minutes later

OK, you know what? The way that Andrea just read back the letter from this guy about Joan of Arc was fucking funny as shit. I really was not expecting that at all, but god damn it, it was actually really funny! I'm kinda impressed by that.

16 minutes later

You know, I don't claim to be an expert on women's anatomy, but I'm gonna take a wild guess here and say that those are, probably, some of the most fakest boobs I have ever seen. Also, I never thought I'd get to see a physical demonstration of women's breasts in medical school. Not totally sure how common that was back in the 1980's, but if that's how demonstrations were like back then, then the 80's must've been fucking tame as hell. Just thought I'd share that with you guys.

15 minutes later

I think I have found a problem with this movie, guys. This movie was going somewhere for a while, but now it's just delving into random chaos. And I totally understand that Troma is known for weird bullshit, but this movie's just becoming weird for the sake of being weird. And it's kinda becoming too much, even for me.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Waitress!". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off...OK. Good god, where do I even start? Well...first things first. Earlier, I said that I wanted this movie to be better than the last comedy that I watched from Troma, which was "Vegas in Space". And I wanted this thing to be a decent comedy, too. Well, guess what? I actually got that. Mind you, this thing is flawed as shit, but at least it's a better movie than "Vegas in Space". And that's really the best I could've asked for.

But now, I should probably get into the movie itself. Let's start with the writing. Now earlier, I stated, going in, that I had very little information about this movie. And because of having so little information, I had no idea what the hell kind of plot this movie was going to have. Or even if it had a plot whatsover. Well, there actually IS some kind of plot, even if it is rather disorganized. Because there's two different stories going on here. The first story, and the one that gets the most development, involves one of our waitresses named Andrea Morgan. Andrea is a failing actress who is trying so desperately hard to get into stage theater by audtioning for many roles, but gets turned down a lot from others that simply say no to her. And then, suddenly, she gets the inspiration to try out for the role of Joan of Arc. However, Mr. Belleman, who is the producer, does not want her, because he already has a different actress for that role, even though she is described as being a "much older actress" who does not look fit to be playing the role of a character who is suppose to be 18. We never see this actress that Mr. Belleman mentions, so I couldn't tell you how old this actress, that he picked, was. But anyway, when Andrea gets turned down by him, she pretty much tells him that she is gonna be keeping an eye on him, no matter where he goes, until she gets the part, because this is a role that she desperately wants. And this leads into stalker territory, as Mr. Belleman is being lead into delusions of grandeur, because he truly believes that she is not going to leave him alone until she gets the role. Honestly, despite some questionable bits, it's actually some of the best parts of the movie, because Andrea definitely gets the most development in this entire movie. Which is more than what I could say for Jennifer, which leads into the other story, where she's trying to write for a mature teen magazine on how to pick up men. And I really couldn't tell you a whole lot that happens with her story, outside of a couple of bits, which were admittedly funny, however, her character was pretty bland throughout the entire movie.

Which now leads me into talking about the biggest problem with this movie, which is the restaurant itself. First of all, I want to make mention that this movie is, like I said earlier, a straight-up comedy. At no point does this movie ever takes itself seriously. It is just straight-fire comedy that comes right at you in your face. And I appreciate that this movie knew what it wanted to be, unlike "Vegas in Space", where shit just happened and none of it made any sense. Which admittedly, this movie DOES have that problem. But, at least, it's slightly better handled here than what happened in "Vegas in Space". However, I suppose I should get into the problem that I was gonna delve into before I mentioned the humor. You see, when this movie is focused on both of our stories involving Andrea and Jennifer, it's something that you can follow and would probably find something to like out of it. But when it's focused on this restaurant that they both work at, the focus is completely gone and it's just nothing but random chaos. I swear, guys, there is so much shit going on at this restaurant that trying to even to attempt to explain all this would be a fucking feat in and of itself! Like, I could mention the fucking chef cowboy, who has a thing for Jennifer in this movie, if just briefly. I could mention the guy who snorts up whipped cream as if it was cocaine, which I sorta did anyways. Or I could bring up this head chef, who is known for getting angry when drunk and will just put in random ingredients into this cooking pot that makes no sense whatsoever. What also makes no sense to me is how the hell this restaurant even got past health inspection to begin with? Because since there's so much shit that goes on at this place, you would think that any of the customers would've reported this and said that there may be something wrong with this place. But surprisingly, that doesn't happen. Not even when some customers either have a live turtle in their soup, a shoe that's buried in their food, or when random shit is going on in the kitchen itself. My guess is either it's New York (where this movie takes place in BTW) and nobody cares about the quality of the restaurants that they go to there, or I'm just thinking way too hard about a comedy that wasn't really meant to be taken seriously, anyways. However, I could imagine those questions popping up in anyone else's mind, if they ever decided to watch this movie.

