Reaction & Review | Mutant Girls Squad

 

Welcome, one and all, to the final Reaction & Review of 2020. My god, guys, it's been a very interesting year for this series. I know I've already said that, but I still can't believe I have made it this far with this series. And I have found a movie that will, hopefully, end the year on a high note. It is a Japanese gore movie from 2010. That movie is "Mutant Girls Squad".

Now, I don't know a whole lot about this movie. About the only thing I can tell you that I do know about it is the people who worked on this movie. You see, this movie was co-written and co-directed by a man named Noboro Iguchi. And he is responsible for writing a couple of other films that I have seen before. One of those films was "The Machine Girl", which I thought was amazing. But he also wrote "Robogeisha", which I covered for this series, and that film kinda sucked. So I do know that the man can stumble from time to time.

But unlike those movies, where he was solely responsible for writing and directing them, this one has it where he has some assistance in both areas. Now, I can't tell you anything about the co-writer, because I couldn't find any information on him, but I can tell you about the other two people who co-directed this movie with him. The first one is a man by the name of Yoshihiro Nishimura, where he had a had in directing another movie that I saw from him, which was "Tokyo Gore Police". And, for the most part, I really enjoyed that movie, despite it being a little long. And the second person who had a hand in directing this movie is Tak Sakaguchi, who has starred in a few Japanese movies that I have seen him in. I'm talking about films such as "Deadball", "Tokyo Gore Police", and "Yo-Yo Cop Girl". He also starred in another movie that I haven't seen called "Death Trance", but I do have the movie, and I do plan on covering it sometime in the future.

So, with all of that, tonight's movie sounds like it's going to be promising. But I do know that this movie could be a massive letdown, because as I mentioned before, Iguchi wrote "Robogeisha", so I'm being a bit cautious here. But who knows? Maybe with other people helping him write and direct this movie, it could turn out amazing. But the only way I'm gonna find that out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Mutant Girls Squad".

3 minutes later

Well, guys, I have heard the expression of the kiss of death, but that one was kinda sick. Just seeing his head develop a giant swelling and causing him to bleed out is a little bit messed up. But still, it was a rather cool death and...now these guys have all been killed off. So far, guys, the movie's off to a rather interesting start. I kinda hope it stays that way.

7 minutes later

O...K...never thought I'd see someone's ear get cut off like that. Granted, it was a quick cut, but just looking at it in a pool of this doctor's blood is a little bit sick. And now I'm kinda thankful I never took up being a doctor.

3 minutes later

What the fuck am I looking at here...? Guys, I wish I could explain what I'm seeing here, but the best thing I can say is that Rin's father has no nipples and no penis. No, guys, I am not making that up. And I can't describe what I'm...oh, and the mother's head just exploded. And the father has been shot at by these guys from earlier with the nose guns. Yeah, I'm kinda at a loss for words right now by what just happened.

8 minutes later

So this idiot chef kept twirling his wife around him while Rin was busy slicing her up until she turned into a literal baguette. I don't know what sense that made on the chef's part, unless he was just using his wife as a human shield. If it's the latter, then I don't really feel sorry for him.

20 minutes later

O...K. You know, guys, out all the things I expected to see in this movie, Yoshie's face turning into an anteater, with her mouth inside one of the soldier's mouth was not one of them. It certainly is unique...but do we really need a close up of it? Oh...and, now this guy's eyeballs just popped out of it's skull...all right...that was kinda disgusting. But it's still certainly rather unique.

10 minutes later

Oh boy...well, guys, after seeing this General vomit blood into the bowl of Katsudon, I think may have just lost my appetite. I'm probably not going to get that image out of my mind. That was just...oh god, was that just nasty.

14 minutes later

You guys can't hear this for obvious reasons, but this song that's playing during this little killing montage is kinda catchy. I'm beginning to dig this song, guys.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Mutant Girls Squad". Let me shut the movie off...OK. You know, guys, going into this movie, I was kinda setting my expectations high. Because, as I mentioned before, this is from the same people behind films such as "The Machine Girl" and "Tokyo Gore Police", two films which I really liked. But I was also cautious, because while I have a soft spot for these kinds of goofy, over-the-top, Japanese gore films, I did watch "Robogeisha". A movie that, while it sounded awesome, it wound up being a massive letdown for me. And the one thing I wondered about before watching this movie was how would Iguchi do, if he wasn't the only one involved in the writing and directing. Well, after this movie, I can safely say that "Mutant Girls Squad" stands head and shoulders above "Robogeisha", and I would say it's about as good as "Tokyo Gore Police". Now I gotta talk about why, though. So let's start with the writing.

You guys may have noticed that, as I was watching this movie, I didn't really comment much about the writing. I was mostly commenting on the kills and the shock humor. And that's mainly because the writing in this movie was that good. Granted, it's nothing too deep, but it certainly kept me engaged as I was watching the movie. The story does take itself seriously, but not too seriously to a point where the movie sucks all the fun out of what it was trying to be. A real good example would be "Robogeisha". I talked about it briefly when I covered "Samurai Princess", but I feel it needs to be addressed more properly. "Robogeisha" tried to mix in a bunch of different genre's such as comedy, drama, sci-fi, and action. But it failed at doing so, because the movie never properly focused on any one of these genre's. It had a lot of different story angles going on, and because of it, the movie lost focus and, ultimately, the writing suffered because of it. This movie is simple and straight to the point. It doesn't try to be something that it's not, and it works because of it. We have a story that will keep you engaged, and the writing is certainly smart and funny enough to where you can enjoy this movie, providing of course that you are into these kinds of B movies. I will talk about that later on.

Our story here is rather solid. Because the story is divided into 3 chapters. And each one is focused primarily on a different aspect of the story. The first chapter, also known as "The Awakening", focuses on our main character, Rin, who is shown to be bullied at school because she is different. And the reason why she is different is because she is a mutant known as the Hilko. Her parents know that she is a Hilko, because her father is also a Hilko, who ran away from his clan to marry a human woman, which was Rin's mother. After he tells her this on her 16th birthday, they are then killed by these anti-Hilko soldiers, which ultimately awakens Rin's superpowers and killing the soldiers that killed her parents. So basically, the first chapter is a prologue story of how Rin first discovers her mutant powers and just goes off on a massive killing spree on just about anyone who is hunting for her because of her being a descendant of the Hilko clan.

The second chapter, "The Revolution", is mostly about Rin coming into contact with this other group of Hilko that she's brought into. And from there, she's being trained into honing her powers properly. By the way, I should mention that all of the Hilko that we come across in this movie are all females. Well...sort of. Which leads me into one of my only gripes with the writing. It's not necessarily a negative, but I feel like it's worth bringing up. Why are all of the Hilko members female? Aside from Rin's father, we don't ever see any male Hilko members. The only other exception would be Kisaragi, but even that gets shot down because he/she, you can take your pick there, is a transvestite in this movie. I would've like to have seen at least one other male Hilko member, but that's really just a nitpick. But anyway, the second chapter is really good, because we get a ton of backstory on one of the other main characters of this movie, Rei. She gets a ton of development. We don't get a lot of character development on Yoshie, though, because she is the other main character of this movie. And you would think that because she gets a lot of screen time, the movie would give Yoshie some background on her character. But no, that doesn't end up happening. She's really only there to help move the story along by talking about Rei's backstory to Rin, or when she eventually fights with Rin to side with her for reasons I'm not going to spoil. We also have a ton of different Hilko clan members who don't get a ton of depth, but that is intentional. Which leads me into the third, and final, chapter in this movie, "Insurrection". Now, I'm not going to go too much into "Insurrection". But I will say that it starts out with some of the Hilko clan members sacrificing themselves in order to kill the humans for revenge against their race. And it's up to Rin and Yoshie to try and stop the war against the humans.