And unfortunately, the random chaos doesn't just solely focus on this restaurant. It also kinda barges it's way into Andrea's story. Because when Andrea finally gets the chance to audition for the role of Joan of Arc, she and Jerry, who is her love interest AND the owner of the restauarant, spend time together in his apartment. And then all of a sudden, people just started coming into Jerry's apartment, and it just doesn't stop. There are so many people that enter his apartment that any development we might've had is just interrupted by this madness that goes on during this entire scene. And I guess there was suppose to be conflict between Andrea and Jerry about her getting this role and her position as a waitress of Jerry's restaurant, but I honestly couldn't focus on that, because there was just so much random bullshit that happens when these people enter their apartment room. And to give you guys some perspective, I'm gonna compare this movie with another Troma film that I love to watch, that being "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.". You see, guys, Sgt. Kabukiman had random chaos going on as well, but, at least, it was still rather tame because it still focused on it's main story. This thing, however, has so much random chaos that it just kinda fell flat and pointless.. And again, I understand that Troma is known for being weird, wacky, and loves to inject a lot of comedy, but you also kinda want to have a bit of a balance as well. And unfortunately for this movie, that's not really the case. And, for me personally, it's honestly the weakest part of the entire movie.

However, if you can look past the random chaos that happens within this movie, what you have is a pretty decent comedy. And I actually did get a laugh out of a couple of jokes here, because they were legitimately really funny. And that's more than what I could say about a lot of supposed "comedies" that I've seen for this series. So, to sum up, the writing here is OK, as long as you can look past all of the insane madness that happens within this movie. With that said, let's get into the acting. The acting here is actually pretty decent. Again, none of it is amazing. But then again, from the few films that I've seen from Troma, acting is usually sort of a mixed bag when it comes to this studio. However, I can honestly say that this is some of the better acting that I've seen from them in a while. Everybody here feels comfortable on camera, and I couldn't really pick out any bad actors from this movie. Some actors do kinda ham it up, but it's still tolerable in the long run. So hey, at least the acting here is decent for what it is. Not amazing, but I'll take decent acting over bad acting almost any day.

Special effects, what very few there were, are OK for what it is. However, I should also mention that Troma is known for being one of the godfathers of low budget movies. So, you're not really expecting high quality art here. A lot of the stuff they work with here is actual food, which makes sense considering that this movie centers around a restaurant and all. And it does work, for the most part. Makeup effects here are OK. Costuming is kinda all over the place. I could remember the waitress's outfits looking fine. Andrea's armor, when she's trying to get Mr. Belleman's attention, looks kinda like shit, but it's not really that noticeable, unless you were really looking at it, like I was. So overall, everything here looks OK, at least when it comes to the costuming.

Camerawork here is OK. Lighting here is decent, but there are times where, when it's filming in dark areas, it looks kinda like shit, and you can barely see what's going on. However, those shots are very few and far between. So it's not like you'll have to worry about it too much. But then again, I did watch this movie off of YouTube, and I have no idea if the movie is like that on DVD or Blu-ray. Aside from that, lighting, as I just stated, is still decent. Sound-mix here is OK. The soundtrack here is pretty good, actually. There are quite a few songs here in this movie that are actually kinda catchy, so I can definitely say that the soundtrack here is nothing to scoff at.

Ultimately, guys, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Waitress!"? Um...kind of. Again, if you're able to look past all of the weird, random chaos that happens within this movie, then I'd say that you're in for a pretty decent comedy. However, if you're someone who's not into straight-fire comedies that just goes full-on comedy mode, then this movie might not be for you. If you're someone who is looking for more of a balance for comedies, then, again, I would not recommend this kind of movie for you. However, if you ARE into straight-fire comedies that are just in your face, then you're gonna have a fucking blast with this movie. And who knows? You might actually really like the random chaos that happens within this movie. So, if you're into that kinda thing, then you can probably find this movie up on YouTube somewhere. In fact, I'm gonna do something I normally don't do very much of. I'm gonna put a link to this movie in the description for you guys to watch. If you are curious enough, go ahead and click the link and check this movie out for yourself. And if you like it enough, then find a copy of it somewhere on DVD or Blu-ray. As for myself, I'm not totally sure if it's something that I would add to my DVD collection, but I still had a bit of with fun it, so I can't really say that the movie wasted my time. Now, as for myself, I'm gonna go and watch my copy of "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.". I'm in the mood for another Troma flick, so I'm gonna go and watch that next.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Kill Bill: Volume 1

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentleman, I'm gonna be covering a martial arts film from 2003. That movie is "Kill Bill: Volume 1".