In a way, the story structure of this movie reminds me of how the Michael Bay "Transformers" movies are set up. Because the first movie was mostly story driven with not much action. The second movie was the reverse opposite, where there wasn't a whole lot of story, but the action was definitely there. And the third movie was a good mixture of both plot and action. And that's what the chapter structure of this movie goes by. Where, in the first two chapters, they have the reverse set-up of the first two "Transformers" movies. The first chapter being action heavy and not a whole lot of story, the second chapter being mostly plot and not much action, and the third chapter basically following the third "Transformers" movie's route of mixing in both plot and action. Now, some people won't like the idea of me comparing this movie's story structure with the Michael Bay "Transformers" movie layout, because I know that are those who don't like the live-action "Transformers" movies. But to me, I feel like making the comparison was fair, because the story structure of these chapters works out great. Because each chapter has something to offer. And as I said, you're going to be sucked into this movie because the story is that good. Again, it's not super deep, but it doesn't need to be that way for this kind of movie. So overall, the writing in this movie is just really good.

The acting is also really good, too. Now, I should mention that there is no English dub for this movie. So I do have to warn you there, on the off chance that you want to watch this movie. Because I know that there are those who prefer to watch a foreign product, be it for anime or whatever, with some kind of an English dub. However, I would still say this movie has fantastic acting. Nobody here, as far as I could tell, was trying to phone in their performances. So, I can say that the acting works really well here, and I can give all of the actors in this movie a ton of praise.

Special effects in this movie are mostly good. Now, it's very possible that this movie was filmed on kind of a low budget, so there are some effects here that are kinda cheap. But that's what you would have to expect when you're watching a B movie such as this. I will say that, compared to other over-the-top Japanese gore movies that I have seen, this movie handles blood effects really well. There are some instances of digital blood, but it's not going to be as noticeable, because there is quite a bit of practical blood. And the practical blood that's used here looks amazing. So much so, that it disguises the digital blood to where you won't notice the differences between practical and digital. As for everything else, makeup effects look amazing, the CG is mostly good, save for one area. And this happens during the first chapter "The Awakening". Where we see Rin just killing humans left and right with her razor sharp claws. And, for the most part, most of the kills look amazing, except for when she has to slice a couple of the humans faces horizontally. You can see the faces are slowly sliding apart from the cuts that they received, and the effects for it look rather shitty, even for a low budget movie. It really could've been rendered so much better, but honestly, that's really about it in terms of bad CG. Everything else looks great, so I can say that the special effects are some of the biggest highlights of this movie.

As for technicals, the camerawork is really good, the lighting is lit well, the sound-mix is pretty good. The music is nothing special, though there is one song that I can recall that plays during the beginning of the third chapter "Insurrection". And the song is sort of a mixture between Japanese and Mexican music, which I don't think I've ever heard of until this movie. And the song is pretty good, which isn't saying much, because it was the only song that I could remember from this movie. But overall, the music here is fairly decent, and does work with the tone and style of the movie.

So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Mutant Girls Squad"? Yes, provided you are into these kind of over-the-top Japanese gore movies. If you are a fan of B movies, then this is certainly worth a watch. However, if you are not into any of these kinds of films that have low budgets or you don't like tons of blood and guts in your movie, then I would say avoid this thing. But personally, I would still recommend it overall. If you can find a copy of this thing anywhere on DVD or Blu-ray, go ahead and pick it up. If you want to save time and money, then you can watch the copy of the movie I watched on YouTube. And I can say that the subtitles are mostly good, save for a couple of lines where the word "aren't" is spelled "arn't". But that's just a minor nitpick that won't ruin the movie for you, unless you're some weirdo who absolutely must have perfect subtitles. As for me, I really enjoyed this movie, and if I find a copy of this movie anywhere, I'm definitely going to pick up a copy of this thing, because it was that good.

And, with that, we come to the close on the final Reaction & Review of 2020. I know for some people that this year hasn't been too kind to them, but even with that, I'm still happy that I was able to start up this series. And I hope that next year, it's going to be better. And seeing as what I have planned for the new year, I'm really looking forward to what I'll be watching during my first themed marathon. And with that, guys, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas

 

Welcome, one and all, to the first ever "Reaction & Review Christmas Special". Yes, guys, with Christmas right around the corner, I think it would be appropriate if I covered a Christmas movie for this series. And for my first Christmas special, I have found a movie that would be perfect for this special. It is a made-for-television movie from 1996. That movie is "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas".

Now, I didn't even know this movie existed until last year. And when I first laid eyes upon it at one of my local video stores last year, I really wanted to check it out. However, due to various other things, I didn't get a chance to pick it up. And I didn't find it again until I found a copy of it at Big Lots, of all places, where I picked it up for only $5. So, I'm kinda happy about that. At least, I hope so, anyway. I'll have to see the movie before I can actually say it was worth picking up.

Now, for those of you who don't know what "The Munsters" is, and you don't watch a lot of classic TV, "The Munsters" was a sitcom from the mid 60's that ran for only 2 seasons. Personally, I loved it. The characters were amazing, the show was really funny, and I loved both seasons. It's a shame that it only ran for 2 seasons, because I would've like to have seen more of it. But that's more of a personal thing. Now when someone brings up "The Munsters", most people are going to think of another show involving a family of horror characters such as "The Addams Family". And, for me, I always preferred "The Munsters" over "The Addams Family". Just because, I watched "The Munsters" first, and grew more of an attachment towards them. Not that there's anything wrong with "The Addams Family", I just have a bias towards "The Munsters", but that's just me.

Now, something's a little weird here. As I was reading the back of the DVD case, just to get an idea of what I'm getting myself into, one sentence caught my attention, and I want to read to you this very first sentence.

"Get ready for some holiday spirits as the first family of fright celebrates the season in the quirky and hilarious 2-hour TV movie, The Munsters Scary Little Christmas!"

Upon reading that, I checked the official runtime of this movie. And according to this DVD, the actual runtime is 1 hour and 31 minutes. Now, the reason why this is important is because if you're going to advertise this thing as a two hour movie, then why is the official runtime of this movie off by about 30 minutes? Now, this could mean one of two things.

One: Either the people that put this DVD out made a misprint error when they were trying to sell this thing as a two hour movie. Or two: They cut over a half an hour of footage for whatever reason. I don't know. But if the latter is the case, then I want to know what they cut out in order to put this thing out on DVD.

Now, I may be reading too much into that. The real question I want to know, beyond the questionable doubt that this is a 2 hour movie, is this movie going to be entertaining at all? I certainly hope it will be, because, after all, I am a fan of "The Munsters". But the only way I'm going to find out the answer to any of these questions, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out, "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas".

6 minutes later

OK, I know it's been a while since I've seen "The Munsters", but I don't recall the door knocker ever talking. In fact, seeing it actually talk is just really odd. Mind you, I'm not complaining about it. But the fact that I'm seeing it talk just threw me off a little bit, you know?

14 minutes later

...Well, I never thought I would see Herman Munster exposing himself to artists to try and earn money. That was...kinda messed up. Funny, but definitely not something I was expecting.

10 minutes later

You know, guys, I would love to have a Randolph the Rabid Reindeer Christmas decoration hanging above my door every year, so that way it can spray dog foam on people. That just sounds fucking hilarious and awesome.

19 minutes later

So instead of putting Santa to sleep, the elves literally turned Santa into a fruitcake. I never thought I would get to say that, guys. That is...kinda morbid.

19 minutes later

You know, guys, I think this is the first time I'm seeing Herman dressed up in something that isn't his usual attire. Granted, it's just a leather jacket, but hey, at least it looks sorta cool.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas". Let me shut that off...OK. Let's start with the one thing I was wondering about before I even started the movie. And that is the 2 hour runtime.

I asked at the start of this Reaction & Review why was this movie advertised as a two hour movie, even though the official runtime was only an hour and a half long? Well, after watching this movie, I can tell you this movie was definitely a misprint. Because this movie does indeed run at an hour and a half. And I think I know why. Since this was a made-for-TV movie, I'm going to assume it was 2 hours on television because of commercials. That's literally the only way I could imagine this thing being a two hour movie. If that's the case, then why did Universal, the company that put out this DVD, advertise it as a two hour movie? If they were planning on adding in the commercials on the DVD, then that would've been a fucking shameful way to advertise this movie as being two hours. Now thankfully, that isn't the case. But I seriously wish that Universal would've been a little more honest in putting out this movie without the two hour advertisement. And I'm kinda thankful that this thing wasn't two hours long, because, excluding the commercials, if this thing ended up being two hours, then this movie would've suffered from pacing issues. So, let's actually talk about this movie, shall we?

Writing in this movie is pretty good. It's basically an hour and a half long episode of "The Munsters", but with Christmas being involved. One thing I was curious about, going into this movie, is how well does this thing hold up to the TV show from back in the day? And it does it really, really well. Now, there might be those who have never seen "The Munsters" TV show from back in the day and might not understand some of the references or about who these characters are. And, to be honest, you really don't need to in order to watch this movie. Because there is a quite a bit of character development within this movie. It's not ultra deep, but you really don't need it for a show that was originally a sitcom. Everyone of the Munster family gets enough time to shine, so no one here feels left out or they don't get enough time on camera. And for a story centered around Christmas, it works really well.

So basically, the story is about Eddie Munster, the only child of the Munster family, who is not feeling the Christmas spirit because they moved out from their home of Transylvania. And the rest of the Munster family decides to hold a Christmas party in the style of Transylvania, so, that way, Eddie could get into the spirit of Christmas. So we see them trying different ways, such as Herman trying to raise money by taking on different jobs, so that he can buy Eddie some toys. We also get to see Lily Munster, along with Eddie, decorate their house for a home decorating contest against their next door neighbor. I will talk about their neighbor in a bit. And then we get to Grandpa Munster, who is trying to make it snow above their house. And somehow, he ends up transporting Santa Claus, who is trying to stay on schedule, and his two elves. And because of this unintentional screw-up on Grandpa's part, they try and get Santa's help to get Eddie Munster to find the true spirit of Christmas. Now, even though this kind of story has been told many, many times before, it does work. And unlike the monstrous amount of movies from the Hallmark Channel, this movie actually does show a lot of heart. Well, at least in terms of what you have to work with involving "The Munsters".

Now, as I said, the writing here is pretty good. But there are also quite a bit of side plots going on, and this is where my issues with the writing are going to come into play. Because there are couple of side plots that don't end up really going anywhere. One of them involves Marilyn, who is the only member of the Munster family who looks like a normal human. She's out mailing invitations to relatives from parts of Transylvania for the Christmas party. And during this, she comes across this dude on a motorcycle, who's name I can't remember, that ends up falling for her. And it doesn't work because, he's only in the movie for a few scenes. And by few scenes, I mean he shows up for about two or three near the beginning of the movie, and doesn't appear again until some where during the last half hour of the movie. I mean, if you wanted to establish a relationship between him and Marilyn, wouldn't you want to have him in the movie more often? It would make more sense to give him more screen time, but then again, it might've taken away time from the actual plot of the movie, so maybe it was a good thing he wasn't in the movie too much. After all, he didn't really have much of a character to speak of with the few scenes that he's in.

Another side plot that I wanted to get to was the home decoration contest. So, as I mentioned earlier, we have Lily and Eddie Munster decorating the house for the house decorating contest. And the person that they're going against is their neighbor Edna. When I first saw her, I thought she was going to play a bigger role, because we see her spying on the Munster's house as it's slowly gaining more attention from the people running the contest. And I thought she was going to find some way to sabotage their house in order to win the house decorating contest 6 years in a row. But..we don't get that. Instead, she really doesn't play much of a factor, aside from one part. And it's when she's handed the fruitcake that Santa Claus was turned into by his elves. When she tries to put the knife into the fruitcake, the judges of the house decorating contest, who were invited over by Edna, start to think she's nuts because the Santa fruitcake starts to act on his own will, while Edna's trying to control it. Afterwards, she then returns the fruitcake back to Lily, who originally gave her the fruitcake. And, like I said, she really plays almost no factor after that, ultimately making her arc kinda pointless.

Now, from the summarization I gave, it really seems like the filmmakers were trying to add in content that didn't really need it. And after kinda talking about it, I could totally see why this movie was marketed as a two hour movie. And it is very possible that there was more to this movie, but it might've been cut so that it could fit into two hours. Now, I could be totally wrong on that, and it might end up being bullshit. But it is slightly possible. However, I still believe it was because of commercials. Whether that is the case or not, as I said, I am quite happy to see that the final product on DVD didn't go to two hours. So, even though Universal lied about this thing being a two hour movie on the back of the DVD case, I can say that it's a lie that I'm willing to forgive them on, because this movie would've dragged on, had the two hours been a thing.

So, beyond all of that, the writing is still pretty good, especially for a Christmas movie involving The Munsters. What about the acting? Well, seeing as how this thing was released in 1996, it's obvious that none of the original actors from the show reprise their roles. However, we do have a cast that play these characters rather well. Sam McMurray nails the character of Herman Munster, in terms of mannerisms, and in how the character acts. Granted, he's never going to be as good as Frank Gwynne was, when he played Herman, but it's still decent enough. I will say that Ann Magnuson plays a great Lily Munster. I would even say she plays it as good as Yvonne De Carlo did back in the day, so I have to give a ton of praise to Ann Magnuson's performance here. She was great. I wasn't a fan of whoever played Eddie Munster at first, but he slowly started to grow on me, and ended up turning in a halfway decent job. And mind you, I say that, because child actors normally turn in terrible showings by default. But he was able to make it work, after I was able to get use to his acting. And everyone else turns in a rather good showing, even if the two characters I mentioned didn't have either enough time or didn't really have much of a role throughout the movie. So yeah, guys, acting here is pretty good.

Now we move on to special effects. The only thing I can think of that had CG, besides sparkle dust, was the door knocker. And the CG on it is OK. There's nothing ultimately wrong with it, it's just really odd that I'm still thinking about the door knocker talking, when it never did that in the show. But that's just a really minor complaint. Then we get to the makeup effects on all of the Munster's, save for Marilyn. And the makeup effects are really solid, but some of it looks little..iffy. What I mean by that is, you will have some characters like Herman and Grandpa looking awesome. And then we get to Eddie Munster, where it looks as though as some of the makeup doesn't look properly applied on him. Now, this may be because this is the first time I'm seeing the Munsters' family in color. Well...second time, actually. There was one exception where, if you saw the un-aired pilot episode, they were also in color. And what's weird about that is, you can totally tell there was tons of makeup applied to all of the Munsters' in that pilot. But here, some of the makeup doesn't feel as though it's applied properly. And, to an extent, Lily Munster seems to have that problem. Now, I am happy to see that she has that eye shadow like she did in the show, but the rest of it looks...kinda off. Now again, that may be because I'm watching them in color, because "The Munsters" TV show from the 60's, barring the un-aired pilot episode, was black and white. So that might be me complaining about nothing. But I still feel that it was worth bringing up. But everything else in terms of makeup effects looks great.