Yes, guys, I'm gonna be tackling another movie from Quentin Tarantino. Not only am I gonna be covering Volume 1, but I'm also gonna be covering Volume 2 later on this month. So you'll kinda have an idea as to what I have planned for this month. Now, the last time I covered anything from Quentin Tarantino was when I reviewed "Death Proof". Which was a movie that I covered a LONG time ago. And to make a long story short, "Death Proof" was complete shit. At least, to me, it was. And I stated, back then, that thanks to "Death Proof" being a massive turd, I was gonna be more cautious in covering any more of Tarantino's movies. And after about 2 years, I decided to finally break down and give Tarantino another shot here. And I decided to pick both "Kill Bill" movies for this month.

Now, I'm gonna tell you everthing I know about the "Kill Bill" franchise going in. I know that both movies were written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, I know that they both star Uma Thurman, and I also know that she's set out on a mission to kill Bill. At least, that's who I'm going to assume she's after, if the title is any indictation. I'll find out, eventually, when I start watching the movie. Now, I actually saw a little bit of the first movie on TV years ago, but I couldn't tell you much about it, because I honestly didn't know what to think of it back then. I think it might've been airing on FX, though I could be totally wrong there.

Beyond that, I don't know anything else about this movie. So, I'm just gonna go into this thing almost completely blind. I'm hoping that both these movies are gonna be good, but I also have to remember how much "Death Proof" sucked, so I am still gonna remain cautious going in, because I know that Tarantino is not perfect. But I'm still gonna hope that, at least, this movie is gonna be pretty good. And the only way I'm gonna find out how good or bad this movie could possibly be, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Kill Bill: Volume 1".

9 minutes later

OK, I'm sure there's probably a justifiable reason for this, but I'm gonna ask this question anyway. Why are they censoring our main character's name? They've already done it twice now, and it's beginning to bug me a little bit. Again, I'm pretty sure there is a reason for them censoring our main character's name, but I'm still curious as to why they're going with this route? I'm hoping there's a good reason for this. Otherwise, it just seems kinda stupid.

6 minutes later

So...this little girl just witnessed her Mom getting killed by our main character...and she had no emotion on her face whatsoever. I'm sorry, but any normal child who witnesses their parent getting killed would PROBABLY have a much different reaction other than having a blank stare on their face. But hey, maybe she just doesn't have any idea as to the concept of death, so perhaps, maybe, it was due to a lack of poor parenting on her mother's part. Or maybe she's just a bad child actress, who knows?

11 minutes later

OK, that's something I never wanted to see. I never wanted to see a close-up shot of a mosquito sucking the blood out of someone's skin. That's just...god, that's just nasty.

30 seconds later

...And I never knew that the bullet was still stuck to her head. Jesus, this movie loves to show our main character in pain. Still though, it's, at least, building sympathy for our Bride. I just didn't expect that much pain from her.

8 minutes later

Well, I guess it wouldn't be a Quentin Tarantino movie if we didn't get a shot of our main character's feet. It's good to know that Tarantino certainly has his priorities straight, am I right?

10 minutes later

You know, guys, as cool and as interesting as Ishii's backstory was, it also took up a LOT of time. I'm gonna talk about more about that when this movie is done, but I just thought I'd let you guys know now that that entire backstory felt kinda long.

12 minutes later

Well, guys, I can say this much. Even though the story has definitely slowed down a bit, I will say that the music here is great. I know you guys can't hear it for obvious reasons, but the music in this scene is great. It's like a mixture of something you would hear from a Western mixed in with Japanese music. It really is fantastic to listen to.

15 minutes later

OK, you know how I commented earlier that the music in this thing has been really good so far? Well, I think I've found a song here that kinda ruins that a bit. I HATE this song that's playing here. It really does suck. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

16 minutes later

OK, you know what? The lighting that's going on during this long fight scene looks really cool. I'm actually really liking how they're playing with the blue lighting during this fight. It kinda spices this long, drawn-out fight sequence a bit. I'm actually kinda digging that.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Kill Bill: Volume 1". Let me go ahead and shut the movie off...OK. Well...that was indeed "Kill Bill: Volume 1". So, what exactly do I start with? Well, I guess I should probaby state that, when compared to the previous movie from Tarantino that I reviewed, this movie stands head and shoulders above "Death Proof". Now, that may not be saying very much, but it is, at least, something.