Our sets here are great. And seeing the Munster household in full color looks awesome, which I'm totally happy about. Camerawork here is pretty good, in terms of made-for-TV movie standards. Because when you're watching a TV made movie, you're never going to experience high quality picture when it comes to these types of films. But still, I can praise the camerawork for looking as good as it does here. The lighting is well lit. The sound-mix is mixed well. The score is pretty good, too, especially because there is a Christmas rock version of "The Munsters" theme song. And that sounded amazing. The rest of the score is good, too. But it's that remixed theme of "The Munsters" that really stuck to me.

Ultimately, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas"? If you're a fan of "The Munsters", and you've never seen this movie, go ahead and check it out. You'll end up adoring this thing. And even if you've never seen the TV show from the 60's, I would still say go ahead and give it a watch. You'll probably find something good out of this. And who knows? If you wind up enjoying this movie, then it might motivate you to watch the TV show, which I may do after I finish putting this episode together. I had said before that I wanted to watch this thing since last year, and after missing out on this movie back then, I'm totally happy that I was able to get to watch this thing, and it was totally worth the wait.

Anyway, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | McQ

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be taking a look at a movie from 1974. That movie is "McQ."

Now, I can tell you a couple of things I know about this movie. The first thing I can tell you is that it stars legendary actor John Wayne. And I have been a huge fan of John Wayne's movies for many, many years. I loved most of his Westerns, I'm not too big on his war movies, but even then, they still wind up being watchable.

But tonight's movie has nothing to do with either genre of films. Which leads me into the second thing I know about this movie. This movie, along with another movie similar to this called "Brannigan", which also stars John Wayne, were both attempts to cash in on the success of the "Dirty Harry" franchise. And as I may have mentioned, I have seen all of the "Dirty Harry" movies, and I loved all of them. Well, most of them, anyway. But I'm not going to get into that.

Anyway, I'm curious to see how John Wayne will be able to fit into this kind of role. Because, I have seen movies of his where it wasn't a Western or a war movie such as "Hatari!", which is one of my favorite movies of all time. So, I know John Wayne can pull off amazing performances. So there is a possibility that he can do the same with this movie. And the only way I'm gonna find out, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "McQ".

9 minutes later

Is that boat alarm ever going to get turned off? That thing is starting to sound really grating.

11 minutes later

Well, I gotta hand it to Lon there. He certainly knows how to shut up a douche by just stepping on his toe, and claiming that the guy stubbed it against a chair. That was quite funny there.

7 minutes later

You know, guys, I'm really digging the humor in this movie so far. I wasn't really expecting that. It's actually kinda surprising, but in a good way.

17 minutes later

Holy shit, I recognize that actress! She was from "The Cowboys". Granted, it was only a minor role, but still, I was not expecting that at all. I understand that I'm bringing up a trivial point, but the fact that I recognized an actress from a minor role in another movie was something that I felt like bringing up, you know?

18 minutes later

Well, guys, even though this guy tried to make a runner with his vehicle because he thought Lon was a nut, at least Lon was able to kinda admit to being a nutcase. So...I guess I can't blame him too much?

5 minutes later

You know, guys, in the short time that I have seen Lon use that Ingram, I kinda, sorta, want that gun. That gun is a thing of beauty. Maybe not design wise, but in terms of effectiveness, it sure is.

15 minutes later

You know, guys, even though I can hear the dialogue good enough, the music is sorta drowning this scene out a little. And it would probably be better if the music wasn't this lame jazz music. I can hear a little bit of disco, too. Which makes the music in this scene kinda suck a little more.

The Review

Well, guys, that was "McQ". Let me shut the movie off...OK. That certainly was better than I thought. I guess that shows my hand a little early, doesn't it?

Before I get into the review, I need to talk about something that I mentioned, prior going into this movie. I said that that this movie, along with "Brannigan", were both attempts at cashing in on the "Dirty Harry" franchise. I have not seen "Brannigan", but I hope to review that movie at some point. And when you watch this movie, there a ton of similarities with this movie and "Dirty Harry". Not just "Dirty Harry", but also it's sequel "Magnum Force". Which isn't surprising, because this movie came out several years after the first "Dirty Harry" movie, and only a year after "Magnum Force". Now, I want to make note that just because this movie has elements of both "Dirty Harry" movies, that doesn't make this movie bad in any way. However, I could totally see someone, who had seen the first two "Dirty Harry" movies, find a ton of similarities between both films and this movie. By the way, I may make a ton of references to "Dirty Harry" in this review, so I just want to warn you now, in case I haven't already.

I should start by saying that the writing here is really good. One thing I can give this movie's writing is the surprising amount of humor that we see from our main character, Lon McHugh, or McQ for short, in case you're wondering where the title came from. And this is where the movie really shines, because John Wayne's character is basically somewhat of a snarky badass. Which is very similar to Harry Callahan from "Dirty Harry". And what's interesting about that is that originally, John Wayne was suppose to get the role of "Dirty Harry". But for one reason or another, he turned it down, to which he later admitted was a bad decision. Probably because of how successful the movie was, but I could be totally wrong on that. So, we end up getting this movie where we get to see what could've been, had John Wayne not turned down the leading role of "Dirty Harry". But regardless of that, John Wayne is able to shine on his own here, and it really makes this movie worth watching. Granted, this is coming from someone who has been a fan of John Wayne's films for a long time, so I may be kinda biased in this area.

Our story here is really well done. It's basically a straight-laced cop movie, where a detective is shot and later killed, which leads to Detective McQ to investigate who had done it and why. And that's perfectly fine, because not only is the story simple enough, but the movie is going to keep you hooked to the screen. At no point, will you ever feel like the story is boring and will make you want to fall asleep. The story is going to keep you interested to see where McQ will go next to find Detective Boyle's killer, whom was the detective that gets killed at the beginning of the movie. Now because this movie was trying to cash in on "Dirty Harry"'s success, we see quite a few similarities with both main characters, such as both of them going out of their way of doing their own investigations, getting their badge's suspended until further notice, though in the case of McQ, he just straight up turns in his gun, because the police force of Seattle is too political. But you see what I'm getting at here. And as I said, there is a chance that someone who has seen the "Dirty Harry" movies, will go into this movie, and might notice the similarities, and could see this movie ripping of those movies.

Now, setting aside the similarities, if you go into this movie, and you have never seen the "Dirty Harry" movies, then you're not going to notice any of the differences. And even if you have seen those movies, most people are not going to notice them, or even care. Because, as I said, the movie is still strong enough to show that you can have a strong script, and any worry of this thing being similar to "Dirty Harry" is not really a big deal in the long run.

Now, I promise not to make any more references to "Dirty Harry" from this point forward. So, we have writing here that is really good. The acting here is also really strong, save for one actress, who I will get to in a moment. I was really curious to see how John Wayne would do in this kind of environment. And he plays it rather well, especially considering that this movie was released pretty late into John Wayne's acting career. I wasn't sure if he was able to pull it off, but thankfully, he proved me wrong here, so I can give him a ton of praise here. It's not his best performance, if we're talking about movies where it isn't a Western or a war movie, but it's still good enough to show that he still had it. One other actress, who I was surprised to see her when I was watching this movie, goes by the name of Colleen Dewhurst. I had to check to make sure she was the same actress that was in "The Cowboys", and I was right. And I was surprised, because one thing I need to mention about myself is that, whenever I watch a movie, specifically a much older movie, I will recognize actors, be it in minor or major roles, who had been in other John Wayne movies, be it a Western or any other kind of movie, and I usually go "Holy shit, I recognize that actor from that certain movie". And it's kind of a nerdy thing with me, so if I happen to do it again in future Reaction & Reviews, then you'll certainly know it. But Colleen Dewhurst also turned in a great showing, as did everyone else, save for one, who I'll now talk about. And it's the actress who played Ginger, who is John Wayne's daughter in this movie. She was the only actress who phoned in her performance, because for the 2 or 3 lines she had in this movie, it sounds like she's speaking them all really quickly into one sentence. And it comes across as if she's running out of breath, trying to get her lines out. I think another take or two would've really helped deliver her lines better. But, as I said, she only has 2 or 3 lines in the one scene she's in for about a minute, and then disappears from the movie altogether. So, aside from her, the acting is great.

There really isn't much I can talk about in terms of special effects. I can really only mention stuff such as squibs and blood, and that stuff looked fine, in terms of effects from 1974. We also have quite a few car chases that are pretty good. They're nothing special, but they do help keep the movie going.

Camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting is well lit. The score is decent, save for one scene, and this is going to tie into sound-mix. There's this one scene where we see McQ talking with Rosie, who is literally a pimp. And as they're talking, we get to hear this really lame, kinda shit, jazz music. And I never thought I'd say that, because jazz music is usually really solid. But to hear it in this scene is just terrible. Not only that, but I may have heard a bit of disco music, too. Now, I could be totally wrong on that, because I haven't heard a lot of disco music, thank god, but if it was used here, then it kind answers why the music in this scene sucked. And what also hurts this scene more is the sound-mix, because the music is so loud, you can barely hear what McQ and Rosie are saying. Some of it you could possibly make out, but a lot of it is drowned out by the music being so loud. So much so, that it makes this scene almost unwatchable. Now, beyond that one scene, the sound-mix is still really good throughout the entire movie.

Ultimately, guys, am I able to recommend "McQ"? Yes. Because as I said, whether this movie has a ton of similarities to "Dirty Harry" or not, the movie is still really solid on it's own standards. I can recommend it if you are a fan of John Wayne, I can recommend it to anyone who likes cop movies, and I can even recommend it to fans of the "Dirty Harry" series. Because, most likely, they are not going to notice, or even care, about this movie having similarities to "Dirty Harry". Now, do I think this movie is as good as the "Dirty Harry" movies. No. I do I think a majority of them, save for "The Dead Pool", are far better movies than "McQ". I will say, however, that this movie is certainly better than another cop movie that I covered for this series, which was "Coogan's Bluff", which also starred Clint Eastwood. So I can, at least, give the movie that much. But overall, I'd say go check this movie out. It certainly is one of the better movies that I've seen from John Wayne, that isn't considered a Western, that I've really liked. Speaking of which, I mentioned "Hatari!", which is not only one of my favorite movies of all time, but it's also a non-Western movie starring John Wayne. I'm gonna go watch that, because it has been quite a while since I've last seen that movie.

Anyway, with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna be covering an animated OVA from 1994. That movie is "Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals".

Now, I should start by saying that I have played a little bit of Final Fantasy. However, my history with that video game franchise is somewhat cursed. Because, for one reason or another, I can almost never finish those games. I first played Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles for the Nintendo GameCube, but I never finished it because I couldn't find a definitive ending for that game. I then played Final Fantasy: X-2, which was the first game in the mainstream Final Fantasy games that I played, which probably isn't someone's first choice when starting out with a main title in the Final Fantasy series. To be fair, the game was actually kinda fun. However, my copy of it decided to stop playing on my PlayStation 2. So unfortunately, I never ended up finishing it. And then I played Final Fantasy VII, which is considered, according to most fans, to be the best game in the entire series. But...I don't really see why. I tried it, and I never ended up finishing it. The game was not only boring, but I might've missed out on something that would've helped me defeat Sephiroth in the final battle. So there's that. And then my curse finally ended when I played Final Fantasy X, which I was able to fully beat, and...the game was OK. It certainly was a decent game, but it ended up being way too fucking long for my tastes.

So as you can tell, my history with Final Fantasy isn't entirely a positive one. As for tonight's movie, I do know a little bit about it. I know that this OVA was released in 1994, and it was later distributed on VHS in 1997. Now here's where it gets a bit tricky. You see, the company that put this OVA out on VHS was a distributing company known as Urban Vision. And for whatever reason, Urban Vision lost the distributing rights to this movie. So unfortunately, the movie has never seen a re-release on DVD or Blu-ray to this day. And because of that, the only way you could view this thing is if you had a VHS player that still works and was able to run this movie. However, the prices for those VHS's are pretty steep, if you were to try and find this thing online. Thankfully though, there are two copies of this movie on YouTube, one with the English dub, and the other being the Japanese subtitled version. And if you like the OVA enough, you could run the risk and buy the VHS online. Again, providing if you have a VHS player and the money for it. But, you might want to hold off on doing that, at least until after you read this review.

Now because there are two different copies of this movie on YouTube, for the purposes of Reaction & Review, I'm going to be watching the English dub. So, I am hoping that the dub will be, at least, halfway decent. But, I don't know if this movie will be any good, considering I'm not really a fan of the Final Fantasy franchise. But the only way I'll know if I will end up enjoying this thing or not, is if I shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out "Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals".

7 minutes later

That thing's suppose to be a Chocobo? I may not have played a lot of Final Fantasy, but I do not recall Chocobo's ever going featherless. That thing basically looks like a fucking turkey being prepped for Thanksgiving. I totally understand that it may be a minor complaint, but it just looks a little bit off to me, you know?

13 minutes later

So let me see if I understand this. Prettz's idea was to force these pirates to crash their ship in front of the entrance to the Temple of the Wind, so that way he and Linaly could gain entrance, which was already high above ground. Yet, Linaly already figured out how to get up there by herself, by way of some sort of puzzle that lifted her to the entrance...I don't know what kind of sense that made on Prettz's part, but I'm going to pretend that it made some level of sense, and just hope that this movie gets better.

10 minutes later

So I wasn't imagining things when I saw Linaly's ass started glowing after the Wind Crystal was absorbed into her body. That is just creepy. And what makes it even more creepier is that Linaly is, potentially, under-aged. And if that is the case, then that makes seeing these up-skirt shots of Linaly even more awkward.

10 minutes later

OK, guys, I think now might be a good time to mention this as any. The acting in this dub is fucking terrible. I kinda hope it gets better as the movie goes along, but I fear that I might be asking for too much at this point.

20 minutes later

I didn't think this was possible, guys. But the acting in this dub is, somehow, getting worse. This is almost starting to become painful to watch, guys.

17 minutes later

You know, guys, you would think, at this point, I would care about Linaly being kidnapped. But to be honest, I really don't care. This movie has been kinda shit. Well, not shit, just really, really dull. I kinda hope these last 20 minutes or so will be interesting. But somehow, I kinda have my doubts.