So, right now, I should probably talk about the movie itself. Let's start off with the writing. Now, if you have been reading my reviews in the past, I talked about how much I enjoy revenge films. However, with the revenge films that I've covered in this series, all of those faltered for various different reasons. I'm talking about movies such as "Drive Angry", "Tamara", and I would even include "Death Proof", because it was technically a revenge movie. And of all those movies, as I just mentioned, were terrible because of various problems that happened within their own stories. Whether it's characters that were shallow and completely lifeless, stories that didn't really go anywhere, or just illogical bullshit that didn't really make sense. Mind you, those are just a few examples of the movies that I brought up. I'm probably missing a few other movies, but those were the ones that I wanted to bring up, because those are my examples of poorly written revenge films. But when it comes to "Kill Bill: Vol. 1", we actually have a revenge story that is, for the most part, really well written. And what helps it the most is our characters. Specifically, our main character, who is code named Mamba Black. Now earlier, I did bring up the weird idea of just censoring her personal name, but they did actually take the time to explain it shortly after I complained about it. So, at least, this movie was quick enough to address that. But anyway, Mamba Black's character in this movie is really well written. And you really do care about her when you learn about all of the horrible stuff that happened to her at her wedding. Now granted, some of it is left a bit vague, such as why exactly were they trying to kill her to begin with, but it's not really that important for now. Point is, you do have a reason to care about her and her desire to get revenge against the people that ruined her life. And that's something I've always wanted from revenge movies is to have a reason to care about the characters whom you're suppose to get behind. And this movie certainly does a great job of establishing that reason.

On that same token, they also established who our villains are. Well, to be more accurate, they establish our main villain for this movie, who is named Ishii. Ishii's backstory is given time to flesh out, and that's something I don't see a lot of out of revenge movies. Because sometimes, they might give you a reason to care about the protagonist, but not the villain. Or they may not do either one, and you basically have a pointless revenge film with no reason to care about the characters. But in this movie, they establish who our villain is, and her backstory. And, like I said, the movie does take the time to establish her character, and that's something I also appreciate. However...this does lead to a big problem I had with this movie, which would be the pacing. I've talked about pacing a lot in movies, in how it could either make or break your movie. And while I will say that it doesn't really break this movie, it DOES slow it down quite a bit. Because the backstory involving Ishii roughly takes about 10 minutes to get through. Which may not sound bad, but it does kinda make you wonder why they spent this much time on it? And right from when this backstory ends, and up until Mamba Black gets her sword in Okinawa, there really isn't much happening. And, to me anyway, it just feels like the story took a backseat while the movie just did it's own thing. Now, I understand that Tarantino really likes to try and inject lengthy dialogue into his movies, but I feel like none of the dialogue here was, in any way, interesting. It wasn't interesting in "Death Proof" and it wasn't interesting here. The only other two movies that I've seen from him that made his lengthy dialogue work was in "Django Unchained" and "Pulp Fiction", and that's mainly because those two movies from Tarantino were written a tad bit better. Here though, not quite. Mind you, the story here is fine when it wants to get moving. But the times when it has to slow down, and there's nothing interesting going on, it really feels like, at times, this movie was desperate to try and find a way to pad itself to it's 111 minute runtime. Which doesn't completely ruin the movie, but it is definitely noticeable, especially if you're someone who has never watched any of Quentin Tarantino's movies.

Now that aside, the writing here is still really good, as long as you're able to look past the noticeable pacing issues that this movie does suffer from. And it's also very noticeable during the last half hour or so, when it's all just one giant fight scene. Which is really cool for about 5 minutes, but it starts to drag itself out for quite a while. And by that point, I was just sorta numb to all of the fighting that was going on, because there was just so much of it. But again, the writing here is still good, as long as you're able to overlook what I just mentioned. Anyway, with that out of the way, let's get into the acting. The acting here is really good from, just about, the entire cast. The only questionable bit of acting I have to make mention of is the one lone child actress that appears during the beginning portion of the movie. Throughout her entire appearance, she has only ONE expression which is basically looking dull on camera and not knowing how to express an emotion. Now, I'm not entirely certain if that was the intention or not, but it just feels like her inclusion in this movie was completely unnecessary. Like, I'm still sorta baffled as to how she has no hint of a reaction upon finding her mother being killed by Mamba Black. Again, I don't know if it was because she was never told about the concept of death by her mother, or if this child actress has never acted a day in her life. I don't know, and honestly, she really served no purpose of being in this movie. Beyond her, though, the acting is fantastic from everybody else. Aside from that one child actress, I couldn't find anybody else here that may have phoned it in or just acted terribly. So yeah, the acting here is mostly great.