9 minutes later

So hold on a fucking second here. When did this movie jump from Rouge getting hurt to Mid finding the mind of his grandfather? Either this is a technical issue on my end or this is just a poor copy of the movie that I'm watching that someone uploaded, and might've skipped over some important information. Granted, I understand this movie's been kinda dull, and it might not change anything, but I want to know. What exactly did I miss here?

The Review

Well, guys, that was "Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals". Let me shut that crap off...dear god. Wow. Guys, I have to start with something that I have never done before. I need to talk about the missing scene. Specifically, I need to address the 5 minutes that were missing from this copy of the movie. You guys may have noticed that I was complaining about how exactly we got from one scene with Rouge getting hurt to another scene with Mid reuniting with his grandfather. So, I decided to do something that I have never done before in this series. And that is watch the missing scene in the Japanese version with the English subtitles. And in order for me to talk about this, I need to talk about spoilers. So, if you are someone who is reading this and is curious on checking this movie out, you may want to skip the next two paragraphs, because I'm going to be talking about that entire 5 minutes. I just want to warn you now so, that way, you won't have to worry about being spoiled. If you don't care about spoilers, then this is not going to affect you either way. So now, let's talk about those missing 5 minutes.

So after Rouge gets shot at, Valkus starts going on a shooting spree and destroys all of the incoming enemies that he sees. Afterwards, our heroes spot the villain of this movie called Deathgyunos. So they charge after him with their ship, guns blazing, to which it leads to his destruction. After they land on the ground, Prettz goes to look for Linaly, to which he finds her being carried by a robot. He then pursues after the robot and, ultimately, destroys it. Afterwards, he tries to wake up Linaly. She does, and proceeds to kick the ever-loving shit out of Prettz, which I thought was the highlight of the entire movie, because Prettz was really annoying. I'll talk more about that when I talk about writing. So after Linaly literally beats the shit out of Prettz, Mid appears and stops her by blowing some sort of smoke in her face. According to Mid, Linaly lost her wits due to some magnetic force. Don't ask, it doesn't make a ton of sense. So anyway, she recovers, and then a giant orc appears to attack our heroes before he gets gunned down by Valkus. And then, we are shown that Valkus and the others have gathered the other 3 crystals, including the one in Linaly's body. And this is where the missing 5 minutes ends before Mid discovers the brain of his grandfather.

So as you can tell, that 5 minutes that I had to condense was filled with heavy spoilers. But you would not have known that, had you watched this movie, and not realize that there was footage cut out near the end of the movie. But it's really noticeable, because it cuts ahead really awkwardly after it looks like Valkus is going to go on a killing spree, and then it cuts ahead to where we see the group together with Linaly, who looks perfectly fine. Now, I would've said that this may have been a technical issue on my end, but it really was a poor copy of the movie that I watched. How? Because I decided to check the description from the person who uploaded this movie, and it has a link to the Japanese subtitled version that clearly states that there is an extra 5 minutes missing from the English dub. Which tells me either it was a fuck up on the person who uploaded this movie, or the user knew they had a poor copy of the English dub that was missing footage and still decided to upload it anyway. Either way, it is very scummy, and it makes this copy of the English dub borderline unwatchable. Then again, it's unwatchable for a couple of different reasons, but I'll get into all of that later on. Now this may entirely be my fault, because I didn't check the description when I started to watch the movie, and not know about the 5 extra minutes of footage. But either way, it just feels wrong to see that I was watching a butchered copy of the movie, on a technical level, and not realize it until near the very end of the movie. I sincerely hope that the VHS print of this movie doesn't have those 5 minutes of footage missing, but I would not be surprised if that is what ended up happening. But I'm just speculating at this point, so I think I should finally move on and talk about the movie itself.

Now, on the off chance you skimmed by those two paragraphs, I'm going to make this point short and quick. This copy of the movie is borderline un-fucking-watchable because of the missing 5 minutes of footage. And the person who uploaded this copy of the English dub of this movie, intentional or not, should be fucking ashamed of themselves for leaving a copy of this movie unchanged and not re-uploaded with the full footage.

With all that out of the way now, let's finally get into the movie proper. Let's start with the writing. As I have stated earlier, I am not a huge fan of the Final Fantasy franchise. And I think the big reason as to why is because I just never found the stories or any of the characters interesting. Now granted, I have only played a handful of Final Fantasy games, and there may come a time where I will find one game in that series and end up liking the story and the characters. As for this movie, it is no different. Now I will say that the story does work. At least, in terms of a Final Fantasy setting. Because we have our main characters, Prettz and Linaly, who travel to the Temple of Wind by the request of Linaly's grandfather, who was suppose to accompany them. Well, more specifically Linaly, because he doesn't like Prettz for some reason. But because of a sand monster, Linaly's grandfather can't continue on the journey with her and tells Linaly to go at it alone. But Prettz eventually ends up joining her, regardless. So anyway, they end up finding the Wind Crystal that ends up in Linaly's body. And from there, it ends up being a quest to put a stop to a villain named Deathgyunos, who wants to use the crystals to end up becoming a god and destroying the world in the process.

Now, as I said, all of that is fine for a plot involving Final Fantasy. In fact, as I was looking up any kind of information for this movie, I found out that this story is set about 200 years after the events of another Final Fantasy game that I haven't played, which is Final Fantasy V. Now, since I haven't played that game, I'm probably going to leave out a ton of details that someone may correct me on. But to be perfectly honest, I don't really care. Because I'm reviewing this movie on it's own standards, rather than trying to fit in what was either missing or left out of Final Fantasy V. And unfortunately, the movie fails to deliver because of it's characters either being really annoying or really shallow. And I touched upon that earlier as to why I'm not a big fan of Final Fantasy. The story can work, but you have to have interesting characters in order to help carry that story forward. Or in the very rare case of Final Fantasy X-2, the gameplay was actually really fun, despite the lackluster story and the bland characters. But that's beside the point. I'm gonna rundown every character that I can remember by name.

We first have Linaly, who is one of the descendants from Final Fantasy V, and one of the main characters for this OVA. She has a very standard good guy personality that is really dull and doesn't change in the slightest. Then we have Valkus, who is an air force general who is really loud and has a crush on Rouge. Speaking of which, Rouge, is a pirate who's only after treasured valuables. Bascially, she's Rouge the Bat from Sonic, except with less personality. And I wouldn't be surprised if this is where Sonic Team got the idea of Rouge the Bat from, but that's just me speculating about something trivial. Then we get to Mid, who is, honestly, the only character in this movie that has some sort of development, because he's one of the descendants from Final Fantasy V. Unfortunately, his personality is really dry and it comes to a point of him being kind of annoying. Now, I don't know if he was like in Final Fantasy V, but I'm sure it has to be better than he was in this movie. And then we get to our other main character, Prettz...oh boy. Prettz is one of the most annoying and obnoxious main characters I have seen in a movie in a long time. And what's funny about that is that during the second episode, where they are locked up inside a cell on Rouge's island, Valkus says someone should shoot Prettz and put him out of his misery. Which is honestly what I thought should've happened. Every single time Prettz opened his mouth, I just wanted someone to fucking shoot him in the head, because he was just that annoying. Unfortunately though, that doesn't end up happening. So unfortunately, our characters here are just kinda shit and dull overall, at least in terms of personality.

Now we get to the voice acting. As I stated before the start of this review, I opted to watch the English dub for this movie. And unfortunately, that ended up being a really poor choice. Not just because of the missing 5 minutes footage, but the acting overall is just terrible. Almost everybody in this movie is either overacting their performances by yelling their lines or they're purposefully subduing them. One example I can think of is during a flashback, where we get to see how Mid's grandfather was dying. After he dies, Mid gives out the most subdued 'no' I have ever heard. I want you to imagine the ending of "Star Wars: Episode III", where Darth Vader gives out the very infamous line of crying 'no'. Now imagine that, except when Mid yells out no, it sounds very drowned out, that it could almost be seen as laughably bad. In fact, I would almost say that the acting in this dub could be seen as just laughably bad. And if this copy of the movie didn't have the 5 minutes of missing footage, then I probably would've recommended this thing to watch with friends on a bad movie night, assuming of course, if you don't care about plot or substance. However, because I have more of a standard when it comes to story and characters, this movie doesn't do it for me. And personally, this dub is just awful, and not in a funny way.

Animation is really good. And I can tell you that it's good, because it was done by a very well known Japanese animation studio known as Madhouse. And Madhouse is known for creating some really awesome looking shows and movies such as "Perfect Blue", "Tokyo Godfathers", "Summer Wars", "Black Lagoon", just to name a few. This movie is no different. For something that was made in the mid 90's, this is very impressive. Of course, if I were to compare it to the stuff that Madhouse made today, then I would say that the animation looks dated. However, you would have to be completely foolish to try and compare an OVA from 1994 to the current stuff Madhouse has made. So yeah, animation in this thing is really good, from the unique character designs, and to the different locations set in the world of this movie. That being said, I do have to talk about the picture quality. Because the picture quality in this OVA is fuzzy and grainy as shit. And you can totally tell that the person who uploaded this thing decided to upload a very poor VHS copy of the movie, and it shows how bad the quality is. But what's strange about all of this is that when I checked the Japanese version to see what I had missed from those 5 minutes of missing footage, the picture quality in that version is clear and crisp as day. It almost looks like it was uploaded from a DVD or Blu-ray copy, despite the fact that this movie still doesn't have a proper home video re-release. So if you want another reason to avoid the horrible English dub, then the Japanese subtitled version is going to be a much better viewing experience for you, both in sound and in picture quality.

Sound-mix is competent enough. The music here is pretty good, too. Listening to the music in this movie would definitely be something I would hear in a Final Fantasy game. So at least this movie got that much right.

So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Final Fantasy: Legend of the Crystals"? I can, maybe, recommend it to fans of Final Fantasy, and that's about it. I certainly can't recommend it to non-fans, such as myself. Oh, and I would prefer watching this movie in Japanese with the subtitles. There is no way in hell I can recommend this copy of the English dub that has poor picture quality, and the 5 minutes of missing footage. This English dub is unwatchable. And while I may not be a big fan of Final Fantasy, I was still hoping for this thing to, at least, be halfway decent. But unfortunately, this movie couldn't even meet those standards. Now, I kinda want to watch a better movie made by Madhouse, and the first thing that comes to mind is "Redline", so I'm gonna go watch that. That way, I can try and forget about this horrible mess.

Anyway, with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.

Reaction & Review | Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.

 

Welcome, one and all, to an all new Reaction & Review. Tonight, ladies and gentleman, I'm gonna be covering a superhero comedy from 1990. That movie is "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.".

Now, I was originally going to cover a different movie for tonight's review, but because of various circumstances, I had to cancel that review and bump the, originally planned, movie off the schedule for now. But thankfully, I have found a different movie to fill in that gap. Not only that, but tonight's movie also comes from the indie film studio known as Troma.

As some of you may happen to recall, a ways back, I reviewed my very first movie from Troma, which was "Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies". A movie that, at least to me, ended up being really good. So much so, that I said after watching it, I wanted to see what else Troma had in their film catalog. And this movie ended up being one of them.

Now, the only things I can tell you about the movie is, not so much about the movie itself, but that there was suppose to be an animated series for the character of Kabukiman that never ended up happening, outside of a trailer that is up on YouTube. And I think you can still find the trailer for that cartoon series up on YouTube. Why the show never came to be, I don't know. But that's just me talking about a cartoon series. As for the movie itself, the only things I can tell you about it is that it has something to do with fatal chopsticks, according the tagline of the movie poster...and that's about it. As I said, I don't really know much else about this movie.

And that may be a good thing. Because I have went into movies before with so little information, and I ended up really enjoying them. Well, some of them, anyway. I don't know if "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D." will end up being one of those movies I enjoyed watching, but I am going to find out right now. So the only thing for me to do at this point, is for me to shut up, and I push play, and I'm gonna do that right now. So, without further ado, it's time to kick back, relax, and check out, "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.".

9 minutes later

You know, guys, I was gonna make a snarky remark about this play being kinda dull, but after seeing just about all of the performers being shot at for real actually made the play more watchable. I wasn't expecting that.

2 minutes later

So...the powers of Kabukiman is transferred to Detective Griswold by way of kissing? OK...it's certainly one of the last things I ever would think of when transferring someone's power to another. But, maybe that's just me.

15 minutes later

OK, I have a bit of a stupid question. Is it a normal business practice for someone to give Mr. Stuart a blowjob while he's talking with someone face to face during regular business hours? It just seems a little bit weird to me, you know?

11 minutes later

O...K. Well...I was wondering about those fatal chopsticks that the tagline was referring to and...well, I now know the answer. My god, was that ever disgusting. Funny, but really nasty, man.

1 minute later

...And now he just literally squished that guy's head like a watermelon. You know, guys, I think it's safe to say that Kabukiman is slowly starting to become one of the coolest superheros I've seen in a movie in a long time. I'm really liking this movie, guys.

16 minutes later
 
You know, guys, these must be the happiest kids in the world, if they are witnessing Detective Griswold being chased down, as a clown, and being shot at by Mr. Stuart's gang at their birthday party. But I guess that's happens when you throw a shitty birthday party, so I can't really say I blame them.

17 minutes later

You know, guys, I find it kinda funny how Kabukiman is now considered a hero by the citizens of New York. Yet, during this montage, we saw him just a couple of minutes ago, slice up a hooker and another guy's body parts into sushi. It's kinda fucked up, and sorta gives the wrong message out to kids, but I'm not going to complain about it. It was still funny, overall. Just thought I'd share that tidbit of information with you, guys.

3 minutes later

Guys, every time I think I have seen Kabukiman outdo himself with these crazy kills, he just comes with something even more hilarious and awesome. And I'm loving every moment of it.

The Review

Well guys, that was "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.". Let me shut the movie off...OK. Earlier, I mentioned that the character of Kabukiman was suppose to have an animated series of it's own. But for one reason or another, that never ended up happening. And that's kind of a shame, because this movie was, actually, pretty good. I would've like to have seen what Troma would've done with a Kabukiman animated series. But anyway, let's start by talking about the writing, shall we?

The writing here is actually pretty good. One thing I wasn't expecting in this movie was how good the humor is. One of the biggest problems I have with the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies is how humor is handled. Now, mind you, I've only seen a handful of Marvel's movies in the Cinematic Universe, mainly because, I'm not really a big Marvel fan, and I'll touch more on that when I cover a certain movie next year for Tales of the Longbox. But anyway, one good example I can think of is "Guardians of the Galaxy". Where the humor in that movie is so forced and contrived, that it actually brings the movie down. Because the movie tries, in vain, to make you laugh at almost every single thing, such as Drax not understanding sarcasm, or that incredibly retarded dance towards the end of the movie. None of it was funny. None of it was witty. It was a poor attempt by the writers to show that they didn't have likeable characters or an interesting story to back any of the "humor" up. "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D." shows you how to do humor right. Because none of it is forced or played out for cheap laughs. A lot of it can be described as odd, and I will admit that not all of it is going to be funny to some viewers. But at least it's not trying too hard to make you want to a laugh at every single joke in the movie.