I want to mention animation. And the reason why I'm bringing this up is because Ishii's backstory is done entirely with 2D animation. And the animated backstory for Ishii was made by a studio known as Production I.G. And they have made a LOT of stuff involving television, movies, and video games that's just too many to count. But on the topic for Ishii's backstory, it's animated very well. I did notice quite a bit of shading on some of the characters which looked a bit rough. But for the most part, it still looks very well drawn. The art style is really good, the color palettes are used fine here. Overall, the animation in this segment is really good. And even though I think it went on a little bit too long for my tastes, it's still animated very well. So, at least, I can give it that much. Our costuming here is good. Special effects are great, mostly because a lot of it involves practical blood. And there is a LOT of it in this movie. So, at least, this movie's not shy in showing it all off. Makeup effects are pretty good. The fight choreography is great. Even though I think the latter fight scene towards the end took up a lot of time, I will say that it is choreographed really well. And I'm kinda amazed that this movie was able to work in so many people involving this one lone fight scene. It is gory, it is long, but there is still enough to like here. So if you're someone who likes a good, long fight scene, then this movie is probably gonna be a treat for you.

Camerawork here is really good, but I do have to make mention of something that ties back into pacing. For those of you who don't know, one of the things that Quentin Tarantino is known for is having a foot fetish. Now, I am not going to judge him for that. If that's what he's into, then that's totally fine. However, he REALLY ups the ante in this movie when it comes to his fetish. If you thought his fetish wasn't known by watching "Death Proof", then this movie is gonna solidify that for you in spades. There are so many shots in this movie where the camera will focus on women's bare feet. And the biggest case scenario is Uma Thurman. Because most of this takes place after Mamba Black leaves the hospital and attempts to get into a really ugly-looking car. And once she gets in, that's when the camera will really focus on Uma Thurman's feet. Now, there IS kind of a reason for this, storywise, but all it really convinced me was that Tarantino really needed to get one out of himself, if you know what I mean. Anyway...setting aside Tarantino's fetish, camerawork here is really good for everything else. The lighting here is also lit really well. It's also used pretty well during the long fight scene towards the end, where it's used a couple of times whenever it has to turn black and white, or it turns blue, at one point, during the ending portion of the fight scene. Sound-mix here is mixed well. The score and soundtrack is fantastic, except for one song. The song is simply titled "Woo Hoo". I don't care what anyone says about that song. I think that song REALLY sucks. It sucked when it played during those stupid Vonage commercials I use to watch a long time ago, and it sucks here, too. I hated hearing that song when it first started playing in this movie, and it brought back bad memories of those awful commercials I use to watch a long time ago. But anyway...aside from that god awful song, the soundtrack and score here is great. But then again, Tarantino movies usually have a really good soundtrack, so I can't really complain about it too much...minus, of course, that one song, but I'm not gonna harp on that one any longer.

Ultimately, guys, when everything is said and done, can I recommend "Kill Bill: Volume 1"? If you're a fan of Tarantino's movies, then you've probably already seen this, and you might already own it on DVD or Blu-ray. But if you haven't, then...yes, I can recommend it, as long as you're able to overlook the pacing issues that this movie suffers from. If you're into martial arts movies, then you're probably gonna absolutely adore this movie, because there is a lot of fighting here, especially the last half hour of the movie, because that's where most of the action is really at. If you're someone who wants to get into Tarantino's movies, I suppose this wouldn't be a bad movie for you to start with. I mean, it's certainly a better starting point than shit like "Death Proof", but that's just me, personally. As for myself, I did enjoy this movie. I wouldn't say that I loved it, but I did, mostly, enjoy what was here. And I'm hoping that Volume 2 is gonna be an improvement over this one. But I'll just have to wait and see when I get to it, now won't we? Anyway...for now, though, I'm gonna go and watch the only other Tarantino movie I have on DVD, that being "Django Unchained". I'm gonna go do that next, because it has been a long time since I last watched it, and I'm kinda in the mood to watch it again after so long. So that's what I'm gonna go do, and I just hope that, again, the sequel for this movie is gonna be even better.

Anyway, guys, with that, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all later. Peace.