In terms of characters, our characters are developed rather well. Such as our main character Harry Griswold, who turns into Kabukiman. He is a police detective for the N.Y.P.D., and he's not a very good one at that. One night, he attends a Kabuki play, and it ends up with a bunch of these thugs shooting and killing most of the Kabuki actors, including one of the elder ones who is responsible for giving Griswold the powers of Kabukiman. Now, one thing I was curious about when watching this movie was how the powers work. So, as I mentioned in the reaction portion, the old man, before dying, kisses Griswold, thus transferring his powers of Kabukiman over to Griswold. It's still kinda odd, but I'm willing to roll with that. And during the last, like, 20 minutes of the movie, it is stated by one of the villains of the movie that without a woman's love, his powers are useless. Again, it is a bit odd, but it does make some level of sense. In that case, why did we see Griswold turn into a clown earlier on? Does that mean that without a woman's love, he's bound to turn into a clown? Because during the final act of the movie, we see Lotus, Griswold's love interest, is captured by Mr. Stuart's gang. And at no time during then, did we see Griswold turn into a clown. His powers are much weaker, sure, but he could've turned into a clown and pull off some kind of shenanigans until he saves Lotus and turns into Kabukiman. It just seemed really weird to me, guys. And at no point after Griswold reverts back to himself from a clown, that the clown is ever brought up again. So, there is that little bit of logic issue there.

Going back to characters for a moment, if there is one thing I did find kind as a weak point in terms of characters, it would have to be our villains, lead by Mr. Stuart and his gang. Basically, none of them are threatening in any way, including Rembrandt, who I thought was going to play a major role, because he is the one who is responsible for killing most of the Kabuki performers. But unfortunately, he gets taken out pretty easily by Griswold in the latter half of the movie. So that is kind of a disappointment there. Plus also, our villain, Mr. Stuart is played up as more of a cartoonish villain you would see in a lot of plotless, cheesy, action movies. And unfortunately, just like Rembrandt, he doesn't really put up much of a fight once his plan succeeds. I'm not going to tell you how exactly, because that would result into me talking about spoilers. But I will say that the villains do kinda suck, overall. On the flip side, as I mentioned, Griswold gets the most development out of every character in this movie. Because after he gets his first taste of being Kabukiman, you start to see him slowly be interested in Japanese cuisines such as sushi and raw mackerel, and learning about all the powers he has inherited as Kabukiman. And while I'm on the subject of Kabukiman, he makes this movie worth watching. One of the things that makes him stand out is his kills. And this isn't even a horror movie. Yet, he has the most unique kills I have seen involving a superhero in a long time.

And I may as well jump into special effects. Most of the effects in this movie are practical effects, and for the most part, they are really good. And I want to start with the kills. One of them I mentioned earlier was the fatal chopsticks. And I'm gonna tell you, in terms of effectiveness, it looks fucking brutal. Because the chopsticks are sticking out all over his front body, and it looks really cool. Another effect is when one of these thugs is holding a bat, and Kabukiman is repeatedly cutting up the bat into pieces, and the effect for that looked really cool, too. Granted, it wasn't a kill, but I thought it was still worth bringing up. One other kill I wanted to mention is when Kabukiman is holding this giant camera, and when he takes a picture of one of Stuart's gang members, the thug turns into two weenies hanging in his shoes. The effect for it was simple, because it's just smoke that comes out after Kabukiman takes the photo, but sometimes, the simplest effects have the better results. There was one effect, however, that looked rather weak. And it's during a scene where Kabukiman and Lotus make a jump off of a building after one of the gang members fires a rocket at them. After they jump, we, then, see them flying, because Kabukiman has the power of flight. And all of that sounds great, except, you can clearly see the wires that are carrying both of our main heroes, and it looks really noticeable and comes off really poorly. So there is that. Beyond that one poor effect, though, costuming is really good. I really like the detail on the Kabukiman costume, because the top half of his face is covered with a mask. And other half of it is covered with make-up that matches the colored mask, which I thought was a nice attention to detail. The only thing I thought was kinda weak about the Kabukiman costume is the hair. Now, that may have been intentional, but the hair does look like it was a glued-on wig. But honestly, that's just me trying to stretch it to even call it bad.

So yeah, guys, special effects, which include make-up effects, are mostly really good. The acting, though, is a bit of a mixed bag. Some of it can be seen as some of the actors who are either hamming their lines to a point where the acting is laughably bad, and some of it is pretty good, such as Rick Gianasi as Griswold, when he's a detective, and when he's Kabukiman. And even though the villain of Mr. Stuart was somewhat cartoonish, Bill Weeden was able to make it kinda work. The only actor who I kinda have an issue with was the actress who played Lotus. Because Lotus, at times, doesn't know if she's overacting or if she's trying to sound like she's serious. Now mind you, none of it is overly bad, but I could totally imagine someone watching this movie, and see that the acting, not just from Lotus, but the acting as a whole, is just laughably bad. So I do have to warn you there. Also, there is this one news reporter who I can't tell was trying to give off either a British accent or an Australian accent, but he's only in the movie for about a few minutes, so it's not worth arguing about. Overall, the acting is pretty good, but that isn't saying a whole lot.

Camerawork is pretty good, although the editing could use some work. One big example I can think of is the scene I mentioned earlier when Kabukiman and Lotus fall off a building before flying. I also mentioned the rocket launcher, but the rocket that fired from it seems to have disappeared. Because we see it go off, and as both our heroes fall backwards, we never see the rocket fly over them. We hear the rocket explode, but we never see the rocket itself. Where the hell did the rocket even go? Unless it was a dud, and duds apparently explode, then I don't know what the hell happened to it. Also, there are some bits of choppy editing, where some scenes are spliced together and come across as really quick, and it seems kinda odd. Beyond that, though, the camerawork here is pretty good. The lighting is lit well. The sound-mix, at times, is a bit quiet. I had the volume up at the highest, and there were some scenes that were also quiet. Now that may be a technical issue on my end, or it might've been the version of it I watched on YouTube, but the sound-mix was a bit of an issue for me. Hopefully, the DVD version of it will have better sound-mix. The music is also pretty good. I can recall listening to Kabukiman's theme song play during a montage, and the song was pretty good. It isn't something that is going to set the world on fire, but it was still good enough for me to enjoy it.

So, when all is said and done, am I able to recommend "Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D."? If you are into super hero movies, especially comedies, then yes. Because, as I said earlier, this is, at least to me, one of the funniest superhero movies I have seen in a long time. And I do think that you should see this movie, at least, once. However, if you are someone who's either not into super hero movies, or is not into movies that have a low budget, then I would best say pass on it. But still, I would say check it out. If you have a Netflix account, and it's on Nettflix, check it out, assuming it's still on there. As for me, I was genuinely surprised by how this turned out. After I had to postpone my original review, I wasn't sure if this movie was going to be a good substitute or not. And you know what? I am happy to say that this movie turned out positive results for me, in the end. And that feels fucking amazing.

Anyway, with that, guys, we come to the close of another Reaction & Review. Until next time, ladies and gentlemen, take care, and I will see you all in the near future. Peace.